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3 Simple Ways to Get Along Better With Your Loved Ones

Why don’t we get along with our spouse, parents, kids or other important people in our lives as much as we’d like?

The reality in the lives of far too many people is that their relationships with those closest to them are too strained, difficult, and disconnected to think they’ll ever get along.

Maybe you have heard these statements…

“He just doesn’t get me,” from a son who had tried several times to explain why he chose a particular career path to his father.

“All my husband cares about is himself” from a wife whose husband doesn’t commit himself to following through plans with her.

Or maybe you have heard somebody swear not to visit their family anytime soon because they are ‘difficult’.

It’s pretty obvious that it’s beyond the belief of these people and so many others that they can heal the past and rebuild their relationship once again.

But why?

Why do all the things that have happened in the past scar the present moment and make it difficult (or in some cases feel impossible) to have a good relationship with another person?

The answer is that we tend to live in the past and carry it with us, even though it’s really our version of the past and may not be anyone else’s version.

Why don’t we all just forget the past and get along?

The simple version is that you have your way of looking at life and the other person has his or her way. The upshot is that your “rules” for living clash and both people want to be right.

The two people live in separate realities.

We try to get the other person to see the world the way we see it and are pissed off when they don’t.

But it can be different.

How?

Here are 3 ways to get along better with those you love even if you don’t see eye to eye…

1. Come to a neutral place inside you concerning this person or situation.

In order to get to a neutral place, you’ll want to stop spinning stories about what’s gone wrong.

That’s not to say you put a happy face on what happened in the past but it is to stop repeatedly reliving it.

2. Be willing to open the door to connection and understanding.

Notice if there’s even the slightest desire inside you to connect more deeply with this person.

It is a possibility that you don’t have all the information about a particular situation.

When you approach this situation or person with curiosity, you’ll be more open to a new understanding.

While opening your heart to understanding doesn’t mean you have to agree with what happened in the past, it does mean that you both may see something new that will create a healing.

3. Set boundaries from a loving place of knowing inside you.

It may be that you need to set some boundaries with this person but you can do this from love and not tightness or anger.

You can listen to what’s deep inside you and speak that from your heart without apology while still staying open to loving this person.

You can heal a relationship divide while still staying true to who you are.

When you do, you’ll have less stress and more ease and love in your life.

I hope this helps.

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Tips on Picking the Perfect Valentine Gift

It is that season where everyone and everywhere seems mushy mushy about love and while some people have gotten comfortable basking in the euphoria that comes with the season, others are overwhelmed with a rave of confusion and one of them is ‘how to find the perfect valentine gift for the one I love’

Now, while valentine’s day is a day of love, it isn’t specifically said it must be a day of only romantic love. What this means is that you can gift anyone -ranging from your romantic partner, siblings, colleague at work, down to your religious leaders and parents.

No doubt, there’s a little anxiety about how to get the perfect Valentine gift for your loved one. Read on, this article presents you with tips on how to go about it seamlessly.

Linger in your loved one’s closet.

I mean that both figuratively and literally. Give yourself a day where you think about their day. What’s in it, what its stresses are, what its delights are. The best response you can get is, “How did you ever think of this?” The answer: you thought of them.

Ask an expert.

Nahhhh. I do not mean you talking to some expert you find online. I’m thinking of that expert who is a best friend, who loves the same thing your loved one does, who shops in exactly the same places. Simply ask them, “What would you get X or Y for Valentine?” Seek and ye shall find.

Give where they give.

I’m always touched when someone gives a gift to a worthy cause in my name. It’s even more touching if it’s a worthy cause that they know I give to regularly. They’ve read my heart.

Listen.

She will tell you what she wants/likes even if she doesn’t realise.

This may seem like an obvious tip but most people tend to drop hints about what they like and want, even if they don’t realise they are doing it.

They may have said that after their next pay-day, they might spoil themselves with those new earrings, gadgets, make-up brushes, trainers, speakers, etc. which is an obvious indication of the things they want. Another huge one to listen out for is, “I want a few new cushions for the sofa but I can’t justify getting them right now.”

