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#Interview | ‘Be Careful Not To Be The Problem You Are Trying To Solve For Others’- Victoria Nwanna Ndu

In an interview with Women of rubies below, she shares her story;
Victoria

Childhood Influence

While growing up as a child, I always knew I wanted to be influential. I was very agile and active as a child.
As little as I was in primary school I knew I wanted to study accounting.
I never fancied other professions like being a doctor, lawyer, nurse etc. People said it was because my dad is an accountant… Maybe.

While n secondary school, I was so good at writing. English was my best subject. I loved talking so it wasn’t any news I joined the press club. Fast forward to my SS1 my junior secondary English teacher Mrs Obimma having heard I was going to the commercial arm called me alongside two other teachers. She was heartbroken that I decided to pursue accounting. Why not law? Mass communication? What is wrong with you? I want to talk to your parents! Blah blah blah! My mind was made up a long time ago… As regards profession it was only accounting I saw.
Just to inform you though I never liked maths or account! So what was the biggie? Why the interest in accounting?
Let’s reverse to my primary/early secondary school days.
I love(d) talking and writing. I had the voice and the aura while presenting speeches.
I remember I always picked my dad’s newspaper and pretended to be the newscaster…Oh how I enjoyed it!
I remember holding my hands as the mic and introducing my self. I just spoke(whether it made sense or not but I’m sure it did make sense😉) I hosted all the events at my children church, I anchored news in my school.

But I still wanted accounting as a profession! It was the perfect profession I thought. I didn’t want to put on white coats like the doctors, or wear a robe like the lawyers, and gloves like the engineers. I wanted to wear suit! As little as I was I admired great ladies and knew I could be one, I termed it as ‘boss lady’

I have lost counts of how many times I imagined myself in an executive office. Ngozi Okonji was one of my models.
So despite my not so strong love for maths I opted for accounting because of my childhood desire to be a boss(well as a child I thought bankers and accountants were cool😂😂)

But! I also wanted to talk! Be on TV, inspire people… When I got to secondary school I always wanted to see YOUths do things right, I was Miss adviser.

It’s amazing how far I have come from my desires and dream as a child till now.
How by bits I have started playing out my dreams.
Clarity isn’t gotten in a day! I stand in awe each day and a lot about what I only thought as a child without even knowing how is coming to play.
My dreams are valid, Rome wasn’t built in a day so I will keep moving.

Yes,this is me VICTORIA NWANNA, an ‘accountant by profession’ but a ‘boss lady’ by inherent nature with or without the accounting profession, inspiring others and living purpose. It’s all adding up! Also,I don’t believe I have wasted four years studying accounting it is all instrumental to my build up (although I ‘might’ not use this certificate)Please don’t tell my dad Godwin Nwanna (hahaha) My childhood dreams and plays is all turning out for real. In my book Life’s colour I shared some practical steps I took in turning my dreams to reality https://thevictorianwanna.com/shop/

GET UP YOUTH AFRICA and Life As An Executive Director 

Get Up Youth Africa is a non-profit youth organisation focused on building a generation of changemakers and African leaders who would champion sustainable growth in Africa. Via our three-fold mandate (to Inspire, Ignite Imagination and Provoke Right Action for sustainable nation building), we are establishing avenues for young people to proactively engage in personal and community development to fight unemployment through Quality Education (SDG4), create a positive environment for Decent Work and Economic Growth (SDG8) and End Poverty (SDG1).

We have executed several projects, the project pad a girl, our girl child empowerment where we trained over 1500 young girls on purpose passion, sex education and financial literacy. We have also taught 700 of them on digital skills in partnership with girl lead Africa and other facilitators in Benin City. We launched the skill Up Academy Last year where we empowered over 700 youths in relevant digital skills like website design, presentation and communication, brand communication, project management and 12 more skills, we partnered with facebook and JCI. Recently we launched our secondary school tour Not Too Young To Make Sense project -This programme is committed to crusading and championing self and purpose discovery, intentional career choices. It is designed to provide the teenagers with the knowledge, skills and network required to effectively lead their lives at young age through our mentorship, career fair,discussion sessions and distribution of books(personal development, business and career books). We cannot afford to allow these kids to be kicked (by whatever reason) into becoming the adults they won’t be proud of so we arm them with the right war tools now for life’s battle.

As A Professional Master Of Ceremony 

Our event is as good as your host. Naturally I am energetic and people wonder how I take on a lot but my skill and experience as an MC has also helped me in achieving certain results.

 My Expectations.

I expect the older generation to create a conducive environment for growth, there is no competition. If the youths are not properly allowed to grow in years from now when the older generations are no longer on the scene what will sustain our dear nation?
Also according to Alvin Toffler ‘For society to attempt to solve its desperate problems without the full participation of even very young people is imbecile.”
I expect that brands increase the active participation and partnership with young people. The more comprehensively brands work with us as service partners, the more we all increase our public value to the entire community because Nigeria need all the energy, brains, imagination and talent that young people can bring to bear down on our difficulties. 

Challenges As A Youth Driver.

A lot of challenges and one major challenge is our value system especially in this part of the world.
It is disheartening that many times youth developmental projects lack funding while heavy funding goes into supporting a brand that sells short of decency and the values we should upload as a nation. I grew up to this fact, hardly do we have good sponsors for value adding events or projects. In my university days huge sum are spent on beauty pageantry and all the sort but hardly on conferences. What we are thereby communicating is that ‘we are ‘only’ interested in the financial returns than the investment on good values and this has affected so many aspects of our lives as a society.
Also I have heard many people say we aren’t loud enough and while sometimes it is important to put our work out there, I personally think it changes the essence of what we stand for if all I am committed to doing is ensuring I am ‘loud’ enough for awards, recognition etc. By loud I mean just vanity metrics. My point is this, while it is great to invest in a good PR when that becomes the focus of all that we do we truly lose the meaning in the long run.

Plans About Unemployment through Skill Up Academy 

It absolutely makes sense to skill up. In present days emphasis is laid on performance not just certificate. We are interested in your ability to do, not just in saying you know and this is where skilling up comes in. Our educational system is faulty to an extent, real life skills and even practical relevant skills are not taught but it is our responsibility as youths to take charge of our life and create what we want.
My coach always says your competition isn’t your neighbours or village person but global. If we must stand tall in the global stage then we must level up in terms of relevant 21st century skills.

I always ask the youths I have been honoured to speak with, What skills do you have that you can be paid for?
What skills do you have that can upscale your business? What skills do you have that can be an extra source of income?What skills do you have that can add value to your employee? What skill do you have that can make you a better person and extra buck of money?
The challenges just like any worthy movement is real. One major challenge is getting to partner with organisations that can provide job(full time or contract based) opportunities to our students to use the skills learnt. We also are running on a snail pace instead of on a jet speed because we do not have the support from many yet. Most of our projects are self funded, which isn’t really sustainable in the long run. Project that are focused on human capital development is really capital intensive.
Despite the seeming challenge, Get Up Youth Africa in line with the SDG 8 aims at promoting development-oriented projects that support productive activities, decent job creation, entrepreneurship, creativity and innovation, and encourage the formalization and growth of micro-, small- and medium-sized enterprises.
We are ready to take immediate and effective measure towards dealing with unemployment. Step by step we will get there. We refuse to allow the process mapping cripple our present efforts however little.

The consequences of high unemployment rate in Nigeria affects each and everyone of us as members of the Nigerian Society. The rate of crime…

This is a fight we are interested in engaging in at Get Up Youth Africa and we do hope more people join us in this fight.

As a two time Amazon bestselling author, I want you to know this
Don’t be in a hurry to just blow focus more on growing than blowing, growth is sustainable, ‘blowing’ is fickle. Commit to Process!

Would I consider a Senatorial/ House of Rep position 

I have always been ‘interested’ in politics as a child, and I just have this special love for my country,I want us to get this right ..
But, my involvement in politics so far hasn’t been an active one in terms of taking ‘positions’. I want to be a leader in my own right who influences certain decisions for the good of my country but I am not sure yet if it is via the active political platform.

As a Woman of Rubies
First of all I appreciate this platform for celebrating, inspiring and being a sounding board to many women.
I am a woman of rubies because I understand that I was not created as an experiment,I was not created as a test to see if I would function/work properly or not. The moment I realised who I am the game changed, I am a detail oriented being creating with every specificity only I possess and this has empowered my many actions. I am committed to being the best version of myself per time and act with the conciousness that lives are connected to me, my failure to raise and live my beet best is and hindrance to those lives. So this isn’t just about Victoria, but the generation tied to my existence.

5 women who inspire me to be better and why?
• Udo Okonjo. She has built a business…a successful one, is committed to investing in others as well and her relationship with God remaining unshaken. I am glad to know a successful woman can balance it all…I actually believe in having it all.

• Esther Ijewere…she is fierce in a good way! She is the definition of support and even though I really don’t know any toxic person in my corner I am aware there are lots of them out there, having a woman who doesn’t hold back in helping is really commendable.

• Dr Yolanda(Aunt Landa) for a long time right from my child hood this woman was my woman crush back to back. Her outreaches are amazing , she is in fact love personified! She daily shows that love is an action word. To think of it now, maybe this unconciously influenced my community actions.

