In self development July 22, 2020 By Women of Rubies

3 Ways To Tell If A Guy Is Just Using You To Boost His Ego

How do you know if a guy is genuinely interested in you or just wants to boost his ego?

There are a few tell-tale indicators that let you know he might be more interested in what you can do for him than actually in getting to know you.

If you’re looking to find lasting love with “The One” you need to know how to tell if a guy likes you, which means also making sure you’re familiar with these crystal clear signals that you’re being used, so you can spot a self-absorbed man before he wastes your time.

Here are five signs that he isn’t looking for love, he’s only looking for an ego boost:

He sends you “Good morning!” and “Goodnight!” texts — and that’s it.

This guy consistently sends the sweetest texts greeting you in the morning and wishing you sweet dreams at night. You think it’s so nice that he’s thinking of you and letting you know it. However, if there isn’t much else to his communication, that’s your clue that he’s just into boosting his ego.

Chances are strong he’s texting a bunch of women twice a day to keep you on the line while feeling really good about himself. Doing this makes him feel like a desirable and popular ladies man with all the women on his daily texting list.

Don’t be one of the many hanging around hoping for more from this fellow. If the texting doesn’t get any deeper after a few days, stop responding or block him. Otherwise, this man is just going to waste your time.

2. He sends you a ton of fun and witty messages! Then nothing. Then MORE! Then nothing.

You connect with a guy online who sends the most engaging texts. Then suddenly you hear nothing. Days later he messages again … then nothing. Communicating is loads of fun, but he remains inconsistent. You’re always happy to hear from him — and sometimes he talks about getting together. Too bad no actual dates materialize.

Don’t be fooled by the engaging “forever texter” who never takes that next step to ask you out on a date.

3. He keeps appearing in—and then disappearing from — your life, making you feel unstable and uncertain.

When you are seeing a guy who is inconsistent and your relationship falls into an on and off pattern, that’s a surefire indication that you’re dating a man who likely wants his ego stroked.

He gets together with you because he feels great in your presence. He feels strong, powerful or masculine when he’s around you. Even if he is attentive and thoughtful, he’s still doing it to boost his own ego. It’s a shame he can’t handle the closeness or has some other emotional availability issue that causes him to pull away.

Let go of the on and off again guy. Be strong and free yourself up to look for a man who is ready for the loving relationship you want.

In self development July 20, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Farida Yahya: Your Mental Health May Be Affecting Your Business

Running a successful business involves being at your best physically, mentally and emotionally. Businesses cannot run effectively if the owners are burnt out.

watched countless guides on how to become a successful startup founder. I have read quite a few myself and imagine my utter shock when the frustration from challenges started weighing heavy. From sleepless nights to anxiety, the way an entrepreneur reacts to failure can sometimes be the real enemy they need to conquer. While it can be tempting to focus all of your time and attention on your business, it’s also important that you take care of yourself.

Depending on the type of business you run, some of the problems you may have include:

Constantly working for long hours to get your business off the ground or meet your business’ demands.
Partaking in business-related activities such as the creation of products, replying business emails and having business calls – all of which blurs the boundaries between your home and work.
Feeling lonely due to the absence of someone to share business ideas or problems with. Or the inability to have someone who understands the demands of being an entrepreneur.
Having multiple roles as well as managing the additional demands of running a business.
Dealing with responsibilities such as family financial issues.

Early Warning Signs

It’s important to be aware of some of the common signs and symptoms that let you know that you may be struggling with your mental health.

Some of the early warning signs include:

Lack of concentration;
Tiredness/Fatigue;
Unnecessary emotional response/ crying;
Easily angry or frustrated;
Inability or difficulty with making decisions;
Avoiding social situations; and
Drinking alcohol as a coping mechanism.

While being an entrepreneur seems exciting – you’re pursuing a passion, being your own boss, making money and working on your schedule; however, the responsibilities that come with the role isn’t easy.

The following are tips to help you enjoy good mental health without compromising your health.

Acknowledge your mental health above everything else

Running a business is a full-time job. Running a successful business involves being at your best physically, mentally and emotionally. Businesses cannot run effectively if the owners are burnt out.

One rule of the thumb is to dedicate an amount of time for you. It could be as simple as reading a book, drawing, making crafts or listening to music. Learn to relax and involve in activities that would make you happier and relieve your stress.

