Skip to main content

Women of Rubies

Category

self development

Category

In a recent post which Content creator and positivity advocate (HIV/AIDS), Mary Ero, shared on her Instagram page, she narrated a short story of how life dealt with her andd how Banky W helped her.

See what she wrote:

“So today this happened. On the surface it might look like an ordinary celebrity /child-of-starstruck-parent photo opp but there is a deeper story here.

About 8 years ago, while about 6 months pregnant with this little girl here, I fell onto terribly hard times. I have chronicled most of it on my social media platforms but to summarise it, I was abandoned by my child’s father, lost my house, was kicked out unceremoniously from my job at MTV for no reason, and to crown it all, diagnosed HIV positive.

Shortly after that, my then best friend, with whom I was staying, decided she had had enough so I was given an eviction notice.

Long story short, I began to reach out to my friends and acquaintances to try to pick up the pieces, get a place to stay, deliver safely and move on. Suffice it to say that practically none of my celebrity ‘friends’ ever came through. These were people who would call me non-stop when I was in MTV but suddenly, I was invisible.

The only people that did were this man, @bankywellington, and @funlolafar. (Funlola I don’t consider a friend but a sister, or worst case my cousin anyway.😊) What was funny is that both of them had no knowledge of the situation I was in. I think this will be the first time Banky will be hearing of it. I just told him I was trying to raise money for a place, I think.

In those days @bankywellington had not even come close to being as successful as he is now. Yet the next morning, before 7am, he had driven from his place in Lekki, to my house in Magodo with cash for me. And as usual, a hug.

Now one reason people are scared to ask for help especially money from friends is that the dynamics of the relationship changes after someone has helped you out. People who give suddenly feel somewhat superior to the receiver or even feel that the receiver is a tiresome distraction. Not all the time but a lot of the time. However, with Banky there was never that awkwardness. I met him several more times as I managed to get back on my feet over the years and he never behaved like anything like that transpired between us. He was always warm, always hugging, always kind.

Today at ICM which I took my daughter to entirely by coincidence, I ran into him doing his ambassador duties at the Samsung stand. This would be the first time he would see my daughter ever. I had no intentions of her taking pics with him but he just grabbed her and asked ‘where’s your camera’? Then he began to tell her how he and I go way back. It was all I could do not to cry a little. As we left, my daughter asked “Is he a famous person”? I said “Yes. But more importantly, he is a good person.”

 

 

credit: IG, fabwoman.ng

Mizwanneka Nkuma Doris, the CEO HAIR BY WANNEKA is the last child of nine biological siblings and a beautiful wife, mother and business guru. The hair boss as she is popularly known, started her journey down this business path in 2013.

Worthy of note also is the fact that Mizwanneka is rounding up her degree in a private university and successfully manages her task as a student and entrepreneur.

For Mizwanneka, the inspiration to become a hair entrepreneur started with the insane idea of wanting to surprise her husband and prove to him that women can also be independent, make their own money and also stay successful without being a liability to people around them.

Also, her passion for human hair products was what made her decide on her choice of business. Many hair clients love Hair By Wanneka because of the style of advert used by Mizwanneka, as well as the affordability of the hair types.

She has several times shared her inspiring story of how she had to quit her business more than two times because the business had failed. With determination however, she started again and less than two years after, her business is flourishing.

Wanneka in her early days bought her weaves from a well known hair seller and resold them. She also went to banks and waited till the close of work to speak with the fashionable female staff to patronize her. From the banks, she moved to her church and  waited at the church gate for the service to end just to speak with the beautiful sisters from the church and tell them about her business.

Getting more active on social media was a huge success for her as she was able to gather enough money to buy a large stock of product, but unfortunately she had to start from square one when she was given fake goods.

Talking more about her business, she said:

“Once you give your customers fake hair, it is a huge task trying to win them back, so one needs to be very careful where you source your products from. It was a huge setback and led to distrust from clients. At some point in my business, I didn’t get patronised for over 4 months, it was really hard”.

Wanneka, who describes her style as exquisitely chic with a bold personality continually advises young start-up entreprenuers to be passionate about what they want, and be sure they want to stay in the business such that when challenges arise, they will remain.

The hair boss who is the mother of two beautiful kids owes a part of her success to her husband who was very supportive in helping her manage the children and do school runs most times, especially when she had to leave her store extremely late into the night.

She paid him in her own beautiful way by buying him a Range Rover Envogue for Valentine this year.

Also, in July 2017, the businees woman was able to open a new business with profits entirely from her first business, Hair By Wanneka. This new business she called Wanneka’s Lounge, a lounge located in Lekki phase one, a surburb of Lagos State.

