Women of Rubies
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19-Year Old Nigerian Black Lives Matter Activist Sexually Assaulted and Murdered In Florida

A 19-year old American with Nigerian roots, Oluwatoyin ‘Toyin’ Salau, has been found dead after she went missing last week.

Toyin, just 19-years of age, was an ardent Black Lives Matter activist who had been vocal during the recent protests stemming from the murder of George Floyd by a white police officer.

She had revealed on social media that she had recently been sexually assaulted.

Not long after, she went missing and this morning, she became a trending topic on Twitter with many mourning her passing.

Her body had reportedly been found over the weekend in Tallahassee, the state capital of the U.S state of Florida.

Tallahassee police have revealed they are investigating a double homicide and have arrested one suspect.

Twitter has descended into mourning with news of her death – another black person brutally killed in the United States under mysterious circumstances.

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Adejoke: There’s Power When Women Stand Together

No one understands a woman like a woman! This is why we women have to stand together and stop fighting ourselves. It is often said that women are their own worst enemies, unfortunately I believe this is true.
This is an irony to me because we women have gone through and are still going through similar experiences, so you will think we would be able to identify with our shortcomings, our struggles and with each other. But no, the opposite is the case.

A woman has been abused but instead of identifying with her, sympathizing and helping her go through it, her biggest critiques are women. Women will ask her what she wore or why she was even there in the first place.
A successful woman is being celebrated, but instead of rejoicing with her and give her accolades; fellow women will say she must have slept around to be able to have all she has… especially if she’s within a certain age bracket.
A woman who’s still expecting the fruit of the womb is being persecuted by a fellow woman – sister in law or mother in law, worse still by women who may have had to wait for a child.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying no one can be corrected or that women shouldn’t be objective, I am simply saying we should identify more with our sisters. As women, we have and are still going through similar situations.
We know what it feels like to be treated like second hand simply because we are female.
Most of us have been sexually exploited and abused.

Most of us have being termed good for nothing, our achievements discarded simply because of a marital status.
Why can’t we use our struggles to come together as one instead of fighting each other?
Also I have to ask, why most women are wicked to helps, treating them like rags especially a female help.
Or why a woman uses everything within her power to destroy the home of another woman, so that she can come in?
These are some of the things I can’t just understand.

Why do women hate each other?
I personally believe it’s because we see each other as rivals and competitors, fighting for the “prize”; the man, in other to win him.

We are envious of each other even to the silliest of things, clothes, hair, shoe, bag etc.
I am NOT a SAINT! I am not exonerated of these things; I have done some of the things I am presently talking about.
But then I had to ask myself why we hate each other? Why?

In offices, in church, you will be on your own dressing according to your pocket and taste, but another woman is having sleepless nights, because she wants to outdo you in the fashion department!
The funniest part is you don’t even take notice. But just walk by, and a woman will look at you from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet so she can size you up. Whenever you show up, you are assessed.
You won’t even know you’ve made enemies who just hate you simply because you showed up!
I think that it is rather unfortunate.

I believe with the whole of my heart that there’s something powerful about women coming together. If we identify with one another, there’s no stopping what we can achieve.
In the words of Phylicia Rashad, “Anytime women come together, with a collective intention, magic happens.
It is my opinion that the devil knows the power of united women that he’s done all within his power to make us enemies.

The truth is a woman is incredibly powerful, but we don’t just know how powerful we are. No organization, church, society, can grow or be productive without women. A woman especially an educated one; builds a nation.
You’ve heard or probably even said it yourself, “I can’t be best friends with a lady” or “guys make better friends, even I too once said it.”

But I have come to realize from my own personal experience that it is near impossible or difficult to just be friends with a guy. More often than not, one party starts catching feelings. Well, that’s a topic for another day.
It is possible for women to support each other, encourage each other to be all they can be without being envious or jealous or fight over a man.

Permit me to use this example, Mary the mother of Jesus and Elizabeth her cousin.
Both women were pregnant with mighty men, but instead of Elizabeth being envious of Mary or Elizabeth saying who’s this small girl dragging pregnancy with me, Elizabeth recognized her place and recognized Mary as the mother of the Lord.

