women of rubies Archives

In self development March 1, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASILELE MUYANDI: PEARLS AROUND MY NECK (VALUE OF A WOMAN)

I once went to cosmopolitan shopping mall in my home town, in Lusaka Zambia, and as I
was window shopping, I stopped to look at jewellery in the American Swiss store, and while
in the store, my attention was caught by a pair of beautiful pearls and a necklace, my eyes
wide open and face glowing, all I thought of was “I need to get these”. I turned to the store
attendant to confirm the price I was looking at, (seemed expensive to me) and with a smile
she looked at me and said,” yes it is K5, 000($ 500).I smiled and said thank you, as I was
about to walk out the store, she said the value of pearls is like that of a woman, rare but well
deserved.

I walked away with a smile, but her words made a statement to my spirit. It brought me to
the realization of a woman’s true worth ,How it is mostly, underestimated, over looked,
taken for granted ,(even by herself),just as I thought the price of those pearls would have
been. Today ,many of us do not only know, but don’t realize the value that comes with being
a woman, Many today don’t realize that the value they carry can change not only their lives,
but our world, and that with our diverse values, color, stature, zeal and caliber, the value of
the pearls around your neck remains the same, as a woman, accept who and what you are
,and work towards preserving and improving that, if we as women value our worth, we will
create a platform for the opposite sex, and the feminist fighting for our voice to be heard. A
platform where a woman will be accepted as strong, intelligent, a decision maker, a worthy
human being to be heard, to be taken seriously, and for all this to come to reality, we need
as women to realize the our worth, we need to realize that we are deserving of rare pearls,
and because we are rare, our uniqueness stretches beyond clothes, weaves and designer shoes.

Ladies the value of pearls will never vary depending on the environment, whether
you are the richest woman on earth or an average woman, the pearls around your neck
have the same value, we should not be defined by society, by the environment around us,
nor the voices that constantly speak less of who we are. Pearls are preserved, they are
guarded jealously, and as women, we need to preserve our character even at the point we
fight for our rights, we need to constantly improve our selves through knowledge, upgrading
our skills, research and making sure we are well acquainted with our environments and see
where a hand is needed, and see where a voice is to be heard. Lastly, the value we have
within is and can be the push needed by another woman, a hand and support given to a
fellow woman will not reduce your worth and value, but rather improve your character and
there will be an increase in the number of confident women.

We all are deserving women.

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

In self development January 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

GRACE ORISAKIYA: TEAMING UP IN A RELATIONSHIP

No man is an island of his own, there will be times you will need people’s contributions, opinions and help. Working together with people has been useful in different circumstances and has contributed to productivity and time management. Team work is essential in the organization and management of tasks. Team work isn’t confined to the corporate world, you could have teams in schools, religious gatherings and some couples even consider their relationship or family a team. When managed properly, there will be a positive impact on the team goals and its members. Have you ever been friends with someone and one day you get to know people are being selected for different teams and you wish to be in the same team as your friend. After a while you hear you names announced under the same team, if this were you, how would you feel? Teamwork can contribute to having a higher sense of purpose with its members. This article will concentrate on how a relationship/marriage can be seen as a team. Some factors that shouldn’t be ignored when building a team includes;

A common goal-

Without a common goal and interest, it is considered a group. A team is usually formed with the desire to achieve a particular goal and all members of the team will be interested in accomplishing this goal. For instance if you consider your relationship a team and decide to achieve a common goal which is ultimately to build a future together, you both should make it your priority, talk about it and plan to make it achievable.

Compatibility –

Two or more people can’t work together if there is no compatibility. I don’t just mean in personalities, you might not have compatible interest or future plans. Although some won’t mind as long as they ‘love’ each other but how sustainable can love be when faced with issues that could have been avoided? Being realistic about your compatibility is huge step in becoming a team.

Team size

A team consists of people with a shared goal, since this article addresses relationships becoming a team, it should consist of TWO individuals who love each other, have the desire to build a future together not Two individuals and some people by the side. If you wish to include your children, that is totally fine as long as the size is restricted to your family. Being in a relationship and having others by the side destroys trust, respect and the overall purpose of the team. Being committed to your partner is of essence in becoming a team.

Shared task –

Like any other team, a relationship team should have shared task. This can be developed or identified by recognizing each other’s strengths. What are you good at? How will the bills be shared? Who will take the children to school in the morning? Who will pick them up? And so on. It is important to discuss tasks that should be performed, failure to do so might lead to expectations and disappointments.

Conflict management –

As long as two people are involved, there will be disagreements. How do you plan to manage conflict? What’s you apology strategy? What can you do to make things better. Don’t assume that there won’t be conflict as this is considered failing to prepare or assume that there should always be conflict as this is considered preparing to fail. Sometimes conflict can be avoided when there’s understanding in the relationship and when it occurs, the ability to resolve quickly depends on how you are willing to make it work.

