Esther Ijewere

In Interviews&profile June 9, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

This Chicago Teen Just Earned Her Master’s Degree At Just 14-Years-Old

A 14-year-old Chicago teen is celebrating a huge win, graduating with her master’s degree before most of her peers have graduated from high school.

According to Rolling Out, Dorothy Jean Tillman has been exceeding expectations her entire life. At just 8 months old she began talking, by four she was completing math problems and by nine she was starting high school. Three years later at the age of 12, she earned her bachelor’s degree in humanities from Excelsior College.

In self development June 9, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Emeka Nobis: Dear Men,Let’s Talk About Rape

Rape on my mind!

I slept with thoughts of the act of rape on my mind and woke this morning with the thoughts too.
I’ve had interactions with ladies who have been raped, but this week I’ve had to interact with three that are dear to my heart.

In dealing with them, because of my training now and my perceptible powers, I sensed clouds around them. You know how you sense something is amiss, but somehow you can’t place a finger on it.
How did I sense?

I have come to know when a hug is given halfheartedly, a hurried act to extend a warm hand, but just short enough to allow for that detachment within that creates a shell of retreat.

When I was able to ‘pierce’ through the wall to get them to a place of divulgence, my heart was torn.
I’ll spare you the details. Personally, I don’t understand (perhaps, never will) how a man finds pleasure in forceful, unconsenting sex. It’s because for me, I love to fuse with my woman during sex. It’s not just sex, it’s the motions, the art and science of the rhythms called lovemaking.

While I may not exhaustively list all the reasons men rape women – ego massage, peer pressure, rejection and many others – this is a call to my dear men (and sons in the making) concerning our women.
Beyond the physical, rape does a lot of damage to the emotional stability of a woman. It leaves a gulf too difficult to cover in many years. The spillover of some of these effects are seen in marriage.
A lady recovering from effects of rape may shrink back in embarrassment when you touch her hand. She may reject all your well-intentioned requests to take her to lunch. She may not consider leaders in whatever capacity as worthy of being listened to.

There are so many. The end result can be cracked marriages when the spouse can’t just understand the frigidity during sex or withdrawal from the public or inability to deeply communicate.
My dear men, we have work on our hands to do.

It scares me when I walk the streets and see young boys and men who are derelicts, desiring love and care, but left to fend for themselves though ferocious means at the car parks and dark street corners.
Such men may never consider the dignity of a woman worth preserving or elevating. It’s truly worrisome. I wish I can have all the money in the world to remove them from the streets, reform their minds and instil progressive codes into their subconscious.

My dear men, I say it again : We have work!
Yes, a lot has been said about protecting the women. If you truly dissect it, the women live all their lives with this fear of men and still end up marrying men. It’s a dangerous thing to merge untrained men with trained women within the walls of marriage.

When my friend, Queenette Itsemhe Enilama, who is working so hard to raise legendary men of honour, told me the depth of the depravity of this dimension, I shivered. She’s someone whose heart yearns for raising gallant men.

It’s a danger because the male species aren’t being looked at because all the tablets of precautions and advice are thrown at women to gobble up. We end up raising clueless men.
Dear men, we have work!

Let’s start from our families. It starts with me teaching my son Best not how to be a man in masculine terms, but about the dignity of humanity and the respect for all – male and female alike.

It starts with our dismantling the patriarchal system that tends to mash women underneath and quash their voices in the comity of local communities.

It starts with us expunging religious dogmas and teachings that alienate women from pulpits and keep them in perpetual servitude to the whims and caprices of “ordained men.”

It starts by destroying the clamour for silence when rape is reported. For it’s by maintaining silence that we give power to the offenders, quash the honour of the victims, and crown rape with adorable vestments.

Can we? Yes, we can.

You can start by doing so today after reading this post!

Start by knowing that humanity is in all of us and we are bound by one thing – the red blood that flows in our veins irrespective of colour, creed, religion and political affiliations.

Start by letting a friend read this and by tagging your friends so that together we can create a narrative that can help humanity.

I love you!
Curled from his Facebook page.

