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BETTY IRABOR, IBUKUN AWOSIKA, AISHA AHMED , OTHERS SHARE INSPIRING STORIES AT “TO MY YOUNGER SELF LAUNCH”

It was a mega gathering of prominent business leaders and professionals in the country at the official launch of the book, To My Younger Self, which took place at Rele Gallery in Lagos last weekend.

Compiled by Ronke Onadeko, To My Younger Self is a collection of inspiring stories and letters from 24 outstanding individuals in Nigeria, sharing lessons learnt in their career, family and business journeys.
Talking about the book during the launch, she said, “To My Younger Self features 24 authentic journeys of people who have had very rich experiences. In their letters, they shared the things they wished they had known, things they wished someone had told them, things they had learnt themselves, mistakes they had made and how they overcame the challenges. I’m hoping that this book will help young people, entrepreneurs and people transiting in their careers to gain clarity by learning from the experience of others to save time. Some young people do not have older ones or mentors to put them through and in order to help them not make the mistakes beginners make, this book is imperative as it will serve as a guide and light for them.”
Special guests present at the event include Aishah Ahmad, Gbenga Oyebode, Ibilola Amao, Foluke Abdul-Razaq, Adeola Azeez, Uzo Nwani, Chizor Malize, Foluso Gbadamosi, Chinwe Egwim, and other contributors who read portions of their letters to their younger selves to the audience.


To My Younger Self contains letters from Aishah Ahmad, Deputy Governor of the Central Bank on Nigeria; Nike Ogunlesi, Founder of Ruff ‘n’ Tumble; Betty Irabor, CEO and Editor-in-Chief of Genevieve Magazine; Ndidi Nwuneli, Founder of LEAP Africa; John Obaro, CEO of Systemspecs; Kunle Elebute, Country Managing Partner of KPMG; Akin Akinfenwa, CEO Forte Oil and many others.

“The reason why this book is important is because we want to get it into the hands of 10,000 young people before the end of the year and I want this book to mentor and guide them. I want people who read this book to understand that there is a need for a strategic, informed and intentional way to grow themselves and their businesses and to plan their lives and careers,” Onadeko added. Copies of To My Younger Self can be purchased from Laterna Bookstore. Follow @youngerselfbook on Instagram and Twitter and the hashtag #ToMyYoungerSelf for updates.

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OMILOLA OSHIKOYA: DEAR HILLARY CLINTON…

Dear Hilary Clinton,
You are a woman who has inspired so many women all over the world. You ran for the highest office in one of the most prosperous countries in the world. My generation would say you are goals on every level. For me, there was something you did that blew my mind which is the focus of my letter, but I will speak about it later. I must say that one of the things I respect about you is the fact that you stood by your husband during what must have been the toughest time for the two of you. I can’t even imagine the pressure and public scrutiny that you would have endured. Why this is profound for me is that my one of a kind husband too stood by me during one of the most difficult times of our life. I faced temptation for three years and fell and we dealt with it privately, but when we published our book, The Richer Woman, we had to face public scrutiny. Thank you for standing by Him. Many women may have shamed you for standing by him but I’ve come to realize since I launched my book that it’s not just men who cheat or go through temptation; many women face temptations and cheat but the thing is we don’t talk about it.

The reason I write this letter is this: the other day, I saw a screen shot of your Twitter profile on Instagram and I was blown away. I was so impressed that your profile started with WIFE, MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER before your other accomplishments. I was so happy when I saw this and planned to talk about how amazing it was on social media. You can imagine my shock when I heard and saw that you had changed it and upon further investigation, I read that you changed it because of an opinion of an activist writer… This may or may not be the case but the point is that you changed it. This time, you listed your career achievements before Wife, mother and grandmother.
Why is this personal to me? Well let me share a part of my story. Due to challenges I faced growing up, I came from a very wealthy home but we went through financial challenges. I decided that I was going to be very wealthy. I did this out of fear. Due to my fear I put my career before my family. My career almost cost me my marriage, family, health etc. But God changed my priorities.

Today, I am still very driven but I am no longer driven by fear but by purpose. I am successful but there is a major mindset shift.
For me, I understand my role in my husband’s life. I’m Christian and my Bible says the reason Woman was created was to be The Man’s helper, so I am aware that the role I play in my husband’s life is pivotal. Bill Clinton would not be who he is today without your support and help. I also realise that the role I play in my kids’ life as their mother is one of the most important roles in my life. I cannot be truly successful if my kids do not reach their potential – and my husband, too.

See, God speaks to me through analogies and when I was writing my book I asked Him what the analogy for a wife is and He said, “Soil”. A seed has so much potential however, no matter how much potential a seed has, it cannot grow to become the plant or tree it was created to be if it doesn’t go into the right soil. The soil provides nutrients and water for the seed. It nurtures it and holds its roots down so it’s able to withstand storms, etc. The man is a seed in this analogy and no matter how much vision or potential he has, he cannot achieve it without the right soil – i.e. his wife. You were clearly good soil to your husband and even when he made a mistake you provided the support he needed. So whether or not he included “husband” on his Twitter profile, He couldn’t have been President without you. Being his wife is a great achievement. If women know how powerful we are we wouldn’t compete with men.
Your daughter Chelsea is doing well and may even become the first female President of America. Without you nurturing her she wouldn’t be the woman she is today. So you see your greatest accomplishments are being a wife to your husband and a mother to your children.
No matter how many awards I win or ceilings I shatter (trust me I’ve won some and will win even more), I cannot be said to be truly successful if I don’t fulfill my role as my husband’s helper by helping him achieve his vision and if my children are not successful.

