Women of Rubies

Author

Esther Ijewere

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FREE was launched virtually in Lagos on Wednesday, 13 May 2020 at 3pm on Zoom.

FREE is a book by Debola Salako-Kupoluyi that exposes sexual molestation in children, its effects and provides a guide to healing through transformational tools.

The book FREE was inspired by God and the essence is to bring change to the next generation by shining a bright light where few others dare to go.

Free reveals how six successful women were sexually abused when they were children. It highlights precautions that could be taken to avoid sexual abuse in children and emphasizes the importance of parenting. The book FREE is real and powerful – it would leave you in awe of the potentials that the human soul has to endure pain and rise to great heights.

FREE is for people of all ages and more specifically written for children, teenagers, their parents/guardian and anyone at all who has suffered the ugly acts of sexual molestation and its effects.

The author is in partnership with Cece Yara Foundation and Mantle of Mordecai (MOM) foundation to provide professional counselling, treatment and ongoing support to children who are victims of sexual abuse helped through FREE.

As part of the commitment to eradicating childhood sexual molestation, 25% of proceeds from the sale of FREE would go to Cece Yara foundation. Its mission is to prevent child sexual molestation through community empowerment and support. Also, 25% to Mantle of Mordecai (MOM) foundation. Its mission is to enhance the value of life of children by ensuring that they get quality education. The proceeds will be used to sponsor the education of a child who is a victim of sexual abuse.

The e-copy of the book is now available online on Amazon Kindle and Okadabooks. Hardcopy preorder is also ongoing, and it will be ready for distribution within three weeks.

See link to order e-copy or preorder hardcopy https://linktr.ee/Freebydsk

Follow us on social media via the handle below for more information

Twitter, Facebook and Instagram: free_by_dsk

Fashion entrepreneur, Aderonke Enoabasi had a question and answer session on her Instagram page and while answering her followers questions, she urged business owners to share the truth about how they started their business and not mislead the younger ones.

She wrote,

“At age 19, I started selling Okrika bra, I failed. At 20, a lot of people took advantage of my naïveness and the hunger to just wanna work. At 21, I started selling bags and accessories. I made so much gain.

At 22, Mummy gave me money to learn make-up at House of Tara. I did makeup business till 26. At 26, I started fashion business till now, I’m 27 going on 28. Business is fine, I’m learning. I own RHONKEFELLA, I’m still learning but I feel fulfilled.

I always preach something, no one owes you anything. After secondary school, I didn’t get admission into the university on time so I’ve always had the urge to work. At age 19, after my Okrika bra business failed, I thought the business wasn’t for me so I dumped the idea and I started to look for office work.

So many people took advantage of me. Some along the line would tell me, shebi you know you’re beautiful. You know the rest of the story! Did I fall for those story line? Once or twice I did and once they had me, they dumped me.

I have met people who will never help or invest in you. I have also met people who will rather give you fish than teach you how to fish. So, if you find someone who helps you or finances your idea, please don’t lie or take the glory.

If you are handed money and you don’t work hard or smart with that money no matter how little or big, it will not amount to anything.

We all need HELP. As much as we strive to be independent, it’s okay to ask for help. If you can do it yourself go ahead but if you get help, be proud to say you did! It takes nothing from your success story, enough with God help me tales.

God won’t come down, he will send people to help you. Let us be more truthful to the younger ones. It’s okay if you don’t feel the need to speak about your journey but if you must, please speak your truth, don’t “LIE”.

May God bless everyone who has invested in my IDEAS! They made RHONKEFELLA a reality. God bless the “BOYFRIEND “ but most importantly, God bless IYA RONKE! My mum has come through a zillion times…”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BlvVvu0nRn1/?taken-by=therealrhonkefella

Source: Woman.ng

Fagbenro Christiana Boluwatife, best known as Tife Chris, is a young creative studying Geology at Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago Iwoye, Ogun State. She hails from Ado Odo-Ota, Ogun State. Tife started making art at a very early age of 5, but she developed deep interest at the age of 18 when she learnt how to draw using pencils and started using oil colours. Her passion for Art went deeper when she discovered the beauty in it and not just beauty, but also a way of expressing oneself. She’s a Christian, a lover of science and very active in sports in the likes of swimming and basketball. She shares her Art to the world through stage painting, writing, music and poetry, she is also an active volunteer and a member of few NGOs that aim at making positive impact to the lives of others. Tife reminds me of my years as an undergraduate, her passion and tenacity is unwithered and it’s very reflective in her work and ambience. She shares her journey with me in this exclusive Interview.
 