Learn how to ask for help

Many times, people compare asking for help as a show of weakness. For example, letting someone know that you’re unable to manage your workload isn’t a show of weakness.

And as a business owner myself, I know that the last thing you want is for your employees to know that you’re struggling emotionally or feeling overwhelmed. However, the longer you try to cover it up and overcompensate, the worse it will end up. As doubtful as it sounds, asking for help is a show of strength. Acknowledging your limits and taking the right steps to overcome them is an attribute of a strong leader,

Avoid unhealthy comparison

Social media would have us believe everyone is living their best lives; travelling, buying property, running successful businesses. The line between reality and perception is becoming increasingly blurred, and when you’re having a bad day, this can make you feel incredibly bad about yourself

Comparison on social media is unavoidable, and psychological research has shown that this kind of comparison leads to a list of mental health concerns. Thinking that you’re the only person struggling with your workload or not having reached this [often imaginary] level of success can lead to self-doubt, anxiety, and even depression.

Because social media also allows us to network, connect with our peers and customers, and take our businesses to a global level, it’s impossible to disconnect from it altogether. Managing the amount of time you spend on it and the type of things you do while online is crucial to your mental well-being.

Create a balanced, healthy lifestyle

This one may seem obvious, but sleep deprivation, poor diet, and lack of exercise are just as bad for your mental health as physical. Though it may be difficult in the fast-paced startup life, committing to these important daily activities can be the deciding factor in whether your business fails or succeeds.

Force yourself to go to sleep by a certain time every night so that you’re getting the right amount of sleep and also getting your body into a healthy habit.

Make sure to set aside even 30 minutes of time a day to get in some quick cardio or a short one-hour class at the gym. And don’t neglect your diet! It doesn’t take much effort to take care of yourself, and the benefits are quite literally life-saving.

About Farida

Farida Yahya is the Founder of Lumo Naturals, an Abuja-based natural haircare solutions brand that provides a combination of natural products, techniques, artistic styles and education about African hair and the importance of healthy and natural hair to natural hair owners. She is also the founder of The Brief Academy, a learning hub dedicated to developing and supporting female-owned startups to achieving wealth and scalability. Farida is also the author of Redefining Beautiful, a book that discusses the realities of starting a natural hair business. You can connect with Farida Yahya on Instagram via her personal page @thefaridayahya and her business pages @lumonaturals and @thebriefacademy.

In self development July 20, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Nkem DenChukwu: Depression Is Not A Taboo!

It’s interesting that some of our educated African brothers and sisters (African-Americans included) are ignorant of the reality of depression, even when we experience it. We worry more about what our kinsmen, friends, colleagues, and neighbours would say, rather than find ways to help ourselves, our loved ones or that stranger; crying out for help.

Son: I am depressed, Dad.

Dad: God forbid! It is not your portion!

Son: What does that even mean?

Dad: Rebuke it, Son! Depression is not for us. We are Africans. It’s a term oyinbo people use to seek for attention.

Son: I have been feeling depressed for weeks, Dad.

Dad: Biko, don’t let anybody hear you say that nonsense again. Tufiakwa! Abomination!

The next morning, this father found his only child in a pool of his blood, with a blood-soaked suicide note on his bedroom floor. All the signs were clearly there, just like in many cases.

***

Not many people experiencing depression express it or seek help. The question remains: how many people are attentive to these signs? How many people offer help?

There are several triggers for depression. Each trigger depends on an individual’s experiences, lifestyle, and/or thought-process.

There’s no shame in feeling depressed. It is not an abomination or a sin against God or Allah. Depression is real, as real as you can feel your breath under your nose. It is as real as the pain and emptiness it comes with.

Depression is a poison that can numb you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Who can relate? Say I.

You don’t have to have experienced depression to know it is real, or show empathy to someone experiencing it.

Depression literally kills many people on a daily basis. It does not discriminate, just like death. Even children as young as seven feel depressed. Many children and teens have committed suicide because they were depressed. No one is immune to feeling depressed. Many “normal people” have lived it too. They all felt depressed: lost, empty, alone, scared, and hopeless.

We need to educate Africans and families that depression is not a taboo. We need to be open to new information to better ourselves and wellbeing. There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of to say, “I am depressed,” or “I need help.” It’s interesting that some of our educated African brothers and sisters (African-Americans included) are ignorant of the reality of depression, even when we experience it. We worry more about what our kinsmen, friends, colleagues, and neighbours would say, rather than find ways to help ourselves, our loved ones or that stranger; crying out for help.

