“Have you ever been exploited or used by someone close to you”?

“Has someone ever exploited you with the guise of love”?

“Do you feel a person is trying to take advantage of you but still act nice “?

“Has someone ever gone into an agreement with you, then become very sneaky and try to cheat you”?

If your answer is yes, then this article is for you trust me.

Read on…

Exploitation doesn’t just happen in professional sectors. Exploiting behaviors can happen in your own platonic, romantic, and familial relationships, too. Anyone can try to take advantage of or manipulate you, and that can make building relationships scary.

Exploitation can be very sneaky and covert. But if you’re able to recognize the signs, you’ll be able to nip it in the bud before it grows out of control and takes over your life.

Here are 8 signs someone is exploiting you;


The easiest way to determine that someone is exploiting you is what they seem to be most interested in from you. Yes, some relationships are mutually beneficial due to certain aspects, but your entire bond shouldn’t hinge on something you can give them.

Someone who is taking advantage of you will likely be spending time with you for selfish reasons, to get something out of you. These things may include:






A membership to a franchise, store, gym, or another similar establishment


Emotional labor

If someone is only showing interest in being around you when one of these things is involved, they may be exploiting you. Sit them down and talk about your concerns, or establish a clear boundary on what you suspect they may be using you for, or stop offering that object at all. Their true colors will reveal themselves in time.


An exploiter often uses feelings like guilt and shame against you to coax you into giving them what they want. If you find yourself constantly feeling guilty to the point that it is affecting the decisions you make involving this person, they may have manipulated you to take advantage of you. It may feel like:

You are never giving or doing enough for them

They have been doing too much for you, and now you owe them

You are always making mistakes that you need to atone for

They are always suffering in some way or other, making you a bad person for saying “no” to them

Your actions, needs, or requests inconvenience them

It’s important to remember that you shouldn’t feel guilty for something forever. If you’ve atoned for a mistake, you needn’t make up for it for the rest of your life. One single action does not lead to a permanent need to atone. If a mistake you’ve made has ruined your entire relationship with someone to the point where it needs to be continuously made up for, it’s best to part ways.


Someone who is exploiting you will also often try to control you. They need you in their grasp to keep you compliant, after all, and it’s challenging to take advantage of someone who you can’t control to some degree. Someone who is controlling you may attempt to:

Prevent you from doing certain things

Push you to participate in specific actions

Stop you from spending time with other people

Influence your decisions

The tricky part about this is that an exploiter may not be transparent about their control. They may use reverse psychology, mind games, and emotional manipulation to convince you to do what they want you to do, so you have to be extra cautious to detect this behavior.

If someone is actively controlling you in a clear and direct manner by blackmailing you, using fear, or threatening violence, seek help immediately from the relevant authorities.


Indirect punishment is often not easily picked up on, as it doesn’t involve any obvious actions like hitting, shouting, or the declaration of a punishment. Instead, it involves a lot of passive aggression.

But even when passive punishment is not immediately apparent, you will likely notice it somehow. The negativity will cut through your positive thinking. It is through this method that an exploiter can punish you while maintaining an innocent and understanding facade.

Examples of indirect punishments are:

The silent treatment

Making things more difficult for you

Withdrawing already-promised assistance

Backhanded compliments

Saying things that can hurt you


There is no reason for an exploiter to be honest. If they were honest, they would tell you what their intentions are right off the bat, but that’s not what these manipulators do. They intentionally deceive you into achieving the results that they want. There’s no limit to what an exploiter may lie about. Some examples include:

Their life

Past or background

Personal values or opinions


Emotions or feelings

If you have reason to believe someone is exploiting you, you should take everything they say with a pinch of salt. Don’t expect them to be honest with you. However, you can call them out on their behavior and specifically request honesty from them and see if they change their tune. Still, someone so deceptive will need to regain your trust through positive actions, and you do not have to give it to them freely.


An exploiter can’t exploit you if they can’t find anything to use. As such, they may pay extra attention to your weaknesses. They may try to learn how to push your buttons to manipulate you. These weaknesses could be anything, from topics that tend to set you off, to your loved ones, to causes you’re especially sympathetic towards.

