Last Friday, Oprah Winfrey paid a visit to West Side High School in Newark, New Jersey to not only surprise the students and staff with a pizza party, but to also give a $500,000 donation for its after school program called “Lights On.”
The program, which was started by the school’s principal Akbar Cook, provides students with a safe place to gather on Friday nights where they can play basketball, video games, shoot pool or practice cheers until 11 p.m. throughout the school year, CNN reports. Over the summer, the program runs three times a week.
In addition to implementing the “Lights On” on program, Principal Cook also installed a laundry room in the school after finding out that students with dirty clothes were being bullied by their peers and, in turn, missing class.
Winfrey posted a video about her visit on Facebook, saying, “When I saw what Principal Akbar Cook was doing for his students at West Side High School in Newark, NJ, I had to come see what it was all about and share some delicious O, That’s Good pizza.”
In a video posted by Cook, Winfrey announced her half a million dollar donation to the school, and added that she wants to encourage the community to “keep doing what you’re doing because what you’re doing is moving in the right direction.”
Cook’s work and influence at his school was first shared on a national platform when he appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show last September. He tells NJ.com that since his appearance, his school has received gifts of detergent, clothing and toiletries from all over the world.
“It’s crazy man,” said Cook, who also serves as the school’s varsity basketball coach. “I never thought anything like this would happen.”
In March, DeGeneres invited the principal back on her show to further praise the work he’s doing and to give him a $50,000 check for his school.
This past February, after sending Cook a personal letter, Newark’s former mayor and current presidential candidate Sen. Cory Book praised the principal on Twitter, saying, “His tireless work is an inspiration to us all.”
Principal Cook, thank you for making a difference!
Publisher, Betty Irabor, who has battled depression and attempted suicide in the past, shared a thoughtful piece on her Instagram page on Sunday.
In her write-up, the 63-year-old appealed to anyone suffering depression to seek help and deal with the root cause of their hollowness. According to Irabor, getting married, pregnant or buying material things, would not make them feel any better when the root cause of their depression hasn’t been dealt with. She wrote;
I was about 12 when I first saw a Rolls Royce. It’s owner was a guest of mum. Did I show off on that day? I earned renewed respect in the hood on Akinwunmi street.. well at least for few days! Sigh!! Yesterday I took the liberty of posing by this vintage monster of a ride In Warri. Na pose I pose o, I didn’t say it’s mine before you people will come for me!!
I remember thinking while in the throes of depression that as soon as my new ride arrived I would feel better. I didn’t feel better. And that’s how it goes on; when I get married I will feel better, when I am rich I will feel better, when I have children I will feel better, when I get that designer bag I will feel better, when I move into my new house I will feel better.
Truth is, things or people don’t make us feel better until we fix the cancer within and own up to the fact that we feel hollow within and need help. We carry around burdens and pains that we need to offload so we can travel light. We cannot fake true happiness, it expires as soon as we are alone and the reality of what we are masking hits us. We can lie to the world about how well we are on the outside but we can’t deceive our selves… Life is about finding joy in little abundance and trusting that our current situation is only a part of our long journey….This present challenge is only a comma in a sentence and not the full stop…
Focus on what truly counts and live one day at a time. Most of us dont have it all figured out… na packaging…
Don’t give up on yourself, believe in endless possibilities and don’t focus on what could have been…
A number of people are plagued with mouth odor and they might not be fully aware to what extent it makes people around them uncomfortable.
Bad breath typically originates in the mouth, where bacteria are ever present. When you eat, bits of food get caught in your teeth. Bacteria grow on these bits of food, releasing foul-smelling sulfur compounds.
The most common cause of bad breath is poor dental hygiene. If you don’t brush and floss often, the bacteria in your mouth continue to grow, and a thin film of bacteria known as plaque builds up on your teeth.
Here are a few ways to get rid of bad breath naturally;
1. Parsley
Parsley has a fresh scent and high chlorophyll content which suggests that it can have a deodorizing effect. To use parsley for bad breath, chew on fresh leaves after each meal or buy a parsley dietary supplement
2. Green Tea
Green tea is an effective home remedy for bad breath because it has disinfectant and deodorizing properties that can temporarily freshen the breath. Mint has similar effects, so a cup of green mint tea may be an ideal breath freshener.
