Women of Rubies

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Esther Ijewere

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The app – i-Cut – makes it easier for young women to seek help, find a rescue centre or report the procedure to the authorities.

Kenyan Girls Who Developed App to Fight Female Genital Mutilation Nominated for Sakharov Prize

 The Restorers

She has several apps copyrighted solely to her name, was contracted by the government at the age of 12 and has her own company.

Meet the 20-Year Old Female Tech Genius Coding at Ethiopia's First Artificial Intelligence Lab

Healthy life is everything. A Nigerian woman, 104-year-old Jessie Onuigwe, has shared the secret to her living that long.

In an interview with BBC, the Nigerian said that farming is her secret to long life, adding that the reason for young people’s shaky health is that they engage in unhealthy lifestyle like smoking, and drinking alcohol. She said that young people are lazy, and do not farm. The 104-year-old who hails from Anambra said that she also extracts palm oil from palm kernel.

She said she went into farming because she believes it is beautiful venture.

“If you don’t have money to do business, you can venture into farming. Agriculture helps to fight climate change, which is destructive. “What has helped me live long is eating my native food, and believing in Jesus. Your body becomes stronger when you farm,” she said.

The old woman, who also has four children and 124 grandchildren, said that she used profits from her farming to feed her family. Onuigwe said that farming helps her to combat issues like global warming. The centurion said that farming is a good alternative for anyone who lacks capital to venture into business.

No one expects to get a ton of sleep when they have a newborn at home, but most of us believe that we’ll get more sleep when the kids are older.

New research suggests that’s a myth that sets parents up for frustration because parents (particularly mothers) are still sleep deprived four to six years after bringing a baby home.

The study examined the sleep patterns of 4,659 German parents who had a child between 2008 and 2015 and found that parents’ sleep duration and satisfaction don’t recover to pre-pregnancy levels until the first child is in first grade.

Parents of older children often feel like they shouldn’t be as tired as they are since they no longer have a baby at home, but this study proves that sleep deprivation doesn’t end when your child starts sleeping in a big kid bed. It continues, and we can’t address the problem if we don’t acknowledge it.

“While having children is a major source of joy for most parents it is possible that increased demands and responsibilities associated with the role as a parent lead to shorter sleep and decreased sleep quality even up to 6 years after birth of the first child,” says Dr. Sakari Lemola, of the Department of Psychology at the University of Warwick.

And moms get less sleep than dads, a trend that starts right away and lasts until elementary school. Researchers found that in the first three months after a baby is born, mothers sleep on average one hour less than before pregnancy. In those first three months, dads lose out on about 15 minutes.

“Women tend to experience more sleep disruption than men after the birth of a child reflecting that mothers are still more often in the role of the primary caregiver than fathers,” says Dr. Lemola.

By the time the kids in the study were 4 to 6 years old the moms were still missing out on about 20 minutes of sleep, while dad’s sleep deficiency remained steady at 15 minutes below the pre-kids duration.

“We didn’t expect to find that, but we believe that there are certainly many changes in the responsibilities you have,” Dr. Lemola told The Guardian, explaining that kids may stop crying at night as they grow up, but they may wake up feeling sick or due to nightmares, and that stress related to parenting can also keep parents up at night.

First-time parents lose the most sleep compared to more experienced parents, the research notes, and in the first one and a half years of a child’s life, breastfeeding moms lost more sleep compared to bottle-feeding moms.

It may seem kind of bleak to think that you’ll still be losing sleep when your child is in kindergarten, but it’s important for parents to know this so we can set realistic expectations and give ourselves grace when we need it.

You can have a 4-year-old and be almost as tired as you were when they were 4 months old. It’s okay if you need to sneak in a nap today, or if you fall into bed tonight with your mascara on.

There’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing wrong with your kiddo. It’s just a part of parenting.

The good news is, parents don’t get more sleep deprived the more kids they have. Whether you have one under six or three under six, you’re still only going to lose 20 minutes.

If you are feeling really sleep deprived, don’t be afraid to ask your village for help. If your partner, co-parent, a grandparent or trusted babysitter can stand in for you overnight, let them help you and get the sleep you need.

