A 24-year-old South African woman, Busisiwe Mhlongo has been battling depression and PSTD as a result of repeated sexual abuse by her uncle’s son.
Taking to Facebook on November 22, Busisiwe, opened up for the first time and narrated how her uncle’s son had raped her vaginally and anally from age 10, when she was in grade 4 to grade 6. She didn’t tell anyone because the young man threatened to kill her with Ratex (rat poison)
Ever since the incident, Busisiwe had been struggling mentally and emotionally and tried to take her own life several times. Read her story as she shared on Facebook below.
Some of my family members will be shocked but hey I am tired of keeping this secret because it is making me to be sick but here it goes My Name is Busisiwe Mhlongo and I am 24 years old… born in 1994/09/18 ♥?… in 2004 I was staying at my Uncles house in Harding,KZN..his First born son (we call him Sphamo) who was 17/18 years at that time would call me to his room and rape me (I was 10 years old).. this started when I doing grade 4 until I was doing grade 6, around June because that’s when I had my periods for the first time but he did Rape me Vaginally and anally. he did a lot of things that I wouldn’t like to re-iterate here.. I stayed with someone who sexually abused me and I didn’t tell anyone because he said he was going to kill me with Ratex. I kept that secret until this year cause I was struggling mentally and emotionally, Back in February I attempted to commit suicide, overdosed pills-in April I overdosed pills again- In June I starved myself hoping to die- in August I overdosed pills again- in September I attempted to jump out my Res but the security saw me and I couldn’t cause he said Jump I will catch you- in October I started cutting myself from my hand to my elbow and if I feel like the razor isn’t sharp enough I would get another one- I did it until it was beyond my control and I was admitted and of course Psychiatry Ward was my ward,stayed there for weeks and was diagnosed with depression and PSTD….Generally if you know me- I am a Happy person and I love everything about everyone, to be diagnosed with depression was heavy for me and the medication is just too much. My mom and my other family members are aware of this now that have done drastic things. I have never got a call from my cousin say he is sorry. What he did to me was damaging physically, emotionally and sexually. He robbed me my childhood and virginity, I will never be able to know what it’s like to be a child because of the things he did to me, he used a baby oil so that his penis would go in, he would put baby inside me so I can be “wet for him”. He did it for 3 years and he was never satisfied. I have been struggling to even wake up in the morning and eat, let alone to trust a man, I am struggling to believe that I will be fine because depression is not a fly by night thing I am living with depression and PSTD…………. I have lost everything you can think of and if I win this battle – it’s game over for my cousin! I am coming for everything and I know this wil be a lot of drama but I am not going to protect a rapist…
With banners and slogans against sexism and related crimes, thousands protested in Spanish cities on Sunday to mark international day for the elimination of violence against women.
Protesters took to the streets in Madrid, Barcelona, Sevilla, Valencia, and Bilbao, reflecting how the fight to stop violence against woman has become a national cause in Spain.
“We are here for all those women who have been murdered, in Madrid and in Spain. We are taking it very personally,” said Rosa Orea at the Madrid rally.
Since 2003, 972 women have been killed by their partners or ex-partners in Spain, 44 of those so far in 2018, according to government figures.
“The situation has changed for our generation, but we have to keep fighting, because this (violence) happens more than it seems,” said Sofia Serrano a Madrid student.
» moreSince 2003, 972 woman have been killed by their partners or ex-partners in Spain, 44 of those so far in 2018, according to government figures (AFP)
Violence against women has been a key political cause in Spain since 2004 when new laws were introduced against the crime.
Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez on Sunday reinterated his government’s “commitment” to eradicate violence against women and “culture” of sexism.
Ramona J. Smith is an international award-winning public speaker, who prominently holds the prestigious title of the 2018 World Champion of Public Speaking. She is a powerhouse, one who was unmatched by the 30,000 people she surpassed to reign in the world championship title. She is an educator, speaker, author, blogger and poet. Ramona’s captivating speeches inspire audiences around the world. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Public Relations with a minor in Marketing, graduating Magna Cum Laude from the prestigious Baldwin Wallace University in northeast Ohio. Ramona is the mother of miracle boy Ryan, and they reside in Houston, Texas.