Childhood Preparation
MY childhood didn’t prepare me for what I do now, although it played a huge role due to the fact that I was very creative at that stage. I started painting and using watercolours at a very young age but I never for once saw myself doing what I’m doing today. I did those things for fun and never expected them to be a huge part of my life. Growing up was quite interesting and, as a normal child, I have both good and bad memories. I grew up in a strict and competitive environment where everyone had to meet certain standards. There was no one to share my thoughts or emotions with, so I learned to develop myself even when there was no one to talk to. This has made me active in few NGOs so I could give to the society what I couldn’t get. It wasn’t always easy and I got to learn from challenges.

My passion for Art
I wasn’t directly inspired to go into Art, truly, science has been my passion since childhood. I’ve always wanted to be a medical doctor, to help people, that’s where my passion came from. I loved to see people heal, get better. And I never for once thought of going into Art, so nothing could inspire me to venture down the world of Art.

I can only say God made a turn of events to make me see what I was completely oblivious to. At a stage in my life where science wasn’t responding, I was forced to look at the bright side of Art. And since then I’ve been falling deeper in love with Art, all dimensions of it.

My Artistic Journey
I thank God for the journey so far, it’s been wonderful, even though there have been lots of challenges especially due to the fact that I studies a different field from Art, finances as a student and the fact that I ultimately have to balance up my academics first before anything else. I’ve had experiences with lessons I know would be very useful even after I graduate.

Balancing School with Art
That dexterity has been a natural part of me, human beings are very dynamic and when we put our minds to something, no matter how diverse or colossal it may be, you’ll be done with it before you know it. Timing is also very important even though I find it hard sometimes to meet up within the appropriate time, going for lectures at the right time, going to church, creating time for art and writing, meeting up with basketball practice and guitar lessons, time to study, taking few hours to swim and sacrificing time for rehearsals. As long as I have a mental timetable and I try not to overwork myself while creating a compulsory time to rest, by God’s grace I’m able to do just fine.

My Aspiration
The first is to be a successful Artist. Let the world realise your talents can make you stand out. I would also love to travel the world and explore all forms of Art. I really have a lot to learn, I go on the internet and discover lots of amazing works from different artists. I would love to learn as many forms of Art as I can.

I also hope to own an Art firm with a gallery where everyone can be who they want to be and create ideas, use the beauty of Art to make people’s lives better, to make them heal.

Lastly, I aspire to be a role model as an artist, someone who inspires, an artist people can look up to. I want to be happy both in the outside world and with my family and home.

Three women who inspire me to be better and why
Ms. Esther Ijewere, convener of Women of Rubies, Ruby Girls, Rubies Ink and Walk Against Rape and Benita Nnarchortam, personal photographer /SA to the former governor of Ogun state and co-founder, Kuta Nigeria. And my mother, CEO k2cut fashion. These women have inspired me to be better no matter where you’re starting from, they’ve taught me to sacrifice and I’ve felt the love of a woman from them especially on the Ruby Girls page. I love people who break limits and create new ideas and Benita has really inspired me in that area.

Challenges of being an Artist
Time is my major challenge, meeting up with schedule is very hard and sometimes I have to cancel some events and I’m grateful to HRM, my friends because they help me when they can and cheer me to move on when I seem tired. Managing my craft and handling school has indeed been stressful and sometimes I realise I have just little time to myself.

Funding and equipment has also been a challenge, what’s the use of time without money? Getting school materials and Art materials too. Thank God for my parents, my sister and close friends and the fact that I get commissioned works to support myself with. Also, the environment where I’m based as a student doesn’t give enough exposure and insight into Art, they rarely appreciate Art and sometimes volunteering would be depreciated.

Being a Woman of Rubies
I believe I’m special in my own way. Everyone has that hidden talent in them that makes them stand out and unfolding these talents has made me realise I’m a Woman of Ruby. I can achieve whatever I put my mind to.

Dear Young Women,
It’s never too early to start trying, now is best. Don’t let your present state limit you. The only thing you should be afraid of is not to have a dream. If you have a vision, pursue it!

