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Struggling With Sleep? Here Are 5 Foods That Would Help You Sleep Well

Feeling energized, refreshed, and clear-headed are just three positive effects of having a good night’s sleep but if you don’t eat the right foods, you might not have that.

Studies have shown that our health can be negatively impacted, from the increased risk of lowered mood. This is why you need to learn what to eat to enhance good sleep. Certain foods and beverages could help you fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly.

1. Almonds

Almonds contain high doses of melatonin [Business Insider USA]Almonds contain high doses of melatonin [Business Insider USA]

Almonds contain high doses of melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate the sleeping and waking cycle. Almonds are also an excellent source of magnesium, providing 19% of your daily needs in only 1 ounce. Consuming adequate amounts of magnesium may help improve sleep quality, especially for those who have insomnia

2. Kiwi

Kiwi is addressed as the ultimate pre-bed snack [Business Insider USA]Kiwi is addressed as the ultimate pre-bed snack [Business Insider USA]

This green fruit is addressed as the ultimate pre-bed snack. The fruit contains many sleep-promoting compounds like vitamins C and E, serotonin and folate, all of which will help you snooze. Eating two kiwis before bed can increase your sleep duration by an hour.

Fish contains vitamins that induces sleep hormones [Business Insider USA]3. Fish

Fish contains vitamins that induces sleep hormones [Business Insider USA]

Most fish-and especially salmon, and tuna boost vitamin B6, which is needed to make melatonin (a sleep-inducing hormone triggered by darkness). Additionally, fatty fish are high in healthy omega-3 fatty acids, specifically EPA and DHA, both of which are known for reducing inflammation. The combination of omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D in fatty fish have the potential to enhance sleep quality, as both have been shown to increase the production of serotonin, a sleep-promoting brain chemical.

4. Bananas

Banana contain compounds that induces sleep [home]Banana contain compounds that induces sleep [home]

Bananas, well-known for being rich in potassium, are also a good source of Vitamin B6, which is needed to make melatonin (a sleep-inducing hormone).

5. Warm milk

Warm milk is a common home remedy for lack of sleep [Shutterstock]Warm milk is a common home remedy for lack of sleep [Shutterstock]

Shutterstock

Warm milk is a common home remedy for lack of sleep. Milk contains four sleep-promoting compounds: tryptophan, calcium, vitamin D, and melatonin. However, the childhood association that many people have between a warm cup of milk and bedtime may be more effective than tryptophan or melatonin in promoting sleep. Just like hot tea, a warm drink of milk can provide the perfect soothing backdrop for a relaxing bedtime routine.

 

Source: Pulse

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4 Steps to Take When Your Ex Refuses to Pay Child Support

For co-parents, the issue of money is often a difficult one to discuss. However, what’s even more difficult is when one parent completely neglects the financial needs of their child leaving the burden on the other parent.

Typically this leads to court and child support orders. The court decides how expenses should be split and how much the non-custodial parent should pay each month to help support their child.

But as many of us have found out, just because you have a child support order doesn’t mean the other parent will pay.

Unpaid child support isn’t something only men do, but it is far more common for men as mothers typically receive primary custody after a divorce or breakup.

Based on a survey in 2011, only 61% of men paid their child support. But the study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family explains that fathers who lack money to make payments try to support their children in other manners.

This may be true for some… But for many others, they shamelessly refuse to pay child support or even play any active role in their child’s life.

In that case, you have to find the proper way to approach them and make sure that they fulfill their responsibilities. As wrong as it is that you have to tell another adult to take care of their responsibilities that’s what the situation has boiled down to.

If you, unfortunately, have this problem with your ex, here are the steps you can take to get them to financially support their child.

1. Try talking to your ex.

This is not an easy thing to do. Especially when your ex is refusing to help you support your child.

This is even more complicated if there was emotional or physical abuse in the relationship.

With these things in mind, having a conversation with your ex about their responsibilities will be without a doubt emotionally strenuous, but it’s the first step you should take.