However, some women may be a little more subtle or not be trying to drop hints at all. Some more phrases worth listening out for are:
– I’m nearly out of perfume
– My boots are starting to look really worn
– I could do with a jewellery box

The key to surprising people with gifts they wants is to listen for indicators in normal conversation, especially if she is complaining (as everyone does) about something she currently has! Also, make a note of it straight away so you don’t forget.

Think about them as a person.

We don’t just mean think about ‘what will they like’ as you desperately rush around a store. We mean think about what they already have and what they already like. Do they have a lot of jewellery or home knick-knacks, are they a fan of wine, tea or soft drinks, what do they enjoy doing?

Write down what you already know about them in a list and you’ll be surprised how much difference this makes when you shop for a gift.

For instance, if you know they have a lot of jewellery, you might realise that you don’t really want to buy them more, but it shows they might need something to keep it all together, something like a jewellery box.

By following this thought pattern you can explain why you bought her/him that gift and, trust us, if you show her/him it’s because you pay attention to her/him, you will get some major brownie points.

Buy a simple gift but make it unique.

You know they like a drink of wine in the evening . Yet what can you do with that information to give them something they’ll love – getting them some new wine glasses and a bottle of rosé might sound a bit simple.

But, it’s important to remember that when you are buying gifts for them, you want to get them something that they’ll love and use. So take those wine glasses and that bottle of wine and have them personalised with a special message or date that will be meaningful.

The same idea can work with so many other types of gifts too like jewellery, cushions and even candles.

This will show that not only have you thought about what they like but taken that information to a whole new level to make sure you put a real smile on their face.

Don’t buy her/him something mundane – spoil her/him!

However, the key to getting her a gift she will love is buying something that spoils her. You may argue that she is not the type of woman that likes being spoiled, however, we are here to tell you that any woman likes knowing someone loves her enough to really put effort into her gift and buy her something special.

Don’t fall into the trap of getting her something she needs that isn’t special, for instance:
– I’m nearly out of shampoo
– My break pads are starting to look really worn
– I really like my mum’s fabric softener
– I could do with some new socks

You see what we mean.

A gift doesn’t have to be a thing.

Bear with us for this one. If you think of buying a gift, you think of a (hopefully) beautifully wrapped item that she can open and hold – This doesn’t have to be the case.

If there is something you think she may enjoy doing it’s possible that an experience day or weekend away may be a better gift for her than a new jumper.

There are so many experience days out there, from spa days, vineyard tours and cupcake decorating classes to super car driving blasts and bungee jumping experiences, so it’s definitely another thing to put into the equation when buying gifts for her.

The perfect gift could be an experience, a dinner out, tickets to a concert or a play or better yet a gift that can be given all year: “I’m bringing you breakfast in bed the first Saturday of the month for the rest of the year” or “I’m going to help you clean up your closet by the end of February.” The gift is in the doing.

 

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4 Relationship Rules Every Couple Should Break

Whether you consider yourself to be a “rule breaker” or not, sometimes you’ve just got to break relationship rules.

The fact is that we all live by a set of rules. We may not call them that or even be aware of what these rules are most of the time. In fact, we live by most of our rules completely unconscious of them.

So what rules are we talking about and why “Should” we break them?

We’re talking about the “rules” that you, us and everyone else lives make up in every moment of our lives.

These rules that we’re talking about could include ideas and beliefs that your parents either preached about or showed you by example and you adopted even though you may not have realized it.

Also, these rules are the beliefs that society subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) says you should or shouldn’t do.

These rules that you live by (often unconsciously) act as the rudder or guide for what you will or won’t do in your life.

In fact, most of the rules we live by in our relationships and marriages actually keep us from having all the love and passion that is possible for us instead of giving us more.

You know the ones we’re talking about…

You have them in your own life if you think about them.

Ideas like…

“Marriage is hard so just make the best of it”

“It’s your duty as a woman so lie down and get through it the best way you can”

Or “Passion dies after a few years of being together so don’t expect it to last very long.”

Wow–even though you may not have those specific beliefs, we’re guessing that you have some beliefs and rules that hold you back from experiencing your best life and relationships possible.

Here are 4 relationship rules we love to break so we can keep passion alive in our relationship (and we urge you to break them often too!)….