Some people may say but is this an excuse for men who are lazy or don’t have vision, so let us go back to the analogy of the seed and soil:
A seed is made up of three parts and the biggest part is the endosperm. This is its own internal food storage. The seed feeds on its own internal food storage before it receives nutrients from the soil. So a man must have vision and must also have a plan for achieving his vision. However, he can’t do so without the right soil, i.e., his wife.

Let’s talk about feminism.
Feminism, according to the dictionary, is defined as “the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.”
I agree with this definition. Contrary to what a lot of people think, feminism was actually God’s idea. However, where the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. The whole point of feminism was for women to understand that they are equal to men. Yes, we are equal in God’s eyes. Women should not be oppressed or taken advantage of. Women should not be paid less because of their sex. Women should not be perceived to be the weaker sex because though we may be perceived to be weaker in physical strength, we are stronger in emotional strength. I dare say that no man can bear the pains of child birth.
In my time in investment banking, I was treated equally as my male colleagues. My value was determined by the value I brought to the table and not my sex.

I believe God is an advocate of the true meaning of feminism because He wants His daughters to know how He sees them. He is not happy that His daughters have been oppressed over the years by tradition and culture. God has a special place for women. Even when you look at the Bible you see strong women like Deborah who was a judge and a prophet, you see Queen Esther. Even in the New Testament, women funded Jesus’ ministry; He was surrounded by successful women.
Now when it comes to the marriage union, we are equal in God’s eyes however, in terms of responsibilities, my Bible says my husband is the head. This is perfectly fine with me. It’s like in a company: employees have different responsibilities. There is a CEO, COO, CFO, etc.
My husband and I were talking the other day and He raised a valid point, He said the Bible doesn’t say women should submit to men, it only says women should submit to their husbands while the husbands are to submit to Christ. I love it. This is where the world has twisted things. Women should not submit to men, they are only required to submit to their husbands according to the Bible.

See, the true meaning of feminism has been perverted. It is not about putting men down or saying we are better than them. That’s not the purpose of feminism. Unfortunately, many feminists today put men down and this is not good. Women are becoming like the men that they once complained of.

I was on the plane to Paris for my book tour when I started writing this and I’m on my way back as I complete this letter. My husband is a successful aviation lawyer and he is helping me take care of the home front while I’m away. When I get back I’ll resume my responsibilities. Last year, I travelled to so many countries and he stood in for me. We are a team. We are on the same team. We have our different responsibilities and we help each other and step in for each other.
Feminism is ALSO NOT about looking down, criticising or verbally abusing other women who choose to put their families first. It is about ensuring we are equal and access equal rights.

See, God has a unique purpose for every woman. Some are meant to be Presidents, some chief executives, some professionals, some stay-home wives, some full-time mothers. A woman should have the right to choose what she wants or who she wants to be and not be forced to be someone-else. That’s what true feminism is about. Feminism has been perverted and it is now at another extreme where the women who choose a certain path for their lives are shamed and abused by other women. Every woman – regardless of what she wants to be or chooses to be (the key word is choose not forced) – is valued and valuable to society.
As I conclude this letter I would like to let you know that your initial Twitter profile spoke to and for millions of women who society and, in fact, other women, have condemned for being true to who they choose to be. I’m not talking about women who are forced to stay at home or not allowed to work, but to women who choose to put their family first – regardless of whether they are top corporate- or business executives or a stay-home mothers or wives.

Feminism is about ensuring that women have equal rights and this covers all women – even stay home mums.

Whilst I wish this letter will make you change your twitter profile again, even if it doesn’t, what I hope this letter does is to encourage women all over the world to be true to who God has called them to be. We are powerful and we must not abuse our power but use it for what it was given to us for.

Thank you, Hilary Clinton, for being a source of inspiration to so many women and girls around the world and giving us hope that our dreams are valid – whether it is to be a wife, mother or president of a country. You have inspired this young woman from Lagos, Nigeria.

About Omilola Oshikoya
Mrs. Omilola Oshikoya is a UK certified life coach, personal finance/business coach, talk show host, author, public speaker, columnist, blogger, entrepreneur and media & publications specialist. After over 11 years in finance/investment banking, Omilola left a very successful career in pursuit of fulfillment.
Twitter @omilola & @pocketfinance
Instagram @omiosh20
Facebook www.facebook.com/omilola.oshikoya
Youtube www.youtube.com/omilolaoshikoya.
www.omilola.com
www.pocketfinance101@blogspot.com
www.omioshikoya.blog

 

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“DO NOT LET FEAR STOP YOUR DREAMS” – PEACE HYDE SPEAKS AT THE ESSENCE FESTIVAL

British Ghanaian Media personality, Peace Hyde over the weekend inspired a room of young female entrepreneurs at the annual Essence Festival held in New Orleans Louisiana.

The inspirational founder of education non-profit Aim Higher Africa joined the group of millennial businesswomen including entrepreneur and TV personality Vanessa Simmons, entrepreneur and author Karen Civil, founder and CEO of curlBOX, Myleik Teele and artist, author and entrepreneur MC Lyte.

