self development - Women of Rubies

In self development June 9, 2020 By Editor

5 Things To Consider Before Jumping Into A Business Venture

Many entrepreneurs in Nigeria and around the globe entirely sometimes have fear or anxiety when they want to invest in any small business opportunity. Some people may be afraid, if they are risking their money in a business that wouldn’t be worthwhile, or unsuccessful .

If I am in their shoes I’d probably feel the same way. It is the hardest decision every aspiring entrepreneurs would want to take. However, if you want to invest in any business, think about the type of product you are selling, whom your potential customers are, evaluate the market and analyse the business structure.

Here are some few things you need to know or do before jumping into any new business of your choice:

Time management
The first decision when starting up a small business is to assess yourself and know how much time you need – at the beginning when you are setting up your business, or on a day to day basis… to make your business a successful one.
If you are the type that leads a busy life and you are not prepared to sacrifice your other commitments, then consider investing in any other existing small businesses, possibly owned by your family members and friends. Remember, you have to be careful with what you invest your money in. It doesn’t mean you are in charge of the business, but you can get your own small percentage from the business sales – based on the agreement you had with your new business partner.

Have a business plan
As an entrepreneur who is on the journey to start up a business, you need a perfect business plan. It allows you to think what you are doing and where you are going. Having a business plan also stands to provide clarity and purpose on how to run your business organization. No matter how large or small it is, you wouldn’t just want to build a house without a foundation.
Writing a business plan also gives you the blueprint for your business’ success. Here are some reasons why you need a business plan.

Evaluation of the intending market (who the customers are and what they want)
It keeps you focused
It enhances your business management and effectiveness
It creates new doors for unseen business opportunity
It helps you to monitor your business
Helps you to know how to fund on your small business
It helps to support business growth

Product or services must be high in demand
With every business idea that comes your way, there must be a need for the product/service among your potential customers. You don’t just jump into any business opportunity without evaluating the market. Know what the problem is, and the possible solution you can give, to meet you ideal customer’s need.

Let passion be your drive
Study the lives of well known and successful entrepreneurs; they all have one thing in common – passion. They love what they, do and this has made them become experts in their niche.

Let’s take an example of one of the popular fast food in the world KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) founded by Colonel Harland Sanders. This influential entrepreneur and innovator carved out a niche for himself in the fast food industry, because he knows what he loves to do best, and was very good at it. He went door to door selling his fried chicken to his neighbours and along his restaurant. The KFC that you know today has grown to be one of the successful fast food around the globe.

This is the first law of business success: Choose a specific business of your strength and stick to it. Cosmos Maduka and Ade Ojo focus on automobiles

Be patient
With any business venture, you must exercise enough patience, in order to see your start up capital. Some business experts say you have to wait for 3 to 5 years to regain your capital, but there is no guarantee. The first and foremost premise of success in business is patience.

Source: Bellanaija

In self development June 9, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Names Of Convicted Sex Offenders Now On NAPTIP’s Register (See Full List)

Remember how a petition was launched in March, urging the Nigerian government to implement a sex offenders registry (i.e rape, paedophilia, sexual harassment and assault)?

Well, the National Agency for the Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP) has now published names and photographs of some convicted sex offenders on the Nigeria Sex Offender Register.

The DG of NAPTIP, Dame Julie Okah-Donli, shared a list over the weekend via Twitter. She said the agency is determined to start naming and shaming all sex offenders, and more names of sex offenders would be published once they are convicted.

In self development June 9, 2020 By Editor

Stephanie Linus: 3 Reasons Why You Should Love Yourself Everyday

Star actress Stephanie Linus shares three reasons why everyone should love themselves every day on her website recently and we absolutely agree with her.

She says:

Whether or not you are capable of giving and receiving love starts with how much you have come to love yourself. Loving yourself should not be mistaken for narcissism or selfishness. It is about accepting and being comfortable with yourself, and above all embracing your uniqueness by not wishing you were someone else.

A popular old saying goes “You cannot love others if you do not love yourself.” This is a truth that should not be despised; you cannot give what you have not felt or experienced for yourself. Love starts with “Me”. It flows from within and only flourishes when is coming from a place of security and consistency.

