Temi Olajide - Women of Rubies

In Interviews&profile May 17, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Temi Olajide: Empowering Mothers To Navigate Parenthood In The Digital Age Through Mummyclinicc

Parenthood is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and countless questions. From sleepless nights to potty training, every stage brings its own set of hurdles. Thankfully, there are experts like Temi Olajide who are dedicated to providing parents with the knowledge and support they need to navigate these challenges successfully. As a Certified Child Sleep and Potty Training Consultant, as well as a Child Psychologist, Temi is revolutionizing the way parents approach child rearing in Nigeria and beyond.

Meet Temi Olajide

Temi Olajide is a trailblazer in the field of child psychology and parenting. She proudly holds the title of Nigeria’s first certified child sleep consultant and is the Founder and Lead Strategist at Mummyclinic Global Services, a groundbreaking organization established in December 2017. Mummyclinic is an online platform that offers practical strategies and result-driven solutions for the everyday challenges of raising children.

Temi’s Journey

Temi’s journey to becoming a renowned child sleep and potty training consultant began with her own experiences as a mother. Faced with the difficulties of juggling the demands of life and motherhood, she recognized the need for comprehensive guidance tailored to the digital age. Determined to find solutions, Temi delved into the world of child psychology, equipping herself with the knowledge and expertise needed to help other mothers facing similar struggles.

Mummyclinic Global Services

Mummyclinic Global Services is more than just a sleep training platform for children in West Africa. It serves as a lifeline for mothers, providing them with the necessary tools to successfully navigate the demands of modern-day parenting. Through personalized consultations, online resources, and a supportive community, Temi and her team empower mothers to combine the requirements of life and motherhood effectively.

Impacting Lives

Since its establishment, Mummyclinic Global Services has made a profound impact on the lives of countless mothers and their children. Within the first year alone, Temi successfully worked with over 1500 mothers, guiding them through the challenges of child rearing and ensuring their little ones received adequate sleep and effective potty training. Her approach is holistic, taking into account the unique circumstances and needs of each family.

Expertise and Accomplishments

Temi Olajide’s qualifications extend beyond her certification in Child Psychology, Potty Training, and Child Sleep Behavior. She holds a B.Sc. in Chemistry, a certification in Introductory Journalism from the London College of Media and Journalism, and a Makeup Artistry and Aesthetic Spa certification. Her diverse skill set enables her to offer a well-rounded approach to parenting, considering both the emotional and practical aspects of child-rearing.

Wi-Fi Kids and Analog Parents

In addition to her consulting work, Temi is the author of the highly acclaimed book “Wi-Fi Kids and Analog Parents.” This comprehensive guide equips parents with the knowledge and tools necessary to raise well-rounded children in the digital age. Drawing from her expertise and personal experiences, Temi provides valuable insights and practical strategies that help parents strike a balance between technology and essential life skills.

Temi Olajide’s journey from being a concerned mother to becoming a leading figure in child psychology and parenting is an inspiring one. Through her organization, Mummyclinic Global Services, she has transformed the lives of numerous mothers and children, offering guidance and support in the complex world of child-rearing. Her dedication, expertise, and commitment to empowering parents in the digital age have solidified her status as a trusted authority in the field. With Temi’s guidance, parents can confidently navigate the challenges of raising children while ensuring their well-being and success in today’s ever-changing world.

Connect with Temi Olajide

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mummyclinicc/

Website: https://mummyclinicc.com/

In self development July 12, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Temi Olajide: How to Help Your Children Through Difficult Situations

Often times, children (especially the younger ones) may not have the ability to verbalize their feelings. As a parent, it is your duty to observe them carefully for any signs of stress. Stress symptoms may be long or short – it all depends on the severity of the situation.

As a parent, you would have gone through one difficult situation or the other – but when it comes to your kids, you sometimes might not have an idea on how to help them cope with difficult circumstances.

Life will always have its ups and downs and the earlier kids know how to cope in these kinds of situations, the better for them. The first thing to do when something negative happens is to answer their questions – this helps them understand what’s happening and teach them how to cope in the future.

