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Esther Ijewere: 8 Ways To Find Hope When You’re Hopeless

When life breaks  you that it seems impossible to ever be healed. However, you were made to overcome and conquer. Here are eight  ways you can find hope when your world gets dark.

  1. Find hope in letting go

Sometimes you need to realize the thing making you feel hopeless really is hopeless. Much of the circumstances of this world are out of your control. When this is the case, the most helpful thing to do is to realize that you can’t change the situation and teach yourself to accept it and let go.

2. Find hope in charity

This one is my best therapy. Serving others works in two ways to help you redevelop hope. First, it gets you outside of yourself and your hopeless feelings by focusing you entirely on someone else and their needs. Second, serving helps you see the world from the perspective of someone less fortunate than yourself, elevating your perspective on your issues.

3. Find hope in prayer

Connecting with a power greater than yourself is key to redeveloping faith. You can find so much peace from the assurance that there is someone greater than you.

4. Find hope in gratitude

Reflecting on all the amazing things in your life makes all the difference when attempting to rediscover hope. When you are desperately hopeless, this can be an enormous challenge. However, with effort, you can discover meaningful and valuable pieces of your life. Make a habit of taking inventory of all your blessings and use it as a way to redevelop hope.

5. Find hope in people

Sometimes you need to lean on other people and that’s fine. Let your friends and family know that you’re struggling and look to them for that light in your life. You will feel better.

6. Find hope in stories

Engaging with uplifting stories does everything to build your hope. Seeing examples of people who were able to make their way out of hard times is an inspiring and powerful tool to redeveloping hope.This is my niche and one of the reasons the women of rubies platform came into existence.

7. Find hope in fun

Sometimes you need to separate yourself from everything that’s bringing you down. Reinvent your life by doing things that make you happy.

8.  Find hope in change

Sometimes the smallest change can make the biggest difference in restoring hope. Make a new friend, take a different route to work or try a new diet. Small changes, even though they may not be related to the source of your hopelessness, make all the difference when rediscovering hope.

 

About Esther

Esther is the  Editor-in-chief of women of rubies, a social  activist, PR expert, Writer, Author and columnist with the Guardian Newspaper.

Twitter & IG : @estherijewere

Facebook: Esther Ijewere

Email: admin@womenofrubies.com

 

 

 

 

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Meet Eloho Omame Gihan-Mbelu, The Woman Helping Entrepreneurs Grow

While working for a growth private equity firm, sourcing great companies and investment opportunities for a global fund  Eloho Omame Gihan-Mbelu came across founders who were building audacious, pioneering companies in Nigeria and who were determined to succeed against all odds.

Unfortunately, the fund she worked for was used to companies that had raised several rounds already or were even post IPO and it was difficult for them to invest in early stage startups, like the ones she found in Nigeria.

But that wasn’t the only thing Eloho found out. She also discovered, from these founders, that their strongest need wasn’t capital, but mentorship and thought-partnership.

She decided to start making small angel investments in Nigeria, and after sometime, she “gained the courage to walk away from a cushy private equity life in London towards better personal mission-alignment,” as she said in Tech Women Lagos, Techcabal’s AUDACITY series which profiled 50 women in the Lagos technology ecosystem from different backgrounds and at different stages of their technology careers.

When she left the private equity firm – General Atlantic – she founded she founded Amari, a proprietary firm focused on working with, and selectively investing in, early stage, innovation-driven companies in Nigeria. Amari conceptualised, designed and launched ‘Lagos Innovates’, a portfolio of startup support programs sponsored and operated by the Lagos State Employment Trust Fund (LSETF).

It was while doing her work with Amari, that she came across the people at Endeavor, an organisation that supports entrepreneurs with potential for economic and social impact in their regions. They wanted to extend Endeavor’s successful model for scaling companies in more more than 30 countries.

Currently, Eloho is leading Endeavor Nigeria‘s operations. At this time, they’re working with 11 companies, including Flutterwave, Cars45, Paga, Filmhouse & FilmOne, Kobo360, among others, supporting the entrepreneurs with access to mentorship, talent and expertise, capital and new markets.

Eloho is a former Head of Corporate Development at First Bank of Nigeria and a former investment banker at Renaissance Capital and Credit Suisse. She holds an MBA from London Business School and an undergraduate degree in Economics from the London School of Economics & Political Science.

We celebrate Eloho for her work in democratising resources needed to succeed in entrepreneurship to founders in Nigeria and we’re rooting for her.

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#RUBYGIRL| Covid Has Taught Me Nothing Is Promised. -Adebimpe Adebara

Amb. Adebara Adebimpe ( Child Safety Advocate) , SRHR coach and a Girl Child Advocate.
Currently, she is the founder and director of “Piece of my Heart Foundation” where she leads a team of volunteers in educating and sensitizing children cum teenagers on sex education to prevent abuse.

She is a skillz girl coach at Youth Empowerment and Development Initiative where she educates adolescent girls about their sexual and reproductive health. She is also volunteer teacher at EduAid, a Global youth Ambassador at “Their World”. Lagos State Youth Ambassador representating Ikeja division at the Lagos State Ministry of Youth and Social Development.

Adebimpe is a graduate of Yaba college of Technology, Lagos. She is a trained child Advocate by Christiana Faith Foundation and Laura kids Foundation U.S.A. She’s also an alumni of Lagos Business school.She shares her Ruby Girl story with the team.

1. Let’s meet you.
Who is Adebimpe?

Adebara Adebimpe (The father’s princess) is a Christian, Graphics and UI/UX designer, sexual and reproductive health coach and a Girl child advocate.

She founded Piece of my Heart Foundation where she leads a team of volunteers in educating and sensitizing children and teenagers on sex education to prevent them from abuse. She is a Skillz girl coach at Youth empowerment and development initiative where she educates adolescent girls about their sexual and reproductive health.

A Global youth ambassador at Their World, Lagos state Youth Ambassador, Girl impact Ambassador, An SDG Youth Advocate.