In her words; “When you are in the ring of life, you will face some challenges,” “You are going to get hit, you will be punched, you will be bruised. Even though you fall down and stumble, all you have to do is find whatever strength lies within you or outside you from family, friends, faith, your mentors and coaches to help pull you back up. ”
The Houston high school teacher shares her inspiring story with me in this interview
Childhood Influence
Yes. As a child I loved being in the spotlight. I would perform at talent shows; I was in the drama club, and the poetry club. I have never had a fear of public speaking. As a child, I would always fantasize about being on the stage versus sitting in the audience.
Meet Me!
I am a secondary teacher in Houston, Texas. I teach Child Development and Human Growth & Development. I have a handsome, smart and athletic son named Ryan who is currently six years old. I love to travel, read, write, and meet new people.
Being the 2018 world champion of public speaking
I am a member of an organization called Toastmasters International. Every year since 1938, the organization has held an international speech contest. This year over 30,000 members competed at the first level of the contest. Out of 30,000 contestants, the top 10 in the world compete at the finals and the judges vote for the World Champion. I am the first woman to win since 2008, the second African-American woman to win in the history of the contest, and the only fifth woman to win the title since women could compete in the 1970’s.
Public speaking
I have been a public speaker for eight years. I am The Ladybug Speaker. I have spoken to thousands of people all across the globe, from the United States to the United Arab Emirates. I will be launching my business the Ladybug Speaker LLC, in order to become a full-time professional speaker.
What made me Win
Practice, feedback, and originality were three keys to my feat. After every speech contest, I met with other highly qualified Toastmasters in my district for feedback. I tweaked the “little things” and was open to constructive criticism. I practiced my speeches endlessly in order to have a smooth and natural delivery. And most importantly, I wrote my own speeches. They are from my personal life experiences. When I get on stage I’m not afraid of “looking stupid.” I went in front of 2,000 people and made a complete fool of myself with my horrible boxing moves. Yet, the audience connected with me because of my authenticity and transparency.
Challenges
Currently, my biggest challenge is starting my speaking business from the ground up. I have to learn as I go. I have to learn from trial and error. I will have to research and implement marketing strategies, create a business model, and a schedule. I will have to build a team and figure out how to successfully build my business and my brand.
Other Project and Activities
I am the author of the inspirational book for women “Shine Sistah Shine.” I am finalizing my E-Book, which gives readers my top ten public speaking tips. I am preparing for my next world tour where I will be visiting Sri Lanka, India, Kuwait and Bahrain. I am creating new and exciting workshops and webinars for my clients.
Ramona J. Smith, 2018 Toastmasters World Champion of Public Speaking (PRNewsfoto/Toastmasters International)
Reward
The greatest reward I have receive is hearing about the goals my clients achieve after hearing me speak, reading my book, or having a one on one coaching session with me. It is rewarding transforming lives by sharing my gifts with the world.
In five years…
In five years, I will be 36. I see myself finishing my Master’s degree and starting my PhD. I see myself married with another child. I see my brand being successful and growing internationally. I see myself having a podcast or a series or documentary. I see myself acting in movies and doing more live poetry. I see myself writing more books, and speaking in hundreds of countries to millions of people.
Almost gave it all up
Yes. In 2012, my son was two years old. He was unexpectedly diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor. He had to undergo three brain surgeries and 30 rounds of radiation treatment. I felt like giving up on life because I blamed myself. No mother wants to see her child going through something like that. However, God healed him. God healed me. We are both happy and thriving today, and my son is four years cancer free.
Who and what inspire me to be better
My son inspires me to be better. Before I had the responsibility of being a mom, I was lost and rudderless. Once I knew I would be responsible for another human being (especially as an unwed mother), I knew I had to turn my life around and get back on track. When my son was six weeks old, I re-enrolled in college and have since earned two degrees. I have to be my best because I am his example.
Reception
The reception has been phenomenal! I am a well sought after speaker, because I have the title of World Champion of Public Speaking. This makes me an expert in my field, and people are seeking my advice, opinions, and wisdom. I feel like I am truly a global citizen because I have the opportunity to speak all across the globe.
What makes you a woman of Rubies
I am a Woman of Rubies because I am a precious stone. I was a diamond in the rough, yet now I am shining bright. I am regal like a pearl, and timeless like an emerald. I am deep like garnet, and as strong as sapphire. I have become a warrior, a fighter, and a survivor. I have allowed the pressure, damage, and destruction of life to transform me into a limitless being. I am a mother, a giver of life, and a creator.