A leader –

First of all, I believe everyone should do what they are comfortable with. Some believe men are the leaders or head of a relationship/ home while others believe both people in the relationship are leaders. In my opinion, my husband being the leader doesn’t make me a weaker member of the team. It has been that way right from our dating phase. Let’s face it, What are the qualities of a leader? They should be willing to communicate, guide, direct, listen, give constructive feedback and so on. A leader sometimes may need assistance in taking a decision and he will consult his team member. That goes to show how much he’s interested in your opinion.

In summary, making your relationship/ marriage a team requires commitment, understanding and a common goal.

About Grace

Grace Asemota is a Business Psychologist (M.Sc) and a Certified Life Coach. She has partnered with Organizations and solopreneurs to grow their personal and professional brands and has coached students and staff in different institutions and organisations.

She continuously coaches and trains on the importance of goal setting, happiness,personal development and self- confidence in a wide range of organisations and institutions by motivating staff to develop a collaborative culture and identify key factors that can enhance personal growth.

You can follow her on

LinkedIn @Grace Asemota-Orisakiya

In self development January 21, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

JANE UDOKA: THE IDEAL WOMAN: THE IDEAL SERIES

All over the world, there are diverse ways an ideal woman is looked upon. Some countries or tribes judge this based on the ethnicity, the looks, the moral disposition, social nature of a woman. Some however even judge this idealism based on trivial things such as her body size, her feminine curves, her sensuality, her height, accent or even the way she walks. It’s funny and inconsequential but the world has placed insanely high standards on women that some find it quite hard to come to terms and be happy with whom they are.

To us however, these are the standards by which an ideal woman should be measured :

An Ideal woman is an independent woman, she is a woman who is capable of taking care of her emotions, her duties, herself and people who depend on her. She is someone who does not manipulate people around her to do her wishes but instead takes the bull heads on and achieves the task needed. She is a goal getter, a trend setter and one who does not shy away from duties no matter the sexual barriers that are attached to it. She is one that’s able to put sentiments aside and forge ahead with the right things.

An Ideal woman is a purposeful and creative lady, she is a lady with a purpose. She is a career oriented woman with set goals. She is one who sleeps at night and wakes up with a refreshed and energized spirit to fight for her dreams. She is one who does not conform to the world’s standards for good, but seeks to become better with each passing day.

The Ideal woman is a motivator and helper to people around her. She is one who motivates and encourages people around her. If she is in a relationship, or married, she is one who’s not just there in favorable times but even in the gloomy days. She is one who understands and is ready to help whenever and however she can. She is a loyal woman.

Our ideal woman is one who understands that her worth isn’t just defined by her sex. If she is married she is one who knows that motherhood isn’t her totality but also an added role she plays. She is one who focuses on being the best mother and also the career woman she is. She is one who does not accept the people’s definition of a good woman but goes ahead to create her own version of it.

Our Ideal woman is the confident lady. She is one who is extremely comfortable in her own skin. She is one who is not intimidated by what the world throws at her but takes it and makes the best out of it. She is one who is not deterred by her failures but rather sees it as a chance to becoming better. She is one who revels in her capabilities and pulls up those all around her . She is the hard working woman.

Photocredit: Google

About Jane

21 year old Udoka Jane O is a trained Engineer, She is a professional freelance writer on Relationship and healthy lifestyles. Jane has written a number of mind engaging articles….

In self development January 18, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

OLUFUNKE ADEBAYO: FERMENTED FOODS

I actually did not know that foods that have gone through fermentation are powerhouses of nutrients until my father shared a research done on locust beans (Irú) with me. He said that locust beans was spread on some cancer tissues and the locust beans killed all the cancer cells! Apart from killing cancer cells, locust beans also promotes good eyesight, aids digestion, the water and alcoholic extracts of fermented locust beans are used to reduce blood sugar. Locust bean does more but it’s so unfortunate that most of us hate this wonder food.

Fermented foods are foods that have been through a process of lactofermentation in which natural bacteria feed on the sugar and starch in the food creating lactic acid. This process preserves the food and creates beneficial enzymes, b-vitamins, Omega-3 fatty acids, and various strains of probiotics.

Some foods are not safe for human consumption; it is only through fermentation that the plant toxins in them are removed and it is this process that brings out the best in such foods. A good example of this is soyabeans . It is less harmful when fermented. The Japanese eat Miso, Tempeh, Natto and Tofu which are all made by fermenting soyabeans. Now, guess what? When it comes to living healthy and long lives, the Japanese are good in that department! If you still take soya milk, I advise that you try to be fermenting it before drinking or, better still, use your soyabeans to make soya locust beans .

Fermentation has also been shown to preserve nutrients in foods and break the food down to a more digestible form. This, along with the bevy of probiotics created during the fermentation process, could explain the link between consumption of fermented foods and improved digestion.