Adebimpe is a graduate of Yaba college of technology, Lagos. She is a trained child advocate by Christiana Faith foundation and Laura kid’s foundation U.S.A. An alumna of Lagos Business school (Leadership and Non profit Manangement).

“Gender equality is not impossible. When we put women and girls at the centre of economies”

2. What is Piece of my Heart Foundation about?

Piece of my heart foundation is a registered Youth led non-governmental organization, that creates safe space free from violence for children and adolescent providing them with knowledge and information about sex and gender, through sensitization, advocacy, awareness and empowerment. Check us out @Pieceofmyheartng on Instagram and Facebook.

3. What prompted you to start a foundation on Gender Based Violence?

I started the NGO as a result of personal experience and the narrative of most Nigeria children. I was a Victim of child sexual abuse, I believe prevention is better than rehabilitation. Many parents shy away from the topic of sex education which makes it easy for abusers to have their way on children and adolescent. Some end up making wrong decisions because of their ignorance.

“I was a Victim of child sexual abuse, I believe prevention is better than rehabilitation.”

4. Apart from running a Foundation, what other things are you into?

Aside from running Piece of my Heart Foundation, I’m a Grahics designer, I’m also into photography. I’m currently stepping up my design game, I’m learning
UI/UX.

5. How do you relax despite your busy schedule?

Being around my family and friends gisting  with them, surfing the internet and sometimes being alone and gisting with God.

6. What has the Covid-19 pandemic taught you?

COVID-19 has taught me a lot of things one is that “Nothing is Promised,” live everyday like its your last. We all had plans before the pandemic, but immediately it came things changed. At first, I was confused about how to continue my life but it is important to keep in mind that regardless of what happens, life is continuous(until the world finally ends). Giving up shouldn’t be an option. Things may not always go has planned but God is faithful.

7. As a certified Child Safety Advocate, what is your take on the rising issue on rape in the country?

The rising issue of rape is so sad and alarming, especially during the pandemic. The coronavirus outbreak exacerbates existing inequalities for women and girls across every sphere – from health and the economy, to security and social protection. This further informs us that abusers are not strangers but people who are close to us. It is a call to action that we need to do more prevention intervention and also strengthen our crisis management system by domesticating laws that criminalize Sexual and Gender based violence. We also need to hold our lawmakers accountable, all states should adopt the VAPP Act.

8. What made you venture into photography and graphic design?

I studied computer science in school hence, I picked a niche. I was forced to pick Graphics design as I always get disappointed by designers, that pushed me to learning it. I have always loved Photography right from my childhood and I only got the chance to learn after I graduated.

“Many parents shy away from the topic of sex education which makes it easy for abusers to have their way on children and adolescent.”

 

9. If you were to address the United Nations on SDGs 5 (Gender Equality), what would your message be?

Gender equality is not impossible. When we put women and girls at the centre of economies it will place the world back on a footing to achieve the Sustainable Development Goals.The COVID-19 pandemic provides an opportunity for radical, positive action to redress long-standing inequalities in multiple areas of women’s lives, and build a more just and resilient world. A violence free world is everyone’s responsibility. The time for Action is now, as Sexual and Gender based violence is a pandemic.

10. How do you juggle volunteering, photography and graphic designs?

How do I juggle… I set my priority.. Most times I use photography skill and my design skills to volunteer for people. It is not easy doing these things and leading a Nonprofit but with God all things are possible. I also have amazing team members that make life easy.

11. Mention 3 women who inspire you and why?

There are more than three women who inspire me,

1. Mrs Ibukun Awosika, I love the fact that she is a woman breaking boundaries. She inspires me with her love for God and humanity.

2. Anthonia Ojenagbon, she is a survivor of sexual abuse and she is giving other people a chance to be heard. She inspires me so much because of her resilience and her fight for SGBV.

3. Esther Ijewere, a woman with an heart of Gold, she inspires me with her selflessness, humility and doggedness.

12. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

In the next 5 years, I see myself far better than who I’m today, touching lives, breaking boundaries in carrier and in life.
Doing what the Father wants me to do per time.

13. If you were given the opportunity to address a group of girls five years younger than you, what will be your advice to them?

Dear young lady, You’re not too young to start achieving your dreams and never give up on your dreams.
Trust God with your process and never stop building Capacity.

Don’t envy those who are ahead, learn from them. Don’t mock those who are behind, help them. Always remember no one owes you anything, Your personal development is your responsibility. Start now, you will be glad you did.

Your Dreams are valid.

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Josina Machel Seek Justice After Domestic Violence Left Her Blind In One Eye

On the 17th of October, 2015, Josina Machel, the daughter of the first president of Mozambique and a step daughter to Nelson Mandela, was having a disagreement with her partner Rufino Licuco in his car outside of her mother’s home.

It was Josina’s mother’s birthday and they were arguing about how to spend the rest of the day. Josina wanted to spend time with her family.

The disagreement turned violent. Rufino landed three punches—two to the eye, and one to the back of the head—on Josina. Josina had had a transplant on her eye 19 years earlier, and so the punch erupted her cornea and exploded the retina.

Rufino drove her to the hospital, dropped her at the ER, and left her there with a bleeding eye socket. Josina lost her eye.

Since 2015, Josina has been trying to get justice. She sued, and in 2017 Rufino was sentenced to 3 years for domestic violence with grievous bodily harm. But the sentence was suspended and he was allowed to pay a fine.

5 years later, though, neither the jail term, nor the fine, has been served or paid. Instead, Rufino appealed, and the Superior Court of Appeals in Mozambique overturned the 2017 decision, completely acquitting him.

But Josina isn’t giving up in her fight for justice. She’s calling for Justice4Josina and Justice4AllWomxn, saying:

I had placed my trust in the Mozambican justice system, for 5 years, waiting for justice to turn its blind eyes to my gender and convict this man of the crime he has already confessed to. Yet, along with all the women who have joined me in waiting through the years, I have been let down once again.

