self development Archives

In self development April 15, 2019 By Women of Rubies

OLAWUNMI ADEGOKE: HOW TO DEAL WITH FEAR

F

Whenever you find yourself in a fearful situation, do not fret, do not be quiet, have an answer for it by taking the right actions

Fear is the deadliest emotion anyone can experience. This negative emotion does not only cripple people from taking meaningful steps to better their lives, but it also hinders them from enjoying the best things in life. Fear is clearly a distraction from living your purpose on earth. It is a great killer, by this I mean killer of dreams.

But how does fear come?
Fear comes in different ways. This can be either through an external source or from internal sources. Below is a list of how fear comes:

People
Have you ever noticed that it is so easy for people to not believe in you, your dreams and your goals? Simply put, it is easier for them to discourage than to encourage one. Many times, what people communicate to us is what actually puts fear in us, and interestingly, they seldom know when they are doing this. It might just be out of sheer concern. And if we continue paying attention to what these people say and do to us, we might never have the courage to achieve our goals.

Fear comes also from the kind of people we surround ourselves with. Some people only know how to communicate impossibility. They will find every means to discourage you, instill fear in you, because what you are attempting to do is something they have never done before. They believe: Why attempt to fly like an eagle when you can join them to walk on feet?

Your Inner Self
Another way fear can come is from us ourselves. This is how it happens:

When you have an idea on how to better humanity, fear comes in subtle ways and tells you why you should never take a step on that idea. And the more you gave in to this emotion, the more you get demoralized achieving it.

Past Experiences
Fear can also be an offshoot from past experience. Many times, people do not set all out to be afraid of things, but tracing back to past disappointments and failures, this terrible emotion can come into play.

Having highlighted some ways through which fear can come, the list below provides simple ways through which you can deal with fear:

Dissociate from Pessimistic People
One very useful thing to regularly do is to evaluate the people in your life and identify the roles they play. Some people are cheerleaders, others are energy drainers. The honest truth is that you don’t need everybody on your team, neither do you need everybody to believe in you. Some people don’t just see things the way you do. Stop dragging along people who drain your energy with doubts and fear. Some people just won’t get it.

Surround Yourself with Go-getters
You know the saying: Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are. Well, here is an addition to it: Show me your friend and I will tell you the direction at which your life is headed.

If you want to practically deal with fear all day, you need to surround yourself with “ready to do” changemakers. This issue of surrounding yourself with positive people is non-negotiable. You need people around you who are not afraid to dare the status quo to do the impossible.

Believe in Yourself
You know why most people never get ahead in life? They do not have that self-belief in themselves or their vision. Having self-belief is the fundamental trust you need to achieve anything in life. The next time you want to achieve a goal:

You need to believe it can be done.
Afterwards, believe it will be done.
And then, believe it will be done by you.

Let go of the Past
The past will forever remain the past, and you should never allow it deter you from reaching into the future. There is always so much more you can achieve, so much that you can do with your life, skills and energy. The fact that you made a mistake in the past should not stop you from reaching out for more things. Simply look away from the past and look forward.

Take Actions
There is no better way of dealing with fear than taking action. Get past the ideation phase, where it feels like that which you want to achieve may not possible. Start by taking a step on that idea, even if it’s just baby steps. Continue taking action even when you feel like giving up, and in no time, you would have moved past all the negative fearful emotions.

In conclusion, always remember that fear comes to everyone at some point or the other in life. But the way we respond to this emotion is what will count in the long run. Whenever you find yourself in a fearful situation, do not fret, do not be quiet, have an answer for it by taking the right actions.

Credit: Bella Naija

In self development April 12, 2019 By Women of Rubies

“I WAS NEVER CALLED ‘PRETTY’.. I GREW UP KNOWING I WASN’T THE PRETTIEST” -LAMI PHILIPS

Singer, Lami Philips shared a photo from her childhood days with an emotional background story of how she grew up and the battles she fought.

