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During the thick of the lockdown, many Nigerians supported families and gave them hope., Seun Ajiboye  was one of those people. The Babcock University graduate and founder of Sessylush Hair through her partnership with Esther Ijewere’s “Get Talking With Esther” Show  donated food items, and beauty accessories to families.

The beautiful Entrepreneur who  holds a Bachelor’s degree in Economics is also one of the Alumni of  Idea Builders  Initiative’s  “Women Mentoring Women” Platform, a platform that not only groomed her as a business woman, but also availed her the opportunity to have her own voice and identity.

Prior to starting Sessylush Hair;  Seun worked in the bank and headed several teams in a forex firm. Her desire to make every woman a diva with premium, affordable and lush hairs led to the establishment of Sessylush Hair.

Sessylushair is a hair and lifestyle brand that encourages women to remain beautiful and slay always with affordable and lush wigs, bundles and accessories, while also giving back to humanity and grooming other women in her line of business.

Seun is happily married with kids, and very passionate about humanity.

She shares her inspiring story in this interview.

Childhood Influence

I have always loved fashion, and love to look good. I fell in love with weaves and I have decided to help every lady look good with great hair at a remarkable price.

Inspiration behind  Sessy Lush Hair

The desire to provide quality and lush human hair at the best price possible.

The journey so far
It has been a rollercoaster of emotions. We are grateful for the reception thus far, it’s been overwhelming.

Other projects and activities

I am into forex and I also mentor youths, and young women who need clarity on how to navigate their startup business.

Being a mom, wife and business woman

I try my best to manage it well.  I take it every day at a time and I am very keen on outsourcing; I don’t exert energy on things that are not my forté

How  sessylush hair has  impacted my growth as a business woman

It has taught me patience, it has taught me how to be more accountable. It has tested me in ways I can’t express. It’s an amazing journey and I am excited for what the future holds.

My support system 

I am a lover of God and am grateful for where He is taking me to. I am also grateful for a supportive spouse. My husband has been amazing and appreciate him for being my number one fan , and support system.

Where Does Your Gut Feeling Come From?

Your gut is often considered to be your second brain. According to mindfulness-based psychotherapist Lena Franklin, the cells in your gut carry memories from your past and sends these signals to the brain – even if the thinking mind can’t identify the specific memory.

Because of this, the gut is often what people refer to when they have a ‘sixth sense’ about something or when they use something called their ‘intuition’. These subliminal messages about whether things are right or wrong, whether you should or shouldn’t go ahead, often bypass the logic of the brain and you receive the signals at a much deeper level.

Depending on how spiritual you want to get, many people believe that the universe, God, spirit (or whatever terminology you want to use) communicates through your inner body, rather than places like your head.

Should You Trust Your Gut Feelings? Why?

There is always a lot of debate when it comes to whether or not you should trust your gut. We live in a society where mind and logic rule all and the power of gut instincts has been left for the past or for crazy mystics that live in the mountains.

This is one of the main reasons why we even need to ask the question about whether or not we should trust our gut feelings. For most of us, they are a completely foreign concept, so no wonder we have trouble knowing whether or not we should trust them.

The truth is that your gut feelings are just as important as your mind, if not more important. If you know how to use them correctly, gut feelings are rarely as incorrect as the mind is.

Your gut feeling communicates in more subtle and truer ways than your mind, and it speaks closer to who you really are – rather than going through the filter of your negativity and overanalyzing biases in your head.

Like with any skill and habit that is worth training, listening to your gut can be very difficult to learn to begin with, especially if it is something that you have never really tuned into before. With a bit of practice though, your mind and your gut can work in tandem to help you manifest your best possible life.

5 Gut Instincts That You Shouldn’t Ignore

Mastering listening to your gut and intuition can take months and even years of practice, but it is certainly a worthwhile path to lasting inner peace and happiness.