# 1 Rule to Break: Not allowing yourself to be vulnerable and totally honest about who you are

This is one of the biggest unspoken relationship rules we’ve seen demonstrated and passed down generation to generation.

It’s the one that says, “If you’ve been hurt before, don’t open yourself to anyone else. Keep a part of yourself private and don’t allow yourself to ever be vulnerable like that again.”

While we know that it’s not easy to open to another after you’ve been in pain, if you’re holding back a part of yourself, you’re also holding back love.

And that withholding of love can only increase the feeling of distance and separation between the two of you.

This withholding shows up in our communication with one another.

#2 Rule to Break: Romance, passion and intimacy should happen spontaneously.

The fear behind this rule is that planning for passion leads to boredom in a relationship.

There’s the belief that for passion to be exciting, you have to always be spontaneous–that if you take out the mystery and surprise, you’ll both get bored.

While this may be true for some people, we’ve found that the opposite is true for most of us.

The truth is that when you make passion a regular part of your life, the juice between the two of you just increases.

The author Malcolm Gladwell said that you can become an expert on anything by doing it for 10,000 hours.

Now we’re not saying that you have to spend 10,000 hours in the throes of passion to get good at it but we are saying that it can increase instead of decrease if you make passion more a part of your life.

And you do that by planning it–because if you don’t, you know as well as we do that life will get in the way and it won’t happen.

And you do it by having a passion mindset and looking for it in the most unlikely ways.

So break this rule and deepen your connection and passion with each other.

#3 Rule to Break: No touching or shows of intimacy in public

How many couples do you see holding hands when they walk or sitting in a restaurant?

Not many, right?

For some reason, it seems to go against the grain to show even innocent signs of affection in public–even though it’s one of the things that can help keep your passion and connection going.

Even though relationship advice articles encourage what we’ll call light-weight public displays of affection–(holding hands, sitting close, putting your arm around your partner)–for people in relationships of many years…

They just don’t do it.

Whether they don’t think they have to “try” that hard, they think “we’re not teenagers anymore” or there are too many old grievances between the two of them to allow themselves to show this kind of love and affection…

They don’t do it.

We suggest you take the plunge and go out on a limb. Break this rule and reach for your partner’s hand the next time you’re out. See what happens.

#4 Rule to Break: You don’t have to treat your partner with respect after being together for a few years

If there’s one thing we see as we observe other couples, it’s that as time goes on, there’s a tendency to forget about respecting each other and they take each other for granted.

This lack of respect can come in the form of not acknowledging one another when one person returns home after being away.

It can come in the form of allowing the interruption of a telephone call, email or Facebook to take precedence over listening to your partner when he or she talks to you.

Or it can come in the form of using unkind words to your partner when kind words would work just as well.

If you want passion to grow, you have to start respecting each other.

Take a moment now and look at your interactions with your partner to see where you might be more loving and respectful of him or her.

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5 Real Relationship Goals You Should Yearn to Achieve

We have undoubtedly seen a lot of #RelationshipGoals hashtags and memes on social media ranging from pictures of cute couples with matching outfits to poorly exaggerated and overly unrealistic images.

Relationship goals are very important because growth is always needed when building a relationship.

However, the relationship goals portrayed in this trend are beginning to lose their true meaning and become over-the-top, nothing more than a cute picture to be seen on social media.

Making real relationship goals does not just mean taking walks in the park and cuddling on the sofa. It involves making plans and goals for yourselves as a couple so that you can reach for real happiness and longevity in the relationship.

You should know that everyone is different, and while a couple might love each other very much, their goals and plans might differ. This difference and lack of common goals can cause conflict in relationship and possibly break it if you do not understand each other well enough.

Therefore, it is important to discuss your proposed goals together and make sure that you are on the same page either as a player or as a supporter.

On this note, here are 5 important long-term relationship goals you should actually strive toward.

1. Communicating and Listening to Each Other.

No matter how much a couple loves each other, lack of communication could ruin the relationship. Communication is one of the most important ingredients of successful relationships and marriage.

It is important for couples to be able to communicate and understand each other whenever the need arises without hindrance or fear of misunderstanding.

