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DISCOVER YOURSELF BEFORE YOU SAY YES TO A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL – FAVOUR OSIRI WISDOM

Favour Osiri Wisdom is an encourager, a certified marriage and relationship mentor with The Institute of Marriage and Family Affairs USA. A certified negotiation and conflict analysis expert with (USIP). United States Institute for Peace. She is the coordinator of the foremost marriage academy in the south south region of Nigeria;The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy in the city of Port Harcourt which equips both married and intending marriage couples to acquire skills to build the marriage of their dreams.

Favour is passionate about women and girls. Having suffered so much under intense poverty growing up as the first child amongst seven children. She founded the Model Woman Foundation in 2016 where she mentors weekly organizing online seminars. She and her Pastor husband are presenters of a weekly relationship show called “For better for us” on Facebook . She recently authored two books tilted How Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T and Before You Marry.

Favour believes her background cannot keep her back on the ground and she is determined to help restore more homes. She shares her story in this inspiring and educative interview.

Childhood

My childhood is full of interesting events that have shaped me into the woman I am today. I didn’t have luxury growing up so being the first child amongst 7 children; my mind was constantly processing on what next to do to make money.  I learnt how to braid hair at age 10 and every Christmas season I made money from braiding hair   I wanted to go to school at all cost because at that time I was going to be the first graduate in my compound ( both in my maternal and paternal home) .The poverty around me was just too much, I sold oranges during its season, I was involved in the “bole” business (roasted fish and plantain) which I inherited from my mother. I ran a bukka joint in a mechanic garage at age 19. In 1998 I went to NYSC orientation camp in the city where I lived at that time to do food business. When I saw the corp members come to buy food from my stand, I remember weeping one day because I wanted to be like them. I thank God I later saved up money from my mechanic garage food business to buy forms into the Polytechnic and went on to become the first graduate in my family (maternal and paternal) with many other degrees.  All of these experiences are instrumental to what I do now which is to encourage and stir women around me to rise up

Inspiration behind The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy and The Model woman foundation 

We relocated to Portharcourt in 2013 to start a church ministry and much later started a weekly show on radio called “Family Matters” Nigeria Info PH 92.3 every Monday 2pm to 3pm

The vision for the radio show was to help marriages and those intending to marry with the wisdom that has helped us because at a point in our marriage, we went through turbulent times. We thought the devil had relocated to our home but as we researched more we found out it wasn’t the devil; it was deep ignorance of the skills to do marriage that we lacked. So as we shared these tips on radio, the counseling issues in our office weekly increased. We went into more research, got professional training then we decided to set up the marriage academy to proactively address marital issues. This is because there are issues that 30 mins counseling cannot handle, it will require an entire program to unlearn, learn, re-learn. The wisdom driven marriage academy kicked off in 2016 and has brought illumination to a lot of singles and married couples. The testimonies are amazing.

The Modelwoman foundation is my gift to womanhood. It was founded in 2016. I am an encourager so I never fail to shamelessly use myself as an example of a woman who dare to excel against all odds I could speak to someone for hours with the intent to make sure they move to another level. I was doing this with women around me and I saw them began to soar and felt I could reach more women globally using technology so in 2016, we started on whatsapp with few women and today we are grateful. We now hold an online conference tagged “The Complete woman Conference and a live conference tagged “Ignite”

My books; how Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T & Before You Marry

How not to marry an I.D.I.O.T came as a result of my personal experience of manifesting these traits in the past and my interaction with intending couples and married couples alike. I have seen people marry with all the red flags telling them not to and the marriage breaks after few months. Some people also think marriage does not require skills but it does seriously. In fact it is the most skilled intensive venture I know because you are dealing with the emotions and destiny of people. I.D.I.O.T is an acronym for traits which are red flags telling you not to continue with the relationship. People with Idiotic attitude are not ready to learn, they want to do marriage the way they like. A lot of marriages are going through pain because of these Idiotic attitudes. The beautiful thing about the book is that it proffers solution on how to overcome these traits as a single or married person and gives you a step by step approach to end a forever idiotic relationship.

Before You Marry is a compilation of 50 things (There might be more) to consider before you marry. The book is to help intending couples with some of the relevant questions and discussions they need to have before they walk the aisle we live in the age where people see marriage as the next thing to check on their list without asking relevant questions. Questions reveal a lot of things. An example is having a discussion on the possibility of adoption where there is delay in child bearing. These questions and discussions brings clarity in the marriage.

Impact of Model Woman

 The modelwoman foundation has been a blessing to a lot of women. Most of these women I have never met because 90% of our engagement is online. The vision of the foundation is to build excellent legacies so we deployed the strategy of pray and learn. Weekly we pray and organize seminar sessions addressing different issues. We have testimonies of over 60 women who have started new businesses in the group, women who had no idea on what business to start when they joined us, we have marriages restored through the seminars in the group, we have women discovering their purpose and pursuing them. We have women who have been spiritually revived, the sessions on parenting was life transforming for the women. we have single mums, divorcees in our midst whose self esteem has been restored and are doing so well. We have ladies who were so deep into being side chic to married men end the relationships and turned a new leaf, we have married women involved in illicit relationships end the relationships and became purpose driven. We also have weekly diverse testimonies of changed lives in the the foundation. We have a project called ‘Value driven Life Project for secondary schools. The project is to impact the students with soft skills to make informed decisions about their lives and to make them aware they are valuable.  Recently we had an amazing outing on Valentine’s Day titled SEX IS NOT LOVE. We had students who planned to break their virginity as a mark of love come to us willingly seeking for help which we have followed up..