Appreciation for women in public speaking
I do not think women in any line of work are appreciated, as we should be. In regards to the field of speaking, it is still primarily male dominated. Fortunately, this year three women of color took the top three championship spots in the contest. Women are making strides in this field, and will continue to do so.
Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana released the video on Facebook, apologising for the ad which resulted in the cancellation of the brand’s show in China on Wednesday.
“In the face of our cultural misunderstanding, we hope that we can earn your forgiveness,” Domenico said.
“We will never forget this experience and lesson, and this sort of thing will never happen again,” Stefano said.
The Kafin-Hausa Local Government Area (LGA) of Jigawa has reveals plans to sponsor the wedding of 50 women who are orphans and less- privileged.
The LGA Chairman, Alhaji Garba Abdullahi, disclosed this while inaugurating a 10 member committee for the conduct of the marriages on Friday in Kafin-Hausa.
He said the LGA was directed by the State Government to assist the orphans by sponsoring their wedding, considering the high cost of the ceremony.
Responding, the committee’s chairman, Alhaji Abdulkadir Zakari, thanked Abdullahi for the appointment and pledged to discharge his duties with fear of God.
Members of the committee include Alhaji Muhammad Musa, Alhaji Muhammad Umar and Imamu Hassan, the Chief Imam of Kafin-Hausa among others.
A 68-year old Makueni woman who sat for the Kenya Certificate of Primary (KCPE) exam in 2018 has announced she will proceed to join secondary school irrespective of her age.
Veronica Kaleso sat for the final primary education test at Unoa Primary School and scored 143 marks alongside her 13-year-old granddaughter who beat her by scoring 385 marks in the same exam whose results were released on Monday, November 19.
Kaleso could not hide her joy after scoring the marks which she said surpassed her expectations.
Veronica Kaleso who was a KCPE candidate at Unoa primary school scored 143 marks out of the maximum possible 500.
“I am happy with my results because I did not expect to score those marks, remember I’m old and determined to proceed with education’‘, she said.
The mother of 10 and grandmother of 24 who studied from home despite having registered at Unoa Primary School in Kenya, said she had began plans to ensure she joins high school in 2019 to advance her studies.
“I am determined to join secondary school and perform better. If I excel four years, later I will not hesitate to join university. That is my dream and my age won’t hinder me,” she said.
Kaleso said she dropped out of school when she was a standard five pupil at Kyamuthei Primary School in 1969 for lack of fees.
Speaking in English, a language she said she had begun to master, Kaleso said she went back to school in order to manage her workers who used to take advantage of her illiteracy to swindle resources from her farm. “I am a farm manager and I normally lose a lot of money since my employees and customers steal from me. They take advantage of my illiteracy,” said Kaleso.
A Nigerian woman, Omotade Alalade, and her husband have welcomed a set of twins after many failed IVFs. In a post on her Instagram page, Omotade shared her testimony. Read below
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After spending more than N11 million on IVF treatments my husband and I finally complete our family with a set of twins. @tadealalade has TWINSSS ooooo ??. This post would be too long if I start going into details on what I’ve been through trying to conceive. It’s bad enough I more or less had no choice but to conceive through IVF but when you start having multiple miscarriages and having to deal with the fact that my husband and I are AS, it takes my journey to another level.
I found out we were both AS after we got married (I’m still trying to decide if it would have made a difference if I found out before). The amount of tears I cried during my journey can fill an ocean. Majority of the tears came when I lost a set of twins (boy and girl) late in a pregnancy. That was when I truly knew what depression was. Now my lord God finally completes my family with a set of twins. TWINSSSSS ???. Gosh my God is too awesome!!! He can truly move mountains. Absolutely nothing is too big for him. I cry every time I realise how merciful the lord is. I pray every single married woman experiences the kind of joy I’m feeling. Thank you Father ??????????
Kerry Donovan, Tammy Story, Faith Winter, Jessie Danielson and Brittany Pettersen, “The Fab Five,” are all longtime friends, serving as bridesmaids in each other’s weddings, and now they’ve all been elected as state senators in Colorado.
The women supported each other during their campaign, Winter shared while speaking to People. She said:
Through the campaign, the five of us were very supportive of each other. We had several text chains where we would check in with one another and see how we were doing.”