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Positive thinking is a mental and emotional state of mind that focuses on the good and expects positive outcomes. Staying positive can be tough. Positivity can start to wain when you are bombarded with a succession of negativity, failures, disappointment and heartbreak.
Every challenge you face withdraws from your energy, resilience and a little bit of your faith. Once your positive energy is depleted, pessimism slowly begins to creep in and take hold.

If you want to stay positive when facing challenges and negative situations, here are 10 things you can do to help revive your positive energy:

1. Perform random acts of kindness

Finding ways to put a smile on the face of others affects you just as much as it affects them. It takes the focus off of you and your problems and allows you to be a positive force in the lives of others. Doing good for others makes you feel good. It lifts your mood, improves self esteem and self-worth and it serves as a small distraction from your current challenges.

2. Take a mental break
Exhaustion is the silent killer of positivity.Learn to take breaks when things get overwhelming. Do something that gives your mind a break from whatever challenge you are facing–and that could just mean taking a nap.

2. Develop an attitude of gratitude
Noticing and appreciating the positives in our lives is a great way to lift your spirits and provide yourself a mental boost. Start to practice gratitude by being thankful for the simple things in life.

4. Laugh
Laughter truly is the best medicine for most of what ails us. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. Find a way to laugh–often. Watch a comedy, spend the evening with your crazy friend who knows how to keep you in stitches.

4. Hang around with positive people
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” The bottom line here is our behavior and thought patterns mirror those we hang around. Choose carefully who you allow into your circle.

5. Look for the silver lining immediately
Trying to force optimistic thinking amidst emotional turmoil or a bit shocked usually don’t work that well.
Training yourself to look for the lesson and find the bright spot not only eases the burden a little, it also slowly begins to transform your entire thought process.

8. Breathe deeply
Breathing exercises help expel toxic air from your body and refills your body and more importantly–your brain with fresh air. It clears your mind and allows you to regain mental clarity. One moment of clarity at the right time can change everything.

9. Don’t dwell on negativity
Avoid dwelling on downers. Downers bring you down!
Focusing on negatives isn’t just unpleasant, it also makes you less effective in tackling other tasks you face. Negativity produces more negativity.
Bad things happen–try not to replay them over and over and fixate on un-pleasantries. Play positive scenes in your mind instead.

10. Engage in positive self-talk
Talk to yourself. Tell yourself things are going to turnaround and will work out in the end.
Say it out loud. Speaking what you believe out loud reinforces and strengthens the message. You say it and hear it simultaneously.

Esther is an activist, Writer, Columnist, Author and editor-in-chief & founder -Women of Rubies. She is passionate about issues that affect women and children. 

Facebook: Esther Ijewere

Twitter & IG : @Estherijewere

LinkedIn: Esther Ijewere

Email: admin@womenofrubies.com

Bolanle Adewole is the founder and executive director of TLP Centre, the first full day school for children with autism and other related developmental disorders. A certified autism specialist, she is also the director of The Learning Place Montessori School in Lagos. Trained in London, Canada and the USA, she certified as an Autism Specialist with International Board of Credentialing and Continuing Education Standards (IBCCES) in 2018. Passionate about autism awareness advocacy and believes no child should be left behind, she continuously engages in the empowerment and fluent integration of the differently able into mainstream schools. She engages in various charitable outreach activities with the Lagos State Government as well as corporate organisations. To date, she has directly or partly influenced the education of over 500 indigent children in Nigeria. A renowned speaker and teacher, Bolanle belongs to several professional bodies and serves on the board of several companies. In this interview, she talks about how the education of students with autism and other developmental challenges have been affected by Covid-19 and how she is tackling this as well as integrating special needs children into mainstream education amongst other issues.

COVID-19 and the subsequent stay-home order have undoubtedly disrupted the educational calendar somewhat. How are you working around this issue?
The stay-at-home order came with the closure of schools and saw us putting in place measures to ensure that our students’ learning remains optimally maintained. A saving grace for us was the fact that we had always operated online on a large scale so migrating our curriculum online was prompt. We were live in 48 hours and classes actively commenced until the Easter break. These, as well as parents communication, have continued to date. We miss the physical presence of our students but all main school activities have continued online.