***Emeka is also an Ambassador of Walk Against Rape Nigeria***

In self development June 8, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Remi Kyne: 5 Lies You Should Stop Telling Today

Little lies like “I’m on my way” are pretty harmless. But there are other little lies that mean big business in your life. These lies can seem insignificant but are very powerful. They can say a lot about how you feel about yourself or someone else. They can also be used as a place holder or time saver. But in the end they can really cost you in life and love. So here are 5 lies you need to unlearn right now.

Little lies can actually bring big problems. Here are 5 ‘harmless’ lies that will really hurt your life.

“I’m fine”

No, you’re not. This is the go-to lie of anyone who doesn’t feel like explaining themselves. More often than not you are far from fine when you say, “I’m fine.” What you’re really saying is, “I’m trying to be fine. I want to be fine. I’m upset. I’m hurt. I’m sad. I’m scared. But I’m totally not fine.”

You really need to trust someone to spill your guts to. But that’s what friends, and family, is for. Follow-up to this salient admission with, “I could use some support. That will help me actually be fine.”

“I don’t care”

Yes, you do. It might be embarrassing to admit you still have an emotional investment in a situation that is dead, dying or toxic. But being honest with yourself will help you be honest with others. Your friends and family may not respond well to an honest statement like, “It really bothers me.” But if you back it up with “But I know things are the way they should be,” or “I know it’s for the best,” you can avoid some eye rolls and head shakes. You care right now but you will be okay, eventually.

“I’m over it”

Are you really? Or do you want to be? If you’re just angry, offended and defensive it will seep through a tough exterior. Holding grudges is unhealthy for your mind and body. But letting bad behavior go and moving forward without processing it can be harmful too. Being “over” something means you acknowledge what happened and understand your feelings about it. You can then accept your decision to move on with or without someone, or something. When you’re really over it it holds no weight over you.

“I don’t know”

Are you sure? Trust your gut. If you feel something is brewing, investigate. If your partner is being distant, find out why. If you’re not being kept in the loop, make some calls. Be proactive in your life and make things happen. Don’t let your life happen to you.

“I’m trying”

But what are you doing? Trying means you’re putting in work to get what and where you want. Thinking about things is only the first step. Planning is a good follow-up. But then you need follow-through. You need to do. Keep a checklist of whatever you’re working toward and make sure to mark it off regularly. If you are truly trying you should have a record of your steps for success.

Sometimes it’s easier to hide your feeling or your faults than admit something deeper is going on. You have to trust your own feelings to trust another person with them. You must be honest with yourself and be honest with others.

Looking to the future and coming from where you’d like to be is an encouraging mental exercise. But it can lead you to living a less than genuine life. Don’t get used to holding in or denying your true feelings. Be open and let your support system support you through hard times.

In self development June 2, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Enitan Facos: 3 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away

So you met a man and everything was going great between the two of you. Or so you thought.

Then, quick as lightning, he was out the door.

When it comes to relationships, women and men have unique perspectives. From first date etiquette to when to sleep with their partner, the outlooks are diverse.

However, when a man pulls away from the woman he’s seeing it’s usually for a specific reason.

Here are three HUGE mistakes you may be making that push men away.

You’re clingy

If there’s one thing that’ll send any man running it’s a clingy woman. Sure, it’s nice to be affectionate and show him that he’s on your mind, but when you make him your be and end all, he’ll start to feel smothered.

When this happens he’ll try to regain his independence by pulling away.

What’s worse is when you make it known that you’re falling for him, too quickly. Since men are looking for fun in the beginning of a relationship, letting him know that you’re already planning your future together will scare him away.

Instead of showing your emotions too soon, it’s crucial that you remain calm, cool and collected.

Remember, if a man senses that a woman wants more from him and the relationship than he’s prepared to give, he will pull away.

You’re insecure

Studies have shown that 97% of women are unhappy with their bodies at least once a day.

However, when it comes to relationships showing your insecurities is never a good idea.

Sure, it’s nice to be comfortable enough to talk about your gym routine or the healthy eating kick you’re on with your man, but if you’re asking him “Do these jeans make me look fat” or nagging anytime an attractive woman talks to him, then you’re digging your own relationship grave.

The problem is that once your insecurities start to show there’s no going back. Instead of pushing him away with your self-doubts show him your happy-go-lucky side and he’ll be hooked.

A good tip to follow is to pretend that every date with your man is a first because there’s no way you’d let him see this side of you then.