Let me state unequivocally that I do not accept this judgment overturning Rofino Licuco’s conviction for domestic violence and completely acquitting him. This is not only a let-down for me, but it is creating a dangerous precedent for all women seeking to get legal retribution against those who violate them.

The judgement will not set the dangerous precedent that my aggressor and his institutional enablers intend to. A situation all too familiar for women across the African continent. We are going to fight this. There must justice for all women. By demanding that I provide eyewitnesses to a crime that left me blind in one eye, the court has strengthened my resolve to look out for all other women around me.

Justice for her, she says, is justice for all women.

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#Rubygirls| “Covid Made Me Realise Nothing Is Impossible”- Akinola Blessing

Akinola Blessing Olajumoke is a final year student of Business Administration in Ekiti State University. She is a fashion designer who is very passionate about fashion. Blessing draws her inspiration from singing and dancing.

She shares her “Ruby Girls” story with the team.

1. Let’s meet you. Who is Blessing?

My name is Akinola Blessing Olajumoke, a 400 level Business Administration student from Ekiti state University. I’m also a fashion designer by profession based in Ibadan. I love fashion and all the goodness it can brings.

2. What made you venture into the fashion industry?

It happened a long time ago when I gave my Christmas cloth to a tailor to sew for me but the tailor disappointed me so I had to wait till she was done with the cloth then I saw the process of how she made the cloth. I got home that day then I made up my mind never to be disappointed by any fashion designer again because I’m going to become one myself.

3. Your hobbies and also an accessory you cannot leave home without?

I like singing and dancing a lot even when sewing, I listen to music for inspiration. The accessory I cannot leave home without is my hand bag because I love bags a lot.

4. What are the challenges you faced when you started out as an entrepreneur. Do you still experience them? And also how were you able to overcome them?

Well, there are many challenges one is bound to face as an entrepreneur especially if you’re a fashion designer, as we all know some customers bring styles that are not suitable for their body shape and when they don’t like the outcome it’s something else for the designer. At times they bring fabrics that are not suitable for the design they picked but at the same time you have to make it for them and when it comes to the issue of making payments some clients don’t want to pay but they want something more than they can afford.

Yes I still experience some, I’ve overcome some. I set a standard for myself and that was how I got rid of some of these challenges.

6. Being a student, how have you been able to juggle school work with fashion?

So far so good it has been easy for me because I know where I’m already headed so I did not let being a student distract me from doing what I love the most which is sewing so even if I receive fabrics during my exams I still sew them.

7. What has the Covid-19 pandemic taught you as an individual, brand and business owner?

This pandemic period made me realize that nothing is impossible. While everyone was bored looking for one thing or the other to do, ideas on what to do and how to do them just kept popping in my head. It got to a point, I could not sleep at night because I was always up thinking of what next to be done.

8. Do you have any role model in the fashion industry? If yes, who?*

For now I am looking up to myself.

9. What are the challenges young Nigerian entrepreneurs face? How can it be mitigated?*

Inability to take risks and lack of moral support are some of the challenges young entrepreneurs face in Nigeria, some don’t even know much about the business before venturing into it.

Live and let’s live is a popular saying and I think if we should start supporting each other’s business no matter how small the business is may change people’s view about entrepreneurship, then we should learn to take risks no matter how big it is.

10. Apart from fashion designing, what other things are you involved in?

Nothing for the time being.

11. One thing you’ll like to change about yourself.*

Nothing for now.

12. Mention 3 women who inspire you and why?*

My mom,she was the one that supported my dream of becoming a fashion designer.
My elder sister, her fashion sense was what inspired me as a young designer.

My school mother (omma), her will to survive in any situation she finds herself is a whole bag of inspiration. I look up to her as a role model.

13. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

I see myself where God wants me to be, because only him knows tomorrow regardless of man’s plan or where he think he’ll be cause Man proposes God disposes.

14. If you were given the opportunity to address a group of girls five years younger than you, what will be your advice to them?

Well my advice to them will be for them to focus on whatever good things they have in mind and no matter how difficult the road to success may look or be they should not give up until they achieve their set up goals.

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#Covid19: Nollywood Actress, Omotola Ekeinde Shares Experience, Reveals She Infected Her Children

Nollywood actress, Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde has shared her coronavirus experiences after confirming that she tested positive.

She added that she infected her children with the viral disease.

The 42-year-old actress made this known on the popular filmmakers’ WhatsApp group, Filmic, while reacting to the debate on how Nollywood can adhere strictly to the health guidelines of COVID-19, before reopening productions on Saturday.

She also said that she was treated by some infectious decease doctors who told her that many people are infected with the virus.

The actress further revealed that she infected her daughter and her asthmatic son with the disease but luckily her husband’s test came back negative.

According to the screen diva, “her world crashed and she felt crazy and empty when her test came back positive.

“I hardly fall ill and so when I left the set and started having chills the next day or so, I knew something wasn’t right. I thought it might be stress.

“This was on Monday, August 3. I waited till Tuesday and it got worse.

“I was shaking uncontrollably and my temperature was going through the roof.

“My spirit told me immediately, this is not malaria or fever and I have been extremely careful and paranoid about this COVID-19 stuff.

“So I told hubby I needed to be tested immediately because I also have a son that has Asthma!

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“They came to test me on Wednesday and my result came out on Thursday evening Positive.

“My world crashed. I felt crazy and empty.

“My symptoms were high fever and chills, luckily no other.

“But it was so bad, they contemplated coming to evacuate me as my viral load was high and I wasn’t getting better but God arose for me.

“I went into isolation immediately. We got my result but my daughter started feeling funny.

“So they had to come test the whole family.

“I had infected my daughter and asthmatic son!

“Fortunately, my God showed up for me as my son is asymptotic, so positive but not sick.

“However, my daughter lost her sense of smell and taste and had severe diarrhea but all has stopped now, thank God.”

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5 Reasons Why You Should Not Give Up on Love

Looking for love is an exciting adventure. You get to meet new people, go out and have fun dates, and maybe, just maybe, meet the love of your life.