Apple cider vinegar is also a good example. It is made from fermented apple. It is loaded with a lot of health benefits. Women who have met me for their menses to be induced naturally would testify to the fact that this wonder drink is part of the treatment.

Yogurt is another fermented food. It is made by adding bacterial cultures to milk, transforming the milk sugar, lactose, into lactic acid. Here is why yogurt is better than milk. As a matter of fact, it is healthier to take yogurt than milk because, like I have discussed before, the cows that produce the milk we drink are given hormonal injections so that they can produce more milk and also become fleshy on time. While we take milk, we ingest all those hormones too! Fermentation reduces all these. However, not all brands of yogurt are healthy; some have preservatives and that is why they have a long shelf life. This is why I advise people to make their yogurt at home. I know a particular brand that has a shelf life of three weeks because it doesn’t have any preservatives. It is made here in Nigeria. I can be consulted to give the name.

Besides the fact that they taste great , there are several great reasons to start making and eating fermented foods:

1. Eating fermented foods will introduce beneficial bacteria into your digestive system and help the balance of bacteria in the system. Probiotics have also been shown to help slow or reverse some diseases, improve bowel health, aid digestion, and improve immunity!

2. Having the proper balance of gut bacteria and enough digestive enzymes helps you absorb more of the nutrients in the foods you eat. Pair this with your healthy food diet, and you will absorb many more nutrients from the foods you eat. You won’t need as many supplements and vitamins, and you’ll be absorbing more of the live nutrients in your foods.

3. Incorporating healthy foods into your diet can get expensive, but not so with fermented foods. You can make them at home. Adding these things to your diet can also cut down on the number of supplements you need, helping the budget further.

4 Fermentation allows you to store these foods for longer periods of time without losing the nutrients like you would with traditional canning.

5. Fermentation brings out some amazing health benefits in foods.

6. Fermentation removes anti-nutrients from foods .

So, when next locust bean is added to your soup, I want you all to eat with so much relish. In fact, you can eat it raw without adding to soups!

In self development January 2, 2019 By Women of Rubies

ENITAN FACOS : 4 HABITS THAT MAY ACTUALLY BE SECRET ADDICTIONS

You call it a habit, they call it an addiction. There seems to be a fine line that separates the two. Knowing the difference between habits, compulsions, and addictions can help you in making much-needed changes in your life.

Here are 4 strange addictions that you often mistake for habits:

Checking your Phone

Cell phone addiction is getting worse.

So many people are addicted to technology. It is common to see a family of four sitting at a table in a restaurant and all four of them looking at their own technological device. Technology is slowly taking away the “social” out of “social events”. Facebook has taken technology addiction to a whole new level. Technology addictions have become so prominent that researchers have created a Facebook addiction scale.

It is time we, as a society, start learning how to limit our time with technology and especially our time on websites such as Facebook. It is like one big webpage full of gossip, which happens to be another addiction a person can have.

Seeking attention

Some researchers call attention seeking addiction narcissism or attention validation addiction. There are different types of attention seekers: the sufferer, the saviour, the rescuer, organizer, manipulator, mind-poisoner, drama queen, busy bee, false confessor, abused, online victim, victim,

All of these kinds of attention seekers are a real drag to be around. But it is like they can’t help themselves. They can’t stop making themselves the center of attention no matter how many times they been talked to or coached.

On some level, their behavior gives them a sense of pleasure and they have gotten a response from others that made them feel good. I know, it sounds weird; a negative behavior gives them a positive feeling.

But that’s very similar to using drugs or alcohol, right? So they continue to seek attention in negative ways, and they don’t understand why they can’t keep friends for a long period of time.

Watching TV and playing video games

Television and video games seem harmless. In fact, most people see television and gaming systems as relaxing things to do at the end of a long day.

But, there is a downside to watching too much television and playing video games for a long period of time, you can even become addicted to it. This happens because you create a habit that revolves around television and video games and those habits can turn into addictions.

If so, you may want to make a few changes in your daily routine so that you can break addictive patterns.

Gossiping

There are many reasons we gossip. In a selfish way, gossip makes us feel better about ourselves, and at least, for a moment, it tells us we’re not the only ones on this planet with problems. It becomes an escape from our own reality. However, there is a dark side to gossiping.

Gossiping can become addictive for similar reasons we become addicted to other things. Gossip is associated with entertainment and pleasure, according to some research. This is not good since most gossip is negative.

In self development December 27, 2018 By Esther Ijewere

QUEEN ESOHE IGBINOBA: 4 STEPS TO TELLING GREAT STORIES THAT RESONATE WITH YOUR AUDIENCE

I once asked a group of entrepreneurs ‘’why do you tell stories?’’

I got the following responses.

