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Esther Ijewere

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6 SIMPLE WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE ATTRACTED TO YOU

If you are looking for a long-term partner, job, or more friends, you will have to make them attracted to you. Here are the 7 simple ways to make people attracted to you without turning them off.

1. BE CONFIDENT, BUT NOT ARROGANT

First, it is important that you are confident about yourself. Being proud of who you are and liking your characteristics is one of the keys to make people like you. This also includes being sociable, being able to go along with the conversation and being smart when talking. Confidence is attractive, but you have to remember not to be conceited or arrogant as you might only push people away from you.

2.SENSE OF HUMOR

People who are funny are known to be intelligent and sociable. Most people are looking for this characteristic when searching for romance or friends. Even if someone is not interested in you, you can grab their attention by making them laugh.

3.ASK DEEP QUESTIONS

Cut the unnecessary conversations and start asking them deeper questions. This can make them personally connected to you and you can tell them something deep as well.

4. DON’T FORGET TO SMILE

You can easily make someone comfortable talking or having long conversations with you when you smile often. Of course, smiling is the easiest way to tell other people, “hey, don’t hesitate to talk to me, I’m friendly.”

5. EYE CONTACT

Making eye contact to a person makes you appear to be dominant and confident. This also makes you appear clever. You can also pair it with a strong handshake and you would totally nail it!

6.DRESS PROPERLY

When trying to make people attracted to you, it is important that you give attention to how you dress. Most people give definition to the clothes a person wears. It can be a definition associated to success or personality so if you want to make people notice you or attracted to you, make sure that you dress well.

Let me also add HAVE MANY PEOPLE AROUND YOU

People who are in groups tend to be more attractive. This is because it shows you that you are sociable and you can easily connect to other people. Having many people around you makes you look more attractive.

Kindly like, follow and drop your comments… *winks* . I will be glad to hear from you.

Esther Ijewere

Follow me on my social media accounts for more Inspiring contents

Instagram: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/estherijewere/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/esther.ijewere

 

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4 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE A PEOPLE PLEASER

Do you find it hard to say No?

Do you obsess about what others think of you?

Do you seek validation for everything and from everyone?

Do you feel sad when you disappoint others even at the detriment of your mental health?

If you say yes to all of these, you are likely a chronic people pleaser and this article is just for you.

Incase you ask how I know these things, It’s because I was a people pleaser (Still recovery though lol) for the longest time till I worked on myself and focused on the rule of “Self before others”.

Here are 3 common signs of chronic people-pleasing and some ways to overcome it:

1. You’re Incapable of Saying No

Do you find it painfully hard to turn down the requests of family, friends, and even acquaintances or strangers? You really want to say no, but instead, you say yes to their various demands.

Before you know it, you’ve become the go-to person when something needs to get done. From the small to the large, you take on every task. You may even be considered a hero to some.

On the inside, you’re suffering. You genuinely want to help others, but you also know that you are depleting your own resources with every “yes.” You may fear that you’ll lose your friendships and good reputation by saying no. After all, last thing you want to be called is selfish.

Solution

First, realize that your capacity to care for others and your capacity to care for yourself are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the two are intimately related.

Second, understand that you are not responsible for the happiness of those around you. They are. Let these two realities give you permission to say no. Start practicing with small requests. Refuse kindly, and without apology.

2. You feel sad When You Discover Someone Doesn’t like You

This is a hard one. It seems reasonable to assume that if you go out of your way to please everyone, then everyone will like you. But it’s not true. Some people will dislike you simply because of who you are or for reasons outside of your control. You understand this intellectually, but you cannot stop trying to win the few holdouts.

Solution

Closely examine your desire to be liked by everyone. Did this originate in your childhood, as you tried to win the affections of family members or friends at school? Use tools such as reflection, meditation, and counseling to help you let go of past negative experiences.

As social beings, we need to be loved and accepted – but not by everyone. Decide whose love and affection is worth the effort and whose is not.

3. You’re Unaware of How Far You’re Willing to Go – Until You’re in over Your Head

This is a sure sign that you lack proper boundaries like my old self . You avoid setting limits because you believe this runs counter to having a generous spirit. But this simply allows people greater latitude to intrude into your life. The requests may become more and more unreasonable and you may not realize it until someone has crossed the line.