Though these weaknesses make you more susceptible to manipulation, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have them. These so-called weaknesses aren’t necessarily negative – they’re part of what makes you human. Of course, you care for your loved ones and hate when they are poorly spoken about. Of course, you believe in some causes and are passionate about them. That’s normal and healthy!

But it’s essential for you to keep in mind that these things that you feel strongly about can and will be used against you by an exploiter. By knowing this in advance, you can keep this in mind and be prepared.


A change in your self-esteem with no discernable trigger could be due to an unknown exploiter. Toxic and abusive behavior is a widespread cause of a decline in confidence, self-esteem, and positive thinking, and it can stay with you for years and years

Manipulators and exploiters can often undermine you and ruin your self-esteem because they continually make you feel reduced to one specific use. You may wonder if they even like you at all or if you’re worth spending time. You may wonder if you can ever do anything right, or if everything you do is destined for failure.

It’s crucial to keep in mind that your self-worth is not defined by anyone else. Only you can set it. If someone is exploitative of you, it doesn’t detract from your value or worth in any way.


Gaslighting is a very commonly performed behavior that typically involves making the victim feel like they’re going crazy or losing their grip on reality. They twist events and situations in their favor, implying that you’re misremembering those events. They may use phrases like:

“Maybe you just weren’t paying attention.”

“You’re too emotional.”

“Woah, is your memory getting worse?”

“That’s obviously not what happened.”

“You’re taking this too seriously.”

But a lot of gaslighting is more complicated than one or two simple sentences. It involves slowly and deliberately making you question past events. If you aren’t aware of the manipulation, you may slowly begin to believe it, slowly losing confidence and positive thinking as you go. This is classified as abusive behavior.

If someone gaslights you, you can respond with the following statements:

“That isn’t my reality.”

“I understand your perspective, but that’s not how I see it.”

“We experienced that differently.”

“You cannot change what I experienced.”

someone exploiting you


It feels like you meet a different person every day with an exploiter. In various scenarios, they put on different masks, sometimes becoming unrecognizable.

As an example, they may be extremely polite and friendly in public but then morph into insulting and dismissive people behind closed doors. Why is this done? Well, someone who is taking advantage of you may need to make themselves look more positive or like the “good guy.” As such, they may do what they can to make sure that everyone around them has no reason to suspect their motives, making it difficult for you to seek help.

Another example is that they may seem kind and sweet to you one day, then cruel and biting the next. This is a form of indirect punishment and typically done to inform you that you’ve done something they don’t approve of.


So, should you immediately cut off anyone who does any of these signs someone is exploiting you? Not necessarily. Exploitative behavior can sometimes be unconscious, and while that doesn’t make it right, it does mean the actions are changeable. Sit down and talk to the person who is doing this to you with honest and direct communication and see if any changes come of it.

But if someone exploits you again and again, even after you speak to them and ask them to stop, it’s time to cut them off. Don’t feel ashamed of saying “Enough is enough” and showing an exploiter the door.

Esther Ijewere™©

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A graduate of Chemistry Education from the University of Lagos, Uchenna Mofunanya is the founder and CEO of the internationally acclaimed ShapeUp with Mrs. Murphy, a Weight Management, Fitness and Lifestyle Consult. She is a UK certified Nutrition coach , Fitness, Diet planning  , and Weight Management coach. Uchenna also holds a diploma in Pharmacy from the University of Lagos.

A woman of diverse interests, Uchenna Mofunanya has also functioned as a model for various local and international brands. She was one of the finalists at the Silverbird organized Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria (MBGN) pageant, 2006.  The winner of multiple awards, her work as a lifestyle consultant is trailed with amazing body transformation testimonials that has helped restore confidence to a lot of women across the world

Born and raised in the Northern part of Nigeria, Uchenna Mofunanya has always been a sports and fitness enthusiast and has maintained a healthy outdoors life. She was the captain of both the female Basket Ball and Volley Ball teams of FGGC, Jos during her time. She has continued to excel in different leisure and competitive sporting and fitness engagements. She is the winner of the Maiden edition of Three Crowns Fitness Challenge, 2016. The mother of three continues to serve as a role model for women across the globe, and works as an advocate for body-shaming awareness, education, nutrition, physical activity and healthy eating. She shares her story in this interview.