Stress symptoms may include one or a combination of the following:

There may be changes in eating, sleeping, or bathroom habits
Children may experience increased separation anxiety
They may experience bad dreams
Crying spells
Kids may become withdrawn
Increased aggressive behavior or unnecessary tantrums

How can you help your children cope with stress? Here’s what you can do:

Encourage kids to express their feelings. Allow them to express whatever it is they’re experiencing and let them know it is okay to feel the way they do.
Ensure that they follow routines as much as possible. In addition, ensure they eat healthy meals and rest adequately.
For older kids, allow them read books that’ll teach them about characters in stressful situations – they will learn how to cope.
Encourage your kids to exercise. Simple exercises such as dancing, walking and swimming can help reduce the effect of stress.

If a child isn’t adjusted properly and is still showing signs of stress after a long period of time, it is in the best interest of the child that you seek professional advice immediately.

Helping Children Deal with Traumatic Events

In traumatic situations, children often react in different ways, depending on their personality. While some continue as though nothing happened, some may experience sadness or worse still, depression. If your child is experiencing difficulty, it is important that they are provided with the love and stability to help them process and overcome the situation.

Here are some guidelines to help you:

Answer children’s questions

The aftermath of an accident or dramatic incident may leave children with a lot of questions. Just like us, kids also need their feelings acknowledged, as well as an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Also, ensure that your explanation of the event matches the child’s developmental understanding.

Reassure them as much as you can

Physical contact such as holding and hugging not only reassures your little one, it’s also a great way to help your child feel safe. In addition, you can help the child feel better about the situation and provide comfort without giving wrong information or false hopes. For example, saying “I am sure everything is going to be fine” will help to put your child’s mind to rest.

Remain observant

Ensure that you keep a watchful eye on your child even as their thoughts and feelings about the situation evolves. Listen to them, ask questions and continue to reassure them as much as you can. Most importantly, give them the opportunity to express themselves.

Remember that life comes with its challenges and it’s your duty as a parent to teach and show your child(ren) how to go through life by handling these difficult situations positively.

In self development May 2, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Temi Olajide’s “Wifi Kids And Analog Parents” book Is a Must Have This Season

The global pandemic has changed almost everything in the world, from working, parenting, friendships and even relationships. Parents who had little time with their kids, are now full-time, round the clock parents.

Screen-time and playtime have increased and many parents are finding it hard to strike a balance between home-schooling and working-from-home life . Temi Olajide’s timely fast selling book; “Wifi kids and analog parent” is the solution to that dilemma.

A must have parent-kid book that addresses the changes in the dynamics of parenting in this age, and how to handle those changes. It provides the much-needed guide for raising children in the digital age. It is so all-encompassing and it highlights the pros and cons of the digital age, sex education for kids, understanding and communicating with children in the digital age, constructing boundaries, among other salient issues bordering on parenting in the digital age. We need to understand what our digital children really require us to allow them to thrive and navigate successfully in this age

According to Temi; “Wifi Kids and Analog parents” helps you adapt quickly to the new trend of the world , and give you clarity on how to balance your work time with your parenting duty, It is a book for all season but most importantly this new phase of uncertainty the world is experiencing.

Click here to order your copy, or buy for friends who need it https://paystack.com/pay/wifikidsanalogueparents

You can also order via her Instagram page Here

About Temi

She is a Certified Child Sleep / Potty Training Consultant and Child Psychologist. Temi is Nigeria’s first certified child sleep consultant, Founder and Lead Strategist at Mummyclinic Global Services, founded in December 2017. Her organisation hosts an online platform that provides strategies and result-driven solutions to the challenges of child-rearing.

In Editor's Choice May 17, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

Temi Olajide: I Want To Help Working Mums Enjoy Motherhood While Achieving Their Goals

Temi Olajide is a Certified Child Sleep / Potty Training Consultant and Child Psychologist. She is Nigeria’s first certified child sleep consultant, Founder and Lead Strategist at Mummyclinic Global Services, founded in December 2017. Her organization hosts an online platform that provides strategies and result-driven solutions to the challenges of child-rearing. The organization which is also a sleep training platform for children in West Africa helps mothers to successfully combine the requirements of life and motherhood while responding correctly to the peculiarities of the digital age. She successfully worked with over 1500 mothers within the first year of establishment.

Beyond her certification in Child Psychology, Potty Training and Child Sleep Behaviour, she holds a B.Sc. in Chemistry, a certification in Introductory Journalism from the London College of Media and Journalism and Makeup Artistry and Aesthetic Spa certification.

