Esther Ijewere

In Editor's Choice April 25, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

“I aspire to be a role model as an artist” – Fagbenro Christiana Boluwatife

Fagbenro Christiana Boluwatife, best known as Tife Chris, is a young creative studying Geology at Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago Iwoye, Ogun State. She hails from Ado Odo-Ota, Ogun State. Tife started making art at a very early age of 5, but she developed deep interest at the age of 18 when she learnt how to draw using pencils and started using oil colours. Her passion for Art went deeper when she discovered the beauty in it and not just beauty, but also a way of expressing oneself. She’s a Christian, a lover of science and very active in sports in the likes of swimming and basketball. She shares her Art to the world through stage painting, writing, music and poetry, she is also an active volunteer and a member of few NGOs that aim at making positive impact to the lives of others. Tife reminds me of my years as an undergraduate, her passion and tenacity is unwithered and it’s very reflective in her work and ambience. She shares her journey with me in this exclusive Interview.

Childhood Preparation
MY childhood didn’t prepare me for what I do now, although it played a huge role due to the fact that I was very creative at that stage. I started painting and using watercolours at a very young age but I never for once saw myself doing what I’m doing today. I did those things for fun and never expected them to be a huge part of my life. Growing up was quite interesting and, as a normal child, I have both good and bad memories. I grew up in a strict and competitive environment where everyone had to meet certain standards. There was no one to share my thoughts or emotions with, so I learned to develop myself even when there was no one to talk to. This has made me active in few NGOs so I could give to the society what I couldn’t get. It wasn’t always easy and I got to learn from challenges.

My passion for Art
I wasn’t directly inspired to go into Art, truly, science has been my passion since childhood. I’ve always wanted to be a medical doctor, to help people, that’s where my passion came from. I loved to see people heal, get better. And I never for once thought of going into Art, so nothing could inspire me to venture down the world of Art.

I can only say God made a turn of events to make me see what I was completely oblivious to. At a stage in my life where science wasn’t responding, I was forced to look at the bright side of Art. And since then I’ve been falling deeper in love with Art, all dimensions of it.

My Artistic Journey
I thank God for the journey so far, it’s been wonderful, even though there have been lots of challenges especially due to the fact that I studies a different field from Art, finances as a student and the fact that I ultimately have to balance up my academics first before anything else. I’ve had experiences with lessons I know would be very useful even after I graduate.

Balancing School with Art
That dexterity has been a natural part of me, human beings are very dynamic and when we put our minds to something, no matter how diverse or colossal it may be, you’ll be done with it before you know it. Timing is also very important even though I find it hard sometimes to meet up within the appropriate time, going for lectures at the right time, going to church, creating time for art and writing, meeting up with basketball practice and guitar lessons, time to study, taking few hours to swim and sacrificing time for rehearsals. As long as I have a mental timetable and I try not to overwork myself while creating a compulsory time to rest, by God’s grace I’m able to do just fine.

My Aspiration
The first is to be a successful Artist. Let the world realise your talents can make you stand out. I would also love to travel the world and explore all forms of Art. I really have a lot to learn, I go on the internet and discover lots of amazing works from different artists. I would love to learn as many forms of Art as I can.

I also hope to own an Art firm with a gallery where everyone can be who they want to be and create ideas, use the beauty of Art to make people’s lives better, to make them heal.

Lastly, I aspire to be a role model as an artist, someone who inspires, an artist people can look up to. I want to be happy both in the outside world and with my family and home.

Three women who inspire me to be better and why
Ms. Esther Ijewere, convener of Women of Rubies, Ruby Girls, Rubies Ink and Walk Against Rape and Benita Nnarchortam, personal photographer /SA to the former governor of Ogun state and co-founder, Kuta Nigeria. And my mother, CEO k2cut fashion. These women have inspired me to be better no matter where you’re starting from, they’ve taught me to sacrifice and I’ve felt the love of a woman from them especially on the Ruby Girls page. I love people who break limits and create new ideas and Benita has really inspired me in that area.

Challenges of being an Artist
Time is my major challenge, meeting up with schedule is very hard and sometimes I have to cancel some events and I’m grateful to HRM, my friends because they help me when they can and cheer me to move on when I seem tired. Managing my craft and handling school has indeed been stressful and sometimes I realise I have just little time to myself.

Funding and equipment has also been a challenge, what’s the use of time without money? Getting school materials and Art materials too. Thank God for my parents, my sister and close friends and the fact that I get commissioned works to support myself with. Also, the environment where I’m based as a student doesn’t give enough exposure and insight into Art, they rarely appreciate Art and sometimes volunteering would be depreciated.

