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Women of Rubies

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Esther Ijewere

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The world said goodbye to Holly Butcher, a 27-year-old woman from Grafton, Australia.

Butcher had been battling Ewing’s sarcoma, a rare bone cancer that predominantly affects young people. In a statement posted on Butcher’s memorialized Facebook account, her brother, Dean, and partner, Luke, confirmed the heartbreaking news to friends.

“It is with great sadness that we announce Holly’s passing in the early hours of this morning,” they wrote on Jan. 4, 2018. “After enduring so much, it was finally time for her to say goodbye to us all. The end was short and peaceful; she looked serene when we kissed her forehead and said our final farewells. As you would expect, Holly prepared a short message for you all, which will be posted above.”

Butcher’s message, which Dean and Luke did, in fact, post publicly shortly thereafter, has brought the internet to tears.

We believe her powerful message — which has amassed an incredible 72,000 Likes and 56,000 shares across the world so far — deserves to be spread far and wide.

Butcher used her final post to reflect on what she’s learned in her short but beautiful life, offering some advice to those of us who are willing to listen.

“It’s a strange thing to [realize] and accept your mortality at 26 years young,” she began. “I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and gray — most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.”

Butcher’s poignant post is definitely worth reading in full. But here are 16 especially powerful points:

1. “I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all, so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. … Those times you are [whining] about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s OK to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people’s days.”

2. “Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that — breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. … I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.”

3. “I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise — be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them. .. Appreciate your good health and functioning body — even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is.”

4. “Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; more than I could ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

5. “This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus, imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves … strange! … but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. … Anyway, moral of the story — presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas.”

6. “Use your money on experiences … or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.”

7. “Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.”

8. “Listen to music … really listen. Music is therapy.”

9. “Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.”

10. “Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing OK?”

11. “Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.”

12. “Work to live, don’t live to work.”

13. “Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.”

14. “Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life. You might want a mediocre life and that is so OK.”

15. “Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.”

16. “Oh and one last thing. If you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year — a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.”

Butcher may be gone, but her impact will live on in the hearts and minds of people around the world.

“Never [met] her, but I am very touched and in tears,” one Facebook user commented. “Such a bright light for a seemingly dark world at times,” another chimed in. “Beautiful.”

What a wise soul she is,” someone concluded. “I’m off to donate my blood.”

Rest in peace, Holly. You made this world a better place. ❤️

 

I consider my home a platform to practice my leadership skills, so I am very intentional about that

Goodness gracious, I was just frustrated.

I had made up my mind that if it persisted, I would fire her and hire another. However, somewhere inside, I feared the possibility of hiring someone even worse. I mean, there were no guarantees, no way to know them until after they start working for you. So, you know, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t.

What am I on about? My domestic help.

I had done all the right things, from before the recruitment process up until creating the right job description and aid for her. Why was she slacking so much still, being half as efficient as I expected her to be? And worse, I was comparing her to my previous help.

Thankfully, before I made the decision to fire her, I did a quick self-audit of my person and processes as a boss at home, and received sense. One of the biggest lessons from all my many investments in leadership is that when things are going awry, the first person to check is the leader. When a leader gets better, chances are that everyone and everything gets better (learned that from one of my leadership podcasts).

I consider my home a platform to practice my leadership skills, so I am very intentional about that.

The result of my self-audit was humbling. I was doing OK until it came to monitoring. I had delegated and then abdicated complete responsibility to someone who was not ready for it, and who was not mature enough to work well without supervision (like most people write on their CV).

Plus, in all fairness, since she resumed work at mines four months ago, I had been so slammed with life that I hadn’t even taken the time to properly train her like I trained the previous help, who, by the way, was older and more mature. I just handed her a list with instructions and threw her right into the middle of the sea to find her way to shore.

So for all her slacking—and though she deserves some of the blame—it was really my fault. I started to make amends immediately. They were sure to cost me more time on the short run, but if I handled it right, it would buy me more time on the long run.

I am a long run kinda chick, so I wore my big girl boss panties. I decided that I would put in the work and time it demanded to supervise and evaluate her work every single morning, evening, and as need be. Since I already had a list, I just needed to follow my own list.

Mondays, you are to clean the toilets and mop the stairs, among other chores. Monday morning, we both go over the list together. I read it out and make sure she gets it all.

When I go into the toilet at some point in the day, I take my time to supervise that work. If it isn’t done right, I call her back to do it and show her how to get it done. So some processes need to be worked on before the end of the day.