You’re unhappy without him

Just because you’re happy when you’re with him it doesn’t mean that he isn’t catching on to your negativity when he’s not in the room. In fact, if he knows that he’s your sole source of happiness then it’s likely to push him away.

The problem here is this type of situation makes him feel pressured to keep you content, and that’s a huge responsibility for anyone!

Instead of relying on him to keep you smiling, make the most of your life. Do the things that you love. When you do, you’ll not only be making yourself happier, but it’ll improve the overall quality of your relationship too.

For a deeper insight on what pushes men away take a moment and watch this free video presentation by relationship expert, Amy North.

Source: https://hackspirit.com/3-huge-mistakes-women-make-that-push-men-away/

In self development May 31, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Toddy Rosiji: 10 Signs He Loves You But Scared To Fall For You

Is your man giving you mixed signals? You think he might love you, but for some reason, he appears hesitant about it? When it comes to dealing with men and their complicated behavior, it can be tough to understand what they’re truly thinking.

After all, sometimes a man is cold BECAUSE they love you, and other times they’re cold BECAUSE they just don’t like you.

However, when you research and understand male psychology, it’s not as complicated as you might think.

So in this article, I thought we’d go over tried and true ways to figure out exactly how he is truly feeling.

We’ll also go over the reasons why he might be scared about falling in love with you.

We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.

He can’t help but stare at you

This is an obvious sign that he loves you. Guys will generally do it naturally.

Whether you’re doing something boring like working on your laptop, or you’re taking out the washing to dry, he can’t help but look at you doing it.All you have to do is glance over his way every now and then and see if you catch him looking.If he is looking, you can bet your bottom dollar that he loves you.

Also, focus on how he looks at you when you’re having a conversation with him. You’ll see the kind of puppy love eyes with a cute smile that naturally occurs when you start talking.

Once you see your man doing this, it’s a clear sign he is genuinely in love.

Now if he is scared about his feelings, he might quickly look away when he catches you looking. He doesn’t want you to know that he can’t help but look at you.

But if he maintains eye contact with you, then he definitely isn’t scared about his feelings and he is letting you know directly he likes you.

He’s ignoring you

Surely if he is ignoring you he doesn’t love you, right?Wrong!

Sometimes a guy ignores you because he loves you, particularly if he is scared about it.

Sound confusing?

Well, some guys will go out of their way to do anything but appear desperate.They don’t want to show that they love you because then that will give everything away.

It’s also a way to protect their ego.If they think that you might not be interested in them, then they’ll pull back on expressing their emotions.And the best way to do this is to ignore you.

But don’t worry, once you start showing that you’re interested, too, then he’ll come around and start expressing himself better. He won’t be scared that he is falling in love with you because he knows that you’re falling for him.

3.He remembers every little detail of what you say

We’ve all heard before men aren’t the best listeners. And to be honest, for the most part, that is probably true.But if your man loves you, he’ll listen to everything you say. He hangs on it! If you mention that you’re attending your sister’s friend’s birthday party, he’ll be the first to ask how it was the next day.

If he mentions that your allergic to peanuts, then any restaurant that he chooses for you to go to, he’ll make sure peanuts aren’t on the menu. When he’s listening unconditionally to what you’re saying, you know it’s true love.

He hangs on to your every word, and he respects what you have to say too. It comes so naturally for him, actually. He just can’t help but take note of every little thing you say.

4.He struggles to express his feelings with you

This is a clear sign that he’s scared of falling in love with you, but might be scared about those feelings. He knows he cares for you deeply, and it’s starting to worry him.

Why would it worry him? A common reason for a man is that the strong emotions he is feeling are something he can’t control.

Men like to be in control, and his feelings for you are becoming so strong that he doesn’t know how to handle it.

He won’t be able to talk about his emotions because he fears he’ll lose control.

The best he can do is avoid talking about it.

Also, it’s important to realize that men, in general, are scared of talking about their feelings.

Many men have grown up believing that they need to not let emotions affect them, so they do their best to ignore them.

So, how can you get him to open up?

The most important quality you need to show is that you’re trustworthy. Tell him you’re there for him. Open up to him so he feels comfortable opening up to you.

Sometimes, you can’t force him to talk about his emotions. You need to let him know that you’re there for him and then be patient.

