self development Archives

In self development June 12, 2018 By Women of Rubies

“I SUFFERED FROM CLINICAL DEPRESSION FOR 4 YEARS” -MOCHEDDAH

According to her, mental disorders, including depression, are still not regarded as serious health problems in the country.

“Depression is a medical illness contributed to by an interplay of both biological factors, that is, genetic predisposition, hormones and neurotransmitters and environmental factors such as adverse life events.

“Due to lack of awareness, many people do not know that they or someone they know have depression and try to cope with it sometimes for years without the necessary help.

“Although, knowledge of existence of mental health problems is improving with education, information dissemination through the media and NGOs, the level of this awareness is still quite low. In general, psychological illnesses are not regarded as `serious’ problems.

“There is also a lot of stigma and discrimination attached to people who have psychological disorders. People usually seek help when symptoms become severe, incapacitating or embarrassing,” she said.

The consultant psychiatrist also urged the governments and relevant stakeholders to put more attention and resources, including trained staff, into developing and equipping the Primary Health Care (PHC) system.

She said that most of the detection and initial management of depressive disorders need to be at the primary healthcare centres in the rural and semi-urban communities.

See her posts below

In self development June 6, 2018 By Women of Rubies

HASHTAG VS REALITY: THE TRUTH BEHIND BODY IMAGE AND SELF WORTH

Self-love, body confidence, curvy girls rock, melanin popping among other words of self-affirmation have been formed into such beautifully popular hashtags that people all over the world use on the internet to spice up their social media captions among other reasons but I wish that more than being just hashtags and things we say to be cool on the internet, we truly believe them and have as much “positive energy” in real life and in our minds as we have online about our bodies.

At a time where the global society has immense focus on appearance and even more so an obsession with beauty and “perfect” appearance leaving little or no room at all for different appearances or diversity within the generally conceived idea of what beauty is – which basically means that if you don’t look a certain way or at least try to look a certain way you’ll be considered way far from being perfect and maybe even downright ugly – the gospel of healthy body image and how it affects our self-worth, productivity and even our mental health should be preached to all ends of the earth but more importantly, it should be practiced. Why is this a topic? How bad do these things get?

Well, Imagine being unable to do basic things like go shopping or go to parties or speak at a business meeting because (you are afraid) of how people view you and what they say. These unkind comments have led many to depression and suicide.

The problem isn’t that we don’t know this is a problem, it is that we don’t treat it as one. People can tweet all day about these subjects but millennials have often been called the hashtag generation because we do not translate our online advocacy to real-world behaviours.
Still, in 2018, women still have to worry about not being judged by their size or weight. So many women still suffer from depression because of how they look and people still have preconceived ideas of plus size women. With every hashtag trend regarding body confidence, we get more comfortable about talking about these subjects, yet we still Judge.

This is sadly not a problem that can be solved overnight, neither is this an epidemic we can solve with a one “fits-all” solution. However, while this might be a complex issue at the core, a change in perspective might just be all we need to rid ourselves of “body shaming”.

Written by : Awazi Agbalaga

Source: Guardian

Pic credit: Pintrest

In self development May 28, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MONDAY MOTIVATION: HOW TO BE MORE PROACTIVE AT WORK

Proactive people are constantly moving forward, looking to the future, and making things happen. They’re actively engaged, not passively observing. Being proactive is a way of thinking and acting.

Let’s look at the five Ps on how to be more proactive.

1. Predict

In order to be proactive, you must first develop foresight.

Proactive people are rarely caught by surprise. Learn to anticipate problems and events. Understand how things work; look for patterns; recognize the regular routines, daily practices and natural cycles that exist in your business. At the same time, don’t allow yourself to become complacent. Use your imagination when anticipating future outcomes. Don’t simply expect the past to always be an accurate predictor for the future; use your creativity and logic. Come up with multiple scenarios for how events could unfold. Proactive people are always on their toes.

2. Prevent

Proactive people foresee potential obstacles and exert their power to find ways to overcome them before those obstacles turn into concrete roadblocks.

They prevent problems that others would simply look back on in hindsight and claim unavoidable. Don’t allow yourself to get swept up in a feeling of powerlessness. When challenges approach, take control and confront them head on before they grow into overwhelming problems.

3. Plan

Proactive people plan for the future.

Avoid one-step, “here and now” thinking and instead, look ahead and anticipate long-term consequences. Bring the future into the present; what can you do today to ensure success tomorrow? Don’t make decisions in a vacuum; every decision is a link in a chain of events leading to one final conclusion. In order to make the best decision, you have to know where you came from, where you are, and where you want to end up.

4. Participate

Proactive people are not idle observers, they are active participants.