Being a Woman of Rubies
I believe I’m special in my own way. Everyone has that hidden talent in them that makes them stand out and unfolding these talents has made me realise I’m a Woman of Ruby. I can achieve whatever I put my mind to.

Dear Young Women,
It’s never too early to start trying, now is best. Don’t let your present state limit you. The only thing you should be afraid of is not to have a dream. If you have a vision, pursue it!

In Inspiration April 22, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

12 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Multi-Talented Artist Wana Wana

Nigerian writer, poet, journalist, filmmaker, and tv personality, Wana Udobang has been described as “one of the biggest champions of the new spoken word renaissance. Here are 12 amazing facts about her;

She graduated from the University for The Creative Arts with a first class degree in Journalism.
She is an ambassador for the Mirabel center in Lagos.
She founded the 1k4cancer initiative which to date has raised over three million naira in funds to assist women from low income families with their cancer treatment.
She worked as a radio presenter and producer at 92.3 Inspiration FM in Lagos, Nigeria for over six years and hosted the television show “Airtel Touching Lives”.
She is the producer of the documentary “Sensitive Skin” a documentary film about the skin condition, Psoriasis.
She is a public speaker in the areas of gender advocacy, youth mentorship and is a well sought after moderator in the creative and culture space.
She has starred in a number of television series and films like Indigo and Flip, to name a few. She plays Visha in the award winning Burkinabe film “Frontiéres”.
She has been a freelance writer and contributor for Aljazeera Online, Guardian UK NEXT, BellaNaija and the Huffington Post.
Wana has worked with the BBC Radio4, BBC world service, 92.3 Inspiration FM and Resonance FM.
She just aired a YouTube series called Warriors. She had earlier aired Culture Diaries and Room 313.
She also is the creator of the poetry series “Words and Inspirations” and the interview series “Culture Diaries”.
Wana is creative director of WanaWana productions and hosts the television show Airtel Touching Lives.

How inspiring to see her combine all this as a media lady.

In self development April 22, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

KELECHI ANYALECHI: HOW TO BUILD A STRONG FAMILY DURING THE LOCKDOWN

The family unit is one of the most important institutions, and the pandemic could change the dynamics of every family, but it shouldn’t. From the heap of unplanned bills to the heat of uncertainty. The lockdown is like a Tsunami that came to knock on the door of everyone’s mind.

On a Live Instagram chat with Men who Inspire yesterday,Certified Coach and high impact speaker speaker; Kelechi Anyalechi shed some light on How to Build a Stronger Family during the lockdown.

Yours truly had her pen and paper handy while the session was going on,and here are the 7 ways he said we can build a stronger family during the lockdown.

1.Values: Every family should have strong values that can stand the test of time.

2.Vision: Have a plan for your family, plan for rainy days, and never allow the media influence your mindset this season. Do what you can and how you can do it and stick to your plan.

3. Communication: With emotions flying round, you need to master the art of communicating with love, empathy and understanding. Practice active listening with your kids and partner. Be patient with them.

4. Time: Be decisive about your time, spend time with your family, especially the kids. Consciously create play time with them and be involved in their daily activities, from school work to watching their favorite cartoon with them. Be present and let them feel your presence.

Observation: Pay keen attention to the kids and what influences them and make adjustment where necessary. Children are naturally influenced by the things they see and who they spend time with. This is the best time to know what they’ve learnt when you were busy, but with the lockdown and Stay home, help them un-learn those things if it doesn’t align with your family values.

Spirituality:Pray together as a family and spend time in faith. Your values should emanate from your spirituality. Don’t teach your children about God out of fear, but teach them out of understanding with you just being a guide.

Play: Diffuse the tension, Play with your spouse and children. Just spend time playing that’s how you can derive joy and happiness. If you don’t play with your partner, another person will play with them. Be as addicted to your family as you are with your work. Be observant of your family and pay attention to non-verbal communication too.

Lastly, God has taught us one thing with the lockdown; that “God and family” are very important. In Pastor Adeboye’s word; “God has placed the whole world on compulsory holiday”. Spend it wisely.

Compiled by ; Esther Ijewere™©

For more Inspiring Instagram Live videos and story about Family, skills acquisition, Mental health and Time Management, Follow Men who Inspire Here

In Interviews&profile April 21, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Adesunmbo Adeoye: I will like to change the mindset culture that relegates Nigerian women to the ‘other room’

Adesunmbo Adeoye is the CEO and Chief Creative Director at Esob events and Founder of Esob Heroes as well as the brains behind the Inspiring Change Conference. A multi-passionate entrepreneur, she is a graduate of Accountancy and Finance and an alumna of Lagos Business School. As the convener and host of the annual Conference, she seeks to deliberately impact knowledge, inspire change and transform the lives of men and women in business, with a focus on nation building. Recently appointed as a Cherie Blair Foundation Brand Ambassador, she was also honored in London as a Goldman Sachs Star Scholar, one of the 10,000 women in Africa to benefit from the initiative, with impeccable results in business and her outstanding drive to mentor others to fulfill their true purpose. A mentor to many and a recipient of numerous awards for her dedication and contribution towards progressive initiatives and humanity in Nigeria, she talks about the inspiration behind starting the Inspiring Change Conference, why Nigerian businesses are not thriving as they should, how more women can get to the top and a decision she took that turned her life around amongst other issues.