Childhood Influence

I grew up as the last child of a family of four in a middle-class home. This position automatically made you everybody’s errand girl. I was always busy on my feet. Besides this, I was your “go-to” girl, the person everyone always brought their problems to, the one who always had a solution. I’d say that in a way these circumstances helped horn my knack for problem solving and helping people. On the fitness and nutrition aspect, my mum is a nurse and her love for healthy eating definitely rubbed off on us positively (even if we didn’t appreciate it then),  so I grew up knowing the basics of nutrition.

Growing up, I was one of the tallest girls in school and therefore could not really hide from participation in sports. I never really liked track events so I was pushed into basket ball, volley and football.  I performed brilliantly in these sports was made captain in each of them. And when you start winning laurels, it becomes more like an addiction for you. The need to maintain the winning streak made fitness a habit.  My childhood had its challenges, but I guess everything worked together for good.  Looking back now, I can say my childhood played a major role in my career today, I didn’t stumble on it,  I believe God prepared me from the start.

Inspiration behind Shapeup

Shapeup with Mrsmurphy was born out of a passion to help families become healthier and the need to raise a healthy and happier generation.   I feel the need to help women regain their body confidence especially after having babies. I have seen families break up and a lot of women lose their self esteem due to poor lifestyle choices. It all started as a hobby (passion) and then grew into a business. Over the years, I had helped a lot of friends, neighbors , strangers and colleagues achieve their body goals by eating healthy, drinking healthy and teaching them easy ways to stay fit. The results and testimonies from these encounters encouraged the international business consult that is Shape up with Mrs Murphy today. Entreprenural spirit, passion and the need to stand out has driven me to get further learning, courses and certifications on family health nutrition, weight- loss and fitness from local and international schools. The growth of Shape Up with Mrs Murphy is hinged on the bedrock of continuous learning. I invest a lot in the acquisition of new material and information to help my clients.

In a way,  the results I get from what I do has encouraged the need to do more and the growth of the company. I’m able to create  awareness for good nutrition as an important part of leading a healthy lifestyle, combined with physical activity to help people reach and maintain a healthy weight, reduce the risk of chronic diseases (like heart disease and cancer), and promote overall total health one individual at a time .

Being a coach, nutritionist, Mom, wife and managing it all

This hasn’t been easy but with some effort I’ve been able to find a near perfect balance between my family and my job. Being an online business, I must say it wasn’t easy at first because enquiries come from different people in different places with different time zones. But I had to set working hours for myself, even though it’s a bit of a struggle to adhere strictly to this,  it helps me to regulate. That way, when I have to work,  I work and when I shut down,  I spend time with the family. My husband’s job keeps him away for the greater part of the day,  so I work around the timelines.  I also took up the responsibility of driving my kids to and from school, that way I get to spend a lot of time with them.


Some of my biggest challenges stems from the dept of mediocrity in the industry. When people try to compare me to this or that coach whose procedure did not work.  When I am put in this position where I have to validate myself or my work.  It’s more like paying for other people’s crimes.  But I’ve been able to deal with this, one client at a time. From one happy client to another, gradually the wheat is being separated from the chaff.

Other Projects & Activities

I’m actually working on a lot of projects at the moment.  I’m excited about them and still trying to find my feet. I’m still trying to keep it under wraps, but rest assured it’s going to involve a lot of outdoors and collaborations with a lot of local and international brands. But once I’m done, you’d be one of the first people I’d mention it to.


I could mention this award or that recognition but really my greatest reward professionally actually happens every day.  When I see the smile on my clients face and whenever they achieve their health and body goals, it’s a success for me.  This feeling for me is very fulfilling

Women and weightloss

I’d like them to become more health conscious, the moment they do,  they’d understand and appreciate the beauty of fitness and weight loss. So many people are overweight and very fit, some are underweight and not fit, many are also overweight or underweight and not healthy.  We have several body types, the ectomorphs, endomorphs and mesomorphs, so not everyone can be skinny, not everyone will be skinny,  but everyone no matter their size can decide to be healthy by making daily conscious efforts to stay fit,  eat and drink healthy. Obesity and lack of exercise are silent  killers. Take care of yourselves, the world still needs you because you’re here for a reason

Appreciation of women in the fitness sector

I believe we are in some ways, but maybe not as much as we should. Ours is a young and thriving industry. In the past decade a lot of achievements and milestones have been recorded. So slowly but surely the works of the genuine practitioners are being recognized. I emphasize the word ‘real’ because in our business just as in any other potential laden business, there are a lot of charlatans and imposters. And in some cases, this category are in the majority and have the potential of clouding the real successes of the real practitioners. You’d be amazed how many times I’ve had to battle fake practitioners stealing transformation pictures from my page. We do get accolades but it can only get better.

