Esther Ijewere

In Interviews&profile November 18, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MAJOR SEYNABOU DIOUF AWARDED 2019 UN FEMALE POLICE OFFICER OF YEAR

Major Seynabou Diouf of the Senegal National Police has been awarded the 2019 United Nations Female Police Officer of the Year.
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Police Major Seynabou Diouf has worked “tirelessly with her colleagues inside and outside the Mission to empower women, improve conduct, enhance protection, strengthen performance, and thereby build sustainable peace”, Jean-Pierre Lacroix, Peace Operations chief, told the heads of UN police and police experts from 14 peacekeeping operations, gathered at the award ceremony at UN Headquarters in New York.⁣
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He also noted that in her native country, Senegal, she became the first female police officer to be honoured as a Gardien de la Paix, which was previously reserved for male officers.⁣
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“Since early in her career, she has shown her determination to make the extra effort, go the extra mile, to achieve her goals” he added.⁣
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Major Diouf is one of over 1,400 female police officers serving under the UN flag, carrying out a complex range of tasks – from capacity-building and reform, to community-oriented policing, investigations, protection of civilians, and prevention of sexual and gender-based violence.⁣
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Commenting on the award, Major Diouf said “When I was young, I wanted to be a medical doctor but there was an urgent need to help support my family”, she told those assembled. “Being a police officer in the early years of female recruitment provided recognition and a decent salary, but it also allowed me to contribute to society in ways I had never thought possible”.⁣

Source: Leadingladies Africa

In self development November 18, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASA WOMEN WHO INSPIRED HIDDEN FIGURES FILM SET TO RECEIVE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDALS

Hidden no more! The four women who worked at NASA and inspired the movie Hidden Figures are being awarded with the highest civilian honor in the United States, the Congressional Gold Medal award, reports CNN.

Engineers, Dr. Christine Darden and Mary Jackson, mathematician, Katherine Johnson, and computer programmer, Dorothy Vaughan, who were all instrumental during the NASA Space Race, will receive the award for their contributions, with Vaughan and Jackson receiving theirs posthumously. A fifth gold medal will also be issued in honor of all the women who worked at NASA during the Space Race.

These women, referred to as “human computers” did the complex calculations necessary to make space travel possible. They helped with World War II aircraft testing, supersonic flight research, Voyager probes to explore the solar system, and were instrumental in helping with the moon man landing of 1969.

Darden, age 77, began her career as a data analyst at NASA’s Langley Research Center prior to becoming an aerospace engineer. She has published over 50 articles on aeronautics which led to enormous breakthroughs and “revolutionized aerodynamics design.” Jackson, who passed in 2005, was NASA’s first Black female engineer. She worked as an engineer for over two decades before earning the title of “Federal Women’s Program Manager,” where she was tasked with advancing “the prospects of NASA’s female mathematicians, engineers, and scientists.”

Johnson, age 101, provided NASA with calculations that helped them with several missions including the famed Apollo missions. She was the first woman to be acknowledged “as an author of a report from the Flight Research Division.” Vaughan, who passed in 2008, was a computer programmer who led the then segregated West Area Computing unit at the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics (NACA), now known as NASA.

Senator Kamala Harris introduced the bill to honor the women calling them “pioneers and a beacon for Black women across the country, both young and old.” In a statement released to the press Harris said, “The groundbreaking accomplishments of these four women, and all of the women who contributed to the success of NASA, helped us win the space race but remained in the dark far too long. I am proud our bill to honor these remarkable women has passed Congress.”

It was Margot Lee Shetterly’s 2016 book “Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race,” that shined a light on these women. The film adaptation starring Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monae further enhanced the women’s profiles and helped uncover their enormous contributions to the areas of science, math and technology.

The Hidden Figures Congressional Gold Medal Act is endorsed by the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics, the Association for Women in Science, the Thurgood Marshall College Fund, the United Negro College Fund, the Hampton Roads Association for the Study of African American Life and History, the National Congress of Black Women and many more.

