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self development

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Please hold on, I really don’t mean to scare you. However, 75% of corporate employees fail in business; be it a side business or a full time business after years in corporate employment. Have you ever wondered why it is so?

At a time, I thought it was a jinx, as I could not imagine how a high flying employee could fail woefully in a personal business. I have also had my fair share of failures but now I know better.

Let me share a bit of my failure story.
One beautiful afternoon, I got a call from a colleague and he introduced me to a wonderful health product. The interesting part was that I would get paid for using the product and get commissions from inviting people into the business. It was a networking business.

Being a sales person at work, I saw this as a walk over and I invested in the business immediately. My dear reader, I never smelled any commission as I could not introduce any one to the business. It is over six years now and I still have some of the products in my home. Let’s just say I leant how to fail honourably.

In the last three years, I have invested in three businesses and I am bold to say that I have made considerable success in each of them. This success rate did not just happen, it is because I have learnt from my previous failures and I’d love to share same with you. For the sake of this article, we will call our case study Sunshine.

Order
Sunshine works with a pre-listed job description and role assignment. For 7 years, Sunshine resumes to her job function each day, working through her duties in a breeze and she has imbibed this way of life subconsciously. She sees life in this form of stability and order. This is the mindset that Sunshine takes into the business world. Sunshine does not know that building a successful business requires a level of disruption. Things hardly work out as planned especially for start-ups. Order is her first shocker in the business arena, as there is every cause for alarm.

Research
Sunshine is a very busy hard worker and she hardly has time for social functions except family events. During one of such events, she got talking to a cousin of hers. He cousin invites her to a trending business and voila, her mind is made up. She resumes to the office and tries to contain her excitement till she shares her new found business idea with her colleague at work. Her colleague leapt for joy at the idea and Sunshine went ahead to invest in the business. Sunshine has set herself up for failure as she did not research her market and only got counsel from her busy colleague just like herself.

Capital
Sunshine once failed in a business before she started. This is because Sunshine was waiting for the big lump sum as her initial capital to start. Eventually, sunshine got her huge capital and invested all into her business. She made the huge mistake called OVER CAPITALIZATION. She invested more in finesse instead of founding values. I have been there so I know. The chilling boxes I bought when starting out in my event planning business are presently used as storage boxes in my home.

There are still other factors like Trust and Processes but I will be stopping here for today. I hope this article has helped you think things through, even as you start your business.

Do feel free to comment on other factors you know so as to help that corporate employee venturing into starting a side business.

Source: Bellanaija

In an Instagram post  yesterday, multimedia personality Toke Makinwa narrated how two experiences cost her some opportunities in her career.

She went on to encourage people to keep fighting for their dreams until it is achieved as, according to her, she’s gotten better opportunities. She wrote:

When God is involved, it can never be for less. In my life I have seen him come thru so many times I’ll be selfish if I keep it to myself. I remember when we started the OnBecoming tour, we approached a number of companies for sponsorship and one particular incident left me sooo broken. We had been talking back and forth and all was looking exciting till the news of the legal suit hit the press. I remember I was in Ghana and the night before OnBecominginGhana was amazing. I woke up in such high spirit till the news filtered the air and then I got that call, our “potential” had pulled out. I read that text over and over again in tears, they pulled out because they didn’t want to be thrown in the middle of it all (who can blame them) boy was I hurt, I was broken. I had put so much into this project and prayed so hard yet here I was disappointed, I felt I wasn’t good enough, I couldn’t pray and then it hit me, this has happened before, I remember when the news of my marriage hit the press I was in the middle of signing a 20million Naira deal, all was good to go till news broke and it seemed like what everyone was talking about. They pulled out. It was bad timing. I remember how I held the toilet bowl all night, I have never felt that kind of pain in my life. I have worked hard, prayed hard and God knows I needed that money. My life had changed overnight, I was trying to hold on to everything and it seemed like everything was working against me but God came thru, he provided much more than that deal and I have never had to look back to think “if only” I had that money, he kept blessing me. In both cases God over compensated me???? SA is looking really good ????, I can’t wait to share who our sponsor for the OnBecominginSA is, they are not just flying me to SA, my entire team is coming to and everything is paid for in full. Why do I share this you may ask? Perhaps you woke up this morning feeling defeated, you are about to stop trying, you’re so sure your idea sucks and no one will support you, hold on. You are closer than you know,. God has bigger and better plans for you, he knows you’ve cried all night, he knows what this means to you, he will come thru even better ❤️

Multiple awards winning media personality and business woman Matse Uwatse Nnoli took to her Instagram page to announce the launch of the new Matsecooks Spice Range.