My Inspiration

When it comes to being fit and healthy, I am mostly inspired by the vision of who know I can become. The realization that I’m still work in progress. And of course the tiny everyday changes and improvements that go unnoticed by the average eye. I love competing with the woman I was yesterday.  My aim is to evolve into a better version of myself daily.

Being a Woman of Rubies

As a UK Certified life style consultant, i specialize in helping women achieve their body goals. I have helped restore many marriages, relationships and helped a lot of women restore or gain self worth, esteem and confidence. Based in Lagos Nigeria but with clients all over the world, I take it as my calling to help women be their best possible self. I support women empowerment programs all over the world especially in Nigeria and l have been recognized by diverse female groups for my service in the elevation of women

Advice to Women

I’d love  women to know they are beautiful irrespective of their height, weight, race, IQ and religion.  We all need to love ourselves more and not always seek validation from anyone,  we need to become more Health focused,  we need to become more prudent and wise,  we need to think of our daughters and sons before we act today, we need to start asking ourselves questions in the mirror “will my kids be proud of my behaviour”? We need to start genuinely supporting one another.

We need to love and respect each other, knowing that the beauty of a Garden is in the flowers blooming together.

Shapeup with Mrsmurphy is an online weight management consult.  

We help people lose weight and achieve their flat tummy goals in record time without drinking “slimming” teas, pills,  supplements, starvation or sleeping in the gym.

We offer various packages for weight-loss and the best part is you can be anywhere in the world .

We also help nursing moms get back their body in record time.

Our approach to weight-loss and flat tummy is using all classes of food or achieve our body goals.

We teach healthy eating, and healthy drinking as well as the need to be physically active.

We give healthy focused talks and create sensitization on the healthy lifestyle to platforms like schools,  offices and other events.

To contact us,  please Call or Whatsapp +2348022288925 , 08064601880 , +2348064601880 ,

Instagram ; @shapeupwith_mrsmurphy

Facebook : Shapeup with Mrsmurphy

Website: www.shapeupwithmrsmurphy.com

Twitter : @magic_mrsmurphy


You will agree with me that we are currently experiencing a rise in temperature, due to the decline in our atmosphere’s natural protection, the ozone layer which protects us from the sun’s harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays. We can’t stop going out: the only way is for us to be aware of its adverse effects and how to maintain our health.


  • The sun gives off rays of light called Ultraviolet rays (UV) that can either benefit or harm you.
  • It doesn’t matter your age or skin color, everyone is at risk especially people whose endeavors entail that they work in the sun all day.
  • UV rays reflect off smooth surfaces, such as water, concrete, sand, and snow; you are more at risk in these areas.


  • Skin changes – you begin to see signs like wrinkled, tight, freckles, and dark spots on your skin.
  • Skin cancer – overexposure can lead to the development of melanoma, a severe kind of skin cancer that can spread to other areas of the body.
  • Premature aging – The more time you spend in the sun makes your skin age earlier than normal.
  • Eye injuries that could lead to blindness – UV rays pose a threat to your cornea, which can lead to blurred vision, cataracts and blindness if not treated.
  • Suppress proper functioning of your body’s immune system and skin’s natural defenses.