However, for now, there are five gut instincts that you shouldn’t ignore, and these are ones that you are probably already familiar with:

1. I’ve Done This Well Before.

Everyone comes across particular stumbling blocks in their life. Sometimes there are obstacles that when looked at objectively and from a zoomed-out position, you can’t believe that they are obstacles because they seem so small. Yet here you are on the ground level, falling again and again at the same place.

The mind can always get in the way and ironically, the more that you allow the mind to step in during those crucial moments, the more power it gets whenever you re-enter those crucial moments – leading to a negative cycle

The only way out of this is to trust your gut feeling. Be aware that your mind will want to step in and tell you that you should do this and should do that. You might be tricked into thinking that it is helping you, but it isn’t.

Be still. Be aware. Let your body and instincts take over.

2. I’m in Danger.

This is probably one of the most powerful gut instincts that you will have experienced. Our survival instincts are arguably our most powerful set of instincts and are always on standby, waiting for us to need them.

These feelings often come from deep within your body and can be anything from a mild tingling that something isn’t right to something more extreme like a sharp pain. Either way, it is worth tuning in to your body and realizing that something is probably up.

However, it is also important to consider the other side of this gut instinct. Because danger often relates to life and death situations, it is extremely important that you don’t just factor in your intuitions. This is one of those cases where the mind should still be there in the background to make sure you aren’t missing something obvious.

Similarly, if your ‘I’m in danger’ feeling goes off inside of you frequently, it is probably faulty. The reason that this intuition is so powerful is that it is reserved for those very rare (sometimes never) events that can occur when your life is in danger.

If you frequently believe that your life is in danger, it might be time to review how much you listen to this intuition and why it is going off when it doesn’t need to.

3. I Feel off With This Person.

One of the most common intuitions that almost everyone has experienced at some point is the gut feeling of ‘feeling off with someone’. It is that small but noticeable shift in your energy field that tells you that something is not quite right when you are interacting with someone.

Just like with most gut feelings, this particular one is there to be noticed, not immediately jumped on. After all, it can be difficult at first to distinguish between a shift inside that signals something positive versus one that signals something negative.

If you just assume that something is wrong whenever you feel a shift, you are going to be running away from so many situations that could be great for you.

Notice the feeling, remember the feeling, see what your mind has to say, and let everything play out over a bit of time. As long as you notice initially that something is ‘off’, you will be more aware and present. In this state, your judgment is clear and you can decide whether you want to follow through on your initial gut feeling or not.

4. I Feel I Need to Show Empathy.

A positive gut instinct that is prominent within our lives is the instinct or intuition that we feel when we feel that someone might need our help. Because showing support and compassion for others is always a good thing, this is definitely an instinct that you will want to listen to.

You may feel it when you are at a group gathering and you see someone shy on the edges. Your intuition may tell you to invite them in. You may feel a shift when you see someone you care about facing a difficult time. Your intuition may tell you to comfort them and see how they are.

Notice that many people think that these sorts of actions come from the mind when they don’t. “I should go over there and make her feel welcome” comes after your intuition has already pushed you in that direction. Your mind might even push back insisting that she is fine and doesn’t need your help. It is your gut instinct again pushing back saying that you should show empathy.

Whenever your gut instincts are telling you to be empathetic, it’s a good idea to listen.

5. This Is Special.

If you ask anyone about some of the greatest decisions that they have made in their lives, whether it be marrying the right person, jumping at a scary business venture, or deciding to write a book, most people will have the same explanation: it just felt right.

The mind is the perfect tool for making small-scale decisions that only involve a few variables. When it comes to the truly meaningful and life-changing events in this world, intuition is what it’s all about.

The human experience is deeply engrained with a greater sense of ‘knowing’, far beyond what the mind can ever comprehend. This is what people talk about when they say something didn’t really make sense, but it felt right.

It is one of the most important gut instincts to listen to. It symbolizes a potentially pivotal moment in your life. As soon as you notice it, you just have to take the final and most difficult step: will you go against your thinking mind and trust your gut? If you can, you will find joy and happiness beyond your wildest, mind-based dreams.

Conclusion.

