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Men lie, women lie. Even kids are quite good at the game, too.

It’s something about the human nature… a way of getting out of a difficult situation, it’s about deceiving people into believing or doing something we want them to do.

For men, the lies told are quite unlimited. In their relationships with wives and girlfriends, 10 lies seem to be so widespread that some now believe that 18 out every 20 men are guilty of these lies.

So what are the lies that men seem to enjoy telling?

1. I’m single

This is a very classic one. Men seem to lie about their relationship/marital status all the time, and if you ask 10 women, about 7 of them will tell you they have been told this lie at least once.

2. I love you

The reason for this is usually to a woman to get into a relationship with them and to make her comfortable enough to have sex with them.

3. It’s only you, I swear

Says the man who has a side-chick somewhere, and a baby mama pregnant with his second illegitimate child.

4. “No sex before marriage”

He’ll say; “I promise not to have sex since that’s what you want” but once you say yes and enter the relationship, it’s a different ball game entirely.

5. “I’ll put just the tip”

When a man tells you he just wants to put ‘only the tip in,’ you know he’s really feeling the konji and would say anything to get laid.

6. “I will not move. Lemme just put it inside”

Another lie like the one above.

7. Sexual prowess

Men are also pretty good at painting a picture of themselves as the ultimate love-making machines.

They whet your appetite and make you ready to open up to them… but when the time comes to actually act on all those fantasies they have created in your head… they’re done in 2 minutes.

8. They lie about their whereabouts

For example, “I’m at home” when they are out with the guys or at their side chick’s place.

9. Lies about money

Unmarried men often try to impress women by lying that they have money, when they actually do not.

Married men lie to their wives that they do not have money, when they actually do.

10. Their source of income

Shout out to the Yahoo boys and other people who can’t proudly tell people about the kind of job they do.

Source: Pulse Ng

For a long time, I kept turning men off with my hard look. I wasn’t always smiling. A long face became a default and this made some men stay away. I had few people who approached me to correct me but I always felt they didn’t know what they were saying.

Ladies, do you want to be more approachable?

These days, a lot of men complain that it’s difficult talking to some girls because they either get shunned or don’t even bother approaching due to what they sense from afar.

I decided to write on 3 quick tips to make you more approachable among many other tips.

  1. Can you just smile? That was what a man told me as I came out of the bank some weeks back. I wondered if it was his business to frown but the more I frowned, the more he said, “Please just smile”. But I thought about it later on that he must have had the boldness to tell me while some ignored me because I didn’t smile. It’s not easy for men to approach ladies but your smiling face and open external attitude can reduce the fear in them.

Smiling increases good life and good health too.  Please smile.

  1. Look smart, classy and bright: To be sincere, I’m visual and I like it when people look good. This morning, I approached a lady and said, “Your gown is fine.” She didn’t hear me well, so I repeated it three times for her to notice and she smiled back and said thank you. Who no like better thing?

Looking good enhances a friendly environment and attention. Looking hot is different from nudity.

I was bad with my dressing before I got married and it made me less attractive. I shared so many wrong things I did in my book; “How I Got The Ring”. It took a lot of conscious effort, research and intentionality for me to get better.

There is a part of you that enhances your beauty, enhance it well. I have soft and nice lips, but at least, I can add a touch of wet lips or lipstick. Please don’t use lipstick to get a man if you will not use it after marriage.

Looking good is first from the mind so it has to reflect. You may look good and still not be approachable; you need to add the smile I mentioned above.

  1. Be humble and respectful: The only way to make a man feel a little comfortable when he approaches you is by responding to his little “HI or Hello” with a courteous response. It speaks a lot. Don’t just treat people like they are nothing.

The fact that he is shorter than you want doesn’t mean you should ignore him. Be nice, you may meet again. The fact that he wasn’t in a car doesn’t mean he is not valuable either. You may be surprised at where you will meet him later on. Be careful to create a good impression even if you don’t attend to his offer.

Not all friendships should become intimate relationships so build other kinds of relationships intentionally.

What are the other ways to become approachable?

I know we have a lot of them, do tell me some.

 

About Nike

Nike Adedokun Folagbade helps singles build healthy relationships via break up, dating and relationships coaching.

Her goal is to help many singles recover from heartbreaks, attract and keep the right partner and build healthy relationships.

She has been featured in numerous magazines, newspaper, television and radio programs like Channels, The Punch, Business Day News, CoreTv, The guardian, City fm, Happenings Radio amongst others.

Her Facebook group, The Right Partner Community is targeted at helping one single at a time achieve their relationship milestone. She blogs at www.nikefolagbade.com and can be reached via adenikeadedokun@gmail.com or hello@nikefolagbade.com

 

Sometimes the line between like and love can be hard to distinguish. We’ve all been in that one relationship with a guy where all the pieces fit together perfectly.

