Women of Rubies
In Inspiration By

#WCW | Celebrating Ehime Eigbe Akindele , Founder Sweetkiwi Yoghurt

Ehime Eigbe Akindele is the founder of Sweetkiwi, a frozen yoghurt company, a go-to location for frozen yoghurt in Nigeria.

Ehime was visiting Nigeria from her station in Texas and needed to get frozen yoghurt. Unfortunately, there were no stores selling the product in the country.

That gave her a lightbulb moment: she decided to quit her job as a Bankruptcy Specialist at Citi Group, to start a frozen yoghurt company in Nigeria. That’s how Sweetkiwi was born.

She started off hosting a free tasting event and the reception was more than she expected. People were interested, and from then on, even before she began her plan to get a store and sell her products, she was receiving contracts to cater to events.

Her business began, and soon she opened her flagship store in Lekki, Lagos and then another, and then in 2018, launched its product offering in the US.

Her business started in 2011 and in 2014, the brand got its space to create the unique experience it intends to give customers.

Ehime is a Goldman Sachs 10,000 Women scholar and holds a degree in Business Information Technology and International Studies from London Metropolitan University.

She also completed the Entrepreneur Management programme at the Enterprise Development Centre of Pan African University, Lagos and has certifications in restaurant management and dessert manufacturing.

Ehime is building two more brands – Beet Root and Činggis Mongolian Grill – to join SweetKiwi as part of her Your Way Foods.

Your Way Foods is “an International group of healthy food brands made with the best natural ingredients. We operate leading brands in the rapidly growing healthy-foods space, offering consumers great experiences with unique, innovative and fresh product offerings,” it says on its website.

Ehime is looking to kickstart her franchise program to grow the brand into other parts of Nigeria and the rest of Africa and we’re rooting for her!

by
Keep Reading
In Inspiration By

Tony Joy is Empowering Rural Women With Durian Nigeria

Tony Joy  is the founder of Durian Nigeria, a non-profit helping rural communities, especially women and children, turn waste to wealth and elevate their economic status.

Durian Nigeria trains women and children in a rural community – Imafon – in Akure, the Ondo state capital, to make jewellery, furniture cups, and cutlery from bamboo, as well as school bags, and packaging from waste clothes and water sachets.

Joy named her organisation after the Durian fruit, regarded as the “king of fruits” in some regions. The Durian has a very strong (odour) but tastes really good. Joy’s mission is to empower rural communities to see the beauty in what they call waste and transform it into a means of livelihood.

Durian is an offspring of Making a Difference Foundation which is a registered NGO in Nigeria that’s committed to using waste in creating solutions to social issues.

Joy started her journey in social development in 2015, by organising clean-up exercises in 8 states in Nigeria. She later decided that more could be done with wastes, and this drive led her to Imaafon community where she decided to spend time with the people and empower them.

Between 2018 and 2019, Joy has reached 337 people directly in the local community through trainings and grassroots outreaches with an operating budget of $30,000.

Over half of the participants of its training are currently earning 50% additional income every month, which translates to better livelihood for the women. More kids are now back in school because their parents now earn more to afford it and this has saved most girls from early childhood marriage, sexual abuse and drug abuse.

Durian has trained over 1,550 in vocational skills and through partnerships, has donated 100 back-to-school kits for the community. Because of the success of her work, Joy has been invited to replicate the process in 3 other communities across Nigeria’s south western states of Osun, Ekiti, and Oyo.

Joy, a rural development advocate was a nominee for the Prize for Community Action in the 2019 The Future Awards Africa (TFAA).

She is a Queen Young Leader (2015), an Associate Fellow of the Royal Commonwealth Society and a LEAP Africa SIP Fellow (2015/2016).