Elizabeth’s son was to prepare the way for Mary’s son; my gift may just be what you need to birth yours or to fulfil your dream.

Let’s stop this senseless silent war and see each other as channels of blessing to one another.
Dear older woman, you’ve been through what I am going through, please don’t despise me when I call for help, teach me in love using your experience. I beg you not to be envious of my youth; you can right your wrongs by not letting me make them.

Dear younger woman, please let’s slay together. There’s space for all of us.

Dear woman, I love you! You’re incredibly beautiful and powerful, please can we be friends?

About Adejoke
Adejoke was born in Zaria, Kaduna State (which she absolutely has no recollection of) and graduated from the University of Abuja with a BSc in Accounting at Gwagwalada (which she can’t believe she still lives in).
She started writing because her life was boring and had no one to talk to, so she thought, why don’t I talk with the whole world?
Her blog www.memoirsofagreatlady.com was born after she discovered a passion for writing, and that writing is therapeutic as she now lives a joyful purposeful life.
If you visit the blog, its description says, a lifestyle blog created with a purpose to impact and inspire people to live their best life (helping people to have sense) which sums up what she loves to do.
When she is not writing, she is baking (she makes the best chocolate cake) or disturbing her sister who she loves to pieces.

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#MondayMotivation: 7 Important Questions To Ask Yourself When Making Difficult Career Decisions

Your 20s are an important time. We’re told the personal and professional choices you make during this decade set the foundation of your adult life. A good problem you’re likely to face is which job to take: The one that promises security or the one that promises experience? The higher-paid one or the one with fast growth opportunity.

These choices can’t be made with a simple pros and cons list. You can find yourself longing for a crystal ball that can make the decision for you. Here are seven major questions to ask yourself.

1. Does it motivate you to learn something new?

We’ve long been instructed to specialize in college degrees, career trajectories, company ladders, etc. But specializing early at the expense of cultivating experience and contextual knowledge can limit your potential and stunt your self-discovery.

A familiar, comfortable job in a young career can be insidious. If an option you’re weighing will challenge you to stretch your concept of career, your long-term professional benefit will likely outweigh the short-term risk.

2. Does it push you to learn something about yourself?

Relative to risk, there’s usually no better time for self-discovery through work than your 20s. When considering a new opportunity, give more weight to the exploration and development possibilities of the role, rather than the job title or immediate responsibilities. Your early career experiences should give you room to grow and try something new.

My intended path was within the entertainment industry. I may never have discovered my passion for healthcare, technology and analysis without an openness to explore it.

Remain open to opportunities outside your original vision of career. You may have a hidden talent or interest that’s waiting to be discovered.

3. Does it scare you, just a little?

We grow most from those moments and experiences that force us to stretch beyond our limits. Be unapologetically ambitious, even when logic and security suggest an alternate route.

4. Does it scare your friends and family, just a little more?

Naturally, those who love you most want to protect you. Because of that instinct, they may steer you towards a safe choice to limit your risk of loss or failure. Although their intentions are pure, their influence can be stifling.

If your near-and-dear are directing you away from an opportunity, consider the loving biases that they carry. Many times, the best decisions for our personal and professional growth are difficult for others to understand.

5. Does it change the way you evaluate success?

If you only measure your success by 401k balances, promotions and bonuses, you’ve mistakenly focused your attention on byproducts instead of the personal and professional experience along the way.

Give yourself opportunities to find what’s meaningful to you, and give yourself room to grow your ideas of success.

6. Will it surround you with passionate people?

Passion is contagious and powerful. Surround yourself with energy and innovation, and you’ll adopt the same vigor.

That fervent energy transforms our world every day. If you’re deliberating what’s best for you, consider the people who will teach you when you get there.

7. Does it excite you to talk about it?

Notice if you can’t stop rambling to your friends and family about the opportunity in question. It means something! Enthusiasm and buy-in is critical in an opportunity’s potential success.

Tally the number of times the opportunity organically comes to mind. Pay attention to what you’re thinking. Is it the experience? Earnings potential? Outcomes? There’s no wrong answer, but understanding your own drivers and interests will give you insight into what’s most important about your potential next step.

