I try to stay away from sensitive issues to avoid triggers, sadly I can’t sit this Sylvester Oromoni issue out.
The 12-year-old who was killed at Dowen College by his seniors for allegedly refusing to join a cult group
My motherhood hormones won’t let me turn the other cheek on this case.
His dad’s account of the situation as revealed in the interview with Punch is heart wrenching 💔
They tortured and de-humanized Sylvester Oromoni.
Nobody should be treated that way.
Poor boy, he would have wished someone teleported and saved him from those wicked humans.
I have not been myself since I watched that video, it re-opened old wounds, especially when I was falsely accused of theft in the University & tortured.
I know I have shared that story many times, but it’s a part of my life that killed & awakened another part of me.
The torture & humiliation – I can’t forget.
Torture could make you wish for de.a.th.
The chants of “Oju ole re” as me and my friends took the walk of shame to the shrine we were taken forcefully to prove our innocence….
The look of disgust from onlookers as we walked down to Ijebu Igbo road….
I repressed my emotions for years, and blamed myself instead for following my friends to Bisoye’s apartment in Oru, Awa -Ijebu, that year.
From the moment I confronted my repressed emotions, I became overly ⚠️ cautious when I visit people & my threshold of pain doubled up.
I thought I was some hero for many years because I’d rather keep silent than confront situations, even when I was unhappy. I”d woman up…
I didn’t go for therapy…nothing.
Just went about my life till the wound re-opened after another episode of violence & psychological abuse.
I’m shaking writing this…no worries I’m good.
When I have the courage to confront situations, I become empathetic almost immediately.
I had a safety concern at home the other day, and instead of calling the police immediately, I focused on my luck of getting out of the situation.
I felt pity for the human who could have hurt me.
It shouldn’t be so, but it was a denial and numbing stage I’ve gotten used to.
I went about my day, and woke up at 5.37am, processed what had happened the previous day, and realized I should have called the police immediately.
I should have gotten this human arrested, she could have hurt me badly if she had a sharp object.
Self-blame kicked in again.
Trauma & Torture can mess your whole system up, no matter how many therapy sessions you go for.
Let’s not even talk about the PTSD jab that puts you in fear and flight mode constantly.
You are easily startled and frightened.
The pain lives rent free in your head.
You may experience very strong feelings of anxiety, sadness every now and then.
You are healed, but the reality of being human or hearing other people’s story triggers you.
You don’t want to be grateful at the expense of another person’s pain too. Perhaps that’s what I feel towards Sylvester’s death.
I have experienced other forms of pain in life, even worse than the false theft accusation, but that experience is hard to forget.
Perhaps it’s the residue of the torture, and the reality that those boys could have killed us, and made it look like an accident.
The sight of armful objects they kept as last resort if we didn’t confess.
All for what? N22k gold chain.
They were cult boys too.
I wish I slapped the day light out of Bisoye when she begged after we were vindicated, but I just wanted to go to our hostel, and get away from the humiliation.
They said I should always wish her well, but Karma won’t. That’s on what goes around.
Perhaps I need to document this in a book for closure.
For those asking us to take it easy on the boys who killed Sylvester, I hope you never experience what that little boy suffered.
I pray your kids never find themselves in that kind of situation.
I pray your kids never experience bullying and torture.
I hope they are not hiding their experience from you, because you don’t pay attention to them.
I pray you never lose a child 🙏🏿
I pray you don’t raise bullies who would become menace to the society.
Don’t ever judge a pain you’ve not experienced.
There are many people living with different childhood traumas, experienced at school or their home.
Some of us have mastered masking our pain just to look the part society demands, even when we are standing with our broken parts.
Justice must be served! Not just for Sylvester alone, but to encourage silent victims of bullying in our schools to speak up and break the silence.
I said I was “good” at the beginning of this write up, I’m triggered actually, but I’d check in with my therapist.
Therapy….I’d address on another post.
I just had to get this off my chest 😩.
May Sylvester’s soul rest in peace 🙏🏿 🕊