One day your kids will sleep through the night, but it’s okay to ask for help until that day comes.

Source: Motherly

A social media user recently used her platform to call the attention of the public to the plight of a Nigerian graduate that hawks pesticides and insecticides for a living.

The concerned individual identified as Adaobi Okafor, reached out to Legit.ng with the story of the female graduate who was forced to take up a menial job due to her inability to secure a white collar job. According to Okafor, the lady identified as Julian Olikeze hails from Awka Etiti in Anambra state, and has a degree in French language from the Ebonyi State University.

She said Olikeze passed out from the university with good grades and also has a good command of English language. “This beautiful lady by name Julian Olikeze from Awka Etiti in Anambra state is a graduate of French language in Ebonyi State University (with good grades), but now hawks insecticides and pesticides just to make ends meet because of unemployment. She also has a very nice voice and her spoken English is top notch,” her post read.

https://www.facebook.com/adaobi.okafor.31/videos/2512527765525454/?t=0

Ida Wheeler, 102, is challenging narratives about old age and health by visiting the gym to pump iron three times in a week to stay fit and healthy.

At 102, Wheeler is still a very healthy, strong woman and this is due to her frequent visitations to the gym. In an interview with KCRA, Wheeler revealed the secret to staying fit and healthy is ”just work and plenty of rest and no drinking of alcohol.” Wheeler, who just turned 102 emphasised that it is important people rest and eat good meals. According to Blacknews, since the 1970s, Wheeler has a workout routine she never wanted to miss. Wheeler even visited the gym on her birthday with her daughter and granddaughter, who often join her going to the gym. Shirley Rodgers, Wheeler’s granddaughter, said her grandmother credits her good health to her own cooked meals, physical activities, and daily news reading habit.

She is ”certainly an inspiration, a truly amazing and I’m proud of her being 102 and working out,” Rodgers said. Meanwhile, a 106-year-old woman identified as Nancy Stewart from Clonard, Ireland, has stated that having a good sense of humour is her secret to a long and healthy life. Stewart who is said to be the oldest person in Ireland still living in her own home, also advised that staying off alcohol and cigarettes can aid longevity. While speaking to RTE, she said: “Have a good humour, don’t fight with anyone and do your job well. That’s all.”

With perseverance and determination, a 54-year-old man has inspired many across the globe with his exceptional story after his daughter graduated from college through his 20 years of hard work as a garbage collector. Tatay Cristito Quimado sat for an interview on GMA News to discuss his daily routine as a garbage collector, detailing the challenges he encounters collecting other people’s thrash and often getting injuries from broken glasses. And he had to endure all these in order to put all four of his children through school.

Quimado reveals that his work is not easy but says he does it for his family because he believes education is the only thing that he can leave them. As a garbage collector, he barely makes anything substantial to provide for his family but he says he’ll continue to do his best to provide for them. His recent interview shows his daughter, Jenny, who recently graduated with a degree in Nutrition and Food Technology, who expressed how grateful she is to her dad and how proud she is of him. Jenny notes that she’s not ashamed to mention that her father is a garbage collector.

Quimado, a proud father revealed he is so happy that he was able to send his daughter Jenny Rose Quimado, to college. But Tatay Cristito still has to send the rest of his children to college as well.

“Parenting is a huge job that comes with so much responsibilities,” says Mrs. Oluwabusayo Adebowale, Director, Inspired Kids Network. You, out of love, desire to give the little humans in your life the best you can afford, you vow to propel them to heights you never attained and see that they become the best that they can be.

This can make parents place perfectionist demands on children. So many parents fall into the trap of comparing children’s developmental milestones. Nothing crashes a child’s self-esteem as fast as direct or indirect comparison with another. The truth is, when you start comparing your child to others, you’ll lose sight of the unique attributes of your child. Children are unique and special in their own way.

“Frankly speaking, the educational system of our country Nigeria has also contributed to this problem, as the emphasis on paper qualification or certification over actual abilities is a major sponsor. Even schools have bought into this philosophy as even toddlers write exams and are graded by position. For this reason, so many parents are desperate to see their children measure up on paper.”

