Women of Rubies
In self development By

THE PROBLEM WITH FAKE IT TIKE IT

“Fake it ‘til you make it’ is a common phrase in today’s culture, which implies you should just do it—whatever it is—whether you feel like it or not, and let your feelings jump on board later. While this might be a decent work ethic in theory, the question remains—is it ethical? And more importantly, is it Biblical?

The definition of the word “fake” literally means “counterfeit.” Inauthentic. When you invest time into pretending to be someone you’re not, or feeling something you don’t feel, you’re using up any available mental and emotional space that could be used for authentic, genuine connections instead. It doesn’t seem like a smart trade. So, when you “fake it ‘til you make it,” you’re essentially relying on your own confidence and self-esteem to sustain you, rather than your identity in Christ

Called to Be Real, Yet Conforming to His Image

On the other hand, there’s certainly some truth to the concept of acting now, and letting your feelings catch up later. This is an impasse I’ve been praying through for a while and is a topic a friend and I have been discussing at length lately. We both feel the same way—convicted about the whole concept of “fake it ’til you make it.” We’re both genuine people, and the dynamic of faking it—for however good a cause—feels wrong to us, even bordering on lying. Yet, we know there’s a certain tension between doing the right thing, regardless of our feelings, when it comes to obeying the Lord.

We have to be careful, because the other end of this spectrum thinks “Well, I don’t genuinely feel this way about X, so I won’t even try to feel otherwise.” Maybe you don’t “feel like” forgiving someone that hurt you, or “feel like” loving that difficult-to-love person, so you attempt to justify disobedience. That’s edging dangerously close toward the concept of obtaining a license to sin, which Paul specifically forbids in “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?” (Romans 6:1-2 ESV) You’re never excused from obeying the commands of the Bible because you don’t feel like it.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

True Strength Comes from God, Not an Illusion

True Strength Comes from God, Not an Illusion

But the real meaning of the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” isn’t usually in regard to lying, or even directly going against the Word of God—rather, it’s founded in the attempt to force something by our own means and effort. Whether that “something” is fame, status, respect, love, forgiveness, or confidence, it’s steeped in striving in our own power—and that effort will fail us every time. We’re not perfect, and we never will be this side of heaven.

Yet, it goes against our flesh to admit weakness. Our society thrives on the illusion of having it all together, but that’s not reality. It’s a distorted mirror, one that reflects the inner brokenness of our spirit in need of Christ. True strength is found in recognizing the Strong One, and giving Him glory.

“Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-11 ESV)

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Uncover Your True Motivations

Uncover Your True Motivations

When you’re tempted to “fake it ‘til you make it,” what is your heart’s motivation? Are you trying to become more successful? Boost your own confidence? Climb the corporate ladder? Impress a man? If you’re feeling pressure or the urge to fake it, then odds are, you aren’t motivated to grow closer to the Lord and be further sanctified in Him at the same time.

Odds are, instead, you’re acting out of fear, insecurity, or doubt—which is acting out of the flesh. Resist the temptation to do so and walk in the Spirit. The Holy Spirit is authentic, and according to His word, He won’t lead us astray. “If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit” (Galatians 5:25 ESV).

Stay close to Him and His Word, and you will put to death the desire to make much of yourself. “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30 ESV).This command isn’t just to exalt God—it’s also for our good.

As sinful humans, we’re not meant to bear the weight of glory. When we strive to further ourselves, be it at work, in relationships, or even in ministry, we typically end up only hurting ourselves. We get stuck in the same exhausting pattern of effort, failure, defeat, shame… effort, failure, defeat, shame…We fall for the lie that we can “fake it” and eventually “make it” or “mean it” or “feel it.” When that feeling never comes, we blame ourselves, and maybe try a littler harder. But it still won’t work. Why? It’s not supposed to. We’re not meant to be self-reliant.

Photo Credit: Pexels/Daria Shevtsova

Lean into the Blessing of Weakness

Lean into the Blessing of Weakness

We do, however, live in a world that applauds self-sufficiency. I can’t help but think that perhaps some of our struggles—some of the areas in which we feel less than and incapable—are actually gifts from the Lord. “Thorns,” as they were, to remind us of our need for Christ. If we were Super Mom or Wife of the Year or Employee Extraordinaire all the time, we wouldn’t cry out for the Lord to change us. To fix us. To mold us and conform us to His image.