I tell stories for:

Clarity, sharing of insights and my life lessons

To inspire/encourage

Connect with someone

Brand awareness – more people need to know about my brand

More eyeballs = more prospects = more sales

I’ll be seen in the right light, by the right people at the right time

Why these reasons are great, they may not give you the result you need as an influential storyteller or entrepreneur.

They are good reasons to tell a good story, however, there are 4 important steps you need to take to telling great stories that resonate.

Find the people who have the same worldviews as you do

What do I mean by that?

Worldviews refer to people’s perspectives or beliefs on different life issues.

You need to find the people who share the same perspective or belief about your subject matter.

Find people with a bias to listen to you

Beyond finding people with similar beliefs, find people with a bias to listen to you.

People interested in listening to your message and falling in love with your brand and your stories.

Why do you need to do that?

You need to do that so you can share stories that resonate deeply with them and inspire them to take massive action.

For my brand, I focus on attracting new entrepreneurs who love stories, understand the power of stories and are willing to learn to tell better stories so they can attract more of the right audience to their stories and grow their business.

Be clear about who your audience is and why they would listen to you

You should also ask yourself who exactly is my audience and why would they listen to me?

Understanding who your audience is helps you determine how you will communicate your stories to them, what mediums you will use and how frequently you will engage with them.

Be clear about where you will find them

Another thing you need to know is how to find them.

How do you find these people?

Get clear about the kind of people who need your message and stories

Find out where they congregate online and offline

Find out the issues or topics they are very passionate about

Find out what common problems and experiences they have

Find out what common result they seek

Most importantly get clear about the kind of customers you do and don’t want to attract.

Beyond knowing these 4 steps, ensure you implement them so you can start seeing results in your business.

Remember, good things happen to those who take massive action.

About Esohe

Esohe Igbinoba is the Founder, The Global Brand Network. GBN is a brand management organization with a focus on teaching entrepreneurs the art of influential storytelling for attracting visibility and building an engaged audience so they can build profitable businesses. She helps them to achieve this through her unique system: The Influential Storytelling Formula. She has helped over 150 people in 10 countries. She helps them through her online school, GBN Business School where she offers one on one coaching programs, online courses and training programs.

You can connect with her on Social media @queenesohe

Or send an email to esohe@queenesohe.com

Or on her website queenesohe.com

In Editor's Choice November 28, 2018 By Women of Rubies

ESTHER IJEWERE WINS SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR OF THE YEAR AWARD

On Saturday November 25th , 2018 The Eloy awards held the 10th edition of it’s prestigious award ceremony and Esther Ijewere, founder of Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children and Editor-In-Chief of Multiple award winning blog Women of Rubies won the Social Entrepreneur award, for her selflessness and contribution towards the empowerment of women both at the grassroots and social level.

While she was unable to attend the epoch making event, Esther was well represented by her Mentee Lordwilliams Gusi Tobby of Girlhub Africa, who gave an outstanding speech on behalf of her Mentor and also congratulated other Nominees.

Reacting to the award, Esther took to her social media page to show her appreciation;

“Thank you Jesus for yet another award! Who am I? Nothing but pencil before you Heavenly father … absolutely Nothing!

Just a young girl whose life is a movement she barely can understand.

I dedicate this Award to my Mom! Mummy I never reach where I dey go o but this is for you! For bringing me to the world against all odds and always standing by me through thick and thin… I owe you so much Mama!!!

To everyone that voted for me, May God honour you all, I appreciate you for your love and constant support! We won!!!

Our beautiful Queens at Women of Rubies You guys rock! Thanks for making it all worth it

Thanks to my wonderful team, this is our Win guys! Yes! We did it.

Thanks for picking yet another award for me my ever supportive mentee and aburo Lordwilliams Tobby. I appreciate you!

To Tewa Onasanya and the @eloyawards team, I Stan you. May God bless the work of your hands. Thanks for counting me worthy

Thank you Jesus, for this, that and everything! I remain Loyal

This is Esther’s second award this year, it will be recalled that the social entrepreneur won the “Humanitarian of the year award” at the D&K Soumi awards back in August.

In self development November 3, 2018 By Women of Rubies

“MY HUSBAND ENCOURAGED ME TO START MY JUICE COMPANY” – TEMILOLUWA BALOGUN

Temiloluwa Balogun is fulfilling that dream by following her passion by changing the narrative unhealthy food consumption, She is the CEO of DawnJuice, a fast rising organic fruit juice and smoothies company in Nigeria. The young budding entrepreneur earned her degree in Microbiology from Olabisi Onabanjo University. Temi is strong advocate for healthy lifestyle. She continues to promote healthy living and lifestyle by carefully creating recipes to meet her family and clientele demands; encourages young people—especially women to choose healthy meal options.

She has supported and partnered with several organizations to drive the message of healthy lifestyle home , while she also runs her beauty and lifestyle outfit MO’s Crib Ventures on the side to further help women with their day to day lifestyle as it relates to beauty and make-up.

