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In self development February 16, 2019 By Women of Rubies

CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE’S BOOK ‘AMERICANAH’ RECOMMENDED AS ONE OF ‘THE BEST LOVE STORIES IN LITERATURE’ ON TODAY SHOW

Buzzfeed Books‘ founding editor, Isaac Fitzgerald has recommended Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s book, Americanah as one of “the best love stories in literature”.

Fitzgerald, who appeared recently on Today Show alongside author Jasmine Guillory, nominated Adichie’s work while selecting his four picks.

Each of the show’s attendees selected four books apiece, while presenter Savannah Guthrie added extra three picks.

Adichie’s work was recommended alongside Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Remains of the Day, Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte amongst others.

Credit: Bella Naija

In Interviews&profile February 16, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

I LEARNT NEVER TO ALLOW MY CIRCUMSTANCES INHIBIT MY GROWTH- JENNIFER CHINONYE UMEH

Like a phoenix, Jennifer is rising from the ashes of adversity and inspiring others to do so through her story. As a survivor of Domestic Violence, she believes that girls and young women access to education and health service is fundamental for sustainable development in Nigeria. Jennifer grew up in a broken home with rough experiences of abuse and neglect. Her parent divorced Nine months after her birth in Eastern Nigeria. Her Father showed no interest towards her education.

She was raised by her single mum, grand mother, uncles, aunties, and people. As a girl filled with many ambitions despite her experiences. she was determined to further her education. Today, Jennifer Umeh is a graduate of Mass communication from The Federal Polytechnic Offa. The pioneer of Hope for African Girls Initiative (HAGi) an organisation founded to Educate Girls to be empowered enough to stand up for themselves and to discover their self-identity through quality education and empowerment. She is also the founder of a fast-growing clothing brand that has received massive support from Nigerians on social media since inception . A vision that was born out of her bullying experience as an undergraduate. She shares the story of her rise from the ashes to glory in this interview

Growing up

I was raised by my single mum, grand mother, uncles, aunties, and people. As a girl filled with many ambitions despite my experiences. I was determined to further my education. With my decision making ability, i believed that if i could go to school, I could gain knowledge and skills access limitless opportunities and reach my potentials in life. As a survivor of Domestic Violence, I believe that girls and young women access to education and health service is fundamental for sustainable development in Nigeria. I grew up in a broken home with rough experiences of abuse and neglect. My parent divorced Nine months after my birth in Eastern Nigeria. My Father showed no interest towards my education, Coping With the Status Quo. I must say that even though my background is not pleasant, it stirred up such compassion for those from similar backgrounds. When I was 10years, I finally went to stay with my mum and her husband (step father) supporting her with my siblings as the eldest. All of this built a resilience within me, strengthened my heart and reminds me daily that ‘I can’! I can do anything I set my mind to. I can be the best version of Chinonye that there will ever be. I can achieve. I can inspire. Regardless of my background. We know that seeds grow best in the dirt. My background may have been messy, dirty, whatever we want to call it, but it provided the best environment for the seed within me to grow and produce more seeds to encourage others! I learnt never to allow my circumstances to inhibit my growth as a person at all! If I have a goal, I will go for it.

Meet Me!

I am a 23 year old lady, I recently graduated from The Federal Polytechnic Offa, Kwara with a Higher National Diploma in Mass communication. I am now a corps member serving at Umuokanne Comprehensive Secondary school, Ohaji, Egbema in Imo State.

I am the pioneer of Hope for African Girls Initiative (HAGi) an award winning Organisation founded to Educate Girls to be empowered enough to stand up for themselves and to discover their self-identity through quality education and empowerment.

My skills include Public speaking, Teaching, Writing, Counselling and Leadership. I am a Campus Correspondent with The Nation Newspaper and Mentor a Girl Child Fellow , Educate a girl Scholar and a fellow of Nigeria students leaders program. In 2016, my projects won the best community development project of the year organized by SLAM initiative. Recently, I was awarded the African Youth Academy Service Award, for my selfless service and contribution towards the development of young African Leaders and was granted the designation of a FELLOW of African Youth Academy. I recently launched a clothing line called Blinky Creative Collections.