With every decision, embrace the privilege that you can chart your own path. But also allow that path early in your career to help shape you, too.

 Credits: Cash Forshee
 
                talentculture.com
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19 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself

Hey you! Did you know that you’re very special? There is no other person in this world like you. You deserve to be loved not only by those around you but by the most important person in your life — YOU. Practicing self-love can be challenging for many of us, especially in times when we face serious challenges. It’s not about being self-absorbed or narcissistic, it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our happiness. We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines.

So do yourself a favor, take a deep breath, give yourself a little hug and start practicing the following:

1.Start each day by telling yourself something really positive. How well you handled a situation, how lovely you look today. Anything that will make you smile.

2.Fill your body with food and drink that nourishes it and makes it thrive.

3.Move that gorgeous body of yours every single day and learn to love the skin you’re in. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

4. Don’t believe everything you think. There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.

5. Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you. Let them remind you just how amazing you are.

6. Stop the comparisons. There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.

7. End all toxic relationships. Seriously. Anyone who makes you feel anything less than amazing doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life.

8. Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved.

9. Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before.

10. Embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you special.

11. Realize that beauty cannot be defined. It is what you see it as. Don’t let any of those Photoshopped magazines make you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Even those models don’t look like that in real life.

12. Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, clear your mind of your thoughts and just be.

13. Follow your passion. You know that thing that gets you so excited but scares you at the same time. The thing you really want to do but have convinced yourself it won’t work. You should go do that!

14. Be patient but persistent. Self-love is ever evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times.

15. Be mindful of what you think, feel and want. Live your life in ways that truly reflect this.

16. Treat others with love and respect. It makes us feel better about ourselves when we treat others the way we hope to be treated. That doesn’t mean everybody will always repay the favor, but that’s their problem not yours.

17. Find something to be grateful for every day. It’s inevitable that you are going to have your down days. This is fine and very human of you. It’s especially important on these days to find at least one thing you are grateful for as it helps to shift your mind and energy around what’s going on.

18. Reach out to family, friends, healers, whomever you need to help you through the tough times. You are not expected to go through them alone.

19. Forgive yourself. You know that thing you did one time (or maybe a few times) that made you feel bad, embarrassed, ashamed? It’s time to let that go. You can’t change the things you have done in the past but you can control your future. Look at it as a learning experience and believe in your ability to change.

Source: Lifehack

Pic credit: Bing

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Nkiru Olumide-Ojo: ‘Including Men In Gender Conversations Helps Greatly’

Nkiru Olumide-Ojo holds two decades of experience in Strategic Marketing and Corporate Communications Management, looking after multinational and national brands in Nigeria and some African Markets. Her work experience spans across various sectors including Financial Services, Aviation, Telecommunication and the Oil and Gas sectors.

An expert Reputation and Crisis Communication Manager, she currently works as Regional Head of Marketing and Communications at a financial services Group in South Africa. Nkiru holds board level experience having sat on the boards of Stanbic IBTC Trustees Limited and CMC Connect Burtson Masteller.

A frequent Conference Speaker, she was the immediate past keynote speaker at Google Nigeria’s 2019 International Women’s Day celebration. London Advertising Week, Africa Public Relations Conference, and Standard Bank’s Blue Heels Women’s Programme are some of the conferences where she has spoken.

Over the past couple of years, Nkiru has had several recognitions such as Leading Woman in Marketing and Communication in 2016, Marketing Personality of the Year 2017, NIPRO’s top 40 under 40(2008), Brand Journalist of Nigeria’s Award for Leading Marketing Personality amongst others. She holds a Master’s degree in Strategic Marketing Management from the Kingston University Surrey, London, alongside a Post-graduate Diploma in Management/first degree in Biological Sciences, and many professional trainings.

Nkiru is the published author of the Pressure Cooker- Lessons From A Woman at Work. A female enthusiast, Nkiru is keen to see women develop leadership skills and is the Founder of a female social development organization, the LightHouse Women’s Network. Nkiru is married to Olumide and they have two children.

In this interview with GuardianWoman, she sheds more light on the activities of the LightHouse Women’s Network as the organisation holds its annual conference today in Lagos.