•Oprah Winifred and Michelle Obama. No way would I leave them out of this hahaha. Sweetly enough we are January born and I look forward to hosting them to a diner event sometime in the future(January). These women are epitome of strength and more, they operate at a dimension I marvel at and this all the more makes my dreams look possible and valid! If they can grow into a delight we all applaud I sure can too. I shouldn’t be the one to say this but allow me toot my own…Let’s watch out for Victoria Nwanna.

Final word for young female change makers 
I know while starting out it could be overwhelming trying to balance a lot and prove a point, the need to always do is heavy. Hello hero, learn to pull down your mountains one step at a time. Be careful of analysis paralysis, yes drafting out a full plan is great but sometimes you can not see the next turn until you make the move. It is also important to understand the place of being and not just doing (Low current no dey carry iron). You can’t give what you don’t have, grow, learn, volunteer. You can be a change maker not necessarily by starting out your NGO, sometimes by working with someone’s vision too you are part of the solution. It is an honorable thing to be a midwife birthing others babies and so the title of executive director or CEO shouldn’t be the motivation. Be careful not to be the problem you are trying to solve for others. In this journey called life it is you and your assignment, no one before you or after you. Finally God has left the creation process to you, you have been given the power to create the reality you want on your life. Life is by design not fate…live as such god! You are the real deal…unapologetically so.

Further information 

Get Up Youth Africa is open to collaboration, partners and sponsors for our projects. We are dealing with the seeds (Teenagers and Youths) of our country and so investment must be made in their lives. We are planning skill up Academy again but this time a physical one and this would cost a lot financially and getting experts. We trust that you can come in and help on skilling up the youths of our dear country.
www.thevictorianwanna.com
getupyouthmovement@gmail.com

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“When Others See Problems, I Search For Solutions To Fix The Problem”- Adebola Kupoluyi

Adebola Kupoluyi is a seasoned professional with over nine (9) years of valuable experience garnered in diverse challenging roles. She possesses general management experience overseeing key functions of Finance Operations, Quality Assurance, Health& Safety, and Network Operations.

Burdened by the number of street kids, she started Mantle of Mordecai (MOM) foundation many years ago, a registered non-profit organization with the mission to reduce the population of out-of-school children in Nigeria and by extension Africa. Adebola Kupoluyi also champions the Culture Preservation Initiative with the mandate of ensuring that the culture of her home country Nigeria is preserved all over the world. As part of impacting her world she is a volunteer mentor of The Tony Elumelu Foundation tasked with empowering young entrepreneurs in Africa.

Adebola Kupoluyi was recently appointed Country Ambassador, Nigeria for Rise &  Lead Netherlands; a global knowledge sharing, education and advocacy platform that connects leaders, emerging leaders, NGOs and change-makers to promote the inclusion of women in leadership in the workplace, marketplace and society to foster peace and prosperity in society.  Adebola’s mandate in life is to impact all lives she encounters; she shares her Inspiring journey with me in this Interview.

Growing Up

I had a relatively tough childhood because I was diagnosed of chronic asthma before I turned five. I lived most of my life on admission in the hospital and sometimes I wrote my exams in the confines of my hospital bed. I was a very frail child and all I found comfort in was my books, so I guess that made me appreciate the importance of education.

However, I know that seed of what I do now was sown at the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) orientation camp of Yobe state in Fika town in April 2009. While in camp I had  two “adopted” sons Musa and Mohammed whom I connected to immediately I met them. They were part of the group of kids that came to camp for menial jobs daily. Once they came into the camp it was always straight to my hostel; my roommates knew them already so they would call out to me that my kids were outside.  Off we would go to the canteen together once it was time for any meal to eat.

During our last week, my friends and I put funds together and we bought necessities such as slippers (they were always bare footed) and clothes.  Seeing the way their faces lit up because of this seemingly insignificant gesture made me realize there was so much more that could be done. Although, I did not know how to go about it then but the desire to help kids had been sown in my heart and it kept germinating.

Mantle of Mordecai Foundation and Its impact since Inception

Mantle of Mordecai foundation popularly known as MOM foundation is an inspiration from God and our mandate is simply to reduce the number of out -of -school children in Nigeria and by extension Africa . Every time I see a kid that should be in school hawking during school hours my heart breaks knowing the kind of potential that is being wasted.

MOM is a registered non-profit organisation in Nigeria and our primary aim is to seek funds to enable out- of -school children have access to quality education. MOM has children from different parts of Nigeria, but currently focuses on the children in Dustbin Estate, a slum in Lagos State, Nigeria where families literally live on refuse dump.

Our success stories have been what has kept us going. As at December 2019, we had our first university graduate Olatunji Benedict from Ondo State University of Science and Technology, Okitipupa. He studied B.Tech Applied Geophysics . I met Latunji Korede about 5 years ago petty trading on Lagos streets, because his father lost his only source of income and became bed ridden, hence Korede had to step up to cater for the family. Another beneficiary Solomon Aare, who is currently in his final year at the university,  after graduating from the polytechnic with a distinction, has also become a serial entrepreneur even while still in school. He runs Point of Sales (POS) agency shops in three different locations in Lagos. This is a boy that lived in dustbin estate prior to MOM sponsorship.

How my Strong Background in the Corporate World Impacted me  

I will say I have been privileged to have an interesting and positively challenging career that has spanned over nine years now. Valuable experience has been garnered in diverse roles and sectors. I am currently the Senior Manager, Finance Operations at American Towers, a New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) quoted company. This is a general management capacity role which sees me managing key functions and team members working within the Finance Operations, Health & Safety and Network Operations. At the early stage of my career I gained four(4) years consulting experience in KPMG with specialty in Enterprise Risk Management (ERM). I have also had the privilege of mentoring at the Tony Elumelu Entrepreneurship Programme (TEEP), coaching four promising women in their chosen field of entrepreneurship.  I am also a New Leader for tomorrow at the Crans Montana forum, Monaco.  Advancing in my career despite all odds shaped my thought process; made me realise that I am here for a time such as now and that beyond my success in career there is more I should be doing to impact my world.

My appointment as Country Ambassador for Nigeria rise and Leads Netherlands

The Rise and Lead is an education and social impact organization founded in the Netherlands in 2018, providing skills, knowledge and thought leadership to individuals, entrepreneurs and

organizations. Our mission is to support women to achieve their personal and professional goals while leading the change towards closing the gender leadership gap.

As Country Ambassador that is leading a new Country Forum from scratch, I have the  opportunity to grow my leadership and impact and develop more leaders in my circle of influence.  Some of the expectations are to create, manage and lead all local events, meetups and training programs  as well as planning and execution of all major summits and local meetups.

Challenges of being an Advocate

The major challenge I face as an advocate is the resistant to change on all fronts. As human beings, we seem to be quite set in our ways and find it difficult to embrace another way of doing things.

An example is changing the mindsets of the parents of our beneficiaries at the MOM Foundation. Specifically, some parents do not believe that education should be prioritised therefore they are not usually very supportive of the beneficiaries. Asides, providing funds to the beneficiaries, there is usually a need for an orientation of the other stakeholders involved in the process. This ensures that the entire programme is not frustrated and our mission is accomplished.

Adebola Kupoluyi

Our International Women’s Day Summit

Rise and Lead team decided it is the best time for us to have the inaugural African summit, after two successful summits in the Hague, Netherlands in 2018 and 2019.

The summit is called the Rising Leaders’ African Summit, taking place on 27th March 2020 at Four Points by Sheraton, Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria.

Theme is: Leadership. Women. Inclusion

The Summit will host progressive panel conversations, keynote speeches and impact workshops which will focus on Digital Transformation, Entrepreneurship, and advancing more women into leadership positions”. High-level business leaders, policymakers and international keynote speakers will attend to share their experience and best practices in innovation and leadership while addressing the significant potential of Women and Youth to transform the African Societies.

As part of the summit we are also gifting 25 women with free entrepreneurial training under our Inclusive Founders program to enable them grow and expand their businesses.

Registration is currently ongoing at https://riseandleadsummit.com/summit-african/ and we have discounts for corporate bodies and group registrations. Attendance of the summit is a perfect gift organizations can give their women in celebration of the International Women’s month.

The Nigerian Government and it’s impact on Women and Children

According to Edmund Burke, “the only condition necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. This is my summation of the way the Nigerian government has prioritized issues regarding women and children.  I do not see any visible or targeted effort to alleviate the peculiar issues faced by women and children.

To buttress my point, according to UNICEF data in 2014 Nigeria had the highest number of out of school children in the world ( 10.5 million). Despite all the promise made by the Nigerian government to correct this anomaly, UNICEF declared that the number had gone up by 25% to 13.2 million in 2018. This shows a complete neglect for the cause of children and lack of focus on the future of the country. My question is if education is a priority for developed countries why isn’t it a priority for a country like Nigeria contributing the highest quota to the pool of uneducated kids?

Same concerns are valid for women, in a country with such diverse and talented women, it shouldn’t be out of place to have a quota system that ensures that women are able to compete on the same levelled playing field as their male counterparts.

