Kemi Lala Akindoju (Senior Movies Creative Executive), Kaye Ann Williams (Head of Scripted and movies for South Africa), Brendan Gabriel (Senior Unscripted Creative Executive for South Africa), and Mike-Steve Adeleye (Senior Scripted Creative Executive for Nigeria) will join Wangi Mba-Uzoukwu on the Amazon Studios Originals development team.
They will build Africa’s premiere studio and a home for talent to grow and share their original stories with the world.
In a LinkedIn post announcing the team, Amazon studios’ Head of Originals, Africa and the Middle East, Ned Mitchell wrote:
“Another big day! I’m thrilled to share that our Amazon Studios Local Originals team has grown even more, both in South Africa and Nigeria. Please welcome Kaye Ann Williams, Brendan Gabriel, Lala Akindoju, and Mike-Steve Adeleye to the Amazon Studios Originals development team, joining Wangi Mba-Uzoukwu.
“This immensely talented group joins with the singular goal of building Africa’s premiere studio and home for talent. Together with our colleagues and partners, we are at work to deliver authentic, premium, and beloved hit scripted and unscripted series and movies to our local and global audiences.”
“I am incredibly excited to be joining the Amazon Studios Local Originals team as the Senior Movies Creative Executive, Nigeria,” Akindoju shared on Instagram. “Amazon Studios has shown its commitment to creating opportunities that are laser focused on creatives & content.”
Women of Rubies was created by Esther Ijewere to celebrate exceptional women. Esther Ijewere is an enterprising social activist, women’s advocate, columnist, author and the Founder of Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children — a non-profit outfit devoted to advocacy, development and social enterprise solutions amongst others.
An Olabisi Onabanjo University trained Sociologist, Esther Ijewere is the brain behind W.A.R. — Walk Against Rape, an advocacy initiative created to lend a voice for the victims of rape and demand justice, an initiative endorsed by the Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation.
The NGO organises workshops in secondary schools tagged College Acquaintance Rape Education (C.A.R.E) in partnership with the Lagos state Ministry of Justice and the Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT). Esther, the initiator of Project Capable; a Lagos State Ministry of Education approved programme, Esther is the youngest recipient of The Idea Builders Women Mentoring Women Award, winning Mentee of the year 2010 and “Women Enterprise Award” from Vital Voices International & Exxon Mobil.
Esther Ijewere
She also won the award for “Best Use of Advocacy” from her Alma Mata; Olabisi Onabanjo University in 2012, for her contribution in fighting and creating awareness on Rape.
In 2016 Esther bagged four awards for her platform Women of Rubies, notably among these award is “Young Person of the Year” and “Wise Women in Media” awards.
She is a Fellow with Vital Voices Global Leadership USA; an organization founded by Hillary Clinton and aimed at empowering young women change makers all over the world.
She unveiled her first book on rape and violence against women, titled “Breaking the Silence”. She is also a columnist with the Guardian Newspaper, her page “ Women of Rubies” a platform used to celebrate exceptional women with inspiring stories, the page is a sequel to her award winning blog www.womenofrubies.com, which is fast becoming the one stop blog for the everyday woman. Esther recently started a platform for men called “Men who Inspire”, to further balance her advocacy work as an advocate, and also kicked off the #GettalkingwithEsther show to spread positivity on social media.
Kindly tell us the story of Women of Rubies, your career path and how it all started?
Women of Rubies was born out of my passion for humanity. I started out as a social activist, lending my voice to victims of rape, and other forms of gender-based violence. This evolved into the media, which is the Women of Rubies platform where I use my column and blog as a vehicle of social change to put the spotlight on other women in different sectors who are contributing their quota to nation building and adding value to the society through their work.
Looking back, would you say Women of Rubies and your other initiatives have achieved what it set out to accomplish?
Absolutely! We have accomplished even more than we envisaged ten years ago. Despite the losses we suffered, we have stayed solid and consistent through the years.
Every project we have embarked on has impacted lives and added value. We have served those at the grassroots and the high earned professionals. The ripple effect of the work we do is unquantifiable, and that’s the reason why even after 10 years, with all the bumps and losses we’ve encountered, we are still very relevant in the sectors we represent, because God is fully involved in everything we do.
Rubies Ink Initiative championed the first of its kind Walk against Rape campaign in Nigeria, The walk did not only encourage victims of rape to speak up, It also became an annual event most of concerned Nigerians and celebrities look forward to. We used different toolkit (workshops, media, information handbook, town hall meetings in different communities) to educate and sensitize the society.
We also got justice for several victims through our alliance with the Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs and the domestic and sexual violence response team (DSVRT). The walk is endorsed by the Federal and State Government respectively. We have over fifty celebrities and influencers who are our ambassadors.
They use their platforms to educate the society on the scourge of rape, and aim for victims to get justice. The walk will be moving to other parts of Nigeria this year by God’s grace.
With Women of Rubies, we have given visibility and brought stories of different amazing women to the front burner, featured and celebrated over 1000 (one thousand women) through our Guardian Newspaper column, blog and social media pages.