Let’s face it, court proceedings and lawyers cost money, so trying to talk it out before taking serious legal action is the cheapest route for the both of you.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to your ex for any reason, go with a friend or a family member to give you support. Listen to them and try not to create a hostile environment with accusations and finger pointing before you hear the reasons they aren’t respecting their duties.

They may have lost their job or are facing other financial difficulties.

This doesn’t give them a free pass, but it’s more understandable than “I’m just not going to help financially support our child.”

Having a conversation with them may help you find an agreeable solution for both of you, like paying you in installments or when he becomes financially able to. Whatever the case may be, you will know what your next step is after having a conversation.

2. Have a backup plan to cover the missing child support.

A back up plan  is always a good thing to have in place for anything.

However, when it comes to unpaid child support, it may not be that easy for some.

In most cases, you will have to find an additional job or cut your expenses.

As unfair as this is this is the circumstance for millions of women.

The best way to approach this is by thinking about this possible issue beforehand.

During the divorce or breakup, you should see what are your other options to finance your life if your ex doesn’t pay child support. Also, talk to them even then and try to find some sort of compromise to make it easier.

3. Consult a lawyer about possible options.

Legal consulting isn’t something you should neglect in these situations. Whatever you decide in the end – going to court or not – you should always know your legal rights.

Additionally, going to court will cost you, and you have to know what to expect financially if you choose this option.

Consulting an attorney will give you an idea of what to do next.

If your ex is unemployed or is employed illegally, then you have to know would taking him to court be a good idea for both of you. It all comes down to their willingness to cooperate and make an arrangement with you.

But if they’re uninterested, then, unfortunately, the court may be your only option no matter how hard it seems.

4. Contact your local child support agency.

Government agencies for child support are present in every state and even country. Their job is to collect the money for you if you don’t have the means to finance the case.

Fortunately, they typically do this service for free and apply techniques that may not be available to independent attorneys.

The only problem you may encounter is that they are usually busy and swamped with cases.

So, it may take them a long time to finally address your case, and that means you’ll have to find ways to survive until then.

Before going to them, try to come to an agreement with your ex-partner and see what other options for financial aid you have.

Court proceeding and decision

If you do go to court, know that the decision can affect your ex in several ways.

The payments may be enforced with a court order, they can be held in contempt of court and even serve jail time. You will also need a family law attorney for this in order to plead your case before the judge.

When the proceedings start, you will have to present the evidence to the court of unpaid child support. This means you should collect all the evidence you have to prove your ex is guilty.

The judge can order your ex to pay for your court and attorney expenses, as well.

After this, your ex may start making the payments regularly and come to their senses.

Conclusion

Child support is the responsibility of both parents.

A child shouldn’t go without because one or the other parent neglects them emotionally or financially.

Financial support is one of the things your ex should do without even being asked, along with regular visitation and care for the wellbeing of their children.

You have options and possibilities to resolve this problem with minimum emotional impact on your children and you.

Still, if those don’t work, consider taking serious legal actions and remedies to avoid getting yourself into a hard financial situation.

Source: Blackloveadvice

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3 Ways To Handle Jealous Friends

Jealousy can spell the end of even the strongest of friendships and if you do not believe that there is an issue, you run the risk of losing that friendship. Of course, it’s not easy to acknowledge and tackle a jealous friend but if you value the friendship and want to be able to move past the situation, you simply have no choice.

Jealousy in friendship takes many forms, some subtle, others not so much. Some friends might accuse you of being too proud and rubbing your triumphs in their faces.

Unfortunately, there are people out there, friends or not, who just want to bring you down because your life appears better than theirs. Whether its through snide comments or being dismissive of your accomplishments, there’s always that one person who, not matter the situation, refuses to be happy for us.

People say that you should be flattered when people get jealous of you, but within a friendship, jealousy is like a rot that simply refuses to heal and can completely ruin the bond you share. So, what are the solutions and what can be done to improve the situation if you know that a good friend has something against you?

