Women of Rubies
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Wuraola Ademola-Shanu: The Ultimate Guide To Guest Posting For Beginners

If your pitch is accepted, the next thing to do is write your guest post. Especially if it’s the first time you’re writing for a site, you want to make it better than your best.

Do you want to guest blog on your favourite sites or become a guest blogger and don’t know where to start from or what to do?

Guest blogging is a strategy where you write for other blogs that could help you get enhanced traffic, quality backlinks, and increased brand exposure.

To become a guest blogger, you need to do the following:

Know Your Objectives

An effective guest blogging strategy starts with knowing your objectives.  You have to know where you’re headed and what you intend to achieve before becoming a guest contributor. Examples of objectives might include:

  • Driving traffic to a specific landing page (or to your site in general) to get more leads and sales.
  • Building awareness of your brand, products, and services
  • Improving SEO by attracting inbound links.
  • Positioning yourself as an authority in your field to command premium prices and get speaking engagements.
  • To land a job or consultancy role.
  • Increasing email subscriber numbers or your social media audience.

It’s extremely important that you have a goal in mind. This will help you know what type of content to post and the type of bio to craft.

Find Blogs/Websites You Want to Guest Post For

Before you start writing your guest post, you need to find the right blogs to target. Below are several methods you can take to find potential guest posting blogs:

  • Conduct a search on Google

Performing a focused Google search can help you find the right blogs. To search for a blog on Google, you must bear ‘Search Term’ + ‘Search value parameter’ in mind. E.g:

Keyword + ‘guest post’

Keyword + ‘write for us’

Keyword + ‘guest article’

Keyword + ‘guest post opportunities’

Keyword + ‘this is a guest post by’

Keyword + ‘guest contributor’

Keyword + ‘want to write for’

Keyword + ‘submit blog post’

Keyword + ‘guest column’

Keyword + ‘submit content’

Keyword + ‘submit post’

Keyword + ‘suggest a post’

Keyword + ‘submit an article’

Keyword + ‘contributor guidelines’

Keyword + ‘become a guest blogger’

Keyword + ‘guest blogger’

Keyword + ‘become a contributor’

Keyword + ‘submit guest post’

Keyword + ‘submit article’

  •  Check out the websites influencers in your niche are guest posting for

Some influencers in your niche disclose the other blogs that they write for. This can ultimately lead you to an exclusive list of quality blogs you can also guest-post for.

Form a Connection with the Site Owner

If the site you intend to contribute for is owned by someone you can directly pitch to, it’s important that you establish a connection with them first.

Unless the topic you’re pitching is extremely relevant and the content is mind-blowing, I’d precommend that you do not copy and paste guest post pitch templates you see online, as most of them are generic and do not tell the site owners that you’ve done our homework or make the effort to personalize your pitch.

So, how do you establish a relationship with these site owners?

First, get to know their site and the type of content they publish by following them on social media or by subscribing to their newsletters. This will help you get updated on the latest new happenings in their lives or business.

Also, read their content consistently for a few weeks, or longer, so you understand what matters to them and their audience. If they list their top-performing or featured content on their site, check that out, too.

Connect with site owners on social media so you can tag them when you share their site content. Share anything you really love and include a comment so it’s not just a plain link.

Comment on their blogs, sign up for their email marketing newsletter and respond to their emails. You need to form a genuine relationship with these people. Don’t fake it; they’ll figure it out and then you won’t achieve your goals.

Choose a Winning Topic

Once you have a good understanding of your target site, and what matters to the site owner, it’s time to find a topic to pitch.

You should already know what’s popular on the site. Now, think about how you can add value by:

  • Responding to what’s on the site
  • Providing additional information on a popular topic
  • Writing something new on a topic that’s likely to be popular with the audience

If the site has guidelines for pitching and writing, read them. If you don’t, site owners might just reject your pitch before even reading it.

Send Your Pitch

For your guest blogging strategy to succeed, it’s important to avoid generic guest posting pitches. Like I said above, most people can spot a generic message from afar. That is why you need to do your homework, so that you’ll be able to craft a winning pitch that’s personal to each site owner with very little effort.

What are the rules for sending pitches?

The first rule is to keep the pitch short and to the point. Site owners, especially those with authoritative sites, get a lot of pitches, so don’t waste their time.

Second, use their name. Most site owners won’t read pitches from people who can’t be bothered to research this basic contact detail. So, if the site owner’s name is Wuraola, your email should start with “Hi Wuraola” or “Dear Wuraola.”

Third, include the post title. In fact, some successful pitches use this in the email subject line and as a secondary heading within the body of the email. For instance, if I wanted to pitch this topic to a site owner, my email subject line would be ‘The Ultimate Guide To Guest Posting For Beginners’ instead of ‘Guest post pitch – XYZ site’.