The wsidom driven marriage has impacted a lot of singles and married couples. The “Save Your marriage program” which is an intensive 8weeks program for deeply troubled marriages have revived and saved marriages on the verge of divorce.  We have seen singles quit relationships because they suddenlyfound out that even though the relationship looks good to them, it may not be good to them.

Challenges

I work with women mostly, the challenge has been the limiting mindset where some of them believe they cant get to certain heights because of their gender. Another challenge is some people think getting married is the next thing to be checked on their list without adequately preparing for marriage. They prepare for wedding and not  marriage. Just like flying a plaane requires skills, marriage, even relationship in the work place requires skills else the marriaage will crash like a plane manned by an ignorant person. Some couples are excited and working hard ontheir marriage, it is not that they have not had issues, they were only equipped with tools to handle even challenging seasons in their marriage.  

Other project and activities

Because I have a passion for women, I also want them to pass the same passion to their daughters so we have the Mum and Daughter Ball (MDB) which is aimed at creating that intentional bonding relationship. The maiden edition will hold this year. I also have a project for single mums and single dads which will come up before the end of this year. The big one is the Wisdom driven marriage retreat and resorts. A place for couples to unwind and bond.

Reward

The testimonies of changed lives. One incident is a single lady who has been in a relationship with a married man for many years and depended on him for financial assistance. She told me she had always wanted to end the relationship but couldn’t because of the financial assistance she was getting. Through the sessions on the modelwoman platform, she was able to break free and has an amazing life today working and making a living. So my greatest rewards are women who have found themselves and are unapologetically living their best lives.

On the cause of broken marriages lately

Ignorance is a big issue. I am a firm believer that whatever you are not skilled in, you will kill and if you keep doing it for a long time, it can kill you.. People go to different schools to acquire knowledge in different fields and that’s why they do well. Some even specialize. For example I cannot fly a plane no matter how passionate I am because I do not have the skills. Also marriage requires skills. Communication skills, negotiations skills, parenting skills, financial skills and many other skills to build a solid marriage.. These skills are supposed to be acquired pre and post wedding. Most pre-marital counseling curriculum are not updated to even handle today’s peculiar challenges. When these skills are lacking, marital frustrations begins to set it. Another reason for broken marriages is that the impatience level today is very short especially with technology where everything is fast. Many people want it fast and are not ready to be patient.. Another example is when you do not recognize that the spouse you married 20 years ago has changed and you also need to change.( change here means growth)

To women who are about to get married

Ans: Discover yourself before you say yes to a marriage proposal. Your purpose in life will guide your choice. Be economically empowered. Go  into marriage as an asset not a liability. Be equipped with the skills and ensure your would be husband does same. Do not give in to pressure to marry anyone just because everyone around you is getting married. You will stand alone when the heat comes as those who pressured you will be no where to be found.  Give the relationship time. Ask questions. Because I am a Christian and believe that God ordained marriage, I will encourage that women talk to God about their proposed spouse or marriage. Also don’t be carried away by emotions, ensure both of you are agreeable.

My Inspiration

My husband is my number one inspiration and cheer leader. The way he handles pressures and responds when there is a challenge is inspiring. My 3 wise children constantly push me to study because of the enormous potential they carry. Every day I want to become a better parent who will continually unleash their potential for them to impact their world.

Being a woman of Rubies

  Wow! I decided long ago I was going to make a positive mark on every woman I meet. So intentionally mentoring them and ensuring they follow the process to make progress is what I think makes me a woman of rubies. When we as women collaborate and not compete we will achieve so much because value is in people not places. God has trapped what we need in relationships. Having the skills to find and nurture these relationships as women will make life so easy. So I must commend Women of Rubies for what they are doing by celebrating women. That’s the spirit!

Final words of advice for women all over the world

Lookout for other women in your community, office, neighborhood. Collaborate, don’t compete. Aspire to the highest level God has designed for you. Don’t think because you are a woman you are inferior; you are the express image of God. Learn from other women. Celebrate a sister whose time of shinning has come and you will attract same

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NASILELE MUYANDI: PEARLS AROUND MY NECK (VALUE OF A WOMAN)

I once went to cosmopolitan shopping mall in my home town, in Lusaka Zambia, and as I
was window shopping, I stopped to look at jewellery in the American Swiss store, and while
in the store, my attention was caught by a pair of beautiful pearls and a necklace, my eyes
wide open and face glowing, all I thought of was “I need to get these”. I turned to the store
attendant to confirm the price I was looking at, (seemed expensive to me) and with a smile
she looked at me and said,” yes it is K5, 000($ 500).I smiled and said thank you, as I was
about to walk out the store, she said the value of pearls is like that of a woman, rare but well
deserved.