We celebrate Joy for indeed making a difference in the lives of rural community dwellers, and we’re rooting for her!

by
Keep Reading
In Editor's Choice By

“Personal Experience With Racism Inspired Me To Start Afro Women And Youth Foundation- Adebola Adefioye

There are so many Nigerians living in the diaspora making us proud, Adebola Adefioye is one of them. She is not only raising the flag high, but also empowering other women while at it.

She  is a proven resilient woman whose work with women and youth span over 10 years. She coordinated the “For Girls Only” program at The Real Woman Foundation, Lagos, Nigeria for some years. Aside from her natural interest in the social sector, she has also deployed professional services in the childcare sector. She is a Registered Early Childhood Educator in Ontario and an alumna of Coady International Institute where she studied Advancing Women Leadership in Conflict Transformation, Peacebuilding and Community Development.

Adebola is a Certified Speaker, Coach and Trainer with The John Maxwell Team and she founded Afro Women and Youth Foundation, an organization she started to support the holistic development of vulnerable African women, girls, and youth. This is where she deploys her advocacy strengths and leadership skills to deconstruct the enormous, socially constructed injustices in the society while empowering, mentoring, and developing leadership skills of marginalized populations.

Adebola is married with 3 adorable children. Her social entrepreneurship and educational commitment work got recognition recently as she was named the recipient for the 2020 HELIX Female Entrepreneurship Award and Walker Wood Foundation Early Childhood Educator Award at Seneca College, Ontario, Canada. She was also nominated as a Woman of Inspiration at Universal Women’s Network, Canada.

She is a professional member of the College of Early Childhood Education (CECE), Ontario, Family Support Institute of Ontario (FSIO) and Association of Early Childhood Educators, Ontario (AECEO) Canada.

Childhood Influence

Yes, growing up prepared me for what I am doing now. Growing up was good until things turned around when my father had to retire earlier than planned from his banking job in Nigeria because the bank wanted to recruit young graduates. Our family’s financial situation changed quickly because we are a polygamous family and the available funds were no longer enough for all. I had to drop out of the University of Ado-Ekiti and struggled a lot by myself after that event but all the experiences helped me to build resilience and now I can relate when I see young girls going through a difficult situation.


Inspiration behind  Afro Women and Youth foundation

I have always known that women and girls are very vulnerable, and as a new immigrant, I faced some difficulties. I experience subtle racism regularly and my daughter experienced it very hard from Grade 2-3 because she was the only black girl in class. I kept coaching her on how best to handle it. Eventually, she built enough confidence and she started speaking up whenever necessary. Last year, she won the award for Most Confident Child in grade 5. My personal experience and my daughter’s inspired me to start the Afro Women and Youth Foundation.  At AWYF, we currently run monthly empowerment events for marginalized African women, girls and youth in Toronto, Canada. Some of our past sessions include (The Resilient Woman, Be The Best, How to Handle Peer Pressure, Integration in Canada Positive Parenting Strategies etc).

 The journey been so far?

It has been very fulfilling. Helping others makes me and my team very happy. We just hope the people we are helping now will someday extend the love to other people.

Being the recipient  of the 2020 HELIX Female Entrepreneurship Award , and Several notable Awards in Canada

I felt very good. I worked very hard as a club leader, mentor, and tutor to other students at the college and also support new African immigrants in my community. I am very happy and thankful.

Challenges of being a Social Entrepreneur

Getting sustainable funds to implement my transformative ideas has been the most challenging part of my work. This is because we are a new nonprofit. I am very grateful for the individuals and organizations that currently support my work and very hopeful for more support and collaborations.

 3 Women Who Inspire you to be better and why?

My mother is my greatest inspiration. I watched her return to school after 6 children and moved herself out of dependency to becoming an independent woman. She has also faced many other challenges but she remains strong.

Pastor Adenike Adeyemi is another person I strongly admire and working at her organization (The Real Woman Foundation) for 4 years as the “For Girls Only” program coordinator further prepared me for the social developmental work I do today.

