Esther Ijewere

In Interviews&profile February 22, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MEET CYNTHIA MARSHALL, THE FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN CEO OF AN NBA TEAM

Despite a slow improvement in diversity numbers, reports show that many front-office executive seats in the NBA are still filled with an overwhelming amount of white men. But, breaking the glass ceiling in a male-dominated industry is Dallas Mavericks CEO Cynthia Marshall.

Marshall, who stepped into her position last year, is the first Black woman to serve as the CEO of an NBA team. She was tapped by Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to help the organization turn its culture around after facing several allegations of sexual harassment and abuse under its former CEO Terdema Ussery.

In a recent sit down interview with TODAY’s Craig Melvin, Marshall, a former longtime executive at AT&T, said that when she first stepped into her role she initially couldn’t believe that she was actually making history.

“It was 2018,” she told Melvin. “I shouldn’t be the first of anything in 2018.”

She admits that when she first joined the Mavericks organization, she found the team’s front-office culture to be an unfriendly environment for both women and people of color. With a determination to bring about massive change, Marshall has already increased the team’s diversity numbers to now include nearly 50 percent of women in management roles.

“Diversity is being invited to the party, but inclusion is being asked to dance,” said the University of California, Berkeley graduate. “You can be at the table, but if you aren’t being asked to talk and people aren’t including you then so what.”

When asked what being a part of Black History truly means to her, Marshall responded, “I truly believe sometimes you can’t be it if you can’t see it, and you want people to see it.”

Source: BOTWC

In self development February 22, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASILELE MUNYANDI: SUBMISSION

There are many myths surrounding the term “submission” in the world today, many look at submission as a point of weakness, a point of slavery, and a place of discomfort, hence it becomes one position many don’t want to be found in.Today we look at submission from a different angle, one which may help many women not to fall short nor prey to those ahead or above them.

Submission is defined as an action of accepting or yielding to a superior force, or the will or authority of another person. And with this definition, the world today uses a certain language and tone when addressing women about submission, it is said that submission takes away your voice and will power, in turn makes one a slave, this can’t entirely be blamed on the world or society at large .But due to the fact that we live in a male dominated world and 75% of decisions are made by men. Submission from a different perspective would help us as women have a respected voice and our plight heard. I recently finished reading Michelle Obamas, “Becoming”, and in her acknowledgements, she thanks Barack for continued support and companionship, and we read in her book how Barack plays a role in her becoming the woman she is today. Michelle Obama is a woman many young women and girls look up to, and want to emulate, and this brought me to a point of looking at submission in a way very different, a way of getting support, getting a push from another and having someone support your dreams and ambitions, while they hope you become the best version of yourself.

Growing up in urban Zambia, I have seen so many women move from being a house wife to getting an education through the support of their spouces,I for one was a junior accounts clerk reporting to a management accountant who through my submitting to his authority and instruction ,gave me an opportunity to learn and improve more in my work, I was trained and equipped to take up many accounting tasks and was made ready to deliver anywhere, yes there are tough days, days you feel the pressure, days you feel the teaching is tough, but the attitude used in the process of submission will either build or crush your growth, and it builds capacity in that you don’t only better yourself but rather you learn traits that the people who have gone ahead of you , only you can make them better and work to your own growth. Submission starts in our homes ,at an early age, we are taught how to walk, to eat, to clean wash and take care of ourselves, we receive guidance on how to make sound decisions, that will help us become better people, and because we submit to that counsel we grow in mind and soul. Secondly in our professional or rather the market place, we have our bosses or directors, and supervisors who at times, we feel push us too hard, especially at a time we feel we have done enough and our best, we tend to resist, but if we did our part with the right attitude and look at them as our teachers, as people that want to see us maximize our potential, not just for the organizations but for our personal growth, we will embrace these lessons. The third place where submission is mostly misinterpreted in a life of a woman is in a love relationship.be it in marriage or courtship. I am a newly married, and a working wife, my personal experience in terms, submission has taught me a lot, it has brought me to a point of knowing my strength and limits, through taking into consideration the needs of my husband and daily taking care of his needs, which in turn has given me a different kind of perspective, he supports my endeavors and pushes me to not hold back but rather go for my dreams. Lastly I sit under the training and mentorship of a great woman of God; she is a wife, a pastor, mother and mentor, not forgetting an entrepreneur.