In self development November 18, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

16-YEAR-OLD CLEVELAND STUDENT OPTS FOR PILOT’S LICENSE BEFORE DRIVER’S LICENSE

Channeling the trailblazer Bessie Coleman, , 16-year-old Sydney-Marie Flowers is scheduled to receive her private pilot’s license this school year. She’ll be cleared to fly the friendly skies before she receives her driver’s license, reports WKYC.

Flowers is a student at Davis Aerospace and Maritime High School in Cleveland, Ohio. She received her student pilot certificate this summer and is now on track to get her license by the end of this school year.

The high school student attended a local aviation camp where she received top honors. Flowers was then chosen to attend a national camp in Tuskegee, Alabama, sponsored by the U.S. Air Force. It was there, on the same field that the Tuskegee Airmen trained, that Flowers took her first solo flight.

“They only pick 20 students out of the whole entire country. I just felt that it was a real accomplishment for me, and also a privilege to step on the same field the Tuskegee Airmen stepped on,” Flowers told WKYC.

But the training was not without its fair share of challenges. Flowers said it was rigorous and she ran into some bumps during her final landing, but all in all, she did well and passed. Her mother, Marie-Lynn Ogletree said she shed a few tears watching her daughter take her final exam.

“I am extremely proud of my daughter. She made goals and she’s pretty much aced every goal,” Ogletree said.

Both mother and daughter said that none of this would be possible without Davis A&M High School and the nonprofit that helped launch the school, PHASTAR. The nonprofit partners with schools, government and other industries to provide maritime and aerospace experiences for high school students with the goal of “[arming] students and adults with the tools to break the cycle of poverty and achieve self-sufficiency.”

Flowers is now one of an elite and tiny group of Black women pilots. Blavity reports that “only 4.4% of airline transport pilots are women and only 2.7% are Black according to the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration.”

Congratulations Sydney-Marie! You’re flying high now!

Photo Courtesy of WKYC/Blavity

In Career Gems November 18, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

EMOTIONS CITY FACILITATES IT’S 5TH PAN AFRICAN TRAINING.

Emotions City is a Research-Driven, Nation-Building, Training, Coaching and Consulting Firm that work with leaders with top industries using original, home-grown research, and principle-based methodologies. The company which has trained over three thousand professionals in 2019 just concluded it’s high level engagement and training in Rwanda in it’s bid to preserve what is human and expand it’s reach .

The Principal of Emotions City and Lead Coach; Oyinkansola Alabi, also popularly known as Emotions Doctor and Lead Researcher and Facilitator of EMOTIONS CITY said the fete is one of it’s 2019 goals and 2020 will see the company expanding globally and training more people. The Incredible blend of gift and skill is one of Nigeria’s clearest and high impact trainer. She has trained tens of thousands of executives who desired to achieve a high level of Emotional Intelligence and recently became the first Nigerian to attend the prestigious YALE CENTRE for Emotional Intelligence USA. The Cornell University trained Human Resource Executive. MSc Psychology candidate. Rational Emotive behavioural therapist. Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. Executive Life Coach. Hypnotherapist.

Six Seconds Network Licensed Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, member of the British Psychological Society, International Coaching Federation (ICF), and one of the hundred recipients of Nigeria’s most inspiring women award on international women’s day 2019.

Oyinkan works strictly with thinkers, decision makers, influencers as well as the most vulnerable in society. She is shaping Organisational culture and instructing them on how emotional intelligence skills increase productivity, happiness and profitability.

In Editor's Choice November 16, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“THE IDEA OF PARENTING IS NOT TO RAISE YOUR CARBON COPY, BUT TO RAISE A WHOLESOME CHILD” – BUKOLA LAMEED

Bukola Lameed, fondly called “Bookkies” is an incredible blend of passion and skill. Professional Counselor, Certified Cognitive Behavioural Change Therapist and one of Africa’s leading Family Mental Health Coach. The founder of Safety Republic International whose job is to create solutions for preserving the mental and emotional wellness of every member of a nation (the family), help influence the best behaviour and happiness through Training, Coaching, Therapy and Advocacy.

She is an Author of the book, “In a Child’s Mind” and “A parenting Manual” as she uses her skills to raise the confidence and esteem of children who will feel secured as they transit into adulthood.