You were once described as a person of many parts – tell us what that means?
I’m not entirely sure what the person who was describing meant, but I do strongly believe that everyone has the ability to express themselves in more than one way if they choose to and I do so -wholeheartedly. I’m a wife and Mum. I run a social development agency focused on women, I’m an author/writer and I work at an organisation doing marketing and corporate communications.

Tell us about the LightHouse Women’s Network and why you set it up?
The Lighthouse Network was an accidental baby, one that I’m delighted happened.

As an outcome of my personal frustration trying to be the best mum/wife/daughter/daughter-in-law, church worker/friend and more- I was struggling with many bottles dropping- I kept putting my hands up to ask questions at every female gathering I attended- I felt the answers I was getting weren’t assuaging my needs and so I started expressing myself via a column called the PressureCooker.

The outcome of this column was tonnes of questions coming through- I didn’t have the answers (as I was obviously still searching myself). But I realised I could find the answers within my network- I started bringing women within my network together annually to answer these questions- it’s been six years now and we have made it more formal with various signature activities impacting the working woman and the girl getting ready for the workplace.

Give us a peep into the Network and some examples that have worked for some women that others can learn from
We are five principal players with five diverse board of trustees, cutting across three generations- Yomi Badejo-Okusanya, Bunmi Oke, Olumide Ojo, Eniola Edun and Temitope Jemerigbe. Because impact measurement is important to us, we only embark on specific projects and taking on numbers we can deliver on. We have three signature activities- our “Getting the Girl Ready for the Workplace” project – which we carry out in polytechnics and other higher institutions. The CEO Roundtable where we have senior executives glean directly from a CEO and our Standard Mentors Connect Project. For all of these, we follow through to gauge progress participants have made and our virtual group helps foster continuity. We are so far from where we’d love to be, but we are making progress.

You mentioned the column you kept which you said became a book, tell us some of your personal struggles that you shared in your book
I talked about the maternal wall- and what I call mummy guilt- the one you feel as a working mum who is away from her children. I talked about why sponsorship is so important for women, I talked about the boy’s club, my faith, the error of not managing your boss well and the one dearest to my heart, lessons from failing- specifically about not making moments of failure monuments of failure, rather to learn from it.

What informed the analogy of your book with the kitchen pressure cooker? 
Definitely the pressure I was feeling as a working young mum- I consistently felt like I was being boiled in a pressure cooker!

Do you think it would be proper for employers to give working mothers some concession at work?
I do think so for it would improve productivity- and I’m not talking flexible work hours alone, I mean things like breastfeeding room or even crèches, if the company can afford it. The physiology of breastfeeding is such that the mom does need to express breast-milk during work hours and you’d agree the bathroom isn’t the best place. It would be brilliant of the organisation if it can include a crèche to help both get the mothers’ hearts at rest and get more out of them.

As workplace readiness is something the Lighthouse focuses on, what do you think are the top three skills required for the girl to succeed in the workplace?
. Communication – The ability to understand what is being said as well express yourself clearly, confidently-
. Thinking/Problem Solving Skills – the real reason corporates are set up is to solve problems- you’ve got to have the ability to think up solutions. Having the right attitude- completely non-negotiable, as this is a basis for learning and growing within organisations

What in your view precludes women from advancing in the workplace?
I believe sometimes we stand in our own way- I mean our beliefs- that some roles are unattainable and therefore we limit our ambitions. I can assure you if we took a poll of 100 girls working in an office, only 10 per cent are aiming to be CEOs of that organisation- the rest don’t quite care.

The maternal wall also manifests itself in ways that makes the career trajectory a bit uneven as we do take off maternal time. I think in some industries-the boys club still exists- a club where males think some roles are exclusively theirs.

How do you think we can curb the above?
I think by instituting policies in this regard. Some sectors have strong policies requiring businesses to achieve gender-balance in management and this same policy has ensured balanced representation in some countries. Rwandan government has a balanced representation of both genders, with young females holding very interesting positions. Most importantly, I think including men in the gender conversations helps greatly which is why our signature event this year is themed: Views From The Other Side and we are having four generations of men discuss the woman and the workplace. It is our view that only when they know what the issues are can they support wholly.