Students are now being home-schooled as best as possible. Is this a feasible solution or would it be better to halt the school calendar till the lockdown order is lifted?
Education is a critical part of child development. It drives factors responsible for the advancement of their minds, acquisition of social skills, facilitation of learning and much more. Every child benefits from consistent learning opportunities, a halt in these or in the school calendar is likely to create learning gaps, accompanied by adverse long-term shortfalls.

LASG is employing radio/TV to educate students as they sit at home, can students really learn like this especially students that struggle academically?
First, I would like to applaud the Lagos State Government for this initiative. It would go a long way towards ensuring that children continue to learn regardless of their location. It is important to note that every child is different and each has a unique learning style. The remote or virtual learning may not benefit all but it goes without saying that some will definitely acquire knowledge and skills from the remote classroom. If the lessons are practical, engaging and interactive, they should captivate the interest of more students than less, including the different learners who may display academic challenges. The worst one can do is not to try at all.

For children that come from less-privileged backgrounds and have no access to TV, Internet, laptops or educational tabs, how would virtual learning work for this category of students?
The teaching of this category of children may not necessarily be through the use of inaccessible devices but through a practical sustainable approach. This is an area where the government and corporate organizations need to intervene. An organised outreach in the form of creating alternative learning modes, including the “United Nations School in a box” model; the creation of a structured teaching curriculum, a community empowerment based program; donation of practical inexpensive devices and training of parents or relatives who though may be indigent, are willing and able to learn, would go a long way.

You work extensively with autistic children and children with related developmental disorders, would you say this disruption has affected them more?
Children with autism thrive on routine and predictability. One of the key ways of managing their behaviour is to have a predictable schedule, which directs their day-to-day activities. The first disruption to them during this crisis was the abrupt closure of schools without adequate notice or preparation. It became compounded with the uncertainty, absence of consistent therapy and withdrawal of physical activities. It hit them hard and evoked some new undesired problem behaviour for parents and caregivers at home.

How are you still managing to teach the children seeing as face-to-face method is not feasible at this time?
A face-to-face meeting is feasible in the form of synchronous virtual meetings. This has been a lifesaver and has worked for a good number of our students. They’re excited to see their teachers and peers and have engaged pretty well on this platform since we launched online schooling. Like physical school, there is an attendance timetable, lesson resources and concept presentations, all done online. This has helped keep and retain some semblance of normalcy. We have spent time training parents also and most have adapted and are coping.

Has the pandemic and the resulting problems it has created made your job harder in any way?
The COVID-19 is unparalleled and has hit the entire globe in an unprecedented way. Life would never go back to the same again. It has brought about a lot of changes, which have affected our operations, our lifestyle and service delivery. The financial impact on our organisation is immense. We have had to get creative and think out of the box to keep our operations together. A lot of strategic adjustments have been put in place to cut excesses and maintain expediture. It gets deeply worrisome when it threatens to affect staff income. We hope it all ends soon.

Tell us about some of the work you have done in integrating differently abled children into mainstream schooling?
As a strong believer in equal opportunity for all, I advocate for inclusion for every child. This starts with conducting probes and identifying the existing strengths and ability that lie within each child. This helps us give the required intervention, develop a transition plan and place him into the right educational setting. We have helped prepare several children for various mainstream schools using this technique and most have successfully transitioned.

Tell us about your educational programs for at-risk children, what does it entail?
Differentiated teaching is used for children with at-risk behaviour. It entails closely observing and paying attention to the traits and characteristics of the children. The “at-risk” child would always stand out. The first thing would be to determine the function of the at-risk behaviour and set out to eliminate the stimulus that reinforces it. A lot of factors are considered and an individualised program addressing the function of the behaviour is designed. This becomes the bedrock for the educational program that is subsequently used.

What has this ongoing experience taught you, what would you be taking from it when this is finally over?
As unwanted as the pandemic is, it has come with different facets. It has exposed us to many new skills, brought us closer together and enabled us look inwards. We have critically analysed our offerings and services with a view to coming back stronger. On a personal note, it has helped me appreciate life better and brought me closer to God, friends and family. When this over, I know I will be stronger for it.

What last words do you want to leave with women reading this that have been inspired by you?
Stay true to yourself. Be not moved by fear and negativity. Get innovative and choose to be positive in these times.