If a particularly bad ad or piece of mail came out. We would reassure each other on the text chain, “Have you seen the mail? It’s so awful, how are you doing?”
Danielson shared that the wins were “pretty amazing,” and her and her friends “were all in it together.”
Donovan discussed how it was important to have friends who were going through the same struggles, who could relate with the difficult parts of the journey.
Our families are incredibly supportive, but it’s not their name on the thousands of pieces of mail going out or on the TV. So being able to talk to them, and they are going through the exact same thing, it was so supportive.
“Smile when that smile can be returned…” she said, barely containing her tears.
This was earlier in the week when Lydia, a Kenyan acquaintance shared with a number of us the story of her life. Married in 1998, and blessed with two daughters soon after, the first curve ball off left field came in the shape of meningitis. She found herself bedridden, with no brain functions, no sight, no mobility. “I was a cabbage,” she said, recalling over half a year in hospital spent with no improvement and no hope of recovery.
Eight months after her admission, with insurance payments running out, she had to be moved back home. “I knew I was in familiar surroundings, but not much else. I still couldn’t see my husband or my children,” she said of the time. Until one day praying with neighbourhood women who had come to support her, her vision came back all of a sudden. Then she realised, even with some difficulty, she could move. She called her husband to break the good news.
Then for months, she worked on rebuilding a broken life. Slowly she regained her speech, her mobility, her life. Once an eloquent speaker on international platforms, she had to go back to school to learn the basics of the English language.
Just when she was back on her feet, hard at work, in November 2002, she had another health scare where she spent two weeks in hospital. At this point, not certain whether she would regress, she had already started planning for her death. “I even had picked my husband’s next wife for after I’d died,” she jokes, “I told him, a year after my death, he should marry her. I also told him she had better treat my daughters well or I would come and haunt them from beyond the grave.”
Yet life had another card up her sleeve. She was blindsided just two weeks after, death calling at her door in a way she had not expected.
“It was a public holiday that day,” she recalls, “I’d woken up early to see my husband off. He was going to a village for business. This time around he didn’t tell me where he was going. He assured me he would be back in late afternoon and we could go out for dinner in the evening. I had an uneasy feeling, as if I wanted to run after his car and stop him, but I thought I was being foolish and went back to sleep.”
She woke up again at 9am with a bad headache and an even worse feeling in her gut, but it wasn’t until noon she would get a call from the police asking her to come to the mortuary to identify her husband. He was killed in a car crash soon after 9am.
“At 8am I was a wife,” she says, “At 9am I wasn’t.” Death had caught her unaware. It was another decade of building her life, raising her kids singlehandedly while shutting the outside world out, battling in grief and finding solace in long hours in the office, all the while questioning her faith and asking God, “Why me?” Today, she knows the lesson and she shares so generously.
“Smile when your smile can be returned. Give flowers when they can be received. Show someone you care when they are there. And ladies, appreciate your husbands when you have them.”
Isn’t there such power in those words? By the time she was finished telling her story, there was not a dry eye in the room. Not just because we felt her pain, but also because she was like any one of us. Any one of us could have gone to sleep on Friday, or a Saturday or any other given day a wife, and woken up an hour later a widow. A daughter, then not. A sister, then not. A mother… and in a spilt second not. Such is the threadbare line that is life, with death lurking in the nooks and crannies ready to jump on us and break that line, throwing into ricochet all the things we hold true about ourselves and our loved ones.
So, in Lydia’s words, “Smile when that smile can be returned…”
In her book, Mrs. Obama discusses the liberating nature of her post-White House experience and how being a Black girl growing up on the South Side of Chicago helped her even when it may have caused some struggle. She shared her opinion on the weight of the Black-woman-as-savior trope with the publication.
“As for why the world sometimes looks to Black women—and I have to say that I wish the world turned to Black women more often than it does—I think it’s because we’ve got a perspective all our own,” the former first lady told EBONY. “If you’re growing up Black and female, you can’t help but really learn what’s going on down on the ground. You’re going to see a lot of the bottoms of people’s shoes coming down on you, so you learn to be nimble and resourceful.”
Mrs. Obama said the treatment of Black women leads them to be more grateful for what they have and be more optimistic about change. Living as an overlooked group compels Black women to be more sympathetic to the struggles of others.
“The trick is we need more people who are willing to listen to Black women, especially young Black women, to lift up our voices rather than shutting us out,” she added.