Read below…

Yeah.. that’s me.. the darkest person in the picture. I grew up “knowing” that I wasn’t the prettiest. My parents friends would joke “blacky”.. or ask me in Yoruba “ki lo de to se jo okunrin bayi “ ( why do you look so much like a boy). I was told I was short and thick ( it sounds worse in Yoruba).
I was also asked why i looked like my dad. Why wasn’t I light skinned like my mother? So many questions… all somehow directed at making me subconsciously question the way I looked. Over time.. I decided to ignore or compartmentalize those insecurities. I ignored the fact that I was somewhat unrecognizable in photographs or less favored for certain opportunities.
I was never called pretty as much as I can remember. I convinced myself that I was ordinary. Thank God for my sense of humour because I allowed it all dust off my shoulders by joking about it. So as a teenager when a boy said he liked me .. I wouldn’t believe it. Why would he like me when there are others prettier than me? Little did I know that I was far from ordinary. Little did they know.. that I was beautiful… TO UNDERSTAND THE FRUIT WE MUST EXAMINE THE ROOT. Excuse me as I pursue PURPOSE. (Most people won’t understand the “purpose” or meaning of this post/caption.. and that’s ok too)
Credit: LIB

In self development April 12, 2019 By Women of Rubies

KATE HENSHAW BELIEVES ‘4TH REPUBLIC’ DEPICTS HOPE FOR A FIRST FEMALE GOVERNOR IN NIGERIA

Kate Henshaw believes Ishaya Bako’s ‘4th Republic’ shows hope for a first female governor

In an exclusive interview with Pulse, the lead character in ‘4th Republic’ said the movie speaks to a hope in the future that hopefully, a woman one day will become a governor in Nigeria.

“It was really, really good working with the Ishaya Bako, and Ben Peever, Linda, Eyinna and Uncle bimbo. It was quite an experience because it portrays our political terrain the way we do politics here in Nigeria. And it also speaks to a hope in the future that hopefully, a woman one day will become a governor, not just a deputy as is the norm,” Henshaw told Pulse.

Speaking on her role in the movie, she said her involvement in active politics five years ago really helped her get into character. She further expressed how the emotions she had to portray playing the role came from a real place.

“Another thing is, I believe why they chose me for that role is because I’d run for office in 2014. So the emotions that I had to portray playing that role were coming from a real place. It really helped me. And it was hard which was for, I think almost a month in Abuja and then I had to leave to do the world’s best because, I couldn’t complete some scenes but they had some pickup shots without me, which was okay,” she opened up.

The ‘When the sun sets’ actress was quick to note that she’s ready to go back into politics but lack the funds required to back her willingness.

Kate Henshaw said her involvement in active politics five years ago really helped her get into character in ‘4th Republic’. [Pulse]

“Willingness to serve is not going to be a problem for me but is to have the do I the war chest which is money plenty of money Nigeria’s politics is money, money very, very much capital oriented.

“I don’t have that kind of money to throw away I’m saying through a way because sometimes if you spend that money you’re not guaranteed of a win because it’s a vicious cycle the people keep expecting money you give them money they vote for you when you vote with people they go the reps or whoever the senators are they go away for four years they come back and throw money at you, you receive it even though in this last political dispensation there are a few surprises which is very good and I think that people are their eyes are getting you know open and they’re getting wise to the political antics,” she expressed.

Henshaw contested for the ticket of the Peoples Democratic Party to represent Calabar Municipal/Odukpani Federal Constituency vie for a seat at the Federal House of Representatives.

Credit: Pulse

In self development April 11, 2019 By Women of Rubies

WOMAN BECOMES SURROGATE MOTHER FOR HER TWIN SISTER WHO COULDN’T GET PREGNANT BECAUSE OF RARE HEREDITARY DISEASE

After watching her twin sister 34-year-old Whitney Bliesner battle a rare hereditary disease called Neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2) her entire life, Jill Noe couldn’t stand to see her experience another ounce of pain.

Whitney wanted a family more than anything, but her disease, which causes benign tumours to grow throughout the nervous system, prevented her from having a natural pregnancy. That’s when Jill stepped in to be her twin sister’s surrogate.

Whitney Bliesner has Neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2), which Mayo Clinic defines as “a genetic disorder that causes tumours to form on nerve tissue anywhere in your nervous system, including your brain, spinal cord and nerves.”