Mrs. Omowale Ogunrinde, the executive director of Field of Skills and Dreams, Lagos is another great inspiration to me. She employed me as Hat & Beads Trainer after I dropped out of the University and moved to Lagos from Ibadan. I watched her every day at work as she runs her business with strong principles.

Bridging the gap between my work in Canada and Nigeria

 We recently started virtual training that is open to women and youth living in Nigeria and other parts of Africa. We just concluded a Self-Care training for educators last month and people joined from Burundi and Nigeria. We also did another one for youth and all who attended both events were given cash gifts by a sponsor as COVID-19 relief.

AWYF will be celebrating the 1st anniversary in September and to mark the event, we will be launching an Interest-free small business loan for Gender-Based Violence (GBV) victims who have established small businesses. This is coming with the help of a sponsor who is interested in fighting GBV in Nigeria. This intervention program will be delivered in partnership with Attitude Development International (ADI) and only those who have officially reported their experience and have started their businesses will be eligible for the funds. These are things Nigerian women can benefit from.

 Being a Social Entrepreneur,  Research Assistant at Seneca College, a Mom and wife, and managing it all

I am a strong-willed person and I think multi-tasking is one of my gifts. I also have a very supportive husband who is equally a social entrepreneur and believes in women’s empowerment.

The pandemic has made a lot of Nigerian women vulnerable, What coping mechanism advice would you give to these women at a time like this.

 I would recommend regular breathing exercises. Every woman should regularly make a list of things they are thankful for as those can bring great joy in this difficult time. Also, it is important to hang out with good friends who make you happy. It could be a physical or virtual connection, but we all need that sense of connection at this time. Lastly, I’ll say, ask for help when you need it. I must also add that women should please speak out when experiencing any form of violence.

 Being  a Woman of Rubies?

I have had many negative experiences over the years and through mentorship, coaching and personal development, I have learned how to consistently bounce back and thrive in the face of adversity. Most importantly, helping others to do the same is what makes me a Woman of Rubies.

Speaking, Training, Mentoring and Coaching Services

You can contact Adebola if you need her to speak at your event or interested in her mentorship/coaching programs. She also provides Qualitative professional Early Childhood Educator training to schools, religious or any child-focused organizations.

Website: www.afrowyf.org

Instagram:@adebolaadefioye1

Facebook: Adebola Taiwo Adefioye

LinkedIn: Adebola Adefioye

WhatsApp:+1(905)955-8667

 

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

10 teps To Having A Flawless Skin

Do you want to have a flawless skin? Do you love women with flawless skin? Do you wish to be like them?

Are you tired of paying huge sums of money for body soaps and creams? Do you want to be the toast of others because of your skin as you step out?

You need to read this article. If you want to have a flawless skin, take these tips to heart:

  1. Wash your face before you go to bed. Don’t wear makeup to bed. You are not doing your face any good if you do that all the time.
  2. Use a moisturizer. Your skin needs a good moisturizer to glow. You need yourself natural skin glow to be the envy of other people. Get a moisturizer with Sun Protection SPF.
  3. Don’t scrub your skin too hard. Be gentle with your skin. Over scrubbing your skin can make your skin red and irritable
  4. Eat good food and get regular exercise. Don’t load your body with junk food. Eat lots of fruits, protein and vegetables. Consume real food and do away with fast-food and sodas.
  5. Exfoliate your skin to remove the layers of dead skin cells and dirt that are blocking your pores and your skin’s natural glow. Get exfoliating products that contain alpha hydroxy and lactic acids for your skin.
  6. Make sure you clean your phone regularly. Your phone picks up lots of bacteria, which can be transferred to your face when you make a phone call. Wipe your screen with an anti-bacterial wipe often to get rid of germs.
  7. Stop touching your face. Touching your face all the time might be the reason for those blemishes on your cheek or jaw. Germs get transferred to your hands from touching other things.
  8. Change your pillowcase. If you don’t use clean pillowcase often, your skin can suffer breakouts. Your pillowcases carry dirt and sweat from your hair, hands, and beauty products you use.
  9. Wash your makeup brushes every week with brush cleanser or baby shampoo. Your makeup tools can accumulate bacteria, which can lead to breakouts.
  10. Don’t forget to use skin protection. You shouldn’t reserve using sunscreen only when the weather is hot — your skin needs protection all the time.