I walked away with a smile, but her words made a statement to my spirit. It brought me to
the realization of a woman’s true worth ,How it is mostly, underestimated, over looked,
taken for granted ,(even by herself),just as I thought the price of those pearls would have
been. Today ,many of us do not only know, but don’t realize the value that comes with being
a woman, Many today don’t realize that the value they carry can change not only their lives,
but our world, and that with our diverse values, color, stature, zeal and caliber, the value of
the pearls around your neck remains the same, as a woman, accept who and what you are
,and work towards preserving and improving that, if we as women value our worth, we will
create a platform for the opposite sex, and the feminist fighting for our voice to be heard. A
platform where a woman will be accepted as strong, intelligent, a decision maker, a worthy
human being to be heard, to be taken seriously, and for all this to come to reality, we need
as women to realize the our worth, we need to realize that we are deserving of rare pearls,
and because we are rare, our uniqueness stretches beyond clothes, weaves and designer shoes.

Ladies the value of pearls will never vary depending on the environment, whether
you are the richest woman on earth or an average woman, the pearls around your neck
have the same value, we should not be defined by society, by the environment around us,
nor the voices that constantly speak less of who we are. Pearls are preserved, they are
guarded jealously, and as women, we need to preserve our character even at the point we
fight for our rights, we need to constantly improve our selves through knowledge, upgrading
our skills, research and making sure we are well acquainted with our environments and see
where a hand is needed, and see where a voice is to be heard. Lastly, the value we have
within is and can be the push needed by another woman, a hand and support given to a
fellow woman will not reduce your worth and value, but rather improve your character and
there will be an increase in the number of confident women.

We all are deserving women.

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

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GRACE ORISAKIYA: TEAMING UP IN A RELATIONSHIP

No man is an island of his own, there will be times you will need people’s contributions, opinions and help. Working together with people has been useful in different circumstances and has contributed to productivity and time management. Team work is essential in the organization and management of tasks. Team work isn’t confined to the corporate world, you could have teams in schools, religious gatherings and some couples even consider their relationship or family a team. When managed properly, there will be a positive impact on the team goals and its members. Have you ever been friends with someone and one day you get to know people are being selected for different teams and you wish to be in the same team as your friend. After a while you hear you names announced under the same team, if this were you, how would you feel? Teamwork can contribute to having a higher sense of purpose with its members. This article will concentrate on how a relationship/marriage can be seen as a team. Some factors that shouldn’t be ignored when building a team includes;

A common goal-

Without a common goal and interest, it is considered a group. A team is usually formed with the desire to achieve a particular goal and all members of the team will be interested in accomplishing this goal. For instance if you consider your relationship a team and decide to achieve a common goal which is ultimately to build a future together, you both should make it your priority, talk about it and plan to make it achievable.

Compatibility –

Two or more people can’t work together if there is no compatibility. I don’t just mean in personalities, you might not have compatible interest or future plans. Although some won’t mind as long as they ‘love’ each other but how sustainable can love be when faced with issues that could have been avoided? Being realistic about your compatibility is huge step in becoming a team.

Team size

A team consists of people with a shared goal, since this article addresses relationships becoming a team, it should consist of TWO individuals who love each other, have the desire to build a future together not Two individuals and some people by the side. If you wish to include your children, that is totally fine as long as the size is restricted to your family. Being in a relationship and having others by the side destroys trust, respect and the overall purpose of the team. Being committed to your partner is of essence in becoming a team.

Shared task –

Like any other team, a relationship team should have shared task. This can be developed or identified by recognizing each other’s strengths. What are you good at? How will the bills be shared? Who will take the children to school in the morning? Who will pick them up? And so on. It is important to discuss tasks that should be performed, failure to do so might lead to expectations and disappointments.

Conflict management –

As long as two people are involved, there will be disagreements. How do you plan to manage conflict? What’s you apology strategy? What can you do to make things better. Don’t assume that there won’t be conflict as this is considered failing to prepare or assume that there should always be conflict as this is considered preparing to fail. Sometimes conflict can be avoided when there’s understanding in the relationship and when it occurs, the ability to resolve quickly depends on how you are willing to make it work.

A leader –

First of all, I believe everyone should do what they are comfortable with. Some believe men are the leaders or head of a relationship/ home while others believe both people in the relationship are leaders. In my opinion, my husband being the leader doesn’t make me a weaker member of the team. It has been that way right from our dating phase. Let’s face it, What are the qualities of a leader? They should be willing to communicate, guide, direct, listen, give constructive feedback and so on. A leader sometimes may need assistance in taking a decision and he will consult his team member. That goes to show how much he’s interested in your opinion.

In summary, making your relationship/ marriage a team requires commitment, understanding and a common goal.

 

About Grace

Grace Asemota is a Business Psychologist (M.Sc) and a Certified Life Coach. She has partnered with Organizations and solopreneurs to grow their personal and professional brands and has coached students and staff in different institutions and organisations.

She continuously coaches and trains on the importance of goal setting, happiness,personal development and self- confidence in a wide range of organisations and institutions by motivating staff to develop a collaborative culture and identify key factors that can enhance personal growth.