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TIWA SAVAGE, NAOMI CAMPBELL ATTEND ‘GLOBAL CITIZEN FESTIVAL MANDELA 100’ PRESS CONFERENCE

To announce the star-studded lineup as well as other details about the upcoming Global Citizen Festival: Mandela 100 event, a press conference was held today at Sandton Convention Center in Johannesburg, South Africa.
The press conference was attended by Tiwa Savage, Naomi Campbell, Sho Madjozi, Precious Moloi Motsepe, Kweku Mandela as well as Minister of Energy for South Africa Jeff Radebe, CEO and Co-Founder of Global Citizen Hugh Evans and more.

See photos from the press conference below.

 

 

Source: Bellanaija

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“I DIDN’T PLAN TO BECOME A FEMINIST ICON”, CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE BARES IT ALL IN RECENT INTERVIEW

Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, in an interview with VULTURE in New York, gave a detailed perspective into a lot of issues going on in today’s world. The author opened up on rape, raising children, Melania Trump, empathy and a lot of other topics.

Read excerpts below.

On wanting to tell the truth: I want to tell the truth. That’s where my storytelling comes from. My feminism comes from somewhere else: acute dissatisfaction. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t want to tell stories. Sadly, I also don’t remember a time when I wasn’t telling people what I think about the world.

On thoughts about raising a boy: If I had a boy, one of the things I would do is not just say it’s okay to be vulnerable, but also to expect him to respect vulnerability. Actually, shaming him into vulnerability is a good idea, because there’s so much about the way that masculinity is constructed that’s about shame. What if we switch that shame around? Instead of shaming boys for being vulnerable, why don’t we shame them for not being vulnerable? I kind of feel — I was going to say I feel sorry for men, but I don’t want to say that.

On #MeToo changing gender and power dynamics in meaningful ways: I hope it does, but it hasn’t. What I like about #MeToo is the idea that now women’s stories have the possibility of being believed, which is almost revolutionary. Now a woman can tell her story and she might still get castigated, but there’s the possibility that she gets public support and that there are consequences for whoever harassed or assaulted her. That’s not happened before. But the shape of the narratives around #MeToo can still be troubling. It’s the idea that a woman doesn’t deserve sympathy unless she’s “good.” I’m sorry to get into race, but it’s similar to what happens with black men, where in this country it seems that they are not deserving of sympathy unless they are pure. If a young boy is murdered because he was going off to buy Skittles but we learn that he smoked marijuana, then that somehow makes him not deserving of sympathy. He shouldn’t have to be perfect to deserve sympathy and that applies to women as well. And, also, the way women are cast as innocent or blameless or helpless undercuts the idea of female agency. Often we’ll say things like, “She was coerced into going to the guy’s apartment.”

On raising her daughter: I wrote that [Dear Ijeawele] when I wasn’t a mother and it’s easier to write about a hypothetical child than to write about a real one. The child that book was addressed to is sort of an idea of a child. But having my own — you don’t realize how difficult it is day-to-day to combat negative ideas. Sometimes when you’re raising a child it’s like the universe is in a conspiracy against you. You go to the toy store looking for something not necessarily “girly” and you’re overwhelmed by the pink and the dolls. Even the prayers my daughter got from family members: They’re like, “We hope she finds a good husband.” I’m optimistic that those kinds of things will change but I think about how women are socialized — even the most resistant women still get things under our skin.

On male and female literary differences: There are many things that a famous male writer can do without worrying about the risk of not being taken seriously — if you’re interested in fashion, for example. Very often women writers have to tread much more carefully because their grip on being considered as serious — which has nothing to do with how the world is — is more tenuous. When a woman says something controversial, she’s much more likely to be criticized about her personality and even about how she looks. Not that men don’t get that, but women get it more quickly and more often. And to be specific to writing, a man can write about a subject like marriage and immediately it can be seen as an insightful take on society. But a woman writes about marriage and it’s seen as this smaller, more intimate thing. We’ve gone past the point where women are directly criticized for their subject matter, but the language used about their writing hasn’t really changed. When men and women write about similar things, what the women write is often cast in less lofty terms.

On her short story about Melania Trump: There’s a sense in which her characterization in the story still holds true for me. There’s something I feel about her and it lives in the same emotional space as compassion and pity — and that feeling has increased. Actually, when I wrote that story I thought it was about Trump’s daughter [Ivanka]. I saw the story as making a case for how he [President Trump] is unstable but is surrounded by people who are stable and reasonable, such as his daughter and his wife. There was also a very feminist take to the story’s premise, which was that the women around him know what they’re dealing with. There’s a kind of knowingness in dealing with somebody they care about but understand is crazy. I’ve since changed my mind about his daughter.
On Melania Trump: I look at pictures of her and I see great sadness. I don’t want anyone to be sad, but the idea that she might be sad about her situation is almost comforting because it reminds you that there’s still some sort of humane presence in the private space of the White House.

On being seen as a “feminist icon”: When I started, all I wanted was to write books that somebody would read. I didn’t plan to become this “feminist icon, which is something I feel uncomfortable with. People say, “This is what you’re known for.” But that’s not what I know myself for.

On motherhood and her art: I used to think I wouldn’t be a good mother because I was so dedicated to my art. I said to myself, I have nephews and nieces who I adore, and I helped raise them, so those will be my children. That’s what I thought for a long time, because I felt that I couldn’t be true to both my art and my child. Getting older [changed that]. I like to joke and say that you’re ready [to have a child] when your body isn’t ready, and when your body is ready, you’re not mentally ready. I guess you have the best eggs when you’re, like, 22, but at 22 you don’t even know yourself. Then when you’re 38 and know yourself, your eggs are not the best quality. Anyway, we’ll talk about eggs another time. But my baby happened, and it’s important to talk honestly about this, because having her changed a lot. Having a child gets in the way of writing. It does. You can’t own your time the way you used to. But the other thing that motherhood does — and I kind of feel sorry for men that they can’t have this — is open up a new emotional plane that can feed your art.