Adebowale said that recently, a mother on a support community for mothers she belongs to, recounted how her husband met a home-schooled toddler who blew his mind away with his knowledge level. “This young child of 21 months could identify his colours, shapes, numbers and could communicate in long fluent sentences. Her husband suddenly felt that their 22-two-month old son who could count up to 30, loved to sing, knew his alphabets and could communicate in a few words was not measuring up. This is the story of many parents, they begin to place unreasonable expectations on children instead of celebrating their uniqueness and letting them learn at their pace.

“They start getting worried that a three-month old isn’t sitting, a 10-month old isn’t walking, a one-year-old has just two teeth, an 18-month-old isn’t talking fluently and so on. Parenting on the overdrive places undue pressure on children to perform. What then happens when they are not able to perform?

“I remember my elder brother slunked into depression and began to contemplate suicide because he had an extra session in the university. Can you blame him? We were brought up with the notion that you were as good as your performance. I hear my dad’s voice in my head now and some of his words ‘Bury your head in your books!’ ‘Why should you come second in class? Does the first person have two heads?’ My father did the best he could at the time, given what he knew. However, we have to do better with the children God has committed into our hands.”The parenting enthusiast and mum noted that some children actually go through the motions and amass knowledge but are oblivious on how to apply it unfortunately.

She continued: “Isn’t that why we have graduates with sparkling certificates in Nigeria who cannot defend their certificates with commensurate practical output? The purpose of knowledge is for life application. Life is more practical than theoretical; if your children have practical wisdom then the theories will just be a piece of cake. Can we teach our children to know things first for the purpose of learning, put the brakes on perfectionism and comparison while celebrating their every effort?

“As a parent its always easy to talk about the things your child is doing right while parading them as a trophy, but what happens when the child doesn’t meet the set expectations? Personally, I think the real challenge of parenting is loving and celebrating our children through their low points. Children who have not learnt to assess challenges and failures well will grow into adults with low self-esteem.

“I strongly believe that if we can groom self-confident children who don’t see a fall as their end, but will rise back with dignity no matter how hard they fall, then we have tried. As parents we need to examine our motives always as over-driving perfectionism parenting could be played out even subconsciously,” Mrs. Adebowale concluded.

Foluso Gbadamosi is the Director, Business Process & Technology, Prime Atlantic Group; Co-Founder at 8191 Solutions and Serving with Love Foundation. Her career spans over 15 years in the Telecommunications, IT and FMCG industries. In this conversation with ADERINSOLA ADENIRAN of Leading Ladies Africa (LLA), Foluso shares her corporate experiences, highlighting how she has integrated her professional pursuits with her personal life, with some success nuggets for women who want to navigate the corporate world.

Tell us a bit about growing up and your upbringing.
I am the first of four children. I grew up in a home with open doors to everyone and parents who expected the best. My parents instilled humility and love for people in ways I find hard to describe. I learnt a lot about being responsible, loving people, the importance of family, being content, being generous and so much more from my parents. The truth is, children learn from our actions more than our words, most of the values I have today are from seeing my parents in action. Gender was never a limiting factor in our home and I was raised to know that nothing is impossible.

You are Director, Business Process & Technology, Prime Atlantic Group and Co-founder at 8191 Solutions that provides technology solutions to SMEs. That is a lot. How did you set out in the corporate world? Did you have a plan from the get-go, or did you just move with the flow?
I entered the corporate world just like most people do: I graduated from University and started working. During my years in paid employment, I have developed a better sense of what I really love and enjoy doing. I am a people-person and traditionally, people in technology tend to be more heard than seen. I believe I’m thriving in the industry while staying true to myself.

You have been in the corporate space for over a decade, based on your experiences, what would you say are the core principles anyone looking to have a fulfilling career must abide by?
I am a strong proponent of self-awareness. If nothing else, I think any professional should work on becoming more self-aware. In Nigeria especially, there’s a tendency to fit people into some sort of mold and many people have a hard time expressing themselves because they think they should be a certain way. While building a career is important, it does not define you entirely so it’s important to be self-aware as you build that career. For instance, you may work in finance-a stereotypically cut-throat industry- and have a very nurturing personality, so while you are “doing deals” and “killing it”, you also find yourself mentoring people in your organization and caring for them in a way other finance professionals don’t and that’s completely fine-you don’t have to fit into the mold. We should not identify ourselves solely by our professions/industries.