All the signs are there. They are always there. We just have to pay more attention. When we are the ones experiencing depression, we should find the courage to talk to someone. Bottled emotions are like time bombs that will eventually explode. Rebuking “depression in the name of Jesus” is like rebuking the blood dripping on your face from a cut. You see the blood, you wipe it clean to treat the cut, and then ask God for healing, or you call your doctor for antibiotics. Being ignorant of the fact will simply make the cut/bruise prone to infection.

We need to know the difference between ignorance and foolishness. Being educated doesn’t equate to having common sense.

August Strindberg said, and I agree: “There are poisons that blind you and poisons that open your eyes.”

Depression is poison that can either blind us or open our eyes. It is like death slow in coming, if/when not taken care of.

Love can certainly help cure depression. Agape-kind-of love.

After all is said and done, what we tell ourselves takes root in our minds, therefore, controls our emotions and steps. Easier said than done, right? But, when being strong becomes our only way to survive, we start to see things differently, and we become the best of us … eventually. No doubt!

About Nkem

Nkem DenChukwu is a bonafide creative writer and filmmaker. In 2019, she became Houston Literary Awards – Reader’s Choice Winner. She delved into the arts of filmmaking and creative writing in 2012, and has since then, written 7 inspirational books for children, teens, and young adults. Nkem has produced 14 indie films in Texas. In 2018, she was featured in Forbes (Digital Edition) while five of her creative verses have been featured in Oprah Winfrey Magazine. Nkem was a Huffington Post Contributor. For more details on Nkem DenChukwu’s work, visit www.nkemdenchukwu.com

In Inspiration July 20, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Yewande Jinadu: Don’t Get Scammed! These 5 Tips Will Help You Spot A Fake Job Post

I’ve activated my ‘recruiter super-powers’ and collated some red flags you can look out for to spot a fake job advert, so that you don’t even bother applying.

It’s no news that there is a high rate of unemployment in Nigeria, which has resulted in people looking for creative ways to defraud Nigerians. Companies involved with multi-level marketing like GNLD, Neo-Life, etc. now create ‘job vacancies’ just to bring people together to ask them to pay a fee to join their distribution network.

This is a scam, because it lures people into applying for a role that doesn’t exist. If the intention was clearly stated in the job advert, then it won’t be a scam. Some adverts out there are worse, especially those pushed out by kidnappers, corporate robbers, and fraudulent people. Therefore, young graduates need to be more careful when sending out CVs that contain personal details like ‘home address’.

I’ve activated my ‘recruiter super-powers’ and collated some red flags you can look out for to spot a fake job advert, so that you don’t even bother applying.

No website or online presence
If all the results that come out on Google are random job adverts on job boards with no website where you can read more, it’s likely to be fake. Any serious company will have an online presence like Google My Business, VConnect, or any other verified website – even if they cannot afford a good website. I advise that you search for what others are saying on Nairaland, because as scammers rebrand, someone comes to Nairaland to update others.

No experience required
Some genuine job posts do not require any experience, but when you see a job that offers lots of juicy packages that ideally fit a senior role, and does not require any experience, then it is a sign that they are not genuine. Do your research very well! If they don’t have a functioning website, then how do you expect them to meet up with all that was stated?

Unprofessional E-mail address
A company that can afford a website will most likely use an official email for recruitment. What I mean is that their email address usually ends with ‘@(the name of the company.com (or the domain address)’. So if you see an email address that says recruitment@careerlife.com.ng, their website would most likely be careerlife.com.ng. I know of genuine recruiters that use Gmail to collate CV’s, google them first! See if they have posted adverts with the email and what people have said. Any serious recruiter won’t use funny email addresses like sexyrecruiter15567@yahoo.com.

Your results don’t add up
Sometimes, I see some fishy job adverts and after searching it, the email address provided is not related to what’s on the company’s job site. E.g., if it includes someone’s name attached to the email, check the person out on LinkedIn to see if the person really works there. I see a lot of Shell and Chevron vacancies being shared on Whatsapp. It is important to note that these companies don’t even use email addresses for their vacancies. Even if they do, the email address provided isn’t the same template with what they really use, so that’s a big red flag.