No, instead, we would be relying on ourselves and bragging on our own ability, rather than clinging to and boasting in the Lord alone. Maybe “that Thing” you keep wishing your feelings would change about is a blessing in disguise—a blessing to guide you into deeper communion with the Lord and dependence on the Gospel to overcome what you can’t change.

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9 ESV)

Photo Credit: Pexels/Simon Robben

Truth Shines in a World of Fake

Truth Shines in a World of Fake

Not only do we live in a world that applauds self-sufficiency, we live in a world that celebrates fake—fake images on Instagram, fake body enhancements, fake smiles and fake laughs and fake self-image. Why would we, as believers in Christ, continue the charade? Why not instead shine the true, authentic, genuine love of Christ on those around us, and onto our problems?

Maybe our feelings toward That Thing won’t change overnight, but if they do, we know it’ll be the grace of God conforming us further to His image. We’ll give Him glory for the work He’s done, rather than pat ourselves on the backs for “grinning and bearing it” one more day. We’ll praise Him for His provision and mercy rather than stress-drink or stress-soak in a bubble bath. We’ll give Him the honor where honor is due, with all humility.

So don’t worry about “faking it ‘til you make it,” sweet sister. Being fake isn’t your goal. Making it isn’t your end game. Living freely and authentically in Christ as He finishes what He started in you, is. “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6 ESV).

Betsy_headshotBetsy St. Amant Haddox is the author of fourteen inspirational romance novels and novellas. She resides in north Louisiana with her newlywed hubby, two story-telling young daughters, a collection of Austen novels, and an impressive stash of Pickle Pringles. Betsy has a B.A. in Communications and a deep-rooted passion for seeing women restored in Christ. When she’s not composing her next book or trying to prove unicorns are real, Betsy can usually be found somewhere in the vicinity of a white-chocolate mocha. Look for her latest novel with HarperCollins, LOVE ARRIVES IN PIECES, and POCKET PRAYERS FOR FRIENDS with Max Lucado. Visit her at http://www.betsystamant.com./

Source: I believe

by
Keep Reading
In Rubygirls By

#RUBYGIRLS| “MY GREATEST INSPIRATION IS MY ENVIROMENT”- ARINOLA LAWAL

Arinola Halimat Lawal popularly known as Lymar is a fresh graduate of Political Science from Olabisi Onabanjo University. She served as Student Union Government, Vice-President in 2016/2017 academic session and ran for Presidency in 2017/2018 academic session making her the second female to run for SUG presidency since the inception of OOU. She owns “Lymar’s Beauty Touch (Lbt Makeover).” Her favourite game is Politics.

She shares her “Ruby Girl” story in this interview.

Meet Me

I’m Miss Lawal Halimat Arinola , popularly known as Lymar. Lymar is an easy going person. Studied political science, in her early twenties. I love video games and I write stories. Lymar loves to look good and Lymar is a very ambitious lady. Lymar loves Islam. My favorite game is POLITICS!

 

My Inspiration

My greatest inspiration is my environment, why? I was born in Mushin, Lagos and I noticed that the lifestyle of most of its inhabitants is nothing to write home about. And there is a tag on everyone from Mushin as being a bad or low class person . So, this inspired and borne in me the desire to make a difference and let people know that intelligent, smart, and ambitious people can come from the ghetto.

Biggest fear

My biggest fear is losing my mom or dad. I don’t ever want to lose them. I love them so much.

Fashion item or accessory I can’t leave home without.

Earrings and necklace.

Go back in time to correct a mistake or time travel two years into the future?

I’ll choose to travel two years to the future.

 Best Quote
“He who fears to fall can never rise.”

Ambition to serve as  OOU SUG  VICE PRESIDENT  and it’s impact

It was quite challenging, but like my favorite quote says, “he who fears to fall can never rise.” My political inspiration came from Abike Dabiri and Ngozi Okonjie. They are both women who have made changes in the society. I also want to make a change and impact people’s life positively, and it was said by Thomas Hobbes that, “service to humanity is the best work of life.” Contesting as the SUG president was borne out of the fact that since the inception of Olabisi Onabanjo University, a female has emerged as President of its Student Union Government. I felt the need to break this jinx and make history. Although it wasn’t successful but an attempt was made which is the most important. Being the second female to contest for the SUG presidency is also an honour for me.