If you’ve taken on too much, you may experience passive aggressive behavior, crying for no apparent reason, anxiety, or depression.

Solution

Be willing to admit that your time and energy are limited, not because you’re selfish, but because it’s the truth. Boundaries are simply a recognition of that truth. Do not be afraid to set your boundaries and enforce them. It will take a while for you and others to get used to it, but you’ll experience an increased sense of well-being, and people will learn to accept your limits.

4. You Avoid Making Decisions or Sharing Your Opinions

Do you have a hard time voicing your opinions and feelings in a group setting or with close friends? Do you constantly allow others to make decisions for you? Oh dear, this was me for many years, oops!

Over time, this behavior is deadly, because as you defer to the opinions and decisions of others, you are silencing your own voice. This will rob the world of your unique perspectives and gifts.

Solution

Remember that you can disagree without being disagreeable. People can have diverse opinions and still treat each other with respect and kindness. So give voice to your thoughts, concerns, and needs.

Also, If you sometimes feel resentful towards others and you don’t know why….

This often happens when we suppress our feelings and needs over the long term.

Do you feel unexplained anger toward your close friends, spouse, or boss? The anger is your subconscious telling you that you have been neglecting yourself while helping others advance their goals. Think of this resentment as the “check engine” light turning on in your car. Don’t ignore it.

Solution

Face the truth of what is going on in your life. If you’re feeling overextended or taken advantage of, acknowledge these feelings. Avoid second-guessing yourself. Find time for self care, and make this a priority.

By Esther Ijewere

Kindly like, follow and drop your comments, or perhaps add your recommendations too. I will like to know what has worked for you.

Follow me on my social media accounts for more Inspiring contents

Instagram: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/estherijewere/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/esther.ijewere

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#HAIRNETCHALLENGE: ESTHER IJEWERE PROMOTES SELF-LOVE THROUGH “HAIR NET”

On August 18, Esther Ijewere, Social Entrepreneur and Founder of Rubies Ink Initiative, posted a picture of her makeup free face with a hairnet on her head, with a goofy caption to promote self love.

See post below:

 

The goofy post apparently didn’t sit well with a ‘concerned’ Facebook follower who believed a ‘woman of class’ shouldn’t be posting a picture with hairnet, so she sent a lengthy message to rebuke Esther.

See the message below:

I woke up to this 👇👇👇 in my Inbox. I removed the names of the people she mentioned to avoid conflict.

“Esther I have been seeing your post and to be candid I am highly disappointed in you and I have to bear my mind as someone who I’ve been following you for at least 8 years.

Your last post with the Hair net comes in very bad taste for woman of class. I wanted to reach out last week as well when you posted about the Fuji guy and wondered if your account had been hacked , then I saw you responding to comments.

This is very disappointing for a women’s advocate. Please pull down the photo and picture. People like ××××××××× won’t do this. Go on their timeline and see what they share daily to Inspire other women.

I just felt I should say this as I have been bothered, even had to talk to ×××××××× since you seem close to her and asked her to pass the message.

Have a good evening dear.”

That message inspired the #HairnetChallenge. Esther created a plot twist out of the message by launching the #HairnetChallenge to preach self love and encourage women to be themselves.

With the likes of Patricia Nwanyioma Sparkle, Defunke Adewunmi, Rahmatallahi Muh Awwal, and Olasunkanmi Momooreoluwa championing the Challenge by posting pictures of them wearing their hairnets, more people were encouraged to upload pictures of them proudly wearing their hairnets.

See photos below:

Patricia Nwanyioma Sparkle

 

Olasunkanmi Momooreoluwa

 

Rahmatallahi Muh Awwal

 

A man also particiapated on behalf of his girlfriend

 

Omolabake Bode Matthew, Bims Oreofe, Defunke Adewunmi, Sparkle Diva, Patricia Nwanyioma Sparkle, and other anonymous donors, all donated rewards in cash and kind to winners of the #HairnetChallenge.