She wrote:

1. Suya Spice.
This spice is also a multipurpose spice. You can use it to Grill fish, Meat, add it to Noodles and Eggs. It is so delicious…and you can lick???????????? it.

2. Pepper Soup Spice.
This is a very lovely pepper soup spice…it will make your house smell soooo nice and tastes so goood. Just add some crushed fresh garlic to your peppersoup and finish off with scent leaves…pure heaven.

3. 9ja Fried Rice Spice.
This spice will give you correct colour and flavour. It is delicious.

4. Party Jollof Rice Spice.
This spice will give you that correct taste of Party Jollof that you love. Just allow it to burn a bit at the base and your enjoyment will be immense.

5. Everything Spice.
Whether na Stew, Sauce, Eggs, Grilled fish or Meat. This spice does not disappoint. It gives life to bland meals.

CONTAINS:
NO PRESERVATIVES.
NO ANTI CAKING AGENTS.
NO COLOURANTS.
NO FILLERS.
LOW SODIUM.
GLUTEN FREE.
ORGANIC.

It is very easy for a guy to start getting distant somewhere along the line in your relationship. If you are suffering in your relationship because your man is pulling away and becoming distant, I know how painful it feels because I have actually been there myself! It could be that he has stopped making plans in advance, or he is telling you he is confused, or he has stopped initiating affection and now he is telling you how busy and stressed out he is with work.

It is very easy for us women to feel a shift in his energy and it instinctively makes us feel worried, anxious and insecure, no matter how much we want to appear cool and confident. It feels so frustrating and devastating when the love we once felt from him feels like it is just drifting away and then we start asking ourselves, “How could this be happening?”

How can you get things back to the way they felt in the beginning, when you knew he was so into you?  He was doing and saying all the right things, everything to make you feel so happy. We believe if we can just talk to him and let him know how we feel and specifically how we feel about him, he would instinctively want to “fix” things to make us feel better and be compelled to come closer. Wrong.

I have learnt that this is exactly what does not work to inspire a man to want to get close again. In fact, it has the opposite effect on him! It makes him feel pressure and the ONLY thing he wants to do is run as far away as possible – as fast as possible!

What we instinctively want to do actually pushes our man further away. When you learn how men and relationships really work you will get all the time, love, attention, affection, fun, passion and romance you have been longing for.  You will get amazing results with your man.

If you do not learn how men and relationships really work and you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep finding yourself in the same painful situations over and over again, wondering what went wrong, analyzing everything your man does and spending your precious time trying to figure out what he is thinking and how to bring him back.

If you want to get everything you want from your relationship,

Imagine Your Man is Right In Front Of You.
What do you want to do? If you are anything like me, you want to reach out and touch him and talk to him – move closer. Stop Yourself From Moving Towards Him In Any Way.

Imagine making eye contact and smiling softly at him. Let him move towards you first and close the “gap”. This looks like him physically moving towards you, calling you, texting you, making plans, and initiating affection.

When we allow there to be space between us, if he is the man for you, he will instinctively and automatically come close. He will sense you are a woman who values herself enough to not chase any man and simply requires a man to pursue her (without saying a word) – it creates a magnetic pull on him he cannot resist!

Use Specific Words And Phrases To Compel Him To Come Even Closer.
When he starts coming close again, you can “give back” by letting him know it feels good to hear from him, or you feel happy to see him, or his soft kisses make you feel soft and warm and he will feel a connection he has never felt with another woman. All it takes is practice talking in this new love language. (When we stop moving towards our man, we begin to worry he will think we are not interested, we do not care or we do not love him – we can eliminate these fears by being soft, warm and inviting when he comes close.)