Source: http://www.vulture.com/2018/07/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-in-conversation.html

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“NIGERIAN EMPLOYERS ARE MORE INTRESTED IN AGE, MARRIGE STATUS MORE THAN EXPERTISE”- NGOZI MADUEKE-DOZIE

Ngozi Madueke-Dozie is an experienced professional in the Technology, Mobile and Entertainment eco- system. Prior to joining IFLIX as General Manager for West Africa, she served as the Consulting Country Manager and Business Development Director at Viacom, Nigeria. She also served as the Growth and Partnerships Manager for West and Central Africa for Facebook. In addition, Ngozi has worked as the Geo-Marketing Manager at MTN Nigeria and the Chief Partnerships Officer at Iroko TV. Over the years, Ngozi has gained a wealth of experience in International consulting, in-depth knowledge and exposure to the Media, Telecommunications, Technology and Mobile industries across Africa. She holds a BSc in Management Information Systems and Decision Science as well as an MSc in Systems Engineering and Engineering Management. She tells TOBI AWODIPE about age and status discrimination in the country, being the Go, Girl Woman and her struggles in career choices.

You were the Go, Girl! Woman for this month. Tell us what this was about and how it made you feel?
Go, Girl! is a woman empowerment platform that showcases women in different careers and levels and encouraging them to share their stories as well. I am honoured to be the first woman showcased on this platform, as I am always looking forward to hearing other women’s stories never realising that anyone would be particularly interested in hearing mine.

Tell us about your career journey so far?
OK, so I will skip the baby-sitting and telemarketing jobs (although I must say they both built my tolerance and perseverance). However, my first real job was with Sprint as a Network Engineer and then Databasics as a Requirements, Analysis and Design Consultant before I moved back to Nigeria and worked for Interconnect, MTN, Facebook and Viacom before my current job here at Iflix. My roles have spanned the gamut from Organisational Design and Development to Country/General Manager.

You’re in the I.T field, which is male dominated. How do you manage this experience?
To be honest, I find there is more age and status discrimination in Nigeria than gender. I find it interesting the preoccupation with your age rather than your level of expertise. I also find that one’s marital status and perhaps whether or not you have children are also meters used to determine how much respect you are accorded. It’s like there are only two categories for women, ‘small girl’ or ‘big woman’ (according to your marital status and if you have kids or not) and so I created a third for myself; ‘qualified professional,’ and I strive to make sure I live up to that in every interaction.
How are/would you encourage younger women and girls to venture into this field?
I am a mother of girls and I am raising them to pursue whatever passions they desire and not let their gender determine their careers or interest. I was raised this way, my older sister and I studied technology and engineering and my younger sister is a medical doctor. I do not adjust for gender when it comes to the capacity and capability of ones’ brain and passion and so I would say to young women to not let the world or society limit your ambition or worse, pigeonhole you to a particular career path simply because you are female.

Tell us how you cope with challenges and the burden of expectation?
One of my favourite sayings is, “To whom much is given, much is expected.” It is a blessing and responsibility to pay it forward and so I do not consider it a burden. As for expectations being a challenge, what is life without challenges? It gives one something to strive for and a sense of accomplishment when achieved.

Apart from sharing each other’s stories, what affirmative action or impacts is this having on women?
I think sharing each other’s stories is actually impactful in and of itself. It reminds you that nobody has all the answers; it frees you to accept your imperfect self and reorients one’s perspective to always approach each situation as a learning opportunity.

How do you strike the perfect work-life balance?
Ha! Is there such a thing? It is always going to be a struggle, I have come to accept and embrace the fact that I will drop a ball or two every now and again, but my work and my life are both important and so the juggling continues.

Who and what motivates or inspires you to keep going?
That’s easy, my daughters, Chizoma and Kelenna. I am fascinated that with absolutely no qualifications whatsoever, God saw it fit to give me these two human beings to be responsible for emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. Typically you do not get a job unless you have some kind of experience or qualification and so I find the blessing of being a mother to be such a vote of confidence and this inspires me everyday to be the best version of myself as that is the only way I can fulfill this responsibility successfully.

What would you tell women out there struggling with life and career choices?
To be honest, I struggled as well. I always dreaded the question “what are you passionate about?” I am passionate about running, traveling and going to the beach, but I am still yet to find anyone that will pay me to do any of those things and so perhaps I was being asked the wrong question. Instead I ask myself the following, “What are you good at”? What are your strengths? What makes you stand out? When I started answering those questions, I found it easier to navigate the types of roles and careers I was most suited for and would excel in. Besides, the world is constantly changing; the industry I work in now simply didn’t exist 15 years ago and so re-evaluating your career path every so often is also necessary to remain relevant in our rapidly changing world.

****Interview by Tobi Awodipe for Guardian Woman

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CHIKA IKE”S NEW BOOK “BOSS UP” TALKS ABOUT CONQUERING & LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE

Nollywood actress Chika Ike has just unveiled her new book ‘Boss Up!‘ in which she’ll be sharing a Guide to Conquering and Living your Best Life.
According to her, Boss Up! is a 41-chapter book that covers most of the obstacles we all confront – fear, love, money, self-esteem. Some are internal, existing only in our minds, and some are external, found in other people’s attitudes.


The book is a guide on how to overcome such obstacles by some of the lessons and experiences of Chika Ike.