But dating can also be a huge bummer, and there are times when the journey is more frustrating than fun, especially as you get older. Instead of focusing on having an enjoyable night out, you’re wondering why you can’t seem to find Mr. or Ms. Right.

To get a great relationship, you have to be willing to put in the work. But what should you do when you feel yourself giving up on love?

Don’t let your desire for love burn out! Here are six reasons you shouldn’t give up on love.

1. Love Teaches Lessons

Going through another failed relationship can be a frustrating, heartbreaking, and depressing experience. But remember that timing is everything. Just because that love is over doesn’t mean love is over for you.

Instead of viewing your failed relationships as wastes of time, make a list of everything you learned from that relationship.

Perhaps you learned how to talk about your feelings and be vulnerable with someone else, and maybe you learned that looks aren’t everything.

If the relationship was a toxic one, maybe you learned that you’re stronger than you think.[1] Maybe you learned what you don’t want and will not tolerate in your future relationships.

Whatever the case may be, take the lessons that love gives you and treasure them.

2. You Have the Time to Grow

Your single years are all about learning who you are and growing from each experience you go through.

If your ultimate goal is to get married, why not use this time to grow and develop skills and traits that would make you a great husband or wife?

For example:

  • Can you cook?
  • Do you have a job?
  • Can you handle your finances well?
  • Do you have your own house/apartment?
  • Are you patient?
  • Do you know how to express your feelings well?
  • Do you have selfish tendencies?

These are better than simply giving up on love. Now is the time to do some self-exploration and work out who you want to be for yourself, your friends, family, and your future partner.

3. Now Is the Time for You

There is no better time to be a little selfish with your pursuits, energy, and focus than while you are single. Now is the time for you to take strides toward your dream career, to travel, and to focus on your social life.

Of course, you can still do these things when you are in a relationship, but love has the potential to be limiting.

There’s no doubt that it’s worth it, but you can’t travel the world for months on end when you’re helping your partner pay a mortgage or raising a family. At least, you can’t do it as easily as you would when you are single.

Friendships are also important. These are the people who have supported you through every good and bad decision you’ve ever made. They were your shoulder to cry on when your relationships ended, and your dates ended up being duds.

Use this time as an excuse to focus on yourself and find out who you are when you aren’t part of a “We.”

Not only will this be good for your mental health and personal growth, but your confidence in yourself will also be incredibly appealing to your future partner.

4. You Deserve More Than Settling

If you want to find real love, you must be willing to stick it out for your perfect person instead of settling! When you wait to find that perfect person for you, you ensure that your personalities will gel.

Finding real love is about:

  • Spending quality time together
  • Learning the art of communication
  • Sharing similar goals and beliefs (though- they say opposites attract!)

Finding real love is also about finding someone you’re attracted to, who makes you laugh, and respects you.

If you haven’t found that yet, then why settle? You deserve the best relationship possible, so don’t give up on love yet. If it takes waiting a little while longer to find someone who hits all the checkmarks on your list, why not wait?

5. Things Worth Doing Are Rarely Easy

Think about it. The best things in life – the things that make you feel accomplished, proud of yourself, and inspired to do better are always difficult;

Getting a degree, running with endurance, getting fit/losing weight, breaking a bad habit, learning something new like scuba diving or how to speak another language…

These are all things that take time to accomplish, but you feel so satisfied when you’ve completed that challenge.

The same can be said for finding the right relationship. Deciding to wait for someone who fulfills you instead of dating the first person who asks all because you’re lonely takes strength.

It takes courage to break up with someone you love but who is ultimately bad for you. It takes effort to be patient. But you’ll be glad that you did.

Final Thoughts

Finding love isn’t always easy. It can be discouraging and may even feel like a full-time job sometimes – but don’t give up!

Resilience is the key to finding love. Enjoy the journey and focus on self-care and personal growth and absorb the lessons each relationship and each new date has to teach.

Source: Lifehack.org

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“Deafness Almost Robbed Me Of A Life Full Of Joy And Happiness”- Taibat Fasakin

One of the most marginalized and overlooked set of people in the world are persons living with disability, they usually have to advocate for their rights at different sectors. The world is not complete without us including them into our plans, policies, advocacy and projects. Taibat is one of those fighting for the inclusion of people living with disability.
Queen Fasakin Taibat  Janet ( Nee Mohammed) is the CEO of Ability Plus Initiative. She was the former Beauty Queen ( Miss Philanthropy  Central Africa). She is the the first Miss Deaf Nigeria. Queen Janny, as she is fondly referred to by her fans, went to Irepondun Nursery and Primary School and Ahmadiyya Grammer School, both in Ogbagi Akoko, Ondo stste, for her primary and secondary education respectively.
Queen Janny later proceeded to Federal College of Education (Special ), Oyo to study Computer Science Education/Education of learners with hearing impairment. Upon the completion of her NCE  programme,  she got an admission to University of Ilorin,  Kwara state to read Educational Media and Technology.
She is a leader of repute in many associations and organizations that she had either founded. She has also made numerous outstanding contributions to those she had joined. She is a Women Leader in Abuja Association of the Deaf and Treasurer for South West Association of the Deaf.
Queen Janny is the coordinator of the renown Most Beautiful Deaf Girl in Nigeria (MBDGN). She is also the initiator of the popular Ability Plus TV programme on NTA. An Honourable Member of Nigeria  Disability People Parliament, Queen Janny achieved her dream of working with NTA a couple of years back. She currently works with NTA Headquarters on Disability issues.
With her position as a NTA ,  she has produced many educational news on the national television and on Startime called Ability Plus Focus, where challenges faced by Persons with Disabilities (PWDs) in Nigeria are addressed.
Janet is the Coordinator of Miss Deaf Nigeria and she has been doing extremely well. She organised the first ever Miss Deaf Nigeria pageant.
As the CEO of Ability Plus Initiative and Abuja Association of the Deaf Women Leader, she has done a lot to coach, train and admonish Deaf women in many issues pertaining to their development and survival. She also host an Online Programme on Rape for Deaf community to be aware of happenings around them
She shares her inspiring story with Women of Rubies in this Interview