To bring him closer today, just try and relax. Relaxing gets you into the present moment where your man can connect with you.  (A man cannot connect with us when we are up in our heads, worrying, analyzing and trying to figure him out.) By doing this, you begin to lighten up. For me, I began feeling better immediately. I felt the tension leaving my body.

By just relaxing and acting like everything is okay and you are in control, your vibes will instantly shift, making you more magnetic to your man. Commit to seeing yourself as a woman who easily inspires her man to want to get as close as he possibly can by not doing anything or working hard to make it happen.

Simply being a woman is magnetic to a masculine man.  Your only job is to receive the love he has to give.
Let’s Recap: Anything we do or say that looks like moving towards our man – calling, texting, initiating, advising, asking him how he feels, being super sweet and understanding, or making things easy for him in any way, actually kills his attraction for us.

What draws him towards us is allowing there to be space between us. Allowing, trusting, receiving and responding to your man is what creates and builds attraction for a man.

Try this, it could really work for you, I promise and i would love to hear how this goes for you.

To our happiness. Cheers.

 

Source: Guardian

We are in the 21st century and it is shocking that activists, advocates and development agencies still continue to agitate for citizens access to the internet. Internet accessibility has undoubtedly become a fundamental human right; but some nations are not allowing the freedom that comes with internet access. There has been a large-scale government-authorised crackdown or total shutdown of the Internet, especially in developing nations.

To best describe the Internet in formal terms, it is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the Internet protocol suite (TCP/IP.) Despite the increasing billions of people accessing the Internet, there remains pockets of the world that do not have access, or an attempt to restrict or control the content that users have access to. Why are developing countries shutting down the Internet? Why the legislation to crackdown users? Why has the Internet become more of a threat?

Participants from over 400 countries gathered in Stockholm to find answers to the foregoing concerns – with the theme, “Leaving No One Offline” . The just concluded Stockholm Internet Forum (SIF) had participants from governments to corporate agencies and civil society actors; the argument moved from legislation to economic liberation and users privacy.

To get closure, I decided to enquire from participants from seven countries – (used that number for my sample size) on how they have fared in accessing the Internet, from legislation to affordability and crackdown. Their responses gives a sense of what is obtained in many under-developed nations.

Cameroon
The Cameroonian government recently suspended Internet services for Anglophone areas of the country, (Southwest and Northwest province) after a series of protests that resulted in violence and the arrest of community leaders.

“The cost of exposing the state abuse and the state excesses has fallen below the price of data”, says 38-year old Kathleen Ndongmo of the Anghore Group. “In any gradation of citizen activism, taking a picture or video is the lowest risk form of engagement – a bullet cost more today than any dissenter”.

Despite being the leader of the country for almost 34 years, President Paul Biya is also to stand for the 2018 presidential election in Cameroon. A new seven-year term for the head of state is also linked to the severe internet crackdown.

Mozambique
Mozambique, a nation of 26 million people, has a barely sufficient 6% Internet penetration nationwide. 32-year old, Borges Nhamire, with the centre de Integridade Publica says the poor access to Internet is linked to government stringent regulations. “They (government) are not allowing for a free market”, he alluded. “During the 2011 demonstrations against the state of the economy, government shutdown access to internet and all forms of communications.”

Mr Borges says to ensure the crackdown is absolute, much after the restoration of Internet, “the government embarked on an enlightenment campaign, deceiving the population that WhatsApp conversations are monitored – that move reduced the participation of most Mozambicans from civil society activities that may be termed anti-government”.

WhatsApp’s end-to-end encryption ensures only you and the person you’re communicating with can read what is sent, and nobody in between, not even WhatsApp. Messages are secured with a lock, and only the recipient and users have the special key needed to unlock and read messages; but a government manages to deceive its people in a bid to stifle dissent.

Zimbabwe
Another country facing series of crackdowns is Zimbabwe, and with elections ahead, speculations are rife. The government introduced a cyber-crime and computer crimes bill with unclear definitions “so you could tweet something and they can determine whether you’re a cyber terrorists – and the essence is to curb protests”, says 32 year old Munya Bloggo of Magamba Network, a Zimbabwean organization.

Munya said in January 2017, “the government in collaboration with the private sector, allowed a 500% increase in data so it becomes out of reach of the ordinary people which then led to “datamustfall” hashtag.