Give us a peep into your early years and education, how was it like for you?
I grew up in a family where education was seen and mirrored as a huge asset and so I was privileged and supported to complete my diploma in Accountancy and Finance from the Great Yaba College of Technology, Yaba, Lagos after which I ventured into the banking world.

What made you decide on the “Inspiring Change Conference”? What is the inspiration behind it all?
I completed and was issued a certificate in Entrepreneurial Management in December 2011 by EDC Pan-Atlantic University Lagos, which came as a scholarship sponsored by the Goldman Sachs 10,000 women initiative in Africa. After I finished, I thought of how I could pay it forward. I had that urge to see other women fulfill purpose in ministry, business and career, and this was what birthed the “Inspiring Change with Sunmbo Adeoye” initiative, in 2013. Out of my ceaseless desire to support entrepreneurial ideas, through mentorship, advisory services, free training, access to market and capacity building, the initiative established its vision in two folds in one year. This we achieved through the ‘Esob Heroes” annual “Inspiring Change Conference”; a platform where women deliberately connect with leading female entrepreneurs, draw strength and glean inspirations that will propel them to take the lead in their respective industries. Though women may sometimes be dominated by men, you position yourself for growth and gain opportunities and access to life changing information that will not only empower but move your world forward. The second part is through the “Inspiring Change Deliberately” movement, which seeks to educate the less privileged woman in business and the girl child, deliberately with a focus on nation building through entrepreneurial advancement training, free skill acquisition programs, mentor meets mentee programs and undergraduate blue print boot camp, to name a few.

There are several women-focused conferences in existence already; what makes yours different?
The Inspiring Change Conference is a one of a kind event and has been rated amongst one of the most inspiring conferences in the past five years. It is one of the most anticipated annual conferences that seeks to actively challenge stereotypes, fight bias, broaden perceptions, improve the lives and situation of SME’s and celebrate women’s achievements. It has over the years become notable for its laudable impact amongst women and men as we not only have female attendees but also men who desire growth in all areas of their lives; be it in ministry, finance, business and career. Not to mention those who fly in from outside of Nigeria and travel in from other states too.

You describe yourself as a multi-passionate entrepreneur; take us briefly through your entrepreneurial journey?
As a young lady, with close to a decade of active service in the banking industry, my dream was to further become a successful business owner. In 2011, I resigned from banking, and applied for a scholarship at the Lagos Business School, under the Goldman Sachs 10,000 Women Initiative. I was awarded the scholarship, and graduated with a certificate in entrepreneurial management. This experience did not only change my life, it also improved how I now structure my business. I can say now that I started off my entrepreneurial journey as the brain behind the Esob Global Venture, with one arm being the events management outfit. We also ventured into training of budding female entrepreneurs through the Esob Heroes platform and the initiative, which is the one that drives the “Inspiring Change Conference”, “Tweet Conference”, and the “Inspiring Change Deliberately” movement. I also run a weekly YouTube series, tagged “Inspiring Change with Sunmbo”, where I churn out short video messages of hope, restoration and transformation in business, relationships and many more.

As someone with years of entrepreneurship experience, what are some of the challenges you would say Nigerian entrepreneurs go through?
Our economy as we all know has depended too long on Oil and just recently, agriculture. The increasing need to diversify from its dependency on oil has now caused the government to support entrepreneurship, but we need laws that encourage and support the aspiring entrepreneurial youth in Nigeria, to develop and execute business ideas. I usually say anyone who starts a business and thrives in Nigeria is King because its not as easy as it looks. We need laws that protect intellectual property from people who feed largely from plagiarizing the finished work of others. We need access to loans that would not enslave the borrower by the huge percentage placed on it, but easily accessible with no outrageous requests for collateral as equity. I know Lagos state is trying through the Lagos State Employment Trust Fund, Lagos State Chamber of Commerce, as well as other state agencies, to encourage indigenous businesses with grants, but we can do much more. We also go through managing to thrive amidst major infrastructural deficiencies in the economy, like power, multiple taxations, different levels of charges from different government parastatals that frustrate the little effort and investment of our small businesses. There are also the government policies that are usually just announced without proper discussions and deliberation with local investors, who are usually affected negatively. All of this and many more are the challenges we face as entrepreneurs in Nigeria.