Monday night, we go to the list again. “Did you do XYZ?” If yes, fine. We go through those tasks to be sure they were done right. If no, and for no sensible reason, I make sure she does it before she sleeps. I am not being wicked, I am being a good leader.

Consistency is very important in leadership, and if people see your inconsistency, they will not take you and things you tell them to do seriously. In fact, you will be considered a weak leader, even if they do not say it that way. So I don’t have a problem with getting you to complete the work you were to do during the day and didn’t do at night after the kids have gone to bed, so long as it doesn’t put you at risk or in danger.

For example, if you were to do a task outside the home, I would not send you out late to do it, but I would be sure to mention your slack and my unhappiness about it and insist you do it the next day.

Things started to change after that. Knowing that there was someone on her tail, she started to carry out her tasks both in a timely and efficient manner. We are still in the first few days of doing that, so I am still very closely monitoring (and low-key griping about how much time this is taking me). The good thing is that this will not be the case for too long. After some time, I can ease up to doing this monitoring three times a week, then once a week, and maybe once a month. But I cannot afford to completely abdicate again.

My check-ins too will be random, so she is not exactly preparing for it, and if this process is done right, complete with rewards and penalties, things should be running as smoothly as I would want on the home front in a couple of months. And then I can ease up and invest my time in other things like my at-home business, my kids, or sleep without wondering if she actually cleaned under the bed Tuesday this week.

Ok, so now, your turn.

You are not just a stay-at-home parent, honey. You are a leader at home. You provide leadership for your kids, your husband (yes, because in some matters, you are boss and that is okay if you navigate it with wisdom), your domestic help and any other person that lives in your home.

The principle behind leading your domestic staff right also can apply to every other human relationship in your home. Again, wisdom.

And when it comes to your domestic help, hire right and be sure that before you fire, you have checked yourself to be sure that the fault is not really yours.

Cheers to rocking out that domestic kingdom like a boss, and with the right tools of leadership.

Let me know how this helps you. Email is eziaha@eziaha.com

Source: Bellanaija

The lifelong dream of American actress Racquel Bailey to star in a Tyler Perry project, has finally come true.

The actress got a lot of attention, including from Perry, earlier this year when she took out a billboard announcing her as the his “next leading lady”.

According to TMZ, Bailey has actually landed a role in Perry’s new TV project, “Sistas”, in which she will appear as a police officer who had a relationship with one of the show’s leads.

Back in June, Perry, 49, shared a photo of the billboard on Instagram, but advised people to save their money and audition instead, to stand a chance to star in any of his projects.

Perry pointed out that this “is the third time that someone has done this,” telling actors, “This is not the way to get my attention if you’re looking for a role in one of my shows.”

“Again, the best way to work for me is to AUDITION and it’s FREE! We post breakdowns all the time for actors. JUST COME AND AUDITION,” he wrote.

Bailey is expected to appear in the first season finale, and possible in Season 2.

Photo credit: @iamraquelbailey

  • Yvonne Chaka Chaka has revealed she twice passed the offer to be the first African woman to have a Barbie Doll made in her likeness. Did she stand up against a symbol of Eurocentric beauty?

On the occasion of International Women’s Day (IWD) celebrated this March 8 around the world, several voices are rising to claim better places for women. In most countries, it is difficult to find a parity. But in Africa, there is one exception: Rwanda.

With more than 61% of women in the Chamber of Deputies, the country is at the top of the world rankings. A country that remains a model in several fields.

But in the case of women’s representation in the Assembly, it is a reference case. While they already had a respectable place in some key institutions, women saw their numbers increase in recent elections in 2013.

Of the 80 seats in the Rwandan Parliament, 51 are occupied by women. Since 2008, Rwanda has been at the top of the IPU (Interparliamentary Union) world ranking of women in national parliaments.

An important place reserved for women which is the fruit of several initiatives taken for decades. After the 1994 genocide that killed 800,000 people, several laws that have been adopted, go in favor of parity.

For illustration, the new Constitution adopted in 2003 establishes as a fundamental principle the equality between men and women with “the attribution of at least 30% of the posts to the women in the decision-making institutions of the State”.

Since then, the electoral system has been respected to the letter with 24 seats reserved for women. These are chosen, in theory, on non-partisan bases, by colleges and councils at the local and national levels.

Despite prejudices, it must be recognized that it was the Rwandan women themselves who had to struggle to win.