The job description is sloppy
When you see a job advert that barely contains proper information about a role or the job title is entirely different from the job description or there are a lot of grammatical errors, this should deter you from applying. Be very wary of those adverts from big multinationals that are poorly written. Most times, they are not from the recruitment team. Structured companies have a good HR Team with quality checks in place.

In self development July 17, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Why Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala ls The Best candidate To Head World Trade Organization

Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala on Wednesday, July 15, in Geneva stressed the need for the World Trade Organisation (WTO) to elect a credible candidate based on merit for the position of Director-General.

Mrs Okonjo-Iweala, who is one of the eight candidates vying for the position, was interviewed by reporters at a press conference held shortly after her presentation to the WTO General Council.

She stated that the best candidate should be chosen for the position, irrespective of their gender, race, or country of origin.

She said: “Choosing a Director-General for WTO should be on merit. The best person should be chosen to lead an institution that’s having challenges.

“If it happens to be a woman, great. If it happens to be an African it’s also great. It should be based on merit.”

Extolling the qualities which make her well suited for the job, she said: “The WTO needs leadership and I’m someone with a strong managerial capability with the ability to forge consensus and reforms.

“These bundles of qualities in addition to my leadership quality is what I’m bringing to the WTO.”

In self development July 14, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Olabisi Animashuan: Pre-conceived Bias And Housing Discrimination Of Lagos Landlords Towards Single Women.

“I don’t understand why Lagos Landlords have a problem with renting out their apartments to single women” I hear the worry and frustration in my sister’s voice at the other end of the line. The prawn crackers I was munching on became tasteless in my mouth. We’ve been on this conversation for the past twenty minutes. I sigh. I understand her predicament. Our other sister had the same issue while she was apartment hunting. Ever the adventurous one, she had wanted to move out of the house as soon as she got a job after serving the fatherland in Kwara State.

She was initially posted to the far end of Wamba in Nasarawa State, our parents, after a long series of argument, emotional blackmail, and threats had reached a compromise with her; they would agree on a state not too far from home but Ogun, Oyo, and Osun States are out of the options. Fully aware of the efforts it took her to reach a compromise; they had agreed to facilitate her redeployment to Kwara State. After service, she got a great job at a top publishing firm in Lagos and couldn’t wait to leave home; “A girl also needs her privacy” she always says. I recall the number of times she would lament to our parents and whoever cared enough to listen about how unfair society treats women. A single woman can hardly get accommodation in a decent environment without pretending to be engaged or presenting a father figure in her life to testify of responsibility and his willingness to grant her the freedom she desires. Long story short, after much persuasion, dad had gone with her to the agents of some of the apartments she was interested in.

I try persuading my sister to go through the route our other sister eventually took. I mean, if a single woman cannot gain decent accommodation because of the prejudice the society has on singleness and women in general, what else can a girl do? Lagos landlords are of the opinion that women are mostly sponsored by their parents, husbands, or the numerous men in their lives. If things go sour between the ‘small girls’ and their ‘big gods’, the rent will suffer for it. That again is another prejudice, a stereotype that women are not as hardworking and financially stable as their male counterparts. My sister still continues to rant, demanding to know why her decision should be based on her marital status or parental influence. Seeing that I was making no headway as she is already determined, I calmly listen to her rants and let her know all will be well.

After saying our goodbyes, I begin to ponder on what we had just discussed. I have never thought about leaving my parents’ house without leaving for my matrimonial home. I still have no intention to do so, except if my career demands it. Probably because I’m very attached to my parents, being the last child. I recall my brother didn’t have this kind of problem. The landlord had only insisted that the rent be paid when due, the number of occupants shouldn’t be more than three at any point since that was stated clearly in their agreement form and loud parties will not be tolerated. Those rules were fair enough. Any responsible person would easily abide by them.

I can’t help but believe these hideous beliefs and bias stem from the deeply rooted patriarchal system African countries, especially Nigeria are cursed with. Why my financial capabilities would be judged by my gender. A woman by ‘default’ is judged incapable, not because she doesn’t have a job, but because she’s a single WOMAN.