Wanneka who is known for the fierce love she has for her children, Emily and Sergei also said:

“I made it mandatory every weekend to always spend time with my kids, even if I am going to the shop, we go together.  This is to sustain the bond. My mum has also been extremely helpful. Motherhood is a company on its own”.

When asked what she will like to do for  change, she says

“there are a lot of women out there who do not have opportunities like I have had, I would like young women to be persistent, strong and focused

 

 

credit: fabwoman.ng

Hello WORriors! Today is #WCW and our Woman Crush is the one and only Sola Sobowale aka Toyin Tomato!!!

Sola Sobowale is a Nigerian film actress, screenwriter, director and producer. She joined acting as a member of the Awada Kerikeri Group under the leadership of Adebayo Salami. Over the years, she had scripted, co-scripted, directed and produced several Nigerian films. Her roles in Village Headmaster, Mirror In The Sun and in the infamous Yoruba film, Asewo To Re Mecca, remain evergreen.

However, playing Toyin Tomato in the Wale Adenuga 2001 Super Story series, Oh Father! Oh Daughter! shot her into super stardom. She has featured in over 200 movies and self-produced over 50 films. During an interview, Sola Sobowale revealed that she has been acting for 40 years now.

She scripted, produced and directed, Ohun Oko Somida, a 2010 Nigerian film that stars Adebayo Salami. She left Nollywood and Nigeria for 15 years to focus on her family and recently debut her comeback to Nollywood with the movie ‘The Wedding Party’.

Some of her movies include, Asewo To Re Mecca, Eri Okan, Ohun Oko Somida, The Diamond Ring, Family on fire, The Wedding Party 1&2, etc.

One fun fact is that, Sola Sobowale doesn’t wear ready made clothes. She makes her own clothes.

 

Women Of Rubies celebrates you, dearest Sola Sobowale!

 

One sexual harassment (I have experienced quite a number) I will never forget was when the cussed man groped me in his office, right in the presence of another staff.

I didn’t see it coming. My tongue must have been very twisted or was it my brain? I remember being numb and dumbfounded. It took few expensive seconds to come to terms with what had just happened or what was happening. And in those long seconds, if the blaze in my eyes could start a fire, the fire department would not have been able to control the damage down the street.
Till this day, I don’t know if I would have felt better was there no third party. If I would have grieved my injured self worth with saner thoughts. A huge part of me would have preferred I was humiliated ‘privately’ but overtime, I have seen a million and one reasons to be thankful for the other presence in the room/office.
If he could grope in such close perimeters with another soul, he definitely had no cares at all and it could have been worse.
It happened so fast, it left me drained, tactless and stupefied.
To crown it all, I could not report it. The case was and never will be reported because of peculiar reasons top of which was – I would have been kicked out of the job. (The Nigerian Bosses- Subordinates Factor).
I relive that experience till this day. And as I grow older, feeling the need to sensitize people on a number of things.
No one should ever go through such demeaning, discriminating and objectifying acts.
Work place sexual harassment shouldn’t be taken lightly.
I was harassed in more than one way.
He sent suggestive emails, told lewd jokes, touched inappropriately, made sexual comments about my appearance (he couldn’t even stop staring at my rear), he made way too many inappropriate sexual gestures!
Some people didn’t get of his hook as ‘easily’ as I did but their stories are theirs to share, not mine.
I am extremely grateful to the support group I had outside of work then. If (God forbid) I find myself in a similar situation now, I know better to handle it differently or to do extras.
To share some of the things I did/would have done-
1. I spoke to him about it. This may not have fetched me much, but should the case have become legal, it will be on record that I knew what he was up to and called his attention to it. Denial will not be easy for him.
Or I could simply be telling him about it in the hope that he changes.
2. I documented a lot. I saved and printed the unsolicited rude messages I received. Again, for legal purposes.
3. Report. This I never did but will definitely do if the situation presents itself again. Who knows the number of people I will be saving by doing so. I have learnt that the worst that can happen is to lose the job. Jobs are being lost daily anyway.
The documented evidences over time will come in handy here.
4. Leave. In my case, I couldn’t take it to the HR because of his level and whatever loyalists he had in HR. The story could have been flipped on me and I couldn’t bare to not have a job. (Now I know I will always get another or better still, start something on my own). So I kept quiet till miraculously, he was taken away/got carried away by some other conquest.
It is important that steps 1 and 2 are simultaneously. Steps 3 and 4 would come on the heels of the other if 1 and 2 have failed.
Should you want to take it further, enlist legal practitioners or seek assistance from relevant NGO.
Stand for what you believe in!
credit: Siju Yusuf