With the introduction of higher educational standards, the women of Africa have started experiencing opportunity and freedom to enterprise more, which was against the old believe that African woman can actually strife to best and peak of their carriers, recently African woman has demonstrated the real vigor in typical Africa, they have been performing expediently well in their various chosen field, this brought Africa to limelight which her contemporaries have been striving to attain. So we ask:

Ten African women have shown this and have become the top 10 richest African women that employ thousands of people through ventures and firms which has continually help to keep many families and household in shape, the full alacrity African woman exhibit has always be of notable and paramount importance.

The top ten richest African women are listed below

  • 1. ISABEL DOS SANTOS

    • Asset Value: $2.7 Billion
    • Date of birth: 20th April 1973
    • Country: Angola
Isabel Dos Santos
Isabel Dos Santos

This woman Isabel Dos Santos is the richest African woman. The eldest daughter of the wealthy former Angolan President Jose Eduardo Dos Santos. She is part of the board of directors of several firms in Portugal and Angola of which media firms and major Portuguese banks with oil and diamond interest.

Isabel Dos Santos has shares in Ciminvest, an Angolan cement firm and also another firm was known as Banco African De Investimentos that made her among the top list, she studied engineering in the well-known Kings College in London and her first enterprise was at the age of 24. Her stake in the Portuguese media conglomerate Zone Multimedia is up to 14%. Isabel Dos Santos also has major stakes in the banks of Portugal like Banco Portuguese De Investimento, Banco Espirito Santo and in Portuguese energy firms like Energias De Portugal. These investments have made her more than $1 billion mark which is why she became the first woman in Africa to be a billionaire.

  • 2. FOLORUNSHO ALAKIJA

    • Asset Value: $1.76 billion
    • Date of birth: 15th July 1951
    • Country: Nigeria
FOLORUNSHO ALAKIJA Second Richest Woman In Africa
FOLORUNSHO ALAKIJA Second Richest Woman In Africa

Next to Isabel Dos Santos is this woman who is 66 years old. Folorunso Alakija she is Africa’ s second richest woman. She is the Executive Director of Famfa Oil, an oil and gas exploration company that is worth up to $600 million.

Folorunso Alakija was the secretary of Africa’ s earliest investment banks known as International Merchant Bank of Nigeria in the 1970s. She proceeded to do her studies in fashion design in the United Kingdom and then formed her fashion house firm within Nigeria known as Supreme Stitches in the years 1985, from where she became the largest designer in Nigeria. Then in 1993, the Nigerian President Ibrahim Babangida awarded her firm, Famfa Oil, a license in oil prospecting after which the firm turned to be one of the most prolific blocks with Famfa Oil having up to 60% stakes in the block. President Olusegun Obasanjo in the year 2000 acquired in an illegal manner up to 50% stake in the block without proper compensation to Alakija or her firm but this was revoked later by the Supreme Court of Nigeria.

  • 3. NGINA KENYATTA

    • Asset Value: $1 billion
    • Date of birth: 24th June 1933
    • Country: Kenya
Top 10 Richest Kenyan Politicians
Mama Ngina Kenyatta – Top 10 Richest Kenyan Politicians

She was known popularly as Mama Ngina, who is the widow of the first president of Kenya, Jomo Kenyatta and also one of Africa’s richest women. Even though she had undeclared assets, she remains among the richest women in Africa. She is 84 years old and is welcoming and charitable. Her life now is reclusive and she has gained much respect from the citizens of Kenya due to her position in promoting and defending enterprises that include sectors like education, banking, farming, insurance, manufacturing, hospitality and real estate. She has many stakes, investments, and portfolios that are under her authority.

Mama Ngina Kenyatta is among major shareholders in one of the largest privatized banks in Kenya known as the Commercial Bank of Africa and a chain of hotels known as Heritage. This is an endless list including Brookside Dairies which is an East African leader in the industry with shares that are from East Africa to the Middle East. Others include Media Max which is a media company and Timsales Timber which is among her portfolio. She also has stakes in estate sector where she developed a 500-acre estate which is among the largest gated community in the region.

  • 4. HAJIA BOLA SHAGAYA

    • Asset Value: $630 million
    • Date of birth: 10th October 1959
    • Country: Nigeria
HAJIA BOLA SHAGAYA - Richest African Woman
HAJIA BOLA SHAGAYA – Richest African Woman

The 58-year-old is the 4th richest woman in Africa. She runs enterprises and is the CEO of a diversified Nigerian firm known as Bolinus Group International including real estate interests, oil interests, and banking interests. She is a brand member of the Unity Bank Plc where she is also engaged in photography and communications. Her enterprise activities reach the oil and gas sector, finance and banking which include real estate that has hundreds of townhouses in the choicest neighborhoods of Nigeria with properties in the United States and Europe.