It’s funny how many people would turn a blind eye to discriminating against females wanting to be independent. Others might even validate the act. It is very understanding and acceptable if the basis of rejection is based on the premises of the individual doesn’t have a stable job hence the fear of defaulter in payment of rent or the individual has a track record of recklessness and irresponsibility. I recall reading about an interview with a property owner and landlord, Coleman Nwafor and BBC Africa, Mr. Nwafor had said that the bulk of his tenants are men because they have more than women.

Asides the financial ‘insecurity’ bias, many landlords and property developers, are driven by the belief that women cannot — or should not — live outside their father or husband’s house. Another evidence of how much damage the patriarchal belief system has done to our society.

My sister had earlier shared with me the very unnecessary and invasive questions the landlords of the apartments she had inspected had thrown at her, “Why would you want to leave alone? Don’t you know you’re a woman? Are your parents still alive? What do they think of this act of yours?

Another had said “You look old enough for marriage, why are you still unmarried? One of them had even with all sincerity told her that men do not want a woman who is already ‘settled’ getting an apartment as a single woman would reduce her chances of getting married, no man wants a woman who doesn’t need him, a woman who has it all would find difficult to be submissive to her husband. The society has made marriage the ultimate attainment of a woman and normalised policing women about. There is already established bias, that the need for a single lady to live apart from her parent is to fuel her wayward lifestyle, most definitely to live her life unsupervised. The upper-class single women seem to have it a little easier though they still endure some wagging tongues and snide remarks about their lifestyle.

If we are aware of and irritated about how tribalistic landlords can be when it comes to choosing their tenants, and then we can imagine how most women have it worse, one from discrimination against their tribe and then their gender.

Can you testify to these ridiculous and backward reasoning acts? Please share your experience with us and how you handled it.

Written by: Olabisi Animashuan

In self development July 15, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Money Matters With Nimi: How To Survive While Unemployed

Thousands of young Nigerians are unemployed. After the grandeur of graduation ceremonies, the bachelors and masters degrees, and the troublesome NYSC, nothing turns out as expected. It could be a while before one secures a job. Until it comes, how does one survive?
Here are a few survival tips to keep you going while unemployed:

Calculate Your Income
Do you have any savings? How much do you spend every month on necessities? Divide that total into several months of “income,” that is the amount you need to live on each month. Of course, you don’t know for how long you will be without a job, so create income for about a year.

Create a Budget
When you have a reliable source of income, it is easy to ignore where all your money goes; another pay cheque will be in soon. Knowing what your money is being spent on, is the first step to cutting back on non-essentials without a drastic loss in your quality of life.

Review your Debt
Just because you aren’t earning doesn’t mean you should ignore your obligations. Prioritize what needs to be paid first. Try to pay a little something on each bill. Don’t avoid creditors; it’s the worst thing to do. Approach them and tell them your challenges; they may be prepared to reschedule payments or even write some of it off if you are lucky.

Network, Network, Network!
“Your network is your net-worth.” This is not the time to withdraw from your circles. Your network, including your immediate family, relatives, friends, colleagues, former clients, and business contacts, matter now more than ever. Everyone needs to know that you are in the job market. If you don’t have a profile on LinkedIn, create one and start networking on this powerful platform.Don’t cut off. Continue to socialize. Too much time alone can be isolating and lead to depression. Look for cheaper ways to socialise.

Develop Yourself
Are there some important skills you need in order to improve your prospects? Do you have the skills to get you to where you want to be? Now, don’t rush off to do the first Masters or PhD program you get admission for; I mean practical skills that all companies need such as IT or digital marketing skills. Consider doing it now and you will be better equipped with a skill set for your next job.

Volunteer
Volunteering can have a positive impact on your job search. It may not always lead to paid work, but it certainly does come with benefits. Volunteering will give you a sense of fulfilment. It will also enhance your personal skill set, introduce new knowledge and keep you in contact with people.

Perfect your CV
There is nothing more exasperating for a prospective employer than to have the misfortune of reading a CV full of grammatical and typographical errors. Prepare your CV and proofread it very carefully; there are many good online samples and tips to guide you. Do not pretend to be what you are not; you will be caught out. Your online presence matters; potential employees will look you up. It is so easy to jeopardise your prospects with inappropriate language, messaging or imagery.

Be Prepared
If you are one of the tiny percentage of those who get to secure an interview, you owe it to yourself to be prepared. If you don’t know anything about the company you are interviewing with, it could be embarrassing. Do your research. What value can you add? Look for problems to solve. Prepare questions that you wish to ask. There are literally thousands of people looking for work. What makes you unique?