There are sunscreens for every skin type. Get the one that help make your skin less oily, so that your face remains matte and pimple-free.

Source: Feminine.com.ng

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

Esther Ijewere: 5 Emotions And How You Can Turn Them To God

We can all feel stuck at times in our emotions. They can be so strong that they literally dominate our thoughts and it can be hard to focus on anything else. God gives us a way to deal with tough emotions and that it through prayer. Let’s  look at 5 emotions we can all face and how you can turn your heart to God.

When you’re feeling worried….

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Write down everything you are worried about. Write down everything you feel grateful for.  Pray about each worry. Thank God for everything you feel grateful for.

PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7

God’s promise is that by turning to prayer, he can take our worries away and actually give us peace!

When you’re feeling afraid…

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. God wants us to tell him all our fears and share all our feelings with him.

PSALM 34:4

God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. [5] Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him.

When your heart is sad and angry

What relationships in your life cause you pain and sadness? Who do you feel bitter towards? Pray about the hurt, sadness, and pain you feel that is making you angry.

When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day. Do not give the devil a way to defeat you. Share the anger with God and ask him to help you let go of it.

Pray about how the anger hurts relationships and allows Satan to defeat you and divide relationships.

PSALM 73:21

God can help us  deal with our pain and sadness. He can help us overcome bitterness when that is our response to the pain.

When you’re feeling jealous…

Anger is cruel and destroys like a flood, but no one can put up with jealousy! Who do you have jealousy towards? Admit jealousy to God in prayer and how it hurts, divides, and distances your  relationships. Peace of mind means a healthy body, but jealousy will rot your bones.

PROVERBS 14:30

Pray about how jealousy harms you, how it makes you unhappy or depressed because you always feel like other people have it better than you.

When you’re feeling disappointed…

It is sad not to get what you hoped for. But wishes that come true are like eating fruit from the tree of life. What disappointments have you experienced in your life? Take time to share those things with God.

PROVERBS 13:12

Disappointment affects our hearts more than we realize.

Challenge:

Decide everyday to take time to journal out your feelings to God (each of ones listed above). Take time to pray through those feelings everyday along with scriptures that help you understand God’s perspective on those emotions.

Photocredit ; http://thehoustonblackpages.com/

By: Esther Ijewere

Email: Esther@womenofrubies.com

Twitter & Instagram : @estherijewere

Facebook: Esther Ijewere

***Esther Is a Social Activist, Writer, Author Columnist and the Editor in Chief of Women of Rubies.

by
Keep Reading
In Inspiration By

Meet Muna Onuzo-Iyanam – The Startup Expert Giving Entrepreneurs Hope

Muna Onuzo-Iyanam, is  a brand and business strategist with over 14 years professional experience, working with diverse organisations as a consultant and learning and education facilitator to develop 360 degrees branding strategy, especially for startups.

She has coached and trained and mentored over 2000 Nigerian youths in the ABCs of business ethics and on the importance of image, branding and etiquette in business. Muna’s expertise include cross-cultural communication, human capital training and development, new/digital media and CSR strategy development and execution.

Muna is the founder of Gazzelle Academy Vocational Centre, a first-rate skill acquisition centre, approved by the Industrial Training Fund (ITF) approved vocational centre which trains artisans and entrepreneurs.

Muna is currently the SA, Technical Planning, Research & Development to the Minister of State for Education in Nigeria.

Muna Onuzo is also a certified corporate etiquette, cross-cultural communication, international protocol and business image consultant. She is the Principal Consultant at Personnelty Fit Ltd. She obtained her Etiquette and Protocol certification from The Protocol School of Washington.