Temi is also the author of the fast-selling Amazon book; Wi-Fi Kids and Analog Parents, a comprehensive book that equips parents on how to raise well-rounded kids in the digital age.

She shares her story in this interview.

Childhood Influence

I will say yes, my parents did their best to live intentionally and their lives were transparent to us and were both great role models. I wanted to be a modified version of them though not with as many kids, by the way, I’m the first and only girl with three brothers.

I would also my parents lives parented me, I would have loved for them to have been more approachable early on in my life because there are some experiences you would have loved to share as a young girl growing up, but typical Nigerian parents then weren’t that approachable, the fear of some many other things wouldn’t allow that, lol. But they never lived a lie, so I grew up using their lives as a guide, which I usually encourage parents to do. If you cannot do so much, just be a good example because your kids can see through you and learn just to be like you as many parents don’t practice what they preach and that’s where you start to lose your kids.

Inspiration behind Mummyclinicc

Mummyclinicc was founded to empower mums on how to overcome day-to-day mummy challenges by providing them with quick hacks and solutions, achieve work and life success, and improve their well-being and state of mental health while they raise well-rounded children in this digital age.

Let me share a background story of what prepared me for mummyclinicc.

After marriage, I sat down one day and analyzed what kind of mum I wanted to be. I wanted to be that mum that enjoyed her life and work while raising my kids. But the narrative around me didn’t reflect what I desired. The narrative I saw was that as a mum you will experience sleepless nights, it’s overwhelming, tiring, and exhausting, it’s either you choose your career or your children, and it’s not fun and fulfilling asides having these babies. I didn’t want my life to be all these. I know being a mum is very challenging but I said to myself since I can’t avoid it so why not look for easier ways to overcome these challenges and enjoy the journey, I started to seek knowledge and read books to find solutions. I wanted to change this narrative so that I can enjoy this journey despite the challenges. So I became deliberate from day one when I got pregnant with my first. And that was the beginning of being an intentional mum, I didn’t leave things to chance except pray for God’s guidance and blessings on my effort as I knew God wouldn’t come down to do my job. Then the digital age came, joined Instagram in 2016 and I saw many mums struggling and unhappy with the journey of motherhood, I remember always seeing posts of mums struggling with getting their kids to go to bed early, sleeping through the night and potty training and I always told myself, this shouldn’t be a problem any mum should be facing, I can help but didn’t know how

I will have sleepless nights many times thinking why will these mums be going through all this when solutions exist but I am a very private person and thinking of how I will cope with social media which can still be a struggle times though.

Then my late dad’s funeral will play again in my head, Temitope, if you die today, what value will you have added to mankind? So I decided to finally take a plunge and live my dreams because I knew I was called to help working mothers. I knew it was time to overcome my fears and start to fulfil my dreams of helping more mums than those around me and adding more value to humanity.

I knew 80% of our problems are solved as mums if raising our kids gives us some form of peace and joy.

I’m always unhappy and troubled when I see or hear other mums unhappy and overwhelmed because this was what I wanted to avoid as a mum and I know they can also achieve it if they allow me to help them. This was how Mummyclinicc was birth. Taking mums from exhausted/overwhelmed to enjoyment despite our challenges.

Being Nigeria’s first certified child sleep consultant

We have been able to sleep train over 700 children in our sleep school and it’s amazing how you see the lifestyle of mums transform and become productive when their child’s sleep habits and sleep is improved. We’ve witnessed improved bonding between husbands and wives as they get more time to spend with each other as soon as the kids are in bed and not witnessing any interruption in their beds through the night too. We have had testimonies of children feeding better, behaving calmer, becoming healthier and doing better at school due to improved sleep lifestyle and so many more.

I’ve heard some mums say why to hire a sleep consultant, our parents didn’t sleep-train us until I explain to them that life sleep-trained us. Imagine our lives without the internet, youtube, 24-7 Tv programs, phones, tabs, and generators. Everyone including our parents went to bed early by 10 pm after the news and we kids after dinner, so we were able to enjoy the benefits of sleep. But imagine our lives now and the benefits of sleep and our physiological body system are still required, our bodies are still the same and don’t understand the Internet age but we are depriving it of the benefits. Even as adults, inadequate sleep is leading to many illnesses now and it’s during consolidated adequate sleep that our brain cells are repaired and our children’s growth hormones are developed.