  1. 1. Lifestyle Changes
  • If you reside in the tropics, it’s important you plan your daily movements so as to avoid the direct sun between 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. when the sun rays are at peak.
  • Use Sunglasses😎, sunscreen tanners and tinted makeups.
  • Interval breaks by getting into a shade.
  • Cover up – Wear clothing and hats to protect your skin from UV rays, especially for your kids whose skin are more sensitive🌞.
  1. Nutrition
  • Make a commitment to have these as part of your diet: Fruits rich in vitamins C and E can reduce the sunburns. Citrus (lemons, limes, oranges, and grapefruits), Carrots, Strawberries, Pomegranates, Green Tea, Almonds, Red Grapes, watermelon, Green vegetables, Turmeric, and Tomatoes🍏🍇🍓🍒🍅🌶🌽🍉🍋.
  1. Dietary Supplementation
  • If you will find it hard to meet up with your daily nutrition! No need to worry, there are whole food nutritional packs you can supplement your diet with.

Recognize these risks and take practical precautions, for this will help you enjoy the sun, and reduce your chances of sun-related health problems.

About Hosanna

I am Hosanna Oyibo, a Public Health Coach. I am an avid reader, personal development enthusiast, network marketing professional and a volunteer. I’m also interested in travelling, gardening, and sports. You can read about me and visit my blog with a click on this link https://about.me/hosannaoyibo. T


In 2016, researchers from Saint Joseph’s University and the University of San Diego found that snapping a photo of food before taking the first bite can actually improve your perceived taste of it. The research was published in the Journal of Consumer Marketing.

The researchers wanted to test if taking a photo before you eat your food prompts you to pay more attention to its taste.

They conducted three studies, on 120 participants each. In the first study, participants were given either a slice of red velvet cake or a fruit salad and told they had the option of taking a picture of the food. They found that the people who took a photo of the red velvet cake thought it tasted better than the people who didn’t — those who took a photo of the fruit salad didn’t experience a change in perception.

The result wasn’t far from the hypothesis though as they found that photographing food made it taste better only if it was indulgent. Photographing healthy food will only make it taste better if you believe that you should eat healthy foods.


Credit: Pulse

Photo credit : Dooney’s kitchen

When the hand is broken, we go to see the doctor.
No, we run to see the doctor.
We know it needs fixing.
No one will see you carrying a broken hand and tell you to suck it up, hide it, you don’t want anyone to know. Of course, no one will stigmatize you for your broken hand.

The intense pain will not let you hide, you will run off to a surgeon and ask him to do something.
We all know the hand is replaceable and we even have two.We have two hands, two legs, two eyes, two ears, two kidneys; nearly every organ in the body can be successfully transplanted or fixed surgically.
You also know that even if you lose those limbs, there are prosthetic limbs you can wear so we have at our beck and call a ton of remedies for fixing a broken limb. Let’s not mention the friends and family that will support you during recovery and take turns by your bed side.Sadly, when your mind/brain is ‘broken’. They tell you to hide it. Don’t seek help. You will bring shame on the family and wrongly so, ignorant people will begin to avoid you and your family.

How else would you fix the mind/brain if you don’t seek help?
Do you have two brains? Do you know anyone that will donate one for you?

Are you looking forward to doing a mind/brain transplant or are there prosthetic minds/brains available for sale? Some people even have the resources to seek help but will hide under the cover of ‘do you know who I am?’. My pedigree? My status? Yet, they are not whole.

The broken mind/brain does not have prosthesis.
The broken mind or brain cannot be transplanted from a family member or donor.
Only you know where it hurts and how it hurts.

Some of us have emotional baggage from our childhood and past experiences that only therapy can take care of. Unfortunately, we can’t place these feelings and its consequences so we are unable to deal with it. It affects our relationships, our performance at work/productivity and our wellbeing. For this reason, some have been tagged as ‘having spiritual problem’ or being possessed while being ferried from one prayer house to another. It is a factor in the domestic violence/emotional abuse in marriage towards spouse and children.

It is no longer enough to tell people to lose weight, to follow a meal plan, to register at the gym, to wake up first thing in the morning to exercise – as long as those deep-seated issues are not dealt with through therapy and inquiry (excavating & uprooting); many of us will continue to use food as a coping mechanism. This is why with my clients, I choose first to focus on behavior remodeling. Sadly, many people don’t want to deal with the real issues they prefer a ‘meal plan’ that will fail them again and again.
You know deep within you that this mind/brain is not ‘working’ as it should and you want to be whole…believe me, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Mental illnesses are disorders affecting a state and part of the body just like you would have kidney diseases, liver diseases and every other disease that affects a part of the body. Once a disorder in any of these parts result, it becomes an illness. There should be no stigma associated with it, just because they manifest differently is not a cause for stigma either. If we are not stigmatizing the person with a broken hand, we are wrong to stigmatize the one with a broken mind/brain.