She is a strong woman but submits to her husband and takes counsel from those who have gone ahead of her in spiritual and personal matters, I have learnt from her zeal and approach, I see how she becomes stronger and better. I each day look at the queen of England who runs the greatest Monarchy in the world, yet married for 70 years and heeds counsel from her husband, looking at all these amazing women, all the superiors I have come across in career ,social and spiritual circles brought me to a conclusion that a place of submission doesn’t take anything away from us as women, but rather can be used as a process to learn and improve, through the lessons and advice of our superiors and predecessors, My encouragement to a girl out there, a woman who seeks to grow, don’t always look at submission as a place of denial, but rather learn from those who are above you ,and use the lessons for your growth and empowerment.

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

Photo credit: betrendsetter.com

In Editor's Choice February 18, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MEET DENISE COATES, THE HIGHEST PAID WOMAN IN THE WORLD

She built Bet365 in a Portakabin in Stoke. Now she’s paid three times more than CEO of Apple.

If Denise Coates’s record-breaking £265m pay packet was stacked up in new £50 notes it would form a tower almost twice as high as the Shard skyscraper in London.

The enormous pay package, paid to the founder and chief executive of Bet365, the online gambling business based in Stoke-on-Trent, was more than three times greater than Tim Cook earned (£80m) running Apple, the most valuable company in the world. It was 25 times more than Bob Dudley received for running BP and 55 times more than the £4.9m that Dave Lewis, the chief executive of Tesco, has to rub along on.

For Coates, the best paid female executive in the world, it was not even a one-off. A year earlier, she handed herself £217m from the profits of what remains a private family owned business, albeit one worth billions.

All the numbers associated with Bet365 are big: gamblers wagered £52.5bn with the company last year, a sum that outstrips the annual economic output of Croatia and Uruguay.

The company’s winnings on those stakes – shown as revenue in financial accounts released this week – were £2.7bn. It had an operating profit of £682m, meaning it has a staggering profit margin of 25%, far higher than traditional bookmakers saddled with the fixed cost of high street shops. Bet365’s licence to operate in the UK is, in effect, a licence to print money.

As eye-catching as Bet365’s financial performance is, it garnered far less attention than the £220m salary and £45m in dividends pocketed by Coates, who owns more than half the company. Vince Cable, the former business minister and Liberal Democrat leader, called Coates’s pay package “irresponsible and excessive”, while the High Pay Centre said it was “obscene”.

If Bet365 were listed on the stock exchange, such payouts would probably fall at the first hurdle of shareholder distaste, as seen in the revolt against the £100m bonus deal handed to the chief executive of the housebuilder Persimmon. Jeff Fairburn eventually offered to hand back £25m and make a donation to charity – but the embarrassment heaped on the company led to his departure this month.

Bet365 is the personal fiefdom of the Coates family, a business dynasty worth £5.8bn, more than Sir Richard Branson’s empire. The story of how they built their empire from a Portakabin in Stoke-on-Trent is the stuff of industry legend.

Coates’s father, Peter, the 80-year-old son of a miner, became a successful local businessman and owned a string of betting shops. But it was Coates, an econometrics graduate who, at around the turn of the millennium, became aware of the jackpot opportunity that lay online.

She bought the Bet365.com domain name from eBay for $25,000 and borrowed against the bricks-and-mortar stores to develop sports-betting technology that left slow-moving rivals in the dust.

When the likes of Ladbrokes and William Hill were buying the systems they needed from third parties, Bet365 already had them and was deploying them at great speed.

Under Coates’s stewardship, the firm married its tech advantage with shrewd marketing – the actor Ray Winstone fronts their TV campaigns tied to live sports and virtually orders viewers to make a wager: “Bet in play – now!” he growls.

But Bet365 is not just about taking a punt on the Premier League from the comfort of a sofa. Fancy a bet on the correct score in the AS Oued Ellil match against AS Marsa in Tunisia’s League 2? Or a wager on Irish club hurling, Austrian cross-country skiing, Australian political elections, Italy’s X Factor, on Vegas games or at a live online casino? Bet365 claims to have 35 million customers, which would make it the world’s biggest online gambling business.

Now the company looks poised to break into the US, via a $50m (£39m) deal with a New York casino operator designed to take advantage of the huge growth potential in the country since the supreme court repealed a decades-old ban on sports betting.

Bet365 is fast becoming Stoke’s most successful export. Its tech-based success story looms large in a city once dominated by its potteries, such as Wedgwood, Spode and Royal Doulton.

It owns the Stoke City Football Club, while many of its 4,000-member workforce are based at its sprawling headquarters near Hanley, Stoke’s de facto city centre.

Bet365 does not seem keen on media scrutiny and rarely answers inquiries, choosing to disclose only what it must in regulated filings with Companies House.