Adebola Kupoluyi
Adebola

Being a Woman of Rubies

I have decided to dedicate my lifetime to impacting my world in every sphere I find myself. When others see problems, I search for solutions to fix the problem. I will love to die empty one day, knowing that the world knew I was here because of the lives I would have touched just like the lyrics of the song “ I was here”

I want to nurture kids, put as many of them in school, I want to mentor teenagers especially the ones that have gone through some form of molestation because I am also a sexual abuse survivor. I want to coach young women in career and also empower the currently disempowered women. I just want to give my ALL to my world, because I have realised that waking up every morning is actually a gift  that should be maximized and not taken for granted.

To Female Change-makers who are trying to find their Voice in the World

Be the light the world is desperately looking for. Have an audacious goal that is greater than you on your journey to changing the world; divide that goal into smaller subsets, tackle it daily, celebrate small wins and learn from your failures. Never forget to thank God for the doors that are being shut currently, because not every opportunity is a good opportunity. Be very deliberate about self-leadership and self-development, be yourself always and never doubt your ability to change the world. Although your sphere of influence may look small, you are actually a critical and crucial part of a greater battalion of army whose common goal is to make the world a better place; however, the tasks have been apportioned to us all in different dimensions .

You can and you will change the world in your own sphere of influence. Keep at it!!

 Mention 5 women who inspire me and why

  1. Olajumoke Adenowo – we fondly call her Mrs A. She has been of huge influence in my life since I started listening to her and eventually getting to know her. One thing she stands for which unfortunately has taken the back burner these days is excellence in the marketplace. She has shown in all her endeavors that she is on earth for a purpose and has taught us that; purpose should be fulfilled on any pillar of life we stand on.
  2. Ibukun Awosika– she epitomizes integrity as a woman in business. I have learnt from her that though taking an ethical stand may be unpopular at the time you are taking that decision, it speaks for you behind closed doors years later and takes you to places your certificate or experience couldn’t have.
  3. Debola Deji- Kurunmi – we fondly call her General DDK! Meeting her healed me of a small mindset. She is my Coach and one thing she has done for me is open my eyes to see that I can be multi-influential and productive at it. She debunked the “jack of all trade and master of none” theory. This has brought me to where I am today and all I am doing and the more that is still coming.
  4. My Mum– Mrs. Bolanle Salako- seeing her struggles and limitation as a woman who innately had it in her to be successful, who did all the hard work but just couldn’t break even. toughened me up. Unknowingly, I just wanted to be a way better version of her. I decided that apart from no one stealing my joy; I was going to be the light that is desperately needed in this world.
  5. My late Grandma -we fondly called her “Abby”. I say to myself that I am who I am because I had a praying grandmother. She was a warrior who fought wars on her knees for us. She took care of me as a sickly child and nurtured me for year(s). I am eternally grateful I got to spend time with her before she passed on 8 yeas ago.

Please reach out to the Rise and Lead team and Adebola Kupoluyi on adebola@riseandleadwomen.com or support@riseandleadwomen.com 

You can also follow our conversations on social media with the hashtags #RiseandLeadWomen #RisingLeadersSummit, #RLSummit2020 #drivethechange #leadtheconversation #togetherweriseandle

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“GIRLS NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT A WOMAN CAN BE MORE THAN A WIFE AND A MOTHER” – EMILIA EYO OKON

Emilia has a degree in Computer Science, an Associate degree in Community and Public Health and certifications in Entrepreneurship Development and Project Management for Development. She is a fellow of the African Women Entrepreneurship Cooperative (AWEC), New York on Social Enterprise Development and Coady International Institute, Canada on Facilitation Approaches for Social Change.

She also led the sexual and reproductive health training for national volunteers and beneficiaries at the Youth Resource Centers in 18 LGAs in Cross River State. Emilia shares her inspiring journey with me.

Childhood Preparation
I AM not sure if my childhood prepared me for anything, I grew up as any other female in the “hood” but somethings shaped my mentality right from the get-go. Am Efik, one of the tribes in Cross River State. The Efiks are quite matriarchal in terms of how they treat women. We have popular sayings like “eyen mi no ke ndo idighe uyam” meaning my child is for marriage and not for sale. Infact other tribes around us see Efik women as proud and do not stay in their marriages. This is not to glorify divorce it is to put in perspective the kind of conversations that shaped my thinking.

Another big event that shaped my childhood was when I joined the Girls’ Power Initiative (GPI) Calabar in 1996 as a GPI girl. We were re-sensitized on certain norms that people found normal. I attended the Sunday sessions 3-6 pm which talked about everything a young girl would experience ranging from Menstrual Cycle to Sexual Harassment. This is the institution that set the foundation for many years in the development sector. All the opportunities I had to grow, be exposed and learn began with that GPI Sunday lesson.

Being an experienced Development Practitioner with interest in Gender Mainstreaming & Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights

Following up on my experiences in GPI and my cultural background. I think I got captivated by the sense of being different. I became strong-headed and stubborn when it came to discussing women/girls’ issues. This was pure activism and advocacy. This translated to me coordinating the GPI Girls Alumnae Association for more than 3 years, serving in GPI as an intern and working as a staff for more than 5 years. My conversations around gender and women’s right were then properly molded and developed. When I left GPI to get into the normal development sector with men, I struggled because this was the practical aspect of what we talked about every workday. The struggle about women continually being dropped from leadership positions, young girls being socialized to be sex objects and materialistic, political scenes carved out to be a platform for men only continued to bother me and I saw myself speak about these issues more often than not.

I was once told by a popular radio presenter on air, that he didn’t think Gender was such a huge issue for a position called Gender Equality Officer to be carved out as he couldn’t imagine what I would be doing in the office. These kinds of comments have fueled my work over the years.

The years I enjoyed most were when I became a facilitator for young girls in the GPI training program, giving back to young girls using the skills I learned several years back to talk to these girls about their bodies, their sexuality including sexual and reproductive health and rights. I found myself as a role model for these young girls, am not sure I am. I became their confidant and at some point, their counselor, where we talked openly about sex, sexuality, protection and seeking help where necessary. I remember taking up sexual abuse cases for them, accompanying them to hospitals, etc. It was one of my most exciting times because I felt the impact of my work directly on the beneficiaries and I was learning every day.

Being a fellow of the African Women Entrepreneurship Cooperative (AWEC) and other organisations
The AWEC fellowship was training I did in my bid to further understand Women in Business. I was part of a project which assisted over 11,000 young women and men get entrepreneurship training and some were able to develop viable businesses using the support mechanism the project provided. It provided training, small grants, business development mentorship, etc. at some point in the project part of my role was to assist women specifically gain access equally to this project opportunities, train them on developing business despite their peculiar challenges as women and work with the available institutions to be gender-sensitive while dealing with businesswomen.

I decided to apply for the AWEC fellowship to be part of a platform where only women who were in business were sharing ideas, challenges and learning from each other. It was a great learning experience for me as it translated into my work while developing ideas on how to deepen gender issues on the project.

The Coady Institute experience was to further deepen my facilitation skills while delivering sessions. Sometimes people love to lecture while taking sessions, I did learn early while at GPI to use creative approaches in delivering my topics. As I grew in the development sector and my responsibilities kept being intertwined with delivering sessions all the time, I felt it would be nice to learn new skills, interact with other development practitioners whose role is deeply involved in delivering community relates sessions and learn. It’s was a great experience and very useful for my work presently.

Training and mentoring over 1000 young girls, 300 teachers in Cross River State
This is was the direct outcome of my roles in GPI and The Bridge Leadership Foundation (TBLF). I trained and trained mostly around gender, sexual violence, women and girls, sexual and reproductive health and rights. I saw young girls coming to me for so many things, mentoring, references, linkages, etc. I remember walking into the University of Calabar and spending most parts of it were amazed at how many young girls recognized me immediate and spoke about how I affected their lives. Some follow my social media page closely to interact and keep their fire burning.

The teachers’ training, I can not take full credit for because it was a project GPI carried out as part of introducing teachers and student teachers to the Family Life and HIV/AIDS national curriculum. At the time I was one of the lead trainers on that project. I was in my early 20s at the time.

You are a gender advocate, activist, broadcaster, and convener of several initiatives, mother and wife, how do you manage it all.

I ask myself this question every day, I guess am restless.

2 things; I think I always want my daughter to see me like that mother who also contributed immensely to her life. Not only socially but financially. I want my kids to understand in practice that women can be more than a wife and a mother so they know what to expect and grow up with this as a norm. I rationalized and agreed with myself to have a career and do what I love every day of my life if I have to. Otherwise I would be unhappy and that I refuse to be.

Challenges of being an Advocate
Too many to mention. I have lost friends because I am probably too outspoken, lost opportunities because I would not settle for less, tagged difficult, strong feminists not in a good way, etc but those things do not deter me. I maybe intimidate for a period but I usually bounce back within a space of time am back to being me.

Being an Inspiration in other Organisations
I do not own an organization but have worked for several others, my contributions are left for my colleagues, former and present to analyze but one thing they would not forget is the amount of project analysis, creativity and innovation I bring onboard while implementing any project/program.

What makes you a Woman of Rubies?
I love the fact that it creates a platform for women to be showcased with their skills and not how much their partners have or how many children they own. I identify with this space because it has open arms, any woman, young old, married, divorced, single or single mother can be showcased purely based on their skills. We learn, criticize and evolve together.

