womenofrubies Archives

In self development June 13, 2017 By Esther Ijewere

LYDIA OLADEJO: ”I SNATCHED BACK MY INNER POWER AND CHANGED THE GAME”

Most people find it hard to believe me when I say I’m an oddball (considering the fact that I’m usually the life of the party, anywhere I go)..but that’s just the truth. While growing up, I felt that I didn’t really fit in at home or in school but I just played along and did what I was told to do..but I felt out of place! I was quite a spontaneous and stubborn girl so I broke lot of rules and jinxs. I didn’t want to look like a bastard so I stopped being myself and tried being all obedient.

While my friends were writing love letters in primary school, I preferred writing short stories..I even dared to start a mini magazine then, and forged an imaginary email address..lily@yahoo.com (lol, what was I even thinking??). In secondary school, I tried writing love letters but i failed. I was contented writing abusive letters upandan because I could abuse a ghost then!

I knew I didn’t really fit in but I was trying my very best to fit in so everyone wouldn’t see me as a weirdo. I wanted to be a whole lot in the future so I kept on changing careers and when people started tagging me as being unserious, I chose to be a lawyer but I knew I had a lot of talents and wanted to maximise all my potentials! I gained admission into tertiary institution and rushed into a relationship so I could prove to friends that I wasn’t all ‘holy-holy’ and I ended up burning my fingers in the process!

Arrghhh, let me cut the whole story short! All my life, I tried too hard to please family and friends..literally everyone, and then everyone started taking me for granted. I wanted everyone to pat me on the back for being a good and obedient girl. I looked for love in the wrong places. I wanted kudos for stuffing my real self into a dark closet, and embracing a personality that ‘suits’ everyone. The love didn’t come, the validation and pat on the back didn’t come too. Instead, I got cheated, insulted, and disappointed repeatedly.

I finally gave myself a knock on the head one day and realized I wasn’t really living..I decided to stop giving a damn! I snatched my inner power and changed the game! I stopped pleasing everybody. I love laughing and smiling a lot but changed because people told me it was all weird and annoying..but now? I laugh with careless abandon! I used to talk a lot but tied up my tongue because people and boyfriends didn’t like my opinionated self..but now? I talk and ask questions..i talk to everyone, including babies and old people (I can talk and greet for Africa.) I left toxic relationships and stay away from people that try to frustrate or judge me! I no longer struggle with making career decision because I now realize that I am made to be an entrepreneur! Yes, I don’t stress myself up by trying to fit in. I am happy the way I am. I talk and relate with everyone I meet without having to pretend to be who I am not! I am truly living now!

It doesn’t matter who you are, don’t try to change to please people (except if you are a mean, awful person). Be your own kind of DUFF, be your own kind of geek. Be you. Do you. Don’t try to be who you are not, just so you can find love or acceptance. We all are not perfect but we are perfect enough in our Creator’s eyes! Be proud of your flaws. Don’t try to hide under anybody’s shadow except God’s own, of course. Seek validation from God, not human beings! If you feel the need to change your lifestyle, do so…not because anybody ask you to, but because you want to.

I Am Lydia And I Am Proud Of Who I Am. I Don’t Follow The Crowd Anymore, I Walk Alone And I Am Not Afraid.

*drops pen*

Written by Lydia Oladejo

In Career Gems June 12, 2017 By Esther Ijewere

BISHOP MIKE OKONKWO SWEEPS HIS WIFE OFF THE FLOOR WITH A SURPRISE SECOND PROPOSAL AFTER 37 YEARS OF MARRIAGE!

Bishop Mike Okonkwo of The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM) surprised his wife, Peace Okwonkwo, of 37 years with a second proposal, on Sunday June 11, 2017. He went on his knee and proposed to her in the presence of his congregation after they had a thanksgiving session during the service to mark her 65th birthday.

Peace Okonkwo has once told Kemi Filani that her husband (Bishop Okonkwo), couldn’t propose to her when they first met becausehe was shy. In her words;

“Bishop is a very shy person and he could not talk to me. After the Civil War, everybody started to go to church because there was nothing to look forward to..he could not propose to me. It was his elder sister that walked up to me on his behalf.”