The actress shared the cover of the book on her Instagram page where she wrote:
It took me over seven years of writing to finally publish Boss up! Seven years of documenting my thoughts, emotions, truth and events that taught me some life lessons and brought me to this point . Three years ago before my mum passed , she was also an author and was aware of my unpublished book, she looked at me, held my hands and told me to tell my truth.

I’m a very guarded person, my walls are up because life has thrown me so many curved balls, I brought down all my walls in this book , because the truth is we are on this earth to share and not just to take. I finally bossed up and got my book published.

Boss up is one of my ways of giving back. Telling my truth isn’t so comfortable, it has been a roller coaster ride to get here. I have failed, made mistakes, trusted, had my lows and highs. But today I stand firm, stronger than ever and living my best life.
Boss up is a 41 chapter book, which covers most of the obstacles we encounter in life, fear, convention, betrayal, love, self-esteem and money. Some are internal existing in our minds and some are external found in other people’s attitudes. It will give you a guide to conquering such obstacles and living your best life. You asked and I answered, all my tips and tricks on how I became this successful are in this book.
A girl who had nothing but just her dreams, now a successful Filmmaker, a Harvard trained business woman, philanthropist and passionate about empowering people. I remember the days I struggled to pay rent, now I don’t just live in my dream home but I also develop and rent out properties and my list is endless. So dip in with both feet and enjoy the book.From me to you with love .❤️#bossup#focus #living #conquer #book@bossupbook

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GLORY EDOZIEN: 5 THINGS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT NETWORKING

There is strategy, process and know how required to build the right relationships to boost your career.

But what are the vital elements of networking that, women, especially must know? What are the essential knowledge elements that will help us women excel at networking? I have listed 5 expert tips that EVERY WOMAN must know to crush the networking game. Check on them below

Create a networking strategy
No more going for events just for the sake of it. It’s time to get strategic! Why? Because research suggests that women, especially, find it hard to build purposeful networks. We find it easier to connect with people who are similar to us. The downside to this is since less and less women hit the highest rung of the career ladder, it means women have to work harder to find and build vital relationships for their career success. So if you are sitting down thinking that the right relationships will just fall into your laps, statistically speaking, you may be waiting a very long time. You need to intentionally build the relationships you need to succeed in the work place.

Include men in your network
If you want to succeed, you need to co-opt men. Men are not the enemy. You should ensure your network is diverse, broad and dynamic and men form a vital role in making this happen. Why? Well, men can add useful dynamics and career advice to your overall career trajectory, which women may typically miss. They can also act as great mentors and career sponsors. But which men? This is where strategy comes in. Find influential people (women and MEN) in your workplace, organization and/or sector who have achieved reputable success in an area in which you are interested in developing in, then build relationships with them

Go where the people who have achieved what you want to achieve go
Want to scale your network and connect with influential people in your sector? Then go where they go. Go for the same conferences they attend. Join the same professional associations. Read the same types of articles and industry magazines they read. If your company won’t pay for it, use your hard earned cash and attend the same international conferences that they attend and make it a priority to connect with a few of them and follow up later. The relationships you make will be yours to keep, forever, after all.

Networking, the right way, makes you visible
Have you ever asked yourself this question, “outside my office who knows about me and the work I do”? That question might not sound like much now until when you want to change jobs, switch sectors or need to know about great job opportunities. Suddenly you wish you knew the HR manager in xandx company, but then it’s a bit late, you are already in the desperate zone and need something quick. With strategic networking you should start building bridges before you need them.

You need to build a personal brand as you network
It’s good to meet and connect with new people but you know what’s even better? When people know, like and trust you, too! After all, what good is it knowing Temitope Abdul the Head of Corporate Communications for the biggest multinational company in Nigeria, if she cant remember you or what you are about? Personal branding here isn’t about packaging or being false, it’s about knowing the value you bring to an organization as a professional and understanding how to communicate that value to others. Knowing how to introduce yourself in a way that demonstrates and articulates clearly what you do as well as using social media intentionally are just some of the ways you can create and build your professional brand.

Bonus tip

Network with your peers.

When the word networking comes up, people automatically look up. It seems networking only refers to making connections with VIPs and well placed executives. You only shoot yourself in the foot, when you do this. Your peers hold vital information and access opportunities that you need, they can also form part of your inner circle and can vouch for you when the need arises.

Have a fab week everyone!

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KEMI AMUSHAN: COMING OUT STARIGHT

I just want to ask one question from our men. Aren’t you guys tired of lying to us women?

I’m not just talking about the outright lies like I am into oil and gas and also investment banking/sales and marketing or saying “I used to date a model” and all those kind of crap.
I’m talking about the one big lie most men are committing everyday: Approaching women you’re attracted to as if sex is the last thing on your mind. You all know what I’m talking about I’m sure.

You’re standing behind some girl at dominos pizza and you have this conversation: “Hey, so which of them do you like”?
You don’t actually care about the flavour! What you’re really thinking is “God damn, you’re hot! I’d like to fling that menu off your hands and make sweet love to you, right here on this counter!” right? Lol.

The vast majority of men are so worried about letting their true desires be known that they get stuck talking about absolute rubbish that goes nowhere.
Men are afraid to be honest with women about feeling attraction and they believe that if they can just befriend the woman, maybe at some point down the line they’ll have a shot at sleeping with her.

Unfortunately, this strategy usually ends up with the guys being frustrated and alone.
The reason why that happens is because when you approach a woman in this manner, we know it’s inauthentic.
Women are a lot more intuitive than men and will know straight away that the guy is not being genuine.