She is an Emotional Intelligence Certified Specialist, a seasoned International Speaker, Registered Social worker and licenced Family Life Therapist and Broadcaster using the media to propagate the awareness of mental wellness.

An Alumnus of Coventry University United Kingdom and intentional parent to three lovely children.

The wonderful coach who has helped a lot of Parents, especially moms understand the full scope of parenthood shares her inspiring story and journey with me in this interview.

Childhood Influence

I grew up in the midst of boys, 4 of them. So I have the premonition of what the society term Masculinity. I am the 5th child the 1st girl in a family of 8. Growing up for me was very adventurous and exciting, my childhood experiences were a little diffrent from a normal girl child, I was raised to be very indulged, never did house chores, never ran errands, no thanks to my dad (R. I.P).

Inspiration behind Safety Republic

The inspiration came from a place of helplessness and clueless ness to curiosity. If I didn’t know anything I knew I didn’t want to raise my children the way I was raised. I knew there was more to parenting than what I knew then. So I began to search for answers first on how to raise my children well. Moreso I have a deep passion to protect children because I wasn’t protected as a child, I decided to join and learn from several social groups that focuses on children. Then I discovered there’s a lot to learn, unlearn and relearn not only to raise my children but for every precious child. I realised beyond passion skill is required.

Parental Influence on a Child’s Mental Health

As an expert in the field of family mental and emotional health, child protection and safety, I have discovered that children are the reflection of the adults around them, as a child handler you have to be mentally and emotionally stable before you can raise a mentally and emotionally stable child, who would also transit into becoming a stable adult and the cycle continues. I realise that whoever we are as a child is who we become as an adult. So as parents (primary and secondary caregivers) we must consciously begin to preserve childhood experiences by first ensuring we intentionally unlearn some unhealthy narratives first about ourselves as adults and about our parenting roles and responsibilities.

Modern day Parenting & Social Media

Personally I believe that there is nothing like modern day parenting, parenting should still remain the same regardless of the century but the methods in achieving the desired results are what should be updated, just like how a car company would upgrade the features of a car brand, its still the same brand but they keep reviewing the systems and features for it to be relevant to what is obtainable at that period.

Challenges of being a Mental Health Advocate

Doing this work in it’s own is challenging, one of the many challenges we encounter is the ability to make adults unlearn certain cobditioned belief systems and unhealthy behaviours learnt from the environment, culture and religion that had greatly affected and limited the benefits of living a wholesome lives…

Effect on broken Marriages on Kids

One of the many behavioural challenges children are facing came from the fact that they experienced their parents broken marriages. Adverse childhood experiences is a major factor every family should consider whenever they are making their decisions either to stick together or go their separate ways. Adults must begin to embrace therapy and seek professional counsel for both themselves and their children in order to make their decisions (divorce) easy on their children.

Being a Woman of Rubies

Looking at the meaning of Rubies, is exactly who I have always seen myself to be “a priceless precious jewel, passionate, powerful, pretty, and fierce, once in a life time kind of woman”. I am a Woman of Rubies

Parenting Nuggets

Parenting is an ART, you must learn it… you must first parent yourself before you can parent a child..

A child is a unique product that comes with his own unique user’s manual, that must be read and understood on order to get it working at it’s best!

As a parent you do not have the power to change a child, but you can learn the tools of influence.

Children’s vulnerability is adults responsibility, children are not vulnerable when adults are responsible enough to parent them well.

Finally, the idea of parenting is not to raise your carbon copy, but to raise a wholesome child who can make his or her own mistakes and create experiences to become his own unique self.

In Interviews&profile November 15, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

OPRAH SAYS SHE HAS ‘NO REGRETS’ FOR CHOOSING NOT TO MARRY OR HAVE CHILDREN

Oprah Winfrey says she does not have any regrets over deciding to not marry or have children.

The 65-year-old talk show host has been in a relationship with long-time partner Stedman Graham for 33 years.

And, despite getting engaged in 1992, the couple have never tied the knot or expanded their family.