At the end of the challenge, Kehinde Bukola won with 131 Facebook likes. 2nd winner was Ononye Lauretta Onyeka, and the 3rd winner was Blessing Awulotu Felix. The winners all got their rewards in cash and kind.

 

At the end of the Challenge, a whole lot of women were left feeling more proud of and loving themselves the more, which was the sole purpose of the Challenge.

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ESTHER IJEWERE : DON’T BE ASHAMED TO SEEK HELP WHEN YOU ARE DEPRESSED

At exactly 10:42pm on 8th of March 2017, I wrote “Heaven I need a Hug” on my wall , perhaps I needed a hug considering the fact that I have several back logs and I was stressed at the time, but beyond that I wanted to see how people will respond , I wasn’t disappointed with the number of e-hugs I received within thirty minutes BUT two friends had to slide to my inbox and asked me to put down the post, one said it showed too much emotions and the other said “you are too strong to be perceived like a weak woman Esther , bring it down its not good for your brand”. Wetin concern personal brand with emotions ogini?

This is exactly the reason why people suffer and die in silence , imagine if all the people who committed suicide recently  put up a post similar to mine just to let people know they need help and get  such response from their friends?

Please let’s allow people express themselves on social media the way and manner they like, as a matter of fact I want to encourage anyone who is down, depressed or about to give it all up , put up a post and let’s know what you are going through , sometimes the closet people to us are our biggest problem and you cant tell your problem to a problem, it’s fine to seek help on Facebook or any other social media platform or other direct means.

Feel free to write messages such as :

“I am Depressed”
“I need help”
“I need to talk to someone ”
“Please help”
“I need a therapist”
“I need a counsellor ”
Etc etc etc

Just express yourself however you feel and I am sure someone out there will reach out to you. I am positive we have good people who truly care in Nigeria, all you need to reach them is to SPEAK UP!

I have been down that road before, and it’s not just being depressed because life happened or stress, I was in my world, the over analysing and over thinking stage where you feel living isn’t worth it anymore,  and I don’t pray to ever go there again, I was in self denial of my state of mind till a true friend who didn’t judge me asked that I seek help from a therapist . I am a survivor, no shame at all, and a proud Mental health advocate for She Writes Woman

If you need to talk to someone about your problems please reach out to the following people: Hauwa Ojeifo, Oyinkansola Alabi, Praise Fowowe , Laila St. Matthew-Daniel, Pamela Udoka.

I have a listening ear , I will give you a hug, give you my time and attention, walk you through the process but sadly I can’t offer you the professional help you need like the above mentioned persons. Please don’t die in silence , reach out, SPEAK UP and don’t let depression and suicide win.

Kindly add names of other therapist in the comment section ???.

Please seek help….

You are not alone…..

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SHE WRITES WOMAN CELEBRATES 3 YEARS OF MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCACY AND UNVEILS ITS AMBASSADORS

In a country where mental health is seen as taboo and stigma thrives in a culture of silence, one woman set out to change this exactly three years ago. 

Award-winning founder, Hauwa Ojeifo who was at that time recently diagnosed with bipolar and posttraumatic stress disorder, and had a near suicide attempt barely 2 months before, set out to change the face of mental health in Nigeria by boldly speaking her truth publicly. She founded She Writes Woman on April 17, 2016.

For three years, She Writes Woman’s mission has been to lead a movement of love, hope and support that gives mental health a voice in Nigeria. She Writes Woman pursues this mission by taking back the misinformed narrative around mental health by telling new stories, connecting help with hope and normalizing mental health conversations by providing safe places where people can talk without fear or shame. Utilising education and awareness, advocacy and policy influence coupled with innovative and sustainable solutions, She Writes Woman’s mission is simple – to create better lives for Nigerians by improving the way they think, feel and behave.

Over the past 3 years, She Writes Woman has initiated a 24/7 mental health helpline averting over 50 likely suicides and counting, and sustained the only women-only mental health support group with over 39 editions directly supporting over 600 women and girls across 4 states in Nigeria. The leading mental health movement in Nigeria has also reached over 500,000 people globally with information and knowledge that will change their attitude and behaviour towards mental health, and recently created Safe Place Nigeria; a first-ever preventative mental health life clinic for young people to address life issues such as stress, relationships, fulfillment etc early enough before they become mental health problems, proudly donated by Airtel Nigeria as part of its Airtel Touching Lives CSR Initiative.