Why did you step down in your bid for presidency?
I stepped down because there was a mix up along the line.

What do you do in your darkest moment?

I pray.

Being a fresh  graduate, expectations and career path

I see myself working towards my dreams and becoming great in life. My own philosophy of life is taking risk to become great, and am ready to take risks anytime it comes my way. So, I have no fear and of course, yes I intend taking my political ambitions more serious outside school. Watch out.l

If given the chance to be the President of Nigeria for a day, what will you change?

This is a somewhat complicated question. There are so many important things that needs to be changed about Nigeria. Precisely, I would strengthen our level of security.

In the next five years

In the next five years, I should be living a well deserved life with my beloved future husband, making people happy. And my brand would have expand beyond expectation in a positive way in-Sha Allah.

If you were given the opportunity to address a group of girls five years younger than you, what will be your advice to them?

My advice for them would be not to join the calibre of ladies who “slay with empty brains,” that is in as much as they want to look classy and really good, they should ensure they have what to offer to issues and are goal driven. They should focus more on their dreams and avoid being infamous.

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

CARDI B REVEALS SHE WAS SEXUALLY HARASSED BY A PHOTOGRAPHER IN NEW DOCUMENTARY

Cardi B in a new episode of an upcoming documentary, “Untold Stories of Hip Hop,” which is going to be aired on WE TV will be sharing with her fans her experience with sexual harassment.

The rapper, mum and wife who has always been open to fans about her personal life in the first episode revealed how she was sexually harassed by a photographer during a photo shoot. According to her, she couldn’t believe that she was been harassed by the said photographer.

“I will never forget how I went to shoot for this magazine and the photographer, he was trying to get close to me like, ‘Yeah, you want to get in this magazine?’ Then he pulled his d**k out! I was so f**king mad,”Cardi revealed. “I was just like, ‘This is crazy.’”

It didn’t end there as she revealed that even though she reported the incident to the editor of the magazine, his response was even more shocking.

“I was like, ‘[You’re] f**king bugging. You know what? I’m out,’” she continued. “You know what’s so crazy? I told the magazine owner and he just looked at me like, ‘So? And?’”

A few months ago, Cardi B was dragged on social media after a clip where she bragged about drugging and robbing men surfaced. She, however, went on to apologise for her decision.

 

Credit: pulse.ng

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

KRISTALINA GEORGIEVA NAMED IMF MANAGING DIRECTOR

The International Monetary Fund on Wednesday formally selected Kristalina Georgieva of Bulgaria to be only the second woman ever to lead the 189-member institution.

Georgieva survived a challenge within the European Union from Germany, which backed a Dutch former finance minister

The selection had been all but guaranteed after the global crisis lender said earlier this month that Georgieva, a former World Bank CEO, was the sole candidate.

In acknowledging her selection, Georgieva spoke of tempestuous times for the global economy.

“It is a huge responsibility to be at the helm of the IMF at a time when global economic growth continues to disappoint, trade tensions persist, and debt is at historically high levels,” she told reporters.

“This means also dealing with issues like inequalities, climate risks and rapid technological change.”

Georgieva is to take up her position as managing director on October 1, replacing Christine Lagarde, who is expected to take over the European Central Bank later this year.

She inherits the helm of an institution buffeted by the rise of populism in advanced economies and escalating trade conflicts — the largest of which has been driven by the United States, the fund’s single biggest shareholder.

Her rise perpetuates Europe’s long-standing control over the designation of the fund’s leadership.

Georgieva, who was championed by Paris, overcame a challenge within the divided European Union from Germany, which had backed former Dutch finance minister Jeroen Dijsselbloem.

French Finance Minister Bruno Le Maire tweeted his congratulations on Wednesday, saying the IMF will “thanks to your experience be able to fulfill its role in the world economy.”

Clear path

In a sign that Georgieva was indeed a shoo-in for the position, the fund this month formally lifted its age limit of 65 years for the leadership position, removing an obstacle that would have barred the 66-year-old.

Under an unwritten rule, a European has led the IMF since its creation in the aftermath of World War II while the leader of the fund’s sister organization, the World Bank, has been designated by Washington.

David Malpass, a former US Treasury official who took office earlier this year as president of the World Bank, likewise faced no opposition.

An economist by training, Georgieva was previously Bulgaria’s EU commissioner from 2010 and served as the commission’s vice president for budget and human resources from 2014 to 2016.