Please, don’t let your ‘well-meaning’ pastor tell you ‘we will pray it out’. Why did that other church member who fractured her knee get admitted in the hospital and you all went to see her with baskets of fruits. Why was she not managed in church with prayer and fasting?
PS: Your pastor cannot fulfill every role in your life and a good pastor should be the first person encouraging you to seek professional help.

Yes, in God’s word there is an answer for every situation. Just like we had priests, we had kings, we had men at the city gates, we had scribes. Each one fulfilling a different purpose.
Today, we have therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists. Every wisdom here on earth comes from God. So, the therapists and psychiatrists you will see are acting under God’s divine wisdom just like the pastor is.

Even the psychiatrist is stigmatized.
In my 2nd year of Medical School (about 13 years ago), I heard about the psychiatrist in my city. They said he behaves like his patients, jumps on tables when attending to patients and ‘looks and acts crazy’. I’m sure most people who ‘distributed’ that narrative had never seen this man. I on the other hand have been there during a 4-week posting in my 5th year, never for once did I witness any of the doctors jumping on tables. This is what ‘the danger of a single story’ does to the world of psychiatry.

Psychiatrists are medical doctors who are trained to diagnose and treat mental  illness with medication or evideAccording to the WHO, while information is lacking on mental health and access to mental health in Nigeria is quite limited, it is estimated that at least 4% of the population suffer from depression. I assume this number is very much underestimated thanks to our poor health seeking behaviors (people don’t seek medical help until it is severe).

While there are non-existent desks in the ministries at any level for mental health and only 3.3% of the Federal Government’s health budget goes to mental health, we can do better as individuals. Stigmatization will only lead to more and more people suffering in silence, never getting help and even getting worse. A 4-week therapy session for that woman suffering post-partum depression will go a long way in helping her raise mentally strong children that will neither be neglected nor emotionally abused …but she won’t go for fear that YOU & I will stigmatize/ostracize her and her children.

– When we feel pain in our muscles or limbs we see the orthopedic surgeon
– When we feel pain around the abdomen, we see the gastroenterologist
– When our heart hurts suddenly we run down to the cardiologist. No one wants to die of a heart attack.
– When we feel pain in our minds/brains we have every right like every other person who seeks help for pain in other parts of their body to see a therapist or a psychiatrist.

Having a mental illness does not mean you’re broken or weak. far from it. Acknowledging that you have a biological imbalance and need help is the most courageous thing that you can do today: It is a sign of strength, not weakness. I believe everyone deserves a therapy session at least twice a year.
As a psychiatrist rightly quoted, there is no health without mental health.

Mental Health Helplines and Resources in Nigeria
Nigeria Suicide Prevention Initiative: +234 806 210 6493
Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative +234 806 010 1157
She Writes Woman +234 817 491 3329


About Ezinne Meribe
Dr. Ezinne Meribe is the host of Beyond A Dress Size podcast; a podcast series that creates stimulating conversations to pull down misconceptions on nutrition, weight loss, health and body diversity while empowering women to live life beyond the numbers on the dress label, scale or tape.
She is the Lead Wellness Coach/Founder at Zinnyslifestyle, where she leverages her professional qualifications and personal experience to teach women how to OWN & LOVE their bodies and LIVE in it fabulously; having successfully won the struggle with being overweight and loving her body. A UK certified Wellness Professional with a Bachelors in Medicine and Surgery (MBBS), she completed her postgraduate training in Public Health at Kumamoto University, Japan. As a Medical Doctor and Public Health Specialist, she continues to promote preventive medicine as the number one way to combat the severe health system constraints in developing countries.

You can connect with her on
Instagram @zinnyslifestyle
Facebook @zinnyslifestyle
Read more on Medium @ezinnemeribe
Or send an email to info@zinnyslifestyle.com


Happy weekend, WORriors! On this week’s edition of #OwambeSaturday, Nollywood actress, Adesua Etomi Wellington is our muse. It is very important to understand your body figure and know what fits your figure and what doesn’t.