See photos from the Thanksgiving service, below;

In Interviews&profile June 12, 2017 By Esther Ijewere

#PROFILE| MEET VALENTINA TERESHKOVA, THE FIRST WOMAN TO FLY TO SPACE

Valentina Tershkova was born on 6 March 1937. She is a retired Russian cosmonaut and politician. She is the first woman to have flown in space having been selected from more than 400 applicants and five finalists to pilot Vostok 6 on 16 June 1963. She completed 48 orbits of the Earth in her three days in space.

She was born in the village of Maslennikovo in Tutayevsky District, in central Russia. She went to school in 1945 at the age 8; however, she left school in 1953 and continued her education by correspondence courses.

She became interested in parachuting from a young age, and trained in skydiving at the local Aeroclub, making her first jump at age 22 on 21 May 1959; at the time, she was employed as a textile worker in a local factory. It was her expertise in skydiving that led to her selection as a cosmonaut. In 1961, she became Secretary of the local Komsomol (Young Communist League) and later joined the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.

In order to join the Cosmonaut Corps, Tereshkova was honorarily inducted into the Soviet Air Force and thus she also became the first civilian to fly in space.

Before her recruitment as a cosmonaut, Tereshkova was a textile-factory assembly worker and an amateur skydiver. After the dissolution of the first group of female cosmonauts in 1969, she became a prominent member of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, holding various political offices.

Even though there were plans for further flights by women, it took 19 years until the second woman, Svetlana Savitskaya, flew into space. None of the other four in Tereshkova’s early group flew, and, in October 1969, the pioneering female cosmonaut group was dissolved.

In Interviews&profile June 10, 2017 By Esther Ijewere

#INTERVIEW: “FIREFIGHTING IS A PERSONAL CALL FOR ME” -DOOSHIMA DENNIS, FEMALE FIREFIGHTER

You must have seen her by now, the female fire fighter whose picture went viral few months ago, Many people were in doubt when they came across her picture on social media but she is very real and also passionate about her job. Dooshima Dennis studied Mass communication but got motivated to join the fire service after her cousin got burnt to death due to carelessness. She has been in this business for over two years and loves her job passionately, the native of Tiv Benue State shares her story in this exclusive interview.

Inspiration

I’ve always wanted to do something out of the ordinary with myself , something challenging. In fact helping people connect with work and play that makes them happy is a key reason why I do my work with passion. Humanitarian service

Full nature of my job

A typical day for me is quite challenging because no event of fire is identical immediately we receive a distress call and turn out from our station headed towards the scene of incidence and while people are running out of the building we are running in. It’s not an easy job to do, but once you put your mind to it, trust me you can.

My parents’ stand concerning my choice of career

As a young girl, my method of helping others step away from stress was humor , I believe my Angels parent will be proud of what am doing.

Challenges

This can usually be the tragic effects of a bad situation or event that you strive to prevent or make better ……. and sometimes can’t despite our best efforts, not being able to avert or alleviate people’s suffering at that point in time saddens my heart. Sometimes I just imagine the faces of those I love in the faces of the people we are trying to help ,as I pray to God that my family and loved ones will never be placed in such situation

Doing a job which many people consider as exclusive to men

“The risk firemen go through is extremely high so there’s this belief it’s a man’s occupation (dangerous). Also, there’s a tendency to often think that women’s physique or psychology hasn’t quite gotten what it (takes) to be on the front line.”

Greatest reward

For me it is the fact that I am able to become a small link in helping people who are in deplorable conditions and to be able to see the joy in their eyes when they receive aid – especially children, women and men. It brings tears to my eyes. I am happy to be a helping link. They were in a bad situation and because of an intervention they are now able to be in a different situation and that is most rewarding.