Here are three reasons why you should be head over heels in love with “You”:

You deserve to be loved: If you do not love yourself for who you are, you would find it very easy to believe that you do not deserve to be loved. If you are in a relationship, you begin to think everything that goes wrong is your fault and then you justify your partner if he/she is abusing you emotionally or physically. Loving yourself means you realizing that you deserve everything good – including someone who would love and respect you for who you are.
When you love who you are, you accept who you are: Loving yourself is knowing yourself perfectly well. It is about being truthful about your positive and negative sides and choosing to focus on the positive side. This is not an excuse to stop improving yourself, but instead accepting your unique traits rather than comparing yourself to others.
You are Confident and Live a Happy Life: When you love yourself, you are more confident about your body, your choices, your job and everything you can think about. It also means you live a life free of worries and endless comparisons with other people because you do not feel like you are missing out on a particular quality of life.

SL Fabz, the best approach to life is loving and leading every step of the way, and it all starts from the inside.

xoxo SL

Credit: StephanieDaily.com

In self development June 9, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Octavia Spencer Donates Breathing Monitors To Medical Facilities In Alabama And New York

Oscar winning actress Octavia Spencer recently announced a donation of breathing monitors to nursing and medical facilities in Alabama and New York fighting the coronavirus pandemic.

Spencer partnered with Mikucare, a company that specializes in baby monitors, to provide their state of the art monitors to medical facilities. The monitors track everything from breathing levels to sleep patterns, equipped with two-way talk and video capabilities that allow medical staff to communicate with patients without even being in the room.

“I, like many of you, have felt helpless in knowing how to help during this time. Seeing what is happening in the communities that I love, I have teamed up with @Mikucare to donate monitors to nursing and medical facilities in Alabama and New York to provide much needed relief to nurses as they navigate care for COVID-19 patients,” Spencer wrote on Instagram.

In self development June 9, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Emeka Nobis: Dear Men,Let’s Talk About Rape

Rape on my mind!

I slept with thoughts of the act of rape on my mind and woke this morning with the thoughts too.
I’ve had interactions with ladies who have been raped, but this week I’ve had to interact with three that are dear to my heart.

In dealing with them, because of my training now and my perceptible powers, I sensed clouds around them. You know how you sense something is amiss, but somehow you can’t place a finger on it.
How did I sense?

I have come to know when a hug is given halfheartedly, a hurried act to extend a warm hand, but just short enough to allow for that detachment within that creates a shell of retreat.

When I was able to ‘pierce’ through the wall to get them to a place of divulgence, my heart was torn.
I’ll spare you the details. Personally, I don’t understand (perhaps, never will) how a man finds pleasure in forceful, unconsenting sex. It’s because for me, I love to fuse with my woman during sex. It’s not just sex, it’s the motions, the art and science of the rhythms called lovemaking.

While I may not exhaustively list all the reasons men rape women – ego massage, peer pressure, rejection and many others – this is a call to my dear men (and sons in the making) concerning our women.
Beyond the physical, rape does a lot of damage to the emotional stability of a woman. It leaves a gulf too difficult to cover in many years. The spillover of some of these effects are seen in marriage.
A lady recovering from effects of rape may shrink back in embarrassment when you touch her hand. She may reject all your well-intentioned requests to take her to lunch. She may not consider leaders in whatever capacity as worthy of being listened to.

There are so many. The end result can be cracked marriages when the spouse can’t just understand the frigidity during sex or withdrawal from the public or inability to deeply communicate.
My dear men, we have work on our hands to do.

It scares me when I walk the streets and see young boys and men who are derelicts, desiring love and care, but left to fend for themselves though ferocious means at the car parks and dark street corners.
Such men may never consider the dignity of a woman worth preserving or elevating. It’s truly worrisome. I wish I can have all the money in the world to remove them from the streets, reform their minds and instil progressive codes into their subconscious.

My dear men, I say it again : We have work!
Yes, a lot has been said about protecting the women. If you truly dissect it, the women live all their lives with this fear of men and still end up marrying men. It’s a dangerous thing to merge untrained men with trained women within the walls of marriage.

When my friend, Queenette Itsemhe Enilama, who is working so hard to raise legendary men of honour, told me the depth of the depravity of this dimension, I shivered. She’s someone whose heart yearns for raising gallant men.

It’s a danger because the male species aren’t being looked at because all the tablets of precautions and advice are thrown at women to gobble up. We end up raising clueless men.
Dear men, we have work!

Let’s start from our families. It starts with me teaching my son Best not how to be a man in masculine terms, but about the dignity of humanity and the respect for all – male and female alike.

It starts with our dismantling the patriarchal system that tends to mash women underneath and quash their voices in the comity of local communities.