Myanmar
In far away Myanmar, with Aung San Suu Kyi as incumbent State Counsellor and Leader of the National League for Democracy, the popular Section 66(d), seems to be the newest threat to freedom of expression. It is a tool, surprisingly, for the former activist. Persistent repression of criticism through section 66(d) of the Telecommunications Law has led lawyers, politicians and activists to suggest that conditions for free speech have continued to deteriorate under the National League for Democracy-led government, despite expectations that the new leadership would usher in an era of freedom.

The government is under mounting pressure from the public and from rights groups to amend its criminal defamation laws, after a spate of cases against journalists and bloggers has raised questions about the administration’s commitment to protecting free speech. “Our member posted a satire on his facebook wall and he got six months in jail” Activist Zar Chi Oo tells me. Activists Chi Oo is a member with PEN Myanmar, a pressure group advocating for the law to be abolished says it puts every social media user at risk of arrests or detention. “A supporter of a public figure can just see any post and sue the user and said social media user is immediately detained”.

Tanzania
The Tanzanian government in 2015 also got smart enough to develop a cyber-crime bill. The document shrouded in secrecy was “taken to the parliament. Citizens were given only 24 hours to review the document with most parliamentarians lacking knowledge of most of its content”, famous activist with the Change Tanzania movement, Maria Sarungi-Tsehai says. “What they were really doing was criminalizing gossip”, she continued – “and that has led to series of arrests of crackdowns as we’ve seen over the last year”.

Pakistan
While other nations give different reasons for the subtle crackdown or total shutdown of the Internet, the Pakistani government attributes its intermittent act of shutdowns, or blocking platforms like YouTube and Facebook, to the prevention of terrorist activities.

Authorities claim users posting blasphemous content has a tendency of leading extremists/terrorists attacks. The government only recently, also threatened Facebook to reveal identity of users. 24 year old Rafia Shaih, a freelance Journalist says “If you’re shutting down the Internet for national security, what is being done is simply attacking the basic human rights of communication”, she argues.

Kenya
Judith Omigar, working with Juakali, an online platform linking young people seeking for jobs in the formal sector says, “The Kenyan government is likely to shutdown the Internet ahead of the August general elections”. She said there has been series of arrests of bloggers posting contents against powerful persons in the country, and the build up to the election season will likely see to more crackdowns of Internet users.

The conversation about a free, open and secure Internet, that promotes human rights and development worldwide continues. For governments, especially in the developed nations, I’d like to share a 2009 report by the World Bank, which clearly states that access to broadband boosts economic growth in all countries, but most especially in developing ones.
The study also showed that in developing countries, for every ten-percentage points of broadband penetration, their economies grew by 1.38%. The report, conducted in 120 countries between 1980 and 2006, showed that developed countries’ economies grew by 1.21%.

About Mercy Abang

Mercy Abang is a Journalist – Media Fixer with Sunday Times of London, BBC, Aljazeera and a former Stringer with the Associated Press – She tweets at @abangmercy..

Aside the many hormones in overdrive, these journeys are one of the toughest a woman goes on. A return is not guaranteed. Even if there’s a return, the bearer is never the same again. Physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual and social changes are inevitable.
The desire to birth children, becloud us so much so that our gazes are on the price, largely never on the process. A price not guaranteed.
I write not as a ‘spoiler’ or ingrate, I write rawly, a broken woman who has been through these journeys, and who has also lost people on these journeys.
I maintain, pregnancy is underrated. Making and growing a child is not a picnic. No doubt, the making for some is breeze but the larger percentage of women agree the growing is not a child’s play.
A jumble of events in your erstwhile organized life…
13 IVF’s after and finally, there’s a bun in the oven. 6 months of taking extra precautions, 6 months of palpitating breaths, 6 long months of endless night watch and vigils, 6 months of indescribable feeling of anxiety and excitement- the bun gets burnt not because of the length of stay in the oven, but maybe temperature, or is it just nature?
And you say this is not exhausting?
5 years after, luck crawls at the door and there’s another faint line on the stick or ‘Clearblue’ is gracious enough to pop ‘3 weeks’ on its screen. The tortuous journey begins. 7 long months of nausea and vomiting, nosebleeds, carpal tunnel syndrome, sciatica, restless leg syndrome, gestational diabetes, cervical incompetence etc and the wee one decides to make an unannounced entrance. Several attempts at pushing results to forceps but for some medical reasons, the child decides against the world, it wanders far away in dreamland. Let’s say preeclampsia or placenta previa. Whichever one tickles your fancy. The Mum-To-Be then decides to go in search of the wandering child and both wander into beyond.
Regardless of medical competence, provision and administration these journeys and its trophy are not guaranteed and that’s why there will never be zero mortality rate.
My heart goes out to every family that has burnt a bun, lost a love, or buried instead of make merry in these processes. We would do anything to stop these endings if we could but hey, ain’t we just mere mortals?
To those that have been there and back with their trophies; I know you got your scars to remind you of the ‘hell-a’ job you did. May I also congratulate you once again and remind you to remain forever thankful and not to spare a hug for your trophies.
TTC and anticipating; Hold on there will you? It’s not guaranteed but it does happen. So may you have it if you want it that badly.
Arghh, I shudder at the thought of the oven or is it the kitchen? I guess more like the Builder who in this case also designs the journey.