3. Fennel and Anise Seeds
Fennel and anise seeds have been used to freshen breath. In parts of India, roasted fennel seeds are still used as mouth fresheners, to cleanse after-dinner breath. They taste sweet and contain aromatic essential oils that give the breath a fresh scent. Fennel and anise seeds can be eaten plain, roasted, or coated with sugar.
4. Yogurt
Yogurt contains healthy bacteria called lactobacillus and these healthy bacteria can help combat bad bacteria in various parts of your body, like your gut. To use yogurt to fight bad breath, have one serving per day of plain, nonfat yogurt.
The number of women of color who own their own businesses rose by 8% last year. This increase is largely due to “poor treatment and the perception of being undervalued in the workplace,” according to a 2017 report by the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City. In fact, “a much greater gender and racial pay gap have led women of color to start businesses at a higher rate out of necessity and the need to survive,” the 2018 State of Women-Owned Business Report found.
This is not surprising to me.
If I had to find one word to describe my journey of management and leadership as a black woman, I’d go with “lonely” ― not your typical sad lonely, but more of an alienated lonely. An “I’m literally the only person in the room with this hair texture and this skin color” lonely. An “I’m representing an entire race of people” lonely. How I am perceived matters.
Growing up, I watched the sitcom “Martin” religiously and admired the role that actor Tisha Campbell-Martin played as Gina, who worked as a top marketing executive. As clever and on point as that show was, what it didn’t portray was that, in real life, black female leaders are often one-of-one ― especially in meetings.
It’s really difficult to articulate how it feels to continually be the “only”in a meeting.
I’ve been a black “white-collar” professional since I graduated college in the mid-2000s. I remember the first day of my first real job. My boss walked me around the office and introduced me to my new team and the other employees. Everyone seemed really nice, but what I noticed after returning to my desk was that I hadn’t met a single minority in a leadership role. I knew I wouldn’t stay there long, and I was right. I was out the door and on to the next opportunity in under a year.
I moved into management early on in my career, and by the age of 24, I had staff reporting to me. I was the youngest middle manager at my company. That role opened me up to a bevy of opportunities, including global travel and board meetings — and that’s when it began. I was the “only.” I was not just the only woman, but 98% of the time, I was the only black woman. You know what I learned from those experiences? I learned that discrimination isn’t usually outright or blatant. In fact, it’s often very subtle.
I’ve had people enter conference rooms where I’m sitting, and when they see me, they say, “Maybe I’m in the wrong room,” as if to suggest that if I’m a part of the meeting, it must not be a leadership meeting.
Once, during a leadership retreat abroad, a chief executive pulled me to the side before the committee discussions began and said, “You know, you don’t need to talk during the retreat. You can just listen. Yeah, actively listen. No need for you to contribute.” Mind you, I was the person responsible for setting the strategic direction of the initiative. I was also the person solely responsible for the company’s recent massive growth. And yet, I thought, you don’t want me to talk?
When we’re the only person of our race at a certain level, we feel accomplished — but we also feel alone. It’s kind of like “yay me,” but at the same time, “why just me?”
Years of being the only black woman in the room made me feel visibly invisible. It didn’t matter that I broke sales and revenue records year after year, and it didn’t matter that my performance evaluations read “outstanding” across the board.
There is an unconscious bias that exists in business culture, whether people want to admit it or not. Companies can have all the diversity and inclusion trainings they want, but that doesn’t change the fact that black women (and men) are continually overlooked and discriminated against.
Companies need to realize that relatability is a real thing. Representation is a real thing. So when we’re the only person of our race at a certain level, we feel accomplished — but we also feel alone. It’s kind of like “yay me,” but at the same time, “why just me?”
People don’t really like to talk about race. But it’s there — hovering, always. I’ve sat in meetings where people dismissed my feedback or ideas as not being valuable or worthwhile, only to have someone of another race repeat the same messages or ideas five minutes later to ahas! and applause.
There’s a reason why black women are turning to entrepreneurship, and it’s not because we’re not qualified for management positions in the corporate world. It’s because we’re not seen.