H.A.G.I

I started a non-profit organization called Hope for African Girls Initiative in 2016 to transform the lives of marginalized community girls through quality education and empowerment. Our work is to promote creative learning by providing platforms for girls and young women to explore and develop their innovative ideas. Since inception, we have been able to groom young women to be responsible citizens who can actively participate and communicate with the world in a spirit of compassion.

My mission is to foster an educated and compassionate new generation of young African Girls who will use their education to improve their lives, help their country and contribute to the world to help maintain peace and prosperity for all. My focus is on educating the girls and also educating their families and communities and improving their support system.

My Inspiration

The inspiration was after I attended the ‘Educate a Girl Nigeria’ workshop in Lagos. The workshop was an eye-opener for me as I became aware of too many illicit behaviours bedeviling the girl-child around the world such as child marriage, sexual assault, violence against girls, and lack of access to education, among others. I saw the need to help young people, I desired to speak out so that my voice to be heard. I said to myself, if only my voice could change the status quo of girls in Africa, why should I hold back. I approached some NGOs indicating my interest to serve as a volunteer. But to ensure I have a louder voice and a wider reach, I founded Hope for African Girls Initiative (HAGi) at the beginning of this year. As an undergraduate then, I was motivated to work in places where I could contribute and provide value. I have performed excellently in different roles like taking care of children in my church, and taking up leadership positions in my school and any organization I found myself.

Launching a clothing line

As an undergraduate, life was good. I was more extroverted, I made new friends. Although, it was also a time of bullying for me. I blink frequently when I speak. I never got bullied over it. People who know me or have met me before understand how my eyes work while I talk, even if most times, I try to control it.

In my 300 level in school, I was faced with the challenge of speaking up for what is right, even when over 200 students in my class refused to talk because of fear and intimidation from lecturers. But I decided to speak up that day to the chagrin of the naysayers even if my voice made no difference to the situation.

After that, the friends of the guy who was involved in this case formed a gang against me. They made mockery of me in class. I couldn’t walk in peace on campus without being bullied by those guys. And as days passed, their gang multiplied with fans. The bullying continued in different WhatsApp groups and while lectures went on.

The group dissed me right in my face. I was heartbroken and I didn’t know what to do. But it was only the beginning. The group tormented me. They named me Blinky-Blinky. They called me terrible names – some, curse words – and spread sexual rumours about me. I almost became insane that when I got back from school one day, I ran to my room and cried. I stayed in my room and drowned in tears for hours. That was when I decided to take the law into my hands with the help of a friend who stood up for me whenever I was bullied. He encouraged me to report to the security unit before it went out of hand. I did so and the guys were picked up by the school security. It was never intentional but these things were out of my control. Many students face trauma like this but they have no way of handling it; they end up becoming losers. I finally felt good knowing that I had a voice. Most of my course mates were so proud of me for the move. I was with new friends who liked me for who I was. But I knew the fight was not finished. One day the worst happened; I was bullied right in the lecture hall when a lecture was going on. As one of them shouted ‘Blinky,’ they laughed and distracted the lecture. I could do nothing but allow the tears from my eyes. When I got home that day, I thought of the best way to deal my bullies.

I customised T-shirts and wore them to school. I gave some to my friends to put on. On the T-shirts read, Blinky Smart, Blinky Beauty, Blinky Money, Blinky Blinky, Bullying Ends With Me, Blink Against Bullying, etc.

My T-shirts garnered some fans. I sold them not only to my course mates but to my friends on Facebook. Boom! It became a business. I was happy as I was making money from it. I started helping people to customise their shirts for free. I did both free and paid jobs depending on who I was dealing with.

I went the market where they sold hand-me-downs and selected the good ones. At home I washed them, ironed them, customised and sold to friends. The demands got higher as people asked for something better. I pitched my idea on Facebook about my interest in shirts business and I was lucky to get selected by Edu Shine Foundation. I was funded with fifty thousand naira to support my business. I registered for printing training where I learnt more about shirt printing and branding. I graduated from using hand-me-down T-shirts for my customers to using jersey. But today, my shirts are brand new, 100% cotton material with warranty.