How have you been able to maintain the work-life balance?
I have a work like integration approach- where I have structured work into my life. Structured because it does have a specific time allocated to it all day round, similar to how I have structured the many other important things in my life- each then takes its order of priority- faith, family, work, socials, but then again there is an art required in the blending. Lastly, I think the frustration comes from trying to do all at once! Some things will have to take a backseat at different times.

As an example, my social life took a back- seat once when I had a fast-paced work, really because I had to balance other facets- I made up for that way later.

What’s your advice for women who are still struggling with it?
Having a good home support system, a supportive spouse. I meet working girls everyday, who have what I think to be the strangest hang-ups such as, “I like to do everything in my house myself,” “I don’t like my in-laws.” I think both are strange hang-ups if you work because you can reasonably outsource the first in order to spend more time on another equally important thing or the latter. Your in-laws can serve as a support system for your children rather than strangers.

With your busy career, how helpful and supportive has your husband been?
My husband works as well and has females in his team, added to myself, his sisters, he does have full “consumer insights” and is fully supportive of the working woman.
Mention some of your favourite female authors.

Brene Brown is my latest hang-up, I’m currently lapping up every book she has written and can’t get enough of her- her authenticity in embracing notions people typically wouldn’t want to talk about completely inspires me-vulnerability and shame. A few of the obvious -Chimamanda Adichie, Sefi Attah. Their way with words and the ability to keep you suspended from reality days after you have dropped their books. Otherwise, I love my good old John Maxwell, Norman Vincent Peale- I always have their books around me.

How has mentorship helped to shape your career and lifestyle and how are you helping to mentor younger women?
I actually am a product of many mentors/teachers- bosses, pastors, leaders who have been instrumental to my all round growth – my husband Olumide Ojo, Ephraim Osunde, Funke Felix-Adejumo, Yomi Badejo-Okusanya are the ones for whom I have pulled out a seat to be directly mentored, otherwise, I have been mentored informally by many, especially my bosses and pastors. In return I do have structured mentees assigned from the Lighthouse Women’s Mentors Connect.

Who are the women you admire and why?
Funke Felix-Adejumo-for her uncanny wisdom, Sola David-Borha for her many accomplishments delivered with amazing humility, Mo Abudu, for being many things having made a detour from a corporate life.
Arianna Huffington for being many things after Huffington post. Then a few of the obvious- Oprah for making giving so intrinsic to success. I could go on.

Aside writing what are your other interests?
Poetry (sorry I know you said asides writing) but poetry is a new exploratory ground for me and I’m embracing it. I love comedy festivals and stage performances- I love a good laugh. I’m also exploring a few outdoor sports, I haven’t liked any as yet, but then again, I haven’t been consistent- I’d be a bit more confident to speak around these shortly.

Tell us about growing up, family life. 
I grew up in a small family in Port Harcourt.
My dad worked in Total and Brossette before he set up his own business, my mum worked in First Bank before resigning to look after the home. My father it was who instilled values for the workplace in us. Till his death, his first question during his daily call was “ I hope you got to work on time?’’
We grew up in an area called D/Line, with neighbours as close friends, a children’s club on our street and an Anglican church nearby. I loved PHC, with our sharp wits and mouth. I often say PHC imbues you with some natural confidence.

What’s your personal style and what are your favourite colours? 
Classic- I’m not given to trends, as I’d like that my look remains timeless. I love colours, I find black so boring and constantly needing to be “brightened up”.

I therefore only wear it to work, once it isn’t a work function or environment- I express myself in bold colours.

What’s relaxation for you? 
Sleeping.

Your life’s mantra? 
You don’t walk so lightly that you don’t leave footprints- make sure your footprints make a good impact.

Advise for younger women trying to climb the career ladder 
You can. There’s also a God factor- he causes “time and chance to happen.’’ You should pray to “be lucky.”

Source: Marie Diamond for Guardian Woman

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Black Doctor Becomes First To Cure Cancer In Mice

Dr. Hadiyah-Nicole Green just became the first person to successfully cure cancer in mice using nanoparticle technology, Black Enterprise reports. 