Still on career, would you say there are specific challenges females face in the corporate space and if so why? Can you share some recommendations on how to solve these challenges?
I think for most women with children, a major challenge is finding this so called “balance” between work and family. I honestly don’t believe in balance. I think we just have to try our best in every season of life and make the most of our individual circumstances. My greatest recommendation to anyone who is having a hard time balancing is to create support systems. The thing about support systems is that you have to be willing to appreciate, remunerate, motivate and love on those “systems”. For example, if your support comes in the form of a domestic staff, sister-in-law, sister, brother, mum, mum-in-law, dad, cousin, friend or colleague, you must reciprocate by treating them well and being extremely tolerant. If you naturally have a short fuse or are very fussy, you will need to learn to manage that.

A supportive spouse and family are imperative to success in the corporate world. For single women, I strongly advise being very careful when dating and focusing on the right things. The reality is that your choice of spouse is a huge determining factor of your overall success.I should also highlight the importance of networking with like-minded women who keep you focused. If you have vision and I really hope you do, you must always focus on that vision, so you do not lose sight of that which God created you to do. Sometimes, the voices we allow in our space are the very ones that keep us from being all we can be.

What advice do you have for young women stepping into the corporate world- what should they look out for?
I’d advise any young professional to find a career mentor–someone who can provide guidance, perspective and advice, someone who is a source of experienced insight and a sounding board for future plans.

Can you share some career mistakes you have made on your journey and what you learnt from them?
Absolutely. I once used not ‘liking’ a particular subject matter as an excuse to not learn it. To rise in your career, there are many things you will have to learn outside of your technical comfort zone or job function. It is very important to learn those skills when training opportunities present themselves. As you discover areas you’re lacking, be sure to explore training opportunities and cover the cost if your employer wouldn’t. To pay for these training and learning opportunities, you must plan and save. You spend money on what you value!

How do you navigate family, work and other secular obligations? What counts as ‘balance’ for you?
Structure! I am big on structure and I am also big on support systems. I have those in place and alter them as required with each season of my life. Balance for me doesn’t exist, it’s really getting what needs to get done per time per season in my life. There was a particularly slow season of my life where I felt so empty and now, I wish I spent that time more wisely. I think it’s about seeing the bigger picture and seeing everything that is happening in your life as preparation. Balance is also having a supportive spouse, which I have been blessed with. We both pick up where there may be gaps. Particularly with our children, we both do what needs to be done to achieve a balanced life.

Let’s talk about parenting, what has been the highlight of your motherhood journey so far?
I have two daughters and just seeing the sheer God-given differences in them amuses me to no end. I think it’s beautiful and wonderful how God has made us all so different, all for a unique purpose.

You run “Serving with Love Foundation.” What informed its creation and how has the reception been so far?
Serving with Love is almost six years old now and it was created out of a sheer desire to help our community. There are so many problems to be solved around us all and if we all played our part, I really believe the world would be a much better place. The reception has been wonderful, we have received immense support and our membership database keeps growing. This has also helped us really strengthen and expand our various initiatives.

The future is digital, and most of the Nigerian youth are unprepared for the future of work. There is a real need to provide technology training to young children in Nigeria especially those from low-income families, who would otherwise have no access to computers or digital training. We launched a Digital Life After School Program (DLASP) last year and the objective is to bridge the digital divide and provide much needed technology education to children from low-income families, thereby giving them employable skills and an outlet to express their innovation skills.

If you could speak to your 25-year-old self, what will you tell her?
I know you like things to happen quickly but realize that purpose is a journey, mainly of self-discovery–discovering who God created YOU and no one else to be. You are the solution to many problems; you will discover them as time goes on. Make the best of every season of your life, no matter what, there is always something to learn.

A lot of women understand the essence of mentoring but do not know how to seek mentoring /stay mentorable. How would you advise young women to seek mentoring and stay mentorable?
The first step is to determine what the mentor is for, it could be for career, personal, business, spiritual, family, etc. purposes. I have mentors for specific areas of my life. Some mentors may be all-encompassing- covering all areas, but you must not miss out on a great career mentor because you are fixated on having a mentor that covers all areas, for example.

