Esther Ijewere

In Career Gems August 27, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

WIFE APPLIES FOR DIVORCE BECAUSE HUSBAND SHOWS TOO MUCH LOVE

In what seems to be an odd play out of marriage, a woman in the United Arab Emirates has asked the court to dissolve her marriage because her husband shows her ‘too much love’, helps with the housework and showers her with gifts.

According to reports, the UAE woman told a Sharia court in Fujairah that her ‘endearing’ husband has never argued or yelled at her and was always kind.

When she complained about his weight, the man embarked on a strict weight loss regime of dieting and exercise which left him with a broken leg.

But this did not please the angry wife who still complained of his many gifts and compliments, according to local media.

According to her:

“I am eagerly longing for a single day of dispute, but this seems impossible with my romantic husband who always forgave me and showered me with daily gifts.

‘I need a real discussion, even an argument, not this hassle-free life full of obedience.”

The husband begged the court to deny the divorce request.

He told the court:

“It’s not fair to judge a marriage from the first year, and everybody learns from their mistakes. I am and always wish to be a perfect and kind husband.”

However, the court has adjourned the case to give the couple a chance to settle the dispute themselves.

Meanwhile, back home in Nigeria, celebrity media personality Toke Makinwa has implored women to cause drama and “f**k sh*t up” so as to spice their relationship.

This new take on relationships makes us ask that old question, “What do women really want?”

In Career Gems August 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

AISHA YESUFU COVERS GUARDIAN LIFE MAGAZINE

The co-convener of the “Bring Back Our Girls” Movement, Aisha Yesufu, known for her fearless stance on National issues, is the latest cover lady of Guardian Life Magazine as she talks about being a girl child in Northern Nigeria, feminism, religious faux, marriage and being a “BBOG” warrior.

Born in Northern Nigeria, where the female child is expected to keep mute on certain issues, little Aisha Yesufu was already breaking the rules by speaking out whenever there was injustice.

Read excerpts from her interview:

On growing up, she says:

“Even though my parents or adults were angry at me for speaking up especially when it does not favour them; when they had that need to have someone that was unbiased to look at issues, they would call me.”

“I have the gift to look at issues from both sides even when I am involved and when I am not. I am able to tell people, “okay look at it like this”. My mother would always say, ‘nobody wins in your court’, but in that same court when they want the issues to be told plainly, they would come.”

On Feminism and Marriage:

“I am very, very lazy. My parents used to say, ‘Is everything book?’ Even when my husband proposed, I told him, I am lazy and I hate housework, I hate cooking and he was ready to go with it.”

“I set systems in place to work for me. I hire and pay people to make me jobless. By the grace of God, I will never work for anybody so I have time on my hands.”

“Being brought up to expect that a man that will take of you, it was my husband that taught me to be financially independent so that I can have control over my voice and not be dependent.”

On being a Bring Back Our Girls warrior;

“Growing up, the average Nigerian was taught that you should not question elders. They grew up with how not to question authority and it went on through school. Now that they have become adults, they have used government to replace parents so they don’t question authority.”

“Fortunately, we are seeing more movements like BBOG inspire them to stay on course. They are realising that the office of the citizen is actually the highest office in the land. They are realizing that we don’t need permission from the police to protest but protection.”

“Whatever I am doing today, I am fighting for that little girl that I was that yearned for help, that begged to be helped with a textbook so that I can read and pass my exams. If I ever give up that fight, I will be giving up on myself.

In Career Gems August 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NWTF, SONAIYA APPLAUD LASG, LAMENT POOR FEMALE REPRESENTATION NATIONALLY

Governor Babajide Sanwoolu and his deputy, Obafemi Hamzat have been commended for appointing 32 per cent women to serve in his cabinet. According to the CEO of Women Radio 91.7, Toun Okewale-Sonaiya, Lagos State has shown a genuine political will that is deliberate and intentional and is worthy of commendation.

Speaking with The Guardian in Lagos, the CEO of the Nigerian Women Trust Fund (NWTF), Mufuliat Fijabi, also commended the Lagos state government, saying it has done very well.

“The present administration has done quite well in terms of female representation in political discourse. It is very close to 35 percent, which is the required number according to the national gender policy. Though he didn’t get to the 35 percent we fought for, I am sure a lot of women around Lagos and the country appreciate this and we urge him to still do more for women representation and inclusion in policymaking and governance.”