It has not, for instance, addressed any criticism of Coates’s pay deal, which some have found jarring in a week when new figures showed an alarming rise in the number of child problem gamblers.

Charles and Liz Ritchie, who founded the Gambling With Livescharity after their son, Jack, killed himself after a gambling addiction, said they found Coates’s payout “particularly upsetting” in the circumstances.

While Coates gives much of her cash to good causes, such as the Douglas Macmillan Hospice and Alzheimer’s Research UK, her foundation’s page on the Charity Commission website offers no indication of whether any of it goes to problem gambling treatment.

Her largesse is also partly funded by a relatively low UK corporation tax rate, and the company’s £78m tax contribution last year was rather less than one might expect, thanks in part to subsidiaries in jurisdictions such as Gibraltar, a haven for gambling firms.

Bet365 has also been coy about where its customers are based. A Guardian investigation in 2014 found that punters in China – where betting is banned in all but a few tightly controlled arenas – were jailed after apparently placing bets on the Bet365 website.

The company said it was not breaking any laws but would not confirm whether or not it accepted stakes.

In this week’s accounts Bet365 said disclosing any more about its regional income “would be severely prejudicial to the interests of the group”. A recruitment page reveals the company is looking for “Chinese language customer account advisors”, though it could be targeting Chinese speakers in the UK or elsewhere.

Unless Bet365 volunteers more information, it will remain one of Britain’s most opaque companies – but also one of its most successful.

Source: Guardian

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In self development February 17, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

#MONDAYMOTIVATION: HOW TO DEAL WITH PROCRASTINATION

I call this little strategy the “2–Minute Rule” and the goal is to make it easier for you to get started on the things you should be doing.

Here’s the deal…

Most of the tasks that you procrastinate on aren’t actually difficult to do — you have the talent and skills to accomplish them — you just avoid starting them for one reason or another.

The 2–Minute Rule overcomes procrastination and laziness by making it so easy to start taking action that you can’t say no.

There are two parts to the 2–Minute Rule…

Part 1 — If it takes less than two minutes, then do it now.

Part I comes from David Allen’s bestselling book, Getting Things Done.

It’s surprising how many things we put off that we could get done in two minutes or less. For example, washing your dishes immediately after your meal, tossing the laundry in the washing machine, taking out the garbage, cleaning up clutter, sending that email, and so on.

If a task takes less than two minutes to complete, then follow the rule and do it right now.

Part 2 — When you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do.

Can all of your goals be accomplished in less than two minutes? Obviously not.

But, every goal can be started in 2 minutes or less. And that’s the purpose behind this little rule.

It might sound like this strategy is too basic for your grand life goals, but I beg to differ. It works for any goal because of one simple reason: the physics of real life.

The Physics of Real Life

As Sir Isaac Newton taught us a long time ago, objects at rest tend to stay at rest and objects in motion tend to stay in motion. This is just as true for humans as it is for falling apples.

The 2–Minute Rule works for big goals as well as small goals because of the inertia of life. Once you start doing something, it’s easier to continue doing it. I love the 2–Minute Rule because it embraces the idea that all sorts of good things happen once you get started.

Want to become a better writer? Just write one sentence (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll often find yourself writing for an hour.

Want to eat healthier? Just eat one piece of fruit (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll often find yourself inspired to make a healthy salad as well.

Want to make reading a habit? Just read the first page of a new book (2–Minute Rule), and before you know it, the first three chapters have flown by.

Want to run three times a week? Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, just get your running shoes on and get out the door (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll end up putting mileage on your legs instead of popcorn in your stomach.

The most important part of any new habit is getting started — not just the first time, but each time. It’s not about performance, it’s about consistently taking action. In many ways, getting started is more important than succeeding. This is especially true in the beginning because there will be plenty of time to improve your performance later on.

The 2–Minute Rule isn’t about the results you achieve, but rather about the process of actually doing the work. It works really well for people who believe that the system is more important than the goal. The focus is on taking action and letting things flow from there.

Try It Now

I can’t guarantee whether or not the 2–Minute Rule will work for you. But, I can guarantee that it will never work if you never try it.

The problem with most articles you read, podcasts you listen to, or videos you watch is that you consume the information but never put it into practice.

I want this article to be different. I want you to actually use this information, right now.

What’s something you can do that will take you less than two minutes? Do it right now.