We have raised over N5M funds for several women in distress, paid hospital bills, supported widows, paid rent for homeless victims of domestic violence and also re-integrate them back into the society. During the thick of COVID-19 pandemic, we were one of the organizations at the forefront raising funds for families who were affected, and we continue to support many.
Let’s talk about “Get Talking with Esther”. Can you shed more light on this project?
I am very expressive, I love to write and read from people, I love to celebrate people and give them hope, I love when I can feel people’s thoughts through words. “Get talking with Esther” is just about that. It’s a #Tweetchat session that gives you the ambience of a show on Twitter.
Basically, using my platform, years of experience, and skill set for social good to give everyone a voice. We fix broken tables, bring “Under the table” conversations to the front burner for positivity. We bring people who share life experiences, healing, and learning. My mission is to use the show to spread positivity on social media, especially Twitter. It will be 2 years by August 13th, 2022.
Intimate us about your proudest moments in the last ten years?
There are many proud moments, and it will be hard to pick just one. But I’d say each time I touch someone’s life, give hope to a helpless person, use my platform to celebrate a person who needs visibility and light up someone’s dark path, it becomes a proud moment.
The joy of giving back and paying it forward is innate. It’s my happy place. Above all, being a mother, and experiencing childbirth is my proudest moment. The joy of holding your baby in your hands. It’s unexplainable. I pray every woman seeking the fruit of the womb will experience this.
Kindly mention some of the lessons life has taught you?
Patience; life has taught me to be patient with myself and others. Setting boundaries is also one of the lessons I have learnt over the years. For a longtime, I didn’t have boundaries, and I ended up burning out and feeling used. The moment I started setting my boundaries, things changed. I learned how to say no respectfully without feeling guilty. Setting boundaries has helped me greatly in navigating where and who I give my energy.
Life also taught me the beauty of releasing power and letting go easily. While I am still a work in progress, these lessons have helped me stay grounded and focused.
You have a passion for women and single mothers. How was this ignited?
My passion for women is innate, I mean being a woman, I should love and support other women naturally. However, single motherhood is very personal. I am a single mum, I know and identify the pain and struggles of single mothers. It’s twice the sacrifice, and it takes a lot to raise kids alone. Spreading light to other lone parents is from a place of experience, love and understanding. I wish society would judge us less, and support us more.
Was there any time you had felt like giving in, wrapping your platforms and moving on?
Yes, several times. It’s hard to run an organization in Nigeria, especially when you don’t have core funding and lack committed human power. I almost gave up everything when my marriage crashed. My saving grace was remembering that my purpose is bigger than me, and my light is brighter than being a wife. Each time I have those wrapping up moments, I reflect on why I started and the beautiful moments.I will keep pushing against all odds. It’s an assignment and I have to do it well. Giving up is not an option.
Esther is smart, strong, opinionated, and kind hearted. She is determined, dogged and much focused. She is passionate about issues that affect women and children. She is the Introvert, who loves her own space, the multi-tasking single mum who works hard so her kids can learn all she was not taught. The deep soul, and very spiritual woman who prays a lot. The writer who writes with passion and deep understanding for humanity. The very private woman who prefers to share her work than her personal life. The playful, happy-go-lucky girl who is living intentionally. Esther, like every human is not perfect. She is a work in progress
What principles have worked for you over the years?
Putting God first, staying focused, honesty, diligence and speaking my truth against all odds. These principles have and continue to help me stay grounded.
How did you build such a strong following on social media?
That’s the power of consistency. I have also managed to keep a drama-free life on social media, separated my personal life from my work, and consciously use my platforms to support folks and spread love and light. I have also focused on being relevant and not just popular. I worked hard over the years to make my name a solution to a problem I solve. People gravitate towards value naturally. However, I do not take glory for any of it. I am just a vessel doing God’s bidding on earth. It is my hope that my light continues to attract and touch souls all over the world, even beyond social media.
Who are your role models?
My Mom for being a strong support system and instilling the right values in me. I always tell people that my life, especially my philanthropic side, is a reflection of good upbringing. However, I am a mummy’s girl with a mind of my own.
Oprah Winfrey- Her success and resilience is a vision board of what I intend to be and more. One of my late Uncles; Bolaji Rosiji, told me one time that my drive and passion reminds him of Oprah. It’s a compliment I hold dear to my heart. I wish to meet her someday.
Every woman before me in the development, advocacy and media sector is my role model. I have great respect for pace-setters who gave young women like me wings to fly, the ones who make room for us to grow and amplify our light.
If you were to start all over again what will you do differently?
I will align with people who have more expertise than me, and be more open about my struggles and challenges. Being in a society where you are constantly judged for your failure and mistakes could kill your morale, and make it hard for you to open up.
I am learning how to ask for help and lean on people who can add value to me, and my brand. Life is a lesson, I embrace everything with love, and open to change and best practices.
What is your message to women battling one challenge or the other?