You can follow her on

LinkedIn @Grace Asemota-Orisakiya

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JANE UDOKA: THE IDEAL WOMAN: THE IDEAL SERIES

All over the world, there are diverse ways an ideal woman is looked upon. Some countries or tribes judge this based on the ethnicity, the looks, the moral disposition, social nature of a woman. Some however even judge this idealism based on trivial things such as her body size, her feminine curves, her sensuality, her height, accent or even the way she walks.  It’s funny and inconsequential but the world has placed insanely high standards on women that some find it quite hard to come to terms and be happy with whom they are.

To us however, these are the standards by which an ideal woman should be measured :

An Ideal woman is an independent woman, she is a woman who is capable of taking care of her emotions, her duties, herself and people who depend on her. She is someone who does not manipulate people around her to do her wishes but instead takes the bull heads on and achieves the task needed. She is a goal getter, a trend setter and one who does not shy away from duties no matter the sexual barriers that are attached to it. She is one that’s able to put sentiments aside and forge ahead with the right things.

An Ideal woman is a purposeful and creative lady, she is a lady with a purpose. She is a career oriented woman with set goals. She is one who sleeps at night and wakes up with a refreshed and energized spirit to fight for her dreams. She is one who does not conform to the world’s standards for good, but seeks to become better with each passing day.

The Ideal woman is a motivator and helper to people around her. She is one who motivates and encourages people around her. If she is in a relationship, or married, she is one who’s not just there in favorable times but even in the gloomy days. She is one who understands and is ready to help whenever and however she can. She is a loyal woman.

Our ideal woman is one who understands that her worth isn’t just defined by her sex. If she is married she is one who knows that motherhood isn’t her totality but also an added role she plays. She is one who focuses on being the best mother and also the career woman she is. She is one who does not accept the people’s definition of a good woman but goes ahead to create her own version of it.

Our Ideal woman is the confident lady.  She is one who is extremely comfortable in her own skin. She is one who is not intimidated by what the world throws at her but takes it and makes the best out of it. She  is one who is not deterred by her failures but rather sees it as a chance to becoming better. She is one who revels in her capabilities and pulls up those all around her . She  is the hard working woman.

 

Photocredit: Google

About Jane

21 year old Udoka Jane O is a trained  Engineer, She is  a professional freelance writer on Relationship and healthy lifestyles. Jane has written a number of mind engaging articles….
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OLUFUNKE ADEBAYO: FERMENTED FOODS

I actually did not know that foods that have gone through fermentation are powerhouses of nutrients until my father shared a research done on locust beans (Irú) with me. He said  that locust beans was spread on some cancer tissues and the locust beans killed all the cancer cells!  Apart from killing cancer cells, locust beans also promotes good eyesight, aids digestion, the water and alcoholic extracts of fermented locust beans are used to reduce blood sugar. Locust bean does more  but it’s so unfortunate that most of us hate this wonder food.
Fermented foods are foods that have been through a process of lactofermentation  in which natural bacteria feed on the sugar and starch in the food creating lactic acid. This process preserves the food and creates beneficial enzymes, b-vitamins, Omega-3 fatty acids, and various strains of probiotics.
Some foods are not safe for human consumption; it is only through fermentation that the plant toxins in them are removed  and it is this process that brings out the best in such foods. A good example of this is soyabeans . It is less harmful when fermented. The Japanese  eat Miso, Tempeh, Natto and Tofu which are all made by  fermenting soyabeans. Now, guess what? When it comes to living healthy and long lives, the Japanese are good in that department!  If you still take soya milk, I advise that you try to be fermenting it before drinking or, better still, use your soyabeans to make soya locust beans .
Fermentation has also been shown to preserve nutrients in foods and break the food down to a more digestible form. This, along with the bevy of probiotics created during the fermentation process, could explain the link between consumption of fermented foods and improved digestion.
Apple cider vinegar is  also a good example. It is made from fermented apple. It is loaded with a lot of health benefits.  Women who have  met me for their menses to be induced naturally would  testify  to the fact that this wonder drink is  part of the treatment.
Yogurt is  another fermented food. It is made by adding bacterial cultures to milk, transforming the milk sugar, lactose, into lactic acid. Here is why yogurt is better than milk.  As a matter of fact, it is healthier to take yogurt than milk because, like I have discussed before, the cows that produce the milk we drink are given hormonal injections so that they can produce more milk and also become fleshy on time. While we take milk, we ingest all those hormones too!  Fermentation reduces all these. However, not all brands of yogurt are healthy; some have preservatives and that is why they have a long shelf life. This is why I advise people to make their yogurt at home. I know a particular brand that has a shelf life of three weeks  because it doesn’t have any preservatives.  It is made here in Nigeria. I can be consulted to give the name.
Besides the fact that they taste great , there are several great reasons to start making and eating fermented foods:
 1. Eating fermented foods will introduce beneficial bacteria into your digestive system and help the balance of bacteria in the system. Probiotics have also been shown to help slow or reverse some diseases, improve bowel health, aid digestion, and improve immunity!
2. Having the proper balance of gut bacteria and enough digestive enzymes helps you absorb more of the nutrients in the foods you eat. Pair this with your healthy food diet, and you will absorb many more nutrients from the foods you eat. You won’t need as many supplements and vitamins, and you’ll be absorbing more of the live nutrients in your foods.
3. Incorporating healthy foods into your diet can get expensive, but not so with fermented foods. You can make them at home. Adding these things to your diet can also cut down on the number of supplements you need, helping the budget further.
4 Fermentation allows you to store these foods for longer periods of time without losing the nutrients like you would with traditional canning.
5. Fermentation brings out some amazing health benefits in foods.
6. Fermentation removes anti-nutrients from foods .
So, when next locust bean is added to your soup, I want you all to eat with so much relish. In fact, you can eat it raw without adding to soups!
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ENITAN FACOS : 4 HABITS THAT MAY ACTUALLY BE SECRET ADDICTIONS

You call it a habit, they call it an addiction. There seems to be a fine line that separates the two. Knowing the difference between habits, compulsions, and addictions can help you in making much-needed changes in your life.