“She’s always wanted to be a mom and her disease has already taken so much from her,” Roe told Today of her inspiration behind the generous gesture. “I wasn’t going to allow (NF2) to take this opportunity from her, too. She’s my best friend and I know she would have done the same for me.”

“I really didn’t put much thought into becoming a surrogate at all,” she added. “It just felt like the right thing to do. Our family is so strong and so supportive of one another, especially since Whit’s diagnosis in 8th grade.”

Despite her initial willingness to help, the road to getting pregnant was a long one for Jill. After her first round of IVF failed, Jill was left feeling like she had failed her sister.

It was such a tough and sombre day for all of us. Whit — true to form — was positive and sweet. She encouraged me and lifted me right back up and said, ‘It’s OK. If and when you are ready, let’s try again.’”Noe is now 30 weeks along in her pregnancy with a healthy set of twins, a boy and a girl, due June 6. The soon-to-be parents have already picked out the names, Rhett for the boy and Rhenley for the girl.Noe and Bliesner have been supported by their family, especially their mother, whom Noe described as “the catalyst” for them to be such a strong family.“It’s just instilled in me and Whitney, and obviously my other siblings, that no matter what adversities we faced, we’re always there together and we’ll go through it as one big strong unit,” Noe said.

Credit: Fab Woman

In self development April 11, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

URU EKE: OPEN YOUR MIND TO ONLINE DATING

Online dating isn’t supposed to replace face-to-face human interaction. It’s more of a means of connecting you to other compatible singles that you might want to meet in person. I think dating online should be called online meeting, because the dating is supposed to happen in real life, not virtually

The world is turning digital and so has the dating game. A lot more people have explored the option of dating online because, to be honest, except you’re very active socially, the chances of meeting ‘the one’ on your daily grind are limiting.

There used to be a stigma surrounding online dating, and I think part of it was residual, as judgement was passed down from our parents. Our parents didn’t grow up with the internet, so they view it with a certain distance. But with the advent of the technology, the internet and social media, our world has been cracked wide open.

You get to watch people livestream everything about themselves, post pictures of their day-to-day activities, ups, downs and daily grind. Send a message to a stranger via their social network handle and if you’re lucky, you get a response. Technology has made it somewhat easier to date and connect with people all around the globe. Imagine If your soulmate lived in China and you live all the way in Bulgaria, at least with various apps you can watch and communicate with them in real time.

Almost every facet of our lives is online now: buying clothes, watching TV, ordering food, filing taxes, registering to vote, getting a job, streaming movies, and so on. Online dating isn’t supposed to replace face-to-face human interaction. It’s more of a means of connecting you to other compatible singles that you might want to meet in person. I think dating online should be called online meeting, because the dating is supposed to happen in real life, not virtually. And the people you find on these sites vary so much, you really can’t go wrong.

There was a dating show I used to watch called Millionaire Matchmaker, where millionaires paid premium to this lady called Patty to find them a match. During the opening montage she would say, “Everybody wants love, but not everyone finds it.” She has positioned herself as a connector and boasts of a very high success rate, but you would have to pay heavy for her service. For those of us who can’t afford an expensive matchmaker, the internet is free.

Love is a fundamental human need. Most people meet their significant others through their social circles or work/school functions. However, these pools can be relatively shallow. In the search for a potential date, more and more people are switching to less traditional methods. A few celebrities couples we know have confessed to have connected this way, and are in loving meaningful relationships/marriages today.

Please, if you are going to date online, tread with caution, as there are a lot of weirdos prowling the cyberspace. A few years ago a story made the headlines about a girl called Cynthia Osokogu, daughter to a military officer, who was murdered by a man she met on Facebook. So it is absolutely important to be careful and observant when talking to anyone online. Put your FBI cap on, do some background checks if you must. Don’t give away to much information about yourself. For years there have been stories of internet love scams, and as popular as these stories are, more and more people keep falling prey.

Dating online also allows people exaggerate their profile by fabricating their lives to seem more attractive. So it’s important to be discerning. Take your time, ask questions – lots of questions. Ask for pictures, make video calls, and if they refuse to a video call – red flags should start to go up.