What I’ve learned over the past 15 years is that mentors are vital. It can be a real challenge to go into a workplace day in and day out when you feel ignored or overlooked. Mentors are an invaluable support system for everyone, but especially for women and minorities. We need people to help us navigate our careers and help guide us as we continue to grow. There is a void of African Americans in leadership, and it can be very demoralizing to watch other people who do less advance quicker than we do.
I met my mentor, who was also a black female executive, at a professional development conference. She had turned an idea into a seven-figure business venture after walking away from corporate America five years prior. I’ll never forget the first thing she told me when we met for coffee.
“You will have to work 10 times harder than your white counterparts for recognition,” she said. “You will often question yourself and your worth. You will not receive the same pay. You will get frequent stares and looks. You will be disrespected, both blatantly and subtly. But never let it make you question yourself. Never. Go after every opportunity that presents itself. It will teach you resilience, and as a black woman, you’ll need that a lot.”
I now know to command my seat at the table. Even if they’re given a seat, women of color still need to command our place. Unfortunately, we have to do so diplomatically because minorities, specifically African Americans, are often viewed as hostile or aggressive when we speak up, whereas people of other races are seen as passionate and committed.
“There’s a reason why black women are turning to entrepreneurship, and it’s not because we’re not qualified for management positions in the corporate world. It’s because we’re not seen,” Keli Hammond writes.
I have also learned to create my own support system. Everyone needs allies they can trust, confide in and connect with on a personal level. Because black women are often unfairly stereotyped, it’s important for us to keep positive and supportive energy in our circles.
There’s no getting around the fact that race is going to be an underlying factor in business, and there are some very real barriers to advancement in traditional workforces for women of color. Thankfully, I discovered this early on, and with the help of my mentors, I learned how to advance despite the unfair challenges and stereotypes I’ve faced. Every morning, I remind myself of the most important lesson I’ve learned throughout my career: Although we may feel like others devalue our contributions, we must never devalue ourselves.
Keli Hammond is the author of “Craved: The Secret Sauce to Building a Highly-Successful, Standout Brand” and the CEO of B Classic Marketing & Communications. Learn more about her at KeliHammond.com.
Last weekend Ashley Williams was in full Black Girl Magic mode when she graduated with her Master’s Degree and Law Degree in the same week from two separate universities, in two separate states. On May 18th she received her Master’s degree in Political Management from George Washington University in Washington, D.C. and on May 20th she received her JD from the University of Pennsylvania. And it wasn’t a dual degree program.
She began her Master’s degree at George Washington University in 2015 while working at the State Department as Special Advisor and Director of Special Projects to the U.S. Ambassador-at-Large for Global Women’s Issues.
“I was really interested in beginning a program that would allow me to build upon my undergraduate degree, love for politics, and allow me to continue working. I knew I needed to grow. The Political Management degree at GW was perfect,“ Williams told Because of Them We Can.
She was able to attend the program online with the option to attend classes in person when her schedule permitted. Not long after starting the program she applied to law school in pursuit of a life long dream.
“That fall I also applied to law school, which had been a part of my plan since high school. Both of my parents are lawyers, and I admired them and wanted to follow in their footsteps.”
Williams says her law school journey wasn’t easy.
“I faced rejections from schools during two separate admissions cycles—once while I was working at the White House and once while I was at the State Department—but I was determined to go.”
She received a favorable letter from the University of Pennsylvania in January of 2016 and started in the Fall of 2016, exactly one year after beginning her master’s program.
“During my first year of school, I stopped my Master’s program so I could focus on law full time. The summer following my first year, I resumed my Master’s program and simultaneously did law and my Master’s until I completed my Master’s in December of 2018—which I did while I was studying abroad in Tokyo.”
Williams was in Tokyo for three months where she was focused on the Japanese Supreme Court. She completed her JD requirements five months later in May 2019.
A lot of people wondered why I continued with my Master’s after starting law school, but both stimulated my mind in different ways. I was incredibly fortunate to be able to do both, but it did require sacrifice and discipline.”
Williams, who attended Georgetown for undergrad, said that she hopes her journey inspires others.
“No matter what, never give up and never feel like you aren’t enough. I hope my story inspires others to keep striving and remember that all of our possibilities are endless.”
There are endless articles and even a book about how often men try to teach women things we already know. Despite being a raft and adventure guide in the outdoor industry for most of my 20s, I often get approached by men half my age trying to teach me how to do things like setting an anchor. It both infuriates and cracks me up that they assume I need to be taught because I’m a woman. Especially when I started climbing before they were even born.