If the person you’re pitching loves your title, you’re halfway to a successful pitch.

The next thing to do is to describe the post briefly. Say what it will cover in a couple of sentences or a few bullet points. Tell them how your post will help their readers.

Finally, show them why you’re the right person to write the post. You don’t have to send in your resume, just drop in some badass points on why you’ll make a great contributor.

P.S. Here’s a sample of a guest post pitch you can use or tweak to suit you.

Email subject line: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO GUEST POSTING FOR BEGINNERS

Address site owner by name: Dear Wuraola or Hi Wuraola

Familiarity with the site’s content: I noticed that you’ve been publishing a lot of content around blogging and can’t help but create a blog post that would be beneficial to your readers. I know they love blogging tips (looking at the comments after every post you publish and the number of reshares)

Qualifications for writing/why you’ll make a great guest blogger: and since I’m a content creator, I’d love to create a topic that aligns with your readers’ needs.

Brief post synopsis/outline: Over the years, there’s been plenty of speculation about the death of guest blogging, but the tactic remains one of the most effective ways to promote yourself and your business. From freelancers like Elna Cain who used a guest blogging strategy to make a full-time income from freelance writing and Buffer used guest blogging to attract 100,000 customers; guest blogging is indeed a powerful content marketing tool.

Last paragraph: Wuraola, would The Ultimate Guide To Guest Posting For Beginners be of interest to you?

Salutation: Sincerely, Linda Jones

(Optional): I love The Copywriting Chick Blog. Thanks for being an amazing resource!

So, here’s the pitch:

Dear Wuraola,

I noticed that you’ve been publishing a lot of content around blogging and can’t help but create a blog post that would be beneficial to your readers. I know they love blogging tips (looking at the comments after every post you publish and the number of reshares) and since I’m a content creator, I’d love to create a topic that aligns with your readers’ needs.

Over the years, there’s been plenty of speculation about the death of guest blogging, but the tactic remains one of the most effective ways to promote yourself and your business. From freelancers like Elna Cain who used a guest blogging strategy to make a full-time income from freelance writing and Buffer used guest blogging to attract 100,000 customers; guest blogging is indeed a powerful content marketing tool.

Wuraola, would The Ultimate Guide to Guest Posting for Beginners be of interest to you?

Sincerely,

Linda Jones

P.S: I love The Copywriting Chick Blog. Thanks for being an amazing resource!

Write Great Content

If your pitch is accepted, the next thing to do is write your guest post. Especially if it’s the first time you’re writing for a site, you want to make it better than your best.

Here’s what you need to do:

  • Craft an Amazing Headline

Start by taking a look at the headline in your pitch again. Even if the site owner loved it, it won’t hurt to come up with some alternatives. A great headline includes the benefit(s) for the reader, uses action words and taps into emotion.

  • Link Appropriately

Ideally, your guest post will have a great link profile, which helps with SEO and building authority. That means you should include relevant internal and external links in the guest post you’re writing. Within the content, link to great content from the site you’re writing for, and useful resources on external sites. This helps give the content a good link profile, which is also good for SEO and building authority.

  • Include Images

Finding images can be tasking, especially if the site owners have a lot on their hands. So, except they tell you that they’d rather insert the images themselves, you should add them. You can get free images from Pixabay, Unsplash and Canva.

  • Format the Post Correctly

Finally, format the post so it matches others on the site. Observe how and where they use subheadings, capitalization, bold text, lists, etc. The less work you give site owners to do, the more of an asset you are.

Craft A Bio That’ll Blow Their Minds

You need to work that bio because it’s where you get to link back to your own site/social media page and resources. Options commonly offered include:

  • A single link to your home page
  • A link to any page/resource on your site
  • A link to your site plus a social media link
  • A couple of web and social media links

Be Responsive

You wanted to be in the limelight and now, you’ve got the opportunity. Leverage it and do not put it to waste. Respond to comments on and mentions of your post.

Why? Apart from the fact that it’s good manners, it’s also a great way to connect with your new audience and achieve some of your set goals. Who knows? You could land a client or clients. Or even a beneficial partnership/collaboration deal.

Blog owners will also be happy if you’re responsive, making it more likely they’ll be receptive to new pitches, or will suggest ways you can contribute further. This moves you even closer to achieving your goals for your guest blogging strategy. And if you aren’t able to respond to posts on their sites, you can get traffic or DMs on your social media pages, email or websites. Be sure to respond to them.

Promote Your Content

Content promotion is a key part of your guest blogging strategy so more people read your content and follow it back to your site. You can promote your guest posts via email, on your social media pages or website. Also, encourage your subscribers and followers to visit, comment and share.