Anyone can spare the next 120 seconds. Use this time to get one thing done. Go.

credit: James Clear; www.jamesclear.com

In Interviews&profile February 16, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

I LEARNT NEVER TO ALLOW MY CIRCUMSTANCES INHIBIT MY GROWTH- JENNIFER CHINONYE UMEH

Like a phoenix, Jennifer is rising from the ashes of adversity and inspiring others to do so through her story. As a survivor of Domestic Violence, she believes that girls and young women access to education and health service is fundamental for sustainable development in Nigeria. Jennifer grew up in a broken home with rough experiences of abuse and neglect. Her parent divorced Nine months after her birth in Eastern Nigeria. Her Father showed no interest towards her education.

She was raised by her single mum, grand mother, uncles, aunties, and people. As a girl filled with many ambitions despite her experiences. she was determined to further her education. Today, Jennifer Umeh is a graduate of Mass communication from The Federal Polytechnic Offa. The pioneer of Hope for African Girls Initiative (HAGi) an organisation founded to Educate Girls to be empowered enough to stand up for themselves and to discover their self-identity through quality education and empowerment. She is also the founder of a fast-growing clothing brand that has received massive support from Nigerians on social media since inception . A vision that was born out of her bullying experience as an undergraduate. She shares the story of her rise from the ashes to glory in this interview

Growing up

I was raised by my single mum, grand mother, uncles, aunties, and people. As a girl filled with many ambitions despite my experiences. I was determined to further my education. With my decision making ability, i believed that if i could go to school, I could gain knowledge and skills access limitless opportunities and reach my potentials in life. As a survivor of Domestic Violence, I believe that girls and young women access to education and health service is fundamental for sustainable development in Nigeria. I grew up in a broken home with rough experiences of abuse and neglect. My parent divorced Nine months after my birth in Eastern Nigeria. My Father showed no interest towards my education, Coping With the Status Quo. I must say that even though my background is not pleasant, it stirred up such compassion for those from similar backgrounds. When I was 10years, I finally went to stay with my mum and her husband (step father) supporting her with my siblings as the eldest. All of this built a resilience within me, strengthened my heart and reminds me daily that ‘I can’! I can do anything I set my mind to. I can be the best version of Chinonye that there will ever be. I can achieve. I can inspire. Regardless of my background. We know that seeds grow best in the dirt. My background may have been messy, dirty, whatever we want to call it, but it provided the best environment for the seed within me to grow and produce more seeds to encourage others! I learnt never to allow my circumstances to inhibit my growth as a person at all! If I have a goal, I will go for it.

Meet Me!

I am a 23 year old lady, I recently graduated from The Federal Polytechnic Offa, Kwara with a Higher National Diploma in Mass communication. I am now a corps member serving at Umuokanne Comprehensive Secondary school, Ohaji, Egbema in Imo State.

I am the pioneer of Hope for African Girls Initiative (HAGi) an award winning Organisation founded to Educate Girls to be empowered enough to stand up for themselves and to discover their self-identity through quality education and empowerment.

My skills include Public speaking, Teaching, Writing, Counselling and Leadership. I am a Campus Correspondent with The Nation Newspaper and Mentor a Girl Child Fellow , Educate a girl Scholar and a fellow of Nigeria students leaders program. In 2016, my projects won the best community development project of the year organized by SLAM initiative. Recently, I was awarded the African Youth Academy Service Award, for my selfless service and contribution towards the development of young African Leaders and was granted the designation of a FELLOW of African Youth Academy. I recently launched a clothing line called Blinky Creative Collections.

H.A.G.I

I started a non-profit organization called Hope for African Girls Initiative in 2016 to transform the lives of marginalized community girls through quality education and empowerment. Our work is to promote creative learning by providing platforms for girls and young women to explore and develop their innovative ideas. Since inception, we have been able to groom young women to be responsible citizens who can actively participate and communicate with the world in a spirit of compassion.

My mission is to foster an educated and compassionate new generation of young African Girls who will use their education to improve their lives, help their country and contribute to the world to help maintain peace and prosperity for all. My focus is on educating the girls and also educating their families and communities and improving their support system.

My Inspiration

The inspiration was after I attended the ‘Educate a Girl Nigeria’ workshop in Lagos. The workshop was an eye-opener for me as I became aware of too many illicit behaviours bedeviling the girl-child around the world such as child marriage, sexual assault, violence against girls, and lack of access to education, among others. I saw the need to help young people, I desired to speak out so that my voice to be heard. I said to myself, if only my voice could change the status quo of girls in Africa, why should I hold back. I approached some NGOs indicating my interest to serve as a volunteer. But to ensure I have a louder voice and a wider reach, I founded Hope for African Girls Initiative (HAGi) at the beginning of this year. As an undergraduate then, I was motivated to work in places where I could contribute and provide value. I have performed excellently in different roles like taking care of children in my church, and taking up leadership positions in my school and any organization I found myself.

