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Marriage pressure is one of the biggest challenges folks in their 30’s face. If you have experienced this, then this article is for you.

“Simisola, buy balloon na and do photo-shoot for your birthday”, Tayo said.

“Limme, I’m not buying balloon”

“Why nau? Buy jor so that we can post fine pictures on Instagram”

“Please you people should not go and display my age on my birthday on Instagram o”

Simisola’s 30th birthday was in a couple of days and she was sure her friends would want to announce her cross over to the world of the thirties. But Simi was vehemently against it. Tayo bullied, scolded and bashed her but she maintained her stand that she didn’t want a public announcement of her age. She just wasn’t ready for the questions friends and family would ask.

“So Simi, err… time is no longer on your side o, when are you getting married?’

Aunt Dayo her mother’s eldest sister had called her a couple of days ago full of praises. “SimiSimi peperempempe Peperempe, How are you my dear, your birthday is coming up soon o, Awon brother nko? when are we going to meet them, you are not getting younger o, don’t let your looks deceive you. Abi is there a problem? Shey you will come to my house let us discuss it. Plus Joke, that my friend, her son is back from the States, very fine boy….”

Her Mom had also called her to get ready for deliverance in her church soon.

Poor Simi, she’s beginning to think she has a problem and must marry the next man available.

So many ladies are in Simi’s shoes right now. The pressure from family, friends and the society is insane! Why are we like this sha?!

Society will force you to get married because according to them you are now “ripe for marriage”, saddling an otherwise good woman with a lifelong handicap.

We look upon a young unmarried lady as though she’s suffering from a vile disease just because she’s not married. A lady over the age of thirty soon becomes the butt of ridicule, accusations and meddling, by those around her. Of course there are many reasons a woman could remain unmarried – failed relationships, attitude, exposure, etc.

A lot of times people assume it’s because she has a bad character – in cases when it is, rather than ridicule them, why not help build and mold such women to be better.

Marriage is not the beginning and end of life. I have no doubt its meant to be beautiful and meaningful because it is God’s mandate, but only if you are in it for the right reasons with God’s leading, then it will be fine. Maybe not perfect but it will be fine.  Please don’t make marriage seem like the highest possible achievement a woman can ever have.

There are so many young, impressionable women out there, what advice are we giving?

Be a better woman so God can send the right man your way or you better hurry up and marry the next available guy because time is no longer on your side.

We need to realize that at the end of the day titles are meaningless where genuine feelings are nonexistent.

Stop worshipping the RING! Nigerians also need to change the mentality that the life aim of every woman is to be married and have children. Don’t get me wrong please, I am definitely not in support of the “You don’t need a man team” Hollup! Lol. I definitely need a man, but biko, please, let us marry for the right reasons, not because we want to please friends and family.

No be so? Please advise Simisola.

 

 

 

Some years ago, when I was in Law School, I posted something vile on my Facebook page. I believe it was during President Jonathan’s administration. I’m not sure what exactly he did at the time, but I was enraged – like so many other people around me and in diaspora.

I was so angry at whatever had happened at the time that I wrote something very nasty about the President. It was actually insulting.

The next day, I received a call from my Dad asking me what I posted on Facebook. I was confused; my Dad was not on Facebook, and secondly, because I write a lot on Facebook so I was wondering which particular one he meant.

“I don’t understand, Sir” I said.

In an angry tone he told me to remove whatever it was I wrote on Facebook immediately. I had completely forgotten about what I had written the previous day. So I went back to my wall wondering how my father knew what I wrote on Facebook. It must be a family member that can not mind their business, I concluded.

The only damaging post on my wall was the one about Jonathan. So I took it down. I was miffed that my freedom of speech was being infringed on by my Dad and whomever reported me to him. Nonsense.

Years later, I began to understand the essence of keeping your thoughts and everything you put on social media in check.

What is Social Media?

Wikipedia defines social media as “media use web-based technologies, desktop computers and mobile technologies (e.g., smartphones and tablet computers) to create highly interactive platforms through which individuals, communities and organizations can share, co-create, discuss, and modify user-generated content or pre-made content posted online. They introduce substantial and pervasive changes to communication between businesses, organizations, communities and individuals”

Now we understand that social media basically is a technological innovation that gives you a platform to communicate, interact and engage people most times “real time”.

Now let us look at what social media reach means :

It is defined as the total number of people you are able to reach across all of your various social media networks.

It is no wonder that many businesses are now dominating cyberspace and utilizing the many advantages of social media as an effective marketing tool.

The ‘koko’ is you are able to reach more people with your content on social media as a business or as an individual.

So as an individual, I’m present on all social networks, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter. So anything I post will not just be seen by my immediate followers, but their followers as well – especially if they share it to their space. My content is spreading. Your content could be good or bad, but it will definitely leave an impression about you.

What kind of impression do you want people having about you? Sometimes, we don’t care what people think; but what if whatever you leave out there could harm your career, relationship, family or business. Would you think think twice before posting anything and everything that comes to your mind?

Trust me, you don’t want your careless post reaching the wrong hands.

I read with dismay a comment on Funmi Iyanda’s post about marriage not being for her, and the guy that insulted Michelle Obama not having male children. News has it that he was suspended at work for his thoughtless comment.

When are we going to learn constructive criticism and stop being cyber bullies? What are you going to benefit from putting people down all the time? Even the Bible says “I will bless those who bless you and curse them that curse you”.

The rate at which we are so quick to insult people on social media is alarming! There are so many young impressionable people out there, what message are we passing to them?

Let your words/comments be geared toward building and destroying because they might eventually come back to haunt you.

It might have far- reaching consequence than you envisage, if not now, then later.

Be careful what you post on Social Media.

Source & Credit: Bellanaija