The business helped me a lot to overcome my bullies. I did not just overcome them; I have made money to pay my remaining fees and for my needs as a student. I have assisted two of my friends to pay their tuition, too.

When I got bullied then, I got offended and asked God to take my life. Do you know how it feels to be bullied by the same group of people with a specific motive? Most nights I felt like crying my eyes out. I asked myself, Just because I blink my eyes frequently when I talk, does that mean I am not equal to others? I tried to control the blinking but I can’t cheat nature. I never created myself. God did.

Blink against Bullying Project

I recently launched a campaign Blink against bullying. It’s a campaign to eradicate all forms of bullying and empower the victims with knowledge as weapons to fight back against oppression. I am currently running a 30 days self-esteem challenge for Students of Umuokanne Comprehensive Secondary School in Imo State, the program is designed to raise the self-esteem of young females in Africa and around the world. It is aimed at emboldening females to self belief, imagine and pursue a future of greatness. To achieve this goal, we have developed a 30 day self esteem handbook containing 30 inspiring stories of African Females from different ages, background and cultures who defied odds and societal stereotypes to achieve greatness and their dreams.

My brand in the next five years..

In five years, I want to be able to get bigger contract from big companies and organisations. I want to own a big fashion house, where I can print all kind of T-shirts, Polos , Hoodie with no restrictions. I want to champion the war against bullying by making different designs of beautiful Tees that people can order on our website and rock to promote the fight against bullying.

Challenges

I had many challenges running my new enterprise, from being confused about if my business was worth focusing on to how to get new customers and grown the business larger, to dealing with branding with people’s feedback on what I was going.

Tara Durotoye is my biggest Inspiration

Tara Fela Durotoye inspires me. She started house of Tara in 1998 at the age of 20 from her living room, as an undergraduate at Lagos State University. Sometimes she would go from house to house to makeup for brides. But today she has one of the biggest and the first makeup school in Nigeria. She worked hard for it. I am really inspired by her story.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am a woman of Rubies because I share similar stories, challenges, pains and scars with other women in Africa trying to make a difference and live a life of true meaning. I am a woman of rubies because I care about helping girls and young women to be better

Advice to young women

I just want to encourage women who are going through some similar experience. It gets better. It can be hard. You want to give up. But you have to be confident. Don’t let it get to you. If you’re suffering, it will get to the time that you’ll be proud of yourself for all that you’ve been through. If anyone judges you, it is their own problem. They have no idea what you go through. Do they even care? They probably can’t even handle what you deal with. But you can. And you’re still here going on with your life. That’s why you can be proud of yourself.

Business line : 08139743651

Facebook : Blinky Creative Collections

Twitter and instagram : @Blinkycollections

Email : Blinkycollections@gmail.com

Website : www.blinkycollections.com

In Career Gems February 15, 2019 By Women of Rubies

JAPANESE WOMEN REBEL AGAINST OLD VALENTINE’S DAY TRADITION THAT MANDATES THEM TO GIVE CHOCOLATES TO MEN

Japanese women are rebelling against a decades-old Valentine’s Day tradition that mandates them to give chocolates to men.

According to the tradition, on February 14, the nation’s female workers are expected to give “giri choco,” or obligation chocolates, to their male colleagues. Women are also expected to buy heartfelt chocolates, “honmei choco,” for their crushes or loved one.

“Valentine’s Day (in Japan) got turned upside down to become a symbol of the Japanese patriarchy,” said Jeff Kingston, a Japan expert at Temple University in Tokyo. But this year, women are calling time on the financially draining practice.

A recent survey by a Tokyo department store found about 60 per cent of women will instead buy chocolates for themselves on Valentine’s Day. Only 35 per cent planned to offer chocolates to their male colleagues.

Japan began celebrating Valentine’s Day in 1958, after Japanese confectionery firm Mary Chocolate ran a campaign suggesting that women give men chocolates. In the 1980s, chocolate companies attempted to redress the chocolate buying balance.

Women in Japan are rebelling against a decades-old Valentine

White Day was introduced on March 14 as a date for men to return the favor although Kingston says that women often ended up gifting more chocolates than they received. Both dates turned out to be a boon for the chocolate industry. Valentine’s Day now accounts for a quarter of Japan’s yearly chocolate sales, according to the Nagoya International Center.

