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Women of Rubies

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Esther Ijewere

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Abiodun Alabi is our debut WORrior on this week’s  7 questions.

Abiodun has over 6 years experience as Human Resources Generalist Personnel. Currently, Abiodun is the founder of Motherhoodng, a social enterprise that is setup to raise group of mothers in every city in Nigeria.

Abiodun’s mission is  is to run maternal health campaign and sensitisation in communities and social media that provides information to mothers and to-be mothers.

She  holds a Bachelor degree in Business administration and Management. She is an associate member of Chartered Institute of Personnel management (CIPM) of Nigeria and Nigerian Institute of Training and Development.

Abiodun, is driven by her passion to support mothers at the delicate stage of childbirth and parenting in their motherhood journey. She answers our 7 thought provoking questions in this interview.

1. What is your biggest fear?

My greatest fear is to look back many years down the line and regret not doing something because I was afraid that it will not be successful.

2. In your darkest moments, what do you do?

I have experienced such times in life and the God factor remain my strength through them all. Also, I analyse the situation, to pick one or two lessons as I move forward, then I consistently soak my mind with positive words by listening to worship songs, positive affirmations that address the situation am going through, seek God intervention and visualize the victory am expecting.

3. What is that one thing you would like to change about yourself?
Trusting people so easily.

4. Where do you see yourself five years from now?
Looking back over some years, I would never have predicted that at this point in my life I’d be doing the kind of great work I do. Given the pace of change these days I would not presume to say that I know what I’ll be doing in the next five years. However, in the next five years I know I’ll be working hard on something that will positively impact womanhood at large, alongside smart and committed people.

5. What keeps you going in?

My determination to make positive impact in life in any way and the goal to be the first role model for my children.

6. What is your stand on feminism?  Do you consider yourself a feminist?

I stand for feminism because it is about equal rights and opportunities for both genders. I connect with anything that bring joy or goodness to women’s world.

7. What keeps you up at night?

Quest for personal development and fulfilling my purpose in life.

Send a mail to info@womenofrubies.com if you would like to be featured on #7QUESTIONS

 

The world said goodbye to Holly Butcher, a 27-year-old woman from Grafton, Australia.

Butcher had been battling Ewing’s sarcoma, a rare bone cancer that predominantly affects young people. In a statement posted on Butcher’s memorialized Facebook account, her brother, Dean, and partner, Luke, confirmed the heartbreaking news to friends.

“It is with great sadness that we announce Holly’s passing in the early hours of this morning,” they wrote on Jan. 4, 2018. “After enduring so much, it was finally time for her to say goodbye to us all. The end was short and peaceful; she looked serene when we kissed her forehead and said our final farewells. As you would expect, Holly prepared a short message for you all, which will be posted above.”

Butcher’s message, which Dean and Luke did, in fact, post publicly shortly thereafter, has brought the internet to tears.

We believe her powerful message — which has amassed an incredible 72,000 Likes and 56,000 shares across the world so far — deserves to be spread far and wide.

Butcher used her final post to reflect on what she’s learned in her short but beautiful life, offering some advice to those of us who are willing to listen.

“It’s a strange thing to [realize] and accept your mortality at 26 years young,” she began. “I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and gray — most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.”

Butcher’s poignant post is definitely worth reading in full. But here are 16 especially powerful points:

1. “I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all, so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. … Those times you are [whining] about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s OK to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people’s days.”

2. “Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that — breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. … I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.”

3. “I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise — be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them. .. Appreciate your good health and functioning body — even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is.”

4. “Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; more than I could ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.”

5. “This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus, imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves … strange! … but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. … Anyway, moral of the story — presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas.”

6. “Use your money on experiences … or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.”

7. “Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.”

8. “Listen to music … really listen. Music is therapy.”

9. “Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.”

10. “Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing OK?”

11. “Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.”

12. “Work to live, don’t live to work.”

13. “Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.”

14. “Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life. You might want a mediocre life and that is so OK.”

15. “Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.”

16. “Oh and one last thing. If you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year — a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.”

Butcher may be gone, but her impact will live on in the hearts and minds of people around the world.

“Never [met] her, but I am very touched and in tears,” one Facebook user commented. “Such a bright light for a seemingly dark world at times,” another chimed in. “Beautiful.”

What a wise soul she is,” someone concluded. “I’m off to donate my blood.”

Rest in peace, Holly. You made this world a better place. ❤️

 

I consider my home a platform to practice my leadership skills, so I am very intentional about that

Goodness gracious, I was just frustrated.

I had made up my mind that if it persisted, I would fire her and hire another. However, somewhere inside, I feared the possibility of hiring someone even worse. I mean, there were no guarantees, no way to know them until after they start working for you. So, you know, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t.

What am I on about? My domestic help.

I had done all the right things, from before the recruitment process up until creating the right job description and aid for her. Why was she slacking so much still, being half as efficient as I expected her to be? And worse, I was comparing her to my previous help.

Thankfully, before I made the decision to fire her, I did a quick self-audit of my person and processes as a boss at home, and received sense. One of the biggest lessons from all my many investments in leadership is that when things are going awry, the first person to check is the leader. When a leader gets better, chances are that everyone and everything gets better (learned that from one of my leadership podcasts).

I consider my home a platform to practice my leadership skills, so I am very intentional about that.