You might have gotten a fancy new job, lost weight in all the right places, gotten your writing published, or even gotten engaged. Naturally, your first instinct is to share the good news with the people you care about the most, your family and friends. But what do you do when their .s are not what you expected?

This will probably leave you feeling hurt and confused as to why they are acting this way but understand that the problem is not with you, it’s with them. If you want to salvage the friendship then you need to take into account these next 3 steps.

1. Dont ignore it

If you notice a friend acting jealously towards you, do not ignore the situation. Ignoring the situation will only make things worse and it will worsen like a cut that has not been treated and will end up infecting every part of the friendship.

If you leave it and let the unhappiness and jealousy grow, you will only make the division between the two of you larger until it is simply beyond repair.

You may also start feeling resentful towards that person and unconsciously root for them to fail, just like they are doing to you. Jealousy begets jealousy and you may find yourself mirroring their actions ad turning into somebody that you don’t like.

Depending on how close you are to this friend, you need to decide if you should just let it go or confront them. If you want to salvage the relationship or cut it off officially, it is advisable that you confront them, make them aware that you have noticed their behavior and do not want it to continue.

Jealousy can spell the end of even the strongest of friendships and if you do not believe that there is an issue, you run the risk of losing that friendship. Of course, it’s not easy to acknowledge and tackle a jealous friend but if you value the friendship and want to be able to move past the situation, you simply have no choice.

Jealousy in friendship takes many forms, some subtle, others not so much. Some friends might accuse you of being too proud and rubbing your triumphs in their faces.

Unfortunately, there are people out there, friends or not, who just want to bring you down because your life appears better than theirs. Whether its through snide comments or being dismissive of your accomplishments, there’s always that one person who, not matter the situation, refuses to be happy for us.

People say that you should be flattered when people get jealous of you, but within a friendship, jealousy is like a rot that simply refuses to heal and can completely ruin the bond you share. So, what are the solutions and what can be done to improve the situation if you know that a good friend has something against you?

You might have gotten a fancy new job, lost weight in all the right places, gotten your writing published, or even gotten engaged. Naturally, your first instinct is to share the good news with the people you care about the most, your family and friends. But what do you do when their .s are not what you expected?

This will probably leave you feeling hurt and confused as to why they are acting this way but understand that the problem is not with you, it’s with them. If you want to salvage the friendship then you need to take into account these next 3 steps.

1. Dont ignore it

If you notice a friend acting jealously towards you, do not ignore the situation [Credit: Creative Market]

Ignoring the situation will only make things worse and it will worsen like a cut that has not been treated and will end up infecting every part of the friendship. If you leave it and let the unhappiness and jealousy grow, you will only make the division between the two of you larger until it is simply beyond repair.

You may also start feeling resentful towards that person and unconsciously root for them to fail, just like they are doing to you. Jealousy begets jealousy and you may find yourself mirroring their actions ad turning into somebody that you don’t like.

Depending on how close you are to this friend, you need to decide if you should just let it go or confront them. If you want to salvage the relationship or cut it off officially, it is advisable that you confront them, make them aware that you have noticed their behaviour and do not want it to continue.

2. Communicate honestly yet gently

Learn to communicate honestly yet gently with your friend about how you have been feeling. Honest communication is the key to fixing most things including unhealthy behaviour among friends. Take the time to speak to your friend about how they’re acting and how their behaviour is affecting you.

Be honest and gentle and remember that they are holding onto resentment and the only way for them to let it go is for you acknowledge it, understand it and try to help them let go of it.

Their initial instinct will be to deny it altogether but do not let that sway you. Don’t start the conversation with something as blunt as, “I know you are jealous of me”. Instead, open up with, “I have noticed that things have changed between us and that you seem distant.”

Make it clear that something has to change in order for your friendship to move forward positively and let them know how much you value the friendship and want it to work.

3. Try and understand why

Once you have confronted your friend, try and understand why they feel the way they do towards you. Another important thing that you have to do is to understand ‘why’ your friend is acting the way they are. Why are they jealous of you? Why does this person feel this way now? Why does this person always have to turn things into a competition? Why does this person feel the need to watch you fail?