Fijabi went on to add that her organisation, as well as many other women-centred organisations and groups, fought hard before and after the general elections to ensure the 35 percent derivative action goal was met. “Despite all our efforts, what do we have today? Barely 16 per cent. This isn’t good enough and shows a lack of effort and political will to include over half the country’s population in matters of national discourse and also flouts international agreements that the country is part of. This isn’t helpful for our democracy and shows we are neither growing nor improving as time goes by.

“If Lagos can do it, why can’t it be done nationally? The government must show political goodwill by including more women in our political discourse if we want to improve the economy, democracy and all other areas of the nation.”

Okewale-Sonaiya on her part said, “Good governance means an inclusive government and the appointment of 32 per cent women indicates that the state, through its party leadership, understands that good governance through fair representation leads to progress and that women matter.”

“Any government that is not inclusive is bound to fail. A government that shuts its doors to gender-sensitivity is setting itself backward and cannot progress. We urge other states and the federal government who are yet to appoint commissioners and boards of agencies and parastatals to emulate the Lagos State progressive approach.”

She added that the decision-making process of Lagos should be commended and urged the governor and party leadership to appoint 35 per cent women as chair of parastatals, agencies and board members. In the same vein, she urged the President and his newly inaugurated cabinet members to approach all national issues with a gender-sensitive perspective.

Sonaiya, who said it might be a bit difficult to achieve this because of the low representation of women in the cabinet, called for a conscious and deliberate effort to be gender-sensitive in setting up and implementing policies and implementation across the country.

Source: Guardian

In self development August 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MEET THE WOMAN WHO IS BUILDING THE LARGEST SOLAR FARM IN GHANA

Salma Okonkwo, one of the brightest businesspeople in Ghana, is brimming with an entrepreneurial flair that sees her having plans to create the biggest solar farm in Ghana. She has carved her excellent reputation in the energy sector well, heading the a multimillion-dollar oil and gas outfit called UBI Group.

If her project comes to fruition, Ghana’s energy sector will be changed in ways that have positive far-reaching effects. Set to be one of Africa’s largest solar farms, Salma Okonkwo is building a solar farm called Blue Power Energy. It will open in March 2019 with 100 megawatts of energy. It will be the biggest move in her career.

Speaking to Forbes, Okonkwo said, “don’t stop when the door is being shut. I find a way to make it work, that’s what propelled my success.” She added, “Most of the multinational companies that come to Ghana don’t put in infrastructure. They operate a system where they invest very little and they take it away. They sell their products and leave. I’m hoping to provide employment and add to Ghana’s economy.”

Okonkwo was raised in an average home as one of 14 children born to a real estate agent and developer mother and a cattle dealer father. Her parents made the effort to send her to the United States to further pursue her education, gaining admission into college at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. After her graduation in 1994, she worked briefly in California, but returned to Ghana in 2003 after being recruited by oil and gas company Sahara Energy Group.

It was at Sahara Energy Group that she pitched the concept of opening up gas retail stations, but the company was not keen on this idea. Her idea was turned down several times. Executives would shun her idea by saying that they wouldn’t change their business plan because it would be too political and would require too much of an investment in infrastructure.

She quit the group in order to pursue her brilliant idea where no one would shoot her down. She started her own petroleum gas company, focusing on bringing liquified petroleum gas to the hard-to-reach region of northern Ghana, where many families still rely on burning firewood for energy.

Her journey on this path was not rosy. She encountered a difficulty: The North had few storage facilities for the liquified gas. To get it to the remote region, she’d have to build the storage herself, and she was already struggling to secure funding. In order to circumvent this predicament, she started trading diesel and petroleum wholesale.

An article image — A UBI Group gas retail station in Ghana. Credit – UBI group

By 2007, she had a contract to supply fuel to Dallas-based Kosmos Energy, which was followed by another contract with Hess in 2008. A year later (in 2008) UBI opened its first retail gas station, which expanded to eight stations outright, with 20 others being managed through partnerships. In 2013, Okonkwo started her solar company. According to Forbes, she estimates that the company will spend about $100 million—financed by roughly $30 million in loans—to create 100 megawatts of solar power by early next year. Construction started earlier this summer. The plan is to add another 100 megawatts by the end of 2020.

With how energy access is a big problem in Africa, Salma Okonkwo’s ambitious project will go a long way in easing these problems. It will also create opportunities and employment for women in Ghana. Northern Ghana, which Unicef says is Ghana’s poorest region will be improved for the better. Cheap energy to northern Ghana will ease life.

Okonkwo said, “I want to bring support to my people in the north. Then there will be more Salma’s all over the place.”