Temiloluwa who is happily married with children is also a certified Air hostess , In her words “ If I wasn’t into Juice business , I would have been a very successful air hostess because I commit myself to everything I do and give it my all”.

She shares her story with Esther Ijewere in this interview and shed more light on the need to eat and stay healthy.

Childhood Influence

I wouldn’t say Yes or No. But, all I can relate is that the church we attended back then fruits was always the order of the day,invariably I got introduced and exposed to fruits very early in life in varieties.

Meet Temi

A mother of three, who loves caring for her home. An entrepreneur and business woman who owns both Mo’s Crib and Dawn Juice (beauty and healthy lifestyle). I love caring for people around me, love togetherness, working with my team especially in areas of support and supervision. I’m very hardworking, humble, fun person, down to earth, takes responsibility and shares authority amongst workers accordingly. Happy to protect and serve her home, the people around her and give back to the society.

Inspiration behind Dawn Juice

I got inspired by a handful of thoughts, just to mention a few; I recall that fast foods and drinks was the order of the day for my generation while growing up. It was trendy and a breakaway from the normal home food making. Little did we know that like everything it has its own side effects. I wanted to change the narrative, and that’s where the inspiration for Dawn juice came from, I started with my immediate family and friends , moreso the society needs more awareness about living, eating and staying healthy, so since eating is one of the behavioral functions of humans for living, what goes into the esophagus should be healthy and 100% clean, organic and fresh. Our products are from natural fruit and vegetables contains no artificial preservative or additives which guarantees healthy lifestyle. To help the World in reducing sickness and diseases resulting from unhealthy eating and passing the healthy lifestyle culture to the incoming generation.

Challenges of running Dawn Juice

Dawnjuice deals with fresh, organic farm produce which are personally sorted for in a good state. The most dreadful challenge is when the fruits all get spoilt/rotten before used or when already processed and bottled up for sales and been kept in the fridge but the generator or fridge and or PHCN decides to give up at the same time and it all gets sour. It’s heart breaking and no juicing company wants to experience it. Luckily, we have been able to adjust by not relying solely on PHCN but also solar electricity

Another challenge is trying to change the narrative by breaking the cycle of unhealthy food, apparently most people are used to that, it’s also challenging that prospective buyers are always skeptical about the content of healthy drinks either because of previous experience with other brands or out of fear Thankfully, three of our products are NAFDAC approved, so quality is always guaranteed.

Another bottleneck is pricing. Most people may find it convenient to buy a N100 or N200 unhealthy drink than to buy a N600 to N1000 healthy drinks- juice or smoothies of the same Litres.

Cost of business in Lagos is quite high, ranging from electricity bills, transportation, licensing etc. this will definitely affect the price. However, we have worked so hard to keep the overhead costs so low while maintaining its quality recipe that the pricing is almost equivalent to do-it-yourself cost at home

Plans to hold a walk

Dawnjuice is working on starting up a walk campaign which will be held once every year or depending on the outcome of the first program when it commences. The campaign is a Walk against Disease, which is one of the major reasons Dawnjuice was birthed, we are also open to give support to and partner with any organization or company that gives back to the society.

Reward

Our greatest reward so far is been referred too with good and positive feedback. Our customers satisfaction is our main priority and we are also ready and happy to serve those buds with our healthy and hearty recipes.

DawnJuice in 5 years

In today’s competitive world, it’s our job to stay true to our product, quality, quantity and remain humble, stay friendly with our customers and remain consistent with them and have their satisfaction as our main goal at all times. With that been said our customers can only make it work with continuous demand from them and supply from us. I’m really excited about the future cause it takes drops of water to make an ocean, with continuous hard-work, teamwork and determination dreams do come through. Nothing is impossible if we put our minds to it, Dawnjuice moves in a steady pace, gradual is he that want to eat fat, so establishing branches in the various locations in Lagos and then other states to spread our vision throughout the country. Healthy eating is no longer expensive.

I will keep pushing against all odds

There’s hardly anything you set to do that someone else isn’t doing and that alone can get you thinking on how you’ll start and meet market standard and the thoughts of not been capable of sustaining in the market. At the beginning not having the necessary and right machinery to make work faster, effective and efficient. I almost gave up but with great support and encouragement, I went back to drawing board evaluated what exactly I needed and wanted to do. A lot of things can discourage one from attain success but with determination, set mind and focus all will be the thing of the past sooner or later.

My husband is my Inspiration

I got inspired by My Husband as I get to prepare Juice for him like every other day, as healthy living is a long term and continuous commitment and he was very conscious of his diet with the Juice added. That birthed the dream. Continuous attempts paved way for learning, exploring and researching into the World of Juicing, the juicing in small quantities been made, started growing progressively by the day and boom DAWNJUICE here I come.