He was charming and smart and funny and sweet and you get along like gangbusters. But in spite of all of this, there was a little voice in your head wondering…

“Would we be better off just as friends?”

Let’s get one thing straight right now: There is nothing WRONG with friendship.

Friendship is dope as hell and really rewarding for the people in it. How can you tell if he’s a perfect boyfriend or better off as your bud? There are lots of different signs, but we’ve pulled together the big ones to help you out.

Here are 4  signs you and your boyfriend are better of just as best friends

  1. You can’t imagine a future together.

You’ve been dating exclusively for a little while now. So it’s natural you stop to think about the future.

Not so natural?

Maybe you just can’t picture it. Or you don’t like what you see. You like him a lot, maybe you even love him, but when you think about making a life with him in it you draw a blank.

2. You love him but not that way.

When your friends talk about how much they love their boyfriends you get worried. Sure, you LOVE your boyfriend, but you aren’t on cloud nine or anything.

He’s a great guy, you take care of each other, you’ve got a lot of common interests. But it doesn’t seem like the storybook love affair true love is supposed to be. That’s because it isn’t … it’s true friendship.

3. You hate living with him.

You guys have been living together for a while and… You can’t stand it. It’s not that you each have quirks and need to get used to each other.  It’s that you aren’t compatible as living partners romantically.  You’d be better off as buddies, hell, even as roommates.

4. You want to open the relationship up.

Your relationship is going just okay. You have sex, and it’s also just okay. You don’t want to break up because it feels like there’s no real reason to. But you want to open up the relationship so that you can meet new people. Boredom and dissatisfaction in your relationship is not a sign you should open things up.

It’s a sign you’re dating a friend and not a lover.

 

It’s hard to make a relationship stronger when your man is often negative. You must recognize the signs that he’s jealous and controlling early on. Don’t invest too much time in a non-productive partnership. If you find that he exhibits behaviors like these ten, you might need to find a new one before valentine :

1. He doesn’t call you, text you, or respond when you’re out with girlfriends.

It’s his way of showing you that he resents the time you spend with others because you’re not with him. If he isn’t happy, then he doesn’t want you to be happy. Like anything else in life that feels overwhelming, the feeling of being ignored when you’re doing something that makes you happy is not acceptable.

2. He won’t admit when he feels jealous, but he will withhold affection.

Sometimes he’ll refuse to be intimate, especially after he started a fight. It feels like he’s making you pay twice for his poor choice of behavior instead of accepting responsibility for his actions. You can tell if he really loves you by the way he looks at you.

3. He often makes excuses for not taking you out.

He doesn’t want you where you’ll attract attention from single men. If there is something he doesn’t want to do with you, then do it alone. Don’t let him hold you back or make you regret not doing things that make you happy. You are the one who decides how to live your best life!

4. He wants to decide the mood for both of you.

He will work hard to adjust any plans to be in control, and he will sabotage things he doesn’t want to do. When he’s feeling up, he expects you to feel the same. When he’s feeling down, he expects you to be miserable. You don’t get to have a say in what you do with your time together because he’s in control.

5. He will take steps to avoid being alone with you.

It’s hard for him to overcome jealousy. The underlying problem could be that you have both gotten into a boring intimacy pattern and he doesn’t want to admit it. You could spice things up and increase both of your libidos by trying something new, like taking tango lessons.

6. If you are in a really good mood, he cuts you down.

Or, he brings up something negative to change your mood. You know that positive thinking, especially daily meditation, will lower your stress levels. Even when you haven’t done anything wrong, he feels better about himself by bringing you down. This is because he suffers from low self-esteem or another personal problem that has nothing to do with your relationship. He is the jealous type, and his insecurities affect many of the days you spend together.

7. He resists your positive influences.

You can pray for him and wish him positive thoughts, but he should fix himself. You want him to overcome jealousy, but he enjoys being miserable. When you suggest taking a walk on the beach together, he says, “No, I’ll just stay home in my boxers and watch UFC. No fun today.”

8. To make you feel jealous, he pays attention to other women.

He often looks at them, flirts with them, and adds them to his Facebook or Snapchat. However, whenever this happens, you aren’t “allowed” to feel jealous. If you try it, he gets livid.

9. He leaves the restaurant if you talk to another guy.

He doesn’t give you a chance to explain that you are reconnecting with a long-lost friend or a college study partner.

10. He makes up details about past boyfriends.

You hate this because he does it in front of friends, colleagues, or members of the family. If he wasn’t insecure, he wouldn’t judge you for the past. A boyfriend who loves you will not use anything you might have shared to embarrass you.