Header image credit: This is Africa

In self development August 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MEET THE FIRST AFRICAN DESIGNER TO COLLABORATE WITH FASHION GIANT H&M

South African designer Palesa Mokubung is the first African designer to collaborate with the fashion giant H&M. The Swedish retailer joined forces with Mantsho, Mokubung’s label, to create a collection celebrating the elegance and vibrancy of Africa.

Mokubung’s career began in 2000 when she walked into a boutique in Johannesburg – Stoned Cherrie – and her outfit caught the boutique’s owner’s eye. The outfit was designed by Mokubung herself. She was immediately employed. In 2004, she launched her brand called Mantsho. Her goal was to create a fashion brand that would represent South Africa and Africa globally.

On August 15th, Mantsho’s collaboration collection with H&M launched. The collection consists of women’s clothes and accessories with a distinct African feel. It is available online and in H&M stores in the UK, France, Israel, Spain, and Belgium.

“Mantsho x H&M is an exciting collection celebrating the elegance and vibrancy of Africa with modern edgy designs created for the stylish carefree woman,” reads a statement jointly released by H&M and Mantsho.

Mokubung has referred to the collection as her “love letter to Africa”.

“I hope customers around the world will enjoy this ensemble of my stand out pieces from my last three collections,” she said in a statement.

In an interview with Bloomberg, Mokubung said, “I really wanted to have a label that could remind me – that could remind everyone in case somebody wanted us to forget – how beautiful we are just because we are. Just because we exist. I wanted to have that attitude of unapologetic black, proud, stern, confident in the way that I design, in the way that I work, in the way that I approach the women that I saw, in the way I run my business, the way that I present myself, in the way that I am accepted. That message is very important to my soul—it is fire to my soul.”

Mokubung hopes that more African women will follow their dreams dreams

H&M has previously collaborated with Italian designer Moschino and French luxury house, Balmain.

Header Image Credit: Instagram @palesamokubung

In Interviews&profile August 22, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

#7QUESTIONS WITH ABIODUN ALABI

Abiodun Alabi is our debut WORrior on this week’s 7 questions.

Abiodun has over 6 years experience as Human Resources Generalist Personnel. Currently, Abiodun is the founder of Motherhoodng, a social enterprise that is setup to raise group of mothers in every city in Nigeria.

Abiodun’s mission is is to run maternal health campaign and sensitisation in communities and social media that provides information to mothers and to-be mothers.

She holds a Bachelor degree in Business administration and Management. She is an associate member of Chartered Institute of Personnel management (CIPM) of Nigeria and Nigerian Institute of Training and Development.

Abiodun, is driven by her passion to support mothers at the delicate stage of childbirth and parenting in their motherhood journey. She answers our 7 thought provoking questions in this interview.

1. What is your biggest fear?

My greatest fear is to look back many years down the line and regret not doing something because I was afraid that it will not be successful.

2. In your darkest moments, what do you do?

I have experienced such times in life and the God factor remain my strength through them all. Also, I analyse the situation, to pick one or two lessons as I move forward, then I consistently soak my mind with positive words by listening to worship songs, positive affirmations that address the situation am going through, seek God intervention and visualize the victory am expecting.

3. What is that one thing you would like to change about yourself?
Trusting people so easily.

4. Where do you see yourself five years from now?
Looking back over some years, I would never have predicted that at this point in my life I’d be doing the kind of great work I do. Given the pace of change these days I would not presume to say that I know what I’ll be doing in the next five years. However, in the next five years I know I’ll be working hard on something that will positively impact womanhood at large, alongside smart and committed people.

5. What keeps you going in?

My determination to make positive impact in life in any way and the goal to be the first role model for my children.

6. What is your stand on feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist?

I stand for feminism because it is about equal rights and opportunities for both genders. I connect with anything that bring joy or goodness to women’s world.

7. What keeps you up at night?

Quest for personal development and fulfilling my purpose in life.

Send a mail to info@womenofrubies.com if you would like to be featured on #7QUESTIONS

In self development August 22, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

27-YEAR-OLD WHO DIED OF CANCER LEFT BEHIND FINAL ADVICE THAT HAS THE INTERNET IN TEARS

The world said goodbye to Holly Butcher, a 27-year-old woman from Grafton, Australia.

Butcher had been battling Ewing’s sarcoma, a rare bone cancer that predominantly affects young people. In a statement posted on Butcher’s memorialized Facebook account, her brother, Dean, and partner, Luke, confirmed the heartbreaking news to friends.