More inspiration came as I get to influence people around me to living and eating better and healthy by adjusting their diet plan by adding Juice or smoothies to their meal plan.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I believe as a woman being independent goes a long way for us, our kids and the society at large, we need to wake up from the Mentality of keeping ourselves in the wall of our homes, care for the household and not mix and mingle with the ongoing events around us and our surroundings.

We have lots of talents and things to offer to the society, starting from been supportive to our husbands in every ramification, raising our kids and instilling good habits in them, been our sisters keeper at all times and helping fellow women instead making her feel inferior.

Are Nigerians well informed on the need to eat and drink healthy

Yes! Almost everyone is into one thing or the other it’s either you hear of Exercising (fitness club) or the Keto diet, smoothies cleansing etc. Everybody wants to live long in good health and so in achieving that they fall on any of the mentioned above. Staying in shape is trendy thing now – exercising and having a good diet, everything and anything at all that can make the old look younger. Farming is also beginning to resurface as fresh and organic crop product are more save and reliable to consume.

Why we support charitable causes

Dawnjuice loves to support and promote other business the little way we can cause we all need each other to grow, it gives us more exposure and opportunities and help reach our prospective customers , giving them an insight and knowledge about DawnJuice.

In Editor's Choice October 13, 2018 By Women of Rubies

“I WANT TO HELP REDUCE THE NUMBER OF HOPELESS, HELPLESS, DEPRESSED & SUICIDAL SOULS IN NIGERIA- OYINKANSOLA ALABI

Last month, popular Nigerian Artiste Harry Song opened up on his battle with depression and cried out for help, while many mocked him for speaking up as a celebrated figure, one woman reached out to help him find his path and walk him through his healing process, that woman is Oyinkansola Alabi , popularly referred to as the Emotions Doctor, the Lead Researcher and Lead Facilitator of EMOTIONS CITY, an Emotions Coaching and Consulting Firm. The company works with leaders of various arms of Government and NGO’s as well as Business and Institution leaders at all levels, using original, home grown research and principle based methodologies.

She is one of Nigeria’s clearest and sought after high impact trainer. She has trained tens of thousands of executives who desired to achieve a high level of Emotional Intelligence.

The Cornell University trained Human Resource Executive, Certified Life Coach, Cognitive Behavioural Specialist, Licensed Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, only female six seconds network leader in Nigeria, is also the convener of the first ever Emotional Intelligence Week in Nigeria and arguably in Africa .Oyinkan also serves as an ordained Pastor under the astute leadership of Pastors Taiwo and Nomthi Odukoya.

In celebration of World’s Mental health week, Oyinkan shares her inspiring story with me in this exclusive interview as she highlights the cause of the recent increase in depression and her determination to give hope to those who are hopeless and on the verge of giving up.

Childhood Influence
In retrospect I think that my childhood prepared me for what I’m doing now because 2 months before I was born my father had stroke and that life altering experience introduced me and my family into a flavor of poverty and scarcity.I grew up faster than my peers because I had learned how to take responsibility for my existence.

I also promised myself that I was going to be the best version of what God created me to be despite my financially epileptic background. I must also admit that one clear value my parents transmitted to me was the yearning for knowledge.

I remember my father taught me how to read by giving me a book to read every week and when I was done reading he gave me a gift. I initially read because I wanted a gift but I later read to a point where I outgrew the gift. I knew I was consuming knowledge for my own good.

Meet Me!
I am the voice of your unconscious calling you to embrace your greatness. I amA soul who is passionately consumed by the vision to help adults take responsibility for their mental health and emotional stability.I desire to help as many people as possible in every state, every country, whatever gender, marital status, sexuality, religion, move from a place of emotional instability to a place of emotional stability, a state of unhappiness to a state of happiness. I am that soul who craves to help you increase your productivity, happiness and help live a life of fulfillment want you to know that we are not on earth to work, pay bills and die, you are here to enjoy your life.

Inspiration behind Emotions City

My desire to help people move from a state of pain into a state deep happiness and fulfilment ignited my desire to launch Emotions City.We actually launched the Youthmax Academy earlier which is arguably the first Emotional Intelligence Academy for Millennials in Africa.Then we started receiving training requests from Professionals and corporate organisations who had been informed of our unparalleled value and results. The essence of Emotions City is to help people live the best version of their life.We desire to help people reduce their pain, We desire to give life where death looms,We desire to reduce the number of hopeless, helpless, depressed and suicidal souls in Nigeria.We are also the only mental health facility in Nigeria who offers round the clock coaching and therapy service. While others close for the day, our midnight listeners are willing to listen and resolve emotional distractions.