In order to be proactive, you must get involved. You have to take initiative and be a part of the solution. Recognize that you are only a piece of the whole and that you influence—and are influenced by—the actions of others. Don’t simply react to them. Engage with them. Exert your influence and make a contribution.

5. Perform

Being proactive means taking timely, effective action.

You must be decisive and willing to do the work NOW. Procrastination is not an option. Take ownership of your performance and hold yourself accountable. Stand behind your decisions. Being proactive means you have taken careful, thoughtful steps to choose the appropriate path; you’re not just reacting impulsively to your environment.

Culled from https://www.eatyourcareer.com

In lifestyle May 28, 2018 By Women of Rubies

THIS WOMAN WAS FORCED TO LIVE IN A SHRINE TO PAY FOR HER UNCLE’S ADULTERY

Brigitte and her family lived in Togo while her uncle lived in Ghana.

Unknown to her father, Brigitte was going to be a Trokosi – a culture where a member of a family (female) is chosen to pay for the crime of another family member.

Trokosis are called wives of the gods and they are held in a shrine run by a priest dedicated to the worship of deities.

At the time, Brigitte was only 7 years old. She had never been to Ghana before that time; neither did she understand their language. She was just told to go and live with her uncle.

Brigitte’s uncle had committed adultery and she had to be a Trokosi, so that evil does not befall her family as it is popularly believed in the communities where it is practiced.

“The community leaders of where Trokosi is practiced believe that when there is sickness in the community, someone has sinned and there is a need to appease the gods of the land. Sometimes, the gods demand a human being, not to be killed but to be isolated.”

The Trokosi practice has survived for over 300 years and is still in practice even though it was banished since 1998.

Life as a Trokosi was a hard and difficult one especially as a child who did not know why she was dumped at a shrine.

“Each day, I was woken at 5am and sent to fetch water. I had to carry heavy buckets on my head. It was hard physical work for a child. I was made to sweep the compound and work long hours on the farm. I wasn’t allowed to play or even go to school. I was in total isolation,” Brigitte said.

Luck smiled on Brigitte when an American news crew visited the shrine to cover what was going on there. The report gave her freedom, as an American viewer flew to Ghana to negotiate her release. His name was Kenneth Perenyi and he became her adoptive father. He took her to the US where she spent the next 13 years.

Unfortunately, these girls are left wondering why they are in the shrine as they are not familiar about the practice.

Meanwhile, for the practice to be completed, there was a need for the traditional priest to sleep with the virgin girl who comes in and the girls often bare the children of the priest.

Brigitte didn’t have to go through that because she got her freedom even as a child.

“I was liberated before purity so I didn’t go through it. When I left the shrine in 1997, there were about 5000 women and children in Ghana alone. Thousands were liberated and Trokosi was made illegal in 1998 but no priest has ever been prosecuted and the practice still goes on,” she explained.

The practice is so age-long that when a Trokosi dies, another girl is brought to replace the deceased.

Credit: woman.ng

In lifestyle May 25, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET THE FEMALE BIKERS WHO ARE RIDING BIKES TO SAVE WOMEN’S LIVES

The group’s members are on a mission, to permeate West Africa and teach women across the sub-region about health and hygeine.

Their name, however, and the emphasis on the term “female’ highlights the first challenge they must face, being female bikers in a society that sees bike riding as too brash and unfeminine for women.

“Some people think all women who ride bikes are crazy but the truth is women who ride bikes are some of the sanest people in the world“, one of the bikers, code named “Agent Chocolate” told BBC Pidgin.

However, the unwanted attention that comes from the novelty of seeing a female biker is often flipped to their advantage. In the right situation, it makes people gravitate towards them, not away.

“It’s a normal thing for a man to ride a bike“. Ogoru Akpevwe Attracta, a member of the group says, “but if a woman rides up on the bike, people say, “Ah – it’s a woman”

“That makes everyone gather round and then we can talk to them“, she continues. “We tell them about breast cancer, cervical cancer and how they can take care of themselves so that they can live well“.

The spectacle that is their presence is often enough to pique the random observer’s interest but sometimes, the bikers also organise events like bike rides to raise awareness for cancer.

“Last year, we did breast and cervical cancer awareness“

“We raised money, got sponsors so we could pay for women’s tests“

“We paid for over 500 women who benefited from this.”

The courage that the bikers have shown in challenging gender stereotypes is very commendable.

But even more important is the void they fill in a country where healthcare is, very often, either inadequate or too expensive for the average person.

“Cervical cancer is a disease that women are not supposed to get“, says Dr. Omolola Salako, of Sebeccly Cancer Care, “But if women go for screening, we would detect it at stage zero and limit complications“

“We want to change their minds, because some people think that all female bikers are crazy”, one of the bikers says. “But the truth is they don’t just party. They don’t just ride bikes. They’re thinking and working together, finding ways to move society forward“, a biker says.