Last Saturday, the Revolutionary Alliance of Unpopular People (RAUP) staged its 12th annual protest against “romantic capitalism” in Tokyo.

“We’re against companies exploiting events like Valentine’s Day to push excessive consumer culture and guilt-trip people who aren’t in relationships,” said Takeshi Akimoto, a member of the tiny fringe group, comprised of nine students and workers. One of the group’s complaints is that Valentine’s Day chocolates in the workplace can make some employees feel that their value is determined by how much confectionery they receive.

Credit: LIB

In self development February 15, 2019 By Women of Rubies

“YOU WILL NOT HEAL BY GOING BACK TO WHAT BROKE YOU” -DABOTA LAWSON

Beauty entrepreneur, Dabota Lawson in a post shared on her Instagram page, advised people with broken relationships not force it because of the pressures which Valentine’s day brings.

She wrote;

You will not heal by going back to what broke you . Don’t send that text and don’t make that call ,Love yourself and Ignore the pressure of today. Happy Valentine’s day

See more photos below.

Credit: LIB

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In Interviews&profile February 15, 2019 By Women of Rubies

FROM MAKING BEATS IN HER DORM ROOM TO WRITING GRAMMY AWARD WINNING SONGS FOR CARDI B AND BEYONCE, 21-YEAR-OLD NIJA CHARLES INSPIRES

The 2015 Union Township High School graduate wrote the hooks for several Cardi B hits, including“Ring” with Kehlani, and equally wrote two songs for Jay Z and Beyonce’s Grammy-winning album“Everything Is Love”

Nija Charles, was born on October 20, 1997. She began her professional music career in 2017 writing songs for Beyonce and Jay-Z, Cardi B and Kehlani, Jason Derulo and Chris Brown.

She is signed to Universal Music Publishing Group of Music at NYU, producers were sending her music to write to.

Nija started out making beats from her dorm room and has written for Beyoncé and Cardi B and works with some of the top producers in the game.

Watch her share her story below:

Credit: fabwoman.ng

In self development February 15, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

HOW TO STAY POSITIVE AFTER BREAKING UP

As you fall more and more in love, there’s a chance something will come along that sabotages this connection. Maybe it’s a communication issue, or something more serious, such as infidelity or family problems. No matter how hard the couple tries to salvage the relationship, it can still ultimately end in a breakup…and heartache.

Depending on why you and your love broke up, here are tips to feeling positive and as happy as possible after your relationship ends:

Breaking up because you’re incompatible

Many relationships end because the couple is not compatible in one or more ways. Maybe you want marriage but he doesn’t. Maybe he’s not willing to move for your work. Whatever the reason, coming to a point where you realize you both just aren’t compatible usually occurs after the infatuation stage starts to fade. You both realize that the kisses and handholding was really all there was to this relationship.

You’ll undoubtedly feel like breaking up was the best option, but you’ll still feel heartbroken. Here are ways to heal after breaking off an incompatible relationship:

Relax and realize the breakup is no one’s fault – some people are not meant to be together.

Make your life exciting again by getting back into your hobbies and interests (and finding new ones).

When friends or family ask about the relationship, don’t talk negatively about your former parter. Simply explain why you broke up, then change the subject.

It will take time to heal, but knowing that the relationship wouldn’t have worked anyway will help you feel positive.

Ending a miserable relationship

If the relationship is miserable, breaking up is the right thing to do. It can still take its toll on one or both people because it wasnt all bad. A miserable relationship can mean many things: maybe you need more independence or just can’t stand being around someone who is so negative.

Even if the relationship was miserable, there were parts that made you happy which will make the breakup tough. Be sure to do the following to heal after breaking off a miserable relationship:

Lean on family and friends and accept their kind words.

Avoid more misery by giving in or begging the other person to change.

Find a passion that will replace being miserable. Some people may enjoy volunteering and others may want to get a pet.

When infidelity ends a relationship

One of the most common causes of a breakup is because of infidelity. If one partner was unfaithful and the other has a difficult time forgiving, a breakup usually follows. The person who was unfaithful needs to take responsibility and figure out how to prevent this from happening again in future relationships. The person who remained faithful should learn from the experience without developing bitterness that will prevent a happy, loving relationship after taking time to heal.