Write More Guest Posts

Don’t stop at one guest post and call it a day. The more posts you write, the more online presence you have, and the more people think of you as an authority. That leads to more invitations to write and participate in events, more traffic to your site, and more leads and sales.

Of course, if you’re writing a lot of guest posts, you’ll need a way to keep track of them. That’s why it makes sense to have a guest blogging calendar.

An easy way to do this is to create a new calendar in Google Calendar and add the titles and due dates of any guest blogging commitments.

Source: Bellanaija

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Meet Neijae Graham-Henries, The “World’s Youngest Female Barber” (See Video)

At age seven, Neijae Graham-Henries also known as the world’s youngest barber, found her passion when her brother chose to discontinue the Junior Barber Academy in North Philadelphia.

Now, the 9-year-old spends her time going to school and giving free haircuts to those in need and at the same time mastering her skills from Philadelphia barbers. Young Graham-Henries is confident about her career in a male-dominated profession and her resolve to pursue her passion has won her the World Record Academy title of “World’s Youngest Barber’.

Neijae says she didn’t think much about giving haircuts before she heard of the academy. “I would braid my own hair and my doll’s hair, but I wasn’t really interested in barbering. I thought only boys could do it” she told TIME for Kids.

Graham-Henries received national attention from outlets like BuzzFeed and Inside Edition when a video of her working went viral on social media. She also got invited to speak at the Essence Beauty Carnival in New York City.

Watch the video below:

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Woman Who Called Michelle Obama An Ape is Going To Prison For Fraud

Pamela Taylor, the 57-year old white woman who made a racist comment about former first lady Michelle Obama on Facebook two years ago, is now going to prison for embezzling more than $18,000 in FEMA disaster benefits.

Taylor, the former Clay County development director, has recently been sentenced to 10 months in federal prison and to pay $10,000 fine. After serving her sentence in jail, she also has to undergo home confinement for the first 2 months and supervised release for 3 years.

In 2016, Taylor also made national headlines after comparing then-first lady Michelle Obama to an ape. In a Facebook post after Trump’s election, she said, “It will be refreshing to have a classy, beautiful, dignified First Lady in the White House. I’m tired of seeing a Ape in heels.”

She was then suspended from her position as Clay County development director but returned to work about a month after.

In the FEMA embezzlement case, Taylor reportedly claimed her primary residence was damaged by the flooding in West Virginia that damaged other homes and buildings and killed at least 23 people in June 2016. She also said that she stayed in a rental unit after that.

However, it turned out that her home was not damaged and that she was still living there, not in any rental unit as she have initially claimed to receive more than $18,000 in FEMA disaster benefits.

“The flood was a natural disaster. Stealing from FEMA is a man-made disaster,” U.S. Attorney Mike Stuart said in a news release. “The floods of June 2016 were historic and devastating to thousands of West Virginians. Lives were lost. Too many of our brothers and sisters lost everything. FEMA dollars are critical but limited. Stealing critical FEMA dollars is a crime — literally and figuratively. Taylor’s fraud scheme diverted disaster benefits from our most desperate and vulnerable, those most in need of help.

Source: blacknews.com

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Twin Sisters Graduate With Highest Honors, Pay Tribute To Their Mom Who Died Last Year

Khaliyah and Aaliyah White, twin sisters from Philadelphia, have graduated as the number 1 and 2 students of their class at GAMP High School.

Despite the hardships they faced, Khaliyah graduated valedictorian and Aaliyah graduated salutatorian with their drive and motivation.

The twins dedicate their success most especially to their mother who passed away last year. “She was proud of us for everything that we were doing,” the twins told NBC News about their mother.

Aside from their academics, the two sisters were also occupied with participating in track and field and theater plays.

Due to the pandemic, they will be having their graduation virtually wherein they are set to address their fellow graduates.

“We’re still doing everything even though it is not the same as before. We’re going through this and we will be stronger and more prepared for anything that comes in the future.”

Both of them are pursuing premed but Khaliyah is heading to Delaware State University, while Aaliyah is going to the University of Pennsylvania. It will be the first time they will be separated for long and they are excited about what is ahead of them.

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How Tinuola Okenimkpe Is Helping Women Find The Courage To Live Their Best Lives After Divorce Or Separation

Ending a marriage you have spent years nurturing can be very hard. On one hand, you are happy you have made a good decision for yourself, on the other hand, you feel an overwhelming feeling of loss.

It can be particularly hard for women who don’t have the right support or who live in a society where divorced women are stigmatized.

For these reasons and more, Tinuola Okenimkpe is sharing her personal experience to help divorced and separated women move on and live their best lives after divorce.