Most of the time, people have their own reasons for feeling jealous.Often, the person sees something in you or another person that makes them feel that they aren’t as good. It could be real or imagined, but the feelings of inadequacy are projected through negative thoughts or actions. Jealousy emerges as a . or solution to those feelings of inadequacy. Instead of dealing with these underlying feelings of inadequacy, the jealousy turns into little digs and insults when they are together.

Understanding the why can lead you to explore the reasons behind those feelings and solve them, together.

Source: Ngere Davies

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Stop Taking Bread And Tea’ –Dr. Olufunmilayo Advices Pregnant Women

A Nigerian doctor identified as Dr Olufunmilayo on twitter has advised pregnant women to stop taking bread and tea. The Doctor whose aim is to help save a life, gave more than one reasons why pregnant women should stay away from bread and tea.

According to the Doctor, taking too much bread, tea & Coffee prevents a pregnant woman’s body from absorbing Iron.

'Stop taking bread and tea' - Nigerian Doctor advices pregnant women, gives reasons

The tweet reads “If you are pregnant Taking a lot of bread and tea may be harmful for you Too much bread and tea together makes it hard for your body to absorb iron. Iron deficiency in pregnancy can cause: •Tiny baby •Premature delivery •Baby dead before/after delivery. RT pls. Save a life”

“Pregnancy on its own causes low blood levels for many women. Some of these women are placed on iron tablets to boost their blood levels. Now tea/coffee are known to make it difficult for the body to absorb iron. And when taken with something like bread; the impact is worse. The advice is usually if you can: •Cut down on too much bread and tea together especially if pregnant and you have low iron or you are on iron tablets. •If you must have tea/coffee/bread, give yourself some hours before/after taking iron tablets. I hope this helps. Thank you.

Source: withinnigeria.com

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4 Essential Stress Relief Tips To Practice Everyday

Occasionally feeling stressed is a common experience you’ll deal with throughout your life. Many areas of your life, ranging from work to domestic life, are potentially stress-inducing for a wide range of reasons. As per Gallup data, 55% of Americans are stressed during the day, making them one of the world’s most stressed-out populations. As such, it is vital to know some useful stress relief tips to help you cope with life’s burdens as they arise. Take a look at these helpful points below.

Do something pleasurable

Several experts agree that one way to effectively de-stress is to engage in simple, everyday activities that please you. Stress is often cumulative, building up from multiple sources in your life. If left unattended, this cumulative stress can eventually overwhelm you both physically and mentally. Engaging in occasional acts of pleasure interrupts this stress accumulation by inhibiting your brain’s anxiety responses, preventing it from reaching overwhelming limits and making it easier for you to cope.

Consequently, try to engage in simple acts of pleasure to give you breaks from your stressful routine. Taking a warm bath, spending time on a favorite hobby, occasionally treating yourself to some “comfort food, etc., are significant steps you can take towards stress relief. Additionally, many experts recommend occasional vaping for stress relief because it helps you remain relaxed and happy. Therefore, feel free to order some Delta 8 THC carts for your vape pen to help you stay calm and happy despite your life’s many stressors.

Go outside more often

A Science Direct study proves that spending quality time outdoors benefits your mental health greatly by alleviating feelings of pressure and mental stress. Additionally, other research from an emerging scientific field called ecotherapy shows that spending time in nature can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Therefore, a simple and inexpensive stress relief tactic you can use is to spend more time in nature rather than being cooped up indoors all the time.

Indoor living, whether in the home or office, is full of stress inducers. Being outdoors substitutes these routine high-pressure environments with calmer surroundings that have an instant mood-boosting and recharging effect. Spending time outdoors can also help you gain a crucial perspective on life because you see a bigger picture of the world that transcends mere domestic and work life. So, integrate outdoor activities like biking, hiking, taking long walks, and camping into your routine to escape your usual stressors and boost your mental health.