Here are ways to stay positive after breaking off an unfaithful relationship:

Never take the blame for the other person being unfaithful. If there was a problem, it should have been discussed and not “solved” by seeking love outside the relationship.

Take stock of personal, positive attributes – learn to see the good in yourself.

Get support from counseling.

Build an ego without being too self-centered. This may involve taking a class and learning something new or getting a makeover.

Make (and achieve) personal and positive goals.

After a breakup, everyone needs time to heal. Whether the relationship ended because of incompatibility, being miserable or infidelity, it’s a good idea to focus on personal positives before getting involved in another relationship. Use these tips to help you heal, stay positive and move past your heartbreak.

Source: https://familyshare.com/27456/how-to-stay-positive-after-breaking-up

In self development February 15, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASILELE MUNYANDI: PITY PARTIES (MY KIND OF PARTY)

It was 5 o’clock in the morning of July in 2008,my good friend joy called me to inform me that acca had released results for our June sitting, and she was so excited because of all four papers we sat for ,she cleared all. I was so happy for her and at the same time, a great deal of anxiety filled my whole system. Lying on my bed I couldn’t wait for 8 o’clock so I could go to the nearest café and check for my results. That semester I sat for three papers and I cleared one only, I remember sitting in the internet café ,wondering what to do from that point, how I would break the news to my parents, how I would tell my friends I had failed when they all had cleared their exams.it tore me apart and pushed me into a kind of frustration that awarded me an opportunity to throw the biggest party ever, “the pity party”

I remember how for almost a month all I could do was wonder why me, I felt it was unfair because according to me, I had put in my very best and I deserved to clear, I shut out every possible help to pick myself up and think of the way forward, it was like no one understood what I was going through but myself, I looked at every one as though all they did was mock me and not see my frustration. For a moment I really felt I was entitled to all hurt and pain and everyone should let me enjoy it because it was my pain and hurt, no matter how long it took, I should be left alone in it.

Pity parties may seem ok, and the world knows a woman for hosting the best ones….hahahaha ,but truth be told, we are living in a time where invitations to a pity party are never accepted, cry it out, but wake up, dress up and start over, we live in times where we are constantly reminded that the world owes us nothing, hence when we fall, even on our faces, we need to find courage, and pace to move forward, for those that hurt or disappoint us, for all those that betray us, not even when we feel we need the apology ,will it always come, what we need is to find a place within yourself to dust yourself up and rise up, push until your circumstance move. I recall receiving a call from a friend I least expected, and the question that made me put myself together and get back to the drawing board was, who do you expect to apologize for your failure? And who do you expect to make it right if you won’t own up and do the right thing???i remember their words often when I feel low or rather want to give up, i remember he said, the world owes you no apology nor sympathy, if you need change, there is still a great chance to study hard and make it, but if the music at your pity parties is enjoyable, know you will party yourself into failure and serious depression.

Ladies, we need to get out of our entitlement mode and be willing to put in the hard work, we need to stop expecting the world around us to always understand our plight, mediocrity is slowly being dealt away with, and soon, not even

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

In Career Gems February 14, 2019 By Women of Rubies

RARE LEOPARD – ‘BLACK PANTHER’ – SPOTTED IN AFRICA FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 100 YEARS

A team of biologists have released photos of a rare melanistic leopard, also called the Black Panther, which was shot in the bushlands of Loisaba Conservancy in Laikipia County in Kenya.

Nick Pilfold and his team, after hearing that there’s a black wildcat lurking in the are, deployed remote cameras to capture the big cat.

According to National Geographic, the juvenile female was spotted traveling with a larger, normally coloured leopard, presumed to be her mother.

There is a mild controversy as to whether it’s the first time the cat is being seen since a 1909 photograph taken in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Kenya’s Daily Nation newspaper said a similar photograph was taken in 2013 byPhoebe Okall, but Pilfold and his team say otherwise.

These new photos were captured by wildlife photographer Will Burrard Lucas.

Pilford told CNN that he’s “aware of a few different photos taken over the years, but most of them are taken from a distance and could not be used as confirmatory evidence.”