ABOUT TINUOLA OKENIMKPE

Tinuola Okenimkpe, popularly known as Tinu-Ola-Onipekun, was born in Kaduna, Nigeria. She studied Computer science at Yaba College of Technology, Lagos, Nigeria.

She started her journey as an entrepreneur at the age of 19 and currently owns and runs a cake store known as Dreamtreats Cakes.

A divorced mother of 2 children and an adopted cousin, Tinuola, who has a can-do attitude towards life, loves to inspire others to pick up their dead dreams once again, dust them and run with it. She derives fulfilment from helping women get back on their feet especially after experiencing a loss.

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

Beautiful Beginnings is an organization she founded to provide support for women who have experienced a loss. She has gone ahead to release her debut book also titled Beautiful Beginnings, focused on helping others find the courage to move on just like she did.

She has another soon to be released book titled Now That You Are Divorced, a step by step guide to finding your groove back.

WHY SHE STARTED BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS AND WROTE A BOOK

My marriage ended after 10 years. From my experience, I found out that society has defined the way a divorced woman should look and how she should carry herself. It was considered a thing of shame and you were literally labeled a failure.

After divorce, one was expected to be silent, and talking about it only made it worse. Due to lack of support both from the community, religious organizations and sometimes even family, most women considered divorce an end to their lives and their dreams.

And many others remained in marriages that should never have been because of the fear of stigmatization. I also found that many divorced people had a sense of overwhelming loneliness during this process and for many, it was literally impossible to pull through.

Over the last 9 years, I discovered a lot of things I wish I had known earlier on. While that knowledge may not have eased the pain, it would definitely have made a lot of things easier and helped me get my groove back earlier.

I am very passionate about helping other divorced women through that season and that is why I started a support system known as Beautiful Beginnings.

HER BOOK – BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS

Reading the book Beautiful Beginnings will give you a fresh perspective and help you find the courage to move on.

You can also sign up for Walk With Me, a 30 days session.

Benefits include:

– Discover the truth about who you really are
–  Get tips for going through a divorce with less drama
–  Pick up your dreams again…. they are valid and possible.
–  Learn to raise outstanding kids despite and in spite of what you are going through
–  Find the courage to move on with your career or start a business
–  Build a support system
–  Get your groove back

 

GET IN TOUCH WITH TINUOLA OKENIMKPE

Instagram: instagram.com/tinuolaonipekun

Facebook: Tinu Ola-Onipekun

Phone call: 09079006877

WhatsApp: 09079006877

Email: mybbeginnings@gmail.com

 

This article was culled from Woman.ng, In support of the Author’s work as it relates to marriage and separation. It is not our original content , neither did we conduct this interview.

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Debbie Larry-Izamoje: How To Spot Emotionally Intelligent People In The Workplace

How a customer is treated when things go wrong has an impact on whether or not the person continues to be your customer; an emotionally intelligent leader understands this and makes adjustments for customers where possible

I was with my friends recently, and we  reminisced over secondary school days. We considered the students who were rude to teachers, aggressive and communicated poorly and how they were deemed as brave; those who cried or worried about anything were most times seen as weak.

Subconsciously, what we saw as childhood jokes have become a lifestyle for many. People think emotional intelligence is showing no emotion at all or being overly transparent with your feelings. And who can blame them really? How many courses did they teach in school about emotional intelligence?

When I started doing my research, I found that a good number of young professionals rarely possess all three pillars of success, which are IQ, EQ, and AQ. Budding entrepreneurs are said to be fast learners and resilient, but they unfortunately often fail to understand and regulate their own emotions, especially in business environments. Business environments are usually unpredictable and fast-paced; you must be self-aware to succeed. Self-awareness leads to self-regulation, which is often shown in people with a high EQ.

Are you self-aware? Are you open about how you feel? Are you able to control your tone and pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses easily? Well, you can easily be described as an emotionally intelligent person.  Here are a few more tips for spotting emotional intelligence.

No Tolerance for Negative Thinking
As humans, it is very normal to let our thoughts guide us. In short, internal monologues are very important. But a key thing done by emotionally intelligent people is halting negative thoughts. The minute that doubt, fear, or low self-esteem appears, they stop it in its tracks. They understand the power of thoughts and know that a thought is not necessarily a fact. These people are usually at peace with their past and forgive themselves for mistakes easily. Now, this is very important because in business, mistakes are bound to happen, and you must be your own cheerleader. You must ensure that you have a positive outlook at all times and that you believe in yourself.

Great Listeners & Great Social Skills
Have you ever noticed that you somehow make every conversation about you? That you listen to reply and not necessarily understand? This might mean that you’re not very emotionally intelligent. Emotionally intelligent people know that “hearing” and “listening” are two different things. They rephrase a person’s statements in the form of a question to make sure nothing got lost in translation. They understand the importance of communication, and allow room for the other person to speak before they reply. Have you heard people say they don’t talk much to strangers? Or people who say go overboard and become a totally different person in front of strangers? Well, that’s a sign of low emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people are usually great at networking and people tend to be drawn to them.