“It is with great sadness that we announce Holly’s passing in the early hours of this morning,” they wrote on Jan. 4, 2018. “After enduring so much, it was finally time for her to say goodbye to us all. The end was short and peaceful; she looked serene when we kissed her forehead and said our final farewells. As you would expect, Holly prepared a short message for you all, which will be posted above.”

Butcher’s message, which Dean and Luke did, in fact, post publicly shortly thereafter, has brought the internet to tears.

We believe her powerful message — which has amassed an incredible 72,000 Likes and 56,000 shares across the world so far — deserves to be spread far and wide.

Butcher used her final post to reflect on what she’s learned in her short but beautiful life, offering some advice to those of us who are willing to listen.

“It’s a strange thing to [realize] and accept your mortality at 26 years young,” she began. “I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and gray — most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.”

Butcher’s poignant post is definitely worth reading in full. But here are 16 especially powerful points:

1. “I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all, so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. … Those times you are [whining] about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s OK to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people’s days.”

2. “Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that — breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. … I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.”

3. “I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise — be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them. .. Appreciate your good health and functioning body — even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is.”

4. “Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; more than I could ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.”

5. “This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus, imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves … strange! … but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. … Anyway, moral of the story — presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas.”

6. “Use your money on experiences … or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.”

7. “Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.”

8. “Listen to music … really listen. Music is therapy.”

9. “Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.”

10. “Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing OK?”

11. “Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.”

12. “Work to live, don’t live to work.”

13. “Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.”

14. “Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life. You might want a mediocre life and that is so OK.”

15. “Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.”

16. “Oh and one last thing. If you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year — a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.”

Butcher may be gone, but her impact will live on in the hearts and minds of people around the world.

“Never [met] her, but I am very touched and in tears,” one Facebook user commented. “Such a bright light for a seemingly dark world at times,” another chimed in. “Beautiful.”

What a wise soul she is,” someone concluded. “I’m off to donate my blood.”

Rest in peace, Holly. You made this world a better place. ❤️

In self development August 21, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

EZIAHA BOLAJI-OLOJO: DON’T BE SO QUICK TO FIRE YOUR DOMESTIC HELP!

I consider my home a platform to practice my leadership skills, so I am very intentional about that

Goodness gracious, I was just frustrated.

I had made up my mind that if it persisted, I would fire her and hire another. However, somewhere inside, I feared the possibility of hiring someone even worse. I mean, there were no guarantees, no way to know them until after they start working for you. So, you know, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t.

What am I on about? My domestic help.

I had done all the right things, from before the recruitment process up until creating the right job description and aid for her. Why was she slacking so much still, being half as efficient as I expected her to be? And worse, I was comparing her to my previous help.

Thankfully, before I made the decision to fire her, I did a quick self-audit of my person and processes as a boss at home, and received sense. One of the biggest lessons from all my many investments in leadership is that when things are going awry, the first person to check is the leader. When a leader gets better, chances are that everyone and everything gets better (learned that from one of my leadership podcasts).

I consider my home a platform to practice my leadership skills, so I am very intentional about that.

The result of my self-audit was humbling. I was doing OK until it came to monitoring. I had delegated and then abdicated complete responsibility to someone who was not ready for it, and who was not mature enough to work well without supervision (like most people write on their CV).

Plus, in all fairness, since she resumed work at mines four months ago, I had been so slammed with life that I hadn’t even taken the time to properly train her like I trained the previous help, who, by the way, was older and more mature. I just handed her a list with instructions and threw her right into the middle of the sea to find her way to shore.

So for all her slacking—and though she deserves some of the blame—it was really my fault. I started to make amends immediately. They were sure to cost me more time on the short run, but if I handled it right, it would buy me more time on the long run.

I am a long run kinda chick, so I wore my big girl boss panties. I decided that I would put in the work and time it demanded to supervise and evaluate her work every single morning, evening, and as need be. Since I already had a list, I just needed to follow my own list.

Mondays, you are to clean the toilets and mop the stairs, among other chores. Monday morning, we both go over the list together. I read it out and make sure she gets it all.

When I go into the toilet at some point in the day, I take my time to supervise that work. If it isn’t done right, I call her back to do it and show her how to get it done. So some processes need to be worked on before the end of the day.

Monday night, we go to the list again. “Did you do XYZ?” If yes, fine. We go through those tasks to be sure they were done right. If no, and for no sensible reason, I make sure she does it before she sleeps. I am not being wicked, I am being a good leader.