But I’ve recently realized there’s an even more annoying kind of mansplainer. He’s not the “teacher” type, but rather a seemingly curious man who wants to be “taught.” I call him the Faux Student.REAL LIFE. REAL NEWS. REAL VOICES.Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard.Become a founding member
Every woman knows this kind of dude. He’s the mansplainer in disguise. Instead of teaching you something you already know, he wants you to spend your time and emotional labor educating him, often on the finer points of feminism. Only, spoiler alert: These dudes aren’t here to learn jack shit.
I hit my breaking point a couple of months ago when I wrote a super-personal post on Facebook about how I don’t trust male doctors anymore. Well, Faux Student had questions about this. That is, after he pointed out that this is a HUMAN ISSUE (all caps!), not a feminist one. Why do I “have to make everything about sexism!!!!!!!!!!” he asked.
A friend of mine jumped in, posted links to this article to back me up and answered all his patronizing questions. She finally got sick of it and blocked him, but I spent a good 20 minutes tap-dancing around his fragile male ego trying to explain that women in the U.S. die all the time because male doctors don’t listen to us. I even gave a dissertation-level argument backed up with hard facts. But Faux Student wouldn’t drop it. He just didn’t understand, OK?
“Dude, STOP,” I wrote. “I’m not explaining feminism to you.” The empathetic (sorry — codependent) part of me that gives people way too many chances finally said that if he was genuinely interested, I could send him links to articles that explain what I and all the women were talking about on my Facebook post.
The next day, he messaged me a sorry-not-sorry apology. But you know what he didn’t do?
Ask for any of those links.
Not a single one.
Because he doesn’t actually care about this issue. He never did.
Every woman knows this kind of dude. He’s the mansplainer in disguise. Instead of teaching you something you already know, he wants you to spend your time and emotional labor educating him.
I used to be willing to enlighten any man who asked me about feminism. But in recent years, I’ve learned a much healthier approach from being in Facebook writing groups with women of color.
Like clockwork, every week or so, an ignorant white lady will say something insensitive or blatantly racist. A woman of color will call her out, and the white lady will invariably play the “That wasn’t my intent but please teach me” card, which then requires long, thoughtful responses from the WOC. These women do so with more compassion and patience than the lady deserves. But white lady usually tries to shut them down with the same gaslighting techniques men use to shut women down. The lesson usually ends with the white lady crying her fragile white tears and calling the WOC bullies.
“I’m trying to understand!” she’ll say right before swearing she’s not racist. This despite the fact that all white people have racism to unlearn.
Over time, I’ve witnessed that a lot of the women of color who had been doing all this free labor stop responding with comments and instead just link to articles that explain the topic at hand. Some have gotten so fed up that they’ve started to list their PayPal account info in the comments. After all, they’re saving these white women hours by providing resources they could and should have researched their damn selves.
Some women refuse to engage at all and instead just say, “Google it.”
I’ve since taken this wisdom into my life as a feminist, and boy, has it been a game-changer. Because honestly, I’m too exhausted to spend my time educating the Faux Student.
For decades now, I’ve been reading numerous articles online about women’s issues, taking feminism classes, talking about feminism with women and men, protesting sexism on the streets, watching TED Talks, and straight up living it. I recently spent my whole Saturday with 5,000 women protesting sexual assault here in France while my guy friends slept in and enjoyed a leisurely weekend. I rarely meet men who actively educate themselves about feminism, read books or articles by women, or watch our TV shows and movies.
Think about all the things I could do if learning about feminism (and all forms of social injustice) didn’t consume so much of my time! It’s an endless, exhausting but necessary time suck for us. And that’s just the beginning of our firewall!
I rarely meet men who actively educate themselves about feminism, read books or articles by women, or watch our TV shows and movies.
Then there’s all the unpaid labor women do at home, all the efforts we make keeping ourselves safe, the money and time we spend trying to recover from small or big doses of trauma we’ve already experienced. It’s a full-time job just existing as a woman.