In 2016, she was a leading candidate to become UN secretary-general before losing out to former Portuguese premier Antonio Guterres.

Jubilee USA, a faith-based debt-relief organization, hailed Georgieva’s selection.

“Under Georgieva’s leadership, we will see emphasis on gender inequality, environmental issues and the need for more resources to be directed to the developing world,” Eric LeCompte, Jubilee USA’s executive director, said in a statement.

 

 

Credit: AFP, Pulse

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

SPEAKER, NANCY PELOSI ANNOUNCES FORMAL IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY INTO DONALD TRUMP

According to CNN, this comes following reports that Trump allegedly pressured the president of Ukraine to investigate former vice president rival Joe Biden and his son’s business dealings in that country.

“The actions of the Trump presidency revealed the dishonourable fact of the President’s betrayal of his oath of office, betrayal of our national security and betrayal of the integrity of our elections,” Pelosi said in a brief speech in the Capitol.

“Therefore, today, I am announcing the House of Representatives moving forward with an official impeachment inquiry.The President must be held accountable. No one is above the law,” she said.

She also said:

“In 1787, when our Constitution was adopted, Americans gathered…to await news of a gov’t our founders had crafted. They asked Benjamin Franklin, ‘What do we have? A republic or a monarchy?’ He replied, ‘A republic, if you can keep it.’ Our responsibility is to keep it.”

Mrs. Pelosi’s statement came after a meeting with all Democratic House lawmakers to discuss how to handle the Ukraine matter. After the meeting, more Democrats joined the speaker in backing an impeachment inquiry, though some members wanted to see the whistleblower report and learn more about Mr. Trump’s interactions with Mr. Zelensky.

Donald Trump immediately fired back onTwitter saying;

Such an important day at the United Nations, so much work and so much success, and the Democrats purposely had to ruin and demean it with more breaking news Witch Hunt garbage. So bad for our Country!. Pelosi, Nadler, Schiff and, of course, Maxine Waters! Can you believe this?’  ‘They never even saw the transcript of the call. A total Witch Hunt!

Watch the video below:

 

 

Credit: Bella Naija

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

ACTRESS, LILIAN AFEGBAI INVITED TO GIVE HER FIRST SPEECH AT THE UN

Actress, Lilian Afegbai was invited to speak by the African Children Talent Foundation to speak on child education at the ongoing United Nations summit in New York on Wednesday.

I am honored to be speaking at the UN today, on the importance of child education in Africa and the role of the entertainment industry in showcasing talent in African countries……
Thanks to @actdfng for this opportunity.

 

She also shared a video of her speech at the UN.

 

 

 

Credit: fabwoman.ng

by
Keep Reading
In Interviews&profile By

#7QUESTIONS| “I FIND SOLACE IN MY WRITINGS” – SALOME AUGUSTINE

Taraba State born Salome Augustine is  a teacher, a global citizen, and a volunteer. She answers our famous #7questions
1. What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear is the fear of not being able to face my fears. (Feeling too inadequate)
2.  In your darkest moments, what do you do?
In my darkest moments: I cry sometimes. I find solace in my writings and I listen to lots of music. I talk to friends who I know understand me better but above all, I project myself in the future because I know after the tears, the eyes see more clearer.
3.  What is that one thing you would like to change about yourself?
The only thing I would love to change about myself is not letting anyone bully me into accepting what I don’t like/want.
4.  Where do you see yourself five years from now?
 Five years from now I see myself in a UN or AU office as of an African youth envoy making positive change, especially concerning the global goals.
5.  What keeps you going?
The things that keeps me going are the facts that I know personally  that one man can be the change the world needs. And also seeing that my generation are doing much to make the world a better place to live.
6.   What is your stand on feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist?
Even though some people have given feminism another definition entirely, for me I believed feminism is a great movement. Going by the historical events that dated back from 19th century till date. I’m glad that feminism promote the equality of women and of girl child.
Yes I considered myself a feminist.
7.  What keeps you up at night?
What keeps me up at night most times are my thoughts. Sometimes mood swings.
***Want to be featured on our #7questions? Send a mail to info@womenofrubies.com
by
Keep Reading
In self development By

10 THINGS EVERY HUSBAND SHOULD BE DOING FOR HIS WIFE

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25 NIV).