To young women who want to go into advocacy

Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. Dream BIG and work hard. Have Faith, plenty don’t know but my Faith level is way too high, that’s why when am low I know, I will be back up. If you fail? Understand it is a learning curve, take the lessons to forget the event. It is a tough road, buckle up and keep it moving.

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“THE RECEPTION TOWARDS PEOPLE LIVING WITH SICKLE CELL IN THE SOCIETY IS LOW”- OLUWAKEMI OGUNTIMEHIN

At age 18 Oluwakemi Oguntimehin was depressed and got tired of the stigma she faced due to her sickle cell disorder.

She thought she wouldn’t’ live   more than 20 years and saw no reason to wait till then, Kemi attempted suicide twice, got saved and realized she was Indeed  created for a purpose. In her pursuit of purpose and passion to help other  sickle cell warriors she founded Ignite Sickle Cell Initiative.

Oluwakemi Oguntimehin is a sickle cell warrior, a sickle cell advocate, an entrepreneur and change agent. She is giving hope in a not so hopeful society and lending her voice to the voiceless. Kemi shares her very touching and inspiring story with me in this interview.

In her words “Never allow the stigma and discrimination you face to affect your mental health. Accept yourself for who you are, focus on yourself, invest in your personal development ,self care, health , dream and vision”.

Childhood

Growing with sickle cell is not fun,  I was always restricted for fear of being sick, despite that I was mostly sick.  Not knowing what is wrong with me, with hospital turning to my second home, having to take blood transfusion every now and then. While thinking about all these , trying to know what is wrong with my body, since I don’t know about sickle  cell, nobody told me anything not even the Doctor, until I heard my teachers and classmates called me sicklier and treated me differently. On the other side are Pastors who will always come to pray for me in the hospital with revelations that I was a witch, some of this pastor said , I belong to a strong marine spirit group ,other labeled me as Agbana(money sucker) basically saying that I was sent to waste my fathers money on purpose and would only die after I have succeeded in turning him to a poor man.

The stigma and discrimination were every where from  teachers to classmates, to nurses, to  doctors who told my parent to forget me and focus on the other children because I might not live past 18 or 20 years at maximum.

As a young child who just  want to be normal, not restricted, not always using drugs, yet constantly  tongue lash by people to others  calling me witch, who see me as the cause of my problem is something that was beyond me.  Thinking about it now, if only the right information was out there, I think my growing up would have be more easier. To help children living with sickle cell have an easier childhood is the reason I decided to break the silence on sickle cell through the right information. I believe without a rough childhood I might not be passionate about sickle cell awareness. So my growing prepares me for what I do now.

Inspiration behind Ignite Sickle Cell Initiative

The ignorance surrounding sickle cell disorder even among some medical personnel is heart breaking.

Not to talk about the stigma and discrimination people living with sickle cell faced in the society. I see it as  people living with sickle cell are the one who received the blame , the torture of our parents mistake.  Despite the pain and what we passed through, the society still blamed us , some children has been abandoned, some parents refuse to send their children to school because of false beliefs.

I believe people love to learn from other people experience. Using my life and experience to teach people belief on sickle cell will go a long way . No child deserve to be treated badly just because she/he has a genetic disorder. All these inspire me to start Ignite Sickle cell Initiative.

Overcoming Depression

I have been showing symptoms of depression but people don’t care about mental health here. But at age 18, I was greatly depressed.

I was exposed to bullying, stigmatization  and discrimination from child hood friends through my adolescent age. At a point in time, I don’t bother about it again, but getting to university, the bully and discrimination got worse. People were mean to me on purpose, I was treated like I was not human. Imagine you are feeling alone even in the midst of thousand students. From class to hostel. Everyday, I heard people saying it to my face that they pity my parents  who  just wanted to waste their money according to their belief, I would be dead before graduation. Hearing that every day from different  people  add salt to the injury . People seeing me like I was not human, not talking to me, believing I’m less than someone they can talk to or some said my appearance disgust them. I lost all hope and was determined to end my life.  I had two failed suicide attempt and thinking about it now. I’m grateful it failed then. There is more to life beyond the stigma.

Reception since I started my Organization

The reception has been great now, it has improved greatly. Though there is still so much to do but people are learning everyday and the more aware they are, the more the reception they give. We still have a long way to go but It can only get better.

Challenges people living with sickle cell face

The challenges people living with sickle includes, frequent painful crisis that can happen anytime,

Complications from anaemia, to Avascular necrosis that can make some people to be on wheel chair or bedridden, stroke, organs damage and so many more. Apart from the health challenges, there is also stigma and discrimination, where many are denied job opportunity just because they live with sickle cell.  Some are even fired because they are often sick.

Also due to the nature of the disorder, a lot of money are require for sickle cell management  with a lot of people not working and even those who work has to spend majority of their money on drugs and hospital bill. With the current situation of our economy and health, where we have to pay for everything and every services, a lot of parents can’t afford the management,  some are in debt, while some parents neglected some children believing it is better they die.

Other Projects

Other projects includes organizing rural community outreach to educate the communities dwellers and also conduct free genotype test for children ( 0 to 10 years ). One thing is early intervention in sickle cell is needed to reduce high mortality in children living with sickle cell through our Be-Aware campaign.

We also have project X- Campaign where we create awareness in school  both secondary schools and higher institution.

We also give out free routine drugs to people living with sickle cell in monthly basis which we call our “Wellness Clinic”

Apart from Ignite Sickle cell ,  other project is to help people to be confidence in who they are, using their story to change  narrative.  When we are constantly bullied, it affects our self esteem As someone who has  battled low self esteem.  I know the importance of having  a great self esteem. Though a lot of people living with sickle cell battles with low self- esteem though this problem is not peculiar to only  people living with sickle cell. It affect majority of woman and  men too.  To help others who has low self esteem, I have written a book  ,  is will be  available in eBook  as from next month which means distant is never a barrier to get as long as you are on the internet. The book is to help a lot of  people build their self esteem and Become Unstoppable in achieving their goals and vision.

The role the society Play

The reception towards people living with sickle cell in the society is low, unacceptance in terms of marriage, some parents will never allow their son to marry  someone living with sickle cell. Some men think they are doing you a favor by dating you and use that as means to abuse.

People still believe women living with sickle cell can’t give birth and some believe living with sickle cell makes you a lesser woman thus making some women living with sickle cell to hide their truth. They will rather do what they can’t do just to hide the fact that they live with sickle cell.

I think things are getting better though and will always get better.

Challenges of being a Social Entrepreneur

The major challenge is funding. Getting funding from individual and corporate sponsors is not very easy.

In Nigeria , so many people believe you must be rich to be a social entrepreneur and with this mentality, people want you to pay high prices for some things, some even believe the government or some big politicians are the one funding you.  Volunteering is just becoming a thing now and many people want to be paid for volunteering their time because to them you are rich and wealthy.

As a social entrepreneur, I often encounter people who belief sickle cell is not an issue and advise me to change my course to HIV or something else. Some people also think I’m too small to start a social enterprise.

Impact of my work

Average of 100 children has being receiving free routine drugs every month, Our community medical outreaches has reach 6 rural communities  which has impacted over 6,000 individuals directly, Awareness in secondary and higher institutions reaching over 2000 people, 20 people hospital bills has been paid  and Online awareness reaching thousands of people

Being a Woman of Rubies

My impact to change the norms around sickle cell also helping people to be confident in who they are using their story to impact lives makes me a woman of rubies.

To my Parents and those who stood by me through thick and thin

I want to use this medium to appreciate my parents, who never abandon me and believe in me despite everything people said to them. I remembered people told my dad that he shouldn’t bother sending me to University, but they believe I’m a gift to them.

Also I will like to appreciate Chief  Bisi Ogunjobi for his unending support. I remember when we needed a place for our monthly clinic, not only did he give us a building but also furnished it. Thank you for supporting all our outreaches and our monthly clinic every time.

To women living with sickle cell

To women living with sickle cell, Never allow the stigma and discrimination you face to affect your mental health. Accept yourself for who you are, focus on yourself, invest in your personal development ,self care, health , dream and vision. Enjoy life.  Your pain and scars are the evidence that you are a survivor and a warrior.  Believe in yourself that you can achieve anything despite the pain because I believe in you. If I can do it, then you can do it.

 

 

 

 

 

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“I WANT EVERY GIRL CHILD IN NORTHERN NIGERIA TO KNOW HER WORTH AND HAVE A VOICE”- JENNIFER AGUNLOYE

One of the biggest challenges of the Girl child in Northern Nigeria, is the way they are mostly objectified or given away in marriage at an early age , thereby making it difficult for most of them to get basic education or even have access to infrastructure that prepares them for the Future.

Jennifer Agunloye is giving these girls hope through her G.I.S.T foundation ( Girls should Thrive), a  Kano based registered NGO focused on raising female leaders from disadvantaged communities through entrepreneurship, education and technology. The  award winning writer and internationally trained civic leader certified by the university of Nebraska, Lincoln is passionate about community development through women empowerment.

She is a Certified leadership coach, who is inspiring youths and raising female leaders from disadvantaged communities across Africa through the Tagit academy.

She’s also the founder of Herfreekan Ventures, a social enterprise set up to empower women financially and Co-founder of Agric-farms enterprise focused on reducing hunger and poverty through agriculture.