Couples need to learn to speak about their feelings, listen to each other and resolve issues properly without having to hurt each other.

A lot of couples are stuck in unhappy marriages due to lack of communication and inability to listen to each other. As much as listening is overlooked, it is also very important for couples to listen to their partners so they can understand and help each other. This is one of the reasons better communication and listening is one of the goals that couples should develop.

2. Being on the Same Page About your Future.

Of course, it’s cute that you are both happy with each other, but it might be a good idea to discuss, evaluate and understand where you are both headed so you can move in that direction happily.

Aligning your goals is a relationship goal you should both have. This will dispel misunderstanding and leave no doubt in your minds about what your future targets are, including enhancing each other’s career and investing for a better future.

3. Talking About Money.

Whether it’s friendship, family, work, marriage; money is always a major cause of conflict in all types of relationships.

So, one of your relationship goals should be to set up a proper financial management system which is transparent and fair so that you can build your finances as a couple. This involves analyzing your income and your needs, making plans together and avoiding frivolous spending.

4. Becoming Best of Friends and Having Fun Together.

In addition to being romantic, you should become best friends, joke and have fun with each other. Having fun with each other should involve participation and suggestions from both of you about activities and fun stuff to do together.

Your relationship goals should include doing what your partner loves doing, just like your partner participates in what you love.

From simple activities like going to the movies or visiting a museum, to bigger events like going on a cruise, you can make your partner happy by showing interest in what they love. The friendship process entails participation from both parties.

5. Keeping the Spark Alive.

One important relationship goal is to always keep the fire of passion burning in your relationship. In addition to sex, there are several ways you can do this that will please your partner. Most people think that marriage and long-term relationships usually lead to a decline in passion and sexual relations, but this is not true and should not be so. Lovers should always strive to spice things up and please each other in bed as much as possible.

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Practical Ways to Help You Overcome Postpartum Depression

The joy of every mother is to be able to create and establish a bond with their baby. However, if you find yourself withdrawn and unable to bond well with your partner and your baby, rapid mood swings, you find yourself feeling anxious and unable to sleep and eat properly and feelings of guilt or worthlessness overwhelm you and you find yourself preoccupied with the thoughts of death, you are suffering from postpartum depression.

So how do you overcome postpartum depression?
Speak to your doctor.

Speaking to your doctor about how you feel is the first step towards getting well. Your doctor will tell you’re suffering from postpartum depression and help you find a wellness plan such as medications, rest and or a support group of women who have gone through postpartum depression.

Seek the support of others.

Tell your partner exactly how you feel and how you want him to come in.

Let him know you need help and support and as much as you can, tell him the kind of support you need from him. Create a bond with your partner and work it out as a team.

If you have your family around you, let them in and seek their help and support.

Receive the support they are giving when they give it too.
Healthy social contacts and relations have shown to relieve stress faster than any other method of stress reduction.
Don’t keep to yourself. By all means, find a way to express your feelings – the good and the bad – to your friends and family and support group.
Find someone who can listen without being judgmental and talk to them.

Make yourself a priority

No, this is not you being selfish. It is just what it is, making yourself a priority. The more well you are physically and emotionally, the better you feel.
Forget about the house chores for now and focus more on yourself and your baby.

Exercise at least thirty minutes a day, it doesn’t have to be stressful, just a walk or stretch can do just fine. Exercise is just as effective as medications when it comes to treating depression so, work it out. Keep moving.

Get as much sleep as you can.

Yes eight hours sleep might not be feasible if we are to be realistic about the attention newborns deserve but you should also find time to rest and nap in between. Poor sleep only makes the depression worse and leaves you cranky, irritated and yelling at everyone including your baby.

Establish good eating habits as what you eat affects your mood a great deal. Feed on nourishing meals that have positive impacts on your mood and quality of your breast milk.
Avoid soda and caffeinated drinks, replace them with healthy drinks. Drink a lot of water. Eat fruits and vegetables in good amounts. 

Find and make quality time for yourself.

Do the things that make you happy, read a book, stay in the sun for a few minutes daily, get a massage and take a bubble bath.