How can we help more women succeed in business and career? What are some tips you would give women entrepreneurs so they can succeed better?
Be forward thinking and seek new ways to doing what you are doing. Collaborate with like minds and those whose goods and services compliment your vision. Learn more and keep growing, because you are only as good as your last training. Put a working structure in place so the business can live beyond you and finally, rest and delegate as much as possible. You are first the business, so take your health and wellness seriously. These few tips should help you succeed better in business.

Interview by Tobi Awodipe for Guardian Nigeria

In Interviews&profile April 19, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Meet the Nigerian Women Helping the needy Amid Covid19 Lockdown

With the fast spread of Covid19 and indefinite Lockdown, Nigerians are getting agitated and many worried on where the next meal will come from. One thing that has proven that Nigerians are one of the kindest people in the world is the show of love from many people, especially these women on Facebook.

They have taken it upon themselves to support people in dire need this season, from making a call for donation for widows to giving single moms relief packages between 5-10k and more, or just food support.

They are literally giving hope to the hopeless and standing up for the vulnerable.

If you or anyone need help this season, kindly follow any of them and you might just be one of the lucky people to benefit from their benevolence.

Josephine Effah-Chukwuma

A leading activist on gender based violence and women’s human rights in Nigeria. Josephine Effah – Chukwuma pioneered the establishment of shelter for female victims of violence in Nigeria and is the Executive Director of Project Alert on Violence Against Women, a nongovernmental organization that provides information on various forms of violence against women and support services to victims in Nigeria. Few days ago she teamed up with Nollywood Actress Kate Henshaw and other well meaning Nigerians to raise N1M for 100 women in dire need in the lockdown states, she is currently rolling out funds to the beneficiaries.

It is very likely more funds will be raised and they will be able to touch more lives. If you need soft cash to get by, follow her.

Yinka Ogunde

Founder of Concerned Parents and Educators Initiative (CPE) and the CEO of Edumark Consult, a leading consultancy firm in the Nigerian education space. Having worked for over a decade with different stakeholders in education, Yinka Ogunde realised that any effective and lasting solution to the question of education in Nigeria would have to involve all stakeholders in education. It would not be a case of just government intervention or private sector intervention or citizen revolution.

Yinka Ogunde then reasoned that for this whole-sector powered solution to ever see the light of day, all parties would need a meeting point. This meeting point is what turned out to be CPE. An organisation that has given hope to several people in light of the Coronavirus Pandemic. From supporting single mums, to widows and also teachers who are greatly affected by this Pandemic. CPE has been a ray of light for many Nigerians in dire need amid the lockdwon period.

Olufunmilayo Odunaike

If you want to know the positive impact of social.media, please go on Olufunmilayo Odunaike wall on Facebook , this beautiful woman who recently turned 40 have been tagged “Mother Theresa” of Facebook, from helping sick kids raise funds to connecting those in need to donors, not to mention her recent Facebook giveaway lockdown challenge that saw people winning between. 20 – 100k. She is always doing something to give back and throwing in some positive light in the world. See one of major giveback post here

Defunke Adewunmi

Adefunke Adewumi, the founder of Black Diamonds Support Foundation, a non-profit organisation that supports and empower women especially widows and single mothers, she is well known in the slums ving hope, medical, wellbeing and educational support to indigents children, across the country. She speaks against domestic violence, rape, child abuse and molestation.Her popularity soar high with her annual outreach, tagged “Project 5000”, a project she kicked off after the death of her philanthropist mum who died seven years ago. The initiative went viral on Facebook when she fed 5000 indigents children during Christmas and also supported them with basic school needs The single mum of twins who holds a Bachelor’s degree in Guidance and Counselling from University of Ado Ekiti and Master’s of Arts in International Relations and Strategic Studies from Benue State university Makurdi.

Defunke is passionate to see both children and adult live their potentials to maximum capabilities. She has continously use her platform to support vulnerable persons in the society. Her most recent effort has been targeted towards raising funds for people who are highly affected by the lockdown, especially single parent in dire need.

Olori Ranti Ajayi

Olori Oluranti Ajayi is the founder of Womanhood with Olori Ajayi Foundation. It was founded on June 1st 2018. It was created as a Not for Profit organization (NGO) aimed at reaching out to the less priviledged in society.

Through her orgnaisation; Womanhood , she has been able to successfully impact lives of the less priviledged with several charity and philantrophic gestures, and has supported so many women and their families since the lockdown started.

