Women of Rubies
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Wunmi Adelusi: How To Stay Visible While Working Remotely

Sometimes, you need to be confident and vulnerable to share opportunities with your colleagues. By so doing, you are helping them turn their candles on while building your social capital. Sometimes, offering value is how to stay visible.

With the recent global turn of events, has become pertinent to redefine workplace visibility beyond physical appearances. Most people have gone digital, so should you.  Being available is not enough, you must be seen, and you would need to promote yourself to be seen. You, and the value you offer, must be visible to your target audience to get noticed. You know the saying, “out of mind is out of sight” – that is the rule now. However, the digital space has afforded us opportunities without borders to be visible while working remotely.

Why is visibility important?

The kind of opportunities that fit you only get to find you when you are visible. Being visible is like a magnet; opportunities around your area of competence locate you – the law of attraction.

To Build Your Network

Visibility is that tool that helps you build your network steadily. You don’t want to wait until you need help to start building a network. Now is an excellent time to start. Visibility brings you closer to people of like-minds. Because visibility reflects your values, it makes it easier for the right people to find you and vice-versa.

Reinforces Your Personal Brand

We all are a brand, and whether we are deliberate at working on it or not, it is being built. You know how you forget about someone simply because you haven’t seen their posts on social media for a while, that is precisely how visibility works. The more visible you are, the better your credibility. Ever wondered why big brands like Coca-Cola, MTN, and so on still advertise? They do so to reiterate their commitment to their consumers – staying credible. You are creating how you want to be perceived and rightfully so. You are a brand, and you are your first manager, do it well.

How can I be visible while working remotely?

Maximize LinkedIn

At the risk of sounding cliché, allow me to tell you again that LinkedIn is the ‘real-deal’ for any professional at this time. Have you been there lately? Things have changed! More people are joining every day to showcase their value.

I remember getting a job offer sometime two years ago on LinkedIn. That is still happening because head-hunters are there continually searching for potentials. But it’s only if you are there and adequately positioned that you can be seen.

Glory Edozien, the LinkedIn visibility queen, has been sharing a lot of relevant tips on getting visible on LinkedIn. LinkedIn seems subtle, but it works, particularly for career folks!

Reach out to your circle

Working from home can be lonely. Recently, I wanted further clarifications on a job and I had to send a mail to a colleague for that. It made me miss how I could walk to my colleague’s cubicle in time past. Because working remotely can get lonely, you need to reach out to your circle – it shows you want them to be better at what they do, particularly in this unprecedented time. And for your boss, it puts you in his/her mind. As you share these things with them, it makes it easier for them to remember you when opportunities they consider relevant to you pops up.

While I understand the importance of keeping things at work strictly professional, you can not run this race alone. You need career sponsors and mentors. At the same time, you should always help your team members grow and develop.

The other day, I reached out to a sponsor at work and asked if there was anything I could help him with. With the whole pandemic and his workload, I assumed he might be overwhelmed. He responded, telling me the areas he wants to read on. Swiftly, I swung to action and got him relevant and recently published articles by reputable institutes.

Share opportunities with your colleagues/superiors

Putting someone’s light on doesn’t make yours dim, it only makes it shine brighter. Sometimes, you need to be confident and vulnerable to share opportunities with your colleagues. By so doing, you are helping them turn their candles on while building your social capital. Sometimes, offering value is how to stay visible.

Keep abreast with industry news

In these unprecedented times, there are industry trends you must be aware of. Companies are pivoting; some job roles are going into extinction while new roles are emerging, you should know all these. This helps you stay alert, have reasonable conversations and give relevant comments at virtual meetings, emails, and webinars.

So, how have you been staying visible?

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Mirabel Centre: A Call To Men In The Justice And Law Enforcement Sectors To Fight To End Rape In Nigeria

We call on men in our law enforcement and justice systems to rise up to the demands of our times and put an end to the growing menace of rape and sexual assault. But most importantly, we urge all men – if you run a hospital, make it safe for women and girls. If you run a school, make it safe for women and girls. If you are a vice chancellor, make it safe for women and girls. If you run a business, make it safe for women and girls. If you run a hotel, make it safe for women and girls. If you run a church, mall, Chambers, airport, airline, petrol station, restaurant, radio and TV station, record label or a mall, please make them safe for women and girls. Every man has the capacity to create a rape free zone and ultimately end all forms of violence against women and girls.

The entire world has been dealing with a pandemic for a few months now – a pandemic that has since almost brought everything to a standstill. According to experts, it is a new virus, a new pandemic, and now we have to adjust our lives just so we can deal with it.

We have learnt to put on a mask, wash or sanitise our hands regularly, observe social distancing and even if necessary stay at home.

But we have been condoning and tolerating a more deadly pandemic for ages now. A pandemic that kills, maims, infects and destroys. It is a pandemic that takes the life of its victims – whether physically or psychologically. Unlike the new pandemic currently redefining our lives, this old pandemic does not spare its survivors – it kills their dreams, their aspirations, their essence and self worth.

The epidemic of rape and its murderous and monstrous inclinations is in our homes, on our streets, in our schools, in our offices, in our communities, in our society. But we have refused to declare it as an emergency of deadly albeit unimaginable proportion. Or how else do you describe a monster that preys on a woman every six minutes. One woman, our sister, our daughter, our mother, our Aunty is raped every six minutes in Nigeria every day. How else do you describe an epidemic?