5. His friends know how much he cares about you

This is a clear sign that he loves you if his friends know a huge deal about you. Perhaps they know what your job is, how you two met, and what sport you love to play. How could this be the case when he is scared to admit that he loves you?

Simple.

Guys find it much easier to communicate with their guy friends, and they’ll naturally share the details of someone they’re keen on.

It shows that he can’t get you off his mind.

What’s more, he’ll also invite you out with his friends so he can show you off.

When a guy falls in love, he becomes naturally protective of his love interest. This is basic male psychology.

When you’ve had an argument with a friend, he’ll naturally take your side.

When you cross the road, he’ll put his body on the side of the traffic.

He can’t help it.

Even if he is afraid to admit that he loves for various reasons, he won’t be able to control his actions of wanting to protect you and be your hero.

He might not have told you in words that he loves you. But you see it in everything that he does. You see it in the way he looks at you. You see it in the way he holds you. He shows it in the simplest gestures that touch your heart in the deepest ways.

7.He is acting nervous around you

This goes back to the point before about ignoring you. The reason he is feeling nervous has to do with his emotions. He is feeling something strongly and is starting to realize that he loves you.

But because of this, he’ll want to impress you at all costs.

What does this do?

It puts pressure on him to perform! He wants to make you interested in him, which will make him nervous.He doesn’t want to lose you, and he doesn’t want you to not like him.

So how can you tell if he is nervous?

Nervous people tend to be more fidgety. He also might have trouble speaking clearly around you, which will cause him to speak less.Another sign that someone is nervous is if their acting hyper or weird.

So if your man is acting a little hyper and telling weird jokes, keep in mind that he is just nervous because he likes you.

Once he starts feeling more comfortable, he’ll come around and start acting normal again.

Remember that if he loves you but is scared to admit that he loves you, this will only add to his nerves when he’s around you.

He’ll realize that he hasn’t exactly got total control over his emotions and that will make him scared, anxious, and fearful.

This will lead to even more nervous behavior that we spoke about above.

8.He constantly seeks out your advice

If he is asking for your opinion on important decisions that he needs to make, it’s obvious that he trusts your guidance and might be already in love with you.

It shows that he truly cares what you think. He thinks you’re intelligent and that you actually care about giving him good advice.

This is especially the case if he is revealing details about his life when he seeks your guidance. This is a great clue that he trusts you and desperately wants to bare his soul to you.

And if he really cares what you think, it means that he really cares about you.

9.He wants to be around you all the time

When a guy loves you, they can’t help but try to get as close as they can to their love interest. If you’re out to dinner with a group of people, he’ll somehow find a way to sit next to you. If you’re at a party, then he manages to position himself near you for the majority of the time. The funny thing is, he doesn’t really mean to. It just happens subconsciously because he loves being around you.

10.He can’t stop complimenting you

He looks at you and says you’re beautiful. He comments on how kind and caring you are. He tells you how much he appreciates the meals you cook or the job you’ve committed yourself to.

He goes out of his way to let you know that you’re awesome. And it’s obvious you’re having a bad day, he’ll do his best to lift you up by complimenting you.

It’s not because he is trying to suck up to you, it’s just that he finds it hard to say that he loves you, and instead says it in other ways.

11.He displays little signs of affection.

Don’t get twisted. The little things DO count.

Little gestures of love show that he is in love with you. He cares for you and he is thinking of you.

Those little things can be as simple as holding hands or buying you a small gift to lift your spirit ups.

It’s also a key sign if he is doing it not to impress you, but just to make you feel better.

It shows where his mind is at and what he is truly feeling. After all, it’s difficult to constantly pre-meditate little signs of affection.

And we all can say whatever we want but it’s our actions that count

12.He keeps supporting you

No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re cooking dinner for the two of you, or you’re pursuing your dreams in your career, he is always supporting you and cheering you on from the sidelines.

He wants the best for you. He wants you to realize your potential and he wants you to be fulfilled.He can’t help but encourage you to follow your dreams because your happiness is paramount to his happiness.

And when it comes to love, you support them unconditionally. That’s just how it is.

Reasons why he might be scared to fall for you

It’s all well and good to work out that he loves you and is scared about it, but the deeper issue is why the hell is he scared about it?