Muna holds a bachelors degree in Mass Communication from Imo State University and a masters degree in Media and Communication from the School of Media and Communication, Pan Atlantic University.

She’s the President of the Nigeria chapter of Foundation for Women in Film and Television – an International NGO spread over 44 countries. She is a sitting Board of Trustees member of the Society for the Performing Arts of Nigeria – an award winning NGO helping the Nigerian youth to live out their dream through dance and the Arts.

We celebrate Muna for her work in helping Nigerian youths develop both practical, entrepreneurial and employability skill that will give them a fighting chance to live a more productive life.

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

Meet The 4 Africans Selected For The 2020 Echoing Green Fellowship

Echoing Green, an organisation which funds social entrepreneurship and innovation all over the world, has announced the social entrepreneurs for its 2020 fellowship.

Members of the 2020 class are tackling pressing global issues including systemic racism, educational inequities, unemployment, air pollution, and mental health care.

The 2020 Echoing Green Fellows come from across the globe, working in seven different countries and territories (India, Ghana, Kenya, Zambia, Nigeria, Puerto Rico, and the United States) and were selected from a pool of 3,134 applicants working in 161 countries after a 10-month vetting process.

Four Africans were selected for the fellowship and they are: Joceylne Agbo (Nigeria), founder of Farm On Wheels; Samlara Baah (Ghana), founder and CEO of Loo Works; Charlot Magayi (Kenya), founder and CEO of Mukuru Clean Stoves; and Muzalema Mwanza (Zambia), co-founder of Safe Motherhood Alliance.

Jocelyne’s Farm On Wheels enables smallholder rural farmers to improve food security and way of life at the family level first, with the deeper mission of providing a better life for rural women and youth to reduce poverty in hard-to-reach rural communities. Farm On Wheels provides direct access to quality farm inputs, training, extension services, input credit, and market linkage, enabling farmers to increase their production capacity, yield, and income. Over the long term, Farm On Wheels is committed to improving the lives of smallholder rural farmers, preserving the environment, and contributing to food security.

Samlara’s Loo Works uses plastic waste to create sanitation solutions for marginalized communities in West Africa. Loo Works manufactures toilet systems composed of a container-based toilet attached to a biological digester, giving households a hygienic, low-cost toilet system that does not need to be emptied regularly. Loo Works’ toilet systems save lives while using recycled plastics and sawdust, otherwise known as wood plastic composite. This process upcycles the thousands of tons of plastic waste generated in-country each day.

Charlot’s Mukuru Clean Stoves (MCS) designs, manufactures, and distributes improved, efficient, and reliable cookstoves. MCS makes its stoves with locally sourced recycled metal and distributes them through networks of local women business owners and microfinance institutions. MCS’s vision is to significantly reduce household air pollution in underserved markets in Africa.

Muzalema’s Safe Motherhood Alliance develops and distributes innovative, climate-smart healthcare products that meet the unique needs of pregnant women living in low-resource settings and rural areas. Safe births in Sub-Saharan Africa are a challenge, and the Safe Motherhood Alliance understands that anxiety over childbirth can often lead to using unsafe practices. Its work focuses on removing anxiety from the birth process and rebuilding trust between communities and clinics. Safe Motherhood Alliance’s vision is to advance women’s access to healthcare by engaging spheres of influence that affect their choices, so they can deliver a healthier and wealthier world, passed on for generations.

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

#MondayMotivation| 4 Secrets To Success According To Oprah Winfrey

In a commencement speech to the graduating student, former anchor, TV show host, and actor Oprah Winfrey urged the students to understand, appreciate, and execute their will to become ‘successful’ in life.
While the speech was tailored to inspire the fresh batch of graduates, looking to enter the world of adults and make their marks, certain aspects of Oprah’s  speech hold value for all of us.