Have a good laugh

Laughter, they say, is the best medicine. Indeed, several health experts and researchers agree that this saying’s authenticity has solid scientific backing. According to science, laughter stimulates your organs because you take in more oxygen anytime you laugh, which is good for your muscles, lungs, and heart. Stress typically causes tension in parts of your body, and the spasms of laughter unwind these tense areas by making them more relaxed. A good laugh can reportedly relieve your body’s physical tension for up to 45 minutes!

Laughter releases endorphins that give you the “feel-good factor,” counteracting the harmful effects of cortisol (stress hormone) and reducing your blood pressure as a result. Laughter also distracts you from worrying thoughts, improves your mood and even your immune system. Therefore, sneak in episodes of some widely acclaimed sitcoms like Modern Family and The Office or revisit some Dave Chappelle classics to have a good laugh that is sure to de-stress you.

Quit multitasking

Although multitasking seems like a more efficient way of getting things done, several experts advise that this could be a deadly stress inducer. Science explains that your brain can ideally focus on one task at a time, so juggling more than one task drains your brain beyond its natural capabilities. Your brain copes with these increased demands by pumping more adrenaline and other stress hormones that give you an energy boost. A steady supply of these stress hormones over time strains your physical and mental health, causing conditions like depression, heart disease, back pain, etc.

Aside from experiencing physical and mental health struggles when you multitask, you are also counterproductive; dividing your efforts and attention between tasks results in limited input for each of the tasks. Consequently, you may take more time to complete tasks while churning out substandard output. Therefore, try to cut out multitasking in your daily routine to reduce stress and increase your productivity.

Try the 4 A’s

Multiple experts recommend practicing the 4As of stress relief as a potent way to de-stress in your professional and private life. The 4A’s are avoiding, altering, adapting to, and accepting situations that cause stress in your life. Avoiding stressful situations may help to eliminate the stress sources that surround you. For example, by learning to say no to proposals that are more than you can handle, you avoid potential stressors. Avoidance also means limiting the amount of time or ending relationships with people who consistently stress you to control your mental health better.

Taking control of your environment is also an effective way to relieve stress. For example, if going to the market is a stressor, consider doing your grocery shopping online. Effectively altering situations can also be useful in reducing stress and anxiety. Communicate feelings that stress you instead of bottling them up because bottled emotions cause resentment build-up, facilitating a spike in your stress levels. Finding the right work-life balance is also key to altering situations, so keep this in mind to relieve stress.

Adapting to conditions is the third “A” you should try to de-stress, mainly because there are situations you can’t change. Therefore, you can reframe problems to cope with difficulties better instead of allowing them to stress you out. For example, instead of fuming about being stuck in traffic, see it as an opportunity to enjoy some alone time or listen to your favorite podcasts. Finally, accepting situations you can’t change like other people’s behavior is also an effective stress reliever.

 

Source: BauceMag

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Yewande Jinadu: Don’t Get Scammed! These 5 Tips Will Help You Spot A Fake Job Post

I’ve activated my ‘recruiter super-powers’ and collated some red flags you can look out for to spot a fake job advert, so that you don’t even bother applying.It’s no news that there is a high rate of unemployment in Nigeria, which has resulted in people looking for creative ways to defraud Nigerians. Companies involved with multi-level marketing like GNLD, Neo-Life, etc. now create ‘job vacancies’ just to bring people together to ask them to pay a fee to join their distribution network.

This is a scam, because it lures people into applying for a role that doesn’t exist. If the intention was clearly stated in the job advert, then it won’t be a scam. Some adverts out there are worse, especially those pushed out by kidnappers, corporate robbers, and fraudulent people. Therefore, young graduates need to be more careful when sending out CVs that contain personal details like ‘home address’.

I’ve activated my ‘recruiter super-powers’ and collated some red flags you can look out for to spot a fake job advert, so that you don’t even bother applying.

No website or online presence
If all the results that come out on Google are random job adverts on job boards with no website where you can read more, it’s likely to be fake. Any serious company will have an online presence like Google My Business, VConnect, or any other verified website – even if they cannot afford a good website. I advise that you search for what others are saying on Nairaland, because as scammers rebrand, someone comes to Nairaland to update others.