Pamper yourself because you matter too.

If after doing all of these, you see no improvement, please see a therapist for a more professional help and solution.

 

 

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4 Natural Ways To Treat This Condition

Have you experienced Hairloss ? How did it make you feel?

Just like every other health conditions, hair loss doesn’t happen overnight.

It takes time, coupled with prevalent symptoms.

This is why it is believed that it’s possible to minimize or prevent the chances of going bald. Because taking note of its early signs, and doing the needful, can make the condition better.

That being said, the symptoms of hair loss include hair fall outs on your pillows when you wake up, an excessive breakage of hair when you comb or brush your hair.

And a definite change in hairline and thinning of the hair.

Be that as it may, it is important to note that these changes could mean different things; as it could be a sign of a serious medical condition.

Thus, it is advisable to seek a medical opinion whenever hair loss is experienced in other to be on the safe side.

However, if it is hereditary and you’re looking for a treatment that works without the side-effects of chemicals or medications, there are natural remedies to help reverse the condition.

Here are five natural home remedies for hair loss

1. Onion

Studies have shown that sulfur which is one of the vital components in promoting hair growth and preventing hair loss is richly present in onions.

And eating one to two raw onions every day can help tackle this condition.

Also, the condition can be checked by applying the fresh paste of onion juice on the bald areas, as it will help stimulates blood circulation and new hair growth.

2. Coconut milk

This is a trusted ancient remedy to regrow hair on the bald head. And it can be achieved by combining a mixture of 1/4 cup of coconut milk, two tablespoons of yogurt and one tablespoon of honey.

First, open up the hair follicles by washing the hair with warm water and then apply a thick layer of the paste on the scalp.

Leave for 15 minutes and then rinse off with cool water.

3. Garlic

And to make use of garlic for hair loss treatment, crush a few cloves of garlic and add coconut oil to it. Boil the mixture for a few minutes and let it cool down a bit before applying it to your scalp.

Let it rest on the hair for 30 minutes before washing off with warm water.

4. Egg

Studies have shown that egg has several ingredients that can help prevent or control hair loss. It is a rich source of sulphur and ahs phosphorous, selenium, iodine, zinc and protein.

The combination of these help promote hair growth.

However, to tackle hair loss with egg, take the white of one egg and mix in a teaspoon of olive oil. Then beat to give a paste-like consistency and apply to the entire scalp and hair.

Keep it on for about 15 to 20 minutes and then rinse with cool water and a mild shampoo.

Lastly, Nourish hair with protein

Unknown to most people, hair is made of a tough protein called keratin, which goes to say that our hair needs an adequate protein for hair growth and to strengthening the hair follicles as well.

You can nourish your hair with protein by combining one egg yolk with two tablespoons of lemon juice and a tablespoon of olive oil.

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Seunfunmi Toluwalase: Intersting Facts And Notable Places In Ibadan

Bower Memorial Tower

This amazing and extremely fascinating edifice was built in the honor of Captain Robert Lister Bower who was appointed as the minister for Ibadan city between 1893 and 1897 by the British Government. The tower building itself is 60 feet high and 11 feet square. Two entrances leads into it and in the inside is a spiral staircase that leads to the top of the tower. It is strategically located on the summit of Oke-Are, the highest hill in Ibadan, and from this tower, you can get a great view of Ibadan City.

The University of Ibadan Zoological Gardens

Established in 1948 initially with the purpose of serving as a menagerie supporting teaching and research, The University of Ibadan Zoological Gardens became a full fledged zoo in 1974. Home to a wide array of animals comprising mammmals, birds, reptiles, and amphibians, the zoological garden is open seven days a week, all year round from 8 a.m. to 6.30 p.m. Many guided tours take place in the zoo, mostly by schools for educational purposes.

Agodi Gardens

You can choose to call it Agodi Botanical Gardens, it still does justice to this beautiful scenery. Agodi Gardens is an exquisite flora enclave in the center of Ibadan. The serene and calm garden has a mini zoo, lush gardens with different types of vegetation, and water parks and a lake. It also provides facilities such as swimming pool and play areas for children and spaces for picnics. The garden is open to visitors throughout the week. You can decide to chill at one of the several ‘huts’ where you get served ’emu’- a local wine tapped from the palm tree- and ‘asun’

If you’re a lover of nature, serenity and solitude, you’ll fall in love with this garden as quickly as you can’t imagine.