It is no wonder that amongst the organisations’ many accolades and recognitions include Ojeifo’s prestigious award from Her Majesty the Queen of England at the Buckingham Palace in June 2018, being the only African to be nominated (and won) the MTV Europe Music Generation Change Award in Bilbao, Spain and bagging the AstraZeneca Young Health Scholarship in becoming a One Young World Ambassador to the Hague, Netherlands.

In marking her three-year milestone, She Writes Woman unveils her Mental Health Ambassadors – a group of nine diverse women who are leaders in their industries and are passionate about mental health. Among these women are Esther Ijewere (Women of Rubies), Gusi Tobby Lordwilliams (Girl Hub Africa), Glory Edozien (Inspired by Glory, 9to5 chick), Olive Emodi (Award-winning OAP), Fatima Zahra Umar (Jaruma Magazine, Divorce Diaries), Adenike Oyetunde (Amputees United Initiative), Laila Johnson-Salami (Multimedia Journalist), Wana Udobang (Award-winning Journalist), Zahra Zakariya Abdulkareem (The Umm Fariha Network).

“I am so excited to become a part of the inaugural SWW Mental Health Ambassadors. Being able to give a voice to mental health is so important to me as someone that has been clinically diagnosed”, said Laila Johnson-Salami. Speaking on why this is an important position for her, the Jaruma Magazine Chief Editor stated, “I am a survivor of depression…Being that we live in a country that is only just beginning to come to terms with the importance of mental health, I look forward to being part of educating our people on the importance of sound mental health. Lordwilliams also added, “I look forward to representing all that She Writes Woman stands for, getting more people to be aware of its mission, uphold her core values and increasing our reach this year and beyond”.

In the coming year, these mental health ambassadors will use their personal and professional network to raise awareness on mental health and collaboratively work together in creating better lives for Nigerians, says Ojeifo

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ESTHER IJEWERE WINS SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR OF THE YEAR AWARD

On Saturday November 25th , 2018 The Eloy awards held the 10th edition of it’s prestigious award ceremony and Esther Ijewere, founder of Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children and Editor-In-Chief of Multiple award winning blog Women of Rubies won the Social Entrepreneur award, for her selflessness and contribution towards the empowerment of women both at the grassroots and social level.

While she was unable to attend the epoch making event, Esther was well represented by her Mentee Lordwilliams Gusi Tobby of Girlhub Africa, who gave an outstanding speech on behalf of her Mentor and also congratulated other Nominees.

Reacting to the award, Esther took to her social media page to show her appreciation;

“Thank you Jesus for yet another award! Who am I? Nothing but pencil before you Heavenly father … absolutely Nothing!

Just a young girl whose life is a movement she barely can understand.

I dedicate this Award to my Mom! Mummy I never reach where I dey go o but this is for you! For bringing me to the world against all odds and always standing by me through thick and thin… I owe you so much Mama!!!

To everyone that voted for me, May God honour you all, I appreciate you for your love and constant support! We won!!!

Our beautiful Queens at Women of Rubies You guys rock! Thanks for making it all worth it

Thanks to my wonderful team, this is our Win guys! Yes! We did it.

Thanks for picking yet another award for me my ever supportive mentee and aburo Lordwilliams Tobby. I appreciate you!

To Tewa Onasanya and the @eloyawards team, I Stan you. May God bless the work of your hands. Thanks for counting me worthy

Thank you Jesus, for this, that and everything! I remain Loyal

This is Esther’s second award this year, it will be recalled that the social entrepreneur won the “Humanitarian of the year award” at the D&K Soumi awards back in August.

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“MY HUSBAND ENCOURAGED ME TO START MY JUICE COMPANY” – TEMILOLUWA BALOGUN

Temiloluwa Balogun is fulfilling that dream by following her passion by changing the narrative unhealthy food consumption, She is the CEO of DawnJuice, a fast rising organic fruit juice and smoothies company in Nigeria. The young budding entrepreneur earned her degree in Microbiology from Olabisi Onabanjo University. Temi is strong advocate for healthy lifestyle. She continues to promote healthy living and lifestyle by carefully creating recipes to meet her family and clientele demands; encourages young people—especially women to choose healthy meal options.