Don’t give up! .There is light at the end of the dark tunnel. Don’t keep your problems to yourself, share with people who can proffer solutions and help. You are not your mistake and challenges, don’t let it consume you. There is always someone out there you can talk to, and ask for support.
I meditate, listen to frequency music, practice self-affirmations, focus on my power spot for energy boost, and stay mindful. I reduce my screen time when I am down and just be in the moment, appreciating the things in my present.
Watch: How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome
How do you unwind?
Spending time with my kids, Netflix and chill, and sometimes hanging out with friends and family who love me for who I am.
Global Inspirational and Lifestyle Platform, Her Network is set to host an interactive impact experience with phenomenal women from various industries and professional backgrounds under one roof on September 18th at The Wheatbaker Hotel, Lagos.
“Her Summit” is a gathering of female founders, career women, and aspiring changemakers, providing opportunities for women to connect with peers and other successful female leaders where they can benefit from mentoring, network building, listening and learning from impact stories, and more.
The Summit’s theme, “The Power of Community,” emphasizes the importance of communities as a catalyst for the success of an individual or a collective, conversations around the entrepreneurial ecosystem, career, and personal growth, collaboration and more are on the agenda for the day.
Speakers expected at Her Summit include Joyce Awosika, Founder of Oriki Group and UNWIND, Yanmo Omorogbe, Co-Founder of Bamboo, Ifedayo Agoro, Founder of Dang Lifestyle, Bukky George-Taylor, Founder of Robert Taylor Media, Crawl App, Pearl Uzokwe, the Executive Director Sahara Foundation at Sahara Group Limited, Musical Artist Kaliné, Bunmi Adeniba, Marketing Director of The Coca-Cola Company, Temilola Adekpetun, MD/CEO of SKLD Integrated Services Limited, Bolanle Olukanni, Zainab Balogun and many more.
Aiyekusehin Monisola is the strategy lead and founder of Betharbel foundation a non profit creating a bright future for the African woman and child, With over 7years in experience as a social innovator working across sectors such as sexual and reproductive health, STEAM Education and climate change.
She has impacted over 3000 students and 1500 Women through her work in Betharbel foundation, and increased profit for 100 women through her Bethpad project.
Monisola is interested in Inclusive Education, climate change ,and international Development. Over the past two years Monisola has been working with the IDPs and is passionate about ensuring that the IDP children get quality education through the free tuition project of Betharbel foundation for the IDP children.
She earned her masters degree in international Relations from university of Benin in 2018. She is a fellow African change maker ,An Ambassador for women health with Days for girls international , YALI RLC Alumni, an Ambassador for change with save and nurture the child foundation, and the 2022 GEDA pitch winner and fellow for Donors for Africa Foundation. She shares her story with Esther Ijewere in this interview.
Childhood Influence
My childhood prepared me partially for what am doing today, I was born into an average family with three other siblings, my both parents were civil servants , and it wasn’t quite easy fending for the family with the peanuts they earned, my both parents had to do menial jobs with their government jobs to ensure we got quality education and food on the table. I watched these scenarios and I made up my mind that I would make life more comfortable and meaningful for every woman and child as God blesses me. and so I began learning different skills early as a teenager with the motive of empowering anyone who crosses my path, ensuring I leave them better than I met them.
Inspiration Behind Betharbel foundation
Two things inspired me to start up the Betharbel foundation, First the struggles I experienced as a child ,I didn’t want anyone to experience these struggles without a way out. I knew there was something I could do to help . Secondly the abuse I experienced from the first month of my marriage, I lived in abuse for 10 years and I experienced all forms of abuse from physical, emotional ,verbal, psychological, just name it. I discovered that children and women were the most vulnerable, I wanted to be a voice to the voiceless and I needed a platform to do this ,so it fueled my passion to start up my foundation with the aim of creating a bright future for the African women and children. My mantra became the broken often become masters at mending, no woman or child should experience the pain and trauma I have been through, and if they have I can help them on their journey to healing.
Impacting 3000 Students And 1500 Women Through My Projects
We have carried out projects in Bayelsa and Abuja. Menstrual hygiene projects in Five secondary schools in Bayelsa 3000 students, Hand Wash campaigns in 5 primary schools and 7 secondary schools in Bayelsa, Vocational skills training in yenegwe community training over 200 women and empowering 20 of the participants. COVID 19 education in schools and communities within Bayelsa, provision of COVID relief materials to 200 aged women and single moms at IDP camp in Osiri Bayelsa state, face mask drive for 2000 people in swali Market. Pad bank for girls in kuchiyako community ,kuje distributing pads to 200 girls and many others.
The Journey So Far
The organization started in 2018,but was officially incorporated in 2020,before then I have been a serial volunteer , volunteering for various NGOs, I would say my journey has been fun and challenging Fun because it’s what am passionate about. And I don’t mind spending my all to put a smile on the face of the vulnerable and so am always excited doing this. On the other hand I would say challenging because of some of the Bottlenecks I encounter on the field, financial limitations and the fact that we are not a “big name” in the non profit sector ,but in all I have been consistent, and gradually on a daily basis I can tell my impact story, my little effort is putting smiles on the faces of people particularly women and girls.