Growing Up

Like any other child, who dreamt of a beautiful future and live for each day to bring goodness, I had the same. But little did I know that life  will offer me another dimension and another world that I entirely don’t have any idea of. Growing up was good and beautiful, at an early age, I had been leading in my class as the class captain and each term I always was first in class. Until one fateful day, when I woke up and couldn’t even stand, my body was hotter than fire, initially, my sister thought I was faking it until it got so serious. When my mother arrived from market, she had to rush me to hospital where I was admitted and from my minor illness a lot of money was spent, properties were lost. The fact is that my mother could go to any length to lose everything but not her child, so she was so determined to make me recover at any cost. After many attempts to get better and no improvement they had to seek a natural healer, Although, I was getting better, but not very well as I  managed to eat little and sit at the same time.

I woke up one day, and felt that the rain that has been raining for the past three days has to stop as the noise was disturbing my ears, so I asked my mother why the rain has refused to stop for the past three days. My mother was taken aback, she asked which rain was I talking about, and I responded by making the rain’s noise “Ruu Ruu Ruu.” My mother replied, “No rain, nothing like rain at all.” She opened the curtain for me to take a peep outside, lo and behold, it was sunny. Then I realized my life had taken another dimension, I couldn’t hear anything again except the vibrating noise in my head. With every day passing in my life, it has become something I have to ignore in my brain, although it was never easy. That’s how my Journey in the deaf world began. My life changed, my dreams collapsed, and I had to adapt to deafness. It was a battle I fought and was determined to win. Deafness came and decided to rob me of a life full of joy and happiness I had planned for myself, but glory be to God that I have supportive sisters and a mother who stood with me to motivate me and give me a reason to live irrespective of my disability. And today as I have grown up to be the lady I aspired to be I know it’s all God’s will for me. Where there is a will, there is a way. I found my way to what prepared me to this today. I am deaf, beautiful, classy, bold, and I’m succeeding, although I have not achieved my desired goals, but I am on the right track. To God be the glory.

Inspiration behind  Ability Plus Initiative

After I became deaf, I couldn’t relate well with my peer group, I was shunned, ignored and packed to a corner like a pack of cards. The Intelligent class captain Janet is now a deaf; a nonentity that no one wants to get close to, I was despised, and it hurt.

However, I was determined to live my life to the fullest and I didn’t allow the negative mindset of what the society said about me to distract me from achieving my goal. This neglect and exclusion from the people and society who should have given me a sense of belonging pushed me to want to do something to push for the inclusion of persons with disabilities in the society. There were times I would be watching TV drama and I see family and friends laughing hysterically and I would ask in my desperate attempt to understand what was  happening, they would tell me “it’s nothing, don’t worry, it’s not important.” It was so painful, I also wanted to laugh and understand, but I was deprived of this right to information. Sad. Then as I kept living and building myself, I came to understood that not even the larger community take any cognizance to understand our needs, especially the deaf community that depends largely on a sign language interpreter. It was at my service year in NYSC at the Ministry of Information and Culture that I started educating a few people in my office on sign language and the need to strengthen the sign language advocacy for the deaf at the Press Centre where I made CD in sign language and sign language T-shirts for free, and give it out to staff at the Press Centre.This helped me to get recommendations at NTA to start teaching sign language on NTA.

Prior to this, I wanted to be the Voice for the Deaf and an advocate for Persons With Disabilities on Information Access and Entertainment for Persons with Disabilities. Then I  initiated Ability Plus Initiative.

About Ability Plus Initiative: The world today has witnessed tremendous changes and these changes have their own influence upon humans which includes Persons With Disabilities (PWDs). Many a times, Persons With Disabilities stand a greater risk of falling  prey to the menace these changes cause. In Ability Plus Initiative, we recognize these problems and are powered by the drive to build a society where Persons With Disabilities have quality access to basic necessities that will help build their world and fit into the society. With a solid team of like minds, we work systematically using our core value tools as a solid strategy for achieving set goals. We are motivated by our belief that everyone has a right to the best possible way of life regardless of their disability. We work to become a catalyst for transformation and growth for PWDs through our various outlined programs and projects. We believe that PWDs should be recognized and celebrated. Warren Schmidt once said that “the land of opportunity is an attitude. It is opened to new ideas; a willingness to learn; an eagerness to listen; a desire to grow; and the flexibility to change.” I want you all reading this to Join us as we help PWDs to experience the true essence of this life.

Our Vision: Bridging the gap of inequality and discrimination against Persons With Disabilities.

Our Mission: To build an unending relationship with the society in manners that take into cognizance the abilities of PWDs through our core values.

Our Goal and Objectives: PWDs making positive impacts wherever they go; and the society identifying with these impacts for equal growth drive in our society. We are open for partnerships. Welcome to API world.

How has the journey been since you started?

I must say, it has not been easy. The journey started three years ago, and we have been pushing and trying to ensure we get reliable partners and sponsors, but I tell you it was a big hurdle to overcome. This is because somehow the Voice of the Deaf cannot be heard like her other hearing counterparts, thereby making it so hard for me. A light support I got is to organize program for Persons With Disabilities, mentor them and give them a short time support. Our long term and sustainable support has not so far been met because of lack of partners and sponsors to come forward to help us make this great idea of mine a reality so we can join hand together and say, “Yes, we did this for Persons With Disabilities.”

Our Services includes but are not limited to:

  1. Promote ethics and value orientation for PWDs through community relations and various media platforms.
  2. Persons with Disabilities Citizens’ Rights Advocacy
  3. Grassroots Reorientation.
  4. Provide enhancement projects and empowerment opportunities for PWDs.
  5. Promote and support the recognition of PWDs bravery, socioeconomic participations, and innovative ideas.
  6. Organize programs, seminars, workshops, trainings and events that reflect on our seven spheres of focus.
  7. Co-operate and partner with other organizations and individuals within and outside Nigeria with the intent to encourage generational change and support the wholesome beauty embodied in PWDs.

