Women of Rubies
In self development By

Tammy Kayne: How To Maintain Your Wig

Guys, before you run your fingers through her curly or straight tresses, gently ask if she is wearing a wig or she has fixed a temporal hairstyle to avoid any brouhahađŸ˜ŠđŸ€Ł

Wearing a wig cap is the new norm even among our stars. If you are too busy hustling between work, learning for a degree and managing your home, the best option is to braid your hair and get a wig cap to compliment your stunning look.

It even gets better, hairstylist have wig caps for braids, you don’t have to sit for 4 hours to get a hairdo. Whether you want big tresses or half the size of a straw, you can get it readily available to buy.

However, some women are having difficulties keep the wig caps keeping their wig caps in good condition for future use. When it comes to wig caps, most women wear it for at least a month, switch for another hairstyle, the next one and probably wear the first one in the cycle again.

If you love wig caps as we do, here is how to keep it intact for reuse.

  1. Brushing

Brush the wig thoroughly to remove any dirt or hidden particles. Brushing the wig cap makes it easier to wash

  1. Washing

Treat your wig with care. Pour a trusted shampoo in lukewarm water and gently place the wig in it. Don’t squeeze and rub it. Let it soak, then move the hair clockwise and anticlockwise. Repeat the process twice and transfer to clean water.

Never use hot water to wear your wig because it can hair discolourization and weaken the fibres, and cold water can’t remove all the dirt accumulated in the hair.

  1. Drying.

Pat dry your hair on a clean towel. Any sealed moisture can lead to mould growing on your wig, hence the need to make it completely dry before storing.

Don’t hang, blow dry, or place the wet wig in direct sunlight as this can damage the fibres.

  1. Detangle.

Comb and detangle your wig cap starting from the ends. Starting combing from the ends first, then to the roots with a detangling comb with large teeth to prevent shedding. Apply your desired hair cream or hair oil and dry again with a hand dryer for 20 to 30 minutes.

  1. Storage.

Fold your wig in half from ear to ear or braid the ends into two or four sections to prevent crumpling. You can place a hair net on the folded or braided wig cap to keep it in good shape especially with curled or wavy wigs to keep the style intact.

You can store the wig cap in a clean plastic bag. Pick a dry storage area and out of direct sunlight. Sunlight and heat will the dull the colour of your wig and break down the hair fibres for the strands to fall out.

You can place the wig you use often on a wig stand. If you are not using the wig anytime soon, you can bring it out from the storage and air dry it at least once a week to prevent it from smelling.

 

 

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Yewande Jinadu: Can’t Shake Off Your Fear Of Interviews? This Story Should Help!

As an undergraduate, I was made to believe that if you finish with 2:1 (second-class upper) and above, you’re more likely to get a better job than your peers. During my SIWES (compulsory Industrial Training), I worked in an oil and gas consulting firm where Graduate Trainees for Chevron were sent for a PDMS Training, so you can imagine my determination to ensure I get into Chevron. The first step was to ensure I get a 2:1 so that I will get a fighting chance. Starting with a 2.48 (third class) as my first GPA, I struggled through my 5 years to cross that 3.5 GPA with a thin margin. I was hopeful because, during my NYSC, I zealously read GMAT and GRE books; I was told that most multinational companies used them for their assessment.

I was ‘over-ready’ for any assessment test because I had already imagined myself as a Graduate Trainee in multinationals – wearing pantsuits during the on-boarding and eventually growing in my career.

As an undergraduate, I regularly spoke to a large audience as a fellowship leader, so I didn’t think I was going to struggle with interviews.

My first real interview for a multinational company was in August 2015. It was time to go to the assessment centre and I was ready. I had practiced in front of the mirror and in front of my siblings and parents – what didn’t I do to ensure I got the job? Nothing! The popular phrase that says “Once you have a game plan, confidence comes naturally” was in my head, because I had imagined myself confident and even dreamt of the interview.

I went into the interview room and began to shake. My words were incoherent, everything went wrong! “What’s happening?” I masked myself. Could it have been the seriousness of the panel or could it just have been that unnecessary phobia? I dusted that experience off and my rejection email was a big stab, but I was over it in less than a week.