Mapo Hall

Built beside one of the prolific palaces of the old Olubadans, in between Oja Oba (the King’s Market) and Beere, the Mapo Hall is located on the Mapo Hill and it was built to serve as the main town hall for Ibadan. It was commissioned during the colonial era in 1929, The hall is renowned for its seven columns, probably depicting the seven hills upon which the ancient city was built on (who knows?). The hall was the venue of the coronation of some Ibadan kings, and it is also quite famous for being the site of political campaigns of late Chief Obafemi Awolowo. Mapo Hall has a mini-museum where visitors can see chains which were used on tax evaders.

The Ventura

Located at Old Aerodrome Road, Along Sango-UI Road, Samonda, GRA, Ventura mall is one of the shopping malls in Ibadan, the others being Jericho Mall (along Jericho GRA), Palms Mall (Ring Road), Heritage Mall and Cocoa Mall (both located in Dugbe).

The Ventura is a place to enjoy many fun filled activities, if you’re one that loves bubbly activities. It has a children’s game arcade, cinema, food courts and shopping malls. Recreational activities including watching movies, games such as bowling, and shopping can be enjoyed at the mall too. Standing regally and strategically at the main entrance to the mall is an artificial fountain that you’ll not but fall in love with.

Enjoy amala

Your visit to Ibadan is not complete if you leave this beautiful town without eating amala, a popular Yoruba food and the main dish of Ibadan people. You can have amala in places such as Iya Adijat at Adeoyo State Hospital Road (Popular Nigerian Hip Hop Artiste Davido visited this place on his tour of Ibadan and he attested to the savoury taste of the local delicacy) Ose Olohun on Bodija Road, Inastraight on Cultural Centre Road in Mokola, the legendary Àmàlà Skye at Agodi and Iya Dunni Food Canteen at Challenge Roundabout Oluyole, Ibadan.

Enjoy the nightlife

Whether you love noisy and bubbly atmosphere or a cool and serene environment, Ibadan conveniently combines these so that you can have all the fun you choose. Apart from sights to see and places to visit, there are several night clubs in Ibadan to enjoy the nightlife. You can have a relaxing evening with friends and enjoy drinks and music in places like Kokodome, close to Cocoa House, Apollo’s at Palms Mall, Switch on Ring Road, GQ Lounge, Option 24/7 at Ikolaba, Platinum nightclub at Awolowo junction, Bodija amongst several others.

‘Seunfunmi Toluwalase

Facebook : Seunfunmi TO

Twitter: @the_Seunfunmi

Instagram: @the_seunfunmi

Mail : multiseun@gmail.com

Photo credit: Yahoo Images

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Temi Olajide: How To Help Your Kids Stop Fighting & Get Along Better

Siblings bickering and arguing can be frustrating and mentally exhausting for parents. Although disagreements between siblings may drive parents crazy, it teaches our kids how to deal with and resolve conflict at an early age. This will, in turn, help them handle conflicts in relationships outside of their immediate family as they become adults. Nevertheless, when it seems like your children can’t get along even for a minute, then you can try these tips:

Look after each child’s needs

Children feel valued if you make it clear that it’s not okay for younger children to mess up older children’s activities, and vice versa. Also, take time out to bond individually with each child, and, most importantly, try not to compare children with each other.

Praise their good behaviour

Notice and give positive feedback to your kids when they’re well behaved. When you tell children clearly and specifically what they’re doing well, you’re likely to see more of that behaviour.

Show children how to get along

You are your children’s number one role model. Your children will notice if you iron out differences without fighting. If you would like your children to figure things out calmly and respectfully, they have to see you doing this. If you would like them to be ready to apologize to others, they have to see you apologising too.

Coach your children

You are your children’s problem-solving coach. You should teach them the way to handle disagreements and guide them toward skills for managing angry feelings, negotiating, and playing fair. This is much better than having to step in when they’re brewing or even worse, being a referee who breaks up fights.