So there you have it. These aren’t the only gut feelings that you can and will experience in your life – there is a broad spectrum that will gradually open up to you – but these are the most important and noteworthy ones.

If you start to listen to your intuition more and give your thinking mind a back seat role, your life will completely open up to so many amazing possibilities.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have reportedly quit all social media permanently due to the “hate” they have encountered on the platforms.

A source close to the couple told The Times of London that they have “no plans” to use social media for their new company Archewell and are “very unlikely” to resume use of their personal accounts.

The couple are understood to have become disillusioned by the “hate” they encountered on social media.

The pair use their Instagram account, @sussexroyal, which has over 10.4 million followers to share public health advice on the coronavirus as well as updates on their charity work, but they have not posted since March 2020.

It comes after Meghan spoke of the “almost unsurvivable” pain she suffered at the hands of online trolls last year.

In an interview with Californian high school students for Mental Health Day last October, the Duchess said she was “the most trolled person in the world” in 2020 – and urged anyone suffering to speak out.

“I’m told that in 2019 I was the most trolled person in the entire world, male or female.

“I don’t care if you’re 15 or you’re 25 – if people are saying things about you that aren’t true, what that does to your mental and emotional health is so damaging.”

The Duchess also spoke of the dangers of social media for teen mental health, adding: “Yes it’s a great place to connect but it’s also a place where there is a lot of disconnection.”

The news marks another departure from royal life for the couple, as other members of the Royal Family regularly use Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook to promote their official and charity work.

In March 2020, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle made headlines when stepped down as senior royals.

Five men have been arrested after a 14-year-old girl was gang-raped and stabbed to death in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. It is alleged that on Thursday, January 7, 2021 at about 08:30, police received information of a body of a female lying in bushes between Gelvandale and Algoa Park. She sustained multiple stab wounds.

 

14-year-old girl gang-raped and stabbed to death in South Africa

On Friday, January 8, 2021, she was identified as Patronicia (Mandy) Jordaan (14) from Kobus Road in Helenvale. She was last seen by a relative on Monday, 04 January 2021 in Kobus Road.

The 72 hour activation plan was immediately implemented with a task team comprising of Gelvandale detectives, Crime Intelligence , Provincial Crime Scene Investigation, Anti-Gang Unit , Public Order Policing, CIT Combatting Team and the State Pathologist.

Early on Saturday morning, January 9, 2021 at about 06:00, the hunt for the suspects began and at about 07:15, the first two suspects were arrested at a house in Old Stanford Road. A few minutes later, three other suspects were rounded up at houses in Bongo and Pienaar Streets. All suspects have gang affiliations and are aged between 18-33 years old. Further arrests are expected.

It is further alleged that on Tuesday evening, 05 January 2021 at about 21:30, Ms Jordaan was in the company of 12 males at a house in Bongo Street which is used for smoking drugs. She was allegedly gang raped.

At about 03:00 on Wednesday, 06 January 2021, everyone left the house and split up with Ms Jordaan in the company of 6 males. On Thursday, 07 January 2021, her body was discovered.

The arrested suspects will appear in the Port Elizabeth magistrates’ court on Monday, 11 January 2021 on charges of rape and murder.

The Provincial Commissioner, Lt Gen Liziwe Ntshinga applauded the multi-disciplinary team who cracked a case of a gruesome murder and rape of a 14-year-old teenager in Helenvale, Port Elizabeth.

Lt Gen Ntshinga expressed her shock and sadness of such a heinous act of violence against a helpless child.

“Violence against children is totally intolerable therefore we will ensure that these perpetrators are denied bail. The occurrence and societal problem of gender based violence continues to be a profound and widespread problem in our country. The SAPS further reiterates its commitment to eradicate and eliminate all forms of gender based violence and we call on our citizens to unite against this sick scourge.” added Lt Gen Ntshinga.

 

14-year-old girl gang-raped and stabbed to death in South Africa14-year-old girl gang-raped and stabbed to death in South Africa

A soldier stationed at the famed Fort Bliss Barracks in the US, will be charged with the sexual assault of fellow soldier Asia Graham, who was found dead in the barracks on New Years Eve.