She is impacting the lives of the girl child and women through her other initiatives like “March against hunger project”, “Safe Space Program” and Support Her Effort (SHE) , which focuses on supporting women with small businesses hawking in the street in different slums. So far Jennifer has  empowered over 50 girls and reached over 3000 families in Kano state.

She shares her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere in this motivating and eye opening interview, highlighting some of the major problems of the girl child in Northern Nigeria and how she’s amplifying their voice to give them hope.

Childhood Influence

My childhood did Infact prepare me for this even though I didn’t realize it then. I was overweight as a child and that made me grow up with a lot of self esteem issues. Though I was lucky to have encountered the right set of people who saw my potential and nurtured it, I noticed that a lot of girls were growing up with terrible self images for different reasons are were settling for less in life and this was putting them at a disadvantage. This was one of inspiration for going all out with our organization. I also went to school with a lot of girls with amazing potentials but have just refused to dream because of the environment they were growing up. There, women were just considered just good enough to be wives and mothers so any woman with a dream was considered abnormal.

Inspiration behind GIST

I started GiST as an online blog focused on inspiring girls to dream and believe in themselves. But after my university education I returned to the community where I had my secondary school education and I realized that most of the girls were now young mothers of 2 – 3 children with no source of lively hood. The level of poverty and abuse in that community was increasingly in an alarming way and worse the younger girls were headed in the same direction. I knew that if something was not done, the numbers would just continue to sky rocket. So it dawned on me that the people who needed what I was sharing on my online platform were not on the internet. They were on the street and in those villages and undeserved communities. This was what inspired the Girls Should Thrive Initiative to become what it is today.

Combating the demoralization of the Girl child in Kano

Our work is focused on getting the girl child to see herself for who she really is – A beautiful brilliant human that can achieve anything she sets her heart to. We focus on challenging her mindset. Getting her to see herself differently, to believe in herself and make an effort to change her life and not give up no matter what life throws. Simply put, we believe that when these girls allow their potentials to gain expression everyone will have no choice but to reckon with them. This is how we confront the demoralization; getting the girls to see that they deserve better and are capable of more.

Impact of our activities in Northern Nigeria

Through our March against hunger project we’ve been able to enlighten over 3000 families on the importance of Educating their female children.

One of our major success stories is Maman Amira, the mother of a crippled girl who we met living in the street during our March against hunger project. We fixed the roof of her house and empowered her to start up a business. Now Maman Amira has a poultry business which is empowering 6 women through a community-based cooperative and Amira is now in school preparing to sit for her final exams.

Also, through our safe space program we’ve provided in depth leadership and entrepreneurship training to over 1000 girls have so far empowered over 50 girls like Kudirat who has now registered her business and reached over 3000 families.

Challenges of being an Advocate

One of the major challenges I’ve faced is the challenge of keeping the girls coming for our trainings. The girls usually have to be provided with incentives to keep them coming for a while before they realize the value of what they are being given. Since Our organization has operated largely based on donors for individuals and private organizations it has been very difficult to provide those incentives and hence we loose some of our participants along the way and usually have to go back and start afresh with them when next we come for the next batch of training, hoping earnestly that they would follow through till the end.

Our Empowerment programmes

The Support Her Effort (SHE) project was inspired by one of our March against hunger beneficiaries who had given up on her business after facing some challenges but decided to pick it back up after we spoke to them about the importance of entrepreneurship. An elderly woman with the responsibility of training her grand children because their father (her oldest son) is epileptic. She collected some goods on credit and started all over. After I spoke to her I just realized there are many like this woman who are making intense efforts to keep there businesses alive so they can make ends meet. We decided to start supporting such women to encourage them and boost their businesses. The project selects one woman a month and at the end of the year we select the most outstanding one among who has done amazingly well with the investment and give her an even bigger investment. Our goal is to increase the frequency to one woman weekly and take the project to the next level of training this women on how to grow their businesses and select at least 10 women annually to qualify for more funding.

The plight of the Girl Child in Northern Nigeria

Well we’re not where we want to be but we’re definitely not where we used to be. Things have improved significantly to a large extent. I don’t believe girls are being treated as they deserve. A great number of people still see girls as nothing but sex object. They measure her worth by how “sexy” she is or how well she can cook. That’s a huge disrespect to a person created by God Himself with amazing potentials. So honestly we do have a long way to go but like I always say, while we are demanding that society stops obejectifying the female specie, we should all empower these girls to be confident enough to demand for their respect which is what we do at Gist.

If I had the opportunity to share my thoughts about the Girl child with the Kano State Governmen

I’d say you are missing a lot when you don’t empower your girls. There is so much potential buried in those girls that can solve most of the challenges facing the society today but if their potential is not developed, they cannot even try. I must commend the government though. They are beginning to make efforts in that regard and its encouraging but they can do much much more because there isn’t much time. We have to save the next generation from being partakers of the effect of marginalization of girls.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I think what makes me a woman of rubies is my passion. My deep seated passion to see women rise. To see women break barriers, over come limitations and be all they can be. I see it as an honor to be gifted with such drive to contribute to women’s development in my own way and it’s such a blessing to be able to do it in Northern Nigeria. Reading about the qualities that women of rubies should have, I felt so honored to see that I have come to embody some of these qualities over the years through my experiences and God’s grace. It’s such a privilege thinking about it. I don’t take it lightly in any way.

Dear Marginalized Woman

My final word of Marginalized women is this: it won’t always be like this. A time is coming when you will be everything you dream you’d be. A time is coming when you will get an education with ease, you will have a voice in things that concern you and your children. You will give expression to all the gifts that God has blessed you with without being afraid or ashamed. The time is coming when you won’t be careful to raise your head high and be confident in yourself and in your dreams. That time is close. So, don’t give up yet.

 

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“I DIDN’T HAVE IT ALL ROSY GROWING UP BUT I AM BECOMING” – MOSOPE ODESEYE

Someone once said women are the best multi-taskers, that is exactly what Mosopefoluwa represents, a woman who can manage and joggle more than one task and excel in all.

The experienced event planner is the Creative Director at Mode Seven Events and   doubles as the Head Chef at Iyameto’s kitchen, a catering company she founded about 3 years ago. She has a diploma in Mass Communication from Olabisi Onabanjo University. Ago Iwoye. Lagos & also a basic presentation certificate from Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria. Lagos.

She has worked as a co-host on two different shows on radio and also worked as a production manager at a movie production company.   Mosopefoluwa is often called a philanthropist & has volunteered for a number of organisations which include Mich Consulting, Inspiro Consulting, The Pamilerin Company, Christmas on The Streetz, an organisation that caters for the less privileged, specifically at Christmas and many more.

She is the event planner for the Australian Education Exhibition annual event where her company provides 50 stand assistants for delegates yearly and also the event planner for BTDT Hub, Lagos and coordinates the annual Leadership Legendary Lessons and the masterclasses. She currently serves as the service coordinator at her church and supervises all departments at church amongst many other events.

She has a genuine interest in young men and women who are interested in business & generally need a push in life to start up new things & move from where they are to where they want to  and she has been privileged to speak with and inspire undergraduates, graduates and entrepreneurs across Nigeria.

In her words; “The world may not accept you immediately, but be consistent”.

She shares her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere in this interview.

Childhood Influence

Yes, my childhood influenced me. However, I had no idea I’d be doing this. I never learnt how to cook from any catering service, but my mum is a professional caterer and I’ve practically watched her cook every other day. She had also worked at a hotel, in charge of hospitality, worked at some other, organisations as a caterer. I’d visit her at work during school breaks.

Inspiration behind “Iyameto”

I had a conversation with an older friend a few years ago & they talked about not being able to eat as much as they needed to. I mentioned I could make soups for them regularly that they’d stock up in their refrigerator & pick up whenever they needed to eat. I made the first set of soups, they picked up & they were impressed. So, I thought “why not make this into a business for busy parents, bachelors& more?”

Being a certified event planner and mass communicator but pitching my tent catering services

I picked interest in catering because I observed a pattern during events, especially parties at the caterer’s stand & I wanted to make a change.

Reception of my widely delivered local snacks

The reception has been fantastic & gets me super excited every single time! The catering business started less than 5 years ago but it feels like I’ve been in it for so long. People easily relate with the business & most importantly are amazed by business name. The “widely delivered local snacks” has received fabulous reception & folks recommend us over & over again after they’ve had a feel of it. Someone once mentioned on social media that i (Iyameto’s kitchen) invented it. That felt good even though I didn’t invent it. It shows I’m doing it right!

My multiple certification and personal growth

It has given me more experience & also help me feel more confident that I can fit into different fields if and when I find myself there. It also makes me more versatile & it has been what I had interest in from childhood, so I intentionally went a step further to train for them. It is also what I thought I’d be practicing at the moment & I like doing.

Other projects and activities

I consult for start ups, I speak at seminars and trainings package, I also help busy mums & families shop for groceries, some monthly, some quarterly. I volunteer for NGO’s as often as I have the opportunity to. I package & sell food items to folks within & outside the country.

Challenges of being a Caterer

Deliveries! Deliveries!! Deliveries!!!! The dispatch (courier) companies. Logistics & transportation is basically one of the major challenges. Managing humans is also not as easy but we keep building & getting better at it.