As men, we are deeply troubled about the epidemic of rape. We are concerned about its unending spate. But we are even more disturbed about the silence of our communities and how this silence is empowering rapists in every nook and cranny of our society. The boldness and effrontery of these rapists have made them deadlier than ever, leaving in their trail deaths, anguish and painful indelible scars.

Every incident of rape casts aspersions on all men and challenges our claim to manhood. Every incident of rape questions our definition of masculinity and threatens the very essence of our humanity as men.

The rape of one woman should give every man something to worry about. It is a bereavement that we should all mourn collectively because of what truly dies in the woman.

When rape happens, nothing indicts good men more than silence. There can be no neutral ground when it comes to rape. You are either the rapist, for the rapist or against the rapist. Hence silence in time of rape is an eloquent position statement. The silence of good men may be a convenient stand but it goes a long way to empower the rapist, condemns and dehumanises the victims and further deepens a rape culture.

We call on every good man anywhere in this country to rise up and speak out against rape. We call on every man, anywhere in this country to take responsibility for creating a society that is safe for women and girls. We can no longer live in a society where women and girls cannot move freely not because there are dogs and lions but because there are men and boys.

Not on our watch!

We call on men in our law enforcement and justice systems to rise up to the demands of our times and put an end to the growing menace of rape and sexual assault. But most importantly, we urge all men – if you run a hospital, make it safe for women and girls. If you run a school, make it safe for women and girls. If you are a vice chancellor, make it safe for women and girls. If you run a business, make it safe for women and girls. If you run a hotel, make it safe for women and girls. If you run a church, mall, Chambers, airport, airline, petrol station, restaurant, radio and TV station, record label or a mall, please make them safe for women and girls. Every man has the capacity to create a rape free zone and ultimately end all forms of violence against women and girls.

Let’s do it!

As we take our stand against rape today, we commit to doing the following:

  1. Acknowledge and understand how sexism, male dominance and male privilege lay the foundation for all forms of violence against women.
  2. Pledge to examine and challenge our individual sexism and the role that we play in supporting men who are abusive.
  3. Promise to stop colluding with other men by getting out of our socially defined roles, and take a stance to end violence against women.
  4. Recognize that our silence is affirming. When we choose not to speak out against men’s violence, we are supporting it.
  5. Promise to educate and re-educate our sons and other young men about our responsibility in ending men’s violence against women.
  6. Pledge to challenge traditional images of manhood that stop us from actively taking a stand to end violence against women.
  7. Accept and own our responsibility that violence against women will not end until men become part of the solution to end it. We will take an active role in creating a cultural and social shift that no longer tolerates violence against women.
  8. Recognize that violence against women is rooted in the historic oppression of women and the outgrowth of the socialization of men.
  9. Take responsibility for creating appropriate and effective ways to develop systems to educate and hold men accountable.
  10. Create systems of accountability to women in our community.

This is our stand as men against rape.

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Biodun Da Silva: If It Looks Toxic & Feels Toxic Then It Is Toxic… Get Out Of That Relationship NOW!

The most vital component of any relationship is the aspect of give and take. For any relationship to function efficiently, there has to some kind of mutual exchange. The absence of this exchange breeds discord which eventually leads to toxicity and, in most cases, dissolution.

“We teach people how to treat us” – Dr. Phill.

We are all created to live dependently; dependent on food for sustenance, clothing for coverings, housing for protection from harsh weather conditions. As much as we don’t like to hear this, humans depend on humans to survive. The success of our life endeavours is contingent upon developing positive relationships with people from all spheres of life.

Physical and emotional dependency is very vital to our overall well-being in life in more ways than one. Human relationship and co-existence is a highly complex and extremely volatile topic. We are cognitively wired differently. It is not a one-size-fits-all kind of conversation and one of the key elements to peaceful coexistence is to understand this.

The need for dependency is why we are in a relationship, be it a business, cordial, or marital relationship. The most vital component of any relationship is the aspect of give and take. For any relationship to function efficiently, there has to some kind of mutual exchange. The absence of this exchange breeds discord which eventually leads to toxicity and, in most cases, dissolution.

A symbiotic relationship exists in almost every aspect of life. Give the earth seed, it will give you fruit in return. When a spouse gives his partner love, care, and attention, he expects all those, and more, in return. When you are vulnerable and divulge your concerns to a friend, you expect that it will remain confidential. A fetus depends on its mother to be incubated and successfully carried until it is birthed. A symbiotic relationship is also a significant factor in business transactions and in civil society.

Understanding that we are wired differently and having respect for other people’s genetic composition, taking cognizant of whom you entrust your life to, and being aware of the courtesies you extend to others are the first steps towards avoiding toxic relationships.

Irrespective of how carefully we avoid toxic relationships, there will be situations where we will encounter people who love to take without giving. They abuse privileges, takes loyalty for granted, and develop a sense of entitlement. So at what point do we draw the line? How do we untangle our emotional and physical dependency from such situations, think rationally, and find a path out of a toxic relationship?