Folusho Liasu

Mofoluwasho Monisola Liasu is a Lagos based practising lawyer. She attended the University of Lagos, Akoka where she bagged a first degree in law and thereafter proceeded to bag an additional post graduate degree in International law and diplomacy. Folusho runs a thriving lingerie business (Posh Lingerie) which caters to the intricate needs of ladies. Folusho being very humane, is passionate about humanity, widows, special needs children, physically challenged and cancer survivors. Her interest in this special category of people stems from their inability to meet their basic needs, thereby leaving their survival at the mercy of philanthropists and willful givers. Her advocacy is publicised majorly on her Super Parent Facebook page where her passion is seen through all known conventional means to source for funds and generate awareness for the groups’ often pitiable plight and weary conditions. She has given hope to special persons in need since the lockdown started, and even advocated for them through other platforms.

Yetunde Morenikeji Raji

Yetunde you would think she has it all going well for her till you hear her story. Her zeal and optimism seems to be her secret weapon. She became an amputee same day she lost her husband in a fatal accident that almost took her life. .It was as if her life has been cut short. She rose from the ashes of the adversity and took responsibility for her life. She survived that dark phase in her life and now using her story to advocate for amputees and touch lives through her organisation YAAR. She has helped raise money for the vulnerable and downtrodden since the beginning of the lockdown.

Patricia Nwanyioma Sparkle

The Nigerian born, American based Nurse and blogger has consistently used her platform to give back to people in need. From giving single mums soft cash to raising funds for families in need. Sparkle as she is fondly called by her friends has given hope to many during the lockdown.

Angela Nwosu

The philanthropist has given hope to many through her Facebook page, she has shown love and compassion to her diligent followers who call themselves “AngieNation” by supporting them with funds and giving them hope.

Adebukola Crowngold

Founder, Givers Arena. In its three years of existence, her organisation has succeeded in putting smiles on the faces of individuals and communities by meeting specific needs ranging from provison of community borehole, payment of childrens school fees and empowering widows with stipends to either start a trade or boost existing ones. She has also been very supportive during the lockdown.

Cynthia Valerian Raphaels

The Customer service personnel, Marriage guardian and Women’s advocate have shown her followers and Facebook users the power of humanity and beauty of benevolence since the lockdown started.

….and of course yours truly Esther Ijewere , I do my bit via our Women of Rubies & Men Who Inspire Facebook and Instagram pages, plus my personal wall but this post isn’t about me.

These women have put smiles on many faces and given hope to the most vulnerable and I celebrate them, you should too.

How are you coping with the #StayHome, I would love to read from you. Let me know in the comment.

Esther Ijewere™©

In Editor's Choice April 4, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

My love for food and Agriculture inspired me to start Teemarkfood – Ibenero Tobiloba

In the past few weeks, we have witnessed a situation that has not only put the world at a standstill but also affected families and businesses. Many can’t afford to put food on the table as a result of the global lockdown to help contain the virus.

Agro Entrepreneur Ibenero Tobiloba Tolase is helping to alleviate the pain of many by providing them with food and giving them hope through her Teemark Food Company; where she produces and processes raw foods such as (Garri Ijebu, Yam flour and plantain flour).

With support from well meaning Nigerians she’s been able to feed over 200 families in light of the Coronavirus pandemic, as they partner with her to package foodstuff under four thousand Naira to feed each family in a bid to give hope, pending when things go back to normal.

The graduate of Pure and Applied chemistry from Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH) was inspired by her love for Agriculture and passion for food which started when She was young. Tobi loved seeing the smiles on people’s faces when they eat good quality food.

Aside from Agricuulture, Tobi is also passionate about issues that affects women and young girls, through her Girlscrib initiative , she helps sensitise women and teenage girls on the importance of menstrual health. This initiative also distributes sanitary pads to secondary school girls

She is the Creative Director of JEMBRIDALS, a bridal outfit. a one stop bridal shop for traditional wedding and asoebi and also volunteers for PROJECT SMILE, an NGO that reaches out to the orphans all over Nigeria.

She shares her inspiring story in this interview.

Growing up

My childhood was fun and I am glad I had a mother is filled with wisdom and taught me all I know today, I am the eldest of two children and was trained well in all area not because I am a girl but because I would be a leader some day. One thing that was constant in our home was food to give to friends and families. My mum always told us never look the other way when people around you have nothing to eat and that lesson is what is guiding me till date.

Inspiration behind Teemarkfoods

Good food! My love for food and Agriculture inspired Teemarkfood. One of the ways I feel fulfilled is seeing people have access to quality food and which has been my mantra since I was a child.

Reception since Inception

It is a learning process, but I am grateful to God for wisdom to discern the pros and cons of the business. People have been very supportive and accepting of my initiative.