Our intended projects include:

  1. The Ability Award
  2. Ability Studio
  3. Ability Entrepreneurship Hub.

Granted we get partners and sponsorship for one or two of these projects, it will not only change the lives of PWDs, it will beautify their lives as it’s a lifetime project that provide job opportunities and teach them skills. Reaching this milestone of idea has not been easy, but one day, with the support of you and I, we will look back and praise God.

You are the first Miss Deaf Nigeria, tell us about that phase of your journey?

Seven years ago, I saw Miss Deaf World on Facebook, I also saw Miss Deaf International, and I got inspired by what I saw, so I reached out to one of my mentors who told me there was an established Most Beautiful Deaf Girl in Nigeria on ground where I can easily showcase the beauty and culture of deaf women in Nigeria. It was not strong back then as it was still in its embryonic stage. So I got in touch with the initiator of the organization and we got along well.  In 2016, since there was no fund to organize Miss Deaf Nigeria, I was then selected to represent Miss Deaf World in Czech Republic, 2016. Despite all of our efforts, we didn’t get any sponsor. The dream just died like that, but I knew within me; one day, my dream will come to reality. In effort to pursue my dream, as I love fashion and modelling, in 2017, I applied to contest on the platform of Miss Philanthropy Africa Initiative, the first ever beauty pageant that didn’t discriminate against PWDs. I was enrolled, taught and groomed on that platform, and I contested with 8 other hearing contestants. Lo and behold, my performance, although deaf, won the heart of many and I won and was crowned  Miss Philanthropy Central Africa 2017/2018 Region. There and then, my focus and project was to help the less privileged and persons with disabilities. I also wanted to focus by using my title as an advantage to raise money for Most Beautiful Deaf Girl in Nigeria. I was given a go ahead and the CEO of Most Beautiful Deaf Girl in Nigeria almost lost interest as she had wasted a lot of money on fruitless efforts to build the platform. So she gave me the full authority, and presented all official duties and files to me and in 2018 I become Coordinator for Most Beautiful Deaf Girl in Nigeria.

You are also the Coordinator of MBDGN, what inspired you to kick off the initiative?

Like I mentioned earlier, the desire to be a voice to the voiceless runs in me, I aspired to be a queen and a model. There have been a number of pageantry spread all over the place, the first question one should ask is how many of these pageants are tolling the path of humanity? Another known fact is the inability of a Deaf girl to participate in these numerous pageant no matter how beautiful and intelligent. Even though among these deaf people are ladies and men of intellect and extreme beauty, a fact that the developed countries has capitalized on to promote specialized Deaf Pageants. It’s interesting to know that Deaf Pageant have been going on in the world for close to three decades now without Nigeria’s participation, a development that can no longer be allowed to continue. It is on this note that I have decided to take the bull by the horn; along with MBDGN team to organize the first ever Miss & Mr. Deaf Nigeria Pageant as our first step of preparation towards participating in Miss Deaf Word in Czech Republic, and Miss Deaf International. In November 2019, we were able to organize the first ever Miss Deaf Nigeria on the platform of Most Beautiful Deaf Girl in Nigeria Initiative, and Miss Maria Okese of River State emerged Winner of Miss Deaf Nigeria. We plan to attend Miss Deaf World in Czech Republic in 2021, and hopefully we will get good sponsors to be able to attend and also find partners to host Miss Deaf Nigeria 2021. We hope and believe this will open many people’s eyes to the fact that not even our disabilities can gun us down. We are able, we are beautiful and in our imperfections, we are talented and passionate just like everyone else.

Do you think the society is well informed on how to treat people living with disability, especially deaf people?

I don’t even know what to say, but honestly speaking, we Persons With Disabilities have really tried on part of advocacy and information. For good 16years we have been advocating for the Passage of Disability Bill to be passed into law, and fortunately for us, President Buhari signed the Bill into law in 2019. It’s a whole lot of freedom for us, but sadly with the passage of the law in full force, things are still the same, implementation has not fully taken effect. Nigeria has not fully grabbed this law to better our lives, a lot are still lagging behind, many workplaces like banks, hospitals, and firms are still making the physically challenged —wheelchair users— suffer, many places are not accessible; including hospitals.

For us, it’s worse, many TV and radio house are deaf to our cry to make information accessible by having sign language interpreter on their screen and or make use of Captioning. Only NTA, where I work, is the only Inclusive TV station in Nigeria. The blind are also not left behind in this hard hit, so who do we blame? It’s the society that doesn’t want to listen to us. In conclusion the society is well informed but has decide not to take action, maybe when we start dragging them to court for violating our rights, they will start to do the right things.

What are some of the challenges you experience as a disability advocate?

I’m  losing count of those challenges. The most pressing ones include:

  1. Discrimination arising from or during communication.
  2. Societal segregation: It is assumed that we have no ability to do things, let alone to do better or even contribute to national development. Note that there are deaf lawyers, deaf doctors, and deaf professors amongst us. I’m not the most successful deaf person; there are a lot of us but because we can’t speak, the society decided to shut the only voice we have —our abilities. They don’t believe in us. The society needs to stop looking down on us. I was first human before I turned deaf. So, let us love and value everyone, irrespective of their disability, because no one knows what tomorrow holds.
  3. Marginalization: Sometimes I was treated with disdain. I was ignored and shunned as soon as people knew I am deaf. For instance, I attempted several times to participate in beauty pageants but was rejected time and time again when they knew I am deaf.

Everyone loves me, says I’m beautiful and even clap for me. But once I make a sign that I am deaf all that they have acknowledged vanishes and gets replaced with sympathy and marginalization. Should I start pretending to hide my disability and pretend to be who I am not? That’s not me! This is why I work tirelessly to ensure that the Miss and Mr Deaf Nigeria pageant became a reality to show who we are, what we are capable of and to appreciate ourselves. Sometimes, you have to sing and listen to your own song before others will. I Believe in myself; that’s what matters to me as an advocate and I am positive that one day all I aspire to be shall come be realized because God has my back.