US Army officials have announced that a private first class soldier will be arraigned and tried for the sexual assault, but have not released the suspect’s name. Graham, 19, also a private first class, was a human resource specialist from North Carolina.

US soldier to be charged with sexual assault of 19-year-old soldier Asia Graham after she was found dead in her barracks on New Years Eve

She reported the assault on June 1, 2020 saying it took place in December 2019 leading the army to begin an investigation that they concluded in December 1, 2020.

US soldier to be charged with sexual assault of 19-year-old soldier Asia Graham after she was found dead in her barracks on New Years Eve

After the investigation, a top commander in the army agreed to her allegation that she was raped but in a huge turn of events, on December 31 2020, she was found dead in the barracks.

US soldier to be charged with sexual assault of 19-year-old soldier Asia Graham after she was found dead in her barracks on New Years Eve

Army officials say they do not suspect foul play in her death .

The base command said it promptly began an investigation and made sure Graham and the accused soldier were not living in the same building or working in the same areas.

Her mother believes the military failed to protect Graham after she came forward.

US soldier to be charged with sexual assault of 19-year-old soldier Asia Graham after she was found dead in her barracks on New Years Eve

‘I was with the military life I spoke very highly about the military. But in her situation, I think the leadership failed her,’ Asia’s mom Nicole Graham said to WBTV.

‘Do I think she was murdered? No. But do I think if it would have handled better from the beginning, I think she would have had the proper help before and she would have been OK.’

Gen. Sean Bernabe, the commander of the 1st Armored Division at Fort Bliss, has ordered a military trial for the suspect on the sexual assault case.

‘Maj. Gen. Bernabe is committed to maintaining the integrity and impartiality of the military justice system. As a reminder to the Fort Bliss community, charges are merely accusations, and all Americans are presumed innocent until proven guilty,’ an Army statement said. At the arraignment the judge will schedule a date for a military trial, referred to by the military as a court martial.Her cause of death is unknown at the moment as the Army and her family wait for the results of an autopsy.Graham enlisted in the Army in July 2019 and came to Fort Bliss five months later after completing combat training in Missouri and South Carolina.

Fort Bliss is just the latest Army base to face intense scrutiny in recent months, joinging the likes of Fort Hood, where another young female soldier Vanessa Guillen was murdered, and Fort Bragg, for a series of sexual assault claims and deaths.

2020 ended leaving me feeling emotionally exhausted , even while I consciously detoxed at intervals through out the year, When  I laid my head on my pillow on December 31st ,  I felt I used up all my energy, and I could hear  my body screaming “Slam the brakes, Esther”. I listened….only to wake up on January 1st to the sad news that a friend passed away due to Covid19.

This is my situation, but truth is we all get emotionally exhausted at some point in our lives. It is normal to experience an overdose of one emotion or another and deal with their hardship and struggle, and only through this experience can we truly see the beauty of life. But when the emotional exhaustion turns into a perpetual experience of negative emotions, it isn’t healthy anymore.

Emotions are the driving forces that build our character, and they give flavor to our lives. The more we understand emotions, the better we can deal and nurture them. The ability to deal and nurture our emotions and the emotions of others is called emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the capacity for identifying the signs of emotional exhaustion. It is natural to be emotional, show emotions to oneself, and share and express them to others. It is a crucial part of the individual’s personal and social development.

But can we really recognize our emotions in a way so we don’t get entangled by them—in a way that we get emotionally exhausted?

The Meaning of Emotional Exhaustion

Emotional exhaustion is the state when negative emotions overwhelm the present moment—in any aspect of life—over and over again,. Today, emotional exhaustion is closely linked to emotional labor, which when poorly managed results in being burn out

However, emotional exhaustion can also be an outcome of social, familial, friendly, or intimate relationships.