Adesua Etomi is slim and she sure knows how to accentuate her figure and knows the right color that makes her skin glows!!!

Check out 9 times she dished out major Aso Ebi goals.

Hello, ladies! We bring to you 7 makeup hacks and tricks that you really need to know. The hacks will save you time and money. Leggo!


For Fuller lashes:

Dust some transculent powder on your lashes between coats. It will make your lashes fuller.


Remoisturize your mascara

Don’t throw away your dried up mascara. Instead, add a few drops of saline solution to it. It will make it moist. If you don’t have saline solution, pour few drops of hot water.


How to avoid lipstick smudge on your teeth

After applying lipstick on your lips, put your finger in your mouth, close your lips around your finger and then pull it out. The excess lipstick will get on your finger, and not on your teeth.


Make your own lipgloss

Don’t throw away your broken eye shadows. Crush the eye shadow into powder, then mix with petroleum jelly to make your own lip gloss.

How to make your lipstick last longer

Put on a coat of lipstick, then lay a tissue across your lips. Dust transculent powder on, to make the color set so it stays on longer.


How to make your eyes appear bigger

Sweep your mascara towards your nose, instead of upward. It will make the lashes look fuller and makes your eyes look bigger.


Use a spoon to achieve a perfect winged eyeliner

Press the rounded side of the spoon against your eyelids, and move the spoon outwards to create the winged effect as you draw.



Photo credit: google

Understanding the Wodaabe tribe

The Wodaabe are a nomadic sexually liberated polygamous/polyamorous tribe who allow the tribe’s women to have sexual intercourse with whoever they want before they are married. The women are also allowed to have numerous husbands. Women have all the power when it comes to intimacy.

Women who attend the Wodaabe festival may or may not be married, but they come in search of their next husband. Each female present gets to choose her own winner and escape with him.

First marriages are traditionally arranged by families while parties are still children. This marriage is called Koogal.

According to the Daily Mail, ” A bride stays with her husband until she becomes pregnant, after which goes to live with her mother. She delivers the baby at her mother’s home when she becomes a ‘boofeydo’, which literally means ‘someone who has committed an error’. While she is boofeydo, she is not allowed to have any contact with her husband, and he is not allowed to express any interest in either her or the child. After two to three years, she is permitted to visit her husband, but it is still taboo that she should live with him or bring the child with her; this only becomes permissible when her mother has managed to purchase all the items that are necessary for her home. But by then the woman maybe ready for her second marriage…”

This second marriage might be due to love and attraction — probably from the Gerewol — and it is called Teegal.

The Gerewol festival

The Gerewol is a seven-night festival which occurs at the end of the rainy season in September and it’s a time for the tribe to relax after months of travelling across the Sahel desert.

Where the festival will hold is hidden till days before the event. Though a time for music and dance, the main attractions of festival are the beauty pageant and mating dance contest, Yaake.

The men, while in makeup and dresses, are judged by the women of the tribe who may take any of them as a mate as she pleases.

The men spend as long as six hours preparing their faces for the festival. They believe bright eyes, white teeth and a sharp nose are the attributes that make a man beautiful so the make up enhances these features — red clay as foundation, white stripe to make the nose look sharper, and black eyeliner and lipstick to highlight their white teeth and eyes. White ostrich feathers are placed in their hair to make them appear taller and pull the look together. They bare their eyes and teeth at the festival.

Yaake is a mating call for men to battle it out for sexual supremacy — for the chance to be regarded as a sex god.

The main judges of the dance are three of the tribe’s most beautiful women whose fathers have won the Yaake in the past. However, women from all over the tribe still attend to find new husbands. A woman with an ugly husband would want to escape her marriage and find a more good-looking mate. Sometimes, a husband might stop his wife from going to the Gerewol.

If the new couple is able to run away undetected, society recognises their marriage from then on.

One man proudly revealed to the Daily Mail that he had stolen 30 wives in his life: “You know, stealing wives is not an easy thing. Only the Wodaabe know! You steal a woman from others and she will give sons to your lineage, even grandsons. Only the Wodaabe know how to do that.”


Source: pulse.ng