abusive relationship


A jealous partner is a ticking bomb. Have you ever dated an insecure person? or suspect your boyfriend/girlfriend could be monitoring you and just seems to know almost everything you are doing at any given time, even without you mentioning it to them?

If your answer is yes, then this article is for you. I got you covered.

Few days ago, I saw one of the biggest revelations on a private Whatsapp group I am privileged to be part of, A sister shared the story of how her boyfriend installed malware on her phone for 6 months, listening to her phone calls, reading her messages, he had access to all her phone apps, including banking apps.

Jelaous Partner

He was remotely controlling activities of her phone and she didn’t know till a fight broke out and he hit her then confessed out of anger .

An abusive partner or ex may be able to track you in detail through a secret app and keep tabs on all you do.

I shared the story on my Facebook page (Without mentioning the name of the sister of course) , and I was even confronted by more revelations; one sister actually said she cloned her boyfriend’s phone as well.

I was shocked, trust me the only place I have seen someone clone anyone’s phone is in Netflix series “YOU”, and that’s a totally different context because the character is a Narcissist and serial killer himself , aside his other ways.

Anyway, I did some digging deep to seek more knowledge as I can’t fathom why anyone would be so obsessed to a person they claim to love and monitor their lives that much. Well, I got you covered, here are 6 ways to know a jealous partner has hacked your phone according to an expert;

1. Noticeable decrease in battery life

While a phone’s battery life inevitably decreases over time, a smartphone that has been compromised by malware may start to display a significantly decreased lifespan. This is because the malware – or spy app – may be using up phone resources to scan the device and transmit the information back to a server.

Watch: 5 Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser

2. Sluggish performance

Do you find your phone frequently freezing, or certain applications crashing? This could be down to malware that is overloading the phone’s resources or clashing with other applications. You may also experience continued running of applications despite efforts to close them, or even have the phone itself crash and/or restart repeatedly.

3. High data usage

Another sign of a compromised phone is an unusually high data bill at the end of the month, which can come from malware or spy apps running in the background, sending information back to its server.

4. Outgoing calls or texts you didn’t send

If you’re seeing lists of calls or texts to numbers you don’t know, be wary – these could be premium-rate numbers that malware is forcing your phone to contact; the proceeds of which land in the cyber-crim’s wallet. In this case, check your phone bill for any costs you don’t recognize.

5. Mystery pop-ups

While not all pop-ups mean your phone has been hacked, constant pop-up alerts could indicate that your phone has been infected with adware, a form of malware that forces devices to view certain pages that drive revenue through clicks.

Even if a pop-up isn’t the result of a compromised phone, many may be phishing links that attempt to get users to type in sensitive info – or download more malware. The vast majority of such pop-ups can be neutralised simply by shutting the window – though be sure you’re clicking the right X, as many are designed to shunt users towards clicking an area that instead opens up the target, sometimes malicious, site.

6. Unusual activity on any accounts linked to the device

If a hacker has access to your phone, they also have access to its accounts – from social media to email to various lifestyle or productivity apps. This could reveal itself in activity on your accounts, such as resetting a password, sending emails, marking unread emails that you don’t remember reading, or signing up for new accounts whose verification emails land in your inbox.

Jealous Partner

If this is the case, here is how to protect yourself

1.Since installing spy apps require physical access to your device, putting a passcode on your phone greatly reduces the chances of someone being able to access your phone in the first place. And since spy apps are often installed by someone close to you (think spouse or significant other), pick a code that won’t be guessed by anyone else.

2. Go through your apps list for ones you don’t recognize.

3. Keep in mind how you usually verify your identity with various accounts – for example, your bank will never ask you to input your full password or PIN.

4. Avoid clicking links from numbers you don’t know, or in curiously vague messages from friends, especially if you can’t see the full URL.

5.If you do click on the link and end up downloading an app, your Android phone should notify you. Delete the app and/or run a mobile security scan.

6. Create a strong password for your key accounts (email especially).

7. Enable login notifications so you’re aware of sign-ins from new computers or locations.

8 .Enable two-factor authentication so that even if someone discovers your password they can’t access your account without access to your phone.

9.To prevent someone resetting your password, lie when setting up password security questions. You would be amazed how many security questions rely on information that is easily available on the Internet or is widely known by your family and friends. Example if the name of your boyfriend is “Neka” and the device ask “What is the name of your spouse” as a test question, it’s ok to type something else. *winks*

Here are some tips and revelations from my Facebook page as well;

Jealous partnerJealous partner hacking phoneJealous PartnerJealous partner

Like Dewunmi Lagos commented on the last screenshot; “May God save us from any man or woman who has insecurity issues”. They are like ticking bombs and their explosion could result into violence.