Another opportunity came up in November 2015, but I had learned all my lessons from the last one. I met another four-man panel and the questions started. After 3 failed attempts to answer all the easy questions I was asked, a man wanted to break the ice and asked me ‘What’s your favorite movie’. My heart raced fast, I began to scratch my head. Yes! My head was blank! I was even clueless about my name at that point. I couldn’t remember anything, I wished the ground would just open up for me to enter. At that point, I felt like a failure. The only thing that managed to creep into my blank brain was ‘Spiderman’. What the
? ‘How could I think of that? For someone who was the hub of movies back in school, this really pained me. I muttered Spiderman and they all laughed and said “No more questions”. I began to leave and I said to myself “I’m sure these people must believe I have a fish brain”. I wanted to cry at the door but I got myself back together.

I think of these moments and smile anytime I am interviewing young graduates who I sometimes perceive may be going through similar situations. Most people think only introverts have this kind of problem but some real extroverts go through this. Interview phobia can happen in an unfamiliar circumstance that usually triggers a natural response. This involves adrenalin being released into the body – creating the effect that may involve being jittery, stammering, blank head, inability to look people in the eyes, etc.

I know thousands of other graduates who may be in this situation; they need to know that they’re not alone! It can be daunting for you to know you are capable of something but unable to show it to people or express yourself. It can lead to depression and the loss of self-worth if not properly handled. However, it is fixable. Yes! Training can help you through it.

It’s mainly about ‘Situation Management’; the process of becoming familiar with the interview situation on your terms. If you can try to build yourself up to a point where you self-manage the interview, you would be able to change the narrative and finally overcome interview phobia.

This was the major factor why I started the Employability Fitness Program so that I can help young graduates overcome interview phobia. You can join us via Instagram Live (@careerlifeng) on Saturday, 18th January 2020 by 12:30pm

I wish you the best in your career journey.

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Temi Olajide: How Do You Keep Your Children Engaged While You’re Working From Home?

Balancing children and a full-fledged workload is not a walk in the park, especially during this period. It’s okay to occasionally treat yourself now and then to your favorite meal or a movie for your efforts. Most importantly, enjoy the process as you get to spend more time with the people that mean the most to you!

With schools closed around the country and most companies opting for remote work, keeping your kids engaged while you work can be a daunting experience. For many parents, it’s a healthy mix of chaos, family time, stress, fighting, and bargaining with their partner on who will take which shift so the other can get some work done.

Although it won’t be easy in this period, this can also be an amazing time to bond with your kids and get to know them better. Most importantly, go easy on yourself. There’s no doubt this time is impossibly difficult, so doing your best is the best decision for everyone.

Here a few ways to  keep your children engaged while you work from home:

Create a schedule

I know you’re probably tired of hearing this but the truth is that kids do best when they have a structure,  so creating a daily schedule will make it easier for them to stay focused as well as hopefully provide periods of productivity for you too.

Schedule your work-time to align with the activities you plan for them. You can plan your zoom meeting and calls at the same time with their screen time, that way they will be too engrossed in what they are watching to disturb your meeting.

Also be sure to schedule ‘in time’, in which you are part of their day as well, for example, 12 pm -1 pm can be board games or lunch break with mummy. Your children will have something to look forward to each day and the mental break will be good for you, especially when you are dealing with a stressful situation at work.

Take your lead from the teachers

Most schools have introduced virtual classes as a means to make up for the lost time. You can take a look at your child’s scheduled classes for the week, this will help in knowing when they will be in class and when to schedule other activities to keep them busy while you work.

Create projects

You can create fun age-appropriate projects that will keep your kids engaged and entertained. Go to YouTube to check for age-appropriate DIY videos for your kids. An example can be building a city with cardboard boxes, pillows and blankets, and so on. Toymaking, art, and craft, or even painting projects. The good thing about this is that it not only keeps your kids busy, it helps in stimulating their minds, enhancing their motor skills and creativity.

If you can, plan the night before

Some days, you may just want to go to bed after a long day. That’s normal and perfectly fine. But if you can, try to plan the next day’s itinerary before you sleep. This is very important especially if you have an early morning meeting the next day. It’ll ensure your kids are happy and occupied, and not throwing a tantrum during that video conference with your CEO.