Esther Ijewere™©

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A successful transition into marriage requires a good amount of work before the wedding day.

Getting married to your man is an exciting event to look forward to, but before you say your “I dos,” you need to do four things to ensure your relationship will last.

  1. Travel together

Going on a road trip will put you and your future husband in close quarters with each other for a long time. You will start to recognize different aspects of your relationship when you are stuck with him. Little annoyances, like singing loudly and off key to every song that comes on a radio is tolerable for the first 20 minutes, but after three hours in? Maybe not so much. You might discover that traveling with your man makes you or him more irritable with one another or more tolerable.

Being able to communicate during stressful conditions like getting lost or losing hotel reservations will help you solve problems together in the future when money is tight or your children have broken something expensive. If you can get through a long road trip together and look back on it with fond memories, consider it a green light for your marriage.

2. Discuss expectations

You most-likely have an expectation of how your marriage is going to operate. Perhaps you expect him to split the household chores evenly and for both of you to work full-time when you have children. On the other hand, he might expect you to stay home when you have children and do all of the household chores since you are a stay-at-home mom.

Before you get married, tell each other about your expectations for necessities like money, children, jobs and household duties. Most importantly, discusses your expectations for each other. You need to know what he expects of himself and of you. He needs to know what you expect of yourself and of him. Then compromise with one another.

3. Spend time apart

You love each other and therefore, you want to spend every moment together, but now is actually the time to spend time apart. Someone once said distance makes the heart grow fonder, which is true, but distance also make a relationship healthier. Men and women need companionship in friends and family. As much as your future husband loves you, he might not understand your need to talk for hours about everything under the moon, but your best girlfriend totally understands that need. Don’t be afraid to have a girl’s night without him.

If you don’t trust your man when he is away, you must learn to do so. Make expectations clear when it comes to talking to people of the opposite gender. Something to him may seem like a innocent action, but it could look like cheating in your eyes and vice versa.

4. Disagree with each other

If you always agree with your future husband, take a step back and think about your relationship. Disagreements, arguments and different opinions are important in a healthy relationship. Sometime down the road you are going to disagree about a course of action, so before you get married, it is vital that you learn to compromise.

5. Discuss expectations

You most-likely have an expectation of how your marriage is going to operate. Perhaps you expect him to split the household chores evenly and for both of you to work full-time when you have children. On the other hand, he might expect you to stay home when you have children and do all of the household chores since you are a stay-at-home mom.

Before you get married, tell each other about your expectations for necessities like money, children, jobs and household duties. Most importantly, discusses your expectations for each other. You need to know what he expects of himself and of you. He needs to know what you expect of yourself and of him. Then compromise with one another.

These four things will shed light on all aspects of your relationship. Understanding every side of your future husband will help your transition smoothly into your married life.

Are you dating a man child? Do you know the attributes of a man child? There are many men in relationships who behave like children and expect their women to keep putting up with their childish behaviour. They don’t know what it means to love and respect a woman. Some men still behave like babies who need to be bottle fed because they are still holding on to the archaic belief that men are like babies.

Such men are bad news. Women should stop putting up with them for the sake of their sanity. Women should be careful not to fall for the tantrums these men throw. They are the ones who believe that abuse is not bad. They subtly encourage emotional and psychological abuse. They use religion and culture to cover up abuse.

Here are 10 characteristics of a man child women shouldn’t ignore:

He refuses to grow up

A man child refuses to grow up. He believes that a woman must babysit him, take care of him and clean up after him. Dealing with this kind of man brings nothing but drama and heartaches. He expects you to wash his clothes, clean his apartment, clean up after his relatives, and pay his bills too. When he goes into debt, he expects you to bail him out. He expects you to always make excuses for his bad behaviour, rationalize his poor choices and please him at all costs.

He whines about not getting sex

When you are not in the mood to have sex, the man child throws a tantrum. He complains about not getting what he wants like a child he didn’t get his favourite candy. He remains in a bad mood and becomes distant for not getting what he wants. He punishes you for not having sex with him by being moody. He also gives you the silent treatment. He doesn’t care about you or your reasons for not having sex with him. He’s selfish. It’s all about him. You really don’t matter.

He avoids conflict

Don’t let a man make you feel like you are troublesome because you need to discuss an issue. That is one of the signs of a man child. He will tell you he doesn’t want to fight and  won’t engage in an argument. He will claim that you love fight too much instead of listening to your concerns and working with you to make sure your relationship continues to go smoothly. Sometimes, arguing is part of a healthy relationship.

He avoids responsibilities

He will try to get away with doing things for you no matter how little they are. If you need a ride to the airport, he will come up with excuses as to why he can’t do it. If you need help with your car, he has reasons why he just can’t be there.