Men feel kind of awkward for trying to make small talks.
There’s always a little voice in their head saying “You’re full of it.”
Guys are also worried about the lady finding out why he’s really talking to her.
And that’s assuming that the guy has even taken the step of starting a conversation.
Most men will just sit around and stare at the women. In either case, it’s a pretty far cry from telling the lady the truth.

Now most guys go out of their way to avoid telling women what they really want. It’s been taught that sex is this dirty thing men trick women into doing.

Men think that they’ve got to go out and buy women lots of drinks, hoping to get lucky. Well for some cheap ladies, it works.
Men have been programmed to think that if he went up to a woman and complimented her on her looks, she’d go mental.

But we love being complimented. In fact most women are extremely flattered to be approached in this manner.

I do actually like it. Lol. But most men worry if she’s got a boyfriend or if the guy actually came with her? Rejection?
If she has a boyfriend, she’ll let you know. That’s if you meet the sincere ones that just hang out with their friends to have fun not the ones hoping to catch a fish. So yes, it’s that simple.

In my little experience, it’s very rare that a woman would get upset over being approached in such a manner.
From many hundreds of such approaches, I don’t think I’ve actually met a woman that was even mildly irritated.

As far as rejection goes: So what? Who cares? Does it really matter what some woman you don’t even know thinks? Think of all the terrible tragedies going on in the world today.

Think about all the stuff that’s happened to you over your life. Can you really tell me that the opinion of a stranger you just met matters to you so much?
We spend ages getting ourselves ready to go out. Do you really think we don’t want you guys to notice we look good?

Let me let you in on a major secret: The vast majority of women are tired of their romantic prospects beating around the bush and trying to be their “friend.” They are even more tired of their male “friends” trying to get into their pants.
When you have the balls to actually approach a woman and make your intentions clear it really gets their attention. It is bold, ballsy, and honest. Even when they have a boyfriend.

So guys, next time you see a gorgeous woman, what should you do? Tell her exactly what you’re thinking and what you want.
It’s not about using pickup lines, it’s about making your intent clear to her. “Excuse me, you look absolutely amazing. I’d love to take you out for a drink some time. When are you available?”

Not all the girls you approach will be interested in you, and you won’t be interested in some of them either, but at least you tried and came from a place of strength.
You’ve made your intentions clear and the conversation is leading somewhere: a date between you and her. It’s not going to be a 45-minute conversation that goes nowhere and at the end she reveals she’s engaged.

As you get more comfortable with interacting with women in this way, more and more of them will be immediately turned on by you being confident enough to approach them in this manner.

By showing that you’re man enough to express your true desires and intentions, not only will she have more respect for you, but she will also appreciate your honesty.
She will either tell you she’s not interested, agree to the date, or engage you in a conversation for a bit so she can determine if she’s interested.
Being up front with women isn’t an exercise, it’s a way of life!
No matter how each individual interaction goes, you manned up, told the truth, and laid it all out on the line like a man and that’s a great place to start! Trust me.
Behaving in this type of authentic manner will massively increase your confidence in all other areas of life as well.

Connecting with women is only the beginning!

Source: Guardian Woman

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MANY YOUTHS VENTURE INTO ABUSING DRUGS OUT OF FRUSTRATION, IDLENESS AND JOBLESSNESS- OLABISI OLATUNDE

Olatunde Olabisi Hawwau is a young, dynamic and resonate Nigerian. The flair for creative writing and the zeal for giving back to the society led her into studying mass Communication at the Lagos State Polytechnic where she is currently a student of Higher National Diploma Programme. OLABISI being a motivational speaker with great interest in leadership skills is also an agent of positive change who is very passionate about good governance and transparency..
She is a girl child advocate and tailored her strength towards teens mentorship and education.

The aim to empower the new generation birthed Step Up Foundation which was Olabisi’s brainchild through her love for humanitarian services.
An organization that focuses on empowering young women and driving the youths towards personal development and nation building, and most importantly helping the less privileged through empowerment. She recently launched the #StepUpagainstDrugAbuse campaign that went viral on social media where she educated the youths and society at large on the topic and also created awareness. Olabisi shares her inspiring story with me in this exclusive interview.

 

Childhood Influence
Growing up was quite tough and rough and my parent especially my mum taught me how to be STRONG in the face of all difficulties. She also taught us to share what we have with the world no matter how so little it may be.
This prepared me to always ensure that I share my little knowledge with the world, My childhood experience helped sharpened my preparedness into doing all that I do to help and contribute to the development of my community and society. Even when I never had any idea about what volunteering means but I have learnt to always step in for people who are sick and help lessen their problems if not totally solved.
While growing up, my mum would make us share our food with neighbours even when the food is so little, she would encourage us to help with assignments of other children and help the old ones in our area to fetch water, all these we did without expecting anything in return.
So, it became my way of life and got me all along while growing which metamorphosed into becoming an habit to help others even when they do not call for it.
Therefore, I can boldly say that my childhood experiences contributed immensely and actually prepared me for what I am doing right now and have been the drive towards all the idea of selfless act.