Impact

I think that the results of my impact are in the quality of souls that I have been able to raise. I daily engage a principle I heard a while ago that, it is better to train a child than to repair an adult. I think it’s true because a number of professionals are repairing adults which in itself isn’t bad but I think we can become more proactive by raising kids instead.Raising kids is proactive, repairing adults is reactive.To this end, we have created sub units under the YOUTHMAX Academy called the Child and Teen max Academy. It’s been proven that it’s cheaper to raise than to repair. A broken soul at best will be remoulded but never restored to default setting. Only God restores.

Balancing it all

I doubt the concept work life balance exist, I think what exists in reality is work life integration. I integrate my life by living and existing one day at a time. I deliberately refuse to engage in emotional labour where I worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself, My duty is to prepare and plan. So my responsibility as a Coach, Pastor, Public speaker and Mum are going well. I am not perfect but I am getting better at it daily.

Work Challenges

I am in a field plagued my men. Men who have been programmed to think it’s their birth right to lead. Men who support other men and will choose other men before they remember women exist. They do this not because they hate women but because they have been scripted to reach out to other men before women.The second interesting challenger is fact that some clients feel entitled to your time and expertise. They feel it is your responsibility to serve them for free once they reach out to you. Most of them haven’t been trained to take responsibility for their mental health. They have been trained to request for freebies so once your invoice welcomes them to reality, they freeze and some resort to emotional blackmail. This really doesn’t bother me because I am aware I can’t help everyone. I will only help those I desire to.

Other Projects

We are collaborating with some international organisations to help develop revolutionary products. We will disclose them in due time but for now, we are concentrating on making Emotions City the one stop centre for emotional intelligence training and solution.

Reward

My greatest reward are the evidence of changed lives. I am not on earth to be rich or be wealthy. I am here to help souls embrace their inner divinity. I am also aware that resources will be provided while being consumed by my passion.

Emotions City in 5 years
In the next five years, we will have moved from being just service providers into products manufacturers and global thought leaders. Are you wondering how? We will share details when we can.

Never giving up
No I have never thought of giving up. My noble goal is addictive enough to consume me. I however get tired and when I do I reach out to mentors, friends and family members. I must admit that I am blessed with beautiful relationships that service my existence.

Women who inspire me

Models like Oprah, Serena Williams, Maya Angelou, Bimbo Odukoya inspire me to do more. These souls lived / live for humanity.

Being a Woman of Rubies

One familiar truth I am aware of is that I am authentic.I am true to my soul. My public and private life are in sync. My words and actions also align.I think my authenticity and my voice are what makes me a woman of rubies.

Nigerians & Awareness to Mental health

Nigerians need more awareness and clarity on mental health. A good number of us actually think mental health is only for people with psychological issues.We haven’t fully come to terms with the fact that there is no health without mental health.

Cause of increase in Depression
The word is becoming more complex. Culture is changing. Economy is worsening. The rules of parenting, relationships and success are being redefined. Social media is brewing envy and jealousy.

These complex engagements are ultimately climaxing some emotionally unstable adults into a state of unhappiness, hopelessness, helplessness, self esteem issues, inferiority complex etc. Once all of these states set in and your internal affairs are more disempowering than empowering. You will question your existence. Once you feel you are not good enough, nobody cares about you, the world will be better without you.Suicide becomes attractive. Suicide is however not an option. There are at least five other options you can embrace and we can show you how at Emotions City.

In Interviews&profile August 25, 2018 By Women of Rubies

“I AM AN UNREPENANT OPTIMIST AND A FIRM BELIEVER THAT OUR DREAMS ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR” – TOLULOPE BABAJIDE

Tolulope Babajide, the Lead strategist of Ink & Ideas Consulting is a passionate and creative Communications specialist. A 2006 graduate of English and Literary Studies, Tolulope started her career in Advertising as a copywriter and swiftly moved into core journalism at the defunct 234Next as a copy editor, Arts and Culture reporter and a columnist.

Since then she has worked in the Non profit sector as a Communications and Programmes strategist and also consulted with organizations on grants writing, rapporteuring, social enterprise strategy. She is highly committed to using communication in changing human narratives and excited in helping organizations get their writings done more creatively

“Growing up in family where intellectual conversations are held around the dining table helped me to be in constant search for knowledge/”, Tolu says as she shares her story with me in this interview.

Early life
I grew up in Ilesa, Osun State and as a young girl, all I was surrounded with was books and thought-provoking conversations. My dad had this huge library (at least to my eight-year-old mind) and he compelled us to read as many books as we could. He encouraged us to read across all genres, so one minute am reading medical textbooks, the next minute am buried in Wole Soyinka’s books. This has particularly helped me in having a rich imagination which has in turn strengthened my writing skills. My parents made it their priority to consciously train children whose minds are not controlled by their environment and backgrounds. Through the books I read, I went and experienced so many cultures even when I haven’t been there physically.