Green was first inspired to pursue cancer treatment efforts after watching her aunt and uncle battle with the disease. Her aunt, Ora Lee, eventually lost her battle with cancer and her uncle, General Lee Smith, struggled with the side effects of chemotherapy. Seeing their experiences firsthand motivated Green to find a cure. 

Her work began as an undergraduate student at Alabama A&M University where she studied physics and optics. She went on to pursue her masters in physics from the University of Alabama at Birmingham and eventually began working at the Comprehensive Cancer Center and the Department of Pathology. 

Her new cancer treatment uses laser-activated nanoparticles that were found to successfully cure cancer within 15 days in mice. The treatment doesn’t require chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery and is a revolutionary breakthrough in the field. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs has awarded Green with a $1.1 million grant to continue her cancer treatment research.

Breakthroughs in cancer treatment are critical to ultimately curing the disease. With every new treatment, the life expectancy for cancer patients goes up. While people are living longer after a cancer diagnosis, studies still show that roughly 1600 people will die from cancer each day in 2020 in the United States. 

Thankfully, because of the work that Dr. Green is doing, we are one step closer to a cure! 

Thank you!

Source:Becauseofthemwecan.com

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Five Style Tips To Help You Conceal Tummy Bulge

Fashion is amazing and not only can it be used to enhance, it can also be used to hide. Women have lots of areas that they do not like or do not feel comfortable showing off but thankfully, there is a style to combat every body worry.

Lots of women struggle with the battle of the bulge. You could be slim everywhere else and still have to deal with a problem tummy.

Here’s how to hide that tummy whilst giving you a chance to accentuate your favourite features be it your arms or your legs.

These 5 styles will take you from self-conscious to confident in no time.

1. Loose Tops

This is probably the first and easiest to remember. I mean, who doesn’t know that tight outfits don’t always flatter our body shapes? Next time, when you are in a shopping spree, move away from those figure-hugging tops to their loose and baggy counterparts. The material will not be stretched over your body, it will be loose, airy and most importantly, hide all the bits you don’t want people to see.

2. Empire Line

An empire-waist doesn’t suit all types of figures but when it comes to covering a big belly, it works wonders. You can find yourself an empire line mini dress, maxi dress or top and whichever one you choose, you are guaranteed a flattering silhouette which skims the bust and flares out around the tummy/hips. It draws attention towards the thinnest as well as the sexiest parts of your body. Who can argue with that?!

3. A-Line Dress

 

An A-line dress can hide the round tummy perfectly and is perfect for work wear or to wear to a formal occassion. Cotton a-line dresses make for cute summer dresses too.

4. Peplum Tops

One of the top styles that you should definitely choose for concealing your tummy fat is the peplum top style. The fit near the bust and the flare right near the waist line diverts the attention away from the tummy and also gives room for the waist to shine. It creates the illusion of a cinched in waist and gives you some much needed shape.

5. Upper Body Detailing

 

Whenever you pick a top or blouse, take a close look at its detailing. Outfits with details around the upper section of the body can play a huge role in disguising a bulging tummy. You choose ruffles or heavy embroidery at the neckline, shoulders or even on the whole front section. It adds a bit of glitz to your outfit and distracts eyes from the weakest part of your body. Double goals!

 

 

credit: pulse.ng, pinterest

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Erelu Bisi Fayemi Donates N1M Empowerment Fund To Women Of Rubies

In celebration of her 57th Birthday, The First lady of Ekiti State; Erelu Bisi-Adeleye Fayemi donates N1m to Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children, through her Above Whispers “A Wrapper for Women  Initiative.

The aim of the donation is to support Women in dire need during this uncertain time in the World, and alleviate their pain.

The Wrapper Network which started In October 2019 was inspired by a question she asked  during her speech at a Women’s conference.

According to Her Excellency;

“Those wrappers symbolize solidarity, unity, love, protection, care and so on. If we want to be blessed as women in any way, Where is your wrapper? Where is your wrapper for the poor widow who is struggling to pay the fees of her children? Where is your wrapper for your wealthy but very sad friend who is experiencing domestic violence? Where was your wrapper when a woman told you she had been raped but you asked her what she was wearing?