The first step towards finding a path that leads to freedom is to identify what a toxic relationship means to you and how that relationship has impacted your life. Then place value on and prioritize your self-worth. How much are you worth to yourself? People treat you based on how valuable they perceive you to be.

You can be cheap or expensive, there are no in-betweens and if you price yourself cheaply, then you will be susceptible to all kinds of devaluation which will gradually seep into and affect other areas of your life. You also have to recognize what you can and cannot stand for, and what you desire out of life. Trust me when I say human tolerance can only take you to an extent. But most importantly, you will be doing yourself a total disservice by wallowing in toxicity in the long run.

Our relationships with people have the tendency to define us but we have the capacity to change the narrative as to how we want to be treated. Anything below our expectations will breed contempt, which will then lead to self-doubt and may eventually impact our mental health negatively. It is vital to find ways to detach or reduce our emotional dependence on people we are in relationships with.

This can be done by being confident, knowing your self-worth, building your self-esteem, potentials, practicing self-love, and loving yourself enough to walk away when it gets toxic.

Never allow other people’s inability to own up to their inadequacies overwhelm your progress or your sense of accomplishment. People will never hesitate to bring you down if you give them permission to.

Remember, we are wired differently, as a woman, your partner may not see the toxicity he is dishing you. You may even tell him you are uncomfortable with his behavior and he’ll tell you the feeling is mutual and he wouldn’t be wrong. Know where you belong, search yourself, find your peace of mind, and run with it.

Source: Bellanaija

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Barbra Streisand Helps George Floyd’s Daughter Become Disney Shareholder

Gianna Floyd, the 6-year-old daughter of George Floyd, is now a Disney shareholder, thanks to Barbra Streisand.

On Saturday, the young girl thanked the singer for the gift with a post on her Instagram page, featuring a slideshow of photos displaying the letter and certificate she received in the mail. Streisand, 78, also sent Gianna two of her studio albums, My Name Is Barbra and Color Me Barbra.

“Thank You @barbrastreisand for my package, I am now a Disney Stockholder thanks to you 🥰🥰🥰,” Gianna’s post read, alongside a photo of her smiling with her certificate.

While the Walt Disney Company no longer gives shareholders discounts to its theme parks, the brand is known to return on investments, with shares doing well over the years. In a recent CNBC report, they calculated that an investment of $1,000 in Disney 10 years ago would be worth more than $4,600 as of February 2020 for a total return of around 370 percent.

It is unclear how many shares Gianna received from Streisand.

Last week, Gianna learned she was granted a full-ride scholarship to Texas Southern University in Houston should she choose to attend. In a press release on their website, the Board of Regents of TSU revealed they had “approved a fund to provide a full scholarship for Floyd’s beloved daughter, Gianna … if she wishes to attend the University.”

The board said the scholarship was a way for them to “honor the memory of George Floyd on the day that he is laid to eternal rest” and ensure that Gianna has a secure future.

“This Board is committed to education and understands that a college degree is one of many powerful steps toward a productive and successful life,” Albert H. Myres, chair of the Board of Regents, said in a statement. “We know that this gesture cannot take the place of her dad’s loving presence, but we hope that it will contribute to easing her journey through life.”

In addition to the scholarship, TSU announced on Tuesday that they had issued a resolution for Floyd’s family, which commemorated his “exceptional life of dedication.”

“[Floyd] will be remembered as both a leader and a mentor, a colleague and a friend, as well as a major inspiration, to change the world through endless pursuit of justice,” the resolution read.

Also, earlier this month, Kanye West created a 529 college savings plan to fully cover tuition for Gianna.

Gianna Floyd
Gianna Floyd

RELATED: George Floyd’s Daughter Gianna, 6, Says ‘Daddy Changed the World’

And at just 6 years old, Gianna already understands the significant impact her late father left behind.

Last week, retired NBA player Stephen Jackson, a longtime friend of the Floyd family, shared a clip of himself with Gianna on his shoulders. In the clip, she smiled as she exclaimed, “Daddy changed the world!”

Gianna recalled some of her favorite memories with her father during an interview with Good Morning America last week. “I miss him,” Gianna said after being asked what she wants people to know about her dad, adding, “He played with me.”

“She didn’t have to play with nobody else because Daddy was going to play with her all day long,” her mother Roxie Washington said in the same interview. “I mean, that was his baby. He loved his little girl.”

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11 Signs A Male Co-worker Likes You

Do you think that a male coworker likes you?

Don’t know whether he’s just an extra nice guy, or he’s actually flirting with you?

We’ve all been there before, and there’s no doubt it can be tough to figure out.

But it becomes a lot easier when you study and learn about male psychology.

So in this article, I’m going to go through every tell-tale sign that your co-worker has a crush on you.

We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.

1. He tries to spend time alone with you.

If you work in an office, I’m sure that you have quite a few co-workers around you.

But even with all the busyness and professionals rushing around, if you find yourself spending a lot of time with just him, then it could be a sign that he is orchestrating time alone with you.

For example:

He may try to go to the lunchroom at the exact same time as you, or when the workday ends, he makes sure to walk to the car with you.

To work this sign-out, all you have to do is notice how often he manages to be side by side with you, and then compare that to how often your other co-workers get one-on-one time with you.