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is hard work. It takes deliberate effort to follow through on the vows we make on our wedding day. No matter how well prepared we think we are for marriage, we aren’t—not until we begin to walk those vows out. Whether you’ve said, “I do,” recently or you’ve been together for decades, you can count on one thing—your lives will be full of for better or for worse.

So how can you keep your marriage strong in the better and build it back up in the worse? Love your wife more than yourself. Push your needs aside and instead of asking what she can do for you, ask, “What can I do for her?” The list I’m offering next is only meant as a springboard to answer that question. God knows your wife and your marriage. He put you together, and He wants you to stay together. Ask Him to reveal her heart, then pay attention to what He shows you.

1. Touch Her

Most women crave affection outside of the bedroom. In the beginning of your marriage, you probably didn’t even have to think about holding her hand or rubbing her back. The longer we’re married, the more absent our touches can become. Jobs, kids, and financial stress can take priority over focusing on one another.

But even though life gets busy, her need to feel loved by you hasn’t changed. Look at it from her side—the day you married her, she became off-limits to every other man. Any affection she receives only comes from you. That’s a privilege, not a chore. She’s yours to take care of and love. You get her in ways no one else can have her. Don’t withhold something she needs; make touching her a priority. An unexpected hug can be worth a thousand I-love-you’s. Try it and see.

2. Show Her Respect

When you first met, I’ll bet you asked her where she wanted to eat, what movie she wanted to see, or what she thought about her future. When you knew she was the one, you probably saw her as a partner, an equal, and someone to talk things out with. Her opinions mattered.

Now that you’re married, remember that. Keep listening to her, and value her input. Consider her needs even if you don’t understand them. Remember, she’s just as invested in the life you’re making together as you are, and she wants to feel as if she’s standing by your side instead of walking behind you.

3. Carry Her Burden

We get married for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that we don’t want to go through life alone. There’s something appealing about that picture of growing old and gray together. Part of that appeal comes from having someone else to shoulder your burden.

When life weighs her down, step in and bear some of her load. Give her a chance to rest—emotionally, physically, spiritually. Be there for her, and when it comes time to return the favor, she’ll be strong enough to be there for you.

  • 1. Touch Her

    4. Speak Her Love Language

    It’s true that women and men show and receive love differently, but I don’t think it’s about gender as much as it’s about personality. Not everyone speaks the same love language. Chances are, the things that make you feel appreciated and wanted won’t always make her feel the same. When you cart the kids around to give her a break, your heart’s in the right place. But if she really needed you to bring her flowers to feel loved, you’re going to go through a lot of effort to show your devotion and be left disappointed.

    Stop, drop, and roll. Stop and pay attention to what makes her feel cherished. What makes her feel like she’s your number one. Drop what you’re doing if it doesn’t match up. Then roll with what you discover. If you’re not an observant guy, cheat. Ask her what she needs. Yes, she may be irritated that you couldn’t figure it out, but she’ll also be touched that you cared enough to try.

    5. Let Her Be Herself

    You fell in love with your wife for who she was, whether you met her in high school, college, or after. Maybe what first made you fall was her sense of humor, the way she wore her hair, or how you felt when she smiled at you. And you never wanted her to change.

    But people do change. Life brings experiences and circumstances along with responsibilities. And we have to adapt, good or bad. Plus, we want to grow as people, and God is pruning us to be our best. Encourage her to pursue new interests, make new friends, and change her style. Love who she was yesterday and be excited for who she’s going to become tomorrow.

    6. Give Her Space

    When you get married, you naturally spend most of your time together. You live in the same place, have a lot of the same friends, and go to the same events. But even though you’ve merged your lives together, you both still need space. Give her time to be alone, but also give her the space to do the things that are important to her, even if they don’t interest you. If she feels good about who she is alone, she’ll be able to be a stronger partner when you’re together.

    7. Treat Her Better Than a Stranger

    Test yourself this week. Watch how you interact with people you’ve just met. Are you polite? Considerate? Do you answer questions patiently? Listen to their opinions? Check yourself when you’re angry? Now compare that behavior with how you act around your wife.

    It’s been said that we treat the people closest to us the worst—because we feel safe in our relationships to express how we really feel. Expressing ourselves is fine, but we have a choice in the way we go about it. Why not take the gift you give strangers just for being strangers and offer it to your wife?