Here are 4 strange addictions that you often mistake for habits:

Checking your Phone

Cell phone addiction is getting worse.

So many people are addicted to technology. It is common to see a family of four sitting at a table in a restaurant and all four of them looking at their own technological device. Technology is slowly taking away the “social” out of “social events”. Facebook has taken technology addiction to a whole new level. Technology addictions have become so prominent that researchers have created a Facebook addiction scale.

It is time we, as a society, start learning how to limit our time with technology and especially our time on websites such as Facebook. It is like one big webpage full of gossip, which happens to be another addiction a person can have.

READ ALSO : MEET FATOUMATA BA, THE 29YR OLD WOMAN WHO FOUNDED JUMIA.COM

Seeking attention

Some researchers call attention seeking addiction narcissism or attention validation addiction. There are different types of attention seekers: the sufferer, the saviour, the rescuer, organizer, manipulator, mind-poisoner, drama queen, busy bee, false confessor, abused, online victim, victim,

All of these kinds of attention seekers are a real drag to be around. But it is like they can’t help themselves. They can’t stop making themselves the center of attention no matter how many times they been talked to or coached.

On some level, their behavior gives them a sense of pleasure and they have gotten a response from others that made them feel good. I know, it sounds weird; a negative behavior gives them a positive feeling.

But that’s very similar to using drugs or alcohol, right? So they continue to seek attention in negative ways, and they don’t understand why they can’t keep friends for a long period of time.

Watching TV and playing video games

Television and video games seem harmless. In fact, most people see television and gaming systems as relaxing things to do at the end of a long day.

But, there is a downside to watching too much television and playing video games for a long period of time, you can even become addicted to it. This happens because you create a habit that revolves around television and video games and those habits can turn into addictions.

If so, you may want to make a few changes in your daily routine so that you can break addictive patterns.

Gossiping

There are many reasons we gossip. In a selfish way, gossip makes us feel better about ourselves, and at least, for a moment, it tells us we’re not the only ones on this planet with problems. It becomes an escape from our own reality. However, there is a dark side to gossiping.

Gossiping can become addictive for similar reasons we become addicted to other things. Gossip is associated with entertainment and pleasure, according to some research. This is not good since most gossip is negative.

 

 

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QUEEN ESOHE IGBINOBA: 4 STEPS TO TELLING GREAT STORIES THAT RESONATE WITH YOUR AUDIENCE

I once asked a group of entrepreneurs ‘’why do you tell stories?’’

I got the following responses.

I tell stories for:

Clarity, sharing of insights and my life lessons

To inspire/encourage

Connect with someone

Brand awareness – more people need to know about my brand

More eyeballs = more prospects = more sales

I’ll be seen in the right light, by the right people at the right time

Why these reasons are great, they may not give you the result you need as an influential storyteller or entrepreneur.

They are good reasons to tell a good story, however, there are 4 important steps you need to take to telling great stories that resonate.

  1. Find the people who have the same worldviews as you do

What do I mean by that?

Worldviews refer to people’s perspectives or beliefs on different life issues.

You need to find the people who share the same perspective or belief about your subject matter.

  1. Find people with a bias to listen to you

Beyond finding people with similar beliefs, find people with a bias to listen to you.

People interested in listening to your message and falling in love with your brand and your stories.

Why do you need to do that?

You need to do that so you can share stories that resonate deeply with them and inspire them to take massive action.

For my brand, I focus on attracting new entrepreneurs who love stories, understand the power of stories and are willing to learn to tell better stories so they can attract more of the right audience to their stories and grow their business.

  1. Be clear about who your audience is and why they would listen to you

You should also ask yourself who exactly is my audience and why would they listen to me?

Understanding who your audience is helps you determine how you will communicate your stories to them, what mediums you will use and how frequently you will engage with them.

  1. Be clear about where you will find them

Another thing you need to know is how to find them.

How do you find these people?

Get clear about the kind of people who need your message and stories

Find out where they congregate online and offline

Find out the issues or topics they are very passionate about

Find out what common problems and experiences they have

Find out what common result they seek

Most importantly get clear about the kind of customers you do and don’t want to attract.

Beyond knowing these 4 steps, ensure you implement them so you can start seeing results in your business.

Remember, good things happen to those who take massive action.

 

About Esohe

Esohe Igbinoba is the Founder, The Global Brand Network. GBN is a brand management organization with a focus on teaching entrepreneurs the art of influential storytelling for attracting visibility and building an engaged audience so they can build profitable businesses. She helps them to achieve this through her unique system: The Influential Storytelling Formula. She has helped over 150 people in 10 countries. She helps them through her online school, GBN Business School where she offers one on one coaching programs, online courses and training programs.