Support for Female Agropreneurs

Well, we are not there yet but times are changing we will get there eventually. We are not backing down, we will keep pushing till we are are at the front burner and recognised for our efforts as change agents.

Giving hope to those affected by the lockdown

There was a point in my life when we had nothing to eat as a family, it was a very difficult time and with that understanding, knowing that there are families out there who do not have anything to feed on but might be reluctant to ask from friends and families, the next thing I thought of was reaching out to them first.

Effect of the Lockdown and Coronavirus on Agropreneur

Honestly I would say transportation getting the food from one place to the other so people access to it easily, but we are doing our best to give hope and lighten the burden of people, we are also calling on well meaning Nigerians to help alleviate the pain of these people by partnering with us through her platform to feed more people.

Challenges of being an Agro Entrepreneur

Financial challenges: Agro Entrepreneurs not having Access to loans and enough capital to improve and increase the productivity.

Transportation: Government should help reduce charges and fees paid on farm produce that are transported from farm to urban areas

Education: sensitisation of our local farmers on technology and its advantages on agriculture is also very important because it makes the production faster and delivery to consumers quick.

Other projects and activities

I am working on a project called “Girlscrib” this is an NGO for women and teenage girls, the project will help Educate women on menstrual health and also provide sanitary pads to secondary school girls.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I believe I carry greatness within me and I am on a journey to transfer that greatness into each and everyone I come across by spreading love.

To young women who want to become Agro Entrepreneurs

I would say this first, Trust God to use you as a vessel for greatness, believe strongly in your self and lastly stay focus. When you have these three you become unstoppable.

In self development April 4, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

11 Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

Two days ago a sister shared a very sad story of how her toxic Ex- husband set her up with another man in a bid to break and destroy her. She’d gone all the way into the relationship before she realized it was all game and no love.

A toxic relationship has the ability to surface in any type of relationship such as with a significant other, a child, a parent, a co-worker or even a best friend. For your mental and physical health, it is essential that you get rid of toxic relationship situations in your life as quickly as possible.

It is important to keep your eyes open to red flags as toxic relationships can have serious and severe consequences. Some of such consequences can be to your long-term health.

Once you get rid of toxic relationship circumstances, your life will quickly begin to head in a positive direction, your self-confidence will return, you will begin to succeed at work, your other relationships will return to ones of positivity and you will feel happier each day.

Here are 10 signs that you need to get rid of toxic relationship people in your life:

1.CONTROLLING TENDENCIES

Do you feel as though you cannot express your opinions without this person having a bad emotional reaction? They will attempt to control the way you think, as well as the things you do and the people with whom you spend time. They will also make fun of you to make you feel bad.

Some ways to break free from such individuals is to create a support system, ask for help, establish goals to get rid of toxic relationship circumstances and follow through in the end.

2.YOU FEEL THREATENED

You can feel threatened in a number of ways. You might feel threatened to lose your identity. You might feel threatened by a third party in a jealous manner. Or, you might feel threatened in a more dangerous manner. If you ever question your safety, get out immediately.

You should never be made to feel intimidated or threatened in a physical manner. This is unacceptable, and you should tell someone. Do not hesitate to involve the authorities.

3.SO MUCH DRAMA

Too much drama is not constructive and results in a toxic relationship. Examples of excessive drama include game playing, an open-ended relationship status, wondering eyes, not cleaning up after one’s self, being jealous, constant gossiping, neediness and emotional unavailability.

A little drama can be directly related to passion; however, if the drama never stops, it is likely unhealthy and time to walk away.

4.ISOLATION

If an individual wishes to remove you from all other relationships in your life, this type of isolation is toxic. The person will do everything in their power to remove you from your support system so they can control you even further.

It is important to be mindful of whether or not it is you or your partner trying to isolate you from the people in your life. Some people unknowingly disappear when they start a relationship without influence from their partner, and this is not necessarily toxic.

5.EVERYTHING IS A COMPETITION

A toxic relationship based on competition is often found in work relationships and friendships; however, they can also occur in romantic partnerships and with family members. These people never actually listen to you and they will constantly try to one-up you in every aspect of your life.

6.POWER STRUGGLE

It is possible that you are both contributors to the toxicity of the relationship in some way. This is the result of a power struggle by both parties. When a person feels powerless in a relationship, they will often lash out in a demanding way as a method of overcompensation.

This dynamic can occur in all relationships from a child and a parent to interactions between co-workers. Sometimes, the reaction is based on another person attempting to control the other; whereas, in other circumstances, the lashing out is a self-imposed powerless feeling.

7.YOU ARE EXHAUSTED

An unhealthy relationship can be entirely exhausting. You might feel depleted and emotionally drained from arguing, walking on eggshells or hoping you do not encounter the toxic individual.