Accepting & Tolerant of Diverse & Varied Opinions
They understand that there is power in diversity. You can never catch an emotionally intelligent person who is racist or tribalistic. They also tend to trust people, and this makes for great leadership. Business decisions are usually team decisions, not a one-man decision. How a customer is treated when things go wrong has an impact on whether or not the person continues to be your customer; an emotionally intelligent leader understands this and makes adjustments for customers where possible.

Perceptive & Aware
I smile every time I talk or write about this, because this is one of my gifts. It is so useful as a business person. People with high EQ sense body language and expressions more than words. This, however, does not mean that you try to please people based on body language. People with high EQ are willing to say no where they have to. They don’t have a problem setting boundaries and are very self-aware in tough or heated situations. They always evaluate their emotions and regulate how these emotions are being projected.

The way you are brought up can have an effect on the level of EQ you possess, but you have the power to improve your emotional intelligence and ensure that it does not affect the growth of your business.

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Circumcised Women May Have Low Libido – Elohor Ovite

Leading and trending Nigerian sex therapist based in Abuja, Elohor Ovite, has identified that women most prone to low libido are women who were circumcised while adding that the uncircumcised too are not immune.

Speaking in a recent interview the sex therapist, who is also the Chief Executive Office E&E Skincare, posited that most Nigerian women have sexual problems but not too disposed to discussing it or seeking help.

She said, “Most women have sexual problems, a lot of women actually, but they won’t say it. As I said, a lot of them shy away from the conversation. Men also do not help matters in telling the women they, (the women) have problems. This is because they either do not want to kill their ego or make them feel bad.

“In matters of sex, everyone wants to have the mindset that they are giving their partner the best, but when you tell someone they aren’t, it becomes a problem. From my experience, most women suffer low libido or sex drive. Other sexual problems in women range from vaginal weakness, looseness, vaginal infections, vaginal dryness etc. Many factors may be responsible for the problems and one of them is circumcision. In fact, circumcised women tend to have a low sex drive and may need my product, Kayanmata to start enjoying blissful sexual life again.”

She added that with Kayanmata, she has been able to help many women get out of their sexual gloom.

“I am into Kayanmata business, this business deals with problems that concern women mostly. Most women have issues in their marriage and relationships that could be easily sorted out by this product but they don’t know. These products are purely herbal, no side effects at all, in fact in seeing them alone you know these are all-natural products from herbs. But most women still shy away from their problems.

“Sex is very important in a relationship and marriage but most people ( women ) especially would act as if they are not interested in having that conversation. Kayanmata is a Hausa word, meaning ‘Women’s things’. They are herbs used to enhance sexual pleasure. Kayanmata is the same as aphrodisiac, anything that is used to stimulate sexual pleasure,” she explained, saying women who have used the herbs have amazing story of love and fulfilment to tell.

“Kayanmata are natural products which could be in form of fruits, herbs or even seeds that help in resolving sexual issues, creating intimacy and love between women and man. With Kayanmata, we have products that help in different ways, such as vaginal tightener, which helps to tighten loose vagina caused by something else, say childbirth or natural causes. We also have products like sweeteners, that are lubricants that make a woman very wet and sweet.

“There are also products for libido booster that help a woman have a good urge for sex ( most women suffer from this everyday, especially those who were circumcised),” she added.

Elohor Ovite was born August 17, 1994. She hails from Uwheru, Ughelli North local government area of Delta State. She had her primary and secondary education at Oxford Primary and Secondary School, Warri, Delta State. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Public Health from Espan University, Cotonou, Benin Republic. She’s happily married with children. She founded her company December 19, 2016.

Source: Guardian

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Adanna Elechi: The Single Girl’s Guide To Dating A Single Dad

Single parents exist. Some people become single parents, not by choice, but as a result of their partners dying. There are also people who do not care about marriage or dating. They choose to be single parents. Some people are single parents because of failed contraceptives, or because things went awry. Things happen that we don’t usually plan for.

The long and short of this is that single parents, or in this case, single fathers are here to stay. Discriminating against them is not even an option, with the way some men are fighting over who will win the title of scum of the earth. It is best to hold the good man you have tight, whether he has a child or not.

As this is the situation some of us have found ourselves in, or will find ourselves in future, it is imperative that we learn how to make our relationships work. To be honest, it can’t be a walk in the park.

There are a few ground rules to know before you decide to go into a relationship with a single dad, feel free to add yours. Ladies, bring out your pen and paper or screenshot as we go.