No experience required
Some genuine job posts do not require any experience, but when you see a job that offers lots of juicy packages that ideally fit a senior role, and does not require any experience, then it is a sign that they are not genuine. Do your research very well! If they don’t have a functioning website, then how do you expect them to meet up with all that was stated?

Unprofessional E-mail address
A company that can afford a website will most likely use an official email for recruitment. What I mean is that their email address usually ends with ‘@(the name of the company.com (or the domain address)’. So if you see an email address that says recruitment@careerlife.com.ng, their website would most likely be careerlife.com.ng. I know of genuine recruiters that use Gmail to collate CV’s, google them first! See if they have posted adverts with the email and what people have said. Any serious recruiter won’t use funny email addresses like sexyrecruiter15567@yahoo.com.

Your results don’t add up
Sometimes, I see some fishy job adverts and after searching it, the email address provided is not related to what’s on the company’s job site. E.g., if it includes someone’s name attached to the email, check the person out on LinkedIn to see if the person really works there. I see a lot of Shell and Chevron vacancies being shared on Whatsapp. It is important to note that these companies don’t even use email addresses for their vacancies. Even if they do, the email address provided isn’t the same template with what they really use, so that’s a big red flag.

The job description is sloppy
When you see a job advert that barely contains proper information about a role or the job title is entirely different from the job description or there are a lot of grammatical errors, this should deter you from applying. Be very wary of those adverts from big multinationals that are poorly written. Most times, they are not from the recruitment team. Structured companies have a good HR Team with quality checks in place.

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Should You Really Learn Something New In 2021

It is that time of the year where so many things are flying around, especially as it touches the new year that is less than three weeks from now. 

While it is good to make plans ahead for the new year, it is also important to ask yourself one important question:

“Should I really learn something new in 2021?”

Take a pause and ask yourself and try to answer it before you continue reading.

It is necessary to be intentional about what you want to learn and with whom you want to learn the something new.
Beyond learning something new, it is great to be intentional about spending time asking yourself the thing you are exactly curious about. What does your soul need? What would be of great benefit to your mind? Body? How would it improve your overall wellness and even your finances?

Reflect on what you want to learn and don’t just set out on learning something new just because you think you have to be in on the newest thing. Don’t set out on something new because you need something to fill a void or keep you “busy”.

The times you set out to learn something new just because, you can tell that you weren’t committed overall, you felt so unsatisfied and you ran off to yet another new thing just to satisfy your persistent and insatiable quest for the “answer”.

Now is the time to sit back and pay attention to your desires and where it leads. Trust what beckons you to learn something new and to be more realistic about what you have time to take in.

Here are the prompts you can use to focus your learning to what really matters:

1. What do I want to learn if time and money were no object?

Consider anything and everything. For the next month, the next six months, the next year, the next five years.

2. What’s my motivation in wanting to learn _____ (insert what you want to learn)?

This question helps will help you ferret out if your motivation is related to fears of not being enough or getting THE ANSWER.

NB: “because it would be fun” is a great answer.

3. How might I grow by learning __________?

By learning about programming, you might grow and develop your problem solving skills. By learning about dress making, you might learn how to enjoy the process and journey of a thing even as you look forward to its outcome.

4. How could I learn this for free? Who could I ask for help?

There is so much great information in books, on the Internet, in your friends’ and colleagues’ brains, and already on your hard drive – all those programs and classes you’ve already bought!
All those bookmarks you spent 2020 saving and you’ve never gone back to reading, all those tabs you have opened in your browser.

If cobbling together your learning feels too hard, stop and ask yourself if you really want to learn this or if you just want to buy something that will make you feel like you learned it? Then go back and consider your motivation.

5. How will I measure my progress? What will be enough?

This question addresses the hungry ghost feeling of always wanting more, more, more, or signing up to learn something so you will finally be ready to do what you want. This question helps you get more clear on what exactly you want to learn. Maybe all you really want to learn is how to do this itsy-bitsy budgeting thing that you can learn from your friend who is an accountant rather than signing up for a two-year course in financial management.