Meet Me!
My name is Tolulope Babajide. I am a graduate of English and Literary Studies. I am a Communication specialist with the belief that any narrative can be changed with the right approach of communication. I started my career as a copywriter, then as a journalist at the defunct 234Next newspaper and moved into Development Communications (Nonprofits).
I love learning new things, this is what drew me to online learning. I don’t miss out on any opportunity to stimulate my brain. I am an unrepentant optimist and a firm believer that our dreams are worth fighting for unless they remain just dreams.

Inspiration behind my initiative Ink & Ideas Consulting
The inspiration behind Ink & Ideas Consulting is the need to do more and be more, a bespoke content creation agency with services including speech writing, grant writing, rapporteuring and social enterprise strategy. It has always been my side hustle, from helping people to write compelling grant applications to crafting human centered and creative speeches to offering my scribing services to organizations and strategizing with social enterprises. I finally got to the point that I wasn’t comfortable again having it as just a side gig. I believe that there are millions of grants for nonprofits and startups in Nigeria, all they need is a passionate grant writing agency who will go all in. There is also an urgent need for creativity to be infused into speeches; most of the speeches I hear today lacks the passion and not memorable at all.
Rapporteuring/report writing also has become one service that is undervalued in Nigeria. There is a need for every organization to have an objective, accurate record of their retreats and business meetings.

Impact of working in the print media and advertising sector for a while
I am particularly grateful that I started my career in Advertising as a copywriter. It gave expression to my creativity and helped me to receptive to endless possibilities in life. On a lighter note, it helped me discover my very playful side. In the print media, I learnt a lot from the industry’s best, the likes of Molara Wood, Kadaria Ahmed, Dele Olojede, Victor Ehikhamelor etc. My time at 234Next newspaper is still one of my most exciting experiences in life; there I learnt that the world is not just black and white. That I can question status-quos and not be put in a box of conformity.

Helping organisations in the non-profit sector write grant proposals
It was my move to Abuja that exposed me to the Nonprofits industry. There I learnt that living for oneself is selfish and smallminded, there are tons of great causes to advocate for. Having worked on projects including Female Genital Mutilation, Immunization, Adolescents Access to Family Planning Services, Maternal and Newborn Health, I discovered that I enjoyed helping these causes to raise funds through grant writing. There are many great nonprofits who really need a funder so that they can scale up their activities.
There was this Cancer Outreach nonprofit that I worked with on grant writing. They go into very rural areas to screen women for breast and cervical cancers; we can all attest that it is not cheap to get test kits for the screening. Nonprofits like this need donors’ money to be able to continue with their good work.

Challenges
I just moved from Abuja to Lagos. I guess that that is a challenge in terms of building networks and making them see reasons why they need my services. But the prospect of meeting new people, businesses is exciting and am all in for the ride.

What next?
I am presently working on projects that advocate for Adolescents to have a safe, no-judgement access to Sexual Reproductive services in Nigeria. I am also passionate in the fight against Female Genital Mutilation, I believe that no female should be cut. I am blessed to have this bubbling energy that enables me to collaborate with people on projects that are dear to my heart. It is an ongoing journey and am excited about it.

Reward
Getting into the Cherie Blair Foundation Fellowship for Women in Business is one reward that I am so grateful for. I just became a Mentee in the Foundation’s Mentoring Women in Business and it runs for a year. Being peered with my International mentor will redefine my game and belonging to this awesome community will strengthen my networking and business skills.

My view on the advocacy and development sector in Nigeria and access to funding
The advocacy and development sector are doing a lot and they should be commended. I cannot imagine a Nigeria without the tireless input of this sector. Nationwide Immunization success will not have been possible without organizations like Gates Foundation, GAVI, John Hopkins etc.
Still on the immunization angle, I believe that there is an inadequate funding. There are new vaccines that are unaffordable for the common man; vaccines like Rotavirus, Chicken Pox, Typhoid, Meningitis etc. It will be great if these vaccines can be subsidized, there shouldn’t be anything like ‘Special Vaccines’. All vaccines are important.

Women in advocacy not celebrated
They are appreciated majorly in the terms of salary and emoluments but not celebrated.

My Inspiration…
My kids inspire me to be more in life. That might sound so cliché, but it is so true. They are my greatest motivation. Also, the need to touch everyone I meet positively. People need to know they are needed, respected and their opinions are valid even if it disagrees with mine.

Being a woman of Rubies
My refusal to be broken by life’s pitfalls. It doesn’t matter how many times I fall, I keep on standing up. I don’t have the luxury of giving excuses. I am also not shy in blowing the horn of another woman. Rising together as women is the sweetest. What is the essence of living in a castle if you are going to be there alone.

Advice for young women who want to go into the communication sector
Read, Read and Read. It stretches your mind and gives you insights into a variety of subjects. Don’t be that woman that knows only one thing, be all compassing. This will help in dealing with different clients from different sectors. Be flexible, learn how to be a people’s person.

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