If it is A LOT more than anyone else, then you can get your bottom dollar that he is a romantic crush on you.

2. He asks about things that have nothing to do with work.

If he likes you, he’ll want to move the rapport and connection beyond work-related topics.

For example, he’ll ask you about what your favorite hobbies are, or where you like to hang out with your friends.

Whatever it is, he just wants to build rapport outside of work.

More importantly, he wants to get to know you!

A giveaway sign is if he asks you directly if you’re seeing someone. This is a clear-cut sign that he likes you.

However, he may not come out and say it directly, and instead, he’ll be more subtle about it.

For example, if you tell him that you went to a party on the weekend, he’ll ask you if you went with your boyfriend.

That way, he can work out whether you are actually seeing someone.

If he does this, then it’s obvious that he is interested in your relationship status.

In the end, if he is asking you a lot of personal questions, it means that he wants to build rapport and get to know you for who you are outside of work.

Does he seemed interested in what you are saying and does he engage in the conversation or is he just checking his phone in between drinks of his beer? If it’s all eyes on you, then he’s interested.

This is a sure sign that he likes you and might be pushing to ask you on a date soon.

3. He looks at you with those seductive eyes

You know what kind of eyes I’m talking about.

Those staring, puppy dog type of eyes that stick on you like glue.

He loves the way you look, he’s attracted to you, and he can’t take his eyes off your face.

And you know that the way he looks at you isn’t the same as everyone else.

If you believe that this is true, then the signs point to the fact that he has a crush on you.

If you’re not totally sure, here’s how you can tell:

  • If he maintains eye contact with you, he’s definitely interested.
  • If his eyes wander to your mouth, he’s interested.
  • If he looks away quickly when you catch him looking, he’s probably interested and shy. This is especially important to remember. If his head turns ridiculously quickly, he is likely shy. Have patience and you’ll get more opportunities for eye contact!
  • On the other hand, if he breaks eye contact with you and continues gazing around the room, then he may not be interested in you.
  • If you don’t like the guy, break eye contact and continue scanning the room.
  • If he tells a joke or says something funny, his eyes will glance towards you to see if you’ve laughed.

4. He wants to connect with you on social media

Let’s be honest:

It’s pretty rare to connect with your co-workers on social media.

It only really happens when you’ve worked a long time with someone.

So if he is making the move to get your contact details on social media, then there’s a fair chance he likes you.

Why?

Because he is trying to move your relationship outside of work. More importantly, he is trying to build rapport in a different setting.

A man knows that nothing can happen inside the workplace. The magic happens outside of work!

If it’s normal for your work colleagues to connect on social media, then perhaps it may not be as big a thing.

But if you catch him liking and commenting on all your photos, then you know that he is snooping around because he likes you.

However, watch out for him if he just sends you one-word responses on social media. This means they’re not making much of an effort in their messages to you and probably don’t like you the way that you like them.

If their responses are thoughtful and they’re responding back quickly, it means they’re willing to dedicate a lot of time to you. Time is a great indicator that they like you.

5. When you have an issue at work, he wants to be your hero

When you have a problem, is he the first person jump at the chance to help?

When a guy likes a girl, they tend to get very protective and they want to be their hero that saves the day.

Not only that, but if he jumps at the chance of helping you, he is probably doing so so he can spend more time with you.

After all, spending time alone with you is a way to build rapport.

6. He never looks scruffy at work

If a male coworker likes you, then they’ll want to impress you with every chance they get.

You know what this means, right?

He won’t rock up to work looking scruffy!

This is especially the case if you notice he started dressing better since he started getting to know you.

That’s what guys do. They don’t typically care how they look when they’ve got no females to impress, but as soon as they’re crushing on someone, BAM! They’ve got a haircut and they’re wearing a whole new wardrobe.

Expert tip:

Keep an nose out for how he smells. If he is wearing nice smelling cologne, you can bet your bottom dollar he’s into you.

7. His body language is picking up what you’re putting down.

Body language is probably the most important indicator to figure out if someone likes you.

Why?

Because most of us don’t typically notice what our body is doing. It’s completely reliant on our subconscious.

One of the biggest body language signs to look out for is if his body is facing towards you.

This means that his attention is really on you, and he cares about what you’re thinking.

On the other hand, if his body never really facing yours, then it might be a sign that he doesn’t really have feelings for you.

Does he smile at you and gesture at you? It could be the real thing.

If you are standing near a guy and he is interested, he’ll lean into you, want to be near you, and make eye contact on the regular to try to let you know he is interested.

He could also just come right out and say it, but that is highly unlikely. So stick with deciphering body language and some of these other tricks to tell if a guy likes you for sure.

Another body language sign to look for is how nervous he is around you. We all know that we tend to get nervous around our object of affection.

If you notice that he is fidgety, or he is talking fast, then it might be the case that he is nervous because he wants to impress you.

You can work this out by seeing how he acts around other co-workers. If he is usually relaxed and calm with others, but is a bit hyper, fidgety, and talking fast around you, then it’s probably because he likes you,.

Also, look out for what he is doing with his lips. He may lick his lips or part his lips when he is looking at you.

He won’t notice he is doing this, but subconsciously it shows that he is trying to sexually excite you.