To seek a mentor, you must be as willing to give as you are to take. Don’t be a parasitic mentee. I also see a lot of people who try to outsource their lives to a mentor. Understand that if you want someone to be your mentor, the person is likely a very busy person and cannot handhold or babysit you. Schedule meeting times, maybe monthly or quarterly, and each time, have specific updates from previously agreed ‘next steps’ and specific issues you would like to address.

In seeking a mentor, it’s often a good idea to find someone accessible within your network. If someone declines your request to be mentored for one reason or the other, don’t take it personally. Ask God to help you in your search and keep your eyes opened. You could also explore structured mentorship programs operated within firms for their employees, or by independent organizations, whereby mentors are matched to individuals over a specified period.

Away from career, family and faith- tell us, what does it for you when it comes to unwinding and having fun?
Hanging with my friends, travelling, watching movies, dancing and reading.

What is your greatest pet-peeve?
People not realising who and whose they are, and trying to be someone else. The lack of realization that we were all created for a unique purpose has destroyed many lives. That is my greatest pet peeve.

Source: Guardian

While the United Nations has called for concerted efforts and investments in the girl- child education, health, safety and 21st-century skills, no fewer than 44 underprivileged girls in the rural and urban slums of Lagos State have been empowered in different skills.

The empowerment scheme under the Project #40 for 40 Girls Initiative, organised as a give-back to the society under the aegis of Action Health Incorporated (AHI) had girls from different areas such as Mushin, Iwaya, Yaba, Bariga, Makoko among other areas benefit from life skills training including beads making, baking and pastry; wig-making, household agents, make up and other business skills, as they were given start up kits and capital to start up their businesses. This is line with the United Nations International Day of the Girl Child held on October 11 every year, to address the challenges girls face as well as empower them.

The Convener, Project 40 for 40 girls, Adeola Olunloyo, lamented that the Nigerian girl child is often neglected, stressing that there are many girls who are out of school without support from their families and government, thereby making them easy prey to sexual abuse.

She revealed that the unfortunate ones are often abused while they become single mothers without means of getting income to feed themselves and their children, which are the girls the project targets. “These girls that were selected are out-of-school girls, some of them did not finish primary or secondary school, but a few of them have their Senior Secondary School Certificate (SSSCE). The challenge they are having is that many of them are not doing anything, they don’t have help from home and they are easy preys to be sexually abused and exploited, seven of them for instance are single mothers, they already have children that they cannot even cater for,” she divulged.

Olunloyo also lamented that out of school girls are often neglected, noting that while there are calls for youth development, the target is always on graduates who have the needed qualification for jobs, while “these ones cannot even compete with those ones that already have qualifications, they are really at the lower rung of the ladder and they need help to be uplifted out of the situation they are in right now.”

She further called on the government and corporate organisations to invest in youths to make the world a better place for younger generation, rather than investing in things that would only entertain thereby endangering the future of the country. “Right now, if we have millions of girls who are underdeveloped, it means half of Nigeria’s capacity is underdeveloped. So government needs to invest in young people, invest more in providing services that give them information to develop themselves and aspire. For those who cannot go to school, let them learn news skills and let them receive resources to set up their own businesses and they will contribute a lot to their communities and the society at large,” she added.

The Executive Director, Action Health Incorporated, Adenike Essiet, said it is necessary to recognise that people should be given the opportunity to excel, noting that for every woman that has been empowered, the government has lessened the burden of poverty on its shoulder and the economy. “Every girl given an opportunity is contributing to the economy of Nigeria and the economy of the world. My plea to every other Nigerian is to provide and opportunity for any girl down the road. The girls are looking for the opportunity for education, skill learning and to be the best they can be. If we provide that kind of environment they sky is the limit for every girl,” she said.

Commending the initiative, a Community Leader in Bariga, one of the areas where the girls were chosen from, Bamigbade Silas Adedola, said the initiative to empower girls is a good direction because most of them have lost hope of living. “When you teach one girl you are teaching a nation and once these girls are trained and empowered, we won’t have lots of bad eggs on the streets,” he said.