Speaking to People magazine, Winfrey revealed that while she did consider becoming a mother following Graham’s proposal, she felt it was the one job she might not be cut out for.

“At one point in Chicago I had bought an additional apartment because I was thinking, ‘Well, if we get married, I’m going to need room for children,’” Winfrey said.

The philanthropist added that much of the reason she decided against having children was because she witnessed “the depth of responsibility and sacrifice that is actually required to be a mother” during her years on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

“I realised, ‘Whoa, I’m talking to a lot of messed-up people, and they are messed up because they had mothers and fathers who were not aware of how serious that job is,’” Winfrey said.

“I don’t have the ability to compartmentalise the way I see other women do. It is why, throughout my years, I have had the highest regard for women who choose to be at home [with] their kids, because I don’t know how you do that all day long.

“Nobody gives women the credit they deserve.”

Winfrey continued by explaining why she and Graham decided to remain engaged for so long, admitting that she believes things “would have changed” if they had got married.

“I used to think about this all the time, that I was working these 17-hour days, and so were my producers, and then I go home and I have my two dogs and I have Stedman, who’s letting me be who I need to be in the world,” she said.

“He’s never demanding anything from me like, ‘Where’s my breakfast? Where’s my dinner?’ Never any of that, which I believed would have changed had we married.”

Winfrey adds: “Both he and I now say, ‘If we had married, we would not be together’.

“No question about it — we would not stay married, because of what that would have meant to him, and I would have had my own ideas about it.”

Winfrey’s decisions to not marry or have children are ones she still stands by today, explaining that she has “filled that maternal fold” with charitable work.

“I have not had one regret about that,” Winfrey explained.

“I also believe that part of the reason why I don’t have regrets is because I got to fulfill it in the way that was best for me: the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa,” she says.

“Those girls fill that maternal fold that I perhaps would have had. In fact, they overfill — I’m overflowed with maternal.”

In Career Gems November 13, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

UGANDAN JOURNALIST, NILA YASMIN HAS WON THE 2019 AFRICAN WOMEN IN MEDIA AWARD

Ugandan Journalist, Nila Yasmin has won the 2019 APO GROUP, African Women in Media Awards, which recognises, celebrates and empowers African women journalists who support female entrepreneurship in Africa.

The actress and journalist who co-founded GLIM and currently works with Media 256, (producers of CNN African Voices and Inside Africa) is a passionate advocate for women empowerment.

In 2018, she co-directed and featured in ‘Me Myself and You’ a short film that tackles personal insecurities, image and identity among young females and was nominated in the 2019 CineChico Awards in Spain. And in 2019, she was among Uganda’s first all-female cast and crew that was behind the groundbreaking film ‘Bed of Thorns’ that tackles Gender Based Violence and urges women to speak up.

As promised, the winning African female journalist was bestowed with a USD 2,500 cash prize, an all-expenses paid trip to a prestigious International Women’s Forum, and online courses from one of the most respected international universities.

Way to Go Nila!

Source: Espact.com

In self development November 13, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

5 CHALLENGES IN LIFE YOU MUST OVERCOME TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON

Life is an uncertain roller coaster. You can choose to embrace it and enjoy the ride, joyfully learning from your experiences along the way; or you can choose to rebel against all of life’s challenges, resenting every moment of your journey. The latter robs you of any growth or development, while the former gives you the opportunity to learn from those challenges and become a better person for having experienced them.

While “better” may be relative, one thing is certain – “better” means improved. No matter where you find yourself, there is always room for improvement. Even a monk strives daily to improve himself, striving always to become a better person.

Challenges in life are a given, and they can be used to your advantage. Each one is an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. Ultimately, the goal is to use what you learn as you grow to become the best version of yourself.

Here are 6 common challenges in life you must overcome on your road to becoming a better person:

1. Loss

Whether you lose your job, an opportunity, or a relationship – loss is an inevitable part of life.

Regardless of how it happens, loss is one of the life’s biggest challenges. It can feel abrupt and disruptive. However, loss gives you the opportunity to reflect on what is truly important so that you to keep moving forward.