Launching a clothing line

As an undergraduate, life was good. I was more extroverted, I made new friends. Although, it was also a time of bullying for me. I blink frequently when I speak. I never got bullied over it. People who know me or have met me before understand how my eyes work while I talk, even if most times, I try to control it.

In my 300 level in school, I was faced with the challenge of speaking up for what is right, even when over 200 students in my class refused to talk because of fear and intimidation from lecturers. But I decided to speak up that day to the chagrin of the naysayers even if my voice made no difference to the situation.

After that, the friends of the guy who was involved in this case formed a gang against me. They made mockery of me in class. I couldn’t walk in peace on campus without being bullied by those guys. And as days passed, their gang multiplied with fans. The bullying continued in different WhatsApp groups and while lectures went on.

The group dissed me right in my face. I was heartbroken and I didn’t know what to do. But it was only the beginning. The group tormented me. They named me Blinky-Blinky. They called me terrible names – some, curse words – and spread sexual rumours about me. I almost became insane that when I got back from school one day, I ran to my room and cried. I stayed in my room and drowned in tears for hours. That was when I decided to take the law into my hands with the help of a friend who stood up for me whenever I was bullied. He encouraged me to report to the security unit before it went out of hand. I did so and the guys were picked up by the school security. It was never intentional but these things were out of my control. Many students face trauma like this but they have no way of handling it; they end up becoming losers. I finally felt good knowing that I had a voice. Most of my course mates were so proud of me for the move. I was with new friends who liked me for who I was. But I knew the fight was not finished. One day the worst happened; I was bullied right in the lecture hall when a lecture was going on. As one of them shouted ‘Blinky,’ they laughed and distracted the lecture. I could do nothing but allow the tears from my eyes. When I got home that day, I thought of the best way to deal my bullies.

I customised T-shirts and wore them to school. I gave some to my friends to put on. On the T-shirts read, Blinky Smart, Blinky Beauty, Blinky Money, Blinky Blinky, Bullying Ends With Me, Blink Against Bullying, etc.

My T-shirts garnered some fans. I sold them not only to my course mates but to my friends on Facebook. Boom! It became a business. I was happy as I was making money from it. I started helping people to customise their shirts for free. I did both free and paid jobs depending on who I was dealing with.

I went the market where they sold hand-me-downs and selected the good ones. At home I washed them, ironed them, customised and sold to friends. The demands got higher as people asked for something better. I pitched my idea on Facebook about my interest in shirts business and I was lucky to get selected by Edu Shine Foundation. I was funded with fifty thousand naira to support my business. I registered for printing training where I learnt more about shirt printing and branding. I graduated from using hand-me-down T-shirts for my customers to using jersey. But today, my shirts are brand new, 100% cotton material with warranty.

The business helped me a lot to overcome my bullies. I did not just overcome them; I have made money to pay my remaining fees and for my needs as a student. I have assisted two of my friends to pay their tuition, too.

When I got bullied then, I got offended and asked God to take my life. Do you know how it feels to be bullied by the same group of people with a specific motive? Most nights I felt like crying my eyes out. I asked myself, Just because I blink my eyes frequently when I talk, does that mean I am not equal to others? I tried to control the blinking but I can’t cheat nature. I never created myself. God did.

Blink against Bullying Project

I recently launched a campaign Blink against bullying. It’s a campaign to eradicate all forms of bullying and empower the victims with knowledge as weapons to fight back against oppression. I am currently running a 30 days self-esteem challenge for Students of Umuokanne Comprehensive Secondary School in Imo State, the program is designed to raise the self-esteem of young females in Africa and around the world. It is aimed at emboldening females to self belief, imagine and pursue a future of greatness. To achieve this goal, we have developed a 30 day self esteem handbook containing 30 inspiring stories of African Females from different ages, background and cultures who defied odds and societal stereotypes to achieve greatness and their dreams.

My brand in the next five years..

In five years, I want to be able to get bigger contract from big companies and organisations. I want to own a big fashion house, where I can print all kind of T-shirts, Polos , Hoodie with no restrictions. I want to champion the war against bullying by making different designs of beautiful Tees that people can order on our website and rock to promote the fight against bullying.

Challenges

I had many challenges running my new enterprise, from being confused about if my business was worth focusing on to how to get new customers and grown the business larger, to dealing with branding with people’s feedback on what I was going.