Don’t second-guess if your man loves you. Read these signs and know for sure.

Men and women show that they care in very different ways. If a man is willing to publicly display his love for a woman, he is not messing around. It takes extreme vulnerability for a man to show and express exactly what he is feeling on such a large scale. There are at least 7 things a man will only do for the woman he sincerely loves.

  1. He listens

If you ever think that men sometimes behave like children, you’re not entirely wrong. Most men only concentrate on things they are passionate about. If they love you, your voice is music to their ears and all you have to do is say something that really matters and they are hooked.

The man who really loves you will not only hear you but will pay attention to your words. You will notice that he follows your advice and respects your thoughts.

  1. He fights with you

Yes, that is correct. Fights are not always a sign that the relationship is going through a bad time. If he truly loves you and is invested in your relationship, he will take the time to fight, discuss and find solutions for your relationship. Occasional discussions are a sign that he wants to make things work. You want to find a middle ground where you both can be happy.

  1. He makes sacrifices for your happiness

This is one of the biggest signs that a man loves a woman. If he changes his plans from something he would like to do for something he knows would make you happy, he is showing that he loves and respects you and is willing to always put you first.

  1. He fights for your love

A man in love will take the punches as they come and fight to keep your love. He will weather the coldest winters and the rainiest spring showers just to be with you. A man in love feels lucky to have you in his life and makes it known that losing you is the last thing he would ever want.

  1. He’s proud of your achievements

When a man loves a woman, everything she does feels like his own achievements. It’s almost like the pride a mother feels when their child does something kind or new for the first time. A man in love does not compete with the woman he loves, a man in love wins with the woman he loves.

  1. He thinks you look beautiful even on your worst days

A few weeks ago, one of my coworkers had a cold sore on her top lip. She did not feel comfortable enough to meet her boyfriend that day because she did not want him to see her like that. However, after gathering the opinion of the whole office, the consensus was that if she met up with him with the sore and he did not care, it would be a sign that he was really interested in her for her and not just her looks. When a man really loves a woman, she always looks beautiful no matter what.

  1. He cares about your family and friends because you do

A man in love understands that the people you love are important to you, and if they are happy, you will be too. If he loves you, he will patiently listen as you share detailed stories about your friends’ lives. He will recognize their importance in your life and will offer solutions to their problems with genuine interest.

Source: Famiyshare

 

 

What’s the angle when exes decide to bestie up?

Maturity has been trashed and misinterpreted in several ways, which I myself cannot comprehend. It’s kind of funny that when I decide that the best way to move out of a bad situation and regain my sanity, is always classified as immaturity.

One very unfortunate thing about feelings is that it is quite hard to kill it. Even the so-called maturity can never kill it. But you know what can try? Distance! And a lot of it.

When the reason for separation is on mutual grounds, it is okay to decide to stay friends. Maybe ‘hello’ and ‘how are you?’ But when it goes beyond that, it becomes a problem; you get stuck. You get hurt.

When it gets bad, you run.

Social media is so easy, but as humans we always choose to walk on the path of complication. Instead of rubbing the good life in each other’s faces, use the block button! If seeing stuff, gets your day cranked up, if it makes you feel bad and spend hours on a page with a rush of rage, use the block button!