Unexpected increase in price of goods as is also one. In a case where you have given cost to your customers/clients, you meet a different price at the local market but you have to deliver anyway!

My community service and it’s impact

Christmas On the Streetz (an annual giveaway/hangout) I discovered in 2018 on Twitter. Pamilerin foundation, Inspiro consulting & a few others I had volunteered for over the years. Giving to needy individuals & reminding myself that everyone out there needs a lifting at some point in life. Basically trusting myself to do better and do more & believing that others can have Hope based on how I inspire them to do more & be better people, generally!

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am exceptional! I am hardworking! I am a humanitarian! I am a philanthropist! I have failed many times but I never give up! I didn’t have it all rosy growing up but I am becoming! I treat everyone I meet well & I do not look down on anyone! I am focused! I make the best of every situation I find myself!

To young women who want to go into catering business

To every young woman out there who aspires to go into the catering business! Believe in yourself, you can do it if you really want to! Start from where you are! Build up! Don’t expect the world to accept you the first day you kick off!! Also, be sure you can handle all that comes with it. Some days are high, some days are low! Take feedback from those who patronize you or eat freely from you & be a better caterer! Sometimes, cook for people around you & ask that they rate your cooking, the real but firm ones! Be confident! The “world” may not accept you immediately but be persistent! I’d also like to say, be sure you have passion for it before you go into it! Don’t give up when the results don’t look like it. Be consistent!!!

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“MY GOAL IS TO PROMOTE LOCAL INDUSTRIES AND OUR CULTURE” – JADESOLA RAWA

A popular poet once said: “Fashion is like eating, you shouldn’t stick to the same menu.” The beauty of Fashion is to be unconventional and sometimes break from the norm. That is what Jadesola Rawa is doing with her Melia by Jade clothing line, making evergreen clothings that stand the test of time, using Batik (Adire).In a short period of time, she has been able to not only carve a niche for herself but become a household name. Jade has successfully made fashion that cut across all social status and also give a percentage of her sales to organisations that look after women with breast cancer, and that’s what makes her stand out. She shares her inspiring story with  Esther Ijewere in this interview.

Childhood Influence
I grew up in the Northern part of the country. Not with a lot, so I had to be resourceful to get what I need. I was that child that knew that getting extra uniforms was not going to happen. So if I wanted my uniform or hand-me down clothes to look a certain way, I had to patiently sit with the tailors to alter. I remember spending hours with local tailors in Barnawa, Kaduna where I grew up. I guess looking back at it, that’s where this whole business started from indirectly. I pored over Ovation and City People magazines for years. I loved looking at clothes and people looking glamorous.

Inspiration behind Melia by Jade
Melia By Jade started out of necessity and also love. Necessity because I was in-between jobs and I really felt like I had to do something for some sort of income. I have always loved fashion and clothes. I knew I didn’t want to just sell clothes. So it seemed natural to create the pieces I would wear but using local fabrics to do it. The Melia part of the name came from a hotel I was staying in at the time; the thought came to me to do something about this. Some research into the name and it turns out to mean feminine beauty in German. Flatterer. Industrious. So there you have it…Feminine Beauty by Jade which is the short form of my name…Jadesola.

Why I chose Batik
I have always loved Adire and fabrics that are indigenous to us. Adire is art. I love art. I love beautiful things that are unique and can’t be found on every and anybody. Remember watching all those old Yoruba movies? The ones in the village setting? They wore adire. The royalty wore adire. There is just something special about it. And also because a part of me wants to give back to Nigeria, Promote local industries and our culture; from the tailors we use, the printers, the suppliers. A huge part of what we do is to also give back. Every year, a percentage of sales goes to organisations that look after women with breast cancer; CancerAware. This year, I am looking to do something with kids. On a bigger scale. So, yes we are huge on giving back and making a difference in our own little way.

My brand in five years
To be honest, I want my brand in stores across the world. I already do a tiny amount of export to the UK and US and Canada. But the plan is to stock in some of the stores abroad where anyone from any part of the world could walk into and pick up a Melia By Jade piece. I want to be a household name in Nigeria and beyond, for a brand that makes unique, affordable and contemporary pieces using locally sourced fabrics.

Moments that make me reflect on why I started
The joy I get when I run into people wearing my brand. Or people send me pictures of themselves wearing it, or when my daughter sees any random person on the street wearing adire and she goes “are you wearing Melia?” To her, any adire piece is a Melia piece. All these things give me joy. Makes me remember why I started and gives me the push to continue during the difficult times.

Nigerian designers that inspire me
I admire a lot of Nigerian designers. I love Moofa…like I can see myself wearing like 80 per cent of what she makes, just can’t afford her yet). I look up to Xclamations by Tomi Rotimi. Lanre Da Silva Ajayi also does great work.

Other Projects and Activities
I work a full-time job in renewable energy. I love what I do in my 9 to 5 because it’s social impact work. I love the fact that while I am earning salary, I can still make a difference in lighting up communities that would otherwise maybe not see power if they wait on the national grid. I love TV. That’s where I started my career from. I have all these ideas about stuff I would like to do in content creation. One day soon. These are my passions. One day soon…

Challenges of being an Entrepreneur
I was talking to someone who mentors me recently in this fashion space, and he mentioned the fact that he imports EVERYTHING for his business. That made me so sad. But I can legit understand why he would do that. From tailors, to suppliers, to printer to pretty much everything, it’s almost crazy to even want to run a business in Nigeria. It seems like EVERYTHING is configured to frustrate you.

Designing Nuggets for Beginners
Lol. Shouldn’t I be taking lessons? I am a learner too. But I would say this…no matter how tempted you get, make sure you stay true to yourself. Your stamp should always be on your designs. Everyone has done everything that everyone is trying to do…what makes you different? That’s what everyone should ask themselves when designing.

Being a Woman of Rubies
I think a lot of things. The fact that every single day I wake up, I want to be a better person. The fact that I have faced adversities so many times and I refused to give up. The fact that even though it’s hard, I still try to make sure that integrity is my watchword for the things I do. The fact that for me, helping the next person anyway I can will still put a smile on my face over profit. The fact that I tell my child every single day I can…be a decent human being. That’s more important that being “first in class” or being the prettiest girl out there. Don’t get me wrong…this woman of rubies has feet of clay…but we keep pushing.

Dear aspiring Fashion Designer…
What are you bringing to the table that’s different? That’s the only question. If you can answer that, then you are good to go.

My experience in the Industry
I would say that I am a child of grace. I believe I have been given opportunities others might not have been lucky to access. It is a grace thing. Don’t forget, this isn’t a full-time gig for me yet. If and when it becomes a full time gig, I would then be able to say whether or not the industry has been fair. But on second thoughts, me…I am not waiting for anything to be fair o. We take it!!! When we are ready.

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Temi Olajide
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Temi Olajide: I Want To Help Working Mums Enjoy Motherhood While Achieving Their Goals

Temi Olajide is a Certified Child Sleep / Potty Training Consultant and Child Psychologist. She is Nigeria’s first certified child sleep consultant, Founder and Lead Strategist at Mummyclinic Global Services, founded in December 2017. Her organization hosts an online platform that provides strategies and result-driven solutions to the challenges of child-rearing. The organization which is also a sleep training platform for children in West Africa helps mothers to successfully combine the requirements of life and motherhood while responding correctly to the peculiarities of the digital age. She successfully worked with over 1500 mothers within the first year of establishment.

Beyond her certification in Child Psychology, Potty Training and Child Sleep Behaviour, she holds a B.Sc. in Chemistry, a certification in Introductory Journalism from the London College of Media and Journalism and  Makeup Artistry and Aesthetic Spa certification.

Temi is also the author of the fast-selling Amazon book;  Wi-Fi Kids and Analog Parents, a comprehensive book that equips parents on how to raise well-rounded kids in the digital age.

She shares her story in this interview.

Childhood Influence

I will say yes, my parents did their best to live intentionally and their lives were transparent to us and were both great role models. I wanted to be a modified version of them though not with as many kids, by the way, I’m the first and only girl with three brothers.

I would also my parents lives parented me, I would have loved for them to have been more approachable early on in my life because there are some experiences you would have loved to share as a young girl growing up, but typical Nigerian parents then weren’t that approachable, the fear of some many other things wouldn’t allow that, lol. But they never lived a lie, so I grew up using their lives as a guide, which I usually encourage parents to do. If you cannot do so much, just be a good example because your kids can see through you and learn just to be like you as many parents don’t practice what they preach and that’s where you start to lose your kids.

Inspiration behind Mummyclinicc

Mummyclinicc was founded to empower mums on how to overcome day-to-day mummy challenges by providing them with quick hacks and solutions, achieve work and life success, and improve their well-being and state of mental health while they raise well-rounded children in this digital age.

Let me share a background story of what prepared me for mummyclinicc.