Losing something that you had, or really wanted, can be a welcome wake up call. Loss forces you to ask yourself, “What about what I lost was valuable to me?” and “What am I willing to do to get what I want?”

Choosing to examine your loss through the lens of these questions causes you to assess the true value of what you lost, as well as why you value it. Having a clear understanding of what you value and why you value it, is key to becoming a better person because it gives your words & actions integrity.

2. Failure

There is not a single person alive who hasn’t experienced failure. To grow, you must fail. Failure offers a natural checkpoint on your journey, one that allows you to evaluate your recent behavioral choices so that you can make improvements. When you fail, you get the chance to review your decisions and behaviors, like an athlete reviews the taped footage between games.

Reviewing the decisions and actions that lead you to fail is an invaluable exercise. Understanding how the decisions you made led to certain behaviors and actions can prevent you from making the same mistakes again. Such a review can also reveal important details you missed the first time that would allow you to take a better and more informed approach the next time.

The experience of failure causes you to develop compassion, empathy and sympathy. Your experience gives you a point of commonality with anyone who has had a similar experience. Those three emotions are essential tools on your journey to becoming a better person because they allow others to feel safe and seen around you.

3. Setbacks

They have many names: missteps, monkey wrenches, unforeseen circumstances. But setbacks are ever present on our journey to becoming a better person.

We have all experienced a slow in progress, hindrance or delay on our journey. The challenge is understanding why the delay happened. What caused our progress to slow down or plateau?

You can intellectually know all the right things to do or say, but there are those moments when your humanness gets the best of you. Despite your best efforts to be a better person, you suddenly do or say something you regret. Perhaps you react in a way that is negative or out of alignment with your desire to become a better person. ITS OKAY!

Setbacks are learning opportunities. Having a firm understanding of the types of things that slow your progress will allow you to both avoid and preempt them.

Resilience is one positive side effect of overcoming setbacks. The journey to becoming a better person requires that you be mentally tough. Setbacks are an organic way to build that mental toughness while still maintaining integrity in your actions, and a sense of emotional awareness that promotes a safe environment where others feel seen.

4. Establishing Your Moral Compass

Distinguishing right from wrong for yourself is an ever present life challenge. You may agree with one ideology today, and another tomorrow. Changing your mind is your right, and deciding where you stand is your responsibility. The two go hand in hand.

Deciding what you believe is important on your road to bcoming a better person. Self-improvement is anchored in your own personal sense of right and wrong.

Most people act in accordance with their values and beliefs. Giving yourself permission to grow as person means taking time to reexamine them both. It is possible you will discover that your values and beliefs are no longer in alignment with your end goal.

Thankfully, your assessment of the misalignment will lead you to do what is necessary to once again find your true north. The ability to self-correct will serve you on you journey.

5. Mastering Your Mind

Your mind can be a formidable opponent on your path to becoming a better person. It can pipe up with all kinds of negative commentary when things are not going well, and can have the power to derail you with doubt and fear – if you let it. Mastering your mind is one of the greatest life challenges of all.

Your mind controls your perspective, it informs how you receive and process your interactions with the world around you. Unlike other things you can claim mastery over after a finite amount of time, the mind can take some a lifetime to master. The challenge is showing up willing to do the work of mastering the mind everyday, while having a complete awareness of the infinite nature of this work.

Where ever you go, there you are; thus it’s impossible to hide from yourself. If your mind is unruly and unkind, then it will be hard for you to become a better person, primarily because you are not being better to yourself.

Luckily, there are a myriad of ways to begin the work of mastering you mind. The key is to create space for you to be with yourself in a healthy way that promotes growth. Some common methods to facilitate focused personal time are therapy, meditation, self-reflection, prayer, intentional silence, journaling and being out in nature.

6. Overcoming Your Story

Everyone was once a child. There are things you experienced that were outside of your control, regardless of their severity those experiences stay with you. Those experiences become part of your story. Overcoming the story you tell yourself about your own experience can be quite the life challenge.