Spend time outside, if you can

If you live in a house with a big garden or backyard, allow your kids to go out and play. Vitamin D is great for our overall health, and going outside even for a few minutes each day gives children the space they need to roam. If your kids aren’t up to the age where they can play without supervision, you can take your laptop outside so you can keep a watchful eye on them.

Write letters to teachers, friends or grandparents 

You can keep your kids busy by channeling your son or daughter’s creativity toward letter writing or picture drawing. Let them write a letter to their friends in school or to their teacher or even to their grandparents while you get some work done. Not only will your child learn a lesson in compassion, but your relative will also receive a nice surprise to lift their spirits.

Assign ‘work’ to your kids

For the foreseeable future, when your kids ask you what you’re doing, you’ll likely say “working”. This word doesn’t always make sense to them, so a way to teach them is to assign tasks to them.  Give them puzzles to finish, LEGO lands to build, separate the bean seeds from the shaft, arrange the throw pillows in the sitting room. You can set a timer for an hour so they can work and then ask them to prepare a presentation afterward to show off their work.

Dance videos

Most kids can operate tablets and phones from younger ages. Set your child up with some music (that isn’t too loud to disturb your work), show them how to make a video (if they don’t already know how), provide props or dress-up clothes and have them take dance videos (or other silly videos) that they can share with you.

Designate an area for your ‘home office’

It is important to have a designated area (preferably a spare room) that will enable you to organize your files, stay on task, and minimize interruptions. Let your kids also know that this is mummy’s work area and teach them not to come to the work area while you’re working. It is important to follow a schedule even while working so if you work 9 -5, try to keep it at that with short breaks in between to check on the kids.

Balancing children and a full-fledged workload is not a walk in the park, especially during this period. It’s okay to occasionally treat yourself now and then to your favorite meal or a movie for your efforts. Most importantly, enjoy the process as you get to spend more time with the people that mean the most to you!

Have any tips to keep your kids busy while you work from home? Feel free to share.

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What I experienced In Lebanon, I pray Even Not For Satan To Experience It.” – Nigerian Lady Cautions Young Women Against Going Abroad

Arowolo Olamide Temitope, a Nigerian lady who was barred from boarding an evacuation flight to Nigeria by the Lebanese airport management after receiving orders from her employer in Lebanon, has finally arrived Nigeria.

Arowolo who was evacuated from Lebanon by the Federal Government on Saturday July 11, narrated her ordeal while in Lebanon, warning young Nigerian girls against travelling abroad.

Arowolo, 31, was among 19 other victims on who were received by officials of the National Agency for the Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP) and the House of Representatives Committee on Diaspora Affairs at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport In Abuja, today.

A video of Temitope circulated on the internet regarding the violation of her human rights in Lebanon. She said in the viral video she was beaten by Mahmoud Zahran, the husband of her employer, Feyzeh Diab, on April 25, at their home in Choueifat, South of Beirut, after accusing her of stealing a phone.

She continued narrating instances of emotional, physical and sexual assault she recieved from Zahran and Diab.

After the video went viral, the Federal Government asked Lebanese authorities to bring her back to Nigeria.

Temitope, speaking to journalists at the Abuja airport, said Lebanon was like ‘hell’ for her and cautioned Nigerian girls against being lured abroad.

She said, “I’m happy being home. Going to Lebanon is like (going to) a hell. Nobody knows that will happen there. I advise other girls to stay here in Nigeria and try to make it the way the Lord puts them through, because going outside there was like a hell, not only in Lebanon. What I experienced in Lebanon, I pray even not for Satan to experience it.”

 

The Chairman, House of Representatives Committee on Diaspora, Rep. Tolulope Akande-Sadipe (APC-Oyo) described Temitope’s return as “a dream come true.”

“Today, Temitope is back home, unfortunately, I will not allow her show her face, the whole issue has not come to an end we really want to understand what happened in court back in Lebanon.

“We are happy, she is happy to be back home.

“I hope this will be a sign to others young girls out there who want to go abroad for greener pastures to ensure that the circumstances they are going into are the expectations they have when they signed up for these agents,” she said.

 

Arowolo’s employer had accused her of stealing $5,000 and attempting to kill him. Her prosecution in court had been stalled as the accusers failed to show up, while she was granted bail.

 

The committee had, however, said it was established that Arowolo suffered abuse and sexual harassment from the husband of her employer, Mahmoud Zahran, during her sojourn in Lebanon.