These people can be anyone from a co-worker who constantly tries to undermine or demean your accomplishments or an in-law who likes to cause trouble. If you are simply exhausted from speaking or encountering these people, you are likely in a toxic relationship.

8.LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Are you typically a confident individual in most situations, yet with that certain someone you often feel bad about yourself after you spend time together? If so, you need to get rid of toxic relationship people who give you low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem in a relationship can cause you to perceive the relationship differently than its reality. It can cause you to behave differently than normal and even make you paranoid or insecure

9.BELITTLING

Belittling may not seem like a big deal; however, it absolutely is a big deal and should be dealt with as soon as possible. When someone is intentionally, or unintentionally, putting your down, it is not okay.

This type of toxicity is typically regarded as emotional and psychological abuse. Abuse does not have to be physical to cause lasting damage and should never be tolerated.

10.SELF-SABOTAGE

You or the other person in your relationship may be deliberately or subconsciously sabotaging the relationship for a number of reasons. Someone may feel the relationship has run its course. They may feel highly insecure about the relationship. Or, it could be a reaction to past experiences.

11.LACK OF TRUST

Trust is difficult for some people. Whether you have been wronged in relationships in the past or you have a feeling that the person in your current relationship is not trustworthy, you cannot move forward if you do not have trust.

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In self development April 3, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

How to Access Your Personal Power to Create Success

Personal power plays a big part in our ability to be successful and happy. It also helps us get what we want, feel safe, and remain confident that we are playing a part in this world and not that the world is playing us.

People with personal power don’t need to shout about what they want, and they rarely make people feel inadequate or unappreciated. They have a way of being comfortable in their own skin, believing what they believe, and confidently saying their own opinions while being able to respect and honour others without feeling threatened.

This makes them best placed to serve their goals. It also makes them great leaders, great colleagues, and stable friends and loved ones.

There are several things you can do to begin the process of developing your personal power. Try these to get you started.

1.Stop Stressing

Stressing that something is not working the way it has for others just further reduces your power, making you feel more powerless, worthless and not in control. Learn to accept that not everything is in your power. People that get stressed by bad weather, for example, are often good at reducing their own power – they’re so busy concentrating on the grey day that they forget all the things they actually do have control over.

2.Learn to Listen

In a world filled with thoughts and opinions and ideas, it can be hard to distinguish between our own thoughts and someone else’s. Learn to notice where thoughts come from.

3.Practice Confidence

When you learn to listen to yourself and what you feel, you can easily be rocked into dropping your new ideas if you lack confidence. Confidence may very well be the underlying power to all of our happiness and success in life.

When it comes to personal power, when your confidence drops, your power can, too.

Failure, unkind comments, passive aggressive work colleagues, bad days, and lost opportunities should not permanently affect your confidence.

4.Have Fun

If you love dancing, paintball, surfing, or yoga, don’t let it disappear out of your life. Many clients have found positive changes in their professional lives just by reintroducing the things they love. We are quick to drop these things when we are mega busy, but don’t. It can have long term repercussions.

5.Accept Failure

Personal power can be hard to hold onto when you face failure. However, if you ever need a boost, look up all of the amazing inventions, companies, discoveries and opportunities that have come out of failure.Don’t fear failure, embrace it. It is only truly failure if you learn nothing from it.

Personal power is more than being an influencer. It’s about accepting that you have a positive influence on people and accepting your power to do so without abusing that power.

Personal power can be seen in confidence and a level of self acceptance that others are quick to recognize.

When you embrace your personal power, it will likely have an impact on:

Your work

Your personal life

Your goals.

Your friends

Your business colleagues

Your happiness

Your health

When you find your personal power, own it. It helps us all experience a real world.

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In self development March 22, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Ijeoma Thomas-Odia: How to Help your kids boost their immunity

With the deadly Lassa and Coronaviruses currently in the country, there is need to ensure that our children’s immune system are in good shape. For children; their immune systems are just like an antivirus warning message; it’s needs an update every so often, says Ifeyinwa Omesiete, a Pediatric nutrition consultant based in Lagos.

Mostly because children are explorers and are more susceptible to many illnesses as their immune system isn’t strong enough to fight a lot of infections. Between the ages of zero to six years, the average child would have had over 20 different cold/viral infection cases (this is excluding bacterial infections). This number may seem alarming but it’s expected and that is why building their immune system needs to be at the top of every parents to-do list.

According to Omesiete, there are three major but simple ways to boost the immunity of any child. They may seem ordinary but with consistency; they have proven to be very effective.