After marriage, I sat down one day and analyzed what kind of mum I wanted to be. I wanted to be that mum that enjoyed her life and work while raising my kids. But the narrative around me didn’t reflect what I desired. The narrative I saw was that as a mum you will experience sleepless nights, it’s overwhelming, tiring, and exhausting,  it’s either you choose your career or your children, and it’s not fun and fulfilling asides having these babies. I didn’t want my life to be all these. I  know being a mum is very challenging but I said to myself since I  can’t avoid it so why not look for easier ways to overcome these challenges and enjoy the journey, I started to seek knowledge and read books to find solutions. I wanted to change this narrative so that I can enjoy this journey despite the challenges. So I became deliberate from day one when I got pregnant with my first. And that was the beginning of being an intentional mum, I didn’t leave things to chance except pray for God’s guidance and blessings on my effort as I knew God wouldn’t come down to do my job. Then the digital age came, joined Instagram in 2016 and I saw many mums struggling and unhappy with the journey of motherhood, I remember always seeing posts of mums struggling with getting their kids  to go to bed early, sleeping through the night and potty training and I always told myself, this shouldn’t be a problem any mum should be facing, I can help  but didn’t know how

I will have sleepless nights many times thinking why will these mums be going through all this when solutions exist but I am a very private person and thinking of how I will cope with social media which can still be a struggle times though.

Then my late dad’s funeral will play again in my head, Temitope, if you die today, what value will you have added to mankind? So I decided to finally take a plunge and live my dreams because I knew I was called to help working mothers. I knew it was time to overcome my fears and start to fulfil my dreams of helping more mums than those around me and adding more value to humanity.

I knew 80% of our problems are solved as mums if raising our kids gives us some form of peace and joy.

I’m always unhappy and troubled when I see or hear other mums unhappy and overwhelmed because this was what I wanted to avoid as a mum and I know they can also achieve it if they allow me to help them. This was how Mummyclinicc was birth. Taking mums from exhausted/overwhelmed to enjoyment despite our challenges.

Being  Nigeria’s first certified child sleep consultant

We have been able to sleep train over 700 children in our sleep school and it’s amazing how you see the lifestyle of mums transform and become productive when their child’s sleep habits and sleep is improved. We’ve witnessed improved bonding between husbands and wives as they get more time to spend with each other as soon as the kids are in bed and not witnessing any interruption in their beds through the night too. We have had testimonies of children feeding better, behaving calmer, becoming healthier and doing better at school due to improved sleep lifestyle and so many more.

I’ve heard some mums say why to hire a sleep consultant, our parents didn’t sleep-train us until I explain to them that life sleep-trained us. Imagine our lives without the internet, youtube, 24-7 Tv programs, phones, tabs, and generators. Everyone including our parents went to bed early by 10 pm after the news and we kids after dinner, so we were able to enjoy the benefits of sleep. But imagine our lives now and the benefits of sleep and our physiological body system are still required, our bodies are still the same and don’t understand the Internet age but we are depriving it of the benefits. Even as adults, inadequate sleep is leading to many illnesses now and it’s during consolidated adequate sleep that our brain cells are repaired and our children’s growth hormones are developed.

Leaving the banking industry to pitch my tent as a Child sleep and potty training advocate

I left the banking industry after having my first child to give me more time to be hands-on with him and I didn’t have a lot of support around me at that time as my mum wasn’t in the country. I also wanted a career as a business consultant because that was my desire after graduating from school which I am today which I combine with Mummyclinicc. I became a Child sleep and potty training consultant solely out of a passion to help other mums. I just want every other working mum out there to enjoy motherhood while achieving their dreams and raising well-rounded children. That this is doable.

Work-life balance of being a certified Potty Training Consultant, Child Psychologist, Wife  and Mom

I have immense support from my husband, my children and my mum, they’ve been a great help. And there is something I never fail to do, asking for help, even if it will cost me.

Being Intentional with my life has also helped, me plan my day. I guard the use of my time jealousy as I know time is life. I also started to involve and integrate my kids at a very young age with house chores and my work, so that helped as well. I refuel regularly by taking care of myself and doing what I enjoy doing I ditched perfectionism. Nothing like a perfect mum or wife, I just work at being the best for my family.

Finally, I prioritize. I focus on what’s important each time, so I’m able to give my best to whatever I choose to focus on.

Other projects and activities

Asides from our sleep and potty training services, as a child psychologist I also help mums through our classes and mummy coaching programs on building trust with their children, getting kids to listen and cooperate with them, sex education for kids, confidence and positive personality building for lifelong success and other challenges mum face.

Challenges of Being a Social Entrepreneur

Poor Internet  Services in our country are a major for me because we work with mums across the world, and poor internet connection makes it more frustrating in helping as many mums as we will love to help as our platform is majorly using the online space to reach out.

Collaborating with people and organizations can be a herculean task also in our Country especially pitching our services to organizations to help women employees become more productive.

Lack of funds to expand is also a major challenge. We don’t want to only help mums that can afford our services or be able to access the free resources we give daily on our platform only

Potty Training Nuggets

The first thing about potty training is education. We advise mums to educate themselves before getting started. Many times we just want to jump into potty training, get potty and tell the child to sit on it. That is why many children wouldn’t cooperate so easily with us on the first try.

Secondly, the type of potty matters, imagine sitting on a toilet that is too low, high or the toilet bowl is too wide for your bum, you wouldn’t be comfortable and enjoy the process of using it, likewise with children, comfort matters especially something you’re weaning them into, if not it becomes a stressful process for you and your child.

My fast-selling book Wi-Fi Kids and why it’s a must-have for every parent

It’s a must-have because it addresses the changes in the dynamics of parenting in this age compared to ours and how to handle those changes, it provides a much-needed guide for raising children in the digital age. It is so all-encompassing and it highlights the pros and cons of the digital age, sex education for kids, understanding and communicating with children in the digital age, and constructing boundaries, among other salient issues bordering on parenting in the digital age. We need to understand what our digital children require from us to allow them to thrive and navigate successfully at this age.

I use this analogy, our parents were trained with walls, and our walls were our churches, schools, mosques and family. We believed everything we were told because there was no other source of information. Imagine our mothers telling us then that if a man touches us, we will get pregnant and we believed, even a 2year old in this digital age will say, Mum, why are you lying, it’s impossible. We should understand that we are raising our children now with no walls, if you lie to them, google is now everyone’s new friend. Learning and information are not limited to what we were limited with, so you will agree with me that the tactics that are used to find battles in a place with walls/restriction are different from a place with no walls, no walls means more danger, confusing to navigate and porous to attack. Parenting Strategy has to be different, which is why my book is a must-have for every parent at this age, nothing to do with you being techy, it’s a mindset shift!

To Moms who are finding it hard to get the necessary support and resources, they need to train their children.

Honestly, not every mum will get desired support from families and friends, but thank God for the online space, support and resources that now exist compared to when I was having kids.

If you can’t get free help, if you can afford to pay for help and support, please do. I did and I’m still doing so I’m not a fan of giving excuses, whining and blaming my circumstance for not having the support I desire.

Trying to figure things out in this digital age is becoming more costly than the cost of seeking help from people. I remembered when we were growing up, it took a village to raise us, our parents will go to their friends, neighbours, pastors and school for help and support, but at this age, everyone is keeping their problems to themselves, you don’t want people to know your challenges before they spread it around (which can be understandable because there is a trust issue in this age) but it still doesn’t take away the fact that you need to seek help when needed because we can’t do this alone, and that is why if you can’t get it free please seek professional help on time before its too late, everything happens so fast in this age.

Government  and  the child health sector

I believe they should have improved medical child-friendly facilities for children as parents will be more comfortable in taking their children to the hospitals without self-medicating which usually leads to more complications. Then if they can make access to medical facilities free for children, it will reduce child mortality rates as parents will take their kids quicker for treatments rather than self-medicating or figuring it out instead of waiting till the last minute and health deteriorated.

Challenges Mum faces

 I would say one of the major challenges is having to get their children to listen and cooperate with them without having to shout, spank or nag them and knowing appropriate ways to discipline and set boundaries with the peculiarities of the digital age.

Dear Mums….

Dear mum, There is nothing like this how things are when you become a mum, you must have sleepless nights,  shout, nag, be overwhelmed, and give up something for something. Times have changed and help is here, Solutions exist. Please reach out for help, no mum deserve to suffer in silence.

You deserve to live the best version of yourself while raising the best version of your children. Remember you can’t give what you don’t have and your kids will most likely be like you or a  better version of you. The question is what version of you are your kids seeing and learning from?

At mummyclinicc, we provide quick proven solutions to all your worrisome mummy headaches,  while you achieve work & life success to live a healthier life and improve your well-being and state of mental health while you raise the best version of your child in this age and enjoy your mummy life.

We can be reached through our website www.mummyclinicc.com and our Instagram page @mummyclinicc.

 

 

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SEX CARRIES 60% BLAME IN HIGH RATE OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE- MO DARASAYO

We do know that a healthy sex in marriage is one of the most commonly cited traits among happy couples when asked how they make it work.  These couples have managed to maintain intimacy for years, still enjoying their bond and maintaining the fondness they have for one another.

Sex and marriage go hand in hand. If you can buy this argument, you can most likely understand why is sex so important in a marriage. Intimacy enhances long-term relationships, and this is what Sex Therapist Mo Darasayo advocates for .

Mo Darasayo (MDS is a Sex Enthusiast and Therapist. She helps people overcome problems of bad sex through therapy. An initiative she  started due to her personal experience over 20 months ago and having counsel over 10 couples and many individuals, she decided to take it up as a job and build it up as a notable Brand in the Sex Therapy industry.