Leaving the banking industry to pitch my tent as a Child sleep and potty training advocate

I left the banking industry after having my first child to give me more time to be hands-on with him and I didn’t have a lot of support around me at that time as my mum wasn’t in the country. I also wanted a career as a business consultant because that was my desire after graduating from school which I am today which I combine with Mummyclinicc. I became a Child sleep and potty training consultant solely out of a passion to help other mums. I just want every other working mum out there to enjoy motherhood while achieving their dreams and raising well-rounded children. That this is doable.

Work-life balance of being a certified Potty Training Consultant, Child Psychologist, Wife and Mom

I have immense support from my husband, my children and my mum, they’ve been a great help. And there is something I never fail to do, asking for help, even if it will cost me.

Being Intentional with my life has also helped, me plan my day. I guard the use of my time jealousy as I know time is life. I also started to involve and integrate my kids at a very young age with house chores and my work, so that helped as well. I refuel regularly by taking care of myself and doing what I enjoy doing I ditched perfectionism. Nothing like a perfect mum or wife, I just work at being the best for my family.

Finally, I prioritize. I focus on what’s important each time, so I’m able to give my best to whatever I choose to focus on.

Other projects and activities

Asides from our sleep and potty training services, as a child psychologist I also help mums through our classes and mummy coaching programs on building trust with their children, getting kids to listen and cooperate with them, sex education for kids, confidence and positive personality building for lifelong success and other challenges mum face.

Challenges of Being a Social Entrepreneur

Poor Internet Services in our country are a major for me because we work with mums across the world, and poor internet connection makes it more frustrating in helping as many mums as we will love to help as our platform is majorly using the online space to reach out.

Collaborating with people and organizations can be a herculean task also in our Country especially pitching our services to organizations to help women employees become more productive.

Lack of funds to expand is also a major challenge. We don’t want to only help mums that can afford our services or be able to access the free resources we give daily on our platform only

Potty Training Nuggets

The first thing about potty training is education. We advise mums to educate themselves before getting started. Many times we just want to jump into potty training, get potty and tell the child to sit on it. That is why many children wouldn’t cooperate so easily with us on the first try.

Secondly, the type of potty matters, imagine sitting on a toilet that is too low, high or the toilet bowl is too wide for your bum, you wouldn’t be comfortable and enjoy the process of using it, likewise with children, comfort matters especially something you’re weaning them into, if not it becomes a stressful process for you and your child.

My fast-selling book Wi-Fi Kids and why it’s a must-have for every parent

It’s a must-have because it addresses the changes in the dynamics of parenting in this age compared to ours and how to handle those changes, it provides a much-needed guide for raising children in the digital age. It is so all-encompassing and it highlights the pros and cons of the digital age, sex education for kids, understanding and communicating with children in the digital age, and constructing boundaries, among other salient issues bordering on parenting in the digital age. We need to understand what our digital children require from us to allow them to thrive and navigate successfully at this age.

I use this analogy, our parents were trained with walls, and our walls were our churches, schools, mosques and family. We believed everything we were told because there was no other source of information. Imagine our mothers telling us then that if a man touches us, we will get pregnant and we believed, even a 2year old in this digital age will say, Mum, why are you lying, it’s impossible. We should understand that we are raising our children now with no walls, if you lie to them, google is now everyone’s new friend. Learning and information are not limited to what we were limited with, so you will agree with me that the tactics that are used to find battles in a place with walls/restriction are different from a place with no walls, no walls means more danger, confusing to navigate and porous to attack. Parenting Strategy has to be different, which is why my book is a must-have for every parent at this age, nothing to do with you being techy, it’s a mindset shift!

To Moms who are finding it hard to get the necessary support and resources, they need to train their children.

Honestly, not every mum will get desired support from families and friends, but thank God for the online space, support and resources that now exist compared to when I was having kids.

If you can’t get free help, if you can afford to pay for help and support, please do. I did and I’m still doing so I’m not a fan of giving excuses, whining and blaming my circumstance for not having the support I desire.

Trying to figure things out in this digital age is becoming more costly than the cost of seeking help from people. I remembered when we were growing up, it took a village to raise us, our parents will go to their friends, neighbours, pastors and school for help and support, but at this age, everyone is keeping their problems to themselves, you don’t want people to know your challenges before they spread it around (which can be understandable because there is a trust issue in this age) but it still doesn’t take away the fact that you need to seek help when needed because we can’t do this alone, and that is why if you can’t get it free please seek professional help on time before its too late, everything happens so fast in this age.