It starts with us expunging religious dogmas and teachings that alienate women from pulpits and keep them in perpetual servitude to the whims and caprices of “ordained men.”

It starts by destroying the clamour for silence when rape is reported. For it’s by maintaining silence that we give power to the offenders, quash the honour of the victims, and crown rape with adorable vestments.

Can we? Yes, we can.

You can start by doing so today after reading this post!

Start by knowing that humanity is in all of us and we are bound by one thing – the red blood that flows in our veins irrespective of colour, creed, religion and political affiliations.

Start by letting a friend read this and by tagging your friends so that together we can create a narrative that can help humanity.

I love you!
Curled from his Facebook page.

***Emeka is also an Ambassador of Walk Against Rape Nigeria***

In self development June 9, 2020 By Editor

SIJU YUSUF : NO TO RAPE

‘I like you’ He said as he pressed his lips against hers so swiftly as if to meet a timeline.

The slap that followed the unsolicited ‘lip pressing’ was even swifter.

‘How dare you?’ She asked in a tone so lethal, one would think the soft spoken naive girl had just been possessed by the forces of darkness.

Her eyes narrowed with disgust as she clenched her fist tightly in a bid to restrain herself from further physical expression.

She would never have thought she was capable of defending herself with an assault so publicly.

How could she have known he would harass her this way?

She’s just a fresher at the university and her friends brother was supposed to help her settle in while he concludes his extra year.

She has just been reduced to her body or was it her lips? She has been defiled. Violated. Molested.

Isn’t this rape? Only without penetration?

Oh God, why her?

Why anyone? What did she do wrong?

She has been scarred. That girl too. Oh the boy. And the other one. On and on.

Rape victims, they are scarred. Emotionally, physically.

**********************************

You do not pray to be violated. How can anyone make light of such an occurrence. An evil act that is forever etched in the memory of the victims.

Forever.

Silence doesn’t mean consent! What is happening to morals and values? We deliberately flushed them down the drain?

Heck!

Any non-consensual sexual acts or actions against a person either by physical force, coercion or abuse of authority is violation of rights and a clearly defined case of rape.

For the sake of emphasis, a person who is incapable of giving valid consent due to unconsciousness, age, intellectual disability and is engaged in the act, is being raped!

A person who therefore knowingly makes light of these actions is an enabler who aids and abets and whose punishment should be as severe as the perpetrators. Or what other intents does an enabler have?

Many organizations are working tirelessly to reduce the statistics on rape reporting which as at today is a grossly dark figure of 91.6%. Actions of enablers, such as; stigmatizing victims, making jokes out of the act, silencing or encouraging victims to remain silent are reasons why the efforts of these organizations are perceptibly futile.

Individuals are joining walks to stop rape yet some other persons are belittling their efforts, perhaps, more interested in making it a parody.

Rape is not a joke!

Victims should not be stigmatized!

Victims should not be mocked!

Enabling is as evil as perpetrating!

#saynotorape

In self development June 8, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Remi Kyne: 5 Lies You Should Stop Telling Today

Little lies like “I’m on my way” are pretty harmless. But there are other little lies that mean big business in your life. These lies can seem insignificant but are very powerful. They can say a lot about how you feel about yourself or someone else. They can also be used as a place holder or time saver. But in the end they can really cost you in life and love. So here are 5 lies you need to unlearn right now.

Little lies can actually bring big problems. Here are 5 ‘harmless’ lies that will really hurt your life.

“I’m fine”

No, you’re not. This is the go-to lie of anyone who doesn’t feel like explaining themselves. More often than not you are far from fine when you say, “I’m fine.” What you’re really saying is, “I’m trying to be fine. I want to be fine. I’m upset. I’m hurt. I’m sad. I’m scared. But I’m totally not fine.”

You really need to trust someone to spill your guts to. But that’s what friends, and family, is for. Follow-up to this salient admission with, “I could use some support. That will help me actually be fine.”

“I don’t care”

Yes, you do. It might be embarrassing to admit you still have an emotional investment in a situation that is dead, dying or toxic. But being honest with yourself will help you be honest with others. Your friends and family may not respond well to an honest statement like, “It really bothers me.” But if you back it up with “But I know things are the way they should be,” or “I know it’s for the best,” you can avoid some eye rolls and head shakes. You care right now but you will be okay, eventually.