Tara Durotoye is my biggest Inspiration

Tara Fela Durotoye inspires me. She started house of Tara in 1998 at the age of 20 from her living room, as an undergraduate at Lagos State University. Sometimes she would go from house to house to makeup for brides. But today she has one of the biggest and the first makeup school in Nigeria. She worked hard for it. I am really inspired by her story.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am a woman of Rubies because I share similar stories, challenges, pains and scars with other women in Africa trying to make a difference and live a life of true meaning. I am a woman of rubies because I care about helping girls and young women to be better

Advice to young women

I just want to encourage women who are going through some similar experience. It gets better. It can be hard. You want to give up. But you have to be confident. Don’t let it get to you. If you’re suffering, it will get to the time that you’ll be proud of yourself for all that you’ve been through. If anyone judges you, it is their own problem. They have no idea what you go through. Do they even care? They probably can’t even handle what you deal with. But you can. And you’re still here going on with your life. That’s why you can be proud of yourself.

Business line : 08139743651

Facebook : Blinky Creative Collections

Twitter and instagram : @Blinkycollections

Email : Blinkycollections@gmail.com

Website : www.blinkycollections.com

In self development February 15, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

HOW TO STAY POSITIVE AFTER BREAKING UP

As you fall more and more in love, there’s a chance something will come along that sabotages this connection. Maybe it’s a communication issue, or something more serious, such as infidelity or family problems. No matter how hard the couple tries to salvage the relationship, it can still ultimately end in a breakup…and heartache.

Depending on why you and your love broke up, here are tips to feeling positive and as happy as possible after your relationship ends:

Breaking up because you’re incompatible

Many relationships end because the couple is not compatible in one or more ways. Maybe you want marriage but he doesn’t. Maybe he’s not willing to move for your work. Whatever the reason, coming to a point where you realize you both just aren’t compatible usually occurs after the infatuation stage starts to fade. You both realize that the kisses and handholding was really all there was to this relationship.

You’ll undoubtedly feel like breaking up was the best option, but you’ll still feel heartbroken. Here are ways to heal after breaking off an incompatible relationship:

Relax and realize the breakup is no one’s fault – some people are not meant to be together.

Make your life exciting again by getting back into your hobbies and interests (and finding new ones).

When friends or family ask about the relationship, don’t talk negatively about your former parter. Simply explain why you broke up, then change the subject.

It will take time to heal, but knowing that the relationship wouldn’t have worked anyway will help you feel positive.

Ending a miserable relationship

If the relationship is miserable, breaking up is the right thing to do. It can still take its toll on one or both people because it wasnt all bad. A miserable relationship can mean many things: maybe you need more independence or just can’t stand being around someone who is so negative.

Even if the relationship was miserable, there were parts that made you happy which will make the breakup tough. Be sure to do the following to heal after breaking off a miserable relationship:

Lean on family and friends and accept their kind words.

Avoid more misery by giving in or begging the other person to change.

Find a passion that will replace being miserable. Some people may enjoy volunteering and others may want to get a pet.

When infidelity ends a relationship

One of the most common causes of a breakup is because of infidelity. If one partner was unfaithful and the other has a difficult time forgiving, a breakup usually follows. The person who was unfaithful needs to take responsibility and figure out how to prevent this from happening again in future relationships. The person who remained faithful should learn from the experience without developing bitterness that will prevent a happy, loving relationship after taking time to heal.

Here are ways to stay positive after breaking off an unfaithful relationship:

Never take the blame for the other person being unfaithful. If there was a problem, it should have been discussed and not “solved” by seeking love outside the relationship.

Take stock of personal, positive attributes – learn to see the good in yourself.

Get support from counseling.

Build an ego without being too self-centered. This may involve taking a class and learning something new or getting a makeover.

Make (and achieve) personal and positive goals.

After a breakup, everyone needs time to heal. Whether the relationship ended because of incompatibility, being miserable or infidelity, it’s a good idea to focus on personal positives before getting involved in another relationship. Use these tips to help you heal, stay positive and move past your heartbreak.

Source: https://familyshare.com/27456/how-to-stay-positive-after-breaking-up

In self development February 15, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASILELE MUNYANDI: PITY PARTIES (MY KIND OF PARTY)

It was 5 o’clock in the morning of July in 2008,my good friend joy called me to inform me that acca had released results for our June sitting, and she was so excited because of all four papers we sat for ,she cleared all. I was so happy for her and at the same time, a great deal of anxiety filled my whole system. Lying on my bed I couldn’t wait for 8 o’clock so I could go to the nearest café and check for my results. That semester I sat for three papers and I cleared one only, I remember sitting in the internet café ,wondering what to do from that point, how I would break the news to my parents, how I would tell my friends I had failed when they all had cleared their exams.it tore me apart and pushed me into a kind of frustration that awarded me an opportunity to throw the biggest party ever, “the pity party”

I remember how for almost a month all I could do was wonder why me, I felt it was unfair because according to me, I had put in my very best and I deserved to clear, I shut out every possible help to pick myself up and think of the way forward, it was like no one understood what I was going through but myself, I looked at every one as though all they did was mock me and not see my frustration. For a moment I really felt I was entitled to all hurt and pain and everyone should let me enjoy it because it was my pain and hurt, no matter how long it took, I should be left alone in it.