Ripple Effect Of Training 3000 Youths
God has been faithful and The impact has been unimaginable going down memory lane when we started in Bayelsa, particularly the skills training in 2019 I can testify of blessing in igbogene community in Yenagoa local government presently an undergraduate student of Niger delta university, who was a secondary school leaver at that time who was part of those who got trained in tailoring and got a sewing machine, the skills she acquired is what she uses to support herself through school she is presently in her 300 level. We have also increased profit for women in the IDP camp through our bethpad project with the aim of ending period poverty and also empowering these women economically. The testimonials are numerous to write, the ripple effect is that most of our beneficiaries are paying it forward and reaching out also within their circle.
Monisola of Betharbel Foundation
Challenges
One major challenge has been finance, most of our projects have been self funded, with the little resources we have been able to do what we can. Another challenge has been getting stakeholders to align with what we do. Another challenge has been insecurity, we can no longer enter some communities freely, despite the fact that the people who need our intervention are in this communities, insecurity has limited our movement to this communities Another challenge has been the fact that we have not been able to get the right partnership and support to help improve and strengthen our work.
The list is endless but I would mention just three women who inspires me
– Esther Ijewere of Women of Rubies ,she inspires me. I have followed her closely for some time and I have watched her put smiles on the face of people particularly single moms ,despite been a single mom herself, she chose to be a blessing to other people around her, she is fearless and resilient, I also look forward to her daily affirmations and how those affirmations have been a been a blessing to many.
– Chidi Koldsweat of donors for Africa foundation is one woman who inspires me, her work in the development sector blows my mind ,how she impacts other non profits and helps them align their work appropriately is one aspect I salute her greatly for.
Another lovely women who inspires me is Dr. Adeola Olubamiji, she inspires me so much, she doesn’t even know me but I follow her closely, how she rose from nothing to becoming one of the 100 most influential women in Canada, and how she has helped others step up in their career .
What Government Should Do To Support IDPS
For me one major aspect the government should focus on is on education and empowerment such that these people can quickly be integrated back into the society. In the words of Nelson Mandela Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. If we must change the narrative and ensure the circle of insurgency is totally broken, The government should support the IDPs to get proper and quality education, they should not be neglected in any way. And for the adults empowerment and skills training to make them economically useful such that they can be integrated back into society.
What We Can Do Better As A Society To Educate Women On The Importance Of Leaving Abusive Marriages
We must keep speaking, we should share our stories, organize, sensitization and speak up campaigns, we must ignore the stigma that comes with walking away, no life is worth losing because of abuse, Every one must be ready to speak up against abuse and we should build a strong support system for victims and survivors. I recently shared my story on a blog and so many women spoke up because they read my story, when we speak up, it gives others the courage to do likewise
Our parents must be willing to nurture both genders appropriately, one should not become a slave because of marriage. There should be no shame in walking out of abuse, If it’s not working it is best to walk away alive than to die in abuse
I am unique and special, God’s prized possession ,and I trust God for everything, living my life one day at a time. I don’t see limitations as obstacles, I see them as stepping stones to the greater heights God has prepared for me.
Sex Education Tips For Parents
For me sex education should be introduced as early as possible I would suggest from age 3 and it should be age appropriate. For toddlers it can be taught as safe touch and unsafe touch and it can be taught as a poem, rhymes or song properly demonstrated. Body parts should be taught early and called the right names
Parents should have friendly conversations with adolescent constantly including discussions on sex education, and initiate discussions on body changes as puberty progresses and use it as an opportunity to discuss sex education. Parents should discuss self awareness and use it as an opportunity to discuss sex education and be very observant to know when children change or withdraw and should always be sensitive to listen to their children .
Mindfulness practice is one of my favorite type of meditation, perhaps because it’s easy, even for beginners. It is the act of combining awareness and concentration.
What is meditation?
Meditation is a technique used for thousands of years to develop awareness of the present moment. It can involve practices to sharpen focus and attention, connect to the body and breath, develop acceptance of difficult emotions, and even alter consciousness. It’s been shown to offer a number of physical and psychological benefits like stress reduction and improved immunity.
It doesn’t belong to any particular religion or faith. Though ancient in origin, it’s still practiced today in cultures all over the world to create a sense of peace, calm, and inner harmony. Meditation may offer a solution to the growing need to reduce stress in the midst of busy schedules and demanding lives.
Although there isn’t a right or wrong way to meditate, it’s important to find a practice that meets your needs.
I start with grounding, walking barefoot and feeling the earth under my feet, then I find a comfortable place to sit, and flow into breathing exercise to release stagnant air from my body.
Breathe in for 4 seconds, and exhale through the nose for 4 seconds. I do this 5×, then close my eyes and focus on my breath, while observing my body sensations, thoughts and feelings.