Loving my Job

The best part of the job for me is knowing I’m doing my part to make a difference. With all the negatives people tend to attach to us, we’re on the ground to do some good. Whether paid or volunteer, that’s what this job is all about. There will never be a better feeling than knowing you did your part in saving someone’s life, possessions, or home. Thanks to all of the fellow brothers and sisters for doing your part.”

On whether Nigerians are sensitized on how to avoid and manage fire outbreaks

Awareness is on yet a lot of people don’t seem to take heed when it comes to issues of safety as compared to security. So many houses in Nigeria don’t get to meet up safety standards or fire prevention and protection system of a building, yet when there is an incidence of fire we blame the fire services for what’s not. A building should have an alternative exit door, smoke alarms, fire extinguishers, fire blankets etc. Every fire starts small except for an explosion and reaction of highly flammable liquids and gases. However, if a fire does break out in a building it is necessary for someone to use the fire extinguishing media to prevent fire spread or extinguish the fire while it’s just developing while u call the fire service. But most people just blame firefighters for what’s not. what’s your line of defence against fire in your house?? Does your house have emergency plan?? Do you have fire service no?? Are there alternative sources of water in your premises/area such as reservoir, hydrants etc. to enable firefighters refill their fire trucks in case they run out of water? Remember every fire starts small and can be prevented if you adhere strictly to safety instructions like, having fire extinguisher, good housekeeping and so on. SAFETY SHOULD BE OUR WATCHWORD and it starts with YOU!!!! A big mansion worth millions or a small bungalow just for you to rest your head after the hectic day at work shouldn’t be neglected in terms of provision of fire safety and prevention gadgets. As it goes prevention is not just better but also cheaper. Awareness is on and we’ll not rest on our oars until we expunge the scourge and manage call fire.

Other projects and activities

As a child I said if one day I can support and help others, I will do it. It was a personal call. Being a humanitarian provides me with the opportunity to exert all effort possible (physical and intellectual) to save lives and give hope to burn victims -affected populations

Who and what inspires me

So often in life, it is hard to feel like we are making any real impact. Doing a good deed is always nice, returning a lost phone to a stranger, buying a homeless person a plate of food, helping an elderly person up or visiting orphanages , these acts all help somebody and make you feel good. But, what if your impact wasn’t just a temporary thing, what if it not only changed somebody’s day, but changed their life?

How I unwind

I work 5 days a week – I like to watch movies, read, visit with family and friends, go shopping and travel. Basically anything that keeps me occupied and that I enjoy doing.

Final word for women who aspire to go into my line of work

Be yourself, stay out of trouble and stay healthy. Be open minded and flexible, willing to try new things and listen to new ideas.

In self development June 10, 2017 By Women of Rubies

HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR HUSBAND LOOKING AT OTHER WOMEN

Some men can’t resist looking, even if they don’t mean to hurt you.

When I was little, I would watch my father. When we would walk down a street and there was a beautiful woman, he would always watch her closely. Even though his daughters and wife were present, he didn’t mind.

My mother didn’t seem to care too much, either. However, since I had the tendency to be jealous, I told myself I would never let my husband look at other women like that in front of me.

I’m fortunate to have a good, respectful man. However, I have caught my husband a few times looking at another woman and we’ve had great discussions about it. After talking it through and explaining our feelings, we were able to understand each other. I know my husband loves me, but that doesn’t mean he can’t notice the people around him. There’s nothing a good, respectful conversation can’t solve.

If you’ve caught your husband looking at another woman, it most likely made you feel jealous and bad about yourself. However, he probably didn’t intend to hurt you. It’s so important to talk to him and express how much it affects you. When you catch your man glancing at a pretty lady, follow these tips:

Don’t make a public scene

When it happens, let him know you saw, but don’t talk about it until you get home. Now is not the time to argue. It’ll be better to discuss the problem in the safety and privacy of your home.

Change roles

Tell him to put himself in your shoes. Ask how he would feel if you were to gawk at all the attractive men walking down the street. Once he understands how his glances hurt you (and what it would feel like in return), he’ll have a better understanding of what his looks do to his wife.