You can connect with her on Social media @queenesohe

Or send an email to esohe@queenesohe.com

Or on her website queenesohe.com

 

 

 

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ESTHER IJEWERE WINS SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR OF THE YEAR AWARD

On Saturday November 25th , 2018 The Eloy awards held the 10th edition of it’s prestigious award ceremony and Esther Ijewere, founder of Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children and Editor-In-Chief of Multiple award winning blog Women of Rubies won the Social Entrepreneur award, for her selflessness and contribution towards the empowerment of women both at the grassroots and social level.

While she was unable to attend the epoch making event, Esther was well represented by her Mentee Lordwilliams Gusi Tobby of Girlhub Africa, who gave an outstanding speech on behalf of her Mentor and also congratulated other Nominees.

Reacting to the award, Esther took to her social media page to show her appreciation;

“Thank you Jesus for yet another award! Who am I? Nothing but pencil before you Heavenly father … absolutely Nothing!

Just a young girl whose life is a movement she barely can understand.

I dedicate this Award to my Mom! Mummy I never reach where I dey go o but this is for you! For bringing me to the world against all odds and always standing by me through thick and thin… I owe you so much Mama!!!

To everyone that voted for me, May God honour you all, I appreciate you for your love and constant support! We won!!!

Our beautiful Queens at Women of Rubies You guys rock! Thanks for making it all worth it

Thanks to my wonderful team, this is our Win guys! Yes! We did it.

Thanks for picking yet another award for me my ever supportive mentee and aburo Lordwilliams Tobby. I appreciate you!

To Tewa Onasanya and the @eloyawards team, I Stan you. May God bless the work of your hands. Thanks for counting me worthy

Thank you Jesus, for this, that and everything! I remain Loyal

This is Esther’s second award this year, it will be recalled that the social entrepreneur won the “Humanitarian of the year award” at the D&K Soumi awards back in August.

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In self development By

“MY HUSBAND ENCOURAGED ME TO START MY JUICE COMPANY” – TEMILOLUWA BALOGUN

Temiloluwa Balogun is fulfilling that dream by following her passion by changing the narrative unhealthy food consumption, She is the CEO of DawnJuice, a fast rising organic fruit juice and smoothies company in Nigeria. The young budding entrepreneur earned her degree in Microbiology from Olabisi Onabanjo University. Temi is strong advocate for healthy lifestyle. She continues to promote healthy living and lifestyle by carefully creating recipes to meet her family and clientele demands; encourages young people—especially women to choose healthy meal options.

She has supported and partnered with several organizations to drive the message of healthy lifestyle home , while she also runs her beauty and lifestyle outfit MO’s Crib Ventures on the side to further help women with their day to day lifestyle as it relates to beauty and make-up.

Temiloluwa who is happily married with children is also a certified Air hostess , In her words “ If I wasn’t into Juice business , I would have been a very successful air hostess because I commit myself to everything I do and give it my all”.

She shares her story with Esther Ijewere in this interview and shed more light on the need to eat and stay healthy.

Childhood Influence

I wouldn’t say Yes or No. But, all I can relate is that the church we attended back then fruits was always the order of the day,invariably I got introduced and exposed to fruits very early in life in varieties.

Meet Temi

A mother of three, who loves caring for her home. An entrepreneur and business woman who owns both Mo’s Crib and Dawn Juice (beauty and healthy lifestyle). I love caring for people around me, love togetherness, working with my team especially in areas of support and supervision. I’m very hardworking, humble, fun person, down to earth, takes responsibility and shares authority amongst workers accordingly. Happy to protect and serve her home, the people around her and give back to the society.

Inspiration behind Dawn Juice

I got inspired by a handful of thoughts, just to mention a few; I recall that fast foods and drinks was the order of the day for my generation while growing up. It was trendy and a breakaway from the normal home food making. Little did we know that like everything it has its own side effects. I wanted to change the narrative, and that’s where the inspiration for Dawn juice came from, I started with my immediate family and friends , moreso the society needs more awareness about living, eating and staying healthy, so since eating is one of the behavioral functions of humans for living, what goes into the esophagus should be healthy and 100% clean, organic and fresh. Our products are from natural fruit and vegetables contains no artificial preservative or additives which guarantees healthy lifestyle. To help the World in reducing sickness and diseases resulting from unhealthy eating and passing the healthy lifestyle culture to the incoming generation.

Challenges of running Dawn Juice

Dawnjuice deals with fresh, organic farm produce which are personally sorted for in a good state. The most dreadful challenge is when the fruits all get spoilt/rotten before used or when already processed and bottled up for sales and been kept in the fridge but the generator or fridge and or PHCN decides to give up at the same time and it all gets sour. It’s heart breaking and no juicing company wants to experience it. Luckily, we have been able to adjust by not relying solely on PHCN but also solar electricity

Another challenge is trying to change the narrative by breaking the cycle of unhealthy food, apparently most people are used to that, it’s also challenging that prospective buyers are always skeptical about the content of healthy drinks either because of previous experience with other brands or out of fear Thankfully, three of our products are NAFDAC approved, so quality is always guaranteed.