“I’m over it”

Are you really? Or do you want to be? If you’re just angry, offended and defensive it will seep through a tough exterior. Holding grudges is unhealthy for your mind and body. But letting bad behavior go and moving forward without processing it can be harmful too. Being “over” something means you acknowledge what happened and understand your feelings about it. You can then accept your decision to move on with or without someone, or something. When you’re really over it it holds no weight over you.

“I don’t know”

Are you sure? Trust your gut. If you feel something is brewing, investigate. If your partner is being distant, find out why. If you’re not being kept in the loop, make some calls. Be proactive in your life and make things happen. Don’t let your life happen to you.

“I’m trying”

But what are you doing? Trying means you’re putting in work to get what and where you want. Thinking about things is only the first step. Planning is a good follow-up. But then you need follow-through. You need to do. Keep a checklist of whatever you’re working toward and make sure to mark it off regularly. If you are truly trying you should have a record of your steps for success.

Sometimes it’s easier to hide your feeling or your faults than admit something deeper is going on. You have to trust your own feelings to trust another person with them. You must be honest with yourself and be honest with others.

Looking to the future and coming from where you’d like to be is an encouraging mental exercise. But it can lead you to living a less than genuine life. Don’t get used to holding in or denying your true feelings. Be open and let your support system support you through hard times.

In self development June 8, 2020 By Editor

Oluwatosin Arodudu: Men, Ego & The Craving For Respect From Women

“The only thing that a man needs is respect”

I hear this popular statement every now and then being used to charge women to be respectful towards their husbands. It is said that the only thing close to the heart of a man, that he needs and craves, is respect. This statement has wreaked a lot of havoc in many homes. It has created a lot of men who have become unapproachable gods their homes, and to the society at large. This statement has positioned some men and pitted them strategically against their wives. It has made them stiff-necked, and like a panther, prowling quietly seeking for ways to accuse their wives and all women, as being disrespectful. It has created lots of men who have become an opposition on their own path of progress. They will not discuss issues with their wives because they see her input or advise to them as a sign of disrespect.

I was having a discussion with a couple… engaged to be married. Whenever this woman chipped in her own idea to our discussion, the man would shut her up and tell her she argues too much. He tells her to keep to quiet and stop arguing. We were having a brainy discourse, and this was his reaction to his intended wife. I watched that scenario play out all through the conversation. The woman is actually like an aunt to me, so I called her aside and told her: “Aunt, you would be making a mistake getting married to this man. He is going to project his self esteem issues on you and crush you. Please give this union a second thought. ”

She ended up calling off their engagement after a while, because she had an epiphany of the kind of prison she would subject herself to, all in the name of respect. Shortly afterwards, she met and married a man who saw her as a partner and celebrated her intelligence rather than crush it.

You can’t say because you are a man, then you disrespect your wife privately and publicly and yet demand absolute respect from her in return. How possible is this? Is she not human? Even if she respects you despite the disrespect you churn out at her, understand that the kind of respect she gives you is coming from a place of bitterness and hatred.

It will take a lot of grace for a woman to keep doling out respect to a man who constantly disrespects her. That kind of respect if actually given by the woman, despite the disrespect she gets from the man, is toxic and it will attract ill luck.

Dear man what kind of a man are you? Are you a man of honor? How do you treat your wife? Do you know that respect begat respect? The kind of respect you showed her while you both were still in a relationship before marriage that made her so sweet towards you, why has that respect suddenly gone out the window?

Some homes are going through a whole lot of hardship because of this same respect issue that we keep saying is exclusive to men. Decisions which should have been jointly made by the man and the woman becomes the sole decision of the man. He deliberately decides not to seek for his wife’s input, because somewhere in his subconscious he feels if her input ends up to be right, then he would have lost respect in her eyes.

This is so wrong, and a terrible mindset. Sometimes your wife sees what you can’t see. Women are naturally intuitive and have the gift to perceive whatever might go wrong. How can you have such a beautiful gift in the form of your wife and you decide to belittle and treat her condescendingly? Don’t you realize you are short changing yourself and delaying your own advancement in life?

A woman once told me she can’t discuss issues that are ruining their marriage with her husband. The man would be so aggressive, not willing to listen, and she would forget everything she wanted to discuss. I told her to try another method – writing down a list, and agreeing with him on a convenient time for their discussion. She did this, and immediately the discussion started the man flared up and turned everything into a huge fight which ended up in tears for her. According to him, she was being confrontational by writing down a list of what she wanted to discuss with him.

Why are some men so full of ego and so impossible?