8. He can’t help but compliment you

This isn’t exactly subtle, but if he compliments then you know that he likes you.

I’m not talking about the generic, boring compliments like “You look great”.

I’m talking about the more thoughtful compliments. If he says he loves your walking style, or he loves your cute awkward smile, then you know he is paying attention to the finer details of who you are.

He is noticing what makes you different, and more importantly, that is what is probably turning you on.

At least you know it’s genuine. Now you can just need to figure out if you like him, too.

Also, if you can, see how he talks about you to others. If he is highly complimentary of you when he talks about you to others, then that’s another sign that he is picking up what you’re putting down.

9. You have inside jokes together

Are you two the best of friends in the office? Are you always laughing together about something that no other co-workers would understand?

This is obviously a clear sign that you have a Jim and Pam situation going on.

You’ve both got chemistry together and he’s always trying to make you laugh.

Not only does it make office life more fun, but he actually seeks you out to tell you a joke.

Look, it’s no secret that when a guy likes a girl, he tries to make her laugh.

So if he is telling you jokes, making you laugh and you’re both enjoying shooting the shit together, then he probably likes you.

10. He flirts, flirts and flirts some more

Office life is boring, and to make it a little fun, flirting can go a long way.

While there is a lot of harmless flirting between co-workers, if he likes you he is probably taking it a yard further.

This is especially the case if he doesn’t worry about flirting with other female co-workers, and instead, focuses his efforts on flirting with you.

You’re probably wondering:

What constitutes flirting?

It could be playful jokes, or playful roleplays that he plays with you and no one else.

He might tease you to get an emotional reaction out of you.

Or it could be something as simple a smile directed at you from across the room.

If you know that every day you go to work, he is going to try flirting with you, then you can be sure that he genuinely likes you.

11. Your co-workers tell you that he likes you

Co-workers aren’t as dim as they sim.

Everyone observes what goes on in the office, and most people can pick up when there’s sexual tension between co-workers.

So if your co-workers are mentioning to you the fact that he likes you, then you can bet that they’re onto something.

Maybe they’ve even heard him talk about you. Who knows!

They may also notice that you spend time together or comment on how you would be a good couple.

Source: Hackspirit

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From Immigrant To Millionaire: The inspiring Story Of Disney Martinez

If you have not taken a browse through Disney Martinez’s instagram FitCouple, do yourself a favour and check it out, but be warned. You will immediately be overwhelmed with the desire to know how you can achieve the incredible success, lavish lifestyle, and fulfilling family that Disney has cultivated for herself.

Disney Martinez, or as she is now known, Disney de la Concepcion, is actually a name you may have heard before. If you are a big fitness buff, you may already be one of her one million followers on Instagram who flock to her feed for inspiration and motivation. If you keep tabs on successful entrepreneurs, you may have read about her tremendous success with the company Herbalife. If you are a proponent of women’s empowerment, she may even be one of your role models. In any case, the life she has made for herself is enviable in many ways, and none of it was handed to her on a silver platter.

Born in Havana, Cuba and arriving in the United States at age 15, Disney is your classic American Dream story hero. She moved here looking to achieve greatness, and found one of her greatest assets at 16, her husband Jorge. The couple has two children: Lucas who turns 7 this year, and Jade, who turns 5. They recently purchased a gorgeous home in Miami. Of all her many achievements, Disney cites her family as the one that brings her the most pride and joy.

In the professional spectrum, Disney has made a name for herself through the building her company. As of June 11th, 2018, Disney and Jorge went into business with each other, and were noted to be globally successful in their industry. The success really shows. If you follow her on Instagram, you see it every day.

Due in part to her skills in marketing as well as word of mouth of her successful, physically fit, lavish lifestyle, Disney has amassed over one million followers on Instagram. She frequently updates her adoring fan base with workout clips, cute couple pics, and the numerous travels and activities that she and her children enjoy. She also uses this popularity as a platform for women’s empowerment, a subject that is very near and dear to her heart. You can tell from the many appreciative comments on her posts that her goal of inspiring women to be the best they can be and love themselves for their strengths is being effectively achieved.

A successful businesswoman who is incredibly fit, lives life loud and large, and has a loving, happy family is a rare sight. Disney is the American Dream personified, and her numerous successes only continue to grow as she sets her sights for the future.

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Celebrating Grandmothers: The Unsung ‘Sheroes’ We Sometimes Overlook

Almost every new mum and indeed every mother has a lot to thank their grandmothers for. Without the help of grandmothers in the home, juggling a business, career, the kids and even the family would amount to nothing but a tall dream.

In many developing countries like Nigeria, grandmothers have had to move into their children’s homes to assist with childcare.

This way, many working moms no longer have to choose between their career and the family.

Grandmothers not only provide the needed childcare that young mothers need to thrive in their careers, but their emotional support and presence in the home, allow young mums to pursue their personal goals and aspirations. Now that’s a support system right there.

Beyond childcare, a 2006 World Bank article also established that grandmothers play an essential role in maternal and child nutrition, health and survival rates in Latin America, Asia, and Africa.