He tries to make you jealous

If a man child is unfaithful, or flirts with other women in your presence, he dismisses your concerns about his irresponsible actions. When you say it makes you uncomfortable, he tells you that doing that is not technically cheating.

He is quick to stop his woman from advancing in her career

All a man child wants to do is play with you. So if you can’t join him for fun because you are working hard for yourself and making your own money, he is not excited for you. He is not proud of you. He only complains that you don’t spend time with him. he sees your advancement to the top as a threat to his masculinity. Dealing with a man child is stressful. It’s like everything you do or say is a problem.

He supports gender equality when it benefits him

A man child supports feminism only when it suits him and when his woman has to settle his bills. That is when he will shout gender equality until his voice goes hoarse. A man child will let you foot the bill every time, because you have a lot more money than he does or because you offer to do so. He won’t remember then that it is an abomination for a woman to pay for a man’s food or take care of his money needs.

He subscribes to toxic masculinity

He thinks to be masculine means to never discuss emotions. He sees men who show emotions as weak men. If you try to ask him about his feelings, he becomes irritated with you, as if you are crossing a line and shouts you down. A man child leaves you feeling like you did something wrong.

He splashes negative feelings everywhere

A man child can be a little bit too comfortable with his emotions. He may have been a spoiled child whose tantrums were never dealt with. He will go to your friend’s birthday party in a bad mood sulking about what happened to him that day. He will not control his emotions, even if that means ruining everyone else’s mood.

He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions

Such men don’t know what it means to be responsible or take responsibility for their actions. They blame you for cheating on you, blame you for being abusive and also blame you when things start going downhill for them. Such men find it hard to own up to their mistakes and actions.

Being beautiful is undoubtedly important, but it isn’t everything. A girl who is not so good-looking still can have many guys falling for her. The secret to attracting guys is not just being beautiful, as it definitely requires more than that.

The following traits make women desirable in the eyes of men:

  1. Your dress sense

Boys love women who are well-groomed, so take advantage of this. Girls often are confused about what to wear on their date so that their guy won’t be able to resist praising them. Wear something that is tasteful and looks great on you whenever he is around. A girl with a good dress sense knows how to look beautiful, as well as casual.

The common belief that whoever loves you won’t judge you is not true always. Wouldn’t you feel disappointed if your guy dressed in an untidy manner?

2. A tempting fragrance

Let your fragrance work for you when you say goodbye to him with a hug. Guys love it when their girl smells great. Spray the perfume on your wrists, around the neck, behind the ears and under the collarbone to ensure your fragrance lasts.

You can wear different fragrances on different occasions. Buy a variety of perfumes and see which works best for you. Luckily, you don’t have to step outside your home to buy them. With several fragrance e-stores available, you can grab great online deals on perfumes. Purchase an invigorating perfume and make it hard for your crush to resist the attraction.

3. High emotional IQ (EQ)

Being a girl, it is often expected that you will have deep emotions. That doesn’t at all mean that you fill your eyes with tears every time you hear a sad story, though. A woman with a high emotional IQ (also known as EQ) can encourage and inspire her man whenever he needs motivation. She will say the right things at the right time, instead of creating unnecessary drama.

4. Smile a lot (of course, not unnecessarily)

Guys go crazy for a girl’s smile. Your smile should be genuine and sweet. Don’t force a smile- otherwise, your guy may think of you as a freak. Also, when you are with him, give him all your attention and laugh at his jokes. Show him that you are happy with him. He will do the rest.

5. Debate with him and don’t lose it

An attractive, vacuous girl will be interesting only for a few hours. Most men want a girl who possesses knowledge of world affairs and can debate with them logically. Genuine guys actually love it when you show them that you have a high IQ.”

6. Don’t be judgmental

If you don’t like something about your crush, you can share your honest opinion with him. At the same time, don’t insult him for it and don’t make an issue of it. Having an opinion is good but being rude or negative about it is not appreciated.

7. Don’t show him that you are all his

Even if you want him very much, let him work hard for it. Don’t try too hard to please your guy, because otherwise he will take you for granted. Spend time with him and make sure that he starts liking you too before you express your love for him. Knowing how to make a guy chase you works wonders in your favor.

8. You should be passionate about something

Having a hobby and being passionate about it impresses guys. Girls with hobbies such as surfing, golfing, and driving really make men crazy for them. The common belief that says ‘men cultivate hobbies, women cultivate relationships’ is not true anymore.

9. Be kind to others

Needless to say, this is very important. Talk politely to everyone and be warm to others. This is important not just for impressing your guy, but also for the sake of humanity.

Source: Lifehack.org