Whether you grew up poor, didn’t have a lot of love in your house, or didn’t feel seen, it affects the way you move through the world. There are the facts of these experiences and there are fuzzy edges where our minds fill in the blanks.

For Example: if you say “I grew up poor and I am always going to be poor,” that is an example of your story taking control.

Comparatively, if you said “I grew up poor, but I am working hard now. I’m doing whatever I can to make sure I have all the things I need and am comfortable”– even if it’s hard, that is still an example of overcoming your story.

Author: Awilda Rivera

In Career Gems November 13, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

RUTH BADER GINSBURG WINS $1 MILLION FOR CHAMPIONING HUMAN RIGHTS AND GENDER EQUALITY

US Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been awarded a $1 million prize given annually to a thinker whose ideas “have profoundly shaped human understanding and advancement.”⁣⁣
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The 2019 Berggruen Prize for Philosophy & Culture was announced on Wednesday. The prize, first awarded in 2016, is given by the Berggruen Institute, a Los Angeles-based research organization dedicated to improving governance and cross-cultural understanding. Recipients direct the prize money to the nonprofit organization of their choice.⁣⁣
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The three previous winners have all been philosophers. They are Charles Taylor of Canada, Onora O’Neil of Britain and Martha Nussbaum of the United States. Five hundred people were nominated for this year’s prize.⁣⁣
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The prize committee called Ginsburg “a lifelong trailblazer for human rights and gender equality,” and “a constant voice in favor of equality, the rights of workers and the separation of church and state,” according to the New York Times.⁣⁣
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Ginsburg will receive the award during a private ceremony at the New York Public Library in December.⁣⁣
Source: Times of Israel⁣⁣

In self development November 13, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

5 WAYS TO MANAGE ANXIETY

We all know what anxiety can feel like; it can be utterly debilitating and soul-destroying. Many of us are familiar with the pounding chest where you feel your heart is about to explode. Your face flushes or goes suddenly quite pale. You can feel the blood draining from your face.

The panic inside you says: “People are going to notice you experiencing this. Get out of here!” And the stinging fear of embarrassment and humiliation can overwhelm you to the point of tears.

Such experiences can be completely terrifying. We often want to stop feeling these symptoms altogether, however we need to recognize that in many cases, experiencing anxiety actually serves us well.

Our brains are biologically wired to help us survive. What’s happening here however, is our innate fear response has become hyper vigilant in a way that no longer serves us. It’s working in overdrive when we perceive (often subconsciously) there is a threat to our safety but there may not actually be a physical and real threat.

There are strategies you can use to regain control but you will need to consciously learn how to manage anxiety and reduce the emotional, mental and physical experiences you’re suffering.

1. Work with a Professional to Identify and Get Familiar with Your Triggers

Your experience of anxiety will be different to the next person and the next person after that. It’s important to recognize that the specific prescription of tools and techniques that work for you will be different to how they work for someone else.

Spending time to recognize patterns and common features of your anxiety should be a primary step in your management and recovery plan.

Despite popular belief that we need to go back to the root cause of how and why your anxiety started, it’s important to know that sometimes significantly traumatic events and/or experiences are better contained in the box with the lid on. In other cases, accessing the catalyst can be a lengthy and experience and near impossible.

Working with a qualified and trained mental health professional can greatly help you to gently and safely assess and determine things which can derail you. Doing so will not only help you protect your emotional and mental health, but add a greater sense of control in mapping and identifying graduated steps to work through as a treatment plan.

Look to partner with a supportive, empathetic trained professional in your corner who can see risks and help you develop suitable tailored action plans to manage and reduce symptoms that trigger your symptoms. You’ll increase control of your own progress, and your growing confidence can exponentially increase your recovery than trying to go it alone.

If you can’t access face to face or group workshops, online therapy (e.g. Better Help or Talk Space) is becoming much more widely available. There are options available for everyone.

2. Have Breathing Techniques up Your Sleeve

The mistake often made by those in the throes of experiencing heightened symptoms, is trying to recall specific ‘helpful’ thoughts to eradicate the unhelpful ones in that moment. This doesn’t work very often. It’s like trying to open the door of a front loader washing machine just commencing a spin cycle to put more laundry inside!