1. You will never be number one. You heard that right. His child comes first; after God, if he is religious. So prepare your mind for cancelled dinner dates or any other events. If that child’s temperature goes one degree higher than normal, best believe plans will get cancelled. Unless of course, he has the same relationship 50 Cent has with his first son. You chose this life, so don’t fight it.

2. Don’t force the child or children to love and accept you. If you are genuinely nice, they will fall in love with you eventually. I am tempted to say ‘eventuarry’.

3. Not all baby mamas are crazy. Some are, but definitely not all, so don’t come in guns blazing. Buy a figurative gun but don’t load it till she starts messing with you. Don’t go and buy a real gun o, see you see kirikiri o! I pray you never experience it. Spirit of fighting die die die!!! We are children of peace.

4. Men with crazy baby mothers are already stressed, don’t add to the stress by nagging him every day. You are not too cool to be dumped, Sis. I didn’t say tolerate bad behaviour, but don’t go about nagging like it’s the oxygen you need to live.

5. Don’t look down on your boyfriend’s baby’s mother. Trust me, your man was once in love with her too. We are assuming it wasn’t a ‘one nightstand’ here. We are all virtuous men or women who only sleep with the ones for us, we don’t go about sowing our seeds everywhere.

6. If they were never married and they have two children with two-year age difference, run sister, run. That is some planned births going on over there and baby number three is on the way.

7. Trust your man, but bear in mind that Okafor’s law is as strong as the law of gravity. Once that ass has been tapped, there is a very high chance it will be tapped again. We come against every spirit of repeat tapping!

8. Till he has put a ring on it, don’t take up any stepmother role. Love the child but remember to keep your distance. The father should tell him or her about you, you have no business telling them you are now the mom around here. They have a mother.

9. Remember to give father and child(ren) some alone time. You don’t have to force yourself into every conversation or picture. It is one big happy family, but still, let them breathe and be. Get your own life, watch TV or knit a sweater sometimes.

10. If you know you can’t be a part of a blended family, end that relationship now. The world is already filled with wicked stepmothers, don’t add to their number. I am also pleased to inform you that the witchcraft coven isn’t taking any more candidates. If you like, pretend to be good till you go in then change to a monster, some of us will be happy to drag you from blog to blog on social media.

Dear single girl, when you are dating a single dad, or considering dating a single dad, just know it is a different level. You have more than one person to consider in your relationship and it is not a bed of roses. If you like being the centre of attention, this is not for you. If you are the very jealous type, it is also not for you. If you are an instigator, this is most definitely not for you. For the sake of the child(ren) involved, please strive for peace and unity. If the baby mama is crazy, just mind your business and remain sane. If you start showing signs of madness too, wetin you gain? I wish you luck as you make the right decision for your dating life.

Remember to order my book, The Cover, and also connect with me on all social media platforms. I have missed my BellaNaija family. Please, all of you should join hands and pray away the spirit of laziness and writer’s block from my life. Of what use is a writer who doesn’t write?

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“Don’t Be Ashamed To Discuss Sex Education And Boundaries With Your Kids – Dr. Nimi Ekere

“Says Social Media made people more aware of Child Sexual Abuse “

The Coronavirus has in no little way made the world appreciate frontline workers more, people who defy odds to stand in gap and keep the society safe. Dr. Nimi Ekere is one of such unsung heroes, working tirelessly to keep us safe.  She is a trained medical doctor and a consultant Family Physician. A Fellow of the National Postgraduate Medical College of Family Physicians. She is a life coach, mentor and teacher who is extremely passionate about children and young people, walking in the right path to achieve their full potentials.

She is also very passionate about effective and intentional parenting. Her Foundation, Ekom Charity Foundation mentors’ young people and also cares for the less privileged in the society. She is also the founder of Smile and Shine Children’s Foundation which is a non-profit organisation for children, aimed at preventing child sexual abuse, providing the needed help and support as well as emergency care and treatment with adequate follow up and rehabilitation for victims( children) of sexual abuse. She is the author of a collection of books that teach children and parents all they need to know about child sexual abuse. They include; ‘Some parts are special’ for children aged 2 to 5 years, ‘Setting boundaries’ for elementary schoolers’ , ‘Sparkles at dawn’, for teenagers and young adults and ‘Into the light’ for Parents and guardians.

 

Dr. Nimi Ekere is also a well sought-after public speaker, and happily married with kids. The inspiring Doctor who is a sought after online for medical and parental advice, shares her journey with me in this mind-blowing interview.