Be Flexible
Don’t be too fixated on getting your dream job. Be prepared to accept a role that may not necessarily meet your expectations when you consider your qualifications, expertise, or your experience; this will tide you over while you continue the search.
Part-time, temporary, or contract work are ways of getting you employed. Some employers are looking for someone to work for just a few weeks or months; others may have part-time opportunities; such offers may eventually turn to actual long-term contracts or indeed full-time employment. You may also offer any special skills on a consultancy basis, whilst you scout for a more permanent role.
Earning as much as you can now will help you get through this period with fewer financial scars. You will also be gaining new skills and experience and preventing gaps in your CV which employers tend to frown at. But don’t neglect the job search or preparation for some challenging interviews.

Health is Wealth
Stressful life events can overwhelm a person’s ability to cope; this can lead to depression. Particularly if you are stressed or anxious, your health can be badly affected; a healthy diet and exercise is important for a sound mind and body. Use this time to put a proper regimen in place. It will put you in a much better frame of mind.

What Can You Do to Earn Extra Income?
This is the time to search inwards at your skills, talents, those things that you do effortlessly but have never leveraged on or thought of monetizing. Can you teach, can you bake, sew, take photographs, put your car on the road, rent out a room if you have space? Do you find it easy to fix things? Are you a social media expert? Everyone needs someone with tech skills. Many people are trying to bring a small business idea to life; can you assist with writing business plans? What solutions can you provide? People pay for solutions.

Save
Unemployment is one scenario that makes the need for emergency savings, glaring. If you have no savings, make this a priority once you’re back on your feet, immediately start preparing for the next possible emergency. Try to save up three to six months’ worth of expenses in an emergency fund.
Even if it takes you more than six months to find another job, you can often stretch that savings and a part-time job to a year or more. As soon as you can, start saving money again for the next emergency.

Remain Positive
Yes, you have already sent your CV to over 100 companies and interviewed with 22. Many will not even acknowledge your CV; it’s nothing personal. They’ve simply had so many to go through. Dust off the disappointment as quickly as you can and stay focused on the next opportunity. If you are down and dejected, it shows; employers are attracted to upbeat, enthusiastic, positive people.
Unemployment is one of life’s most challenging events, but it can also come with opportunities if you remain calm, proactive, focused and prepared to seize opportunities. This may just be the impetus you need to follow your passion; that dream and bring it to life. Who knows? You may soon be walking through the door of your own business and creating jobs.

About Nimi Akinkugbe
Nimi Akinkugbe has extensive experience in private wealth management. She seeks to empower people regarding their finances and offers frank, practical insights to create a greater awareness and understanding of personal finance. You can reach Nimi via the following: Email; info@moneymatterswithnimi | Website: www.moneymatterswithnimi.com | Twitter: @MMWITHNIMI | Instagram: @MMWITHNIMI | Facebook: MoneyMatterswithNimi

In self development July 15, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Tammy Kayne: How To Maintain Your Wig

Guys, before you run your fingers through her curly or straight tresses, gently ask if she is wearing a wig or she has fixed a temporal hairstyle to avoid any brouhaha😊🤣

Wearing a wig cap is the new norm even among our stars. If you are too busy hustling between work, learning for a degree and managing your home, the best option is to braid your hair and get a wig cap to compliment your stunning look.

It even gets better, hairstylist have wig caps for braids, you don’t have to sit for 4 hours to get a hairdo. Whether you want big tresses or half the size of a straw, you can get it readily available to buy.

However, some women are having difficulties keep the wig caps keeping their wig caps in good condition for future use. When it comes to wig caps, most women wear it for at least a month, switch for another hairstyle, the next one and probably wear the first one in the cycle again.

If you love wig caps as we do, here is how to keep it intact for reuse.

Brushing

Brush the wig thoroughly to remove any dirt or hidden particles. Brushing the wig cap makes it easier to wash

Washing

Treat your wig with care. Pour a trusted shampoo in lukewarm water and gently place the wig in it. Don’t squeeze and rub it. Let it soak, then move the hair clockwise and anticlockwise. Repeat the process twice and transfer to clean water.

Never use hot water to wear your wig because it can hair discolourization and weaken the fibres, and cold water can’t remove all the dirt accumulated in the hair.

Drying.