In Interviews&profile May 25, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET LEILA DANESHVAR, IRAN’S FIRST FEMALE MANUFACTURER

When Leila Daneshvar was a little girl, she used to sit on the floor of her father’s workshop, asking for small jobs.

“He was a mechanic, and I always had the most fun when I was in the garage with him,” She told AFP.

“But in those days, there were no mechanical careers in Iran, so I went to college in India. Even there, I was the only girl in my year of 139 students. I had a hard time.”

But she persevered. Now 37, she runs her own company in Iran, making mobility equipment for hospitals and the elderly.

“I went to Europe and saw how disabled people live happy, independent lives. I wished my own people had this equipment, and I thought: ‘This doesn’t look complicated. I’m a mechanical engineer — I can do it.”

The breakthrough for the company, called KTMA and selling under the brand “Lord”, came in early 2016, just after Iran’s nuclear deal with world powers came into force, lifting international sanctions.

Within a couple of months, a Swedish investor, Anna Russberg, had agreed to buy 25 percent of the company, bringing much-needed business skills and capital.

“Leila had a reputation for quality production, which was practically unknown here. But I needed to turn the business upside-down,” said Anna.

“It worked. People could tell we were a good mix. We respect each other’s knowledge. She’s the engineer, I’m the businesswoman.”

Being women in Iran’s patriarchal business world could be tricky, but also an advantage.

“Hijab is difficult when you’re a manufacturer. You have to climb things, go below things,” said Leila, laughing.

“But being a woman has its advantages. Everyone remembers you.”

Anna added: “People don’t know how to treat us exactly, which is useful in negotiations.”

Things were looking up: low production costs meant they could charge five times less than foreign firms and they were doubling sales each year, finally landing a major contract with Qatari hospitals.

But then, President Donald Trump pulled the US out of the nuclear deal.

It soon became hard to import crucial raw materials, particularly stainless steel.

“We already had problems in getting raw materials… and now it’s impossible. Either I have to close the factory, or have to continue with much higher prices,” said Leila.

“We had to let four or five workers go last month because we couldn’t pay their salaries, and it breaks my heart.”

“These sanctions are not on the government, it’s on the people. I can give less to disabled people, to the elderly. Our saying was that we are providing European quality with affordable prices. Can I do that anymore? I don’t know.”

Anna remains positive.

“Iran has 10 million older or injured people who can use our product. With or without Trump, we still have a business,” she said.

Leila Daneshvar, Managing Director at KTMA, working with an engineer at the company’s factory in Tehran’s Shahriar neighbourhood, on May 17, 2018. (AFP)

“It’s a real pity. Being an investor in Iran is a rollercoaster — you take one step forward, three steps back. But it’s an amazing country with great opportunities,” Anna said.

Leila stays positive by remembering her father, who passed away last month.

“When I become weak and tired… I remember his strength,”

“There is no going back. Iran faces so many problems, but I learned from him that the strength is inside me, and my partner. When we believe we can do it, we will do it,” She said.

Credit: AFP, Pulse News

In Career Gems May 24, 2018 By Women of Rubies

NIGERIAN AUTHOR, CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE SPEAKS AT HARVARD CLASS DAY 2018

In a speech that was the culmination of the school’s annual pre-commencement festivities, Ngozi Adichie juxtaposed the idea of truth to the state of American politics. She drew from her experience growing up in Nigeria during a military dictatorship, and said , “America always felt aspirational — but today the political discourse in America is from the land of the absurd.”

The writer challenged graduates to be “citizen leaders,” seeking out what is right.

“Even if there is no value in the other side, there is value in knowing what the position is,” she said.

“If you are reporting about the sun rising in the east, you don’t need to hear about the other side because there is no other side,” Ngozi Adichie said.

Her message rang true for graduating senior Priscilla Guo, who mentioned Harvard’s Latin motto of “Veritas,” or “truth.”

“Veritas is more than just a motto,” Guo said.

“It was her asking that we acknowledge our ignorances, which struck me. She noted that ignorance acknowledged is opportunity. I walked away from her speech thinking that acknowledging what I do not know can be both powerful and enlightening in my quest for truth and justice.”

Ngozi Adichie’s work has been translated into more than 30 languages. She is known for novels including “Half of a Yellow Sun” and “Americanah,” which explores how a young Nigerian encounters race in America.

“Few writers have captured the challenges of immigrants and others navigating those changes as Adichie,” the university said.