In addition, a lot of women need help with modest contributions that could make all the difference. That is why I decided to start The Wrapper Network, for women who need a wrapper and for women who are prepared to give wrappers to other sisters. I am flagging it off with an initiative for some women entrepreneurs to mark my birthday on June 11th. The Wrapper Network will be able to support up to 40 women with between N50,000-N200,000 for various businesses. I hope that the sisters who will benefit can go on to bless other sisters with a wrapper when things are good for them”.

We will be disbursing the funds in the next couple of days among 100 women; from the most vulnerable to the downtrodden, we will make sure these Women get a “Wrapper”  of hope from this donation,and the names of the beneficiaries will be published for accountability.

We appreciate Erelu Bisi Fayemi for her kind gesture and we will make sure the funds gets to those who truly need it.

Happy Birthday to a wonderful Mentor, Encourager, Women lifter, Wrapper Giver, A woman above Whispers, an enigma of hope and purpose. We celebrate you today and always.

Esther Ijewere

Founder, Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children & Editor-In-Chief; Women of Rubies

 

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7 Ways Employers Can Support Their Staff’s Mental Health Remotely

Many reports and predictions during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic show that there is a silent wave we must fight off–the mental health wave.

Because of the effects of the coronavirus, global-scale lockdowns, and quarantines, people have become prone to anxiety, depression, and even suicide, especially in the wake of a global recession and mass layoffs. And with 90% of minority businesses locked out of the Paycheck Protection Program (PPP), there can be added worries and concerns among employees.

For businesses that now work remotely, it can be even more challenging to become a champion for employees’ mental health. But it doesn’t take much effort to do so. All employers need to do is follow these 10 tips to support your remote employees’ mental health.

7 Tips to Support Mental Health of Remote Employees

1. Do regular face-to-face check-ins

In this 2020 State Remote Work report, loneliness is still ranked as one of the biggest challenges that a remote worker faces in their everyday life. In the United States, loneliness is considered an epidemic– and the risks are heightened when people are discouraged from going outside amidst a global pandemic.

So one way to show remote workers you’re there for them? Doing regular non-work-related check-ins.

Use your online collaboration tools to schedule a time to meet, either one-on-one or as a group. Strike a balance between checking in with employees individually and as a team.

If you’ve never done this regularly, it may be a little awkward at first. So, ease everyone in with some virtual icebreakers to lighten the mood and get everyone out of work mode.

2. Offer added benefits and perks

Can you perhaps offer additional benefits or perks for employees during these trying times? Some employers are now considering health plans that include mental health services for employees to enjoy– and it can be a good benefit to add if you can’t hand out raises as often as before.

If changing your company health plan isn’t an option, you can give smaller, one-time perks instead. For example, help your remote team build their dream productive workspace at home by subsidizing expenses for certain office supplies or equipment.

3. Send a mental health survey

Sometimes employees can’t open up about their mental health concerns in a virtual meeting. Some might find it easier to evaluate their wellbeing if they’re sent a guided survey or form to express where they’re struggling.

A mental health survey tells you as the employer where you can support your employees more in a very specific way. Encourage employees to be very honest when answering this survey, especially if it means it will help you support them emotionally and mentally in and out of work.

4. Encourage employees to take leaves from work

Sometimes remote employees may feel they aren’t entitled to take leaves because they already work from home and have greater flexibility. But everyone needs to take a break from work, even for a few days. Encourage employees to take their paid leaves or apply for unpaid leave whenever needed.

An effective way to encourage employees to do this? Model the behavior yourself: take leaves from work and show employees that rest is an essential part of their work lives.

5. Share mental health resources in a dedicated newsletter or channel

Sometimes sharing resources like articles or videos about mental health are enough to show employees you’re thinking about their wellbeing. Regularly send new resources to help them manage stress, reduce anxiety, or get over relatable work issues like being “always on” or being afraid of taking breaks from work.

Share these in a dedicated Slack channel for mental health, so everyone knows where to find them. Or send them in a company newsletter each week.

5. Create a company exercise calendar

There are strong links that support physical exercise being one of the most effective ways to alleviate stress and boost the spirit. As a business owner, try to find ways to get everyone to stay active, even if they’re stuck at home.