She shares her personal journey and joy of seeing marriages work with me in this inspiring interview.

Childhood Influence

I grew up in a polygamous Home. Last Child of 8. Had my primary education in St. Michaels School Ibadan before i moved to Galaxy Schools for Common Entrance Examination, then proceeded to Our Lady of Apostles Mary way Odo ona for my Secondary Education. Then studied Accounting in the Higher Institutions. Not so close to Dad until Mom passed away in 2006. And growing up i don’t hear much about sex. It’s either about religion or Education. I’m either in Church or School. Most novels i read back in school were mostly about Education. No lovey-dovey, if my steps found me reading anything relating to sex or romance, i might be in troubles. So I stayed off. My Childhood didn’t prepare me for what i am doing right now, I’ll say Marriage did.

Inspiration behind my passion for the Sex Industry

Okay, I’ve been looking for a platform to share this personal experience, it’s about time. Sex Therapy Industry is the last place i thought I’ll found myself. I mean, by age and experience I don’t belong here. But here I’m at. After leaving school I had the opportunity to work in the Media, worked under Mrs Funmi Davies Farodoye on her then program “Wazobia plus” at Mitv. We moved to Ltv 8 in Ikeja to start another program, opportunity came again to work with PR Media on Afrima project in 2016. This was my journey plus my Food Business before i started my job as a Therapist in 2018.

I got married in 2015 and before Marriage Hubby and I lived miles apart. Away from the fact that as a religious person, the said distance caused a big issue for us. We got married and then I got to know i do not have the stamina I should have for Sex, by stamina, I meant urge. Pregnancy came and I couldn’t keep up with sex, was in and out of the hospital for almost all the period and when I finally put to bed it was through CS. I could remember vividly Hubby and I didn’t have sex for solid eight months after my first child, because he was scared I gave birth through CS, we didn’t know better. After this whole thing I realised we had both lost it, when he wanted sex, I don’t want, when I’m horny he’s not in the mood. Sooner than expected he got transfer to another state. That was another sour beginning in our sex life. We’d go month(s) without sex and physical touch. Then one day I talked to a friend about my predicament because i was tired. Then i heard worse, lol. She told me even her own husband that live with her is not touching her as expected that it’s marriage thing, we tend to get tired of ourselves because we see often (See finish syndrome). I knew there was more so i started doing my research and reading online. Then i found help and decided to start helping people with their sex life, because sex is not even the way some of us see it. Beyond the physical thrust and touch, sex is psychological. I started like a joke on my favorite social platform (Facebook) and today by God’s grace it’s become something I’m known for, added to the tutelage I received to prepare me for the journey.

How you can differentiate Love and Lust and how to sight a red flag

Love and Lust looks same but not the same and can never be same. And it will take God’s grace to know if a man truly want you with the intentions of marriage or just want to get laid. A man can pretend to be in love with you for months even years, pretending to be there for you and giving you everything they could afford just to get laid with you and after sex would desert you.

 

Testimonials

In almost two years of doing online and off-line Therapy sessions, I’ve had amazing testimonies. From teaching how to have a good and balanced sex life on Facebook, to having one on one session with couples and intending couples, the testimonies has been massive. One that stood out was this Lady with Female mutilation that sent me a mail this year, after few weeks of Online Therapy she’s doing so well in bed with her partner now. In her words “I’m glad i know you Mo, the World needs more people like you”.

 

Sex is Important to Marriage

Sex is very very very important in marriage. To have and live a good married life your sex life must be the bomb. Know what your partners want, varieties of sex styles, suitable times their body want sex. Keep exploring and compromise. When you’re not in the mood for sex, communicate with your partner. Sex is never too much and should not be too much

Sex as a factor of Divorce and Marriage

Sex carries 60% blames in high rate of separation and divorce in this time. I once had a Therapy session with a couple where the Man threatened to cheat on the wife if she doesn’t up her sex games. And when emotional issues like this comes in, problems abound. I tell Couples that their sex lives depends on both parties, like I said earlier, it’s all about what we both want and how we can reach an agreement. If it takes having a sex timetable to achieve your aim as a couple go ahead and whatever issues you feel you need to sort speak about it and seek professional help. Seek Therapy not Kayamata.

Safe Sex Nuggets

I tell people to discuss their sex history with new partner if the relationship would involve having sex to avoid stories that touch the nerves. Communication is key

°Use condom if you’re having sex with multiple partners to avoid STI’s or deadlier diseases.

°Be aware of your body and that of your partner, look for a sign or sores, blister, rash or discharge.

°Say no to drugs before sex, this might increase the chance that you will partake in high-risk sex.

Being a Woman of Rubies

Helping others find fulfilment in what seems difficult and not achievable is what make me a Woman of Rubies. I’m glad i found this path and I’m walking it.

To women who still don’t see sex as an integral part of marriage

My Final word for women who don’t see sex as an integral part of marriage is try as much as you can and give your best in sex aspect in your marriage. Whatever difficult you’re facing in that aspect, discuss with your partner and you both could find a solution to it. Sex can make or mar your marriage, the decision to hold on lies in our hands and between our thighs.

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BOLI LA’N TA WAS INSPIRED BY MY LOVE FOR ROASTED PLANTAIN- OMOLOLA KAYODE

Omolola Olanrewaju Kayode was born on June 17th 1995, an only child her late dad who died in 2010 but the last born for of her mother .

Omolola’s journey is one of resilience, determination and doggedness, From struggling to attend school from her young age to  sleeping in Ketu garage for 11months with her parents at the age of 6 . Her mum sold drinks at the entrance of Ketu Demurin bus park, which exposed her to brutality of all kinds, from being pursued by armed Mopols with whips, to them carting away with her goods. Lola’s mum raised her through this livelihood and this in no little way made Lola more determined to make something our of her life against all odds.

After her education, she started working as an auxiliary nurse to earn a living, but she thought to do something on the side to give back, and this informed her decision to go into the Roasted plantain business, populary known as “Boli”, a popular roadside snack in Nigeria, where the Plantain is roasted and sold with groundnut, and displayed stylishly on the local burner.

However, Lola decided to take her vision a step higher by creating  a full business venture called “Boli la’ n ta” ​, ​a wonderful snack eaten by both high and low income earners,  by packaging the plantain with stew and other delicious condiments , selling  to corporate workers and residents of high brow areas across Lagos, she also caters at parties and big events in Lagos.

Her story went viral on Facebook few weeks ago when several Nigerian celebrities posted their photos of them with Lola’s signature roasted plantain, this in no little gave her business and edge and made her motivated to keep pushing.

The wonderful budding entrepreneur who is hopeful her business will make more impact,and passion for animals and humanitarian work ​with me in this interview.

Childhood Influence

My childhood was a mix of love, fun, trials, hustles and strength. My mum carried me for 13months and 2weeks before finally being able to deliver me at a TBA’s facility, I never tasted breast milk because of how sick she got after my birth for a stretch of 6months as I was told. At the age of 5 we got homeless and the only choice of shelter we had was my Mum’s sales space at Ketu Garage , I would be laid  to sleep in the counter while my dad and mum would take turns to watch on the bench and once it’s 4am ,mum starts displaying her wares and dad takes me to the public bathroom to freshen me up for school . After 8months my parents were able to save up enough money for an apartment. I was born in a highly competitive environment; everyone wants to be ahead of the other and with such setting you can’t afford to slow down. My mum wakes up at 3:30 and sets out at 4a.m to Ketu market where she has a sales space and there are almost 10 people around her selling the same products, the earlier you resume the better for your business. I grew knowing that you must keep surviving no matter what odds comes your way .

Inspiration behind her business Boli La’n ta

Boli La’n Ta was inspired by my love for roasted plantain and the ringing mentality of growth. There was a day I was coming from Oshodi with some of my friends and we were hungry and needed to eat something, so I suggested we go for boli. We approached a woman selling it and she selected the ones we wanted, which she gave us with groundnut. “As she was selling, an idea dropped in me and I asked her, ‘Why can’t you sell ponmo and fish together with the boli?’ She responded she wouldn’t be able to do that as it would not attract buyers. At home, I woke up at about 2am and the only thing that kept coming into my mind was how to prepare and package boli differently.

My first pack of boli, earned me N700; the second with croaker fish fetched her N2,500. The orders starting going up from that moment.

Feedback since I started

The positive feedbacks and extreme support towards my business made me feel indescribably happy and more determined to sharpen my skills. Also, I make my customers understand my plantain is not carbonized, I visit the main plantain market to buy it but when I have a big order, I buy outside Lagos.

Challenges

Transportation and the market unexpected uprise.

Other passion

I am always happy whenever there’s an avenue for me to assist humans or animals, I believe a purposeful life is that lived by making others happy.  My inquisition made me love animals as I see all as pets, seeing beyond the physical features and carefully studying the works of God in them amuses me a lot . I also do a lot of humanitarian work with several notable Ngo’s, helping hopeless women and giving hope to street kids.

Advice to young female budding entrepreneurs

They mustn’t give up on their vision as no one would see those dreams come to life except they themselves. Contribute maximum strength focus and persistence towards the determination for success. They should channel all their energy towards standing out in their field of choice and not shiver from like brand’s pressure instead dare to be indomitable.

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