Government and the child health sector

I believe they should have improved medical child-friendly facilities for children as parents will be more comfortable in taking their children to the hospitals without self-medicating which usually leads to more complications. Then if they can make access to medical facilities free for children, it will reduce child mortality rates as parents will take their kids quicker for treatments rather than self-medicating or figuring it out instead of waiting till the last minute and health deteriorated.

Challenges Mum faces

I would say one of the major challenges is having to get their children to listen and cooperate with them without having to shout, spank or nag them and knowing appropriate ways to discipline and set boundaries with the peculiarities of the digital age.

Dear Mums….

Dear mum, There is nothing like this how things are when you become a mum, you must have sleepless nights, shout, nag, be overwhelmed, and give up something for something. Times have changed and help is here, Solutions exist. Please reach out for help, no mum deserve to suffer in silence.

You deserve to live the best version of yourself while raising the best version of your children. Remember you can’t give what you don’t have and your kids will most likely be like you or a better version of you. The question is what version of you are your kids seeing and learning from?

At mummyclinicc, we provide quick proven solutions to all your worrisome mummy headaches, while you achieve work & life success to live a healthier life and improve your well-being and state of mental health while you raise the best version of your child in this age and enjoy your mummy life.

We can be reached through our website www.mummyclinicc.com and our Instagram page @mummyclinicc.

In self development November 12, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

TEMI OLAJIDE: HEY MUM, ARE YOU OVERWHELMED? IT’S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP

I remember my life as a young mum, having to take care of my toddlers and still go to work. On this particular day, I was so overwhelmed and exhausted and started to wonder if this was what motherhood was all about. How long was I going to continue like this? I felt so helpless that I broke down in tears.

This wasn’t the plan. I want to take care of my kids and also excel in my work as a mum. I discussed with my husband about how I felt and how he needed to help with school runs and some other things. Lo and behold, he agreed immediately. I then asked him why he didn’t suggest to help out all this while. I mean, must I get to this point before you help? He then said something profound, “You never asked for help.”

Interesting!

Anyway, this is history. After that, I learned the act of asking for help, not just from my husband, but from anyone around me that could be of help, even if it will cost me money. I am happy to say that since then (over 10 years ago), my life has been less overwhelming.

Life as a mum can be pretty demanding and overwhelming. You are faced with basically the same routine and responsibilities on a daily basis. Having to cook, prepare the kids for school, do their homework, handling home chores and to cap it all, you have to work too.

Many times, we are so overtaken by all these demands and it starts to take a toll on your life. It starts to affect everything from physical appearance to emotions, mental health, and even your relationships.

So, how do you know you’re overwhelmed. Here are a few telltale signs:

You feel disorganized. Everything seems out of place at work and at home
You are anxious. You worry about everything, even the little things.
You don’t get enough sleep or you have difficulty sleeping.
Zero focus. You go through each day as it comes, you have nothing to look forward to. No drive or goal to achieve anything.
You feel depressed and unhappy. You’re unexcited about life and even the small wins you achieve means nothing to you.
Health challenges start to surface. Frequent headaches, chest pains, high BP or worse, heart attack.

Tips to help you overcome being overwhelmed:

Feel free to talk to a friend or someone about how you feel and use any good suggestions given.
Learn to break down your tasks in order of priority.
Learn to say NO. It is better to turn down a request than take it up and not do it properly.
Learn to ask for help from family, friends or siblings so you can focus on other tasks.
Tell your spouse how you feel and how you want him to help.
Take time out to cool off, watch a comedy, listen to music, take yourself to lunch, watch a movie or just take a nap.

Having done all these, pray! Always rely on God for help, wisdom, and direction.

Benefits of not being overwhelmed:

Your mind is open to opportunities.
Your mind is free from self-imposed limits, you start to see solutions rather than problems.
Your mind is free of negative thoughts and feelings.
You have better chances to love and be loved by others.
You have increased energy to take action on your tasks/goals.
You have more time to spend with your kids and your partner.

As a mum, the less overwhelmed you are, the less stressed you are and the happier everyone is.