Regardless of the source, when you repeatedly feel the following:

  • Worried
  • Bored
  • Anxious
  • Unworthy
  • Unhappy

This increases the emotions of becoming even more:

  • Frustrated
  • Fearful
  • Doubtful
  • Angry and
  • Annoyed

And you reach a state of being emotionally exhausted—a state of dullness, confusion, and tiredness.

“Repeatedly” means daily. Every day, deep inside of you, there is the feeling of one or few of the above-mentioned emotions, overwhelming your present moment, playing a part in your daily activities—robbing a significant amount of your physical and mental strength and vitality.

What Are the Symptoms?

The symptoms are subjective or objective indicators that you feel within yourself. The first symptoms feel mostly like:

  • Tiredness – a subjective indicator that you feel somehow exhausted (physically or mentally), which at the same time might also be true that you’re not if your statement has the inclination of complaining.
  • Boredom – an objective indicator that gives you the unpleasant feeling of not knowing what to do—being disengaged from positive emotions, feeling dull, and empty.

Further symptoms would be the constant feeling of being unworthy of the things you do or unhappy with the things you do, regardless of your accomplishments.

Feeling constantly tired (physically) and disconnected from what is going on around you is a symptom that you’re emotionally exhausted. These symptoms lead inevitably to a behavioral pattern that evolves into a chronic habit of complaining. This leads to the objective signs of emotional exhaustion, which impacts professional and social life.

What Are the Signs?

The signs of emotional exhaustion can be detected through speech, tone of voice, body, and facial movements. Normally. they are to be detected by an outside observant like a professional or a loved one—any trusted person with an understanding of how emotions work.

Here are two things we need to do to identify the signs (as well as the symptoms) of emotional exhaustion:

  1. Improve self-awareness for more precise detection of the signs (the same goes for the symptoms as well);
  2. The openness to share our situation, feelings, and emotions with a trusted person—an observer with enough competence on the subject matter who can inform us about any signs of emotional exhaustion.

3 Signs of Emotional Exhaustion

The signs of emotional exhaustion are hidden in your emotional expression, and they show through your mood and the way you react and manage your emotions.

When lacking self-awareness, the most efficient way to identify the signs of emotional exhaustion is to seek professional support or ask your loved ones to have a closer look at your behavior, your reactions—like body posture, facial movements (micro-expression), and verbal or non-verbal expressions.

I know, it is not easy to share such personal feelings and weaknesses with others. But one thing that we must understand is that we are all interconnected, and our personal growth is dependent on communication and interrelation with the people around us. And that applies especially when things go wrong.

If you don’t open to your closest, how can you nurture your positive emotions and express positive qualities and virtues to others?

Self-awareness detects emotional exhaustion. As a meditation teacher, it is my daily business to analyze, study, and share my opinions about emotions. The meditation as the fundamental element of reviving the self-awareness can help to manage this whole subject matter.

My research in this field has proven that we can detect signs of emotional exhaustion once we objectively experience the following moods:

1. You Feel Tired Very Quickly and Very Often (Physical Exhaustion)

It is nothing but natural to become physically exhausted after performing physical activity. After a rest, the body recovers, recharges strength, and replenishes energy. Usually, in this condition, you have the stamina and the resilience to absorb many of the below-mentioned signs. But once the physical exhaustion becomes chronic, the body cannot replenish its energy that easily. That’s when you will feel fatigued.

2. You Lose Interest in Engaging in Daily Activities

Chronic tiredness results in a mood that expresses demotivation, idleness, annoyance, and frustration. These are signs of emotional exhaustion—showing no motivation, no vitality for engaging in or exploring new things in life.

3. You Feel Insecure, Incapable, and Unworthy

The need for isolation arises and you reach a mood where you feel insecure. Doubtful and anxious, you begin to question your capabilities and your self-esteem sinks lower and lower. The cocktail of these feelings and moods creates so much confusion, resentment, and sadness up to a point of complete emotional exhaustion—a state of burn-out.

How to Prevent or Get Over This Exhaustion?

One organic way to recover from emotional exhaustion: Meditation. I meditate alot .