According to Pilford, Okall’s photo “is a captive black leopard that was brought from America as a kitten to Kenya, not wild.”

The photos were published in January in the African Journal of Ecology.

Speaking on why the leopard is black, Lucas told BBC:

The term that makes them black is called melanism and it’s the same thing that makes a house cat black, or any other cat species.

It’s kind of like albino but the other way.

A black panther is basically a melanistic big cat. Typically in Africa and Asia that would mean a melanistic leopard – a black leopard.

In South America it would be a melanistic jaguar – a black jaguar.

Black panther is a looser term.

See more photos below:

Photo Credit: San Diego Zoo

Credit: Bella Naija

In self development February 14, 2019 By Women of Rubies

“A LOT OF RELATIONSHIPS HAVE DIED BECAUSE WE NOW HAVE BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR PHONES THAN WITH PEOPLE” -TOYIN ABRAHAM

Nollywood actress, Toyin Abraham described people in this century as a generation that don’t want a real relationship, in a thought provoking IG post.

According to her, social media has taken over true bonding and it has caused a lack of sincerity, betrayals and depressions.

She posted this picture below to emphasize her point, in which she wrote:

“21st Century, the generation that doesn’t want real relationship. We want that social media relationship that everyone can like and comment on. True bonding are very hard now because, we now converse via DM, Ping, WhatsApp etc and epistle is our new way of expressing our feelings or appreciating people.

A lot of relationship has died because we now have better relationship with our phones than with people. We invest more time into our Instagram profile than we do with our lives. We celebrate our friends/family’s birthdays without knowing how the 365 days that lead up to them was.

Family meetings are now been held via Video calls and WhatsApp group conversations. People come to social media to write a long epistle for eachother, claiming WORLD’S BEST for them. When in actual sense, they know they are nothing close to COMMUNITY’S BEST and their intentions are not to filter them as good, but to impress social media audience.

There’s no relationship without social media anymore and that’s why relationships are no longer sincere; everything is now for the gram😥. We’ve forgotten that, the best thing to hold on to in life is eachother👭 and that’s one of the reasons why depression is getting common☹️.

We’ve built a wall around ourselves against our family and love ones. We share our burdens with riddles on social media instead of talking it out with someone. It has worsen to the extent that, someone about to commit suicide will take to Instagram story to write their suicide note.

I understand it’s hard to find a trustworthy person these days but you still have to trust someone! If you trust them and they betrayed your trust, then it’s not your problem anymore it’s theirs. Let them live the rest of their life with the burden of betrayal.

The best place to lean on is eachother’s shoulders. Don’t let social media steal your love ones from you cuz NOTHING CAN SAVE US FROM DEATH BUT LOVE COULD AT LEAST SAVE US FROM LIFE”.

In Interviews&profile February 14, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

14-YEAR OLD ACTRESS TURNED ENTREPRENEUR BECOMES YOUNGEST PERSON TO SIGN A FIRST LOOK DEAL WITH UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

Marsai Martin, a 14-year-old African-American actress, is now a successful entrepreneur. She has recently signed a first-look production agreement with Universal Studios, making her the youngest person to do so!

Along with her own company Genius Productions, she partnered with the film studio giant where she will develop original content and hopefully provide opportunities for other young actors.

Martin, who was known for her role on ABC’s Black-ish, will serve as a writer for scripted projects alongside Genius Productions co-founder Joshua Martin, VP Carol Martin, and head of creative Prince Baggett.

The first film they will produce under the deal is entitled Step Monster, a comedy film about a teenage girl — that will be played by her — who is adjusting to life with a new stepmother.

Universal Pictures president Peter Cramer knew it was a great decision to partner with the young entrepreneur. He said in a statement, in part, “She is not only tremendously talented in front of the camera, but offers a unique perspective as a creator and producer that will resonate with all audiences.”

Martin couldn’t help her excitement in being a part of inspiring diverse and young ideas even behind the cameras.

“I am so excited for the magic I’ll be able to create and produce with Universal,” Martin said in a statement. “My goal is to show young women and girls that our voices and ideas matter and you are never too young to dream BIG!”