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Relationship issues
In self development By

9 Relationship Deal Breakers That You Shouldn’t Tolerate

Do you have relationship deal breakers?

A deal breaker is a factor to consider when deciding whether to follow through with something or not. It’s that little something that makes you say “I’m done!” even when you really love someone or you’ve been together forever.

It may sound harsh — after all, no relationship is perfect, right? — but having a list of relationship deal breakers is actually a healthy way to protect yourself from toxic situations.

Don’t get caught up in controlling, hurtful, and potentially dangerous relationships. Here are 9 relationship deal breakers that you should seriously consider when deciding whether your sweetheart is actually worth your time.

1. There Is Abuse in the Relationship

A healthy relationship is about respect, putting your spouse first, and treating them how you want to be treated.

On the other hand, a partner who lays a hand on you or emotionally abuses you is a major relationship deal-breaker[1].

Many people convince themselves that just because it happens once doesn’t mean it will happen again. Remember, you deserve a healthy relationship, and someone who abuses you physically or emotionally even once isn’t worth your time.

2. You’re a Secret

If you find out that your spouse hasn’t told their friends or family about you, run for your life! Because being a secret means one of three things.

  • They are already in a relationship and you are the side piece.
  • They can’t commit.
  • They are embarrassed by you.

Your time is valuable and shouldn’t be wasted being with someone who would rather keep you as their dirty little secret.

3. Plans Are Constantly Cancelled

Does your partner always seem to be ditching out on plans with you last minute?

Sure, there are legitimate reasons that your partner may be doing this, such as being called into work unexpectedly, but feeling like the person you’re crazy about is bailing on your company in favor of partying with their friends is definitely shady.

If you find that your long-term partner starts doing this, it may be signs of a deeper problem in the relationship that needs to be discussed.

4. Your Partner Isn’t Faithful

When it comes to cheating, put your foot down immediately. Don’t forgive and wait for the next round of heartbreak. If you have both agreed to a monogamous relationship, both parties should be respecting that decision.

Even if you put breaking your trust and your heart aside, your partner’s cheating on you puts you at risk for depression, sexually transmitted infections, and major embarrassment.

If your partner doesn’t love and respect you enough to stay faithful, dump them. They aren’t worth your time.

5. They Fight Dirty

There are times when we’ve all said stupid things in the heat of an argument, but there’s a difference between getting caught up and using a disagreement as an excuse to be a complete jerk.

If, during an argument, your partner or spouse:

  • Brings up past experiences with the intention of hurting your feelings
  • Calls you rude or degrading names
  • Gaslights you to make you feel crazy
  • Attacks you instead of the issue
  • Uses the silent treatment

Then you should consider walking away.

Healthy relationships are about open communication and fair conflict resolutions[ — not about seeing who can hurt the other more.

6. You Want Different Things

Sometimes, even if you really love each other, your relationship game just isn’t meant to work out.

He wants East Coast, you want West.

She wants to save money, you want to spend.

He wants kids, you’re fine riding as a duo.

Even if you get along well, these fundamental differences in your goals and where you see your lives going are going to cause serious resentment problems if you don’t address them soon.

7. They’re Unbelievably Selfish

We’re all selfish from time to time, but some people take it too far.

If you feel like you’re giving your all to your spouse, and all they’re doing is taking, focusing on themselves, and taking advantage of your kindness, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

Don’t spend a second longer with a selfish narcissist. Trust me, it isn’t worth the headache.

8. They’re Always Jealous

Healthy jealousy is totally cool when it inspires couples to treat each other better and not take one another for granted.

However, controlling, hack-your-Facebook-and-demand-your-phone-password jealousy[3] should never be tolerated. This is a sign of insecurity and can quickly develop into dangerous or abusive behavior. It’s better to get out before it reaches that point.

9. You’re Always Fighting

Do you feel like you and your spouse are always arguing?

Sure, even happy couples argue, but constantly arguing with a partner is one of our relationship deal breakers because it shows that you have poor communication skills.

Communication is everything when it comes to a healthy, happy relationship. Couples need to be able to talk to each other in order to build empathy, resolve problems, and get closer. This means addressing problems as the arise, not letting them sit and turn into huge fights down the line.