  1. Alignment between who you are and what you do

“It is understanding that there is an alignment between who you are and what you do, is what authentic empowerment is.” it is imperative that your work becomes an extended version of who you are—it will push you to do what you do- all the better.

2. Fulfilment, the major definition of success

“…How to be used in the greater service to life. Ask this question and the answer will be returned and rewarded to you with fulfilment, which is the major definition of success, to me.”
To Oprah, fulfilment is directly synonymous with her idea of success. Citing her own experience, she states that one can only understand fulfilment, if they don’t have to approach another for the answer to their questions. It is only when they can fend for themselves, when they become self-reliant, they begin to emerge as the winner in their own stories. While seeking help and recommendations, we often forget that we are our greatest support-system. Next time you need help, look inwards. More often than not, you’ll find that you had the solution all along.

3. Listen to your inner-self

“Everybody has what I call this instinct, this inner voice. Every decision I’ve ever made that led me to the right space and place in my life, I got there because I relied on that inner voice.”
When Oprah made the decision of leaving the network to go launch her own show, she knew that she was taking a huge risk. She knew that she might fall flat on her face. However, as she said in her speech, she had this inner-voice urging her on, telling her that this was the right thing to do. And so she listened to it, and as a result, she is now one of the richest women in the world. All of us wrestle with making the ‘correct decisions’, no matter how big or small. There is always the possibility that we could make a huge mistake. However, we all have that voice in our head, telling us what we need to do. And more often than not, it helps us make some of the best decisions of our lives.

4. What is your intention?
“I decided that the notion of intention, knowing why you want to do something, not just doing it but understanding the why behind the doing, could also change the paradigm for every show.” Adding to this in a different speech, she said: “The reason we were number one for 25 solid years is because we intended to be.”
Inspired by the works of Gary Zukav, one of the greatest influences in her life, Oprah says that without intention, life never picks up and success becomes a far-off dream. However, when you intend to make something of your work, your ambitions, and your dreams, it pays off and you get where you need to be.
Oprah passionately believes that listening to her own desires and acting upon them with great intention got her where she is today. Maybe it’s time, you try the same.

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

Temi Olajide: How to Help Your Children Through Difficult Situations

Often times, children (especially the younger ones) may not have the ability to verbalize their feelings. As a parent, it is your duty to observe them carefully for any signs of stress. Stress symptoms may be long or short – it all depends on the severity of the situation.

As a parent, you would have gone through one difficult situation or the other – but when it comes to your kids, you sometimes might not have an idea on how to help them cope with difficult circumstances.

Life will always have its ups and downs and the earlier kids know how to cope in these kinds of situations, the better for them. The first thing to do when something negative happens is to answer their questions – this helps them understand what’s happening and teach them how to cope in the future.

Often times, children (especially the younger ones) may not have the ability to verbalize their feelings. As a parent, it is your duty to observe them carefully for any signs of stress. Stress symptoms may be long or short – it all depends on the severity of the situation.

Stress symptoms may include one or a combination of the following:

  • There may be changes in eating, sleeping, or bathroom habits
  • Children may experience increased separation anxiety
  • They may experience bad dreams
  • Crying spells
  • Kids may become withdrawn
  • Increased aggressive behavior or unnecessary tantrums

How can you help your children cope with stress? Here’s what you can do:

  • Encourage kids to express their feelings. Allow them to express whatever it is they’re experiencing and let them know it is okay to feel the way they do.
  • Ensure that they follow routines as much as possible. In addition, ensure they eat healthy meals and rest adequately.
  • For older kids, allow them read books that’ll teach them about characters in stressful situations – they will learn how to cope.
  • Encourage your kids to exercise. Simple exercises such as dancing, walking and swimming can help reduce the effect of stress.

If a child isn’t adjusted properly and is still showing signs of stress after a long period of time, it is in the best interest of the child that you seek professional advice immediately.

Helping Children Deal with Traumatic Events

In traumatic situations, children often react in different ways, depending on their personality. While some continue as though nothing happened, some may experience sadness or worse still, depression. If your child is experiencing difficulty, it is important that they are provided with the love and stability to help them process and overcome the situation.