Childhood Preparation

I grew up seeing my mother care so much for others. My mother literally lived for others, especially the indigent. Up till now she still pays fees and house rents for people that are in need. She taught us how to love people, show empathy and go the extra mile for others. Even if I have a warm and calm personality, I can say that the act of giving, showing love and generosity to others were things I saw my mum do, so it became a part of me. My dad on the other hand, made me love to write. He would buy newspapers like Concord, punch and magazines like NewsWatch, prime people etc. and would hand over to me after reading as I would insist, I had to read them. Afterwards, I started to write articles and then I started to write short stories. I would take a wooden spoon and stand on front of the mirror and just talk. I liked Oprah Winfrey and I thought I could talk like her. Looking back, I think my childhood truly did play a significant part in what I am doing today albeit subtly.

Inspiration Behind Ekom Charity Foundation

I have always loved children and young adults. I had always known I would mentor children and since I also have a heart for humanity, I decided to start Ekom Charity Foundation years later to mentor young children and care for the less privileged, especially women. We go to schools to teach children about charting a good course for their lives. They are taught to avoid peer pressure, drugs, all forms of vices and we counsel them too. The foundation also does free medical outreaches and health campaigns.

So far, we have carried out numerous free medical services for the less privileged. We have organised events like Christmas parties in slums with Santa Claus giving wonderful gifts to the children. Most of these kids had never had a Christmas party in their lives and the excitement on their faces remain indelible, to say the least. I am deeply passionate about children…maybe this is because I am the first child.

Smile and Shine is new, and it was started because I had and still have a burning desire to end child sexual abuse. I had seen children become medically and psychologically traumatised because of CSA. Some became suicidal and one of them. Even committed suicide. I have seen parents lose their children to the deleterious effects of CSA. I have also seen people blame the victims or survivors rather than give them the help that they deserve while the perpetrators walk the streets like heroes. I want to stop this.

I want to be able to help children not to get abused in the first place and in the sad event that they get abused, that help is proffered and these children are subsequently reintegrated back into the society and become healthy adults regardless. I want to also break the silence that is attached to CSA. I call it the “don’t tell anyone” phenomenon which is common in this part of the world. I believe that if victims are allowed to speak up, help would come faster and so, healing would also be faster and long lasting.

The Journey So Far

It has been an emotional journey for me, financially tasking and truly time consuming but it is worth every step. As long as a child gets help and never goes back to that experience, I am so happy and fulfilled. I would need collaborations from the government as well as other NGOs as sometimes, the children need more than the emergency medical and psychological care. They could need to go to a safe place as their “homes” might be unsafe for them. We also need justice to be served as the perpetrator should ideally get prosecuted. Again, this would require collaborative efforts from the legal angles and law even agencies.

Being A Medical Doctor, Life Coach, Teacher, Wife, And Mom And Managing It All

It really isn’t easy, but I thank God for the strength and wisdom. I work hard and try my best to give my best at anything I do. I do not joke with my role as a wife and mother. I do well to take care of the Homefront because I believe that your home should be a prototype of what you want to see in the society. So, I spend time with my husband to train our kids. I try to spend time to teach them, support, and nurture them on the right path. It is not surprising that they are always get the best behaviour awards in addition to their outstanding academic awards. I owe it all to God. I also have a supportive husband who is my best friend and stands in just well when I have to be away caring for patients, teaching or mentoring children and young people.

Book Publication

I have published four books for Preschoolers and young children, older children and preteens, teenagers and young adults and parents. So, I have a collection of books for the family on how children can prevent sexual abuse and how they can build a formidable relationship with their parents. The book for parents is an exposé on child sexual abuse. Everything a parent must know; from red flags to tell tale signs and how a child and the family can get help when an abuse occurs, including when and where to get help. Additionally, it also gives practical steps on how a parent- child relationship can be built and sustained. It is indeed a must have for the family.

The Epidemic Of Sexual And Why We Should All Be Involved

I would like to state here that child sexual abuse has always been here with us. Social media has helped a great deal to make people more aware of the menace called CSA. If it appears to be on the rise, I will say that the state of the economy could be contributory. Parents have to work so hard and the child are left in the hands of their nannies and relatives who may even be the abusers. Also, a lot of parents are not friends with their children. Having a good reputation with your child and instilling the right values in them is a step towards preparing CSA. A child who needs to seek validation from external sources is a vulgar child at risk for molestation. Also, parents need to start early to teach their children sex education using age appropriate words and terms. All these are contained in my books.

On Parents Who Hardly Have Time For The Kids

Create time for your kids. No one can take care of your children better than you. No maid or relative can care for your kids better than you. And this is not only for mothers, even fathers should be involved in raising the children. Both parents need to spend time to speak with their kids as often as possible and build a good relationship with their children. Your children should be able to tell you anything without the fear of being judged or criticized.