About the Author

Temi Olajide is a Certified Child Sleep Consultant and Child Psychologist.Co-founder of Association of Child Sleep Consultants of Nigeria and a member of International Association of Child Sleep Consultants.Founder of Mummyclinicc, an online platform that provides strategies & result driven solutions to the challenges of child rearing and helps mothers to successfully combine the requirements of life and motherhood while responding correctly to the peculiarities of the digital age. Temi is the author of Wi-Fi Kids and Analog Parents, a comprehensive book that equips parents on how to raise well-rounded kids in the digital age. www.mummyclinicc.com,Instagram @mummyclinicc

Source: Bellanaija

In self development September 24, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

TEMI OLAJIDE: THE BUSINESS OF PARENTING

Recently, I was having a conversation with a client, and as we continued the conversation, I said “parenting is a business and it must be treated as such”. Immediately, I said this, I looked at her and I could see that it took some self control for her not to roll her eyes at me. In that moment, I realised that there were probably a lot of mums out there who would probably not agree with this statement.

I could understand why this lady thought this way. We know that a business is the act of making, buying or selling products or services in exchange for money; so, classifying parenting as a business sounded absurd to her.

If you take a minute to think about it, you’ll realise that God placed the business of parenting in your hands. He also gave clear instructions when He blessed you with that child which is to train him up the way he should go!

In this digital age, everything you thought you knew about parenting has probably changed. However, our role as parents remain the same . Therefore, you cannot continue to use the ancient method you were brought up with, with your children and expect to get great results.

I have come to realize that when things are practicable, we understand it, because we can visualize it better. So, let’s relate it to real life business. As parents, you will do everything you can to grow in your business or career. You will pay business coaches, take professional courses, write qualifying exams, travel for days or months, if necessary, to progress in your field. However, when it comes to raising your child, you prefer to figure it out, make mistakes and wait for God to sort it out for you.

Can you progress in your business or career, if the knowledge you use is outdated? Imagine using the knowledge of 5,10, 20 years ago to operate in 2019? You would be out of a job if you had a career, or out of business if you were an entrepreneur as your competition must have taken over . In fact, it’s no news that if you want to succeed in business in this day and age, you must continuously innovate.

Now, if you must continuously innovate yourself or business to stay ahead of your competitors, why do you think it is okay to parent your kids in the same way you were brought up 20, 30 years ago? Why are you not seeking new ways to raise your digitized babies?

We have left raising our children to chance, the internet, gadgets, schools, teachers and religious organisations. We don’t do this to our businesses/careers? Why do that to your children? Your children are given to you to nurture, teach, guide and train and it is a role you shouldn’t take lightly.

Raising children in this digital age is different from our days where we were raised with restrictions. In the digital age, there are no restrictions. Everything is out there , whether you like it or not. This makes it challenging for parents to raise their children, if they don’t become deliberate and intentional about it. The days of trial and error are long gone. We need to start to seek help where necessary, because in this day and age it is so easy to lose a child.

Why?

Because the world is moving too fast and children are easily carried away if they aren’t brought up the right way.

Want to learn how to parent right and excel in this business of raising your child? Here are a few helpful tips:

Be a role model
Your kids are watching. 80% of your parenting is made easier if you practice what you preach to your children.

Speak positively
Rather than label your child in the negative light, use a positive approach. For example, rather than say you’re a liar, say, you know you’re not a liar, so why did you have to lie?

Create and spend quality time with them
Spending as little as 30 minutes a day, intentionally, will have more impact on them than not spending any time at all. Your children will also appreciate spending this time with you.

Invest in your kids’ talents and gifts
If they’re particularly skilled at something say singing, be their number one cheerleader. Gone are the days you have to be a medical doctor to be rich and famous.

Involve them in your day to day activities
Even if you run a tight schedule, you can bond with them through routine activities like ironing, cooking and cleaning.

Listen to them and don’t be too quick to judge
Your kids are human beings too, ask for their opinion on issues concerning them and listen to them.

Be quick to apologize when you’re wrong
Some of our parents are guilty for always wanting to be right and never apologising when they’re wrong. Don’t be that parent. In fact, don’t be too surprised if your little one calls you out for not apologising. We are in 2019 after all.

Invest in getting knowledge
Some of us need more help than others when it comes to parenting. If you think you need more knowledge to raise your child(ren), get it.

Teach them through life stories
Children often connect better with stories, so ensure you teach them valuable life lessons in the same way. In addition, it is okay to be vulnerable with your children.