Run from any jealous partner as far as you can. You deserve love that doesn’t require suffering first.

Have you experienced this in anyway too? Kindly share with us.

Kindly like, follow, share and drop your comments. *winks*

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How to leave a toxic relationship

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Are you dating a man child? Do you know the attributes of a man child? There are many men in relationships who behave like children and expect their women to keep putting up with their childish behaviour. They don’t know what it means to love and respect a woman. Some men still behave like babies who need to be bottle fed because they are still holding on to the archaic belief that men are like babies.

Such men are bad news. Women should stop putting up with them for the sake of their sanity. Women should be careful not to fall for the tantrums these men throw. They are the ones who believe that abuse is not bad. They subtly encourage emotional and psychological abuse. They use religion and culture to cover up abuse.

Here are 10 characteristics of a man child women shouldn’t ignore:

He refuses to grow up

A man child refuses to grow up. He believes that a woman must babysit him, take care of him and clean up after him. Dealing with this kind of man brings nothing but drama and heartaches. He expects you to wash his clothes, clean his apartment, clean up after his relatives, and pay his bills too. When he goes into debt, he expects you to bail him out. He expects you to always make excuses for his bad behaviour, rationalize his poor choices and please him at all costs.

He whines about not getting sex

When you are not in the mood to have sex, the man child throws a tantrum. He complains about not getting what he wants like a child he didn’t get his favourite candy. He remains in a bad mood and becomes distant for not getting what he wants. He punishes you for not having sex with him by being moody. He also gives you the silent treatment. He doesn’t care about you or your reasons for not having sex with him. He’s selfish. It’s all about him. You really don’t matter.

He avoids conflict

Don’t let a man make you feel like you are troublesome because you need to discuss an issue. That is one of the signs of a man child. He will tell you he doesn’t want to fight and  won’t engage in an argument. He will claim that you love fight too much instead of listening to your concerns and working with you to make sure your relationship continues to go smoothly. Sometimes, arguing is part of a healthy relationship.

He avoids responsibilities

He will try to get away with doing things for you no matter how little they are. If you need a ride to the airport, he will come up with excuses as to why he can’t do it. If you need help with your car, he has reasons why he just can’t be there.

He tries to make you jealous

If a man child is unfaithful, or flirts with other women in your presence, he dismisses your concerns about his irresponsible actions. When you say it makes you uncomfortable, he tells you that doing that is not technically cheating.

He is quick to stop his woman from advancing in her career

All a man child wants to do is play with you. So if you can’t join him for fun because you are working hard for yourself and making your own money, he is not excited for you. He is not proud of you. He only complains that you don’t spend time with him. he sees your advancement to the top as a threat to his masculinity. Dealing with a man child is stressful. It’s like everything you do or say is a problem.

He supports gender equality when it benefits him

A man child supports feminism only when it suits him and when his woman has to settle his bills. That is when he will shout gender equality until his voice goes hoarse. A man child will let you foot the bill every time, because you have a lot more money than he does or because you offer to do so. He won’t remember then that it is an abomination for a woman to pay for a man’s food or take care of his money needs.

He subscribes to toxic masculinity

He thinks to be masculine means to never discuss emotions. He sees men who show emotions as weak men. If you try to ask him about his feelings, he becomes irritated with you, as if you are crossing a line and shouts you down. A man child leaves you feeling like you did something wrong.

He splashes negative feelings everywhere

A man child can be a little bit too comfortable with his emotions. He may have been a spoiled child whose tantrums were never dealt with. He will go to your friend’s birthday party in a bad mood sulking about what happened to him that day. He will not control his emotions, even if that means ruining everyone else’s mood.

He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions

Such men don’t know what it means to be responsible or take responsibility for their actions. They blame you for cheating on you, blame you for being abusive and also blame you when things start going downhill for them. Such men find it hard to own up to their mistakes and actions.

The fear of getting into a studio was one of the troubles Nicki Minaj had to deal with in an abusive relationship which caused her to lose confidence in herself.

This is captured in her “Queen”documentary which is yet to have a date of release.The rapper dropped two teasers on her IG on Tuesday, both talking about her experiences as a little girl who was exposed to domestic violence and a bad relationship.

In one of the clips, she recalls rushing in to protect her mum from a father who is reportedly abusive.

“I let one human being make me so low that I didn’t even remember who I was. I was scared to get in the studio. I didn’t believe in myself,” 35-year-old Minaj mentions while talking about an abusive relationship

Spending time away from New York helped her handle this challenge. In Miami she recorded ‘Coco Chanel’ and ‘Good Form’ both captured in her August album “Queen”.

Credit: Pulse