You can also try these tips whenever they start fighting:

Hold hands

Whenever you notice your kids fighting, call them to sit together and hold hands till they solve their issues. Before you know it, they’ll laugh and forget that they were fighting.

T-shirt co-operation

The idea is that you simply have an extra-large men’s t-shirt that the kids must wear together until they stop bickering. Older kids can even be made to do chores while crammed within the t-shirt together. While the shirt is on, speak to them about how things work better once they agree to work together (trust me, if they need to try to do anything while wearing one shirt, they have no choice but to work together.)

Job bottle

Think of about a dozen chores. Write them on small strips of paper. Laminate them or cover with tape so that it can’t get mangled. Explain to your kids that each time a fight breaks out they all have to pick a job out from the job bottle. They don’t get to choose, they only grab one. When the squabbling starts, just calmly say, “job bottle.”

Hug it out

One time, I made my kids hug and told them they had to continue to hug each other until they stopped being mad at one another. I found them laughing at their situation because they were physically locked together. After that, ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ would follow.

Give them a problem to solve together

You can try giving your kids a puzzle to solve together to stop them from arguing. When they finish that, give them a harder one. Solving puzzles together encourages them to get along, rely on each other, and help one another.

Finally, it may help to remember that a certain amount of bickering and fighting is normal and even healthy in your children’s relationships with each other. Try some of these ideas and see if one works for you.

Remember, consistency is key. When you find a solution that works for your kids, continue with it. I’m confident that you’ll see a marked improvement in how your children get along.

Do you have any tips to ensure your kids get along? Feel free to share.

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6 Ways To Deal With Sexual Urges In A Celibate Relationship

Self-discipline is one of the biggest test in every relationship, especially one void of intimacy. The truth is Celibacy goes against the grain of bodily desires.As a [young] adult, your body is wired to crave sexual release and the fact that your mind becomes tuned to celibacy does not mean your body will be.

There will be times when it will be nearly impossible to keep the sexual urges under control.

So when you find yourself in situations like this, what doe you do? Here are seven useful tips that could help you out.

1. Don’t dwell on it

It’s impossible to not have flashes of sexual desire every now and then but because you do not want to have sex, you need ways to drown out the thoughts. It’s easier to abstain from what you are not thinking about. So try to not dwell too much on it.

It probably won’t be easy. But it’s what you signed up for.

2. Get busy

Invest yourself into something that requires your time, dedication, energy and all. The busier you are, the easier it will be to get lost in activities and forget about yourself and the urges, even if momentarily.

There’s a reason why they say an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, remember? You have to always use your sense.

3. Guard your space

Keep to the barest minimum anything that will lessen your inhibitions and trigger the desire for sexual contact. Movies, clips, photos, people, etc.

Mind you, spending time with your partner will also sometimes trigger this desire. Your discipline will especially be most tested in these periods.

4. Know when to run

Never trust yourself with dangerous situations. Better avoid the situations than try to stop the action midway through it.

You know what they say; na from clap dance dey start.

Women chatting [Credit: Black New Zone]Women chatting [Credit: Black New Zone]

5. Talk to someone

Yeah, it could be quite awkward to ask one or two married people you know if they waited for sex before marriage.

But then, if you somehow know someone who managed to abstain from sex before tying the knot, talk to him or her. It’d require some kind of close relationship to get to the point of speaking about something as intimate as this but if you’re lucky to have such person, ask them how they did it.

Their solutions could come in handy for you.

6. Discipline

The truth is that none of these things mentioned above will completely, absolutely take away the urges. There can be nothing to take that away as it is a natural phenomenon which, to an extent, even confirms your healthiness.

At some periods it could be quite a real struggle to rein it all in; but then again, putting these urges under control is the very underpinning idea of celibacy and you must have known that before embarking on this kind of relationship. This is why the need for sexual discipline cannot be overemphasized.

Waiting while dating is wholly an exercise in self-discipline and above all other things, this is what you need most. Restraint, discipline, a mental fortitude to keep your eyes on the goal is the most supreme here. Foreplay is very important

7. Will it be worth it in the end?

Never forget to keep asking yourself this question, and reminding yourself of the real reason why you decided to abstain from sex before marriage.