In the article titled, ‘Grandmothers Promote Maternal and Child Health: the Role of Indigenous Knowledge Systems’ Managers’, the World Bank described grandmothers as the managers of indigenous knowledge systems that deal with the development, care and the well-being of women and children.

The author, Dr. Judi Aubel, a community health specialist, claims that the role of grandmothers is central in advising younger women and male family members on nutrition and health matters, especially when children are still young.

According to him, it is through grandmothers that new knowledge and better health practices can be transmitted to younger mothers and the rest of society. And we couldn’t agree more with him on this.

Nonetheless, the influence and authority of grandmothers are not limited to childcare and nutrition alone.

Even in family life and marriages, couples follow the advice of their mothers and mothers-in-law as a sign of respect.

Yet they remain unsung. In commemoration of Mother’s Day, this article highlights the numerous ways grandmothers contribute to the advancement of childcare and nutrition.

Maternal health and nutrition
In Nigeria, grandmothers have been described as secondary caregivers for their grandchildren. By extension, this means that in the long run, they can influence their grandchildren’s psychological and physical health outcomes.

Childcare
With regard to childcare, the role of a grandmother is never-ending. From preparing home remedies for her sick grandchildren to caring for them, bathing the children, direct caring for mothers, assisting with domestic tasks to give mothers more time for child care, she remains the biggest support system of any and every mother.

Additionally, she also supports her daughter in general child care and upbringing of children. She also transmits religious, cultural values and traditions to her grandchildren.

Fussy eating
As a child, I spent most of my formative years with my grandmother largely because I was a picky eater. My mum told me she was tired of forcing me to eat and according to her, I was such a fussy eater. Tired of my mum’s numerous complaints about my refusal to eat, my grandmum asked that I be sent over to her. In less than a month at my granny’s place, I ‘sat’ up. She would never take no for an answer especially when it has got to do with meals.

And no, she didn’t beat or force me as my mum did. All she did was sing and pet me and in no time I would finish a plate of food. My mum couldn’t believe her ears when granny told her about my transformation.

The scenario above holds true for many parents. Grandmas are usually the best person to handle the challenges of fussy eating of kids aged 4-6 and it might not be unconnected to the fact that they have the key to their grandchild’s heart. They always find creative ways to cook meals that kids find irresistible.

Thankfully, today, a brand like Peak 456 Growing Up Milk with DHA, a specially formulated growing up milk for children ages 4 to 6 years of age, has made it easier for grandparents to provide their grandkids with the adequate nutrients they require to support brain development among other benefits.

Attending school meetings and events
Times may have changed and today many couples lead busy lives no thanks to a demanding career. This is where grandparents come in. When parents are unable to attend P.T A. meetings or other school programs, grandmums’ presence will mean even more to the grandchildren if their parents can’t attend activities because of work or other commitments. This is one of the many reasons why grandmums remain a strong support system for parents.

Source: Guardian

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“For decades Men Have Been Told To Make The First Move” – Didi Edet, Lagos Matchmaker

Didi Edet is a United States certified and award-winning dating coach in Nigeria. She has been matchmaking for over 7 years but got her certification from the United States in 2015.

The platform Lagosmatchmaker was created as a need for privacy in this dating age. It is a privacy-focused matchmaking platform for singles over 25years to meet like-minded individuals. It has now been extended to every location in the world so we also have clients in Belgium, Dubai and More.

She has her first degree in Economics from the prestigious Howard University and her masters in international strategy from the University of St. Andrews, Scotland. She also works as a statistician for National Bureau of Statistics and has previously worked as a strategist for NEXIM Bank and a data analyst with Debt Management Office. She decided to go into matchmaking as it is a platform that she is passionate about.

How did you start with lagosmatchmaker?
The platform was created to match single individuals above 25 years but with a huge focus on privacy. I did take a couple of courses in a bid to get certified to be more knowledgeable in this area of expertise.

What is the difference between online dating and using a matchmaking platform?
A matchmaking platform comes with support that an online service might not be able to provide. The platform works manually too so you do get to communicate with actual humans that can give you their perspective on things and not an automated service.

What expectations do your clients have with meeting other single individuals?
They do expect the best. Some expectations are reasonable and some are so out there which is what we call the search for the unicorn. With the new age and availability of options, people don’t put in as much effort to get to know a person and at the slightest view of imperfection, the person wants to move on to the next single individual. The process involves us being transparent and clear on giving dating advice to the clients.

What are some of the challenges you have encountered with a new line of business in Nigeria?
I have encountered a lot of challenges. The fact that matchmaking is fairly new to Nigeria in the business sector means there is no blueprint or previous marketing plan to follow.

This was a major challenge to learn how to market and educate the mass about what we do and the process. We are privacy-focused so we have to explain to clients that we don’t have pictures posted of individuals. Things are done manually which doesn’t make the process as efficient but it leads to better results and we are highly focused on the results.

Another major challenge was getting good staff. That took about a year to find the perfect people that understand the job, get them a little bit of training and it’s been a blessing to have people who genuinely care about the clients as I do.

Another challenge is explaining to people what we do. Some people think we give relationship advice which is not what we do. We focus on the dating aspect of life because this is an area I have been certified in and also as a single individual dating, things in this aspect are fresher to my understanding. We are linking individuals together and that’s it.