Mention 3 women who inspire you to be better and why?

  1. My dear mother: Mrs Anike Olajumoke Saka My Day 1 supporter. She inspired me to work hard, she instilled in me to wear my scar with pride, she was never ashamed of me being her deaf daughter. She was so proud of me and always protect me, she is a praying mother. When I forget to pray, she was my guardian angel, whom God has sent behind and in front of me to shield me from evil. She is the Jesus on earth for me. The love of a mother is so priceless. Because of this woman, I am still standing on my two legs working hard to ensure she eats the fruits of her labour on me. My Mother. My Pride. I love her so much. ki iku mase pa aalaanu mi. (Amin).
  2. My three sisters: The aro meta lehin mi.(The three stars behind me). They are ferocious, fierce but loving sisters, they inspired me to work as a team. I learnt from them that teams fight, but, find grounds to resolve it. They are my push, the beating of my life I get from them (LOL). This inspired me to be so strong and pursue the path that will send me on a journey to have self-control. Their much nagging made me run and hide and do things independently, today I get my inspiration from them to be me, and never allow anyone or anything stop me from grabbing my dream. They made me realized I should stand for my rights anywhere any place. To the best sister ever who joined hands to make my wedding the talk of town; wherever you may be: Thank you Aunty Silifat Apalowo, Aunty Kuburat Omolola and Aunty Fausat Akintomide. I love you!
  3. Hajia Hamza Jamilah: She is my mentor, my number one push in Disability advocacy. A woman with a good Heart, soft spoken and so understanding. But if I made a mistake, she will ensure I realize it, she does not pretend, she is so real. For all you do, for me, for the Deaf community, I say thank you. She was the success behind Miss Deaf Nigeria, with her networks and recommendations, we got support. May you keep being light to lighten people’s darkness and may your light never go dim. I love you mentor.

Being a woman of Rubies

I have passed through a lot in life and I’ve learnt that the only way to stay down is to look down on oneself, lack belief and confidence and to be narrow-minded. So for me, I have established a higher purpose —to live to help others, look beyond myself and challenges and focus on the opportunities I can create for others. I consider my abilities are strong enough to a point that I believe deafness is an ability. What if I wasn’t deaf?

These qualities made me extraordinary, a woman of rubies and more; a woman who against all odds is making impact and changing the narrative. The best of me is yet to come!

In view of the pandemic, could you share some nuggets on safety measures for persons with disability

The COVID-19 pandemic poses a severe risk to the health and well-being of individuals with disabilities. Here are some tips for my fellow PWDs to take:

  1. Wash your hand with soap and water regularly.
  2. Use your face mask as much as possible when in public.
  3. Maintain a distance of about 6ft.
  4. Cover your mouth in case you want to cough, use disposable toiletries.
  5. For the blind and mobility aids, it’s advisable to use hand gloves.
  6. Chew Vitamin C.

Alot of people are not well informed about “Deafness”, please shed some light on how to support such persons, and how to spot one.

Deafness is an hidden disability, and we are the most marginalized group ever, because people do not see our disability, but the sound in our head is what we have to cope with daily and you all cannot understand. It’s not easy I tell you. Sometimes, people will want to call us, then they throw stones at us, it’s very wrong and unacceptable. Meet us and call us or send someone to call us if we are far from you. Throwing an object at us is bad. Also it’s a bad idea to tell you that I’m deaf and you start raising eyebrow and say “Sorry.” Sorry for what? I am not an object of sympathy. There is no need to pity me, I am OK. The best way to support and interact with us is to learn our sign language, even if it’s just A to Z, or simply using the shape of a heart to say ‘I love you’. Please, do that so you can make them smile. We will feel appreciated and have a sense of belonging. Alternatively, writing will ensure proper information is passed across. Also try and believe in Deaf People, they are intelligent and can do many things except hearing.

We have people that can hear that are beggars. That has not made all the “hearing world” beggars, same goes to the Deaf. Some deaf people are beggars, but majority of us are well to do and hardworking. So believe in us, support our initiative and be a part of the voice to the voiceless. We need each other. God bless you!

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“I Washed Clothes And Fried Akara Before Starting My Liquid Soap & Cream Venture- Moni Akinwale

Someone once said you have to be dogged to match up the energy of a Nigerian woman who is determined to win at life, I totally agree, and this is the message behind Moni’s story; resilience, hope, and goal getting spirit.
Moninuola Akinwale Juliana is a mother of six Children (one of them being a special needs child) who currently caters for the family. She has a National Diploma Degree in Accounting and Auditing.  She opened a low income school, Brighter Joy Nursery and Primary School in 2002, which was located in Mushin. Because of the many responsibilities on her as the primary breadwinner in the family, she wasn’t able to continue to pay the rent for the school. It folded up in 2016. She had to let go of the 78 pupils in her school.
After her school packed up, she started washing clothes for whoever needs her service. She got paid anything they offered. She also did other odd jobs to make ends meet. When she came to The Wivesroundtable Foundation in March 2019, we saw her enthusiasm and decided to give her a chance at something better.
The Wivesroundtable Foundation set up a yam/potatoes frying business for her. She was taught how to run the business, how to fry and how to make the tomato sauce.  In less than 2 months, she was talking about expansion.
She had dreams of having a proper canteen and was already working towards it. She had set a target to start a canteen 3 months after she started the frying business. She was going to run the 2 together – fry in the morning and afternoon and cook rice in the evening. She had it all planned out before misfortune struck.
The woman (an Aunty) who gave her a space to do her frying business, saw how well she was doing and suddenly decided that she wanted to start frying yam/potatoes too! And so Moni should leave the position she gave her.
Moni begged and begged, the woman was adamant. So Moni had to leave. Today, she makes petroleum jelly, liquid soap, hair cream and candles for sale.  Moni is a definition of drive, resilience, gratitude and a determination to keep moving. She has been hit by so many things but she remains committed to putting food on her family’s table.
She shares her Inspiring story in this interview with Esther Ijewere

Growing up

Yes, my childhood prepared me for what I do now. This is because I lived with my aunty when I was a child. She taught me how to be hardworking. Although I used to think she was just making me suffer for nothing. She was also a teacher. I believe that living with her influenced my decision to become a teacher too. The things I learnt from her led me to opening my own school before it folded up.  I went to Oye Nursery and Primary school in Lagos. Then I gained admission to Eko Girls High School in Isolo. After that, I went to Kwara State Polytechnic, where I had my National Diploma.