Source: Guardian

Breaking the glass ceiling” is one the best things that came out of Hillary Clinton contesting for Presidency. A tag line she often used during her campaign, to encourage women to take charge and squash their limiting beliefs. Kolajo Blessing is one of such women! She has not just broken through the glass ceiling, but also encouraging other women in her generation to do so.She is the first Female President of OOU Literary and Debating Society and also the first Female President of VeeCee Success Stories, a position she holds in a bid to share stories of young women and men alike, as an undergraduate of Olabisi Onabanjo University. Blessing is also an excellent writer and a great spoken word artist. She recently wowed people with her craft on Instagram when she did spontaneous spoken word session about Slay queens. The double President shares her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere in this interview.

Childhood Preparation
My childhood days prepared me a lot for what I do today, and the things I will still do in the future. I remember growing up was not so fun for me because I took interest in what my age groups do not enjoy doing which was reading literary texts, so I spend more of my time with imaginary characters in novels. My daddy would trek down to the bookshop to buy storybooks for me every weekend, which I would finish reading before he comes back from work, and that was at the age of seven. I enjoyed watching the news, too, which has served as a platform for my exposure because I grew up in a rural environment.

Being the President of OOU Literary and Debating Society and first female president of Veecee Success Stories
If I’m asked I will say one of the most difficult things to do is to lead people. It was difficult waking up to the reality that there are a set of people looking up to me in many aspects, having to think that any bad decision I make affects many others. Having to do all this, along with achieving my academic vision and personal development, gave me a tough time. However, the experience I had has shaped and moulded me into a better person; leadership isn’t easy but it’s worth it.


Being a student and managing my role
Time management and setting priorities. I denied myself of a whole lot of things; I scrapped my fun time totally and fused it into my creativity. I do not attend impromptu programmes, neither do I go for unnecessary visits. My schedule was church, lectures, library, official meetings and any events where I have been called to perform. It wasn’t easy for me because I am a youth and I have needs, but some prices are worth paying to achieve the goal of self-development, which I did because I had the best results of my life during that period.
Using my position to squash stereotype of women holding powerful positions in the society

I set an example by leading the associations even better than my predecessors who were males, because people were wondering that this small girl cannot do it. Also, I remember that each time an assignment was meant to be given or an opportunity arises in any of the associations that I led, what I did was to conduct a capacity test to pick someone suitable for the job. In most cases, the female members perform better and I do not hesitate to pick them since they have proven themselves worthy regardless of the gender reservations that has been for that position, because I believe women are tools for greatness and not humans that should always occupy the backseat. Also, I write to influence the mind of the society positively about the issue of gender discrimination.

Being a Poet
What inspired my poetry is just the need to express myself in a way that is unique and beautiful. However, when I noticed that I am making positive impact, I started doing more and that is what has brought me to limelight and accord this kind of honour to me. Be on the lookout for many things, by June of this year I will be launching three poetry collections for junior secondary school one, two and three titled “Raindrops” and many other great things shall follow.

Three women who inspire you to be better and why
The number one woman that inspired me a lot when I was a child was Professor Dora Akunyili, she was an intelligent woman, I do watch her speak on NTA when I was young. Also, the words of Michelle Obama and Chimamanda Adichie are energy giving shots to my soul.

Challenges of being an undergraduate joggling so many things at once
Managing people especially when they are older than me was the first challenge, getting people of like minds to work with was my second challenge. Lastly, having to cope with challenges of being a teenager/youth, peer pressures and the likes was so difficult.

Being a Woman of Rubies
I am a Woman of Rubies because I am productive, and I have something valuable to offer my generation and beyond. I am beautiful and strong regardless of the circumstances around me.

To young women who are afraid to live their dreams
Dear young girls, the best motivation you can ever have in life is having a clear vision that will always serve as a drive to your success. Never be afraid to accept challenges, never be afraid to bring those dreams into reality, for only the brave can rule this world and do not neglect the place of God, for his grace will always be sufficient for you.

Values OOU has instilled in me as an undergraduate
The first value is perseverance, the harsh condition of the school and its administrative system has taught me to persevere. I can say OOU, through the people that I have met, gave me the best gift I have now which is poetry.