Hajia Bola Shagawa is a board member of a Nigerian group known as the National Economic Partnership for African Development ( NEPAD). She seemed to be aligned with necessary political and military personnel in Nigeria and is very much close to the former Nigerian president Ibrahim Babangida and Same Patience Jonathan.

  • 5. WENDY APPELBAUM

    • Asset Value: $259.3 million
    • Date of birth: 1962
    • Country: South Africa
Top 10 Richest Women In Africa
WENDY APPELBAUM – Top 10 Richest Women In Africa

The 56-year-old is a South African millionaire that became head of the real estate and insurance firm of her father known as Liberty Investors. She was the only daughter of Appelbaum. Donald Gordon who is a South African billionaire. Her shares were sold for her to rake in her fortune but when she sold it she now made her personal fortune.

Wendy Appelbaum was one of the Deputy Chairman of Women’ s Investment Portfolio Limited which is the first women dominated firm to be listed in the Johannesburg Securities Exchange (JSE) with assets that exceed with R1 billion. She made investments in De Mortenson which is a wine estate that is famous in the region of Stellenbosch. She has made philanthropical aid that is more than 23 million US dollar to support the Gordon Institute of Business Science and the Donald Gordon Medical Centre in her father’s memory. The net worth of a Wendy Appelbaum by early 2012 is up to $259.3 million which have made her one of the African women.

  • 6. WENDY ACKERMAN

    • Asset Value: $190.2 million
    • Country: South Africa

Wendy Ackerman is a retail tycoon in South Africa and also a Non-Executive Director of Pick N Pay Holdings Limited. Her assets are worth $190.2 million and she runs the Ackerman Family Trust. Her husband has up to 50% of the major grocery of South Africa. The company is worth $3 billion and they have outlets in Zimbabwe, Nigeria, Australia, Zambia, Namibia, Mozambique of which Ackerman is the Executive Director.

  • 7. IRENE CHAMLEY

    • Asset Value: $150 million
    • Date of birth: May 1960
    • Country: South Africa

The 57-year-old South African woman is a former unionist with assets that are $150 million. She has spent up to 13 years as a negotiator for the National Union of Mine Workers in South Africa after which she later became the Executive Director of MTN which is the largest telecom company in Africa. Now, she is the CEO of Smile Telecoms which is a telecommunications products firm. She has initiated the expansion of MTN across Africa and have played a major role in accumulating Iranian and Nigerian operating licenses for the firm. She was also the director of First Rand Bank and Johnic Communications. Her assets which are up to $150 million made her among Africa’s richest women.

  • 8. BRIDGET RADEBE

    • Asset Value: $100 million
    • Date of birth: 26th February 1960
    • Country: South Africa

She formed the mining firm known as Mmakau Mining in South Africa that has operations in platinum, gold, uranium, chrome mining and exploration. This 57-year-old woman first became a mine worker. She is now the president of an association known as the South African Mining Development Association and she won an award from the Global Foundation for Democracy.

  • 9. SHARON WAPNICK

    • Asset Value: $43.1 million
    • Date of birth: 1964
    • Country: South Africa

The total calculation of her assets is worth more $43.1 million and she double to be among the largest and biggest shareholders in listed loan stocks firms known as October Investments and Premium Properties which were both formed by her father Alex.

  • 10. ELISABETH BRADLEY
    • Asset Value: $32 million
    • Date of birth: 1962
    • Country: South Africa

Her father Albert Wessels introduced Toyota to South Africa in the year 1961. She was the chairman of Wesco Investments that sold their 25% stake in the South African Toyota to Toyota Motor Corp of Japan for $320 million. She remains the Chairman of Wesco Investments, South Africa.

That’s all about Top 10 Richest Women in Africa 2019.

The Nigerian music industry is evolving and music stars are also re-inventing themselves,, fans get to enjoy diverse sounds and unique music from different genres, some are infusing culture into their craft while others reflect the pop side. Toby Grey is a mix of both.

The young music star started out at the age of 16 and is best known for her creativity, passion and stage presence. She recently went viral when she did a cover of Kizz Daniel’s Music Challenge, using it as an avenue to expose some of the ills in the music industry and speaking up for female artistes who are silent victims of sexual harassment. A topic many shy away from for fear of being blacklisted in the Industry.

She recently released an EP titled LOVE IN LAGOS where she teamed up with two of Nigeria’s best producers to re-register her presence in the Music story and also project Lagos state in good light.