6. Do I have time for this learning?

You may deeply desire to take your fitness seriously or get a Ph.D. in data visualization, but if there isn’t enough time, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and waste.

7. Am I using learning as an excuse to wait to take action on a desire?

Learning can become a way fear convinces you to wait until you know a little bit more, have another certification or degree, or feel a little more confident, and then you can do what you want to do.

If that is why you want to learn, I beg you to first:

  • Use some of your materials and make a new dress. Practice that tailoring knowledge you already have.
  • Teach your subject to a group of friends in your living room.
  • Give a presentation at work on your subject.

There are a million ways in every field to create and share your ideas. Do that before you learn something new. Please!

And finally,

8. What learning would give you true pleasure?

Too often we sign on to learn things we think we should learn to prove ourselves to someone else, or because we are still pursuing a goal that we no longer care about. Why don’t we skip that in 2021?

Here’s to learning and growing until our very last breath.

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Damilola Ogunrinde: Sex, Condoms and Nigerian Men

A few weeks ago, I asked Tamara of the Yellow Wall what her thoughts were on sex. She told me that one of her deep concerns for young Nigerian women was that a lot of men hate using condoms.

It is a well-known fact that men often refuse to use condoms in casual, polygamous, or long-term relationships. So when I had a discussion with Dr. Pepple of Pepple’s Hub on another episode of Taboo Doctor, I asked him why men hate condoms.​ His answer was simple: it doesn’t feel the same. He, however, encouraged men to use condoms for the following reasons.

Sustained sexual pleasure

Due to the nature of premature ejaculation, condoms can prolong the time it takes before climax is reached, thereby leading to a more satisfying sexual experience and a happier partner. It will also give a whole new meaning to ‘no glove no love.’

Do not wait until you have STI symptoms to get tested

Symptoms of sexually transmitted infections for men include burning, pain, ulcers, and itching, however, waiting until symptoms begin to show may be too late especially if one is sexually active with multiple partners. Dr. Pepple encouraged young men to not only have condoms handy but also to make it a commonplace practice to seek out health screening and ensure they know what their status is for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and even syphilis. Read more about STIs.

Religion vs Sensuality

During our conversation, Dr. Pepple recalled an incident in his final year of medical school when a professor of gynaecology left a young lady with more questions than answers after she had come to him seeking advice regarding anal intercourse. Upon her exit, the professor had informed him that he believed evil spirits possessed her. Our culture and religion have developed social constructs that interfere with how we experience sex in relationships. As a result, we are less likely to have open and honest conversations about our sexual concerns and difficulties.

Fear of the unknown

Because we live in a society that is judgemental and almost hypocritical about sexual issues, many men are less likely to seek out help, even from qualified medical professionals. Many end up keeping it to themselves when they have symptoms and such delays could lead to infections which could, in turn, lead to pelvic inflammatory disease and infertility.

Getting an STI screen in a long-term relationship

A few years ago, I asked you if you trusted your partner’s partners and highlighted why screening was necessary. If you have any concerns, doubts or worries, get screened and talk to your partner about it. Your health matters and it is your responsibility to seek out the help that you need.

The conversation with Dr. Pepple was insightful and revelatory, and it exposed the concerns which men often have but are less likely to discuss due to the rules of engagement that society has constructed.

What do you think? As a man, do you feel more likely to seek out medical attention to assess your sexual health? As a woman, are you tired of cajoling your man to see a doctor?

Men, what do you think about the fear of vasectomy, is it a valid concern? Keep your eyes peeled for the vasectomy episode which comes out in two weeks. Make sure you subscribe so you do not miss out when it drops.

Source: Bellanaija

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#MondayMotivation -Do Something You Love No Matter What

Mondays are always an interesting day to write about. I have previously touched on the Monday Blues. Those of us who have to get going and get it done at work. It is difficult, but our hard work is what makes America great. Keep it up and keep going.