Meet me
My name is Olatunde Olabisi Hawwau. I am the founder of Step Up Foundation. I am a motivational speaker with great interest in developing leadership skills. I am an agent of positive change who is very passionate about good governance and transparency and I believe change start with me.I am committed towards rendering selfless services through volunteering of which I had effectively and distinctively volunteered for different reputable organisations such as Better society begins with me, Enough is enough Nigeria, Sickle cell aids foundation (Lagos), Brain builder international, Girl hub Africa, Eagle Foundation for Humanity, Ladies with Radiance, project Revamp Africa, to mention a few.
The flair I have for creative writing and public relations led me into studying Mass Communication which I am currently running a Higher National Diploma programme at the Lagos state Polytechnic.

Step Up foundation
The quest to put smiles on the faces of many, most especially the less privileged and love to empower the new generation inspired me start step up foundation. After much brainstorming, an idea popped up that since the motive of the team is to step up to help another and charge people to stop complaining about the society but to step up and join in making it happen for others. Hence the name Step Up Foundation became visible.
Step Up Foundation focuses on empowering young women and driving the youths towards personal development and nation building and most importantly helping the less privileged through basic educational tools which is in line with (SDG 4 – QUALITY EDUCATION), creation of awareness and empowerment programs
Since inception, Step Up Foundation has always call on vibrant and purpose driven youth to join in promoting selfless act in their society. It also encourages the introduction of positive attitude into the society by staging peaceful campaigns to enlighten the youths about volunteering and humanitarian services.

Combining school with work
There is something I have learnt so far in life and that is knowing how best to use your time. My work and schooling are two different things of which I set out the time for each. One is not affecting the other and that is because I set my priority right and straight.
When it is time to give back to the society I do that effectively well, and when time comes to study I focus on that too without limitation. Everything boils down to know what my priorities are and going for it.
Another thing that is helping me cope with the work and studies is my supportive team members. Even if I am not available my mind is always at rest because Step Up Foundation is in good hands. So, God blessed me with very supportive team members who take the vision of step up foundation as their own.These have in doubt been helping me tremendously to balance work and school.

Decision to sensitize the society on drug abuse
The drug abuse campaign focuses on educating the people on the effect of abusing drugs and how dangerous it is to their health and psychological well-being. The aim of the campaign is to influence the youths and everyone engaging in the misuse of drugs on the reasons they need to see beyond their limitations and despise drug abuse. Also, to encourage parents and guardians on proper and adequate care for their children.
Most importantly the sensitization was aimed to achieve a society free of drug abuse, more reason we keep saying it is a collective effort to curb this menace that have eaten deep in the souls of our youths.
However, the inspiration behind this campaign was my encounter with a very young lady taking marijuana and a recent documentary on codeine diet I saw. I was debated and disturbed to witness the derailing path which our promising youths most especially have embarked on. Then I realized that social media is a strong tool in the hands of Nigerian Youths of which I can use this medium. This was the main reason we adopted several platforms on social media to reach out to people on the effect and defects of drug abuse and we were glad of the positive attitude the campaign received from the public and the impacts on the target audience. This campaign also got us featured on a blog called Blackbox Nigeria and here we are again on women of rubies,

Challenges
A problem free life is an illusion. We all at a point face challenges and that is what makes life interesting when we overcome them. First and foremost funding this is always a challenge for most startups and nonprofits. Secondly, the difficulty of convincing corporate organisation to sponsor our events . When we started we propose to feed 1000 orphans in three states and our budget was 500,000. We started contributing within ourselves to finance the project but with the economic meltdown and coupled with the fact that most volunteers are student we couldn’t achieve anything with this idea. However, aborting the project doesn’t mean we didn’t achieve it, Better society begins with me did a street Christmas fair by feeding the kids on the street on Christmas day, we raise little money and send to them as a way for contributing to the society. Also the challenge of assembling volunteers for our projects

Volunteering for notable organizations
I live with this philosophy that you can’t say you live a worthwhile life if during your stay on earth you don’t help other people grow, I love helping but since I don’t have the capacity in cash as of the moment to help people why not offer my kind which is in my capacity to help others grow. That is just why I volunteer for organisation in order to reach out to people.
You see, volunteering to me is a win-win cause. While helping others you are also getting help by developing your skills one may not even think of having. The drive has always been to help and show love as much as I can. That is why you see me joining other organisations and it has been a wonderful experience for me.

Other projects and activities
After we had the online media campaign against Drug Abuse we are currently on school tours to educate the young ones on the side effect of drug abuse and teenage pregnancy in Osun state, Osogbo to be precise. Also we are planning to stage a walk against Drug Abuse in Lagos by July with focus on market place and where we can get handful of youths for positive impartation.
Also, our “Cloth and Feed The Street” will be coming up later in this year. It is project proposing to cater for 500 children living on the street. We are open to partnering with other organisations whose vision are in line with ours to reach out to people .

Greatest Reward
I believe reward comes from God and all actions are directed to be selfless without expectation of monetary or recognition from anywhere. The reward received during the course of doing my humanitarian acts may not be materially inclined but if we can count lives impacted as reward then I will say that is the greatest reward so far. People have been getting in touch on how I have impacted them through posts on my social media handles and through step up foundation.
We might not be able to help all but the little we can do we will do it with all our hearts. If lives are impacted and souls are save from going astray through our little acts no reward best suit that.
Having this opportunity to feature on women of rubies is part of reward of encouragement and a call to do more.

Step Up foundation in five years
In five years, I see step up foundation on the world map as one of the leading NON governmental organisation. I see step up foundation providing shelters for the homeless in African, I see us providing jobs that would be a point of reckoning for many.
I see step up foundation in a good place in five years with enhanced vision. In five years I see step up foundation giving life transforming opportunities to young women in Africa countries, giving voices to the voiceless. Providing quality education and helping people have a better life. I see step up foundation achieving more and more by the time we will look back to count the numbers of lives that have been positively impacted, it would be overwhelming.