  • Prevent the development of emotions—in other words, learn to identify the emotion before it arises and cut its process of evolvement. For example, the feeling of boredom leads to annoyance, and that leads to rejection, irritation, frustration, and so on.
  • Once a negative thought arises and creates a destructive feeling, it is a sign that negative emotion is about to erupt. The idea here is to disrupt the creation of this process and exchange it with a constructive mental and physical activity.
  • As emotions are the result of the unconscious repetition and acknowledgment of feelings that are supported by the constant creation of thoughts, it is imperative to understand that the root cause of emotional exhaustion is found in the creation of these thoughts.

Final Thoughts

One thing worth remembering is that no human being is spared from the turmoil of emotions. You, me, and everyone else suffer and enjoy the effect of the emotions that we create for ourselves.

The above technique sheds light on how you can identify, understand, and move through the whole spectrum of emotions to get over the emotional exhaustion and achieve emotional balance. This way, you can safely experience being the victim as well as the beneficiary of your various emotions.

Know that emotions are there to be analyzed and understood, not only to be enjoyed or avoided. Embrace them, handle them, and don’t get lost in them.

Stay Safe, Stay Safe and keep your thoughts positive in 2021!

Occasionally feeling stressed is a common experience you’ll deal with throughout your life. Many areas of your life, ranging from work to domestic life, are potentially stress-inducing for a wide range of reasons. As per Gallup data, 55% of Americans are stressed during the day, making them one of the world’s most stressed-out populations. As such, it is vital to know some useful stress relief tips to help you cope with life’s burdens as they arise. Take a look at these helpful points below.

Do something pleasurable

Several experts agree that one way to effectively de-stress is to engage in simple, everyday activities that please you. Stress is often cumulative, building up from multiple sources in your life. If left unattended, this cumulative stress can eventually overwhelm you both physically and mentally. Engaging in occasional acts of pleasure interrupts this stress accumulation by inhibiting your brain’s anxiety responses, preventing it from reaching overwhelming limits and making it easier for you to cope.

Consequently, try to engage in simple acts of pleasure to give you breaks from your stressful routine. Taking a warm bath, spending time on a favorite hobby, occasionally treating yourself to some “comfort food, etc., are significant steps you can take towards stress relief. Additionally, many experts recommend occasional vaping for stress relief because it helps you remain relaxed and happy. Therefore, feel free to order some Delta 8 THC carts for your vape pen to help you stay calm and happy despite your life’s many stressors.

Go outside more often

A Science Direct study proves that spending quality time outdoors benefits your mental health greatly by alleviating feelings of pressure and mental stress. Additionally, other research from an emerging scientific field called ecotherapy shows that spending time in nature can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Therefore, a simple and inexpensive stress relief tactic you can use is to spend more time in nature rather than being cooped up indoors all the time.

Indoor living, whether in the home or office, is full of stress inducers. Being outdoors substitutes these routine high-pressure environments with calmer surroundings that have an instant mood-boosting and recharging effect. Spending time outdoors can also help you gain a crucial perspective on life because you see a bigger picture of the world that transcends mere domestic and work life. So, integrate outdoor activities like biking, hiking, taking long walks, and camping into your routine to escape your usual stressors and boost your mental health.

Have a good laugh

Laughter, they say, is the best medicine. Indeed, several health experts and researchers agree that this saying’s authenticity has solid scientific backing. According to science, laughter stimulates your organs because you take in more oxygen anytime you laugh, which is good for your muscles, lungs, and heart. Stress typically causes tension in parts of your body, and the spasms of laughter unwind these tense areas by making them more relaxed. A good laugh can reportedly relieve your body’s physical tension for up to 45 minutes!

Laughter releases endorphins that give you the “feel-good factor,” counteracting the harmful effects of cortisol (stress hormone) and reducing your blood pressure as a result. Laughter also distracts you from worrying thoughts, improves your mood and even your immune system. Therefore, sneak in episodes of some widely acclaimed sitcoms like Modern Family and The Office or revisit some Dave Chappelle classics to have a good laugh that is sure to de-stress you.