In fact, just the other day, a man followed me home from the gym and harassed me the entire way until I stopped at the wrong apartment building and pretended to be going home (more mental energy wasted trying to outsmart the bad guys!). Once I did get home, I was shaking and livid for a good two hours afterward and couldn’t get any work done. He reminded me of all the other men who’ve followed me, sexually assaulted or harassed me, or simply scared the living shit out of me.
See why we’re so tired, guys? And why we don’t have time to educate your asses?
I find it insulting when men who’ve put zero effort into learning about women’s rights, much less fighting for them, ask me to take even more of my time and energy to explain it to them.
These exhausting men have made me realize just how much emotional labor it requires for a marginalized group to educate people outside said group, making me appreciate all the more the many people of color who’ve taken the time and effort to educate me over the years. Like them, I am willing to teach men who are open and respectful enough to have these sometimes hard conversations (I mean, we’re fighting for men too, duh). But I’m too tired, busy, and honestly, have zero fucks left to give those who don’t.
For the Faux Student, I now say “Google it.”
Unless they want to PayPal me. Then I’m totally game.
Apart from finding a way to be financially productive yourself, even if it is through opening an investment portfolio that your husband can give you initial money for, start by letting your husband know that you are concerned about what could happen to you and his dependents if anything happens to him, particularly as you are not gainfully employed and are totally dependent on him financially.
Hello Shade, I am a full-time housewife married to an international businessman. It is his choice that I stay home to tend to the home front, which I’ve come to embrace as my role. The problem is that as an educated wife, I think I’m supposed to know all my husband’s assets and properties, but he doesn’t tell me anything about them. I often feel he thinks I’m useless because I don’t work. Am I being unnecessarily paranoid? – Bisi, Ogun State
***
Dear Bisi,
Thank you for reaching out to me.
I understand that you feel under-appreciated by your husband, despite the fact that at your husband’s request, you have assumed the role of a full-time housewife.
In my opinion, your concerns are justifiable, because as a full-time homemaker who is completely financially dependent on your husband, such thoughts would pervade your mind. Perhaps this mental nudge is what you require to confirm if your husband has an estate plan in place. However, you must tread with caution to avoid being misunderstood.
Apart from finding a way to be financially productive yourself, even if it is through opening an investment portfolio that your husband can give you initial money for, start by letting your husband know that you are concerned about what could happen to you and his dependents if anything happens to him, particularly as you are not gainfully employed and are totally dependent on him financially. I believe this will set the tone for your husband to re-evaluate your current position as a full-time housewife. It would also prompt him to consider the options open to him toward planning his estate, including putting his will in place to determine how his assets will be distributed at the end of his life, and/or setting up a trust to cater for your welfare and that of other dependents.
I hope I have been able to help you out in some way.
So, you think boys don’t need attention? Think again
The Affirmed Boy, is a book by Nigerian writer Queenette Enilama, that could change the way we raise our boys. At a time when the negative effects of social media and peer pressure, are wreaking havoc on the developmental process of the boy child, The Affirmed Boy is a book that gives boys an affirmation that they are enough and do not need to succumb to all the pressure to belong.
They can be positive influencers and immune to negative influence. Each page contains a unique lesson, in the form of an affirmation, that tackles a specific challenge in the life of a growing boy. Following the declaration of the affirmation, there is a supporting biblical scripture and a short but boy-tailored prayer, he would love to say. The affirmation page is followed by a Notes page where the reader can write thoughts and feelings about the lesson learned that day. Each page is colorful, with images to enhance its aesthetic value and make for a pleasurable read. At the end of the book, the affirmed boy would have begun to discover himself and develop self-awareness, self-worth and self-confidence, as well as, a well-rounded and emotionally sound.
The Affirmed Boy is a daily companion developmental book for boys between the ages of 6 and 14 years.
The Affirmed Boy is published by TAF PUBLISHING VENTURES Published: 18/05/2019 Available online at https://paystack.com/pay/affirmationforboys or you can pay into Zenith Bank account 2008632045, then send request, with proof of payment to WhatsApp at the number listed below. Queenette Enilama is a writer, certified Emotional Intelligence Coach and Co-Founder of the “NoBoyLeftBehind” Initiative, with a contagious passion for the boy child. She has written several stories, reviewed on a number of online platforms and is set to launch a series of E-books in the coming months. Her No Boys Left Behind initiative, trains, and grooms young boys and teenagers into excellent young men, with a different and responsible perspective on society. For more information about The Affirmed Boy, or to schedule an interview, with Queenette, please contact her on 09096780595 or email her at qenilama@gmail.com
Rihanna’s luxury clothing line Fenty is the first luxury line helmed by a woman of color at fashion conglomerate Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessy (LVMH). Accordingly, Rihanna took that groundbreaking spirit and infused it into every detail of Fenty’s first collection.