The queen of Ife, Olori Wuraola Zaynab Otiti Ogunwusi says that she will not rest until she has contributed her quota towards changing the way the African society views violence against women. The world class monarch and highest queen in South West Nigeria had recently shocked the world by marching on the streets of Lagos to condemn and raise awareness against the scourge of gender based violence and sexual abuse victimizing women in Africa. Her campaign called #1in3Africa was to be the first time ever a globally renowned monarch was to be involved in such a grassroots activism to fight a social malady that is fast growing to point of a pandemic.

sexual and domestic violence

Now she has revealed that this is the beginning of the struggle and anyone who views this act as horrendous should join in the eradication of this epidemic. The March in Port-Harcourt and in Abuja dates are yet to be disclosed. She also hopes that through this process will start a proceeding towards having a bill passed that will accord more protection for Nigerian women at the hands of potential abusers. She says her organization will set up help lines for women undergoing abuse to obtain help, create communication systems to create awareness against the crime and also employ other means such as counseling and rehabs to restore women who have suffered abuse. She also plans to drive for more arrests and prosecutions of more offenders.

In explaining her motivation for getting involved in such activism, Olori Wuraola said: “Many people have expressed shock that a queen will get involved in a street march of this nature. But then, that is the whole point! I have been so shocked by what I see the society turning into that I am left with no choice than to march in the streets to raise awareness against this malady, if that is what I have to do. People can be quick to condemn flimsy things without condemning injustice I run a foundation that cares for rural women. I have seen women who are so afraid of their husbands that they are afraid of coming out to receive economic empowerment, preferring to remain in abject poverty, rather than be subjected to battery by overbearing husbands, who want them to remain in subjugation. A man you should love and respect suddenly wants you to be scared of him. Marriage is partnership and that’s how it works. I find it so hard to believe that such a deep rooted evil in our society will be existing and people are going about as if nothing is going wrong!”

She is alarmed that society treats violence against women as “family matters” while thousands of young women are dying daily as a result of injuries inflicted by battering husbands and lovers. She believes that gender based violence and sexual abuse against women is a crime and should be treated as such.

According to her:  “The most troubling aspect of the whole issue is that these women suffer from a soul-deep emotional trauma and it robs them of their self-esteem, they become permanently damaged psychologically and they do not even know it. These women see themselves as undeserving of aspirations to a better life and future. And it impacts on their children who are conditioned to see themselves as inferior people, devoid of the right to ambitions!”

Olori wuraola strongly believes that emancipating women from domestic violence will free the real potentials of Africa and enable the innate human capacities that will take the continent to the next level to be unleashed. She advocates that economic empowerment of African women should begin with social emancipation of African women from Battery and abuse.

#1in 3 Africa campaign march took place on Friday 30th June 2017 at 10AM, from Falomo to Bar Beach across Akin AdesolaStreet in Lagos. It featured a large throng of women from all walks of life, with highly illuminating presence of celebrities among the crowd.

The march has had the support of a- list celebrities such as Ooni of Ife, Emir of Kano, Muhammad Sanusi II, Nollywood actors like Tonto Dikeh, Mercy Aigbe, Kate Henshaw, Ini Edo, Monalisa Chinda, Uche Jumbo, Funke Akindele, Adunni Ade, and Annie Idibia. Other celebrity partners include; Seyi Shay, Ndidi Obioha (Enthyst), HRH Queen Chika Acholonu, Onari Duke, Dare Art Alade, Ifeoma Williams, Yutee Rone, Toke Makinwa and many more.

 

We love amazing testimonies and Solara‘s (@yeetgod) is one of them. She remains strong and confident even after a tragic fire incident when she was two years old. But that didn’t just happen, she went through a lot of challenges and down times and she has decided to share her story with the world.

After several surgeries and procedures, Solara attempted to take her life at least four times, but she ended up coming out stronger. “I hated that I’m covered in scars but I slowly started to learn to love myself,” she said, adding “I’m a survivor.”

Solara | Photo Credit: Instagram – @yeetgod

GoFundMe campaign has been set up to assist Solara with medical expenses. You can support her HERE.

Solara after the tragic incident

Read her story below:

I was born in Lebanon (a country in the Middle East) the accident was caused from an explosion, several people were injured and some were even killed. Of those killed my baby brother was one of them. I suffered third and fourth degree burns on 70% of my body, I was two years old at the time of the accident.

Doctors predicted that I’d only live 24 hours after the explosion but I survived and was put on life support. I was in a coma for 6 months after that. When I woke up I couldn’t hear, see or walk. I had several surgeries in Lebanon but I came to the U.S for more treatment and surgeries.