Quit multitasking

Although multitasking seems like a more efficient way of getting things done, several experts advise that this could be a deadly stress inducer. Science explains that your brain can ideally focus on one task at a time, so juggling more than one task drains your brain beyond its natural capabilities. Your brain copes with these increased demands by pumping more adrenaline and other stress hormones that give you an energy boost. A steady supply of these stress hormones over time strains your physical and mental health, causing conditions like depression, heart disease, back pain, etc.

Aside from experiencing physical and mental health struggles when you multitask, you are also counterproductive; dividing your efforts and attention between tasks results in limited input for each of the tasks. Consequently, you may take more time to complete tasks while churning out substandard output. Therefore, try to cut out multitasking in your daily routine to reduce stress and increase your productivity.

Try the 4 A’s

Multiple experts recommend practicing the 4As of stress relief as a potent way to de-stress in your professional and private life. The 4A’s are avoiding, altering, adapting to, and accepting situations that cause stress in your life. Avoiding stressful situations may help to eliminate the stress sources that surround you. For example, by learning to say no to proposals that are more than you can handle, you avoid potential stressors. Avoidance also means limiting the amount of time or ending relationships with people who consistently stress you to control your mental health better.

Taking control of your environment is also an effective way to relieve stress. For example, if going to the market is a stressor, consider doing your grocery shopping online. Effectively altering situations can also be useful in reducing stress and anxiety. Communicate feelings that stress you instead of bottling them up because bottled emotions cause resentment build-up, facilitating a spike in your stress levels. Finding the right work-life balance is also key to altering situations, so keep this in mind to relieve stress.

Adapting to conditions is the third “A” you should try to de-stress, mainly because there are situations you can’t change. Therefore, you can reframe problems to cope with difficulties better instead of allowing them to stress you out. For example, instead of fuming about being stuck in traffic, see it as an opportunity to enjoy some alone time or listen to your favorite podcasts. Finally, accepting situations you can’t change like other people’s behavior is also an effective stress reliever.

 

Source: BauceMag

Life goals are just as the name suggests: Goals that can play a major part in shaping your life.

Some examples of life goals include:

  1. To get fit
  2. To build a circle of supportive friends
  3. To become a thought leader
  4. To learn a new language
  5. To write a book
  6. To become debt-free
  7. To take up a new hobby that you’ll enjoy for the rest of your life

Of course, there are no limits to what life goals you might choose. We all have our unique experiences and skills, so what works for you may not work for someone else.

Choosing Your Goals

The trick to choosing life goals is to spend some time looking at all areas of your life.

Analyze specific areas of your life to see where your strengths and weaknesses are. The six life aspects are a good place to start this journey:

1. Physical Health

If your health is below par, your energy and drive will be affected, too. This will hinder your ability to achieve your aims. The good news is, however, that through simple changes, like improving your diet and exercising more, you can transform your health.

Goals to consider in this life aspect are:

  • Losing weight
  • Building muscle
  • Increasing stamina
  • Learning how to relax

2. Family and Relationships Fulfillment

Our success and well-being depend heavily on our relationships. Negative people can knock you off track, while positive people can help and support you throughout your life. It’s also important that you have a partner or close friend that you can share your fears, dreams, and goals with.

Goals to consider in this life aspect are:

  • Spending less time with negative people
  • Spending more time with positive people
  • Being grateful for your loving and supportive relationships
  • Widening your circle of friends to increase your influence

3. Work and Career Prosperity

Who doesn’t want a rewarding job or career? However, many people do not have these things. They feel miserable at work every day. However, life doesn’t have to be like this. You can break free from this trap by setting clear and realistic targets.

Goals to consider in this life aspect are:

  • Getting promoted
  • Changing careers
  • Setting up your own business

4. Wealth and Money Satisfaction

Not having enough money to do the things you want to do is frustrating, but for some people it’s even worse — they have debts that keep increasing every month. Clearly, money management is a vital skill and one that should really be taught in our schools.