Inspiration behind my  jelly and liquid soap business

I got the opportunity to learn how to make Jelly for skin,  hair cream and liquid soap  when my aunty asked me to join her in the training. She was going to learn how to make them and she asked that I come along too. I didn’t have a job after I graduated in the polytechnic, and I saw it as an opportunity to empower myself with this skill while I wait to get a job. I also thought that, it would be nice to make some money by the side even after I get a job. But right now, after everything went down, my school, my food business, I decided to go back to that skill I invested time to learn and that’s what I earn the majority of my money from right now.  My major inspiration for starting this business is to be able to put food on the table for my family and to teach other women so they can contribute to their families too.

The Journey so far

I thank God. I have no regret. It has not been so easy but I just have to keep pushing. I have children to feed.

Washing clothes, Frying akara, being an Entrepreneur, and how it shaped my journey

I appreciate this handwork. The different experiences have taught me that, as long as I do not give up, things can get better. Life is a journey, and we can never predict what will happen to us or what our future holds.

Being a mom, wife and business woman, and managing it all

I do production three days in a week and use the remaining days for family and with the help of my children, we distribute the things I have produced. They also join me in labeling the production. Since I work from home, I’m able to spend more time with them.

The society  and  Female breadwinners

Women should continue to support their husband and try to keep it from the children. Don’t make it too obvious that you are the one carrying the family financially. Especially if you have a supportive husband who is also trying his best. I think the society does not have to know anyone is the breadwinner. It also should not determine how one is treated in the society.

To women walking in my shoes

They should focus on God and their hand work. God will lead them up.

Challenges of being  an entrepreneur

Money is my biggest challenge. I want my products to be known across different states in Nigeria, not just in my locality. I want my business to scale up and not remain small. I am very hardworking but I have little funds to expand my business.

Wivesroundtable Foundation & It’s impact on my journey

I feel grateful. They always stand by me even when things are tough. I can never forget them throughout my life.

3 women who inspire you to be better and why

Number one is Amaka Chibuzo-Obi, the founder of The Wivesroundtable Foundation. She is a hardworking woman who gathers women together in other to empower them. I appreciate her so much. I see how she stands by women. I am inspired to make lives of women better too.

Mrs. Awolumate . She is the one who trained me with the skills I currently have. She has really inspired me. She is really hardworking.

Mrs. Bolaji who is my mother. My father died when I was about nine years old and she made sure her children did not suffer.

There are so many women in undeserving communities who need support, what advice would you give such women?

I would say they should never take opportunities for granted no matter how little they might seem.

Being a Woman of Rubies

My hard work and my faith in God makes me a woman of rubies. I am also contented with what I have

The pandemic and its effect on my  business

This pandemic really affected my business. Prices of things have gone up in the market. Raw materials are more expensive and customers won’t buy if I increase my prices. So I tell at the same old prices in other to retain my customers.

Support my business

I would like to ask people to patronize my business. Buy liquid soap, hair cream and body cream from me. My products are fantastic. They are of good quality and they smell nice. You can order by calling me on 07014331880.

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Colourful Hope International Empower Grassroot Women With Start-Up Fund

Colourful Hope International(CHI) is a nongovernmental, nonprofit organisation working assiduously in line with the sustainable development goal 1 (SDG) to eradicate poverty through empowerment programs for all and sundry.
The female gender globally has been described to be an under empowered and endangered specie.
 In Africa, women are often exposed to all forms of harsh and unpalatable working conditions.
We believe that where there is hope, the mind will see possibilities which leads to growth and empowerment.
Empowering women means empowering the world.
At CHI we are committed to change the narratives of menial jobs to decent jobs which will in turn lead to economic growth in line with SDG goals 8.
We also stand to eradicate poverty through empowerment (training, funding and support) programs ,this we believe that an empowered woman and youth is equipped to replicate same in others.
We have come to realise that a large percentage of out of School children and street urchins are products of economically disadvantaged women who could barely fend for themselves thus they push their kids out to survive on their own.
These inturn causes insecurity and societal threat.
CHI has been around since 2019, We have empowered over 10 women with funding with which they are now doing fabulously well. We have also trained 12 girls in the art of fashion designing all at no cost.
The foundation was officially inaugurated in August 2020. The inauguration was a colourful event held at St. Sanyaolu Hotel Dalemo Ota. Ogun state Nigeria on the 13th of August 2020. It was well attended by the creme and average people in the society. It was inaugurated by Mrs Morenike Ogunnowo FCA , Director of Finance Honda Manufacturing Ltd. The inaugural lecture was delivered by Prince Uzomma Omenihu, Founder Caring Beyond Borders Foundation. Dr. Keshinro, HOD department of Business Administration Crawford University, who was represented by Dr. Gbenga Ogunlusi. Mr. Tolu Ogunyemi MBA, who represented International Breweries Foundation Kickstart foundation among many other dignitaries.
The event also witnessed the empowerment 5 women with expansion and/or start up fund. This we believe will go a long way in taking them off the current hardship that they are experiencing in making ends meet.
Our current capacity is not enough to reach more women and youths. Some of the girls we have empowered with skills needs start up fund and equipment to truly be fully empowered enough to replicate same in others which is our central aim.
Taking these women off the road means they should be established in small ventures that has tendencies to grow into stable and viable businesses.
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