The result of my self-audit was humbling. I was doing OK until it came to monitoring. I had delegated and then abdicated complete responsibility to someone who was not ready for it, and who was not mature enough to work well without supervision (like most people write on their CV).

Plus, in all fairness, since she resumed work at mines four months ago, I had been so slammed with life that I hadn’t even taken the time to properly train her like I trained the previous help, who, by the way, was older and more mature. I just handed her a list with instructions and threw her right into the middle of the sea to find her way to shore.

So for all her slacking—and though she deserves some of the blame—it was really my fault. I started to make amends immediately. They were sure to cost me more time on the short run, but if I handled it right, it would buy me more time on the long run.

I am a long run kinda chick, so I wore my big girl boss panties. I decided that I would put in the work and time it demanded to supervise and evaluate her work every single morning, evening, and as need be. Since I already had a list, I just needed to follow my own list.

Mondays, you are to clean the toilets and mop the stairs, among other chores. Monday morning, we both go over the list together. I read it out and make sure she gets it all.

When I go into the toilet at some point in the day, I take my time to supervise that work. If it isn’t done right, I call her back to do it and show her how to get it done. So some processes need to be worked on before the end of the day.

Monday night, we go to the list again. “Did you do XYZ?” If yes, fine. We go through those tasks to be sure they were done right. If no, and for no sensible reason, I make sure she does it before she sleeps. I am not being wicked, I am being a good leader.

Consistency is very important in leadership, and if people see your inconsistency, they will not take you and things you tell them to do seriously. In fact, you will be considered a weak leader, even if they do not say it that way. So I don’t have a problem with getting you to complete the work you were to do during the day and didn’t do at night after the kids have gone to bed, so long as it doesn’t put you at risk or in danger.

For example, if you were to do a task outside the home, I would not send you out late to do it, but I would be sure to mention your slack and my unhappiness about it and insist you do it the next day.

Things started to change after that. Knowing that there was someone on her tail, she started to carry out her tasks both in a timely and efficient manner. We are still in the first few days of doing that, so I am still very closely monitoring (and low-key griping about how much time this is taking me). The good thing is that this will not be the case for too long. After some time, I can ease up to doing this monitoring three times a week, then once a week, and maybe once a month. But I cannot afford to completely abdicate again.

My check-ins too will be random, so she is not exactly preparing for it, and if this process is done right, complete with rewards and penalties, things should be running as smoothly as I would want on the home front in a couple of months. And then I can ease up and invest my time in other things like my at-home business, my kids, or sleep without wondering if she actually cleaned under the bed Tuesday this week.

Ok, so now, your turn.

You are not just a stay-at-home parent, honey. You are a leader at home. You provide leadership for your kids, your husband (yes, because in some matters, you are boss and that is okay if you navigate it with wisdom), your domestic help and any other person that lives in your home.

The principle behind leading your domestic staff right also can apply to every other human relationship in your home. Again, wisdom.

And when it comes to your domestic help, hire right and be sure that before you fire, you have checked yourself to be sure that the fault is not really yours.

Cheers to rocking out that domestic kingdom like a boss, and with the right tools of leadership.

Let me know how this helps you. Email is eziaha@eziaha.com

Source: Bellanaija

The lifelong dream of American actress Racquel Bailey to star in a Tyler Perry project, has finally come true.

The actress got a lot of attention, including from Perry, earlier this year when she took out a billboard announcing her as the his “next leading lady”.

According to TMZ, Bailey has actually landed a role in Perry’s new TV project, “Sistas”, in which she will appear as a police officer who had a relationship with one of the show’s leads.

Back in June, Perry, 49, shared a photo of the billboard on Instagram, but advised people to save their money and audition instead, to stand a chance to star in any of his projects.

Perry pointed out that this “is the third time that someone has done this,” telling actors, “This is not the way to get my attention if you’re looking for a role in one of my shows.”

“Again, the best way to work for me is to AUDITION and it’s FREE! We post breakdowns all the time for actors. JUST COME AND AUDITION,” he wrote.

Bailey is expected to appear in the first season finale, and possible in Season 2.

Photo credit: @iamraquelbailey

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On the occasion of International Women’s Day (IWD) celebrated this March 8 around the world, several voices are rising to claim better places for women. In most countries, it is difficult to find a parity. But in Africa, there is one exception: Rwanda.

With more than 61% of women in the Chamber of Deputies, the country is at the top of the world rankings. A country that remains a model in several fields.

But in the case of women’s representation in the Assembly, it is a reference case. While they already had a respectable place in some key institutions, women saw their numbers increase in recent elections in 2013.

Of the 80 seats in the Rwandan Parliament, 51 are occupied by women. Since 2008, Rwanda has been at the top of the IPU (Interparliamentary Union) world ranking of women in national parliaments.

An important place reserved for women which is the fruit of several initiatives taken for decades. After the 1994 genocide that killed 800,000 people, several laws that have been adopted, go in favor of parity.

For illustration, the new Constitution adopted in 2003 establishes as a fundamental principle the equality between men and women with “the attribution of at least 30% of the posts to the women in the decision-making institutions of the State”.

Since then, the electoral system has been respected to the letter with 24 seats reserved for women. These are chosen, in theory, on non-partisan bases, by colleges and councils at the local and national levels.

Despite prejudices, it must be recognized that it was the Rwandan women themselves who had to struggle to win.