Source: Lifehack

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Imposter Syndrome
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4 Things To Remember When You Don’t Believe In Yourself

When I picture life, I picture us all walking down our own winding path, pulling a wagon behind us. Each person’s wagon is filled with their self-belief and self-worth. Walking down the path of life, carrying our inner beliefs, we happily trundle along the path toward whatever our own goal is, but sometimes life isn’t so breezy.

When you’re having a hard time seeing the good in yourself, remember these 5 important things.

1. Opinions Aren’t Facts

At some point in your life, you believed in yourself, and you were feeling great. Then, someone came along and made you doubt yourself. They gave their opinion of you, and it hurt. You believed in yourself less and carried the hurt with you.

You need to understand that the comment was someone’s opinion, not a fact. Just because someone doesn’t see your worth doesn’t mean no one will. You can’t please everyone, so don’t even try.

Someone had an opinion, and that’s okay. We are all entitled to opinions. But it wasn’t a fact. Don’t let that person’s negativity get absorbed into your estimation of yourself. Let it wash over you and float away.

Learn to take feedback critically and consider where there something you can use in the comment to change and grow as a person.

2. Growth Takes Time

Give yourself a break. This is so important if you don’t believe in yourself. You are still growing, and you are learning, failing, and learning again. No one has all the answers, and there is no right way to do something. You are just growing, and you are going to make mistakes, and that doesn’t make you a bad person or a failure. It makes you a human who is growing.

Let go of perfectionism and the idea that you have to have it all together and be right all the time. That pressure is slowing you down and causing you to doubt yourself. Just breathe. You are where you are on your journey, and that is beautiful and it is enough.

Don’t let the pressure of expectation take away from your self-belief. You are not a list of all your successes and failures; you are so much more than that.

Failure is an event, not a personal characteristic.

Learn, grow, and let yourself fail. Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect as that has never done anyone any good. Embrace your failure and know that you learned something and are moving forward.  There is comfort in having faith that everything will be all right in the future. Your self-belief will thrive when you release these unrealistic expectations.

3. Fear Can’t Stop You

Let’s chat about your fear. When you don’t believe in yourself, it is most likely that you are afraid to. To be yourself and put yourself out there, you risk being criticized for who you are. That is scary, and as we learned from opinions, it can really damage your self-belief.

Believing in yourself takes bravery; you have to be the one who pushes you forward and believes in you. If you don’t, you just stand still. You have to believe in yourself to move forward, and fear holds you back.

  • Fear holds you back from trying in case you fail.
  • Fear stops you letting go of opinions in case they are right and you will have to go through this again.
  • Fear stops you moving forward.

Let go of fear. Adventure forward with careless abandon. Face your fears one by one and say “I see you fear, and I know everything I want is on the other side of you. I see you, and I am afraid, but I am going to face you and move past you anyway and face the consequences of my actions because I believe in myself, and I can handle anything.”.

Never fear failure; failure is just another opportunity to try again, except this time more wisely. It is the best teacher and the fastest way to succeed. Have a healthy relationship with failure and you will have a better relationship with your inner courage.

4. You Are Unique

You are unique, and I say this with all the passion in the world. You are different; you walk down your own unique and wonderful path. Not everyone is going to understand it, but that is how history is made. It is made by people who no one believed in, who stood up, defied fear and doubt and said what they believed.

You don’t have to have support to believe in yourself. You can connect with what you believe in, and if you believe it strongly enough, you can achieve anything. When you don’t believe in yourself, just remember, you are still important and unique, and you still matter.

Don’t give up on your journey because not everyone understands it. Keep connected to the knowledge that you are important and you matter.

Final Thoughts

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. When your self esteem is low, it can be really hard to nurture it all by yourself. Sometimes you need a confidence boost from someone who does believe in you. Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling and ask for support.

Something to always remember is that your self-belief comes from you, and no one can take it away without your consent. You have the power to validate yourself and your self-esteem and the power to ignore the negativity in the pursuit of your own goals.

Source: Lifehack

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Baby Is Born Holding His Mother’s Contraceptive Coil That Was Supposed To Stop Her From Getting Pregnant

A newborn baby made an entrance into the world while holding the contraceptive coil that was supposed to stop her from getting pregnant with him.