Pity parties may seem ok, and the world knows a woman for hosting the best ones….hahahaha ,but truth be told, we are living in a time where invitations to a pity party are never accepted, cry it out, but wake up, dress up and start over, we live in times where we are constantly reminded that the world owes us nothing, hence when we fall, even on our faces, we need to find courage, and pace to move forward, for those that hurt or disappoint us, for all those that betray us, not even when we feel we need the apology ,will it always come, what we need is to find a place within yourself to dust yourself up and rise up, push until your circumstance move. I recall receiving a call from a friend I least expected, and the question that made me put myself together and get back to the drawing board was, who do you expect to apologize for your failure? And who do you expect to make it right if you won’t own up and do the right thing???i remember their words often when I feel low or rather want to give up, i remember he said, the world owes you no apology nor sympathy, if you need change, there is still a great chance to study hard and make it, but if the music at your pity parties is enjoyable, know you will party yourself into failure and serious depression.

Ladies, we need to get out of our entitlement mode and be willing to put in the hard work, we need to stop expecting the world around us to always understand our plight, mediocrity is slowly being dealt away with, and soon, not even

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

In Interviews&profile February 14, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

14-YEAR OLD ACTRESS TURNED ENTREPRENEUR BECOMES YOUNGEST PERSON TO SIGN A FIRST LOOK DEAL WITH UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

Marsai Martin, a 14-year-old African-American actress, is now a successful entrepreneur. She has recently signed a first-look production agreement with Universal Studios, making her the youngest person to do so!

Along with her own company Genius Productions, she partnered with the film studio giant where she will develop original content and hopefully provide opportunities for other young actors.

Martin, who was known for her role on ABC’s Black-ish, will serve as a writer for scripted projects alongside Genius Productions co-founder Joshua Martin, VP Carol Martin, and head of creative Prince Baggett.

The first film they will produce under the deal is entitled Step Monster, a comedy film about a teenage girl — that will be played by her — who is adjusting to life with a new stepmother.

Universal Pictures president Peter Cramer knew it was a great decision to partner with the young entrepreneur. He said in a statement, in part, “She is not only tremendously talented in front of the camera, but offers a unique perspective as a creator and producer that will resonate with all audiences.”

Martin couldn’t help her excitement in being a part of inspiring diverse and young ideas even behind the cameras.

“I am so excited for the magic I’ll be able to create and produce with Universal,” Martin said in a statement. “My goal is to show young women and girls that our voices and ideas matter and you are never too young to dream BIG!”

In self development February 14, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

OYIBO HOSANNA: WHY YOU NEED A DETOX

Either as a single or married woman, working class or full time wife, daily you are in contact with harmful organisms, and toxins that pose a threat to your wellbeing.

Detoxification is the cleansing and nourishing the body from the inside out, by removing and eliminating toxins, then feeding your body with healthy nutrients. Our body has a natural detoxification system that functions to clear these toxins, but you can increase its efficiency by timely nutritional and lifestyle changes.

These toxins are in your water, food, and the air you breathe; it’s tough trying to get away from them, but you can have a defense against them. They include metals, chemicals, pollutants, artificial food additives, pesticides, and herbicides.

SIGNS THAT YOUR BODY IS SCREAMING FOR A DETOX

You frequently feel tired and stressed.
You experience unexplained headaches, mental confusion and lack of enthusiasm.
You repetitively feel colds and contract infections.
You have puffy eyes and distress sleeping.
You’re not at your ideal weight and experience irregular menstrual cycle
You have allergic breakouts and blemishes.
You’re exposed to common environmental toxins via smokes, household chemicals (perfumes, shampoos, paints etc.
You consume a high amount of fried foods, fast and processed foods
You always have irregular stomach bloating, indigestion and difficulty in defecating.

If you experience any three or more signs above, a detox is surely needed.

WELLNESS CUES: HOW TO DETOX

Having known the signs to watch out for, don’t you think you owe it to yourself to purify your body? Here are wellness cues on how to cleanse, balance and energize your body.