Constantly reminding yourself of this reason will also help keep your urges at bay. It’s like setting a personal target and meeting it.

You’ll be happy with yourself, and feel a sense of pride and satisfaction if you see it through. And again, all struggles you overcome make you stronger, right?

Source: Pulse Ng

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5 Great Ways To Keep Your Mind Active And Healthy In 2021

Very few people enjoy routines, as a matter of fact, humans crave freedom, spontaneity and hate being stuck with routines but no thanks to Covid-19, a lot more people have been forced into routines they wouldn’t want to be in with absolutely no idea how long they will be stuck for.

No doubt, some people no longer look forward to the next day because, you guessed right! There is nothing exciting to look forward to except the usual wake up, have breakfast, attend your Zoom meetings, have lunch, binge-watch Netflix and chill till you fall asleep.

If you fall into that category and you can feel your mental faculties going numb and exhausted from forced schedules, we understand that the mind is the seat of productivity and as such, it has to be healthy and active for it to be productive so we present to you in this article, 5 great and practicable ways to keep your mind active and healthy in 2021.

  1. ART.

Art not only unleashes the inner Leonardo Da Vinci in you but it also is a great way to keep your mind active. Art is a form of creativity and when you create, your mind comes alive and becomes actively involved in the process.

Art is an encompassing word for creativity. Art means different things to different people so you have to find the exact kind of art that appeals to you or even try out art that doesn’t appeal to you – that is the whole idea behind keeping your mind active.

Here are the various forms of art you can engage your mind:

  • Painting: Painting simply is expressing your feelings in colors. We cannot deny that sometimes, words are not enough to express your exact feelings which is where painting comes handy. With a canvas (which can either be a wall, a hard paper that can retain wetness without tearing out) and colors, which can be dry or wet, you can paint a beautiful piece. Paint your favorite scene from a movie, paint a random item in your home. Just experiment with colors and see where it ends.
  • Poetry: You don’t have to be Shakespeare before you can create poetry. All you need is a note, a pen, words and voila! Poetry is born.
  • Drawing: Just like painting, drawing also helps you represent your emotions in pictures. Drawing does not have to be limited to expressing your emotions, you can draw your spouse, your own picture, your phone, just anything at all. Drawing can also be a great way to bond with your significant other while stimulating your mind. A win-win.
  • Music: You can decide to learn to play the piano, the guitar or even learn to sing. There are a plethora of videos on YouTube on how to do that. If you already know how to play, you can stimulate your mind by trying to play unusual pieces, try playing new forms of music. If you play only Rock, try playing Blues, Funk, Reggae and others.
2. READING

Reading is one of the most affordable means to keep your mind active. There are tons of books on the internet that you can read from your device. If reading from your device isn’t your thing, there is a book somewhere on your shelf gathering dust that you have not read because you keep postponing. Pick it up and read it.

Reading fictions help you walk through the book together with the author. It helps you see thing with the eyes of the author. Your mind brings to life every word, description and actions you read in the book.
Read books that are different from your usual genres. Switch from reading motivational and inspirational books to reading biographies and historical books. Your mid will thank you for it.

3. GAMES.

There are different games you can play that can engage your mind. Board games like Chess and Scrabble are a great place to start. Card games, Computer games or even virtual games with friends can stimulate your mind. You can do a zoom virtual game where you give a word and ask them to sing any song containing that word. For example, “Empty” as a word can result in a song like “An empty street, an empty house, a hole inside my heart…” by Westlife. It is a fun game to try out.

4. VIRTUAL CONVERSATIONS.

Thanks to ClubHouse, you can have virtual mind-stimulating conversations with complete strangers in a closed room. All you need is internet and ClubHouse App on your iPhone and you can join any of the room. You can review books, talk about what is trending, play games or just have a conversation about nothing where you can just laugh and have fun.

5. WRITE.

You do not have to be a writer before you can write. You can write your opinion on the latest movie you saw on Netflix. You can write your experiences during this Covid period. You can journal each day. Writing is an exercise that keeps the mind active and healthy at no cost.

 

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