Teach them the power of choice and consequences of decisions
Help them to understand that the choices they make can make or mar them for life.

Pray for them and with them
Prayer is key when raising kids in this day and age. But, remember you have a part to play before God can do His. Some parents are quick to hide under the umbrella of prayers and forget their responsibility.

While it takes a village to raise a child, being an intentional parent, who puts in some work and thought, will surely help in the long run.

Source: Bellanaija

In self development July 20, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

TEMI OLAJIDE: HOW TO HANDLE MUM-GUILT AS A WORKING PARENT

As parents, we have to continue to look for strategies to integrate family and work to achieve success in both areas of our lives.

There has never been more working women in the world than we have today. In fact, according to a World Bank research in 2011, more than half (57%) of Nigerian women between the ages of 15 – 64 years old are in some form of employment.

So, the truth is that most women have to work to either support their partners, or to provide for their kids as a single parent.

As a result of this, many mums have no choice but to spend long hours away from their little ones. Most mums are often consumed with guilt, because they have to leave their children early in life to the care of either family, daycare/creche, nannies or after school programmes.

The truth is your reality requires you to work, so the earlier you embrace your decision, the faster you will find ways to deal with your mummy guilt. If you really had a choice, you’d probably take your little one everywhere with you. But the truth is you don’t; the next best thing is to manage the situation in the best possible way.

Now, if you realise that as a woman, you have no choice but to work, there are practical ways to handle the guilt that may plague you as a mum. Below are some examples of mummy guilt, and how they can easily be resolved.

If you realise that you don’t have the time to assist in your child’s academics
This can be a major problem if, due to a lack of supervision, the child isn’t doing well in school. I advise parents to find time to supervise when they get back home. But if you realise that you get back home too late, then it is advisable to get a trusted person to help with this.

However, even if you get a trusted person, you should still look through school work with your child when you get back home. Your child will appreciate the fact that you care about her academics and not just your job, and will most likely begin to excel in their school work.

If you have to hand them to the care of a nanny
It is best that you hire a nanny who is great with children, not just good with chores and cooking. Most mums hire based on cleaning and cooking skills, which is good, but it is important that your nanny can talk and play with your children . Hiring a nanny who loves to take care of kids will give you more peace of mind and comfort as a mum. You can go a step further to install CCTV equipment in your home (if you can afford it), to check them. Also, make impromptu check-ins when no one is expecting you to keep tabs on your child.

If you realise that your child clings to her nanny more than she does to you
Take out time to bond with your little one. You could give the nanny a day off at the weekend, or some hours off, so you can spend quality time with your child. You may be concerned about who will perform the nanny’s duties in her absence, but look at it as a way to bond with your child – you can even bond over house chores.

Whatever you decide, be rest assured that the house will not fall apart in the nanny’s absence. In addition, you’ll be creating unforgettable memories as you spend precious time with your little one.

If you’re not patient with them
Yes, you want the best for your child, but nagging constantly about mistakes they have made will not make things better. You are already hardly at home; you don’t want them happy mum isn’t home often, because all she does when she is is shout and nag all day.

In addition, learn to be patient and forgiving. Set consequences in place for repetitive bad behaviour. Also, teach your child it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as they learn to stop repeating the same mistake.

Help them understand that they are functions of the decisions they make – good or bad. Take time to talk to them and explain why you make certain decisions, rather than staying on the edge many times due to stress.

If you’re calling them names or abusing them
Hurling insults and abusive words make children feel bad and emotionally unbalanced. Learn to define them with what you expect from them, replacing abusive words with more positive words. For example, rather than call your child a naughty or foolish child, you can say I know you’re not a naughty or foolish child, so why did you do that? Also, instead of labelling your child an outright thief or a liar, you can ask, Why did you steal or lie?

It is okay to give age appropriate consequences for outright disobedience. Most importantly, learn to control your temper and emotions. This will make you overcome this guilt in no time.

If you do not spend enough time
This is a major issue that many of us parents struggle with. But I always tell parents to aim for quality time over quantity. Some mums are guilty of being in the same space with their child all day, yet they won’t take out time to play or bond with the child.

My advise: start with 15/30 minutes quality time every day with each child, and increase it as it suits your schedule, rather than no time together at all. This will go a long way in creating a bond with your little one, as kids do not care about how many hours you spend with them, but the quality of undivided time and attention you spent to play, talk or listen to them.