Water Intake: From the first day of life, every child is exposed to fluids; be it breast milk or formula. The reason is mainly because the body is made up of at least 70 per cent of water, you should also ensure proper circulation of blood and nutrients; the body’s water content needs to be maintained. Between six months to a year, the minimum water intake should be 250-500ml daily. Between one to two years, every child should consume at least 750ml of water. Ages two to four years, at least a liter of water, and from four years upwards, at least two liters of water. Low water intake can decrease oxygen flow throughout the body and it also decreases the effective removal of toxins from the body which overtime can weaken the immune system. One of the easiest ways to get any child to drink water is by setting the example. So, as a parent, drink more water in the presence of your children and keep drinking water accessible and in plain sight.

Spirulina: Spirulina is a natural blue green algae (cyanbacteria) that is an incredible source of absorbable nutrients. When harvested correctly from non-contaminated ponds and bodies of water, it is one of the most potent nutrient sources available. Taking about half a teaspoon spirulina daily is the equivalent of 1 egg or ½ a banana or 300ml of Milk. Spirulina is a complete protein and an excellent source of Vit A, B12, B2, B3, Iron, Zinc and Omega 6 fatty acids. It provides the body with antioxidants, which are key in reducing oxidative stress and inflammation in the body. Simply put, what you cannot get your child to eat in their diet, spirulina will do the trick.

Fruits and vegetables: This is almost cliché, but not to be taken for granted. A lot of health professionals educate parents about the importance of fruits and vegetables in a child’s diet but let’s look at this from a nutritionist’s standpoint. A daily serving of a variety of fruits and vegetables provides fiber for proper digestion of foods, phytonutrients like beta-carotene which turn into Vit A in the body, and Minerals like Iron which increase the absorption of Vit C in the body to fight infections.

A missed serving causes a decline in the nutrients listed above which when they are depleted begin to deplete other nutrients like Zinc, potassium, calcium and so on. That’s why when a child who lacks these nutrients is exposed to a virus or bacteria; quickly gets infected and doesn’t have strong immune cells to fight. For children who do not like vegetables; there can be blended or juiced with fruits. They can also be made into popsicles or even baked. The trick is to get creative with the approach of serving them.

In conclusion, Omesiete said that every child deserves a fighting chance against infections and with these three ways, every parent is sure of kicking their child’s immune system up a notch.

In Interviews&profile March 22, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

I sacrificed medical school to be sex therapist – Deborah Ajayi

Everybody has their childhood fantasies and most often than not, life offers other choices, which often take by hook or by crook. For one of Nigeria’s most popular and prosperous body and sex therapist, Deborah Erioluwapo Ajayi, the Chief Executive Officer of Omoshola’s Place, her passion overtook her fantasy.

Her fantasy was to be a medical doctor but her passion which was fueled by entrepreneurial flame burned through to the surface. So, rather than being a doctor, she’s a sex therapist and an entrepreneur of note. She recounts her story in a recent interview.

“While growing up whenever I was asked what I wanted to be in future, I would always say a medical doctor. But later I got a strong conviction that entrepreneurship is a better path for me. I actually strived to be a doctor and in 2016/2017 I got admitted into Bingham University where I was studying Medical Physiology, but schooling there was quite expensive hence I dropped as the school and its environs couldn’t encourage my career.

“I was paying over a million naira per session. I felt it was too expensive. I had a savings of 700,000 in 2018 and decided to invest it in my business rather than waste my time in school.

“I said to myself my first outlet will be in Maitama, Abuja. I went round and saw a place for 4,500,000 yearly (extreme) but I wanted it. I spoke to the management and pleaded for them to allow me pay monthly. I drove from Abuja to Jos where the landlord was based to explain myself and my vision. He saw me as a kid and encouraged me by accepting my terms (This was the push I needed). After paying 500,000 I had less than 200,000 left and I needed to fit the salon.

“I went to the popular Wuse market in Abuja and took equipment on credit and promised to pay back and due date, I knew I was going beyond my boundaries but this is what I wanted. I was a debtor for months, I sold my first car (Honda accord 2002) to pay salaries and settle debts. The first few months were horrible as my income in a month was 15,000 or less and I needed to pay four staff 30,000 each. I had enough reason to give up, but no, I didn’t,” she said.

That was the birth of Omoshola’s Empire which houses other concerns like HBG Beauty Salon and Cloud 11 Beauty Salon, among others.

The Omoshola’s Place Chief Executive Officer sells aphrodisiacs with a touch of spiritualism. She also owns a farm in Karu area of the Federal Capital Territory where she rears livestock. She owns a body enhancement spa in Maitama area of Abuja as well as a salon and body spa in Dubai known as HBG Beauty Lounge at the Dubai Investment Park. And recently she launched the biggest African salon and spa in Dubai (Jumeirah).

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