She has supported and partnered with several organizations to drive the message of healthy lifestyle home , while she also runs her beauty and lifestyle outfit MO’s Crib Ventures on the side to further help women with their day to day lifestyle as it relates to beauty and make-up.

Temiloluwa who is happily married with children is also a certified Air hostess , In her words “ If I wasn’t into Juice business , I would have been a very successful air hostess because I commit myself to everything I do and give it my all”.

She shares her story with Esther Ijewere in this interview and shed more light on the need to eat and stay healthy.

Childhood Influence

I wouldn’t say Yes or No. But, all I can relate is that the church we attended back then fruits was always the order of the day,invariably I got introduced and exposed to fruits very early in life in varieties.

Meet Temi

A mother of three, who loves caring for her home. An entrepreneur and business woman who owns both Mo’s Crib and Dawn Juice (beauty and healthy lifestyle). I love caring for people around me, love togetherness, working with my team especially in areas of support and supervision. I’m very hardworking, humble, fun person, down to earth, takes responsibility and shares authority amongst workers accordingly. Happy to protect and serve her home, the people around her and give back to the society.

Inspiration behind Dawn Juice

I got inspired by a handful of thoughts, just to mention a few; I recall that fast foods and drinks was the order of the day for my generation while growing up. It was trendy and a breakaway from the normal home food making. Little did we know that like everything it has its own side effects. I wanted to change the narrative, and that’s where the inspiration for Dawn juice came from, I started with my immediate family and friends , moreso the society needs more awareness about living, eating and staying healthy, so since eating is one of the behavioral functions of humans for living, what goes into the esophagus should be healthy and 100% clean, organic and fresh. Our products are from natural fruit and vegetables contains no artificial preservative or additives which guarantees healthy lifestyle. To help the World in reducing sickness and diseases resulting from unhealthy eating and passing the healthy lifestyle culture to the incoming generation.

Challenges of running Dawn Juice

Dawnjuice deals with fresh, organic farm produce which are personally sorted for in a good state. The most dreadful challenge is when the fruits all get spoilt/rotten before used or when already processed and bottled up for sales and been kept in the fridge but the generator or fridge and or PHCN decides to give up at the same time and it all gets sour. It’s heart breaking and no juicing company wants to experience it. Luckily, we have been able to adjust by not relying solely on PHCN but also solar electricity

Another challenge is trying to change the narrative by breaking the cycle of unhealthy food, apparently most people are used to that, it’s also challenging that prospective buyers are always skeptical about the content of healthy drinks either because of previous experience with other brands or out of fear Thankfully, three of our products are NAFDAC approved, so quality is always guaranteed.

Another bottleneck is pricing. Most people may find it convenient to buy a N100 or N200 unhealthy drink than to buy a N600 to N1000 healthy drinks- juice or smoothies of the same Litres.

Cost of business in Lagos is quite high, ranging from electricity bills, transportation, licensing etc. this will definitely affect the price. However, we have worked so hard to keep the overhead costs so low while maintaining its quality recipe that the pricing is almost equivalent to do-it-yourself cost at home

Plans to hold a walk

Dawnjuice is working on starting up a walk campaign which will be held once every year or depending on the outcome of the first program when it commences. The campaign is a Walk against Disease, which is one of the major reasons Dawnjuice was birthed, we are also open to give support to and partner with any organization or company that gives back to the society.

Reward

Our greatest reward so far is been referred too with good and positive feedback. Our customers satisfaction is our main priority and we are also ready and happy to serve those buds with our healthy and hearty recipes.

DawnJuice in 5 years

In today’s competitive world, it’s our job to stay true to our product, quality, quantity and remain humble, stay friendly with our customers and remain consistent with them and have their satisfaction as our main goal at all times. With that been said our customers can only make it work with continuous demand from them and supply from us. I’m really excited about the future cause it takes drops of water to make an ocean, with continuous hard-work, teamwork and determination dreams do come through. Nothing is impossible if we put our minds to it, Dawnjuice moves in a steady pace, gradual is he that want to eat fat, so establishing branches in the various locations in Lagos and then other states to spread our vision throughout the country. Healthy eating is no longer expensive.