If you are reading this, you made it to another beginning of the week. The reset button has been pressed. You have your coffee, energy drink, juice, tea, or if you’re like me, just a glass of water. You log onto to read a blog and find an article with the title of Monday Motivation.

I am a believer in living your dreams. I was not always like that, but I am now. I learned that you need to at least try to do something that you enjoy doing. If you try and fail, well, at least you tried. If you succeed and are able to make money doing what you love, then you will always be happy in my experience.

We all know that it does not always happen that way, does it? Life can be tough and unmerciful. As you work at it, you might find that doing what you love can be very difficult.

Sometimes, you try, but it just does not work out no matter what you do, who you know, or where you study. You do not get the break you need and you end up stuck in a job that seems completely mindless. Maybe not even mindless, but it could seem like something you do not want to do at all.

Where does that lead you? You get stuck sweeping floors, in a windowless cubicle, a basement, or working up one too many beads of sweat. Hey, if you dreamed of any of those things, that is great. Those are just examples.

Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that it is no fun when you do not love what you do, especially if you have at one time you did.

It can feel like every day is the same thing over and over again. The annoying coworker, the harsh boss, the too friendly receptionist, and of course the HR director who thinks they are a prison warden. You see and hear all of these things and at times you call in sick just to get away. Believe me, I have done it before.

As each minute, hour, day, week, month, year, and for some, decade pass by, you feel like there is no end in sight. You just want to keep on keeping on, but you also want to pull your hair out when it seems like everything is going wrong. Trust me, things will go wrong. Sad, but it’s true.

Am I striking a nerve with anyone?

I bet you are starting to wonder where the motivation is? Do not worry, that is up next.

I will give you some advice: find something you love and just do it. It sounds so simple that it is almost cliché.

 

You might be wondering, “Wait, what happened to all of that “life is tough” talk?” It is true, but what I am talking about is during your “me time.” If you do not have any, make some. You need it.

During this time, do not just sit around and watch TV or do nothing on the computer, do something you love.

If you are an artisan: write, make music, sculpt, sew, draw, paint, or whatever. If you are a cook: try out new recipes as often as you can. If you are into computers: program, invent games, or create an app. If you are into sports: join a gym, ride a bike, learn to skate, learn karate, or take up shooting. If like to read: try a new genre, subscribe to a magazine, or read a long old fashioned novel like War and Peace. Of course, all of these suggestions are just examples. There is no shortage of fun things to love or to learn to love.

Whatever it is, you need that time to yourself to recharge and rejuvenate. I honestly think that more people are unhappy in their work because they do not take that special time for them. It is something that is so important.

I honestly hope that this did motivate you. If you find yourself in a job that is not your first choice, do something you love no matter what.

By : Jacob Airey 

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‘Money Doesn’t Always Bring Happiness’ – Lizzo

For some, money and fame may seem like the answer to all of life’s problems, but many successful public figures would say differently. In a recent viral video, singer and rapper Lizzo spoke about how obtaining more money won’t solve all of your problems and the heavy burden that comes with fame.

“You can be the coolest, most richest person ever and it doesn’t buy you f*cking happiness. Money doesn’t buy you happiness,” she says in the video posted on her TikTok. The musician starts to get more emotional as she says how it still takes personal development and that fame doesn’t make it easier.

“Fame only puts a magnifying glass on the sh*t that you already have. And if that sh*t is fucked up, you’re just going to have even more magnified f*cked up sh*t in situations where it doesn’t even seem valid or like you’re even supposed to feel that way so it f*cks you up even more because you feel so unf*ucking grateful,” she continued, encouraging listeners to do that “inner work” to progress further in life.

“Anyone that has internal issues or have any type of self problems that they need to work out, work [it] out now because money, fame, or success, or even getting older doesn’t really fix that sh*t,” she said.

“You need to just like do it. Do the inner work because, no matter where you are, it’s going to haunt you like a f*ucking ghost. And I’m working on it, too, but today is just not a good day. I just want everybody to know that it’s OK to not have a good day even when it seems like you should.”

Source: Blackenterprise.com

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