Chioma Ikokwu is a co-partner at The Good Hair Limited, an international premium hair extension brand with a clientele base that cuts across the globe, including the US, Russia, Sweden, Jamaica and the Middle East. She is also head honcho at Brass & Copper Lifestyle and Next by Good Hair. Popularly known as ‘Chioma Good Hair’, the tenacious serial entrepreneur has a first degree in Law from the University of Birmingham and a Masters in International and Environmental Law & International Commercial Arbitration from the University of London, UK, where she bagged a Distinction in both, and a 2.1 from the Nigerian Law School. Ikokwu’s passion for assisting female-owned start-ups with capital has led her to collaborating with The Women International (TWI) on the platform of her monthly ‘Fund My Start-up’ initiative. She speaks with The Guardian Woman on her vision to ensure that more female owned businesses get the assistance they need to thrive. Excepts!

What led you to fund start up businesses?
I started my company at the tender age of 18 and was lucky enough to have received startup capital from family (although not a lot) – this initial investment led to the empire that is being built today. On the other hand, I also mentor a lot of young women with bright ideas and have found their most pressing issue to be the lack of startup capital. In my bid to assist, I did some compound research and concluded that Nigeria is a really tough environment for budding entrepreneurs and doesn’t do enough to encourage its citizens. There is a huge lack in financial lending institutions, the bank interest rates are rather punitive and the infrastructural climate isn’t encouraging nor conducive. I have seen too many bright ideas waste away and so decided to do something about it in the little way I can. One morning, I spoke to a few friends and my business partners ( GoodHairLtd, Brass & Copper, TWI ) about it, they all bought into and encouraged the idea and that’s how the Fund my Startup Program was birthed.

Any specific reasons for females as your choice?
First of all I’m a woman so naturally I’m more biased towards women – That was a joke. But really, I’m very much about female empowerment. I’ve always supported and encouraged female enterprise and most of my mentees are female so I’m much more familiar with their struggles. I also believe that women have it a lot harder when it comes to raising capital due to the usual stereotypes and expectations of women. Some men also try to exploit their situation and thus we felt the urge to take on women first at least. In addition, one of my partners on this project (The Women International) is an organisation that assists in the personal development of women so funding female businesses was in line with their objectives.

What do you look out for when you choose winners monthly?
I usually narrow it down to value adding businesses. The ones that have thought and acted outside the box. Innovative yet realistic or necessary solutions to society’s problems. Although ultimately the sponsors make the final selections because I believe they should have the right to decide what businesses they want to impact financially.

How has running your personal business influenced your decision to fund other startups?
It has been the backbone of my decision because I can tell you categorically that if we had access to reasonable funding earlier on, we would’ve been a lot further than we are now. It is therefore imperative that we give the up and coming entrepreneurs the opportunity to flourish because who knows, we could be giving life to future multi million dollar / game changing businesses.

Do you consider funding key to the life of any business?
I think that funding is a necessary evil depending on the sort of business one decides to embark on. Some service based businesses might not require startup capital as it may depend solely on the person’s skill set. However most product based businesses will require some sort of capital to start no matter how little and if one doesn’t have the money or access to it, what happens to that idea?

What business nugget would you give to a startup?
I would advice any startup business to start small and grow organically. Most people these days want to fly before they can crawl and unfortunately, exposure to Social Media has led to a whopped sense of reality where people see a finished product or a 10-year journey and measure themselves against that business’ success and that isn’t a fair judgement on their own progress. It’s important to know that most successful businesses started from ground up and if you’re not ready to put in the time and work then greatness will remain distant. There’s something called the 10,000 hour rule which simply states that if you aren’t ready to put in at least 10,000 hours of your time into a particular vocation – you won’t be considered a master of it. I believe this is a metaphor for the need for patience and consistency in relation to success.
So yes – baby steps – reinvest some of your profit back into the business, grow your capital and watch that business bloom.

How can young business owners sit at the same table as you?
By staying focused, diligent and consistent. Don’t jump from business to business without giving any the appropriate time, energy and effort it deserves to reach its potential. Also keep your eyes on the prize and don’t get distracted by “competition” or nay sayers. There’s plenty of room for us all to win and if you’re focused, assiduous and resilient in your endeavors you too will sit and maybe one day head the table.

What lessons has running a business in Nigeria and as a female taught you?
Resilience. I’ve always been a strong woman but running a business in Nigeria has toughened me up to the point that I’m officially made of Stone. But then, I’m so much stronger than my experiences. Every single day presents a different and more difficult challenge which you must rise above and as a woman it’s even tougher because you have so much more to prove – from people doubting your capabilities to your integrity and so on. It’s been tough but I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. I always say that if you can succeed in Nigeria, you can succeed anywhere else in the world.