Make an effort

Some men like to think they’re pretty macho, and they use this as an excuse to minimize their woman’s jealousy. Ask your husband to make an effort to avoid looking at other women, at least in front of you.

4. Show him love

Maybe your man just needs to feel loved. Dress up, go on dates with him and show him how much you love and appreciate him and his efforts for your family. When he feels that love and appreciation, he’s sure to reciprocate the actions.

Communication is undoubtedly the best remedy for misunderstandings in a relationship. Don’t stop talking and don’t get angry even when you feel like it. Make sure your husband knows exactly how you’re feeling and talk about it. Dealing with a husband who has a wandering eye isn’t easy, but it can be improved with love and respect.

By: Fernanda Gonzalez for Familyshare.com

In self development June 10, 2017 By Women of Rubies

5 THINGS A MAN IS ONLY WILLING TO DO FOR THE WOMAN HE REALLY LOVES

Of course, there are about a million ways to tell if your mister really loves you, but if he does these six things, you know he truly does:

He’ll listen – truly listen – to you

When you honestly love your spouse, their words matter to you. You even go as far as to seek out their opinions. This is especially true for men.When he listens to your advice and counsel, you know he loves you. It shows that he trusts you and values your opinion enough to take what you have to say to heart.

He’ll argue with you

This might seem a little strange, but hear me out. How many times do you argue with someone you don’t care about? You probably don’t because you only care about resolving issues and disagreements with the people who matter most to you. Of course, if arguments are happening constantly and you’re always picking fights with each other, that’s not healthy. However, a man who really loves you will always want to work things out, even if that means a heated discussion. He’ll constantly build the relationship, even if you have to argue to get there.

He’ll be willing to change his mind

I love him, but my husband is stubborn – he might be one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. That being said, he is willing to change if it makes me happy. This goes for any man – even the most stubborn of men can change their plans if it benefits the woman they adore.

He’ll do this because he respects his opinions and ideas are important to him. You know your man loves you when is able to compromise on things he had firm opinions on before. You’ll know he really loves you when he does this with a happy and willing heart.

He’ll always fight for you

This goes beyond the idea that males want what they want and they’ll do anything to get it. He knows you’re one of a kind, something he can’t just find anywhere else. Because of this, he’ll fight for you.

He would never fight for something or someone he doesn’t really care about, but because he loves you, he will always be there to defend you or help you in any way he can.

He’ll be completely honest with you

If you’re doing something that drives him crazy, he’ll tell you. If he’s going somewhere with his friends, he’s not going to lie about where they’re going or what they’re doing (he wouldn’t want to do anything you would disapprove of, anyway).

He tells you the truth because he respects you and loves you more than anything in the world. Also, you’ll know it’s true love if he doesn’t feel the need to lie because he would never do anything bad enough to fib about in the first place.

Lastly, He’ll do anything for you – the woman he truly loves

A man in love supports, uplifts, guides, helps and is just there for his lovely wife. He is there to have fun with her, share her dreams and ambitions, laugh with her and even cry with her.

Love means that he wants to spend his life with you by his side, and face whatever obstacles may arise.

If you want to know for yourself that your man loves you, look out for these six things. If he has done them and more, never, ever let that him go.

Source: Familyshare.com

In Career Gems June 9, 2017 By Women of Rubies

WATCH HOW PLANE CRASH SURVIVOR KACHI OKWUCHI MOVED JUDGES TO TEARS ON AMERICA’S GOT TALENT

America’s Got Talent contestant Kechi Okwuchi is an inspiration.

Kechi survived the 2005 Sosoliso Airlines plane crash in Nigeria that took the lives of over a 100 persons on board. She is one of the two survivors.

After such a harrowing experience, music became her escape as she lay on her hospital bed, bandaged head to foot, not being able to move.