One fun way to do this is creating a company exercise calendar, or scheduling different physical activities anyone can do. For example, you can schedule a weekly dance party or invite instructors for a fun company yoga session online.

6. Express gratitude often

Gratitude is one of the only things you can give away without losing anything in return. And when it comes to your employees, expressing gratitude can help boost morale and make them feel appreciated.

Work gets stressful for everybody, but you should still reward good work and employee presence with praise. Thank everyone individually for their contributions and even praise teams for jobs well done in public Slack channels or company newsletters.

7. Put up extracurriculars and team-building activities

Give employees something to look forward to each week or month with extracurriculars they can join outside work. Encourage teams to start book or film clubs, get everyone together for a team talent show, or just have a good time playing virtual games with each other.

You can even encourage ownership of these tasks by getting volunteers to manage these activities. It can be a great way to empower employees to contribute in ways outside work and really highlight their personal strengths.

8. Host or sponsor mental health seminars

Try inviting mental health coaches to come aboard one day and give intimate seminars to the company. This can be a space for your remote employees to talk to real professionals in the mental health industry about actual issues and concerns that may be bothering them.

These seminars may also benefit you, since you can see areas to support employees in more intimate or much-needed ways. The mental health industry constantly sees changes and improvements in their research and studies, and it doesn’t hurt to stay informed.

Additions

9. Empower employees to help their communities

Sometimes we can uplift ourselves when we uplift others. Inspire a sense of community and contribution within your company by starting a volunteer program or fundraising campaign, especially in causes that matter most to your employees.

For example, Diishan Imira of Mayvenn, an online platform that helps hair stylists connect and gain new clients and customers, started a #SaveTheSalon fundraising campaign.

She and her company sought to help displaced hair stylists whose incomes were severely cut because of the recent COVID-19 measures that closed down several industries, including salons, out of safety risks.

10. Put employees’ well-being first

When you take care of employees, your employees take care of business. This maxim is especially true in a remote workforce that eliminates in-person interactions.

Follow these 10 tips to help you become champions of your remote employees’ mental health, and you’ll see a happier, healthier workforce who’ll stay with you for the long haul.

Source:Blackenterprise

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Relationship issues
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7 Signs That Makes Him Believe You Are The One

If you have been in a relationship with your partner for a while, it’s normal for you to start wondering if you are what he has been looking for. If you are wondering if you are the one to him, check out WomensHealthMag’s seven signs that you are the one for him.

1. He’s his best self with you

Sure, there’s conflict that you have to work through in every relationship, but when you’re with your person, you’ll feel more alive,  joyful, and adventurous. If it’s not the right relationship there could be feelings of anger, helplessness, and you might not like yourself much when you’re together.

2. You don’t agree on everything

One of the important myths to dispel is the belief that you’ll feel completely compatible in every way. For example, you’ll have the same hobbies, the same likes and dislikes, and the same politics.

But our research suggests that compatibility of similar interests are mostly irrelevant. What’s more important is what it feels like when you’re together. You may both love to kayak, but if you’re arguing going down a river that common interest really doesn’t matter.

3. You make him feel wonderful

If he feels desired, attractive, funny, and all-around wonderful around you, then he’s probably considered that you could be the one. And the same goes for how he makes you feel about yourself. Remember this.

4. He feels safe

If he feels like he is home when he is with you then you could be the one for him. When you’re with the right person, you feel comfortable and relaxed. If every time you’re together things are negative, that’s not a good sign.

5. Your similarities are compatible 

Chances are that you won’t be exactly alike, and this is a good thing. Men and women get to learn a lot from their differences. But there is one arena where compatibility is very important feelings.

How do you both relate to anger, sadness, fear, and joy? How do you express affection and love? If you have very different feelings about feelings, it can cause trouble.

6. He doesn’t mourn the single life

When he finds “the one,” he’s thankful for what she adds to his life. He shouldn’t compare his committed relationship with you to what he might be missing out on by being single.

7. You agree on children

The only other make-or-break issue in determining if you’re “the one” is the issue of children.

Whether you both want them or neither of you do, agreeing on this important fact is key to settling down with the person meant for you.

Source: womenshealthmag.com

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