As a lawyer and entrepreneur how do you marry both caps and still be at your best?
It’s certainly hard but thankfully I’ve been able to make it work. I think balance is key. Dedicating a reasonable amount of time to the things that are paramount to you. I mean I’m able to draw up Legal Contracts, train my employees, run GoodHair, Brass & Copper, the Good Hair Space and still glam up all in the same day so I like to think I’ve mastered the art of Balance or should I say multi tasking. I’ve also been blessed with amazing business partners and that has definitely made the ride worthwhile.

What advice do you have for young women struggling to find their voice and chase their passion?
I would advice every young woman to continue pushing harder – the end is closer than you think. We have and will continue to pave the way for you all so your ride hopefully will be easier. Do not attempt to give up, the sky is your starting point and we need you so keep going.

When you are not working, what will Chioma be doing?
Chioma will be eating, sleeping and bonding with family. I love to travel too and I’m getting into the habit of reading and cooking – my new found talent.

What is your philosophy of life?
Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well. This is the motto that I live by daily.

Source:Guardian

It’s important to point out that not all ‘bad’ feelings are bad. Sometimes, being angry, sad, unhappy, or stressed is a healthy and natural reaction; you should not go out of your way to suppress, ignore or bottle up your feelings. But if you experience these emotions on a frequent basis they can become chronic and even addictive. That is when healthy negativity turns into toxic negativity.

Here are four ways to deal with negativity at your workplace;

1. Stop Blaming and Start Learning

Next time something goes wrong, don’t point the finger of blame. You’ve probably heard the saying that whenever you point a finger at somebody, there are three fingers pointing back at you. Instead of blaming, first take a look at what you could have done differently to react to – or entirely avoid – the problem you’ve experienced. In most cases you will find there is always something you can do differently or better next time. Learn from your mistakes, adapt, and grow!

2. Stop Complaining and Take Ownership

Instead of complaining about a problem, do something about it. Does the guy in the next office constantly interrupt you? Are you not getting the recognition you deserve at work? Don’t complain to your friends or co-workers. If it bothers you enough to complain about it on a daily basis, then take action and make changes. Ask the guy to stop interrupting you or send you an email instead. Talk to your boss about a raise or a change of duties. Just do something. And if nothing works and you are still unhappy… maybe you have a much bigger decision to make.

Sometimes there is a fine line between complaining and simply communicating about a problem. A good general rule to go by is if you tell somebody about a problem more than once, you are complaining. Doing it daily will make it a chronic activity that is very poisonous to you and others around you.

3. Practice Random Acts of Kindness

One of the most effective negativity antidotes is to do kind things for others and feel the positive energy that comes with that. Next time you see a mom struggling with her baby trying to open a door, run over and open it for her. Help somebody carry something up the stairs. Pay for somebody’s parking meter or their lunch in the drive-thru. Leave a $20 bill in the bible in the hotel room. All of these simple little things can add up to you feeling really good about what you did. That positive energy can cut through the foulest of moods.

4. Build Positivity into your Organizational Culture

Make a positive, helpful and healthy attitude part of the mission, vision and values of your company. Hire people who light up the room when they walk in and bend over backwards to help others around them. Work with clients who love to do business and who are passionate about what they do. Work with vendors who care about their work as much as you care about yours. Make ethics a key ingredient of your cultural formula and enforce a strict moral code. Help others when in need and celebrate your victories loudly!

Negativity is weaker than you think

When you’re in a bad mood, it may seem that the dark cloud will never go away. But you’d be surprised how easily you can change your mind and mood if you put your heart into it. Try following a few of these tips (and share them with others!) over the next few weeks and see if the overall spirit and attitude of your workplace improves.

 

credit: www.nine10.ca

Chances are you have faulty beliefs about money, which keep you from coming into it. Here are 5 faulty beliefs you might have and what to do about it.

The first thing to get straight is this: Money serves you. You are it’s master and it is your faithful servant. Never get this the other way around. Money serves two purposes: It allows us to live comfortably. It is also a vehicle that lets us do good in this world. Let money serve you.

  1. Money Isn’t Everything

Some people believe that money can’t buy happiness. They pretty much choose poverty over prosperity, thinking that happiness comes with scarcity. Yet, part of having an abundance mindset means the best of both worlds. After all, money is just an indicator of success. Poor and unsuccessful people have made it a habit to avoid doing things that improve their skills and this guarantees failure.