Not to discourage you, but if you are going to try dating online, research your options. Forbes reports that there are about 8,000 dating sites in the world, so ask for recommendations from friends, family, etc. Check out the popular ones, sites that have conducted interviews and have media coverage. In essence, open your mind to other forms of connecting with people and see searching online as a possibility.

In self development April 10, 2019 By Women of Rubies

MEDIA PERSONALITY, BOLANLE OLUKANNI OPENS UP ON HOW SHE BATTLED WITH SELF-CONFIDENCE AS A TEENAGER BECAUSE OF HER STRETCH MARKS

Media personality, Bolanle Olukanni has revealed that she had to struggle with self-confidence as a teenager because she battled with stretch marks. On Tuesday, April 9, 2019, she took to her Instagram page where she wrote on her battles and finally getting over it after a while.

“I first got stretch marks on my shoulders when I had my first Growth spurt. I was probably 12. All my friends would wear tank tops and spaghetti tops and I felt like I had to cover my shoulders. It affected my confidence during my teenage years and I spent my early adulthood hiding my shoulders. Well, I finally got over it and I realized it’s not a big deal. So to women and men who have stretch marks and feel self-conscious about it …please don’t – you are beautiful no matter what ! ❤️❤️❤️ #beautylook #growingpains #stretchmarks #flawsandall,” she wrote.

Credit: Pulse

In self development April 10, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

TAMMY KYNE: THE BEAUTY OF BEING YOURSELF

It is a terrible feeling to be expected to do or complete something that you are not sure you can do. This can cause undue and unnecessary stress. When you are yourself, you are honest about your limitations, and this gives you the margin you need to maneuver and if necessary outsource jobs or tasks that you can’t do by yourself. I do that alot myself, first for my sanity and secondly to avoid burning out.

One of the biggest lessons I have learnt in the last three years on being yourself is that ; No matter how much you plan, how many team members you have, how great your ideas are, or how much capital you have, you could face disappointment and failure if you are not authentic. We have all had experiences where we felt like we were swimming against the current. Things were just not going well (or as well as we would like) and we had to stop, reevaluate, and regroup.

Everyone knows what you can and can’t do. Your employees very quickly learn your strengths and weaknesses. They get to know what makes you happy and what drives you crazy.

There are a number of benefits to being authentic. Here is just a short list to help motivate you

You are not expected to be perfect

Humility in business is not the same as self-degradation. An element of respect exists when you are sure about your capabilities. After all, we only have 100 percent. If you are giving that 100 percent in an authentic way, that gives you a better chance at success.

You will learn more.

By knowing and being yourself, you are better able to acknowledge things that you do not know well enough. You won’t be too proud to ask questions because you – and, hopefully, everyone you work with – know how genuine you are. People will respect your ability and even eagerness to pick their brains.

Your goals are clear.

People who are themselves and live happy, fulfilling, authentic lives, have clear goals and ambitions. They are very clear on their motivations and do not overextend themselves to achieve needless results. In other words, they have a laser focus on the important things.

While sharing intimate insights into your life would not be an appropriate means to build fruitful business relationships, it has become quite a trend for colleagues, employees, and employers to share their more human sides.

By using your authenticity and being who you are at your core, you can build trust in your relationships and create a business climate in your life, and work that allows for real fulfillment and joy.

In self development April 8, 2019 By Women of Rubies

SUPER FALCONS PLAYER, INI ABASI UMOTONG GRADUATES WITH FIRST CLASS HONORS FROM SOUTH HAMPTON UNIVERSITY

Super Falcons of Nigeria player, Ini-Abasi Umotong has graduated with a First Class Honours degree in Economics from the University of Southampton.

On Thursday, Umotong shared this good news on Facebook:

“DELIGHTED TO BE GRADUATING WITH A FIRST CLASS HONOURS IN ECONOMICS WITH A FIRST CLASS DISSERTATION!”

For the Nigeria’s senior women’s team, Ini-Abasi Umotong has made only one appearance. Also, she represented Nigeria at the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup in Canada, even though she didn’t get the chance to play.

In November 2018, Ini- Ini-Abasi Umotong won two awards at the FA’s Women’s Award ceremony: the FA Women’s Super League 2 Players’ Player of the Year award and Top Goalscorer award.