There are 8 other types of meditation. We practice at least 3 of it naturally but people don’t even know they are types of meditation.
8 other popular types of meditation practice according to Healthline
Spiritual: It focuses on developing a deeper understanding of spiritual/religious meaning and connection with a higher power.
Focused: Involves concentration using any of the five senses. For example, you can focus on something internal, like your breath, or you can bring in external influences to help focus your attention. Example includes, staring at a candle flame or counting your breath. It may be simple in theory, but it can be difficult for beginners to hold their focus for longer than a few minutes at first. If your mind does wander, simply come back to the practice and refocus. This practice is ideal for anyone who wants to sharpen their focus and attention.
Movement: This is an active form of meditation where the movement guides you into a deeper connection with your body and the present moment. Movement meditation is good for people who find peace in action and want to develop body awareness.
Mantra: This type of meditation uses a repetitive sound to clear the mind. It can be a word, phrase, or sound, one of the most common being “om.” , This is also a good practice for people who don’t like silence and enjoy repetition.
Transcendental: It was founded by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and refers to a specific practice designed to quiet the mind and induce a state of calm and peace. It involves the use of mantra and is best taught by a certified TM practitioner.
Progressive: This form of meditation involves slowly tightening and relaxing one muscle group at a time throughout the body. In some cases, it may also encourage you to imagine a gentle wave flowing through your body to help release any tension. This form of meditation is often used to relieve stress and unwind before bedtime
Loving-kindness: It is used to strengthen feelings of compassion, kindness, and acceptance toward oneself and others. It typically involves opening the mind to receive love from others and then sending well wishes to loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and all living beings. Because this type of meditation is intended to promote compassion and kindness, it may be ideal for those holding feelings of anger or resentment.
Visualization: It is a technique focused on enhancing feelings of relaxation, peace, and calmness by visualizing positive scenes, images, or figures. This practice involves imagining a scene vividly and using all five senses to add as much detail as possible. It can also involve holding a beloved or honored figure in mind with the intention of embodying their qualities.
Incase you woke up today feeling down and weary, or you probably lost your spark or the energy to keep pushing, I encourage you to try the mindfulness meditation, just make sure you release your soul from worry and anxiety before you start. You can also practice anyother one on the list to help you stay grounded.
The Lagos State Government has concluded plans to start a compulsory premarital counseling exercises for intending couples in its latest bid to prevent and eradicate domestic violence in marriage,
The plan was announced by the government during a one-day engagement program for the state’s marriage registrars, organized by the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence agency (DSVA) in conjunction with the Ministry of Local Government and Chieftaincy Affairs.
Kikelomo Sanyaolu, the permanent secretary for the ministry announced this as a measure to prevent domestic violence across the state. Mrs. Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi, the executive secretary of the DSVA expressed her concerns about the gap in professional pre-marital counseling in the country and how it could have prevented most of the domestic violence cases because over 60% of victims saw the signs before getting married and still went ahead no thanks to inadequate counsel.
The event which had notable facilitators like Tinuke Odukoya, the Executive Director, Center for women’s health and information, Mr. Oladele Emmanuel, Founder, Institute of marriage administrators and counselors of Nigeria also had in attendance Mr. Praise Fowowe of the Institute of Family Engineering and development who had worked closely with the state in designing the 8 module pre-marital counseling program.
Mr. Praise Fowowe shared a data driven approach to curbing domestic violence through effective pre-marital counseling sessions. He commended the Lagos State Government for this initiative and entertained questions from the registrars on the challenges they have been facing and how to resolve complex marital issues.
Mrs. Titilola Vivour- Adeniyi announced a 3 – day training for the registrars to introduce them to the curriculum and train them on how to facilitate effective pre-marital counseling.
The registers took time to express their gratitude to the State Government for this laudable initiative which will promote a healthy family life within the state and a peaceful society
Major Zharare becomes the first Zimbabwean to receive the prestigious United Nations Military Gender Advocate of the Year Award for her outstanding efforts to integrate gender perspectives into peacekeeping activities.
In 2006, she joined the Zimbabwe Defense Forces as a 2nd Lieutenant, determined to boost the participation of women in the predominantly male-dominated military sector. The same aim inspired her to seize the opportunity to join UN Peacekeeping in 2020. In November 2020, Major Zharare was deployed to the Bentiu field office for the United Nations Mission in South Sudan (UNMISS) as a Military Observer and Chief Military Information Officer.
Seeing firsthand how women are often excluded from decision-making, she immediately launched a plan to help empower them. Major Zharare promoted mixed-gender patrols to build trust, improve protection efforts, and boost community engagement.
She successfully brought together women and men from local communities to farm and build dikes together to alleviate food shortages and prevent further displacement.
She contributed to the increased production of gender-disaggregated data and advocated for gender parity within the mission. She made it a priority to ensure that local civilian and military authorities, as well as community representatives, involved both men and women in meetings with the UN.