Being A Medical Doctor And Children’s Advocate

I think it is easier for me because i am taken seriously. The children open to me and tell me things they can never tell their parents and because I create an enabling and confidential environment with them, it makes it lot easier for me. They tell me I am their role model and some even say they want to be doctors when they grow up. I would say that being a doctor makes the walk somewhat easier.

 Women Who Inspire Me To Be Better

My mum, Mrs. Joy Raymond; She is an amazing woman who set the pace for what has become my lifestyle today. She is generous, kind, selfless and really caring. All these qualifies I see in myself and I truly thank God for a great mother.

Oprah Winfrey- I love her love for humanity and like I said earlier, I had dreams of being on TV as a child because of Oprah.

Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya was something I admired greatly. I think she was a great woman and I really loved her family values and all she stood for. I still listen to her messages. She inspired me so much.

Being a Woman Of Rubies

I would say that I am a go- getter and once I put my heart to a cause that I think is right, I go all out. Again, I am touching lives, which is what God requires of me as a Christian. I think these and more make me a woman of rubies.

On Protecting Kids From Sexual Abuse During The Pandemic

Make your children your friend. Let them not walk on eggshells when they relate with you. Make sure you call from work to check up on them from time to time. Installing a CCTV would also be of great help. Do not be ashamed to discuss sex education and boundaries with them. Also talk to their caregivers or nannies. Let your children know how to say no to untoward behaviours and advances. Also educate the nannies about your expectations, do’s and don’ts and boundaries.

To place an order for my book , send an email to books@nimiekere.com or send a WhatsApp message to+ 2347038829374

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Funkola Odeleye, Temie Giwa-Tubosun Shortlisted As Finalists In the 2020 Edition Of The Cartier Women’s Initiative

Funkola Odeleye and Temie Giwa-Tubosun have been shortlisted as two of three African entrepreneurs who could stand a chance to win the sum of US$ 100,000 in grant at the 2020 edition of Cartier Women’s Initiative.

The Cartier Women’s Initiative which was founded in 2006, has helped women over the years to reach their full potential by shining a light on their achievements, whilst providing them with the necessary financial, social and human capital support in growing their businesses and leadership skills. This initiative is open to women-run and women-owned businesses across the globe and sector with the aim of ensuring a strong and sustainable social and environmental impact as defined by the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals.

Owing to the social impact of their businesses within Nigeria, Funkola Odeleye and Temie Giwa-Tubosun were amongst the selected 21 finalists from a pull of 1200 applications from 162 countries across 7 regions. A winner will be selected from each region and take home the sum of US $100,000 in prize money, whereas the second and third runner-ups will receive the sum of US $30,000.

Funkola Odeleye who is the Co-founder and CEO at DIYlaw, a legal technology company committed to empowering Nigerian entrepreneurs through the provision of accessible and affordable legal services and free legal and business resources. She is also the Corporate-Commercial and Intellectual Property lead at The Longe Practice LP (TLP), an entrepreneur focused law practice.

Funkola has a Masters in Finance and Financial Law from the School of Oriental & African Studies, the University of London in addition to her LLB from the Lagos State University and BL from the Nigerian Law School. Her legal experience prior to founding TLP and DIYlaw cuts across capital markets, investment advisory, compliance, and securities.

She is an Obama Leader, having been chosen as a 2019 Obama Africa Leader and also an Innovating Justice Fellow of “The Hague Institute for the Innovation of Law” (HiiL).

“With our goals aimed at reducing unemployment in Nigeria by 50 percent by 2030, DIYLaw’s services and partnerships at the end of 2019 had created more than 120,000 jobs in Nigeria. Every job increases an individual’s financial independence, provides a chance for stability, and in some cases even offers the possibility of moving off the streets” she added.

Temie Giwa-Tubosun, also shortlisted as one of the finalists is the founder of LifeBank, a medical distribution company with the mission aimed at helping hospitals find critical supplies and deliver them in the right condition and on time within three cities in Nigeria.

Since it’s founding in 2016, LifeBank has consistently ensured the timely delivery of vital medical supplies and blood to hospitals in its service area within 55 minutes’ day or night, thereby relieving doctors of the logistical stress associated with locating blood and giving them ample time to focus on treating patients.

The company has transported more than 20,000 units of blood and other medical products, served 450 hospitals, engaged 5,823 donors, and saved over 6,757 lives.

LifeBank’s ambitious mission is to save a million lives across Africa in 10 years and to reach all of Africa, India, Southeast Asia, and South America to deliver critical supplies around the clock, eventually becoming a profitable public company.

Seven (7) laureates out of 14 finalists from the 2020 edition of the Cartier women’s initiative will be announced in early June 2020. The Seven (7) laureates and 14 finalists will all benefit from financial advisory services, strategy coaching, media visibility, and international networking opportunities, as well as a place on an INSEAD executive education programme.

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