These awards came after she had an outstanding debut season for Oxford United.

Credit: fabwoman.ng

In self development April 6, 2019 By Women of Rubies

NOLLYWOOD ACTRESS, ZAINAB BALOGUN OPENS UP ON HOW SHE MET HER HUSBAND

Nollywood actress Zainab Balogun has opened up on how she met her husband, Dikko Nwachukwu, who is the owner of Jetwest Airways.

According to the award-winning screen star who surprised many when she got married to Dikko last year, has now revealed how they met and how life has been as a step mum to her husband’s two sons.

In a fresh interview with Bolanle Olukanni for Ndani TV, Zainab said;

”I honestly didn’t envision I would get married as soon as I did. For me, it has always been about connections. I have never particularly dated guys for what they had or what they can give me. So when you meet someone that is the definition of kindness, of partnership, of love, of understanding, it just makes life easy. I think that is when you know somebody is for you, when it is not hard, when you don’t have to beg someone for attention, when you don’t have to communicate with you, they love what you do, they push you. It feels effortless.

So we were friends. We were introduced by a mutual friend, comedian Chigurl. She has got the spirit. I don’t know how many marriages Chioma has got under her belt. She was like “I have a guy that really likes you. We always joke and call you Slaynab”.

So we met, we had coffee. I wasn’t sure so I was like we should just be really good friends. We just built a really good bond and he became someone that I would talk to all the time” she said

Before their marriage, Dikko Nwachukwu, was a widower whose wife died in 2015. Speaking on how it was like when she first met his children, Zainab said;

”At first I was Aunty Zainab and I remember my husband saying they really like you. I was like how can you tell and he was like suddenly, they are performing for you. They normally don’t do that. Then we started spending time together, doing all the fun stuff’

”I will never ever forget when we told them that we were going to get married. It was such a special moment. I remember they were sitting down and I was recording, they didn’t know I was recording and I said to them that me and Daddy are thinking getting married.. so how would you feel if I became your mum and we got married? It was so weird they burst into tears. They were so happy and for me, it just made sense.”

Credit: stargist

In self development April 4, 2019 By Women of Rubies

RONKE BAMISEDUN WINS THE SABRE AWARD FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW

Award-winning strategic communication company, BWL Agency, founded by Ronke Bamisedun, has emerged SABRE Award winner for the second consecutive year. BWL Agency was recently announced as the winner for the Media, arts and entertainment category and was also awarded a certificate of excellence for the Gold Sabre, Western African for their work on The Homecoming, a four-day cultural exchange founded by Grace Ladoja MBE, Skepta and BBK Africa.

Ranked one of the Top 100 Fastest Growing SME’s in Nigeria by Nigeria’s leading finance and market intelligence news report, Business Day in 2018, BWL Agency is made up of a team of unconventional communication consultants who have become industry disruptors through their audacious and compelling campaigns. The industry under-dogs are at the helm of some of the country’s most successful cultural platforms – shaping dialogues and correcting cultural narratives with one campaign at a time.

The SABRE (Superior Achievement in Branding, Reputation & Engagement)Awards is the world’s biggest Public Relations Awards Program, dedicated to benchmarking the best PR work from across the globe. The award ceremony will be taking place on Thursday, May 16thin Kigali, Rwanda.

Ronke Bamisedun Founder of BWL, member of the elite 2018 Forbes 30 Most Promising Young Entrepreneurs in Africa List and CNBC (AABLA) Young Business Leader finalist says

“Last Year we won The SABRE’s for our work on Jameson connects and certificates of excellence for our work on the Martell follow the swift campaign. This year we are elated to win our second SABRE Award and Excellence Certificate for our work on yet another phenomenal brand, Homecoming. Being considered alongside some great agencies and campaigns and then winning in the category is an incredible accomplishment and honor I am extremely humbled by this win.”

She continues,

“I am inspired by the Homecoming team for constantly challenging the status quo, shaping cultural narratives and spotlighting the entertainment industry. We are excited to be working with them again this year for Homecoming 2019”

BWL will be working on the four-day festival this year from Friday 19th April to Monday 21st April 2019.

Credit: Bella Naija

Connect with us