Watch her beautiful rendition of Ed Sheeran‘s Thinking out Loud:

https://youtu.be/iUP9lehOji0

In Career Gems June 8, 2017 By Esther Ijewere

“I BELIEVE IN STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF , BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL DEFEND YOU BETTER THAN YOURSELF” – BISOLA AIYEOLA

Her romance with Thin Tall Tony, Bisola Aiyeola was greatly criticized especially when it became known that she is a mother

In an interview with Ebuka Obi Uchendu on “Rubbin Minds,” The Big Brother Naija star Bisola explained that she doesn’t regret her actions in the house.She explained that if all she did on the show was done by a single father, he would have been hailed.

According to her:,

There’s a stigma attached to single mothers especially if you have a child outside wedlock. You’re judged. A lot of people actually said to me that they thought I had my child when I was in secondary school but no I was a grown woman. I was 23-years old when I had her.

But you know, they make it seem like the whole world is against you. It’s now up to the woman to bring herself up and I have an amazing family. My mom has always been on my side. If I was a guy, I would be celebrated more.

On Tiny Tall

No. I don’t want to dwell on the issue. Personally, I don’t think there is nothing he has to explain to me. I would like him to go on with his family. I don’t want to cause any problems, especially with social media.

Although, I felt like he did me wrong. I felt like we were friends, the least you could do is tell me this and tell me to keep it a secret and I would have done that. I felt he did me bad on that but that’s just about it. It was a game. But I’m seeing it from the game perspective like he felt that was the way he felt he could play his game and I can’t judge him for that.

But moving on now, there were times we’ve been at gatherings together and we take pictures and the next thing, I start getting DMs and comments saying, “why is she standing far away from him?” and people take this thing really seriously and I’m like, “I’m trying to make the most of this platform, he’s trying to make the most of this platform, like, he’s doing his business, I’m doing my business.”

The show is over and it’s real life now. I just felt he did what he had to do.

Bullying & Anger Issues

I try as much as possible to let myself out when I’m upset. I’ve lived a number of years in my life bottling things in and it didn’t do me any good. I walk around with this lump in my chest upset at somebody who doesn’t even know that they upset me. So, if you make me upset, I’ll just let it out and once it’s done, it’s out there. I do not like bullies personally.

I have friends who I have stood up for in times past, like, “why are you doing this to this person because she can’t talk?” so, when people are saying I have issues, I say maybe it’s their own way of making me look bad on the show but I’m not a bully.

I believe in standing up for yourself and if you can’t defend yourself, just go ahead and defend yourself because nobody else will defend you better than yourself. I’m not a bully. Maybe I talk a lot, yes, I’m a bit expressive and it’s something I learned in the later part of my life and I don’t regret it.

https://youtu.be/Lk4PBc7r3yg

In self development June 7, 2017 By Esther Ijewere

#WCW: CELEBRATING ADESUA ETOMI!

Adesua has featured in quite a number of films, including, The Arbitration, The Wedding Party, and Falling. Her performance in Falling earned her the 2016 Africa Magic Viewers Choice Award for Best Actress In A Drama. Other notable films she has appeared in include A Soldier’s Story (2015), Out of Luck (2015), and Couple of Days (2016). She also played Shiela in the fourth and fifth seasons of Shuga, a television soap opera about HIV/AIDS, among others.

Adesua Etomi also has lots of awards and nominations to her name.

Women of Rubies celebrates you, sweet Adesua ‘Susu’ Etomi!

In self development June 6, 2017 By Women of Rubies

MRS KUSH: GET RID OF THE ANNOYING TINY COCKROACHES IN YOUR KITCHEN

This article is a personal triumph for me, because it took me over a year to figure out how to get rid of the tiny cockroaches that terrorised my kitchen.
We moved into a new house a few years ago and we were on the ground floor. Apparently if you live on the ground floor you are more susceptible to pests. I cannot verify if this is fact or not, but from my experience I am inclined to agree. I read up so many articles on the subject matter and even mentioned it to anyone that cared to listen just in case they had valuable tips. As strange as it sounds, I never knew I would have a “cockroach preference” but bigger cockroaches are better.

The tiny ones are a different species that learnt work from the devil. They are everywhere and multiply in hundreds possibly thousands.

I did the fumigation thing twice. The first time it was effective and 6k well spent, but after about three months they came back.