I will keep pushing against all odds

There’s hardly anything you set to do that someone else isn’t doing and that alone can get you thinking on how you’ll start and meet market standard and the thoughts of not been capable of sustaining in the market. At the beginning not having the necessary and right machinery to make work faster, effective and efficient. I almost gave up but with great support and encouragement, I went back to drawing board evaluated what exactly I needed and wanted to do. A lot of things can discourage one from attain success but with determination, set mind and focus all will be the thing of the past sooner or later.

My husband is my Inspiration

I got inspired by My Husband as I get to prepare Juice for him like every other day, as healthy living is a long term and continuous commitment and he was very conscious of his diet with the Juice added. That birthed the dream. Continuous attempts paved way for learning, exploring and researching into the World of Juicing, the juicing in small quantities been made, started growing progressively by the day and boom DAWNJUICE here I come.

More inspiration came as I get to influence people around me to living and eating better and healthy by adjusting their diet plan by adding Juice or smoothies to their meal plan.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I believe as a woman being independent goes a long way for us, our kids and the society at large, we need to wake up from the Mentality of keeping ourselves in the wall of our homes, care for the household and not mix and mingle with the ongoing events around us and our surroundings.

We have lots of talents and things to offer to the society, starting from been supportive to our husbands in every ramification, raising our kids and instilling good habits in them, been our sisters keeper at all times and helping fellow women instead making her feel inferior.

Are Nigerians well informed on the need to eat and drink healthy

Yes! Almost everyone is into one thing or the other it’s either you hear of Exercising (fitness club) or the Keto diet, smoothies cleansing etc. Everybody wants to live long in good health and so in achieving that they fall on any of the mentioned above. Staying in shape is trendy thing now – exercising and having a good diet, everything and anything at all that can make the old look younger. Farming is also beginning to resurface as fresh and organic crop product are more save and reliable to consume.

Why we support charitable causes

Dawnjuice loves to support and promote other business the little way we can cause we all need each other to grow, it gives us more exposure and opportunities and help reach our prospective customers , giving them an insight and knowledge about DawnJuice.

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ESTHER IJEWERE: SIMPLE SECRETS OF STAYING HAPPY

Staying happy they say ensures good health. But, is it that easy to stay happy today in the world of stress, anxiety and depression? Well, they are a part of everyday life and it is normal for each of us to have a bad day some times. So, do not just let your spirits down with such days, and focus more on staying happy. Here are few quick tips that will help you relieve all your everyday stress

1. Do what you like to do – Keeping in view the busy schedules, it is quite natural, that most of us tend to get lazy by the end of the day. So, the best way to be happy is to do what you like, for instance you could hit the gym, or could join a dance class.

2. Head out, meet people– Do not just while away your weekends. Plan out short trips, or throw a party at home. Meeting new people, will relieve your tensions and anxiety, keeping your mind at peace.

3. Talk to your loved ones- It is important to let out your problems in order to get a solution to it. Have nobody who will listen to you? Talk to God, he listens.

4. Ensure proper sleep cycles – I am bad at this myself, but it is very important to keep your mind balanced, in turn playing a big role in helping you to be happy. Sleeping properly will get you happy morning, and a good start of the day, is always a good sign.

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ESTHER IJEWERE: PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

Few years ago I worked with a “Popular” female celebrity (name withheld) as a Personal Assistant, she worked from home and my work was to resume everyday by 8am, either we have something to do or not I “Go to work”, it was at a point when she wasn’t much of a celeb again and her name was fading away, From PA I turned to a semi “help” with style, she would ask me to pick her kids from school, wash their uniforms, do their assignments, cook for her and sometimes I do nothing at all but we would gist all day , but I learnt alot from her.

I rolled on the template of some of the materials she gave me when I started out , my patience earned me knowledge and every time I remember her I say a word of prayer. Too bad she is totally off the scene now. Nothing last forever!!!!