I’ve had dozens, maybe even a hundred procedures and surgeries. A large portion of my life was spent at the hospital and for a period of time during my childhood I couldn’t walk.

The first time I attempted suicide I was 12 and since then I attempted suicide 4 times, I didn’t want to live. I thought the world was against me. I had suffered so much pain and I just wanted it all to end. I was put on suicide watch at the adolescent psychiatric unit all 4 times with extensive counseling, it didn’t seem helpful at first but looking back I think it was.

I had extreme insecurities, I was insecure about my facial deformities. I was insecure because i have scars on the right side of my breast. I hated that I can’t use my right hand. I hated that I’m covered in scars but I slowly started to learn to love myself. I still very much have insecurities but I’m taking it one day at a time.

Beauty is a concept I have struggled with but I have a lot more confidence now than I did as a kid. I think I’m beautiful. My scars tell a story, they represent my strength and bravery. I’m constantly thinking of my brother who passed away, I think he’s my guardian angel, he is what keeps me going as well as my family, friends, and son. I am surrounded by love and happiness. I’m a survivor.

Source: Bellanaija.com

CAROLYN SEAMAN

A female techy who is using technology to empower girls through her Girls VoicesInitiative. The organization empowers girls to use digital literacy skills, journalistic and advocacy skills to make positive impacts in their communities in Nigeria.

 

DAMILOLA ANWO-ADE

Founded CodeIT, a platform that mentors the next generation of coders, including young women.

 

OLAMIDE AYENI-BABJIDE

A computer engineer who founded Pearl recycling – an initiative that aims to redefine local production from upcycled waste and increase internally generated income through waste upcycling.”

IJEOMA VINCENT-AKPU

 

PETRA NNAMANI

A lecturer in the Department of Pharmaceutics, University of Nigeria, Nsukka.

 

credit: misstechy.com

Hello WORrior! Today is #WomanCrushWednesday and our Woman Crush is Arese Ugwu, the Smart Money Woman!

Arese Ugwu is the author of the bestselling and ground-breaking The Smart Money Woman, the financial-chick-lit novel that has taken Africa by storm. She is helping young Africans discover their power to build their future and make smarter money decisions through Smart Money Africa, a personal finance platform for the African millennial, engaging young Africans on the importance of financial literacy and the impact it has on helping them get money, keep money, and grow money.

Using the best of traditional and new media, Arese’s work appears in newspapers, on television, websites, social media, online videos, and through her book—all to reach her audience with accessible content that explains and navigates Africa’s unique financial landscape, delivering practical knowledge.

Her work in ensuring financial literacy for Africa’s youth has not gone unnoticed. In 2015 she was a finalist for Access Bank’s W Awards for Young Professional of the Year; in 2016, she won Rémy Martin’s Pacesetter award and was nominated for The Future Awards Africa Prize for Education.

She serves on several boards including House of Tara, and the Nigeria Higher Education Foundation as a non-executive director, and is also an associate member of WIMBIZ, serving on its planning committee since 2015.Arese also holds an MSc in Economic Development from University College London (UCL) and a BSc in Business and Management from Aston Business School, Birmingham. She is also an alumna of the of the Lagos Business School, INSEAD Abu Dhabi, and The London School of Business executive education programs.

Her other interests include, world travel, reading, playing tennis and squash.

Here are other interesting facts you might like about (In her words);

”I’m awesome!

Lol! just kidding

……….but I really am

I am passionate about my amazing daughter Zikora! Anyone who knows me (or follows me on instagram lol!) knows that my beautiful daughter is the centre of my universe.. My fear of being broke and hungry in adulthood multiplied after I had Her.She became my no 1 motivation to work harder and BE better because it is extremely important to me to provide a better life for her than my parents did for me. (and they provided a pretty great one)”

”I’m a bit obsessed with series! I will admit to pretending I’m Olivia pope from ‘Scandal‘  or  Jessica Pierson from ‘Suits’ when I know I have a tough day ahead to help me get through it! Don’t judge me! You probably channel them too on occasion ????”

”I’m a foodie! My love for food and my constant struggle to lose weight in the torture that is Jide’s ICU class is ermmm complex!”

”I LOVE my job!  Needless to say … I am a glorified slave to rich folk ( with a fancy title) lol! But I’m not complaining the experience I have gained in the course of serving my clients and their businesses is invaluable. I love working with an amazing team of analysts and stockbrokers to come up with financial solutions that meet their needs.”

Women Of Rubies celebrates you, smart Arese Ugwu!