Pat dry your hair on a clean towel. Any sealed moisture can lead to mould growing on your wig, hence the need to make it completely dry before storing.

Don’t hang, blow dry, or place the wet wig in direct sunlight as this can damage the fibres.

Detangle.

Comb and detangle your wig cap starting from the ends. Starting combing from the ends first, then to the roots with a detangling comb with large teeth to prevent shedding. Apply your desired hair cream or hair oil and dry again with a hand dryer for 20 to 30 minutes.

Storage.

Fold your wig in half from ear to ear or braid the ends into two or four sections to prevent crumpling. You can place a hair net on the folded or braided wig cap to keep it in good shape especially with curled or wavy wigs to keep the style intact.

You can store the wig cap in a clean plastic bag. Pick a dry storage area and out of direct sunlight. Sunlight and heat will the dull the colour of your wig and break down the hair fibres for the strands to fall out.

You can place the wig you use often on a wig stand. If you are not using the wig anytime soon, you can bring it out from the storage and air dry it at least once a week to prevent it from smelling.

In self development July 12, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Yewande Jinadu: Can’t Shake Off Your Fear Of Interviews? This Story Should Help!

As an undergraduate, I was made to believe that if you finish with 2:1 (second-class upper) and above, you’re more likely to get a better job than your peers. During my SIWES (compulsory Industrial Training), I worked in an oil and gas consulting firm where Graduate Trainees for Chevron were sent for a PDMS Training, so you can imagine my determination to ensure I get into Chevron. The first step was to ensure I get a 2:1 so that I will get a fighting chance. Starting with a 2.48 (third class) as my first GPA, I struggled through my 5 years to cross that 3.5 GPA with a thin margin. I was hopeful because, during my NYSC, I zealously read GMAT and GRE books; I was told that most multinational companies used them for their assessment.

I was ‘over-ready’ for any assessment test because I had already imagined myself as a Graduate Trainee in multinationals – wearing pantsuits during the on-boarding and eventually growing in my career.

As an undergraduate, I regularly spoke to a large audience as a fellowship leader, so I didn’t think I was going to struggle with interviews.

My first real interview for a multinational company was in August 2015. It was time to go to the assessment centre and I was ready. I had practiced in front of the mirror and in front of my siblings and parents – what didn’t I do to ensure I got the job? Nothing! The popular phrase that says “Once you have a game plan, confidence comes naturally” was in my head, because I had imagined myself confident and even dreamt of the interview.

I went into the interview room and began to shake. My words were incoherent, everything went wrong! “What’s happening?” I masked myself. Could it have been the seriousness of the panel or could it just have been that unnecessary phobia? I dusted that experience off and my rejection email was a big stab, but I was over it in less than a week.

Another opportunity came up in November 2015, but I had learned all my lessons from the last one. I met another four-man panel and the questions started. After 3 failed attempts to answer all the easy questions I was asked, a man wanted to break the ice and asked me ‘What’s your favorite movie’. My heart raced fast, I began to scratch my head. Yes! My head was blank! I was even clueless about my name at that point. I couldn’t remember anything, I wished the ground would just open up for me to enter. At that point, I felt like a failure. The only thing that managed to creep into my blank brain was ‘Spiderman’. What the…? ‘How could I think of that? For someone who was the hub of movies back in school, this really pained me. I muttered Spiderman and they all laughed and said “No more questions”. I began to leave and I said to myself “I’m sure these people must believe I have a fish brain”. I wanted to cry at the door but I got myself back together.

I think of these moments and smile anytime I am interviewing young graduates who I sometimes perceive may be going through similar situations. Most people think only introverts have this kind of problem but some real extroverts go through this. Interview phobia can happen in an unfamiliar circumstance that usually triggers a natural response. This involves adrenalin being released into the body – creating the effect that may involve being jittery, stammering, blank head, inability to look people in the eyes, etc.

I know thousands of other graduates who may be in this situation; they need to know that they’re not alone! It can be daunting for you to know you are capable of something but unable to show it to people or express yourself. It can lead to depression and the loss of self-worth if not properly handled. However, it is fixable. Yes! Training can help you through it.

It’s mainly about ‘Situation Management’; the process of becoming familiar with the interview situation on your terms. If you can try to build yourself up to a point where you self-manage the interview, you would be able to change the narrative and finally overcome interview phobia.