Increase your Water Intake. Your body basal function is driven by water, hence you can see it as the most valuable tool for detoxifying your body; we are advised to consume a minimum of 3-5 liters of water daily to aid its detoxifying function. Water first in the morning and last at night.
Decide to Eat Rightly. Choose to eat freshly cooked meals with organic fruits and vegetables over processed, fast food, alcohol, coffee, cigarettes, refined sugars, and saturated fats.
Detoxifying your body is not only about what you avoid, but also about what you consume. Fasting and adding natural foods like fiber foods, garlic, vegetable stews, cabbage, lemon, bitter leaf, broccoli and drinking green tea is vital in detoxification.
Develop an exercise and meditation routine to help you sweat out, release toxins through your skin pores, improve your mental attitude positively and boost your body energy levels.
Keep the Environments Air Clean. You can’t control the air in the environment you move in, but you can control the air in your home to reduce the number of smoke fumes, mold, mildew, and other microorganisms that are dangerous to your health.
Visit a Spa. The use of natural green herbs, brushing and oiling of your skin helps your skin peel off old cells and dirt, unclog skin pores to allowing the skin to perspire freely, which in turn stimulates cellular rejuvenation and slows aging.
Body Detox Packs. There are nutritional packs that offer a complete body detox, it is a step-by-step process of drinking health products that focuses on cleansing organs of the excretory systems (lungs, colon, skin, liver, and kidneys) of harmful organisms, chemicals, and toxic metals. Consult your doctor before using any health detox packs.

BENEFITS OF DETOXIFYING

It protects you from disease and refuels your body to maintain optimum health
Helps your body organs rest through fasting
Promotes the ease of elimination of body wastes from the excretory system.
Improves blood flow and mental alertness.
It provides your body with healthy nutrients that protect against free radicals, strengthening the immune system.

The source of many health problems is the toxins that have built up in our bodies over the years; to stay healthy and enjoy total wellbeing, DETOX.

About Hosanna

I am Hosanna Oyibo, a Public Health Coach. I am an avid reader, personal development enthusiast, network marketing professional and a volunteer. I’m also interested in travelling, gardening, and sports. You can read about me and visit my blog with a click on this link https://about.me/hosannaoyibo.

In Interviews&profile February 13, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

#PROFILE| AGELESS BEAUTY REGINA HALL

Regina Hall 48, was born in Washington, D.C., to Ruby, a teacher, and Odie Hall, a contractor. She graduated from Fordham University with a degree in English Language in 1992. At 26, she began appearing in commercials, and then made the transition into movies. She has starred in several movie productions including the series Ally McBeal (2001–2002), The Best Man (1999) and its sequel The Best Man Holiday (2013), Love & Basketball (2000), Malibu’s Most Wanted (2003), Think Like a Man (2012) and its sequel Think Like a Man Too (2014), About Last Night (2014), Vacation (2015), Girls Trip (2017), The Hate U Give (2018) and Little (2019).

Prior to pursuing acting professionally, she made a detour from journalism, having earned a master’s degree in the profession from New York State University.

“One of the reasons why I pursued journalism is because I read Alexis de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America, which weighed heavy on me a lot. It talked about the importance of journalism to democracy, and the responsibility a journalist had in what they wrote — the truth they uncovered. I thought it was such an honourable profession, and I still do. I didn’t pursue it because my dad had a stroke and life took me in a different direction. With everything going on politically, I value journalism even more and realise how difficult the job is — the risks they take in their life, what it takes to sit down and write a story. I’m very conscious about my news sources, too. I know a lot of people who only get their news from Facebook. I can’t imagine that. I probably love journalism even more, now. There’s days where I’d be like, “Ah, I’d want to tell that story,” because it’s so imperative. I don’t think people realise how connected journalism is to freedom of speech — they just think about what they want to say personally. Democracy is so connected to our press.”

Speaking on her decision to become a nun at 40, she says

“I wanted to do it because I find that my happiest places are when I’m in a really spiritual place. It’s almost like the rest of the world becomes background.”

More reason why we love Regina Hall are:

She is committed to volunteering for senior citizens.

She is the first African-American to win the New York Critics Circle Award for Best Actress.

She has won the Boston Online Film Critics Association Award for Best Ensemble, New York Film Critics Circle Award for Best Actress,
Vancouver Film Critics Circle Award for Best Actress for the movie Naked (2017).

She has won the African-American Film Critics Association Award for Best Actress for the movie Girl’s Trip (2018)

She is 49 and flawless!

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