On the other hand, successful people have a habit of doing things that help them progressively realize their goals and dreams. While you may want to remain static, the truth is you either create or disintegrate.

2. You Lack Gratitude for the Money You Do Have

Just as we don’t know how to receive, when we do receive, we don’t know how to express gratitude. Start off simple and express gratitude, when you find a dime on your garage floor or a dollar bill in your laundry.

Gratitude is a re-framing of our minds, which opens us to receiving and expands our awareness to possibilities. Possibilities increase our chances of success.

3. You Don’t Know How to Receive

How many of us know how to ask for money or negotiate salaries? How many of us know our true worth in the value we can provide? I sure didn’t. I had helped my friend remove malware from her computer. It took me less than an hour, and she wanted to pay me for my time. Yet, because I didn’t know how to ask for money or the worth of the knowledge I possess, I stupidly refused the money. Luckily for me, my friend insisted. More importantly, she helped me realize that my knowledge and experience are not just for my employer. I can also help other people, and I should be bold enough to ask for money. After all, while it may have taken less than an hour to remove that malware, it’s taken me twenty years of constant study in front of the computer to build up that knowledge base and expertise.

READ ALSO : MY FIBROID STORY OF BLOOD, PAIN AND BROKENESS

4. You Have a Poor Self-Image

You can only grow as far as your self-image will allow. If you ever want to make six-figures at your next job, then you have to first believe you can. Your bad self image makes you believe that you are undeserving and a fraud. Mainly, it’s been poisoned by other people’s beliefs.

Once you believe you bring a unique value to this world that you alone can provide, you become aware that you deserve an abundance of happiness, health, and wealth. This accomplishment is something greater yet as it is an expansion of your awareness and true self-growth. Only when you are able to see yourself worthy and deserving of a six-figure salary, will your future employer see it too.

5. It Starts With You

One of the common threads running through the 7 false beliefs has to do with blame and your willingness to take responsibility for your current results. Unsuccessful people blame their circumstances or other people. On the contrary, successful people accept their circumstances and take the initiative to improve what they can. Even if the problems seem insurmountable, they start acting from where they can.

To bring more money and success into your life, first make a decision to throw out these faulty beliefs. Be willing to accept new beliefs that are conducive to your goals. When we start educating ourselves, we also start expanding our awareness to what’s possible.

In the end, the decision to come into an abundance of wealth and success has more to do with setting goals and growing, than it is about the money. As you embark on this journey, kindly remind yourself from time to time that goals aren’t about getting. They are about growing.

 

Living life is a constant work in progress for each person, but that doesn’t mean that you should get so caught up that you neglect showing yourself love. Break down the walls preventing you from self-love, and enrich your life. Here are 6 ways I have learnt to show myself love, you should try it too.
1. Tell Yourself What You Love About Yourself
Many times, we get caught up in everything around us that we forget to remind ourselves just how awesome we are. Our own disappointment, acceptance, patience, and love that we have for ourselves will always reflect what we show others.
2. Accept Imperfection
One of the most worthwhile things that we can do for ourselves is to give up on being perfect, and start the journey to become our true selves. The best part of that journey is to return to feeling peace within ourselves. This peace comes from training your mind to process life as it actually is, rather than what you think it should be.
3. Know That the Approval of Others Doesn’t Matter
Oftentimes people greatly value having the approval of others, even when it isn’t clear exactly what would gain their approval.You should instead focus on doing what is right for your own self, disregarding what others will think. You do not need anyone’s permission to be happy.
4. Bring Distance Between Yourself and Those Who Bring You Down
Worry less about the people in your life that are not worrying about you. You should surround yourself with those who inspire you, respect you, love you, and support you.
5. Make the Changes You Know Are Necessary
When you know that you want to see changes in your life, you will need to do things that you’ve never done before. Aim to stay away from the things that tear you down, and gravitate toward the things, activities and thoughts that fulfill you in the way that you want.
6. Let Go of Your Past Self
A part of life is that good people like you will sometimes make bad choices. Sure, past mistakes make up who you are today, but they do not define you. It is never too late to move on from them – dwelling will only lead to hurt.

“Esther is an activist, Writer, Columnist, Author and editor-in-chief & founder -Women of Rubies. She is passionate about issues that affect women and children. 

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