Another bottleneck is pricing. Most people may find it convenient to buy a N100 or N200 unhealthy drink than to buy a N600 to N1000 healthy drinks- juice or smoothies of the same Litres.

Cost of business in Lagos is quite high, ranging from electricity bills, transportation, licensing etc. this will definitely affect the price. However, we have worked so hard to keep the overhead costs so low while maintaining its quality recipe that the pricing is almost equivalent to do-it-yourself cost at home

Plans to hold a walk

Dawnjuice is working on starting up a walk campaign which will be held once every year or depending on the outcome of the first program when it commences. The campaign is a Walk against Disease, which is one of the major reasons Dawnjuice was birthed, we are also open to give support to and partner with any organization or company that gives back to the society.

Reward

Our greatest reward so far is been referred too with good and positive feedback. Our customers satisfaction is our main priority and we are also ready and happy to serve those buds with our healthy and hearty recipes.

DawnJuice in 5 years

In today’s competitive world, it’s our job to stay true to our product, quality, quantity and remain humble, stay friendly with our customers and remain consistent with them and have their satisfaction as our main goal at all times. With that been said our customers can only make it work with continuous demand from them and supply from us. I’m really excited about the future cause it takes drops of water to make an ocean, with continuous hard-work, teamwork and determination dreams do come through. Nothing is impossible if we put our minds to it, Dawnjuice moves in a steady pace, gradual is he that want to eat fat, so establishing branches in the various locations in Lagos and then other states to spread our vision throughout the country. Healthy eating is no longer expensive.

I will keep pushing against all odds

There’s hardly anything you set to do that someone else isn’t doing and that alone can get you thinking on how you’ll start and meet market standard and the thoughts of not been capable of sustaining in the market. At the beginning not having the necessary and right machinery to make work faster, effective and efficient. I almost gave up but with great support and encouragement, I went back to drawing board evaluated what exactly I needed and wanted to do. A lot of things can discourage one from attain success but with determination, set mind and focus all will be the thing of the past sooner or later.

My husband is my Inspiration

I got inspired by My Husband as I get to prepare Juice for him like every other day, as healthy living is a long term and continuous commitment and he was very conscious of his diet with the Juice added. That birthed the dream. Continuous attempts paved way for learning, exploring and researching into the World of Juicing, the juicing in small quantities been made, started growing progressively by the day and boom DAWNJUICE here I come.

More inspiration came as I get to influence people around me to living and eating better and healthy by adjusting their diet plan by adding Juice or smoothies to their meal plan.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I believe as a woman being independent goes a long way for us, our kids and the society at large, we need to wake up from the Mentality of keeping ourselves in the wall of our homes, care for the household and not mix and mingle with the ongoing events around us and our surroundings.

We have lots of talents and things to offer to the society, starting from been supportive to our husbands in every ramification, raising our kids and instilling good habits in them, been our sisters keeper at all times and helping fellow women instead making her feel inferior.

Are Nigerians well informed on the need to eat and drink healthy

Yes! Almost everyone is into one thing or the other it’s either you hear of Exercising (fitness club) or the Keto diet, smoothies cleansing etc. Everybody wants to live long in good health and so in achieving that they fall on any of the mentioned above. Staying in shape is trendy thing now – exercising and having a good diet, everything and anything at all that can make the old look younger. Farming is also beginning to resurface as fresh and organic crop product are more save and reliable to consume.

Why we support charitable causes

Dawnjuice loves to support and promote other business the little way we can cause we all need each other to grow, it gives us more exposure and opportunities and help reach our prospective customers , giving them an insight and knowledge about DawnJuice.

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“I WANT TO HELP REDUCE THE NUMBER OF HOPELESS, HELPLESS, DEPRESSED & SUICIDAL SOULS IN NIGERIA- OYINKANSOLA ALABI

Last month, popular Nigerian Artiste Harry Song opened up on his battle with depression and cried out for help, while many mocked him for speaking up as a celebrated figure, one woman reached out to help him find his path and walk him through his healing process, that woman is Oyinkansola Alabi , popularly referred to as the Emotions Doctor, the Lead Researcher and Lead Facilitator of EMOTIONS CITY, an Emotions Coaching and Consulting Firm. The company works with leaders of various arms of Government and NGO’s as well as Business and Institution leaders at all levels, using original, home grown research and principle based methodologies.

She is one of Nigeria’s clearest and sought after high impact trainer. She has trained tens of thousands of executives who desired to achieve a high level of Emotional Intelligence.

The Cornell University trained Human Resource Executive, Certified Life Coach, Cognitive Behavioural Specialist, Licensed Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, only female six seconds network leader in Nigeria, is also the convener of the first ever Emotional Intelligence Week in Nigeria and arguably in Africa .Oyinkan also serves as an ordained Pastor under the astute leadership of Pastors Taiwo and Nomthi Odukoya.

In celebration of World’s Mental health week, Oyinkan shares her inspiring story with me in this exclusive interview as she highlights the cause of the recent increase in depression and her determination to give hope to those who are hopeless and on the verge of giving up.