There could be several reasons he is scared about falling for you, some of which are more innocent than others.

So if the signs are pointing that he is scared to be falling for you, here are the most common reasons why:

1.He has just got out of a long-term relationship

He’s had a long-term relationship, and he’s been going through a tough break-up. This is extremely common.

He’s told himself he doesn’t want to be in a relationship for a while, and then you come along which starts giving him the feels.Love physically hurts because our bodies release hormones and endorphins to protect us and ready us to move as quickly as possible away from the perceived threat.But that threat lingers in our mind for days, weeks, months and even years in some cases after a bad break up. That’s why he is scared about falling for you. He doesn’t want to get hurt again.

2.He’s been hurt in the past

When you’ve been hurt in the past because a previous partner has cheated on you, or abused you, it can make you very skeptical of getting in a relationship with someone else.This is why his guard might be up, and he is naturally afraid of getting close to anyone again. But don’t worry. All this means is that you have to build trust with him. The more he trusts you, the more he’ll open up and eventually let his guard down. Remember that dating a person that’s been hurt in the past is all about making them feel safe and secure in the relationship.

When he understands that he can trust you, it will alleviate his worries about falling for someone that could potentially hurt him.

3.He doesn’t think you like him back

Can you come across as a bit of an ice queen? You know the old resting bitch face even when you don’t intend to? When it appears like you’re not interested, then you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s going to be scared about falling for you. This is can even happen in relationships, where a partner fears that they are falling much harder for their lover than their partner.

Nobody wants to be the one with stronger feelings. It can lead to neediness, desperation, and getting hurt. The good news is that there is an easy way to overcome this. All you have to do is show him that you are interested, and he’ll realize that the feelings are reciprocated. There are different ways to show him that you like him, whether it’s buying him gifts or showing him affectiob when he least expects it.

Once he knows that you like or love him, he’ll be more willing to show his feelings, too.

Source:https://hackspirit.com/signs-he-loves-you-but-is-scared/

In self development May 31, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

5 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Believe In Yourself Again

Self-love requires understanding and engaging with yourself at the most intimate level, and opening up to yourself in a way that might be uncomfortable and unfamiliar for most of us.

Here are our 5 tips to help you live with self-love:

1) Live with Intent:

Live mindfully, truthfully, and intentionally. Do not lose yourself in your moments, and if you do, find out why you lost yourself and what you can do to stay present.

Your life is limited – time is your most important currency – and the more you show yourself that you value your time, the more you prove to yourself that you love your life.

2) Live with Care:

Treat yourself well; physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Listen to your body and your mind at the most basic level – if something doesn’t make you feel good, then it is probably bad for you. Protect yourself, from the dangers of both greasy food and toxic friends.

Your mind is your window into the world; keep it clean, keep it strong, and your world will stay equally positive.

Practice a proper diet, exercise regularly, sleep enough hours, and engage in healthy social behavior that secures your personal growth.

And make sure to live with boundaries. Don’t limit yourself, but don’t confuse self-love with hedonism. Moderation is good for the soul.

3) Live with Forgiveness:

You will make mistakes. You’ve most certainly already made a ton, filling you with various bouts of guilt and regret trapped in the back of your head.

You are human, after all, and that’s what makes life worth living: the unexpectedness of your own humanity

But learn to forgive, yourself and those around you. Every day you wake up is an opportunity to grow away from the person you were the day before.

If that person made a mistake, then try to understand and forgive, as you can work towards being a different person tomorrow.

4) Live with Need:

Your mind is your greatest asset, so trust it. When presented with a situation to overindulge, ask yourself: do I need this or do I want it? In most cases, what you think you need is simply a case of you wanting it.

And while it is more than fine to pleasure yourself with your own desires every now and then, it is important to remember not to fall into self-made destructive habits based on desire and want.

Live according to what your mind, body, and soul need.

Turn away from the pleasures of laziness, of automatic happiness, of destructive behavior, because these are short-term, and they care nothing for the person you could be.

You are the only person who must live with yourself for your entire life, so make your happiness last longer than a day.

5) Live with Yourself:

And finally, it is crucial to learn to live with yourself as if you were someone else.