Omobabinrin Adeola Osideko, a branding expert, social media influencer, and coach has taken to her Instagram page to express her displeasure on how people bully celebrities, public figures, and influencers for the kind of life they chose to live, saying they are misleading their followers.
She said “influencing is a huge responsibility because you become a role model to many of the people you influence (willingly or unwillingly). You because the lens through which many see the world, the yardstick which they use to measure right from wrong. This is something aspiring influencers should have in mind as they seek and work towards the highly coveted influencer title.
I understand and agree that public figures, influencers, and celebrities need to watch how they live their life as long as they are there in the public and have a lot of people looking up to them, but the plain truth is that we do NOT have control over how they live their lives. We only have control over how we allow them to influence us, who we choose to follow, and who we choose to make role models. We have control over a lot of other things but not HOW THEY SHOULD live their lives.
She said, “in my opinion, I think it is better we concentrate on what we have control over and leave what we do not have control over.”
Another thing she stated is that we should not expect perfection from these people because they are not angels or mini gods, nor are they semi-gods. They are like every other human out there with blood flowing in their veins.
Let them breathe, they did not choose to be your role model, you choose them. Enough of this witch-hunting going on the internet, people now subtly bully others by hiding under the guise of ‘and you call yourself a role model’. Pick what resonates with you about them and trash the rest, stop the bully “she said.
Adeola further explains that everyone should have a standard of life for themselves. “Nobody should be your standard except God, because even sometimes, our parents do not meet up with the standard of life we want, not to talk of strangers we meet on the internet”, she said.
She encouraged people to have a standard for themselves through spirituality and personal development and stop making social media influencers their standard because no human is infallible.
“Get your life together and stop looking for people to blame for your bad decisions. If good values have been instilled in you from home, then you will not be easily swept away by the glitz, glamour, fake life, or immorality of the so-called role models. There is no need to witch-hunt anyone, you choose them, they didn’t choose you, some are not even aware that you exist”, she continued.
Adeola also advised parents to train their children well.
“Instill good morals in them so that they are not easily swept off by the things on the internet,” she said.
She also mentioned people should not idolize them, “don’t make these people a mini-god, they should not be objects of worship. It’s okay to love them, appreciate them, cherish them, give them gifts (if you can), and support them, but don’t idolize them and stop digging up their past to use against them. This is simply manipulation and blackmail which is done by people with low self-esteem looking for cheap attention.”
We all have a past; we all have things we have done that we are not proud of, what makes you think these people are an exception? Don’t witch-hunt people for things they did in the past when they didn’t know better. Learn to make room for their inadequacies and don’t expect too much from them”, she said.
Adeola further debunked some myths that people have about influencers and celebrities.
“Do not think that these people are rich, and they MUST give you money. Forget the glitz and glamour, a lot are not as rich as you think and even if they are rich, nobody OWES you anything. Moreover, stop expecting them to give you free access. They owe no one free access to their inner chamber. If they have decided to keep their circle small so, be it. It’s not pride, it’s simply being wise and setting boundaries since they’re in the spotlight.
Finally, whoever you are following, you are following them at your own risk. Choose your ROLE MODELS wisely”, she continued.
At the end of the day, they will only live their lives the way it pleases them, even if we talk about it from now till tomorrow. The onus lies on us all to choose who we follow and how we allow them to influence us”, she concluded.
Dr. Adetoun Is an indispensable brand Resource using her multi-potentiality and excellent tools to build and strengthen individual and corporate brands. She is a multi-preneur, the MD of Prontotherapy, an offline/online based service provider where “on the spot” therapy is being rendered to individuals/corporate organizations via talk therapy sessions and suicide rates are minimized/completely erased. Advocacy for mental health. Prontotherapy deals with “The mind’’, ‘’Self-awareness”, “personal development and relationships.
She is also the founder of ‘‘EYINJU FOUNDATION’’, an NGO borne out of passion for mentoring/motivating/sensitizing younger ones who are being referred to as the ‘‘leaders of tomorrow’’ on the importance of being relevant/thriving in the society and generation as well as running a ‘FEED THE DESTITUTE’ bi-monthly program via the foundation. She also runs a successful travels and tourism business called TUSH TRAVELS AND TOURS.
The YALI network and American Psychology Association member has certifications in different courses. She shares her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere in this interview.
Childhood Influence
Not really. I am privileged to be the second of four children and we practically went through a lot from silver spoon to abject poverty before picking up back to average. Growing up for me was just there. I hawked a lot. It was from one problem to the other, one church to the other. Though prayer works! I was literally the “GOAT” in the house and was always in the black book for doing things….lol..aka certified trouble maker. But my troubles were for good.
Inspiration behind Prontotherapy and Eyinju Foundation?