Today’s employees are under more stress than ever before. A recent Harris Interactive poll found that one-third of workers ages 25 to 39 feel burned out by their jobs. Additionally, doctors are seeing more stress-related illnesses than ever before, including anxiety, depression, insomnia, adult ADHD, backache, and migraines. In fact, primary care physicians report that between 70% and 90% of patient office visits are precipitated by underlying emotional stress.

So what is causing all of this turmoil? Over the past 10 years businesses have become lean, mean machines by reducing personnel and increasing the workload on those who remain on the job. An increased workload forces the worker into multitasking, which may be effective for a short period of time, but over the long term, causes excessive stress.

In the business world, multitasking is a must-have skill for any employee, yet most workers feel they are being asked to do too many tasks. Why do we see this disconnect between the workday realities and the workers’ perception? Because people have never learned exactly how to multitask. That’s right, multitasking is a learned skill. By learning how to multitask efficiently, you can dramatically reduce your workday stress, increase your productivity, and enjoy your work once again.

The Keys to Multitasking Success
Contrary to popular belief, multitasking is not about “piling on the work” to the point of exhaustion. It’s about training the brain to channel energy in an efficient and effective manner so you can accomplish more in less time. And believe it or not, one of the hallmarks of learning to multitask is to actually slow down to accomplish more.

Following are some techniques that will help you mentally slow down so you can finally learn how to multitask and master this essential business skill.

Practice how to multitask
Whether you’re learning how to play the piano, use a computer program, or multitask, practice is essential to mastering the skill. Why? Because practice makes something seem routine, and when something is routine, it’s no longer stressful. Look at all the things you do in a day. Pick a few routine tasks to start with. As you master doing multiple routine things, then move on to slightly more difficult tasks. Gradually work up to the number of tasks you normally do.

During this process, remember that learning takes time. Very often people jump into a new role or responsibility without gradually gearing up their workload. Then they wonder why they feel stressed and can’t multitask effectively. So if you want to do all the things you do each day in a more efficient manner with less stress, take a step back and teach your body and mind how to work up to the productivity level you desire.

Know when a task requires undivided attention
Switching brain channels (focus) repeatedly actually reduces your memory recall. Think of your brain as a computer. If you are working within multiple programs and have numerous windows open on your screen so you can quickly jump from program to program, you may find that your computer has a higher tendency of locking up. That is, when you have fifteen windows open at once on your computer, and you attempt to pull up your word processing document, it’s not uncommon for your computer to run slowly or to totally freeze up, often causing you to lose all the data since your last “save.”

The same thing happens in your brain. When you’re performing multiple tasks that require your undivided attention, your brain gets overloaded, as it can only process information from one channel at a time. Therefore, do not multitask if the assignment requires your full attention. Once that urgent or detailed task is complete, then you can go back to doing the other tasks you normally do. This step will save you lots of rework, as you’re more prone to make mistakes when your brain is overloaded.

Use a tool to help you multitask
To avoid taxing your brain, write down items you can refer to quickly. For example, if you have a list of items you need to refer to often (such as pricing or shipping information or keyboard shortcuts) put the list next to your phone or computer for quick access. Not only will others think you are brilliant because of your amazing ability to rattle off information, but you won’t have to waste brain energy on such mundane information.

Allow your mind to reboot
Shift multitasking to single tasking throughout the day to allow your mind to reboot. The human brain uses more energy than any other part of the body. As such, it needs constant replenishment. Rest is one of the key components to increasing personal energy and productivity. So every two to three hours, stop multitasking and allow yourself to do just one thing for fifteen to twenty minutes. At the end of this rest period, you’ll feel refreshed, alert, and ready to tackle more tasks—and you’ll do so with fewer mistakes than if you plowed through your tasks without this re-boot period.

Take a brain break
Most employers offer their full-time staff a lunch break and two fifteen minute breaks throughout the day. Do you take yours? Most people do not, and as such, they’re not giving their mind a true break from the stresses of the day. Use break time to walk around the building, sit outside, or just close your eyes and meditate. Do whatever you like during these fifteen minutes to clear your head and give your brain a rest. If you really can’t afford a fifteen-minute break in your day, then turn off your mind as you walk to the water cooler or restroom. Give your mind some kind of total break from the workday tasks. To function at peak levels on a consistent basis, regular breaks are essential.

Do More with Less Stress
Multitasking is a part of our world. If you want to succeed, you need to learn how to multitask so it doesn’t overwhelm you and cause unnecessary stress. By simply slowing down and working up to the performance level you desire, you can multitask effectively and increase productivity. Simply put, learning how to maintain your highest level of mental functioning is your key to multitasking success.

 

credit: www.amanet.org