Why are you manual in your process instead of automated like everyone else?
Being automated like everyone would be less work for us. I would not even need as much staff in an automated service but we found out after moving from automated back to the manual that our results were higher. It’s just different when you can communicate with a person that talks you through the process and tries to understand the difference between what you want and what you need.
The manual process allows to be like a friend to you introducing you to our other friends and rooting for it to work out.

What are the types of people on the platform?
We have a huge variety of people from various locations and various status. We have singles that have never been married, divorced, widowed and more. Our client base can be described as the working class that may not have a lot of time for social activities so outsource a part of their social life to us.

Can clients see pictures of people before they meet them?
Our platform is privacy-focused so this means privacy is our highest priority. We don’t circulate or post pictures of members. However, we can exchange pictures of members with the permission of that party. We have had a lot of successful matches with this formula so we know it’s something that works for us.

Will they have an unlimited number of people to meet when they sign up?
No, you will have a fixed number based on your membership level and this was done to make people take their matches seriously because, in a situation where you have unlimited matches, we have seen people abuse that by finding little excuses to not give the person a chance because they feel there are a million more at their beck and call so they are not as intentional with their choices.

Is this strictly online?
No, we have an office located in the heart of Lekki and it’s open for enquiries but we have found out that majority of our client base are busy, so we are more efficient with the online network and work faster that way.

What advice would you give to singles out there?
I feel everything you want in life can be achieved if we put the effort into it. If you want a job, you get qualifications and make the effort to apply for it. I feel effort should be applied to dating too as opposed to sitting and hoping for things to magically fall in place, I feel if you want love, but the effort to search for it. We are here to make that an easy process.

Can you tell us more about yourself?
I am a certified dating coach with Lagosmatchmaker. We focus on connecting singles above 25 years and letting them enjoy the dating process. We do not divulge into the relationship aspect which is a bit broader. We focus on meeting an individual, having a first and second date.

Why did you go into matchmaking?
Lagosmatchmaker is a privacy-focused matchmaking platform for like-minded individuals and was birthed out of the need for privacy in certain aspects of our lives like dating. A lot of my friends I spoke to wanted to be able to search for a date without leading with who they are.

In this age of Internet fraud, how can one trust online matchmaking?
I don’t think there is any worry with internet fraud with Lagosmatchmaker because it’s not strictly an online matching platform. We do have an office located off Admiralty way, Lekki, Lagos where clients can come in and discuss the process if they so wish. But we discovered that a lot of people don’t have the time which is why a lot of our work is done online.

Who qualifies to consult a matchmaker? And can you be consulted?
Anyone with a busy schedule can consult a matchmaker. I always say it’s the same as outsourcing cleaning or cooking because you don’t have the time to do those things yourself. The same way matchmaking is a service that helps the busy people who have little or no time to socialize and meet someone at their convenience.

Why are men shying away from making the first move?
I would not say men are shying away from making the first move. Men for decades have been told they alone could make the first move but in this new era, women are now able to make the first move so you might find an increase in the number of women searching for a man. Because it’s new and it’s effective than having to choose a spouse out of just the ones that choose you. These days, you can make a choice rather than choosing from your available option.

How should a woman react if she loves a man but feels the man should make the first move?
I would tell that lady to make the move herself because I do believe in communicating what you feel as opposed to being quiet and hoping in some magical way, he should know how you feel.

What are those things that should be put into consideration before going into marriage or a long term relationship?
I stay on the dating aspect of life, not the relationship aspect as I am exploring that myself. Relationships are too broad to try to understand so I rarely divulge into actual relationship discussions or advice.

Any individuals, single and trying to find love can participate. Unlike @lagosmatchmaker that is very focused on privacy, @lmmmixer.ng Is more visible.

The minimum age on the platform is 25yrs. We have currently had an increase in the number of older clients that have signed up. We have a lot of females ages 40 to 55 and males ages 45 to 65. We aim to help everyone find that happiness that comes with companionship.

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FG Congratulates Mo Abudu Over Netflix Deal

The Federal Government has congratulated media entrepreneur and filmmaker, Mo Abudu, over her partnership with leading global streaming service Netflix to create two original series as well as multiple Netflix-branded films.

In a statement issued in Abuja, the Minister of Information and Culture, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, said the partnership, for on-screen adaptation of Wole Soyinka’s Death and The King’s Horseman and Lola
Shoneyin’s The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives, adds another feather to Mo Abudu’s already well-adorned creative cap.

The minister also described the deal as a big boost for the country’s creative sector, at a time the industry is reeling from the negative effects of the Covid-19 pandemic.

”Coming after Netflix’s first Nigeria original film, Lionheart, this is a great recognition of the immense creative talents that abound in Nigeria and the provision of a global platform for Nigeria storytelling,” he said.

Alhaji Mohammed expressed the hope that this partnership will signal the beginning of a bigger, mutually beneficial working relationship between the streaming service and Nigeria’s Creatives.

Death and the King’s Horseman is a play by Wole Soyinka based on a real incident that took place in Nigeria during British colonial rule: the horseman of a Yoruba King was prevented from committing ritual suicide by the colonial authorities. In addition to the British intervention, Soyinka calls the horseman’s own conviction toward suicide into question, posing a problem that throws off the community’s balance.