Prontotherapy is a mental health firm with specialization on “THE MIND”, “SELF AWARENESS/PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT & “RELATIONSHIPS” and what inspired it was me wanting to help people in the little way I can stay sane regardless. A lot is happening in different homes, people are daily falling into abject poverty, depression, people are tired and contemplating suicide so I decided to contribute my own quota and leave the rest for God. With self awareness comes Self Discovery and when one discovers himself/herself, you would be able to leverage on your strengths whilst you work on your weaknesses. You will be able to put your gifts and abilities to good use instead of doing nothing and whining when you have a gold mine on the inside of you wasting away. God has deposited everything we need to be great in life on the inside of us, we just have to do our part by finding it and making good use of it to his glory. At Eyinju foundation, we sensitize young adults between the ages of 7-19years on Puberty, Talent discovery, Opposite Attraction, Self Love, Abuse of all kinds, Rape Prevention, Thriving in a negative environment, Emotional Intelligence. A lot of parents focus on book -book and book but refuse to understand that every child needs to have IQ ,EQ and SQ {Intelligent Quotient, Emotional Quotient and Social Quotient}. If it’s not at par or balanced then there is already a problem somewhere which will definitely affect the society sooner or later. Also the “FEED THE DESTITUTE” is just a bonus initiative we inculcated into THE EYINJU FOUNDATION.
Being a member of several organisations across the globe
I am really all about service to humanity, I started volunteering when I was 17 so serving humanity naturally became a part of me. It gives me a sense of Self Worth and it’s been an amazing ride all along even with challenges I encounter. I realize that we all can actually make a difference from any sphere of influence if only there’s a will. I don’t have to be the President of a club or organization before I can make a difference if truly I want to make a difference. I can always be a part of a sect that’s willing and then we get things done. It has impacted my life positively because I am someone who manages relationships well, I am very blunt to a fault. I know when to stop, and when to keep going. I have been able to define my “WHAT”, “WHY”, “WHEN”, “HOW” & “WITH WHOM” so I seldom have clashes with people or organizations.
The Journey so far
It’s not been easy, which is expected but it’s been enlightening and rewarding. When I do things for people who cannot reward me and THANK YOU is all they have, I feel like I have birthed a life…lol. God takes all the glory still because I am a sucker for Christ and I talk to him about everything and anything and he’s been the one helping me so far.
Ripple effect of training over 300,000 youths
Training that number of people in Nigeria, Ghana and Kenya is a privilege for me and I do not take it for granted. The feedback has been amazing and satisfying as it made me know that my team and I have not been working in futility. We have had people tap into their inner self to say “I am doing this because I can” and stick to it. With Eyinju, my inner caucus which consists of some destiny & purpose supporting friends, have been able to gather funds to sponsor about 36 SMEs, paid for WAEC for 63 Students and COMMON ENTRANCE EXAM of 12 Students. We have also been able to single-handedly pay for 18 people who need training on Sewing, Catering, Make-up respectively.
Challenges
Just like every other work in life, there will always be challenges. Instead of panicking, I simply take it to GOD in prayer and like the awesome GOD that he is, he always makes a way. MONEY is good and it’s a defense. When I newly started EYINJU FOUNDATION in 2017, I would practically take my salary from TUSH TRAVELS AND TOURS and use it to run projects in terms of Logistics, Accommodation, Feeding, Training Materials. I remember sometimes in 2019 when we needed money to pay for some projects we partnered with some organizations on, it was like two weeks to deadline and I began to panic so much that when I remember what’s to come, I have heart palpitations because they actually didn’t beg me to commit, I was the one who was moved by the spirit to. I kept praying and talking to people to solicit for funds. Everyone I spoke to promised to get back but help wasn’t forthcoming so I gave up when it was 48hrs to the deadline and as I was composing an email to send to them, I was shedding tears because at that moment, I felt like a failure…lol. I found myself in the situation of self loathing and went to bed only to wake up to something huge from a friend in the states and my joy could not be quantified, I was hyper all day and people noticed. lol
Another challenge I encounter in this line of work is rejection. Some people decline the help you want to render thinking we are diabolical and we will collect their destiny {the African belief syndrome} once they receive help from us. There was a time my team and I bought food and decided to share it with the community, some people rejected it and said they are not hungry…yinmu….you are not hungry in this slum? Issokay…lol. Some even think we are politicians when we go out for outreaches and we will have to explain ourselves over and over and over again till they understand we are for the people. Sometimes too we encounter language barriers but all in all, GOD has been faithful and we are grateful we are useful vessels.
Other projects and activities
We are still sticking with our: A. WAEC & COMMON ENTRANCE FEES PAYMENT for 20. B. FEED THE DESTITUTE {Bi-monthly}
A new project we recently took on is “PAD UP A GIRL” and the reason why I want to do this is because I realize that in 2022, some students still don’t have money for PAD and make use of tissue or cloth during menstruation which is so dangerous to their health. Some don’t even have an idea of what menstrual hygiene means….SAD!
I believe GOD will show up as usual because it is capital intensive and a few people I spoke to are already interested.
Why I love my job
I enjoy everything about everything I do from planning to execution because when I am on my own reminiscing about everything, I laugh and cry at the same time and I am just grateful that this small girl is doing good things for people.