In conversation with Vogue UK, Rihanna spoke about the campaign’s imagery,which draws inspiration from the 1960s Black Is Beautiful movement. In the images, Rihanna takes us to history class, as she juxtaposed her models directly against vintage photographs by Kwame Brathwaite. In the 1950s and 60s, Kwame was a photographer who documented the cultural richness of Harlem’s African-American community. He also organized pageants to celebrate Black beauty; the pageants were so successful that they ran for five years and inspired the term Black is Beautiful.
“When I was coming up with the concept for this release, we were just digging and digging and we came up with these images,” Rihanna told Vogue UK. “They made me feel they were relevant to what we are doing right now,” adding that she received permission for Kwame (who is now 81) to use the images. “It was a really strange and powerful parallel.”
That parallel plays out in the stark campaign images. Using Kwame’s photos of the Grandassa models — a group of pageant models and activists who promoted the Black is Beautiful idea — Rihanna tied together historical depictions of Black women and the Fenty aesthetic. In one image, Nomsa Brathwaite (Kwame’s sister-in-law) wears a headwrap and a long chandelier earring; next to her, Rihanna’s models play together in white power suits, wearing rhyming earrings.
Ultimately, the campaign serves as a necessary reminder that, at one time, Black beauty was not widely promoted or accepted as activists had to fight for visibility and acceptance of African-American features and styling. Even today, beauty diversity is still nowhere close to where it needs to be — though Rihanna, through her makeup and clothing, has been instrumental in encouraging accessibility in the fashion industry.
Still, Rihanna is careful to explain that while her clothes embrace the legacy of black creatives, they aren’t necessarily meant to be political themselves. “Well, I don’t know if it’s political so much as embracing the fact that people should be more aware,” she said. “But definitely, we want people to see the parallels between what was then and what this is now, in a modern way.” And Fenty’s clothes are definitely modern, with their sharp tailoring and monochromatic colors.
Courtesy of FentyCourtesy of FentyCourtesy of Fenty
A California hospital on Wednesday disclosed the birth of the world’s smallest baby ever to survive, weighing a mere 245 grams (8.6 ounces) — the same as a large apple — when she was born.
In this picture received by AFP from Sharp Mary Birch Hospital for Women & Newborns on May 29, 2019, shows a nurse holding baby Saybie, the world’s smallest surviving newborn, on the day she was released from the NICU in San Diego, California – /AFP
The girl, nicknamed Saybie by hospital staff, was born 23 weeks and three days into her mother’s pregnancy at Sharp Mary Birch Hospital for Women and Newborns in San Diego.
The father was told by doctors that he would have about an hour with his daughter before she passed away.
“But that hour turned into two hours which turned into a day, which turned into a week,” the mother said in a video released by the hospital.
Doctors said Saybie was delivered via emergency cesarean section in December after severe pregnancy complications that put her mother’s life at risk.
After nearly five months at the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit, she was discharged home earlier this month weighing a healthy five pounds and sporting a graduation cap.
“She is a miracle, that’s for sure,” said Kim Norby, one of the nurses who cared for Saybie as she fought to survive with a sign that read “tiny but mighty” posted by her crib.
Emma Wiest, another nurse, said Saybie was so tiny at birth that “you could barely see her on the bed.”
At birth, she weighed as much as a child’s juice box and could fit in the palm of the hands of her caretakers.
“I’d heard that we had such a tiny baby and it sounded unbelievable because I mean she’s about half of the weight as a normal 23-weaker,” Wiest said.
Saybie’s ranking as the world’s tiniest baby ever to survive is according to the Tiniest Babies Registry, maintained by the University of Iowa.
The previous record was held by a baby born in Germany in 2015 who weighed seven grams more than Saybie.
“Every life is a miracle — those that defy the odds even more so,” Edward Bell, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Iowa who oversees the Registry, told AFP.