Childhood Influence
In retrospect I think that my childhood prepared me for what I’m doing now because 2 months before I was born my father had stroke and that life altering experience introduced me and my family into a flavor of poverty and scarcity.I grew up faster than my peers because I had learned how to take responsibility for my existence.

I also promised myself that I was going to be the best version of what God created me to be despite my financially epileptic background. I must also admit that one clear value my parents transmitted to me was the yearning for knowledge.

I remember my father taught me how to read by giving me a book to read every week and when I was done reading he gave me a gift. I initially read because I wanted a gift but I later read to a point where I outgrew the gift. I knew I was consuming knowledge for my own good.

Oyinkansola Alabi

Meet Me!
I am the voice of your unconscious calling you to embrace your greatness. I amA soul who is passionately consumed by the vision to help adults take responsibility for their mental health and emotional stability.I desire to help as many people as possible in every state, every country, whatever gender, marital status, sexuality, religion, move from a place of emotional instability to a place of emotional stability, a state of unhappiness to a state of happiness. I am that soul who craves to help you increase your productivity, happiness and help live a life of fulfillment want you to know that we are not on earth to work, pay bills and die, you are here to enjoy your life.

Inspiration behind Emotions City

My desire to help people move from a state of pain into a state deep happiness and fulfilment ignited my desire to launch Emotions City.We actually launched the Youthmax Academy earlier which is arguably the first Emotional Intelligence Academy for Millennials in Africa.Then we started receiving training requests from Professionals and corporate organisations who had been informed of our unparalleled value and results. The essence of Emotions City is to help people live the best version of their life.We desire to help people reduce their pain, We desire to give life where death looms,We desire to reduce the number of hopeless, helpless, depressed and suicidal souls in Nigeria.We are also the only mental health facility in Nigeria who offers round the clock coaching and therapy service. While others close for the day, our midnight listeners are willing to listen and resolve emotional distractions.

Impact

I think that the results of my impact are in the quality of souls that I have been able to raise. I daily engage a principle I heard a while ago that, it is better to train a child than to repair an adult. I think it’s true because a number of professionals are repairing adults which in itself isn’t bad but I think we can become more proactive by raising kids instead.Raising kids is proactive, repairing adults is reactive.To this end, we have created sub units under the YOUTHMAX Academy called the Child and Teen max Academy. It’s been proven that it’s cheaper to raise than to repair. A broken soul at best will be remoulded but never restored to default setting. Only God restores.

Balancing it all

I doubt the concept work life balance exist, I think what exists in reality is work life integration. I integrate my life by living and existing one day at a time. I deliberately refuse to engage in emotional labour where I worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself, My duty is to prepare and plan. So my responsibility as a Coach, Pastor, Public speaker and Mum are going well. I am not perfect but I am getting better at it daily.

Work Challenges

I am in a field plagued my men. Men who have been programmed to think it’s their birth right to lead. Men who support other men and will choose other men before they remember women exist. They do this not because they hate women but because they have been scripted to reach out to other men before women.The second interesting challenger is fact that some clients feel entitled to your time and expertise. They feel it is your responsibility to serve them for free once they reach out to you. Most of them haven’t been trained to take responsibility for their mental health. They have been trained to request for freebies so once your invoice welcomes them to reality, they freeze and some resort to emotional blackmail. This really doesn’t bother me because I am aware I can’t help everyone. I will only help those I desire to.

Other Projects

We are collaborating with some international organisations to help develop revolutionary products. We will disclose them in due time but for now, we are concentrating on making Emotions City the one stop centre for emotional intelligence training and solution.

Reward

My greatest reward are the evidence of changed lives. I am not on earth to be rich or be wealthy. I am here to help souls embrace their inner divinity. I am also aware that resources will be provided while being consumed by my passion.

Emotions City in 5 years
In the next five years, we will have moved from being just service providers into products manufacturers and global thought leaders. Are you wondering how? We will share details when we can.

Never giving up
No I have never thought of giving up. My noble goal is addictive enough to consume me. I however get tired and when I do I reach out to mentors, friends and family members. I must admit that I am blessed with beautiful relationships that service my existence.

Women who inspire me

Models like Oprah, Serena Williams, Maya Angelou, Bimbo Odukoya inspire me to do more. These souls lived / live for humanity.

Being a Woman of Rubies

One familiar truth I am aware of is that I am authentic.I am true to my soul. My public and private life are in sync. My words and actions also align.I think my authenticity and my voice are what makes me a woman of rubies.

Nigerians & Awareness to Mental health

Nigerians need more awareness and clarity on mental health. A good number of us actually think mental health is only for people with psychological issues.We haven’t fully come to terms with the fact that there is no health without mental health.

Cause of increase in Depression
The word is becoming more complex. Culture is changing. Economy is worsening. The rules of parenting, relationships and success are being redefined. Social media is brewing envy and jealousy.

These complex engagements are ultimately climaxing some emotionally unstable adults into a state of unhappiness, hopelessness, helplessness, self esteem issues, inferiority complex etc. Once all of these states set in and your internal affairs are more disempowering than empowering. You will question your existence. Once you feel you are not good enough, nobody cares about you, the world will be better without you.Suicide becomes attractive. Suicide is however not an option. There are at least five other options you can embrace and we can show you how at Emotions City.

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