I am sharing this because I meet alot of young girls lately and when we get talking it appears to me that the only thing they want to get from you is either “Your contacts” or just money, Most are not patient to learn and think outside the box, you test them with little information and they think they hit jackpot when they haven’t even seen the main “pot” at all.

Patience is a virtue, You keep saying you want a mentor but you are not ready to be a mentee with an open heart, Of course I can’t ask anyone to do any of the things i had to do for my “Oga” back then but people test us in different ways.

I am still learning from those in front of me but the ones we want to “Pay it forward” to are not ready to learn , they just want to blow like music stars, Rome was not built in a day, those who are flying now, crawled at some point. They are some steps you can’t skip on the road to success. It’s either you are ready to follow through or you just keep chasing different buses.

We can do better Ladies!!!

Facebook: Esther Ijewere

Twitter & Intagram: @estherijewere

Email: Esther@womenofrubies.com

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“SUCCESS IS HELPING SOMEONE WHO CAN NEVER PAY YOU BACK” – ESTHER IJEWERE

Esther Ijewere is an enterprising social activist, youth advocate, Columnist, author, mother of two and the Executive Director of Rubies Ink Initiative- a social enterprise outfit devoted to youth advocacy, public relations and social enterprise solutions among others. An Olabisi Onabanjo University-trained Sociologist, as a social advocate, she is the brain behind W.A.R- Walk Against Rape, an advocacy initiative created to lend a voice for the victims of rape and demand justice for the perpetrator’s, an initiative endorsed by the Lagos State Ministry Of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation. She is also a columnist with The Guardian newspaper with her page Women of Rubies, a platform used to celebrate exceptional women with inspiring stories. The page is a sequel to her award-winning blog www.womenofrubies.com, which is fast becoming the one stop blog for the everyday woman. In this interview with NIKE SOTADE, she talks about the strides she has made in her passion to fight against rape in the society

Tell us about yourself, education, growing up etc.
I am Esther Ijewere, the Founder of Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children, Convener of the Walk Against Rape Campaign and also, Editor-In-Chief of Women of Rubies, a blog aimed at celebrating exceptional women with inspiring stories. I sit on the board of The African Development Imperative (TADI) and also, a fellow with Hillary Clinton’s founded Vital Voices Global Leadership. I have been into advocacy and development work since 2010. I am the recipient of many awards – notable among them are the ‘Wise Woman in Media Award’ I received last year and my recent recognition as one of the ‘100 Most Inspiring Women in Nigeria’ by Leading Ladies Africa. I had my Primary and Secondary education in Lagos and graduated from the Olabisi Onabanjo University with a BSc in Sociology and Diploma in Marketing. I am also a certified ‘On Air Personality’ but that’s one of the many caps I am yet to explore. I believe in learning and acquiring knowledge as much as one can in any field of interest – if you can think it, then you can do it.

Any experiences in life that propelled you into sexual violence or anti-rape advocacy? You’re a mother of two girls, are they your inspiration too?
At the time I started the anti-rape campaign, I realised a lot of people were scared of reporting cases of rape out of fear of being stigmatised and judged. The number of reported cases was very low. This propelled me to start the sensitization awareness and lend my voice while complementing the work of the Government in curbing rape and other forms of sexual violence. Being a mother of two girls also deepened my passion for the cause, as I can’t imagine any of them having to go through such ordeal in life.

You’ve been working with government agencies in what capacity? Do you think Lagos State government is doing enough in its anti-rape campaign?
I have been working with the Lagos State Government through its Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation since 2010; we partner with them annually to organise our Walk Against Rape Campaign and also refer cases of rape and domestic abuse to them, while we follow it up to a justifiable end. As such, I’d emphatically say that Lagos State is the only State that has shown the most concern on issues that affect women, particularly rape. The Governor, for example, has a zero tolerance policy for all forms of violence against women, and he works hand in hand with the necessary government agencies to make sure offenders are prosecuted. The Lagos State Government is doing enough at the moment; I just hope they can create more Help Centres in every local council across the State to help victims get help faster. This is one thing I have been advocating for since 2010.