When faced with the task of self-loving, we think too much in the abstract; we think of it as a mental challenge, a psychological question rather than a task we can actively work towards achieving.

But loving yourself is as simple as loving anyone else, so ask yourself: how would you love yourself, if you were someone else?

Treat yourself with the same respect, kindness, and mindfulness that you would offer the people who matter most to you in your life.

Love yourself with the same patience and tenderness you would give your own child, partner, sibling, or parent.

Be kind but be stern; learn to discipline, but learn to forgive. You are your own greatest fan, your own greatest rival, and your own greatest love.

Learn to see yourself in ways you have never considered.

Self-love seems so easy in movies and shows. Just let go of the thoughts, problems, and people causing stress in your life, exchange them with sources of joy and happiness, and voila: you are a self-loving king or queen.

But true, transformative, authentic self-love isn’t so easy. While you might feel great for some time, there will be many moments when you want to give up, where you might convince yourself that your attempts at self-love are meaningless and childish and stupid, that the world is hard and cruel and you should just learn to live with it.

But don’t stop. Keep going. Self-love isn’t about happiness. It’s about improving your life as much as you currently can, and accepting it.

In Career Gems May 31, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

#JusticeForUwa: Uniben Undergraduate Raped And Murdered Inside Church (Graphic Photos)

A 22-year-old lady, identified as Uwaila Omozuwa, has died at the University of Benin Teaching Hospital (UBTH), Edo State, after she was beaten and raped inside her local church. It was gathered that Uwaila, who was an 100-level Microbiology student of UNIBEN, goes to read everyday at The Redeemed Christian Church of God, Edo Province 10, Ikpoba Hill, Benin, but was unfortunately beaten, raped and hit with a fire extinguisher by unknown men on Wednesday 27th May, 2020.

According to a source, “The church’s security officer had gone to collect the keys to the church from its keeper when he was told that there was someone in the church already. He got to the church only to find Uwaila in a pool of blood and next to her was the fire extinguisher which was used to bash her face..

He ran back to inform the key keeper and his wife, who went to the church to meet her lifeless, thinking she was dead. After careful observation, they noticed she moved her hand and quickly rushed her to the hospital. It was at the hospital that Uwaila revealed she was reading all alone when some unknown men came into the church , beat, raped and hit her head with a fire extinguisher. However, she later passed on. . The case was eventually reported to Oregbeni Police Station, but nothing has been done about it so far. Her friends and family have now taken to social media to demand action, using the hashtag #JusticeForUwa

In self development May 28, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Raquel Daniel Celebrates Menstrual Hygiene Day with New Book “Flow”

In a world that is increasingly public about all sorts of previously private topics, menstruation shouldn’t remain a

Despite women having had periods since the dawn of time, menstruation is still not freely discussed and in some parts of the world, an off-limits topic. The information girls hear around them is often negative and sometimes incorrect. Even school health classes that discuss the subject often focus on the most basic, without ever touching on the real, practical experience of a monthly cycle. As a result, menarche, a girl’s first period is still likely to be confusing for her.

Raquel Daniel, the founder of Beyond the Classroom Foundation and an impact strategist, has unveiled a book that will increase awareness about good menstrual hygiene management and ensure that more young girls, especially those approaching puberty, are armed with the necessary information they need in order not to be caught unawares by the inevitable changes that come with menstruation.

Her new book titled, ‘FLOW: a girl’s guide to menstruation’ she offers encouraging support while answering real questions that girls have about the changes in their bodies and explains menstruation in a way that young girls can relate to. In this book, Raquel also spoke about how her late father taught her about menstruation before she turned 10, shared practical advice and busted the myths and misconceptions surrounding menstruation.

Through Beyond the Classroom Foundation, Raquel has worked with young girls in different communities, while running various projects like ‘Project Red Robots’ with which has distributed sanitary pads and education on sexual & reproductive health to over 10,000 girls across Nigeria.

According to Raquel, so many girls, especially those in the rural communities, welcome their first periods with anxiety, without knowing anything at all about menstruation. In my work with girls, I’ve seen how lack of accurate information has left some of them confused and embarrassed. She said.

While Menstrual Hygiene Day is recognized each year on May 28, it should not only be limited to this day. We must ensure that education about menstruation and the removal of the stigma around menstruation continues to occur around the world daily, Raquel added.