While the Music star is very sad female artiste don’t support eachother enough, she is willing to do her bit to support upcoming female artiste and show the world that the sky is wide enough for everyone to soar and prosper.

The beautiful graduate and multi-lingual, shares her Inspiring story with me in this interview.

Growing Up

I grew up in a household where music was always played. My mum loved to sing and my dad? Well I knew he loved music but I don’t remember him being a great singer. I remember listening to Fuji, APALA and some western songs every Saturday while doing house chores and singing along. All through my childhood I loved to dance even before I knew I could sing. So in a way, my love for music validated my passion for music.

The impact of starting out at age 16

Starting early helped me learn faster and understand the techniques behind singing. The things I learned when I was 16, I probably wouldn’t have the patience to learn them now if I didn’t then. But again, I didn’t have a choice cos I had do it right and the only way was through learning.

Combining school with music back in the days

It was not easy at all. Sometimes I missed classes or important events. But I always had it at the back of my mind that my education comes first! Also, I had really supportive friends who studied with me whenever I felt stuck. It’s crazy because you have classes, and you have lectures, and you have tests to write, and you have a project to defend or you any other academic stuff know like that and so you have to learn to combine multiple activities and get the best out still. It was hard mixing music with school, I mean music is a very jealous profession and school takes a lot of time and so doing those things together hand-in-hand was a big challenge to me. But I’m glad am over with it, I’m so glad, I’m so glad but nevertheless I’m proud to have been through these process cuz it makes me appreciate what I have. Not everybody has the opportunity to go to school but if you are fortunate enough to go to school just stay in school and if you are also fortunate enough to have people around you that can guide you know, through the journey, music and education, it’s amazing.”

The journey so far..

The Nigerian music industry, I feel like, you know people say a lot about the music industry. They are like it’s hard to blow, it’s hard to do this. Yes those things are true but the hardest part is the finance. I mean I am an indie artiste and I can say that for sure. It’s really, really hard financing yourself well but with the help of my family and supportive people I’m glad to be where I am today. There are people who say Oh Tobi let me see how I can help or I work here let me see how I can tell somebody to help you do this or do that and that’s how we’ve gotten certain things done. So it’s been very challenging trust me but I thank God because where I am today, I can say it’s only through God’s grace. A lot of people have been trying to get into that market, and well I am not saying am there yet, but it’s a work in progress so I thank God.”

My Music

All my songs have played a role in putting me out there over the past few years mostly because each song is unique and opens me up to a different audience each time.

Addressing the Sexual assault rumor in Kizz Daniel’s Music Challenge

I was never sexually assaulted at any point in my career. One of the purposes of the song was to make people aware of the ills females have to go through sometimes in the industry. Alot of the victims are scared to speak up for fear of being stigmatized and judged. Some will probably not be able to perform at big concerts and shows If they ever come out with such news.

Sexual harassment of female artiste in Nigeria and the way forward

I think it is totally appalling and unfortunately it has been in existence for a very long time. As a starting point to curbing it, females should be sensitized to know that it’s okay to speak up if they are in that situation. It may be hard but being brave and bold to speak could go a long way in gradually eradicating sexual harassment.

Challenges of being a female artiste

The major challenge has mostly been finance. Music is a very expensive business and being female even makes it more challenging because not only do we have to spend more, even society has certain expectations that affect our expenses. This also makes it hard for labels to invest in a female artiste.

Female artiste & support for eachother

Sadly, the answer is No, we don’t support ourselves enough.

New Music

I recently put out an EP titled LOVE IN LAGOS where I teamed up with two of Nigeria’s best producers – DJ Coublon and Tyemmy to put together my first body of work. The EP houses 6 tracks and portrays a variation of love songs which could be considered as atypical i.e. not the regular ‘boy meets girl’ story line. Also, one of the songs is dedicated to the ever vibrant and dynamic ‘Lagos State’ and transcends to the core aesthetics of the songs in terms of vibrancy, fun and creativity. It presents a twist of traditional, alternative, trap, folklore, pop and comic vibes all produced, written and recorded in Lagos state, Nigeria. The EP is also available on every digital platform.

Being  a Woman of Rubies

I may not be perfect, but I inspire people especially women to do more, be more and believe in themselves because every woman is special.

To young women who want to go into music..

I would say, perfect your craft because it’s not enough to have a talent for singing. Keep working on yourself, believe strongly in yourself because bad days will come when you feel like you’re not good enough and you just feel like giving up. Your belief, good friends or family you can rely on will see you through. Lastly work hard, be humble, be hungry for success and pray!