Dear Mr. President,
I pray this day comes, if i ever had the opportunity to meet the president on this cause, here are what to tell him:
Your Excellency sir, based on the effects of drug abuse among the youths of today I will advise that more attention be focus on this, because youths are the leaders of tomorrow which is today. To end this menace, youths need to be adequately sensitized and given reasons to stay out of drugs by providing more job opportunities. .
Most youths in the country venture into abusing drugs out of frustration idleness and joblessness. An idle hand they say is a devil’s workshop, you will agree with me that youths are characterized with impatience of change, curiosity, and zealousness. They have different aspirations but the unavailability of grounds and platforms visualize them get them frustration and could possible lead them into drug abuse which is neither the solution nor the right thing though.
Sir, the decision which had been implemented to ban some pharmaceutical companies that are producing drugs that are capable of causing damage to the Nigeria youth is a laudable step but there still more to do to put an end to this life threatening myth.
Also, having rehabilitation centres that will help the youths who have engage in this act get proper care so as to be useful to the society is very important. Let us have a standard rehabilitation centres that will help the youths find their ways back and pick up their broken pieces.
More so, grassroots education is important too, therefore no stone should be left unturned in putting a fight up to end the menace of drug abuse claiming the lives of our future leaders. Educational groups should be formed and agencies seeing to the control of drugs under your authority should take significant steps and re strategize to ensure that everyone abides by the rules and regulations guiding the use of drugs. Fines and prosecutions may be adopted caution anyone found guilty of abusing drugs.
I want to believe that if all of these are taken into cognizance, the death rate tool towards the youth caused by the effect of drug abuse would be marginalized.

Giving up
Oh yes, there have been so sometimes I feel like giving up when things seem not to be just right and the passion and strong determination towards selfless service keep me going stronger than imagined. This thought could be inevitable in a man’s life and mine is not an exception but I never gave as I continued pushing.
Here are some instances the thought flashed. One major incident occurred when I and my team proposed an outreach to feed one thousand orphans in three different states in Nigeria, we started the plan much earlier so as not to be caught unaware, but unfortunately the project was eventually cancelled when all places solicited for funds to push through the project proved abortive.
This period really make me have a second thought if I can actually achieve aim set out for Step up foundation and even for myself.
All of these I later realized that Roses cannot always come without Bruises. Then with consistency and hard work we restrategized and I refused to let a NO or closed doors stop my aims from achieving them.

My Inspiration
My mother has always been my inspiration to be a better version of myself. I am convinced beyond any reasonable doubt that if my mother had the opportunity to acquire formal education, she would be among the leading women in the country because of her strong nature and positive vibes. She will always challenge and encourage us to be better than her in all areas. Each time I see her it reminds me of the reason why I need to strive tirelessly to be a better person in the society so as to inspire other young women never to relent in all their dealings.
My background also inspired me to be a better me. Just like I said earlier that growing up was quite demanding and tasking where you need to strive at times to fend for yourself. These entire put together had been a great inspiration for me to keep on fighting because I never wanted my background to put my back to the ground.
Also learning and looking up to women who have done great exploit in the society always inspire that if these ones can make it, likewise will I make it too. Then through my inspirations, I also strive to be a source of inspiration to those who look up to me especially my siblings.

Being a Woman of Rubies
Well, I will say what makes me a woman of Rubies is just GRACE. Then determination and consistency with hard work upon the grace fetch me this honour. I never give up so easily on the vision to strive tirelessly to attain positive growth and development towards being a better me. More so, the passion for having women live their world in peace made me realize the potentials we possess as of which can never be overemphasized and ultimately must be pursued to change the orientation of those who do not believe in the super power of a woman.
Many a time women are being brutalized physically, psychologically, and morally simply because the world has failed to appreciate their strong powers and values in developing of a country. Women are very strong and energetic creature and we will continue to be.
12. Any final word for young women who want to go into advocacy:
Advocacy is a practice that should be done with so much interest and utmost willingness to make others live and lead a better life. If anyone would go into advocacy at all, I will leave them with these [3 Cs]
The first ‘C’ is Commitment. Be committed. Commitment is a strong will that will enable one see beyond the present situation or any challenges that may pop up and channel one’s energy towards achieving the best.
And the second ‘C’ is Consistency. If one is committed and not consistent in pursuing a goal, it may likely be impossible to get there. Consistency brings about result of being committed towards a cause. Not matter what, do not give up. The effort to put beautiful smiles on any one is the greatest achievement one can ever record.
Finally, do not Compromise. This is as well very important in order not to truncate your positive vibes of advocacy.

 Final words or advice for women all over the world
Women are never a piece of furniture nor useless. It is vitally important that every woman all over the world to note that and carry it as a flag wherever they find themselves. Say it to yourself that “I can do it and I believe in myself to make impact” trust me, your believe will drive the strength to actually push through in whatever thing you have set your mind to achieve.
Then every woman should always know that “brain has no gender” the capacity of a woman is not limited to physical fitness. In as much as every individual possess that God given divine gift, irrespective of the gender, it can be used to achieve ultimately to break bounds and barriers. If all notable influential women throughout the world who have contributed remarkably to the growth and development of their society can make it happen, why can’t you too? You being a woman is not an exception to turn things around.
However, just in all you do, what people see, feel or think about you does not define who you are or what you do, rather always believe in yourself.

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