This was the major factor why I started the Employability Fitness Program so that I can help young graduates overcome interview phobia. You can join us via Instagram Live (@careerlifeng) on Saturday, 18th January 2020 by 12:30pm

I wish you the best in your career journey.

In self development July 12, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Temi Olajide: How Do You Keep Your Children Engaged While You’re Working From Home?

Balancing children and a full-fledged workload is not a walk in the park, especially during this period. It’s okay to occasionally treat yourself now and then to your favorite meal or a movie for your efforts. Most importantly, enjoy the process as you get to spend more time with the people that mean the most to you!

With schools closed around the country and most companies opting for remote work, keeping your kids engaged while you work can be a daunting experience. For many parents, it’s a healthy mix of chaos, family time, stress, fighting, and bargaining with their partner on who will take which shift so the other can get some work done.

Although it won’t be easy in this period, this can also be an amazing time to bond with your kids and get to know them better. Most importantly, go easy on yourself. There’s no doubt this time is impossibly difficult, so doing your best is the best decision for everyone.

Here a few ways to keep your children engaged while you work from home:

Create a schedule

I know you’re probably tired of hearing this but the truth is that kids do best when they have a structure, so creating a daily schedule will make it easier for them to stay focused as well as hopefully provide periods of productivity for you too.

Schedule your work-time to align with the activities you plan for them. You can plan your zoom meeting and calls at the same time with their screen time, that way they will be too engrossed in what they are watching to disturb your meeting.

Also be sure to schedule ‘in time’, in which you are part of their day as well, for example, 12 pm -1 pm can be board games or lunch break with mummy. Your children will have something to look forward to each day and the mental break will be good for you, especially when you are dealing with a stressful situation at work.

Take your lead from the teachers

Most schools have introduced virtual classes as a means to make up for the lost time. You can take a look at your child’s scheduled classes for the week, this will help in knowing when they will be in class and when to schedule other activities to keep them busy while you work.

Create projects

You can create fun age-appropriate projects that will keep your kids engaged and entertained. Go to YouTube to check for age-appropriate DIY videos for your kids. An example can be building a city with cardboard boxes, pillows and blankets, and so on. Toymaking, art, and craft, or even painting projects. The good thing about this is that it not only keeps your kids busy, it helps in stimulating their minds, enhancing their motor skills and creativity.

If you can, plan the night before

Some days, you may just want to go to bed after a long day. That’s normal and perfectly fine. But if you can, try to plan the next day’s itinerary before you sleep. This is very important especially if you have an early morning meeting the next day. It’ll ensure your kids are happy and occupied, and not throwing a tantrum during that video conference with your CEO.

Spend time outside, if you can

If you live in a house with a big garden or backyard, allow your kids to go out and play. Vitamin D is great for our overall health, and going outside even for a few minutes each day gives children the space they need to roam. If your kids aren’t up to the age where they can play without supervision, you can take your laptop outside so you can keep a watchful eye on them.

Write letters to teachers, friends or grandparents

You can keep your kids busy by channeling your son or daughter’s creativity toward letter writing or picture drawing. Let them write a letter to their friends in school or to their teacher or even to their grandparents while you get some work done. Not only will your child learn a lesson in compassion, but your relative will also receive a nice surprise to lift their spirits.

Assign ‘work’ to your kids

For the foreseeable future, when your kids ask you what you’re doing, you’ll likely say “working”. This word doesn’t always make sense to them, so a way to teach them is to assign tasks to them. Give them puzzles to finish, LEGO lands to build, separate the bean seeds from the shaft, arrange the throw pillows in the sitting room. You can set a timer for an hour so they can work and then ask them to prepare a presentation afterward to show off their work.

Dance videos

Most kids can operate tablets and phones from younger ages. Set your child up with some music (that isn’t too loud to disturb your work), show them how to make a video (if they don’t already know how), provide props or dress-up clothes and have them take dance videos (or other silly videos) that they can share with you.

Designate an area for your ‘home office’

It is important to have a designated area (preferably a spare room) that will enable you to organize your files, stay on task, and minimize interruptions. Let your kids also know that this is mummy’s work area and teach them not to come to the work area while you’re working. It is important to follow a schedule even while working so if you work 9 -5, try to keep it at that with short breaks in between to check on the kids.

Have any tips to keep your kids busy while you work from home? Feel free to share.

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