Finally, let’s learn to worry less and focus on what matters while we raise happier children. As parents, we have to continue to look for strategies to integrate family and work to achieve success in both areas of our lives.

Have any tips for dealing with mummy guilt? Please share with us in the comment section below.

In self development May 13, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

TEMI OLAJIDE: HERE’S WHY YOUR CHILD NEEDS TO SLEEP EARLY

Sleep training is basically a process of helping a baby learn to sleep well, teaching your child how to sleep independently without help like rocking, backing, nursing, carrying, etc., which usually adds to your stress as a parent.

While we all understand the importance of food to the body, we fail to realise that sleep is more important, and is an essential part of human development. In fact, it is possible to go days without food, but just try going three or four nights in a row without sleep and you just might start hallucinating. Yes! That’s how dangerous lack of sleep is.

Now, as a parent, when you’ve not had enough consolidated sleep, consecutively for say three days, how do you feel? Tired, cranky, exhausted, unproductive—the list is exhaustive. The same can be said for kids. Imagine what your children go through each day when they are not having enough sleep, especially four-month-olds and above.

Benefits of good consolidated sleep

They are more alert at school, and easily grasp and comprehend things. Yes, children tend to be forgetful because, of course, they are kids. But their attention span and comprehension is better when they have slept properly.
Increase in concentration level is also noticeably better.
They are physically and emotionally healthy, as the brain repairs and recovery takes place during consolidated sleep period.
The growth hormone in children is developed adequately during sleep.
Mummy time becomes possible. I mean, imagine putting your feet up after a long day, with a glass of wine while reading a book, watching your favourite TV show or catching up on BellaNaija. Of course, your child must be fast asleep for you to truly enjoy it.
Extra bonding time with your partner. Now, for me this is just the icing on the cake! Who doesn’t love bonding time with zero interruption from your little one.

Some of the things holding us back include:

Co-sleeping with your child
While this may be seen as bonding in the beginning, it is a long term recipe for disaster, because you’ll never be able to get enough sleep.

Guilt as a working parent
You know those times you tell yourself you’re just going to bond with your child, but really you’re just bonding with your phone after a long day.

Impatience
Sometimes, we are just so impatient to put the child to sleep. You just don’t want to stop what you’re doing at the expense of your child’s health.

Easily give in to your child
Your child wants to continue watching cartoons till 11 PM, and you agree so he/she doesn’t cry or disturb your peace. This is wrong whichever way you look at it. Who is the parent, who is the child?

5 signs to know your child’s sleep pattern needs to be improved:

Your child throws too many unnecessary tantrums. We sometimes wrongfully assume that it is “normal” for kids to throw tantrums, but it really isn’t.
Your child cries too much, especially in the mornings.
If you have to wake the child up in the mornings, and the child is refusing to wake up or sleepy till he or she is ready for school.
You are in and out of hospital many days, except your child has a form of health challenge.
You aren’t as productive as you should be as a mum.

Creating a sleep pattern for your child needs consistency and a realistic sleep routine. When you are having a bit of challenge creating a consolidated sleep pattern for your child, as a child psychologist who is also a sleep consultant, I just advise parents to sleep train the child.

Children need, depending on their ages, an average of about ten to fourteen hours of consolidated (uninterrupted) sleep every day, while newborns need about fourteen to sixteen hours. I hear some mums say, I wasn’t sleep trained or taught to sleep and I grew up great, why should I teach my child to sleep? But what we forget as parents is that life sleep trained us.

Remember in those days there were no gadgets, DSTV, YouTube, unlimited access to internet. Children’s TV stations closed 7 PM. Your parents went to bed after the 10 PM news. There was no generator and when power went off, everyone retired to bed. So we were sleeping well and having uninterrupted sleep.

Fast forward to this digital age with everything 24 hours. 24 hours access to the internet, generator, TV, phones, etc. This lifestyle is greatly affecting our sleep pattern, thus affecting the quality of our sleep and health.

That is why it’s necessary to help your child develop a great sleep pattern now. Imagine their lives ten years down the line if nothing is done now in this digital age.

If your child isn’t having enough sleep, or you as a mum aren’t, you’re harming both of you. Is this what you really want? Or would you like to do something about it today? Think about it.

Source: Bellanaija