In conclusion everybody needs respect.

The man and the woman both deserve respect. It is what you plant in your wife that you will reap in double folds. That is why some women, even if they become scholars, business or company executives in life, would adore their husbands, and show him so much respect in private and in public.

Ask around or ask her why she does this, she would tell you her husband cherishes, respects, adores and supports her.

The only thing a man needs is not respect, a man needs a good heart in him, he needs to be respectful towards his wife. He needs to cherish, support and adore her. He needs to see her as his partner. He needs to seek her input in every decision that concerns their marriage and even some personal decisions. There is no good woman you treat this way that will not treat you even better.

A man and a woman both needs respect so their union can thrive on healthy grounds.

Photo Credit: Tracy Whiteside | Dreamstime.com

About Oluwatosin Arodudu

Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu is a lawyer, a mediator, a negotiator and an arbitrator. She advocates for women’s rights and children’s rights. She is the author of the book Motherhood and the Society. She blogs at www.musingsandthots.com

Source: Bellanaija

In self development June 8, 2020 By Editor

Over 25 & Still Live At Home? Here Are 9 Struggles You Can Relate With

The whole idea of being an adult is that you are independent and you fend for yourself. Based on this idea, the general expectation is that by the adult age of 25 you have completed your education, gotten a job and moved out of your parent’s home. Unfortunately, the economy and a dreary labour market have created a boomerang effect, which now compels young adults to move back into their parents, or never even leave at all upon completing their education or finding a job.

Sure, it would seem that living with one’s parents would provide the perfect succor: a free room, free and regular home-cooked meal, the warmth and company of loved ones, and perhaps even free transportation; but those who actually live this reality would beg to differ.

Here are 9 of the struggles you face when you are over 25 and still living with your parents:

You are forced to live by your parent’s rules
This can be very agonizing because all the time you spent away at school and NYSC, you had a taste of freedom but now that you are back at your parents’, the joy of doing things the way you want them and at your own pace is completely gone. Your parents take that away from you.

You find that you have to schedule your movements around a curfew set by your parents; you need to seek their permission before going anywhere, or doing anything really. You have to conform to their house rules no matter how ridiculous it seems. Now, this would not be a problem if it did not completely stunt your social life. You cannot hang out as freely as you would like, and/or be in a stable relationship – because you do not have control of your time.

You start to believe that your sole purpose in life is to answer questions and run errands
“Why are you still sleeping? It’s already 6 a.m and you father needs his morning tea”

“Have you taken out the garbage?”

“Please bring that remote for me”

“Where are you going? With whom, and why? Also, when will you be back?”

The questions and errands are endless and you cannot escape them. Your excuses, no matter how valid, do not count; and when you insist, you are labeled ungrateful or lazy.

You find yourself trapped in annoying social situations
“Folake come downstairs and greet our old neighbour’s mother-in-law. She is here to visit”.
Your mother yells at you to come down and greet every Dick, Tom, and Harry, and you cannot escape because It’s rude not to apparently. Some days, you are the designated driver and fuel ‘purchaser’, you spend the whole day driving your parents.

Other days you are forced to tackle Lagos Island alongside your mother in the bid to buy Ankara for the family “and co”. Every event is dubbed a “family event” and you must attend -whether you had previous plans or not.

The worst is when you have had a tiring day at work and all you want to do is get home, eat a large plate and go straight to bed. Getting home, you find a house full of your parents’ friends or even worse, relatives and you have to serve them.

You are forced to listen to your parent’s advice and opinion on everything
Your parents will share their view on everything with you, whether you pay attention or not. They will still give you lectures on even the most obvious things and tell you what they think you should be doing.

Your mother will become your nutritionist and doctor telling what you should eat or drink and why. The most irritating is when they start with the phrase “When I was your age…” Ehen? And so? Are we the same? Were you 25 in 2017, biko?

You parents confuse you with mixed signals about your expenditure
One minute your parents are scolding you for spending money on food outside- when there is food at home, the next they are throwing shade at you for finishing the food they bought with their hard earned money. Other times, they complain that you never pitch in to cover bills at home, but when you actually do, they turn around and say that you have insulted or humiliated them, and they do not need your chicken change.
Basically, you do not know how best to spend your money around them, because you don’t know if you will be condemned or praised for it.

You get blamed and yelled at for everything that goes wrong in the house
You feel like Cinderella after her father passed, because the way you see it, your parents treat you worse than Lady Tremaine.