It’s not immaturity, it’s smart thinking. You don’t need anyone seeing how happy you have become. You don’t need that kind of validation. If you need to show how much you have moved on, or how excessively happy you are, then that happiness is forced. Trust me if you are truly happy, it will be seen. It must not come from you.

Why stay friends with an ex when you are tearing apart inside? Why hang on to someone who probably didn’t see you worthy of a try, who didn’t think you deserved a second chance? Are you thinking a magical friendship will jump-start feelings?

The more you hang in there playing confidant and leaning shoulder, the more disposable you become. The more you try to play it cool, the more you find yourself as a sitting duck. You are pushed to talk about your feelings, because it never left. Then, it ends badly and puts you in a messy situation.

Whenever you become less available, less predictable, when your life can’t be quoted, that’s when you become important.

Don’t get me wrong: I am not saying be enemies, or possibly send a firing squad after an ex because of a broken heart, but keep your distance and heal with time.

You can stay friends after you heal, or better just move along with your life. An extra baggage of worry doesn’t help all because you want to prove your maturity.

A mature person is not one who does things because of approval, or what people will say. A mature person is one with a mind of their own.

 

Source: Bellanaija

Looking for a unique way to show your husband how much you love him? Check out these five need-to-try gestures.

He is your everything, and you are his. That bond between you two grows stronger every day, but you don’t need us to tell you that.

After years or even just months together, finding a unique way to show your husband how much you love him becomes incredibly difficult. No fear! With a little creativity you can easily help your man to feel more loved than ever.

To get you started, here are six gestures you can use to show your husband that he means more than the world to you.

  1. Buy a special treat

Remember, be creative! Ask his family what foods and treats he hasn’t had since he was a kid. Can he go through a box of Mott’s fruit snacks faster than your kids? Buy a box that’s just for him! Or buy a delicious treat neither of you has tried before. Or make it a fun date night by baking an exotic dessert together. Whatever you do, make a memory out of it. Have a big reveal or take pictures. Make even the small, ordinary moments matter in your relationship.

2. Wear that outfit that he likes

Who cares if you wore that shirt and jeans earlier this week? Not him! Ask your husband what outfits he likes to see you wear. Especially if you’re not the girl to reuse outfits often, your husband will love knowing that you’re wearing that outfit just for him.

3. Stop saying “I’m sorry” so much

Do you ever apologize for apologizing? Or say “thank you” to every little thing your husband does? In an effort to appear humble, sometimes we come off as submissive. We don’t feel confident and it shows.

When you act confidently, your husband knows that he’s doing his job. He wants to build you up. He’s your biggest cheerleader (sorry, Mom). You build his confidence when he sees that he’s building yours.

4. Tease him

Along with feeling needed, your man needs to know that you have fun with him. Don’t roll your eyes if he makes a ridiculous joke. Build off of it and keep the joke going! Laughing together is a quick way to show your husband that you’re glad you married him.

Teasing him especially can break down a lot of walls if you two are having an off day. Never be mean, keep the teasing light. He’ll pick it up and start teasing you back. Those are the moments when your man knows he’s got his partner in crime and his best friend right by his side

5. Take him out on a “Treat Yo’ Self” day

Ever seen “Parks and Recreation”? Sometimes you and your husband just need a “Treat Yo’ Self” day. This means a day away from the stresses of daily life – a day to relax and unwind. You both deserve a break from time to time. Taking your husband out for a treat yo’ self day shows him how much you appreciate his hard work. Looking to show you love him? Show him that you appreciate him.

Ask him what his idea of a treat yo’ self day looks like. Spending a day at the spa? You’d be surprised how many guys enjoy relaxing at a spa, with a full day of massages, body scrubs and hot tubs. Yep, sign us up.

No one can make your husband feel loved like you can. He needs you. Not every gesture of love has to be creative or elaborate. Just be you, and don’t stop loving him like crazy.

You and your hubby can spend the entire day at amazing Island Spa and Sauna for only $29 each. There, you’ll get to explore the different themes saunas, rejuvenate the the hot tubs and get pampered with professional massages and scrubs.