If your symptoms are highly intense, such strategy is unlikely to succeed. Your mind is the washing machine, by the way.

The way we breathe has incredible power beyond simply inhaling oxygen and expelling it from our lungs. The rhythm, pace and depth all have significant calming and healing effects on us.

Neuroscience documents that by switching focus to managing your breath halts certain neurons sending panic signals throughout your body.^[1] The result is calmer physiology.

Making it your job to calm your breath first helps reduce intensity of those tangible symptoms screaming at you.

We breathe in two ways: through our thoracic region and through our diaphragm. The latter is the one you want to focus your attention to:

Place your non-dominant hand, palm down flat over your chest and place the other just under your ribs on your diaphragm.
Either close your eyes or drop your gaze to a 45° angle and choose a spot to loosely focus on.
Draw a breath in through your nose, gradual, slow and smooth as silk for three counts.
Hold the breath for a split second.
Purse your lips and expel your breath again for 4 or 5 counts, slow, smooth as silk. Control the exhalation.

The next breath cycle, you may want to breathe in for three counts and exhale for five counts. Practice this for at least 5 cycles or at least till you start to notice you are physically calmer in some respects.

If you suffer from panic disorder,^[2] you can initially feel increased panic or anxiety doing this technique. Stop and practice again a little while later. You need to switch focus from thoracic (chest) breathing which is common during panic attacks, to diaphragmatic breathing.

Don’t wait until you’re in the heat of the moment to try putting the technique into effect. Practice during a time when you are calmer so your brain and body develop a familiarity of the process and what a reduction in your symptoms feels like.

Like a competitive sport, you practice off the court so that when you get on the court, you’re well familiar with what you need to do. You only need to press the proverbial button and let a more automatic, practiced process wield its magic. Practice.

3. Learn Grounding and Distraction Techniques Which Give Your Mind Something to Do

Such techniques are distractions. Do they get rid of your anxiety? Unlikely. Do they help to cope with and reduce the intensity of your symptoms? Yes, so that you can recalibrate yourself to a more organized mental state from which you can engage cognitive exercises that challenge and reframe unhelpful thoughts.

If you’re never thought games such as eye-spy would ever come in handy in your adult years, here is news for you!

Start with the letter ‘A’ and look to name everything you can see around you starting with ‘A’. Move on then to the letter ‘B’ then ‘C’ and so on. Search as far, wide and deep as you can looking for objects that start with your letter of focus.

Or, use colors. Work your way through the colors of the rainbow sequentially identifying as many things as you can that showcase that color. Fully immerse into the exercise and give your mind something to focus on. Spend a few minutes to do this.

A tangible grounding technique is to focus on what you have physical contact with. Pay attention to the sensations; how your bottom touches and squishes into the chair or your back muscles press into the back of your seat.

How do your feet feel in your shoes? How do your clothes feel against your skin? You’re tasking your mind with an activity which decreases capacity for it to focus on your present symptoms of anxiety.

4. Try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Professor Jasper Smits and Professor Stefan Hofman have conducted extensive research into the most effective treatments for managing adult anxiety. They published findings in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry from an extensive meta-analysis which revealed CBT to consistently have strong impact in the treatment and management of anxiety.^[3]

CBT involves addressing, challenging and reframing negative thoughts and re-shaping unhelpful behavior. A task-based, practical approach is applied to help clients recognize maladaptive thinking and habits, learn more helpful and positive ways to behave and think; and in turn, transform their symptoms.

For individuals to really experience benefit, undertaking regular applications of doable homework exercises is most effective. CBT is highly effective but requires individuals’ regular commitment.

Expect to work with a mental health professional on a weekly basis for three to four months. Find someone who won’t just give you homework sheets (that’s lazy therapy) but is closely attuned to providing you with good education, comfortably assess any resistance to change, and be able to modify and adjust exercises that best enable you to do them.

You won’t just experience a reduction in your symptoms because you develop such strong self-awareness and self-monitoring skills. You’ll learn mental skills that will strengthen your resilience and propel you further forward toward goals of how you want to feel, think and behave.