In self development May 24, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Nike Folagbade: Ladies, 3 Ways To Become Approachable By Men

For a long time, I kept turning men off with my hard look. I wasn’t always smiling. A long face became a default and this made some men stay away. I had few people who approached me to correct me but I always felt they didn’t know what they were saying.

Ladies, do you want to be more approachable?

These days, a lot of men complain that it’s difficult talking to some girls because they either get shunned or don’t even bother approaching due to what they sense from afar.

I decided to write on 3 quick tips to make you more approachable among many other tips.

Can you just smile? That was what a man told me as I came out of the bank some weeks back. I wondered if it was his business to frown but the more I frowned, the more he said, “Please just smile”. But I thought about it later on that he must have had the boldness to tell me while some ignored me because I didn’t smile. It’s not easy for men to approach ladies but your smiling face and open external attitude can reduce the fear in them.

Smiling increases good life and good health too. Please smile.

Look smart, classy and bright: To be sincere, I’m visual and I like it when people look good. This morning, I approached a lady and said, “Your gown is fine.” She didn’t hear me well, so I repeated it three times for her to notice and she smiled back and said thank you. Who no like better thing?

Looking good enhances a friendly environment and attention. Looking hot is different from nudity.

I was bad with my dressing before I got married and it made me less attractive. I shared so many wrong things I did in my book; “How I Got The Ring”. It took a lot of conscious effort, research and intentionality for me to get better.

There is a part of you that enhances your beauty, enhance it well. I have soft and nice lips, but at least, I can add a touch of wet lips or lipstick. Please don’t use lipstick to get a man if you will not use it after marriage.

Looking good is first from the mind so it has to reflect. You may look good and still not be approachable; you need to add the smile I mentioned above.

Be humble and respectful: The only way to make a man feel a little comfortable when he approaches you is by responding to his little “HI or Hello” with a courteous response. It speaks a lot. Don’t just treat people like they are nothing.

The fact that he is shorter than you want doesn’t mean you should ignore him. Be nice, you may meet again. The fact that he wasn’t in a car doesn’t mean he is not valuable either. You may be surprised at where you will meet him later on. Be careful to create a good impression even if you don’t attend to his offer.

Not all friendships should become intimate relationships so build other kinds of relationships intentionally.

What are the other ways to become approachable?

I know we have a lot of them, do tell me some.

About Nike

Nike Adedokun Folagbade helps singles build healthy relationships via break up, dating and relationships coaching.

Her goal is to help many singles recover from heartbreaks, attract and keep the right partner and build healthy relationships.

She has been featured in numerous magazines, newspaper, television and radio programs like Channels, The Punch, Business Day News, CoreTv, The guardian, City fm, Happenings Radio amongst others.

Her Facebook group, The Right Partner Community is targeted at helping one single at a time achieve their relationship milestone. She blogs at www.nikefolagbade.com and can be reached via adenikeadedokun@gmail.com or hello@nikefolagbade.com

In self development May 24, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Underestimate A Classy Lady

You may be deceived by her poise and elegance. You think that underneath it all, she may not be firm or be able to put her foot down. But don’t be fooled. Classy women are women of substance. Although their exterior appears seamless, they can very well be spitfires.

Here’s why:

She’s passionate about what she believes in

Classy women are adamant about what they feel is right and wrong, and will express their point of view. What they won’t do is demote the opinions of other well-meaning people–-they use their emotional intelligence to build bridges with others.

She knows how to set boundaries

They won’t hesitate to make their needs crystal clear and will speak up in order to get what they deserve. They don’t get bogged down with minutia and know how to use the word “no.”

She’s calm under crises

Even when they’re dealing with stressful situations, classy women know how to maintain their cool. People may wreak havoc and act out of sorts, but under pressure she conserves her energy and puts it to good use.

She’s selective about her priorities

They’re choosy about what they focus their attention on – not because they don’t care about others’ concerns, but because they know what takes precedence. If they have a deadline to meet or an emergency to handle, the less immediate things can wait.

She doesn’t have to do it all

They aren’t afraid to delegate what they don’t have time to do, after all they’re only human. The ability to ask for help is a sign of their strength and knowledge of self. They’ll never see this as a weakness.

Source: womenworking.com

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