It builds upon the true story on which Soyinka based the play, to focus on the character of Elesin, the King’s Horseman of the title. According to Yoruba tradition, the death of the king must be followed by the ritual death of the king’s horseman as well as the king’s dog and horse, because the horseman’s spirit is essential to helping the chief’s spirit ascend to the afterlife. Otherwise, the king’s spirit will wander the earth and bring harm to the Yoruba people. The first half of the play documents the process of this ritual; with the potent, life-loving figure Elesin living out his final day in celebration before the ritual process begins. At the last minute, the local British colonial ruler, Simon Pilkings, intervenes, the suicide being viewed as barbaric and illegal by the British authorities.

While The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives is set in an enclave of modern-day Nigeria where tribal custom and witchcraft still rub up against rationality and science. Ostensibly about polygamy in old Africa, it is a far more universal story of the shifting power-play inside a marriage and sexual envy between women.

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“One Of The Most Difficult Things To Do Is Leading People”- Kolajo Blessing

“Breaking the glass ceiling” is one the best things that came out of Hillary Clinton contesting for Presidency. A tag line she often used during her campaign, to encourage women to take charge and squash their limiting beliefs. Kolajo Blessing is one of such women! She has not just broken through the glass ceiling, but also encouraging other women in her generation to do so.She is the first Female President of OOU Literary and Debating Society and also the first Female President of VeeCee Success Stories, a position she holds in a bid to share stories of young women and men alike, as an undergraduate of Olabisi Onabanjo University. Blessing is also an excellent writer and a great spoken word artist. She recently wowed people with her craft on Instagram when she did spontaneous spoken word session about Slay queens. The double President shares her inspiring journey with me in this interview.

Childhood Preparation
My childhood days prepared me a lot for what I do today, and the things I will still do in the future. I remember growing up was not so fun for me because I took interest in what my age groups do not enjoy doing which was reading literary texts, so I spend more of my time with imaginary characters in novels. My daddy would trek down to the bookshop to buy storybooks for me every weekend, which I would finish reading before he comes back from work, and that was at the age of seven. I enjoyed watching the news, too, which has served as a platform for my exposure because I grew up in a rural environment.

Being the President of OOU Literary and Debating Society and first female president of Veecee Success Stories
If I’m asked I will say one of the most difficult things to do is to lead people. It was difficult waking up to the reality that there are a set of people looking up to me in many aspects, having to think that any bad decision I make affects many others. Having to do all this, along with achieving my academic vision and personal development, gave me a tough time. However, the experience I had has shaped and moulded me into a better person; leadership isn’t easy but it’s worth it.

Being a student and managing my role
Time management and setting priorities. I denied myself of a whole lot of things; I scrapped my fun time totally and fused it into my creativity. I do not attend impromptu programmes, neither do I go for unnecessary visits. My schedule was church, lectures, library, official meetings and any events where I have been called to perform. It wasn’t easy for me because I am a youth and I have needs, but some prices are worth paying to achieve the goal of self-development, which I did because I had the best results of my life during that period.
Using my position to squash stereotype of women holding powerful positions in the society

I set an example by leading the associations even better than my predecessors who were males, because people were wondering that this small girl cannot do it. Also, I remember that each time an assignment was meant to be given or an opportunity arises in any of the associations that I led, what I did was to conduct a capacity test to pick someone suitable for the job. In most cases, the female members perform better and I do not hesitate to pick them since they have proven themselves worthy regardless of the gender reservations that has been for that position, because I believe women are tools for greatness and not humans that should always occupy the backseat. Also, I write to influence the mind of the society positively about the issue of gender discrimination.

Being a Poet
What inspired my poetry is just the need to express myself in a way that is unique and beautiful. However, when I noticed that I am making positive impact, I started doing more and that is what has brought me to limelight and accord this kind of honour to me. Be on the lookout for many things, by June of this year I will be launching three poetry collections for junior secondary school one, two and three titled “Raindrops” and many other great things shall follow.

Three women who inspire you to be better and why
The number one woman that inspired me a lot when I was a child was Professor Dora Akunyili, she was an intelligent woman, I do watch her speak on NTA when I was young. Also, the words of Michelle Obama and Chimamanda Adichie are energy giving shots to my soul.

Challenges of being an undergraduate joggling so many things at once
Managing people especially when they are older than me was the first challenge, getting people of like minds to work with was my second challenge. Lastly, having to cope with challenges of being a teenager/youth, peer pressures and the likes was so difficult.

Being a Woman of Rubies
I am a Woman of Rubies because I am productive, and I have something valuable to offer my generation and beyond. I am beautiful and strong regardless of the circumstances around me.

To young women who are afraid to live their dreams
Dear young girls, the best motivation you can ever have in life is having a clear vision that will always serve as a drive to your success. Never be afraid to accept challenges, never be afraid to bring those dreams into reality, for only the brave can rule this world and do not neglect the place of God, for his grace will always be sufficient for you.

Values OOU has instilled in me as an undergraduate
The first value is perseverance, the harsh condition of the school and its administrative system has taught me to persevere. I can say OOU, through the people that I have met, gave me the best gift I have now which is poetry.

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