5. Try the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

EFT which involves applying light repetitive pressure to meridian points, is becoming increasingly documented as an effective symptom reduction technique for anxiety.^[4] Also known as ‘tapping,’ anyone can learn to self-administer it with the guidance of a practitioner.

In collaboration with professional associate Gary Craig, Clinical psychologist Dr Roger Callahan^[5] developed a simple yet effective self-administered process where individuals self-apply pressure to acupressure points on their body.

Using techniques from neuro linguistic programming and thought field therapy, individuals consciously lean into degrees of discomfort concerning their thoughts, feelings and physical symptoms.

Best learned under instruction and support of an EFT practitioner or trained professional, you initially apply mindfulness to consciously become aware of your anxiety symptoms – thoughts, feelings and physical sensations.

As you tap, you gradually start to experience relief and reduction in your symptoms. However, remember the level of impact felt will differ and progress at different rates from one person to the next.

Research shows that the positive effect of tapping is long lasting, particularly for anxiety disorders and post traumatic stress. It is becoming used more widely for other mental health challenges including weight loss, grief and loss, low self-esteem and confidence.

6. Use Imagery to Help Manage Anxiety

This is such an under-utilized but very powerful mechanism of our brain when it comes to directing our thoughts and behavior in a way to serve us, particularly in the context of anxiety.

Our brains are neuroplastic. We can train and rewire them to work better in our favor, yet we often live the majority of our day unconsciously by default.

Think about how many times you have day-dreamed today. When your tummy starts growling just before lunchtime, can you easily hook into images of what you want to satiate your hunger?

Often we engage imagery without thinking, but guided imagery is a key technique that helps with the reduction of anxiety with diagnoses of PTSD, social phobia and performance anxiety.^[6]

Your brain’s amygdala plays a key role in emotional regulation^[7] and hence those emotions connected with perceived fear responses when you feel anxious.

Imaginal exposure therapy (vividly imagining the feared object, situation or activity) works to dampen amygdala activity and reduce the intensity of emotions experienced in anxiety. You have the advantage of visiting memories in a safe, controlled space interspersed with grounding/relaxation, and gently exposing your mind’s eye to that which you feel anxious about. Starting this process should be done with a trained professional.

7. Ensure Relaxation Techniques Are in Your Toolkit

Being anxious is exhausting. For those who suffer from general anxiety, your stress response mechanisms are constantly running, so you need to learn how to tell your body to relax.

Having a couple of meditative instructional relaxation apps you can instantly access through your phone should be on your list of essential management strategies.

In your choice of apps and relaxation techniques. consider choosing one which engages as many of your senses as possible. The more physical feedback you’re directed to notice a reduction in your physical symptoms throughout the relaxation exercise, the more likely you will stick to it and be motivated to repeat it.

Progressive muscle relaxation should be in your anxiety management toolkit. This method directs you to focus on noticing the different feeling between active tension and resulting relaxation when you release the tension of a muscle. Sequentially working through muscle groups in the body from head to toe, your mind is directing and telling your body to become calmer.

You need to be sensible with this one where you might be recovering from an injury or be at risk of developing a physical injury. Certainly avoid this exercise (and meditation) whilst driving.

Again, practicing this one at regular times throughout the day gives your brain and muscles a mental blueprint to relax such that it will be more effective in anxiety-provoking situations. Because you can also feel immediate tangible differences, it can boost your confidence earlier than starting with exercises that are purely cognitive.

The Bottom Line

Reviewing your diet and exercise regime is a given. Reducing caffeine intake, processed food and improving physical movement you engage in daily has incredibly strong impact and makes the strategies above even more effective when you do them.

However, for you to get a strong handle on how to manage and reduce your experience of anxiety, you’re going to have to develop a commitment to regularly applying changes.

If you don’t know where to start, get in touch with a therapist. Your first step is to develop a strong awareness of what you’re experiencing and what could be triggering it.

When you know and understand more, you can do far more in the pilot seat to land your anxiety back on the tarmac and potentially never let it take off from that runway again.

Author: Helen Dasilva

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