The baby boy born at Hai Phong International Hospital in the city of Hai Phong in northern Vietnam, can be seen clasping his mother’s yellow and black intrauterine device (IUD) in his hand.

The coil is supposed to stop sperm fertilising a woman’s eggs.

Obstetrician Tran Viet Phuong said the device had come out when the baby was born. The infant had it held firmly in his hands when the picture was taken, it is claimed.

Dr Phuong told local media: “After delivery, I thought him holding the device was interesting, so I took a picture. I never thought it would receive so much attention.”

The baby’s 34-year-old mother claims she had the coil inserted two years earlier but it did not work because she later discovered she was pregnant.

Baby is born holding his mother

Dr Phuong said the device may have been moved from its original position, becoming an ineffective form of contraception and allowing the mother to become pregnant.

The baby was healthy when born, weighing 7lbs, and both mother and child were under observation in the hospital after the birth, it’s reported.

Baby is born holding his mother

The mother had previously had two other children, according to reports.

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#Ibadan4: Suspected Ritualist Linked To Raping And Serial Killings Has Been Arrested

The Oyo state police command has arrested a ritualist linked to the serial killings in Akinyele Local Government Area(LGA) of the state.

Confirming the arrest to newsmen on Wednesday July 8, the spokesperson of the state police command, Olugbenga Fadeyi, said

“Yes, we have arrested some suspects in connection with Akinyele killings; we will brief the press soon please” he said

Fatal Owoseni, the Special Adviser on Security Affairs to  Gov. Seyi Makinde, also confirmed the arrest of the suspects in a town hall session organized for stakeholders on tackling security in the Akinyele area today.

” As I speak now, the perpetrators of the killings in Akinyele have been apprehended. As at yesterday the criminals had been apprehended. The person behind it has been taking the police to the ritualists and they are now behind bars,” Owoseni said

Recall that in the last one month, five persons have been killed in mysterious circumstances in the said local government.

Barakat Bello, an 18-year-old student was raped and killed in her home on June 2.

On June 5, a pregnant woman, Azeezat Shomuyiwa’s head was smashed with a stone.

On June 13, Grace Oshiagwu, a female student of Oke-Ogun Polytechnic, was killed inside a church in the local government.

On June 24, a 42-year-old married woman, Mrs. Olusayo Fagebemi was hacked to death in front of her home, and on June 22, a 5 year old boy , Mujeeb, was also hacked to death inside his compound.

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Celebrating Abimbola Balogun, The Co-Founder Of So Fresh NG

Abimbola Balogun, is  the co-founder of SoFresh, a healthy food chain, providing fresh delicious, nutrient-rich healthy meals and committed to promoting a healthy lifestyle.

Abimbola, together with her husband, Goke, founded the company in a little corner shop in the Ogba area of Lagos after moving to Lagos from Kwara state, a year prior.

So Fresh was originally founded as Fruitivegies Limited in 2010 – a modernised Farmer’s Market. It was conceived to be a departure from our traditional way of shopping for fresh produce in Nigeria, by providing a clean serene and hygienic environment for Nigerians to buy fresh produce.

In a few weeks of opening the store, Abimbola and Goke discovered the market wanted something more and they started to shift focus to freshly prepared meals, in order to tap into the increasing health consciousness and culture shift in the ‘what’, ‘how’ and ‘where’ people shop for food.

Reality soon hit 2 months later and sales were dropping. They decided to take to the streets, engaging in door-to-door advertising and distribution of flyers. Sales began to go up again. But by the end of 2012, they encountered a bigger issue – sales kept going up, but there was no profit.

Early 2013 was a defining point for the company – to stop the business or keep going, with a different strategy. Abimbola and Goke took the latter, invested almost x5 of their initial capital, and moved to the Ikoyi area of Lagos, to a bigger market yet to mature, to set up another store. This was round the time the name was changed to SoFresh.

Two years after that move, SoFresh opened a second outlet at Opebi in 2015, then a third at MMA2 Airport, Ikeja in 2017. SoFresh currently has 9 locations across Lagos and Abuja.

Abimbola is a Law graduate from the University of Ilorin and apart from running SoFresh, she’s also an HR professional, focusing on capacity building for organisational growth.

Abimbola and Goke’s story is one of determination, passion and partnership that works, and we hope it’s something you can learn from.

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