3 women who inspire me and why
A lot of women inspire me to be honest but the striking ones are:
{i} DR KEMI DASILVA -IBRU -The founder of WOMEN AT RISK INTERNATIONAL FOUNDATION. I was very much aware when WARIF started in 2016 and I instantly fell in love with all what they stand for. I have an history of rape hence the reason I could relate with what they do and how they do it and the impact it would make and is making in the society. I was happy that a woman could dedicate her life and service to other people in order to save them and that made me fall in love with her though I haven’t been privilege to meet her on on one but I have been to their facility in Yaba thrice and I have referred countless people to them for help.
{ii} RACQUEL KASHAM DANIEL: Racquel is an amazing personality is all I can say and what she’s doing for people and community is simply commendable. I met her on the day of her engagement and we have kept in touch since then.
{iii} EJIRO OSAKEDE : She was one of the people who trained me on Public speaking in Dec 2014 at Pro-Emcee Academy and I have followed her bumper to bumper…lol. Even when she did an outreach in Ghana and hosted us, she was so supportive, always pushing the narrative “YOU HAVE A VOICE, USE IT” . She is an advocate for hope, she spreads the message like butter on a bread..lol
Volunteering for several organisations and my passion for community service
I have been volunteering since I was 17yrs so it has become part of me. When I have free time, I make use of it to serve other people. Life is all about give and take. What you give, the universe multiplies it and brings it back to you in multiple folds so people need to be careful and watch what they give. Community service is what people need to commit to because if we don’t take care of what and who is around us, it will still come back to haunt us in ways we won’t envisage.
What can the Government do to support stakeholders in the GBV sector
If the government wants to be fully involved in this GBV of a thing , they should:
{A} Provide more Shelters and Care Centres for Survivors
{B} Increase the capacity of Police to deal with crimes of Gender Based Violence
{C} Challenge the normalization of violence against women and children
{D} Challenge gender stereotype and roles
{E} Challenge sexist jokes and remarks about women
{F} Support training and employment program for women
What we can do better as a society to educate women on the importance of leaving abusive marriages
A lot of women need a Mindset Paradigm. Many were raised for husband house, meaning they were raised for men and to please men so instead of acknowledging the fact that they are a person who needs to discover her womanhood and strengths and blossom as an entity, they would rather have a man be their Alpha and Omega forgetting it takes two to tangle and each person’s duty in the home can never be substituted. So when they experience DV, they find it hard to leave their abusers because most of them see their abusers as their benefactor, some also don’t leave due to “FEAR OF MISSING OUT”, “FEAR OF OPPOSITION” & “STIGMATIZATION”. When they go through Self Awareness and Personal Development training which is one of my expertise, they become more informed and can make their decision from there.
One thing you could change in the advocacy and development sector
Develop a grassroot strategy with focus on building relationships
Being a Woman of Rubies
I am a Woman of Rubies because all the times the gemstone occurred in the bible, it was associated with attributes of Wisdom and Beauty which I am damn sure I have…looooooooool. I can also boldly call myself a woman of rubies because I have a unique and specific purpose for which I was created which keeps unfolding in bits as I keep growing. It’s so amazing having to be a convener of hope and tranquility to people and I do not take that privilege for granted at all. Ruby is known to increase creativity, spirituality, confidence and wisdom and all these are what I stand for gidigba..lol
Media practitioner and author, Tosin Ajibade-Oladeinde on Friday, June 24, 2022 successfully hosted the New Media Conference School Debate at Chalcedony School, Abijo G.R.A, Ibeju-Lekki. This year’s edition is themed ‘Does Social Media Enrich Education or take away from Education?’
The event featured award-winning Nigerian dancer and choreographer Kaffy Shafau, award-winning Tiktoker Rodney Umeh, and Communications Manager for Anglophone West Africa at Meta, Sola Obagbemi.
The students between year nine and eleven in their arguments emphasized on the importance of social media and how the excessive use of it can be curbed. Some of the points argued during the debate include; cyber bullying, adult content, fake news dissemination, plagiarism, social media control mechanism among others.
Speaking at the event, Kaffy advised the students to always make sure they take advantage of the social media platforms in a positive way. She added that “social media is a tool and you’re the driver, adding that the good the bad will always exist but who is behind the keyboard is what matters.”
Sola Obagbemi admonished the children to be good ambassadors irrespective of the social media they use. She said children should learn to make use of social to benefit them in the area education, and self improvement.
The organizer of the event, Oluwatosin Ajibade-Oladeinde in her remarks thanked the host school, the panelists and the students for making it a success. She further assures that she would continue to do her best to sensitize and educate children about the use of new media.
Prizes were awarded to groups of student who came first and second while each student at the venue got a copy of the book ‘Olori Supergal from Social Misfit to Social Media Hero’ written by Tosin Ajibade and Alajota by Kafayat ‘Kaffy’Shafau.
NMC is an annual networking event that focuses on digital marketers, vloggers, podcasters, influencers, content creators, bloggers, tech enthusiasts, and more in the field of media and communications.