Consistency is very important in leadership, and if people see your inconsistency, they will not take you and things you tell them to do seriously. In fact, you will be considered a weak leader, even if they do not say it that way. So I don’t have a problem with getting you to complete the work you were to do during the day and didn’t do at night after the kids have gone to bed, so long as it doesn’t put you at risk or in danger.

For example, if you were to do a task outside the home, I would not send you out late to do it, but I would be sure to mention your slack and my unhappiness about it and insist you do it the next day.

Things started to change after that. Knowing that there was someone on her tail, she started to carry out her tasks both in a timely and efficient manner. We are still in the first few days of doing that, so I am still very closely monitoring (and low-key griping about how much time this is taking me). The good thing is that this will not be the case for too long. After some time, I can ease up to doing this monitoring three times a week, then once a week, and maybe once a month. But I cannot afford to completely abdicate again.

My check-ins too will be random, so she is not exactly preparing for it, and if this process is done right, complete with rewards and penalties, things should be running as smoothly as I would want on the home front in a couple of months. And then I can ease up and invest my time in other things like my at-home business, my kids, or sleep without wondering if she actually cleaned under the bed Tuesday this week.

Ok, so now, your turn.

You are not just a stay-at-home parent, honey. You are a leader at home. You provide leadership for your kids, your husband (yes, because in some matters, you are boss and that is okay if you navigate it with wisdom), your domestic help and any other person that lives in your home.

The principle behind leading your domestic staff right also can apply to every other human relationship in your home. Again, wisdom.

And when it comes to your domestic help, hire right and be sure that before you fire, you have checked yourself to be sure that the fault is not really yours.

Cheers to rocking out that domestic kingdom like a boss, and with the right tools of leadership.

Let me know how this helps you. Email is eziaha@eziaha.com

Source: Bellanaija

In self development August 21, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

ACTRESS WHO RENTED A BILLBOARD TO GET TYLER PERRY’S ATTENTION LANDS ROLE IN HIS SHOW

The lifelong dream of American actress Racquel Bailey to star in a Tyler Perry project, has finally come true.

The actress got a lot of attention, including from Perry, earlier this year when she took out a billboard announcing her as the his “next leading lady”.

According to TMZ, Bailey has actually landed a role in Perry’s new TV project, “Sistas”, in which she will appear as a police officer who had a relationship with one of the show’s leads.

Back in June, Perry, 49, shared a photo of the billboard on Instagram, but advised people to save their money and audition instead, to stand a chance to star in any of his projects.

Perry pointed out that this “is the third time that someone has done this,” telling actors, “This is not the way to get my attention if you’re looking for a role in one of my shows.”

“Again, the best way to work for me is to AUDITION and it’s FREE! We post breakdowns all the time for actors. JUST COME AND AUDITION,” he wrote.

Bailey is expected to appear in the first season finale, and possible in Season 2.

Photo credit: @iamraquelbailey

In Career Gems August 21, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MUSICIAN CHAKA CHAKA DECLINES BARBIE DOLL HONOR

Yvonne Chaka Chaka has revealed she twice passed the offer to be the first African woman to have a Barbie Doll made in her likeness. Did she stand up against a symbol of Eurocentric beauty?
It is deemed a great honour by most to have a Barbie Doll made in their image, however, popular South African musician Yvonne Chaka Chaka declined that “honour” twice.

The doll was made as part of 60th Anniversary Barbie Shero campaign, an effort to inspire girls to be heroes. According to the campaign, Sheroes are given the Barbie brand’s highest honour, a one-of-a-kind doll made in their likeness in celebration of their roles in expanding the possibilities for girls everywhere.

Yvonne was approached as one of the few African women to grace the campaign with a Barbie modeled in her likeness.

According to Sunday World, Yvonne Chaka Chaka confirmed that she was approached by the company and loved the idea. However, she was not happy with the final product as the doll looked nothing like her.

“They showed me the doll and I told them I’m not up for it if the said dolls will look nothing like me. This is simply because I was promised something that will look exactly like me. I respect myself that much,” reports Sunday World.

Sunday World reported that doll looked slimmer and did not resemble her facial features. The attempt to portray a slimmer model is seen as reinforcement of Eurocentric beauty ideals which focus on slim models.

Meanwhle, the doll has been given South African singer Lira. Lira became the first African to have a Barbie doll made in her honour. From the twitter post, the doll is a splitting image of Lira.

She could not contain her excitement as she shared the amazing news with her fans.

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