Have they prosecuted any offenders? Kindly give figures if you have them.
In 2016, 4, 035 cases ranging from rape, child abuse, sexual assault, sexual abuse to defilement, were handled by the Lagos State Ministry of Justice; this, being a cumulative figure alongside the previous year. The number of unreported cases is obviously higher than that as 140 offenders were prosecuted last year. I believe the figure will increase as time goes by.

What kind of advocacy do you take to the schools?
Sensitisation and Awareness through our College Acquaintance Rape Education workshop (C.A.R.E) where we educate these young kids on how to identify an abuse and the need to report such cases to the necessary authority. I also wrote an information Handbook on Rape called “Breaking the Silence.” We use it as a toolkit to sensitize them – a book that contains all the necessary information they need; from help lines to help centres across Lagos. The feedbacks from the kids in the last few years have been great; we have more kids reporting such cases in confidentiality now.

Who are the potential or likely rapists?
Undisciplined men, who do not have self-control, are potential rapist.

Kindly share with us some of the tips you’ve offered school children on defending themselves against predators.
I have a personal code I teach them with called L.I.E.S: L stands for ‘Learn to say NO’, I – ‘Identify the situation’, E – ‘Expose the perpetrator’, S – ‘Say it as it is without conceding information’. I encourage them to write this in their exercise books or we give them stick on papers they can paste on their wardrobes.

More rape cases are being reported in the news nowadays. What do you think could be responsible?
It’s still indiscipline and lack of self control. There is no justification for rape or any form of sexual abuse. Some have argued that the economy is one of the reasons but I beg to differ: how will raping or defiling a child change your financial status? It’s also good we have more reported cases lately – this goes to show we have not been lending our voice in vain.

Do you counsel rape victims, too? What advice do you have for them to move on with their lives?
Yes, I do. First, I take them through a healing process; the biggest stage of healing is ‘breaking your silence’ and I also encourage them not to ever blame themselves for getting raped or dwell on it.

You’re also a blogger and columnist with the popular Women of Rubies interviews. How do you go out of your way to get these exceptional women?
Blogging, through the Women of Rubies Platform, has been very interesting. It avails me the opportunity to be more inspired and challenges me to even do more. We often have people nominate women they feel are worthy of being celebrated; we get nominations weekly for a ‘deserving woman’ whose story deserves to be brought to the front-burner.

What’s relaxation for you?
Sadly, I hardly relax but lately, I’m beginning to learn how to have some time for myself. I go out to see an interesting movie or just stay indoors and watch one – zero-attention to social media; just that alone-movie time to relax the head.

Who are your role models?
My mum, because she had every reason under the sun not to bring me to the world, but against all odds she did and made sure I become the woman I am today. Another person is Kate Henshaw. She is one of the very first people who believed in me, she made sure I got more tutelage from more experienced women in my line of work and she also became a mentor in the process. Aunty Kate as I fondly call her is one of my biggest support systems in the industry. Her selflessness and humility inspire me a lot. I also admire Remi Shonaiya, the presidential candidate for KOWA Party for daring to be different and standing up tall, for showing that a woman can contest and one day sit at the highest level of authority in this country. I am inspired by her courage and the way she has positioned herself even after losing the election. I also admire Ini onuk and Betty Irabor. On the International scene it’s Oprah Winfrey and Hillary Clinton.

You’re the daughter of a renowned accountant in the country, why didn’t you follow daddy’s career? What life’s lessons have you learned from your dad?
For me, this is what God wants me to do; this is the path He wants me to toe – I am living my own purpose. My dad’s purpose is in accounting and other fields he has excelled in; he respects my vision and is very supportive of my aspirations in life. One life lesson he taught me is to always stay and think positive, no matter what life throws at me.

What’s your philosophy of life?
I am not scared of lifting other women up; I am not afraid to help other women and see them succeed. My thing is: “as long as I wear the crown, no one can take my throne”. You can’t boldly say you have succeeded in life till you help someone who can never pay you back.

Advice for young women out there
Women, stand up! Go out there and be all you want to be. Be strong and bold, do all you can to have a voice and an identity. Let your name be the solution to a problem you solve.

Interview originally published by Guardian

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