Here are some guidelines to help you:

Answer children’s questions

The aftermath of an accident or dramatic incident may leave children with a lot of questions. Just like us, kids also need their feelings acknowledged, as well as an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Also, ensure that your explanation of the event matches the child’s developmental understanding.

Reassure them as much as you can

Physical contact such as holding and hugging not only reassures your little one, it’s also a great way to help your child feel safe. In addition, you can help the child feel better about the situation and provide comfort without giving wrong information or false hopes. For example, saying “I am sure everything is going to be fine” will help to put your child’s mind to rest.

Remain observant

Ensure that you keep a watchful eye on your child even as their thoughts and feelings about the situation evolves. Listen to them, ask questions and continue to reassure them as much as you can. Most importantly, give them the opportunity to express themselves.

Remember that life comes with its challenges and it’s your duty as a parent to teach and show your child(ren) how to go through life by handling these difficult situations positively.

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

Esther Ijewere: 5 Toxic People To Remove From Your Life Right Now

Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” If that’s true, you’d better believe that you’re going to catch any noxious qualities your top 5 are suffering from. Keep in mind: these kinds of infections aren’t only spread through physical contact. You can catch them through social media or even television. In other words, the 5 people you spend the most time with could be people you haven’t met, people whose Instagram profiles you constantly peruse or even fictional characters on a television show you watch daily.

At any rate, if any of your top 5 people are on this list, quarantine yourself from them post-haste before you catch their bad qualities.

The pessimist

You find the day looks a little grayer after hanging out with this fellow. She has a habit of seeing the mud instead of the sun, and she tends to leave glasses half empty all over your house. Her negativity is catching, so make sure to expel this friend from your life.

Symptoms of spending time with the pessimist are: loss of sunny attitude, prevalent dissatisfaction with daily activities, whiny voice and chronic complaining.

The envier

She can’t help but want what you have. This is the girl  who starts telling you how great single life is as soon as you have a boyfriend or plays down the fact that you rocked it at work. Good friends are happy about your successes, but the envier is not a good friend.

Symptoms of having this character in your life: unusual dissatisfaction with and unwarranted guilt for things you were previously grateful for.

The gossiper

I’m not going to say there’s no satisfaction from gossiping, but at the end of the day, do you want to be a person who talks about others behind their backs? This friend makes all that dishing so easy-it’s practically inescapable. He thinks he’s making others look bad, but when all is said and done, the gossiper is the one who’s looking pretty awful.

Symptoms of chilling with your gossiper homie: increased unfair judgment, damaged friendships and loss of trust.

The victim

“Woe is me!” is the mantra of this friend. She doesn’t appreciate your advice because there’s obviously nothing she can do to fix the situation. I mean, it’s not like any of her life’s tragedies are her fault.

Symptoms of having a victim in your life: recurring pointed finger, loss of problem-solving skills and reduced motivation.

The backstabber

Let’s be real-Caesar didn’t seem too surprised when Brutus approached him with a knife. You know which friends you can trust and which you can’t. Don’t give someone trust they don’t deserve. The backstabber wants the upper hand, and staying friends with this character is just giving him the opportunity to take it.

Symptoms of developing a relationship with a backstabber: damaged reputation, diminished self-esteem and increased desire to grab knives.

Even though these people are infecting you, take care when removing them from your life. After all, your goodness may have a healing effect on them. This doesn’t mean you should be in the business of fixing anyone. It just means you should do your best to avoid causing further damage when you might have the power to soothe their ails.

On the other hand, you can always avoid making these toxic people the top 5 who occupy your life. Limit their presence on your news feed. Dilute their influence by hanging out with them in groups. And if this toxic person is someone you don’t even know, remove him or her completely.

by
Keep Reading

©2025. WomenofRubies. All Rights Reserved.