Credit: wtop.com

In self development May 22, 2018 By Women of Rubies

“WOMEN WILL NO LONGER BE CONTROLLED, MANIPULATED OR ABUSED” -JANET JACKSON

Janet Jackson has said she supports all the women around the world who “have made it clear we will no longer be controlled, manipulated or abused”.

Janet who picked up the Icon Award at the 2018 Billboard Music Awards, used her acceptance speech to praise those who have come forward and given prominence to the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements.

Before taking to the stage, Bruno Mars introduced her as the “the youngest member of the Jackson family” while the audience was shown a short film outlining her numerous accolades, including being the first black woman to receive the coveted award.

After performing a vibrant medley of three of her best-known songs (“Nasty”, “If ” and “Throb”), Jackson – amid an overwhelming “Janet” chant – then addressed the arena.

“I am deeply humbled and grateful for this award. I feel that for all the challenges, all of our challenges, we live at a glorious moment in history,” she said:

“It’s a moment when at long last women have made it clear that we will no longer be controlled, manipulated or abused.

“I stand with those women and with those men equally outraged who support us in heart and mind – This is also a moment when our public discourse is loud and harsh.”

She ended her speech by thanking God, telling fans that “everything we lack, God has in abundance.”

Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, Meryl Streep and Chadwick Boseman recently joined forces with British counterparts Letitia Wright, Michael Sheen and Thandie Newton to pen an open letter to world leaders demanding an urgent push for global gender equality.

The letter warns leaders they are being put “on notice” and asks for a commitment to help every girl get an education. It hits out at the inequality between women and men, particularly in the poorest countries of the world.

Amy Poehler, Amy Schumer, Chelsea Clinton and Ryan Reynolds are also among the 140 signatories – as well as Neil Patrick Harris, Natalie Dormer and Robin Wright.

Jackson is one of the famous Jackson siblings and her older brother, Michael, is widely considered one of the biggest-selling musicians of all time.

Watch Janet Jackson’s acceptance speech on https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/bbma/8456860/janet-jackson-icon-award-speech-bbmas-2018-watch?utm_source=twitter

Credit: www.billboard.com

In self development May 21, 2018 By Women of Rubies

FIVE LIFE LESSONS FROM OPRAH WINFREY ON GETTING OVER FAILURE

Oprah Winfrey is no doubt the undisputable Queen of Media. She went from a 19-year-old news anchor for a Tennessee TV station to a billionaire with her own television channel, even though her former boss once told her that she was too emotional and ‘unfit’ for TV!

However, Oprah widely known as the “Queen of Media” encountered a number of hardships in the process of cultivating her media empire.

Amidst criticism over the Oprah Winfrey Network’s low television ratings following its 2011 debut, Oprah Winfrey told People magazine she had reached her “breaking point.” But Winfrey overhauled the company, took on the CEO role, and went on to help make her network a fixture on cable television. Through it all, she learned some valuable lessons on how to overcome adversity. Check out her quotes below.

On the inevitability of failure:

It doesn’t matter how far you might rise. At some point, you are bound to stumble. If you’re constantly pushing yourself higher and higher, the law of averages predicts that you will at some point fall. And when you do, I want you to remember this: There is no such thing as failure. Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.–Harvard Gazette

On failing more than once:

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire.”—Forbes

On coping with hardships:

“Now, when you’re down there in the hole, it looks like failure. When that moment comes, it’s okay to feel bad for a little while. Give yourself time to mourn what you think you may have lost. But then, here’s the key: Learn from every mistake, because every experience, particularly your mistakes, are there to teach you and force you into being more who you are.”–Harvard Gazette

On failure as a blessing in disguise:

“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a different way to stand.”–evancarmichael.com

On the power of “you”:

“Although there may be tragedy in your life, there’s always a possibility to triumph. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always.”–Achievement.org

Credit: inc.com

In Interviews&profile May 17, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET THE 9-YEAR-OLD WHO WAS BORN WITHOUT HANDS, DOESN’T USE PROSTHETIC HANDS, AND YET WINS NATIONAL HANDWRITING CONTEST

9-year-old Anaya Ellick was born without hands and doesn’t use prosthetic hands but has been honoured with a prestigious award for her skillful handwriting.

A third-grader in Chesapeake area of Virginia, United States, she won the 2018 Zaner-Bloser National Handwriting Contest, under the Nicholas Maxim category, an award that rewards outstanding manuscript and cursive skills among students.

In 2016, Anaya won an award for her print writing.

Growing up, her mother helped her form letters, but she soon learnt how to hold a pencil between her two arms to write and draw.

Although quiet and shy, Anaya always tried out things and believed she could do it.

“She’s really independent – from tying shoes, putting clothes, getting baths. It was always like ‘I can do it’. So, that just carried on over the years,” her father told News 3

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