The second time the fumigation people had upped the price to 10k #blameitonthedollar and I started seeing the cockroaches the very next week.

After so much frustration and several cans of insecticide I decided to do the following to combat the problem:

Do not leave left overs lying around
If you don’t finish your pot of rice, please pack it up and refrigerate. There were times I had cooked late and was too tired to pack up the food, I’d just put the whole pot on paper towels in the fridge. I also kept bread, fruit and even plantain in the fridge.

Make sure you always sweep and mop after cooking. Clean your counter tops and sink to get rid of bits of food.

Food storage containers must be tight fitting and preferably latch shut:
I learnt this the hard way when I opened my container of Garri one day and saw a mini village of cockroaches. I had to bin the whole thing and replace my containers.
The point is to starve the pests as much as possible.

Dismantle your kitchen furniture, if you can
This discovery was by accident. Someone sat on my kitchen counter and when they jumped off accidentally broke one of the legs. In the process of trying to get it fixed we lifted the marble on top and low and behold we found their hiding place!
The cockroaches were lined bumper to bumper on the wood beneath. I quickly grabbed my insecticide and sprayed like a maniac. I voluntarily dismantled the other counter and the findings were the same.

Not all insecticides are the same
Since this is not an advertorial, I’m not allowed to endorse a brand but I can tell you the insecticide I used to combat this problem starts with S and ends with R. There is also a P somewhere in the middle. (**wink** Someone please type it in the comments). I was advised to dilute with kerosene, but I decided against that and diluted with water instead.
I used one part water to one part “miracle cockroach killer liquid” and it was amazing! It worked better than the fumigation and all other insecticides, I tell you. Since I have it to hand I spray nooks and crannies periodically.

Please be careful; this solution is very toxic like other insecticides. Do not spray near food or utensils. When I’m doing a thorough spraying I put my food stuff in the fridge and rewash all my crockery just to be safe.

Keep your fridge cold as much as possible
This is a difficult one, because of NEPA wahala, but I’d mention it nonetheless.

I lost a fridge to tiny cockroaches. In the middle of the cockroach wahala my fridge broke down and I paid a (insert nasty adjective) repair man to fix it.
2 days later it broke down again. It took him 3 months to come back after giving me so many cock and bull stories; but by then it was too late.

The dark dampness of the fridge was very attractive to the cockroaches and they moved in. I luckily saw a fridge online on sale for about 50% off so I replaced it. When he finally fixed it and it worked fine, I had to sell it at a giveaway price to another repair man for parts because the cockroaches never left.

Finally, do not eat in your bedroom
I’ll be honest I’ve never really liked the idea of eating in the room in the first place. Something about your blanket smelling like Efo riro when you’re trying to nod off is not appealing. Anyway, I started noticing the odd tiny cockroach in the room and I knew I needed to act fast. I banned all bedroom eating and filled all my wardrobes and drawers with camphor.
Luckily for me, they didn’t come en mass I suspect the ones I found were “scouts”. The kitchen was becoming inhabitable and they were looking for alternative dwellings. I made sure that didn’t happen and I am proud to say I have been cockroach free for over a year.

Not even one. I still see the odd big one, once in a blue moon, but they are easy to kill no biggie.
Whenever I remember I spray the floor of my kitchen entrance at night (cockroaches are nocturnal) with my insecticide solution to prevent them from coming in.

There were days I was literally in tears because of how defeated I felt about the whole situation. I would sweep and mop my kitchen several times a day to prove to myself that I wasn’t dirty. If you are going through something similar don’t be ashamed, you’d be surprised how many people are going through the same thing. These tips worked for me and I hope they work for you too.

Have you gone through a similar experience? Please share what you did to combat the problem.

Photo Credit: Hongqi Zhang (aka Michael Zhang) | Dreamstime.com

About Mrs Kush

I am a food expert and I say this with confidence because I have the waistline to prove it.
For instagram food porn check @lovemrskush . you’re welcome.

Source: Bellanaija

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