Aside from the fact that you are not allowed to say no to their whims, you are constantly yelled at, and blamed for any and everything that goes wrong in the house. Even when it is clear that you are not at fault or you have an alibi, the fault will still be linked to you… somehow.

You start to feel like your life is a struggle to exist without annoying your parents. After a while, you decide to operate on the low-key and make yourself scarce to avoid the incessant nagging, but then it becomes a big deal that you are always in your room ignoring and snubbing other members of the household.

Privacy in unattainable
You may have your own room, but it does not in any way guarantee any measure of privacy. Your parents and siblings do not bother to knock, they just barge in and let you know what is on their mind. Should you venture to lock your door, they will pound on it and ask you what you are hiding and why you feel the need to lock the door anyway.

They do not hesitate to enter and search your room when you are away. Worse is when you finally have a visitor. Rather than leave you and your guest to the living room, you parents or siblings will choose that very moment to watch their favorite show in the living room as well.

You have to share everything
You cannot buy anything for just yourself anymore. Doing so will make you look ungrateful and greedy. If you feel like ordering Dominos pizza, you will have to order the large box, so that you can offer to you parents, siblings and house helps some slices. If you go for a party, an event or short trip, you have to bring back something for the house. Your mother uses Armani ‘Idole’, but the moment she smells Gucci ‘Envy Me’ on you, she decides she is in love with it and now comes to your room to spray it before going out every day.
“Obinna, please ‘borrow’ me your phone let me quickly call your sister” and 1 hour 15 minutes later, when your credit has run out, you are handed back your phone.

You still do not save as much as you thought you would
The idea behind moving back to your parents’ is so that you can save enough money to rent a nice place and probably get a car. Two years later, your account is still in the same state as it was before you moved in. You realize the living in your parents’ home has done more harm than good. You actually spend more (on yourself and family) because you feel more secure and basically, you have become a little spoilt…you indulge more.
You keep procrastinating too, because…who wants to go through the stress of moving out?

Do you relate with any of these struggles? Do you have more to share?

Source: Bellanaija

By: Nkem Ndem

In self development June 2, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Enitan Facos: 3 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away

So you met a man and everything was going great between the two of you. Or so you thought.

Then, quick as lightning, he was out the door.

When it comes to relationships, women and men have unique perspectives. From first date etiquette to when to sleep with their partner, the outlooks are diverse.

However, when a man pulls away from the woman he’s seeing it’s usually for a specific reason.

Here are three HUGE mistakes you may be making that push men away.

You’re clingy

If there’s one thing that’ll send any man running it’s a clingy woman. Sure, it’s nice to be affectionate and show him that he’s on your mind, but when you make him your be and end all, he’ll start to feel smothered.

When this happens he’ll try to regain his independence by pulling away.

What’s worse is when you make it known that you’re falling for him, too quickly. Since men are looking for fun in the beginning of a relationship, letting him know that you’re already planning your future together will scare him away.

Instead of showing your emotions too soon, it’s crucial that you remain calm, cool and collected.

Remember, if a man senses that a woman wants more from him and the relationship than he’s prepared to give, he will pull away.

You’re insecure

Studies have shown that 97% of women are unhappy with their bodies at least once a day.

However, when it comes to relationships showing your insecurities is never a good idea.

Sure, it’s nice to be comfortable enough to talk about your gym routine or the healthy eating kick you’re on with your man, but if you’re asking him “Do these jeans make me look fat” or nagging anytime an attractive woman talks to him, then you’re digging your own relationship grave.

The problem is that once your insecurities start to show there’s no going back. Instead of pushing him away with your self-doubts show him your happy-go-lucky side and he’ll be hooked.

A good tip to follow is to pretend that every date with your man is a first because there’s no way you’d let him see this side of you then.

You’re unhappy without him

Just because you’re happy when you’re with him it doesn’t mean that he isn’t catching on to your negativity when he’s not in the room. In fact, if he knows that he’s your sole source of happiness then it’s likely to push him away.

The problem here is this type of situation makes him feel pressured to keep you content, and that’s a huge responsibility for anyone!

Instead of relying on him to keep you smiling, make the most of your life. Do the things that you love. When you do, you’ll not only be making yourself happier, but it’ll improve the overall quality of your relationship too.

For a deeper insight on what pushes men away take a moment and watch this free video presentation by relationship expert, Amy North.

Source: https://hackspirit.com/3-huge-mistakes-women-make-that-push-men-away/