    8. Expend the Effort

    Whoever tells you marriage is an equal partnership hasn’t been married long—or ever. Not only don’t the numbers come in at 100/100, but they rarely come in at 50/50. Marriage, like life, tends to move in uneven cycles. It’s not fair; it will never be fair. But the bottom line is that you expend the effort it takes to keep the relationship going or you don’t. Your marriage works or it doesn’t. It’s good, bad, or neutral. That’s where your control lies—in what you choose to do.

    If you love your wife, don’t be satisfied with mediocre. You didn’t walk down the aisle thinking you’d be roommates who barely speak. You wanted better—go after it. Even if she’s given up, chances are once she sees you putting her and your marriage first, she’ll jump in and do the same.

    9. Ask Questions

    At first, learning about her feels easy. You want to know her favorite food, the movie she’s seen the most, what she wants to do with her life. Getting married opens a new stream of questions as you learn to live together and make life plans.

    Eventually the newness wears off and the questions taper. You’re worried about what you need to accomplish at work, checking things of your honey-do list, meeting your financial obligations, and your world isn’t in sync with hers the way it used to be. Stop letting her drift away and start asking her questions. Show her you care about what’s going on when she’s not with you.

    10. Be Still and Pray

    There’s a time to ask questions. And then there’s a time to just be quiet and be there. You can’t always fix everything, even if you want to. But you’re not out of options when it feels like everything’s falling apart.

    Don’t beg her to tell you what she needs. Pray.

    Don’t argue over things that will destroy your marriage. Pray.

    Don’t push your ideas on her. Pray.

    And don’t give up. Ever. Just pray.

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

A PRAYER FOR WHEN YOUR HEART IS HEAVY

Sometimes, when burdens overwhelm us or times feel hard, we just need to be reminded that we’re not alone in this journey. Maybe the struggle has seemed too hard for a long while now. Or you feel like you’re just stuck, and tired of trying to keep moving forward.

Maybe it’s difficult to see what God is doing, or how He could ever use this situation for good in life. It may be that you’ve found yourself right in the middle of the desert, in the fire, in the flood of hard times; and though you know God is with you, it’s hard to even feel His Presence anymore. Other times, our hearts are so heavy for those we love, and we don’t even know what to do or what to pray. Fear and worry can be tough enemies to battle. They seek to chase peace far away, leaving the uncertainties of the future looming over us, dark and big.

God’s words give strength, purpose, and grace in whatever we might be facing. They alone can bring inner calm and security, that nothing else in the world can give.

A Prayer for When Your Heart Is Heavy:

Dear God,

Thank you for reminding us in your Word that we do not face the storms alone, but you are always with us. Whispering calm. Speaking peace. Bringing rest to our souls.

This world feels like a hard place some days; it’s hurting and broken. We pray for those who are facing deep losses right now, for the times that grief has covered us all. Please comfort us through the painful seasons, surrounding those we love with your huge peace and the reassuring presence of your Holy Spirit

We confess our need for you. We ask you to forgive us for trying to figure everything out on our own, for not trusting that you are more than able and powerful to work on our behalf. Forgive us for picking back up what we already determined to lay down at your feet. Give us the ability to trust you more, give us hearts that find rest in your presence. Give us the wisdom to seek peace and pursue it, remembering that it’s only to be found in you.

Thank you for the promise that your yoke is easy, and your burden is light. Thank you that you care for us so incredibly and that the peace of your loving presence guards and protects our hearts and minds in you. Thank you that we never have to walk in fear or live constantly in these overwhelmed cycles of worry and stress.

Help us to keep our eyes on you, and to see when another soul around us needs to be encouraged. Help us to be faithful to carry one another’s burdens, remembering that we’re all in this life together, and there’s such great power in unity and love.

Thank you that you are the soul refresher, the One who brings us rest, lifts our burdens, and gives peace. Thank you that you renew our strength and encourage our weary hearts. Thank you that you know our needs before we even ask you, that you know our thoughts, and all that troubles us today.

We ask you to please bring us into seasons of refreshing from your Spirit, that you would draw us closer to your presence as we seek to follow you. Help us to remember what’s most important in this world, and what’s not. Teach us to hold on to what matters, and to better know how to let go of what doesn’t.

Thank you for the gift of Jesus and the freedom He brings. For no matter what we go through in this life, or what we’re up against today, we never have to be shaken. You hold us secure, and we’re kept safe with you.

We love you Lord. We need you today, to once again lift from our hearts this heaviness and constant burden, as only you are able. And help us to find rest and hope in you again.

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

10 WAYS TO BE A HAPPIER MOM

When your baby is catapulted into the world, you can’t help but feel joy. You echo the words of Leah in Genesis 30:13, “How happy I am! The women will call me happy.” But those first moments of bliss are quickly tried by crying infants, sleep deprivation, and all sorts of challenges.

According to a Barna study, eight in ten moms feel overwhelmed by stress. Only nineteen percent of moms report being extremely satisfied as a mom. You know if you hang your happiness on your children’s behavior, you may have to wait a while before you can break into a wide grin.

But there is good news. If you can tap into the joy that comes from obeying Christ and being in his presence, you can be a happier mom no matter what is happening. Happiness (pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness) is actually something you can increase in your life by your thoughts and actions. Here are ten ways to help you be a happier mom:

1. Discipline With Action, Not Tone

You’ve probably yelled this before: “How many times do I have to tell you…” Most likely, you were the one at your wits end while your child was unmoved. Instead of using long explanations or threatening tones, use actions and consequences that will stop your child in his/her tracks. For instance, when my daughter dawdled at breakfast (again), we simply took the food away and served it for lunch. No fanfare or emotion necessary.

2. Drop the Guilt

Don’t fall prey to the victim mentality that makes you feel like a loser all the time. Notice your negative self-talk and seek to turn your bad guilt into good guilt. Bad guilt says “I’m no good” but good guilt says “I did something wrong and I need to fix it.” Focus on the things you can fix and stop expecting perfection from yourself. Failure is an event; not a person.

3. Do Less for Your Kids

Are you still packing lunches for your sixth grader? It’s time to stop. Don’t do for your children the things they can do for themselves. Whether it’s tying shoelaces, homework, or washing dishes, we need to give our kids increased responsibilities as they get older. It will not only make you saner as a mom, it will prepare your children well for independence and adulthood.

4. Pray with Other Moms

The Lord God Almighty stands ready to hear and answer your requests for your children. Make prayer a regular part of your mom life. To add accountability and power, invite another mom to pray with you weekly for your children. You can visit www.MomsinPrayer.org to see if there is a group of moms praying for your child’s school.

5. Focus on the Yes

Motherhood can feel like a big NO. “No, don’t touch that.” “No, I can’t go. I have to watch my kids.” Instead of putting the emphasis on no, find places to emphasize the yes in motherhood like, “Yes, let’s have some fun.” “Yes, let’s do that service project as a family.” “Yes, let’s save up for a family vacation.”

6. Listen to Your Body

Remember what you hear over and over on flights? In case of emergency, place your own oxygen mask on first, and then help your children. We often sacrifice our health because we’re busy with our mom duties. Make sure you listen and respond to your body. Get a good night’s sleep, exercise regularly, and eat healthy foods that will act as fuel.

7. Streamline Your Family Activities

Is your schedule running you ragged? Do you regret saying yes to soccer, baseball, piano, and gymnastics? At your next opportunity, choose less. Perhaps have your children do the same activity to lessen your drive time.

8. Have a Game Plan for Screen Time

The average child age 8-18 spends more than seven hours per day looking at screens. If you don’t have a game plan, it’s just too easy for free time to get gobbled up by mindless screen time. Use technology to bring you together as a family with activities like Friday night movie night and Skyping family members.

9. Seek a Mentor

If you want to learn how to cook, you learn from a cook. In the same way, if you want to learn to be a happier mom, you find a happy mom. Take this mom out to coffee and ask her to share her secrets. It’s extremely helpful to have a trusted advisor who can pray with you and answer questions about what’s happening with your kids.

10. Remember Your Blessing

In the day to day race of motherhood, we can forget how fortunate we are to have kids in the first place. Psalm 113:9 says, “He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children.” Imagine what your life would be like if your kids were taken away. Be grateful for your children each day.

 

Which of these ten ideas resonates with you the most?

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife. She has been a guest on the Today Show, Family Life Today, The 700 Club and Turning Point with David Jeremiah. Arlene and her husband James live in San Diego with their three children. Visit Arlene’s website at www.ArlenePellicane.com.

by
Keep Reading

©2025. WomenofRubies. All Rights Reserved.