However, it’s never too late to get your finances in order. Your focus should be on offering a service to the world. If it’s something that people need, then you should charge fairly for it and enjoy the rewards.

Goals to consider in this life aspect are:

  • Becoming a master of money management
  • Paying off your debts
  • Finding ways to earn more
  • Learning how to invest your spare income

5. Spiritual Wellness

Many people take comfort in believing in a power greater than themselves. It allows them to be humble and to keep their lives in perspective. It also offers them strength in times of difficulty. In my experience, spiritual wellness will definitely help you with your physical, emotional and mental wellness.

Goals to consider in this life aspect are:

  • Learning how to meditate
  • Joining a spiritual group
  • Reading (and contemplating) classic religious and philosophical books

6. Mental Strength

If your mind is weak, you’ll also be weak-willed. This means that you’ll find it hard to achieve the things you want. But if you can develop mental strength, then you’ll have focus, drive, and conviction. You’ll go from being a wishy-washy non-achiever to someone who gets things done!

Goals to consider in this life aspect are:

  • Building new habits
  • Developing your skills and knowledge
  • Playing games like Sudoku and chess
  • Pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone

I suggest you take plenty of time to think about the six life aspects. Hone in on the areas that you are weakest at, and make these your starting point.

For example, if your health is holding you back, then set life goals that will revitalize you. These could include things like: waking up early, cutting back on caffeine and sugar, and going for a daily walk, run or cycle. (Ideally, you could set a goal to do all these things.)

Putting Life Goals Into Action

Of course, it’s not enough to choose some goals that you’d like to achieve in your life — you also need to make a plan to achieve them!

My recommendation is that you pick just two or three small goals to start with. Set a date to accomplish them by, and then write down the necessary steps you’ll need to take to make the goals a reality.

For instance, if you’ve lost the “reading habit” but would like to rekindle it, you could set yourself a goal of reading one book per month. The steps to achieve this would be:

  1. Choose a book you’d like to read
  2. Purchase or lend the book from a library
  3. Check the amount of pages the book has
  4. Calculate how long it will take you to read each page
  5. Calculate how long it will take you read the whole book

Once you know how many hours it will take you to complete the book, it will then be straightforward to plan how many times a week you should set aside for reading and how long each reading session should be.

If it’s been a while since you’ve read a book, then the first month might be hard for you. But after that, you’ll begin to build the habit, and you’ll have no problem reading one or more books per month.

If non-fiction titles are your thing, you’ll be able to learn a tremendous amount over the course of a year. If fiction titles are your thing, then imagine the journeys you’ll go on!

When you accomplish your smaller goals, you’ll be ready to choose bigger and more substantial goals.

The secret behind being able to accomplish big goals is to break then down into bite-size chunks. This will make the goals easier to achieve as you’ll have clear steps to take you all the way to the end. Plus, at any point in time, you’ll be able to see how far along the path you are.

Final Thoughts

If you fail to have life goals, you’ll likely fail at life.

They is a big difference between just hoping that something good will come along and having a clear picture of what you want and then taking definite steps to get it.

Once put into action, life goals will transform your existence. You’ll be happier, healthier, and more successful.

Now, you just need to make a start. As Lao Tzu once said:

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

 

What are Personal Values?

Personal values are part of the moral code that guides our actions and defines who we are. They are what we consider important, the things that matter to our well-being and happiness.

The simplest way to describe what personal values are is to think in terms of your personality and behaviors. Ultimately, your values become woven into your personality and become part of You.

Some of these are more of a universal rule of conduct—think along the lines of religion and the morals it teaches us. Then, there are some values that each of us decides to adopt, depending on what we hold dear in our lives and what we want to achieve and become. For instance, I may value kindness and compassion over fame and popularity.

To give you an idea of some personal values you may have, here is a good list:

  • Authenticity
  • Achievement
  • Adventure
  • Boldness
  • Compassion
  • Determination
  • Fairness
  • Faith
  • Fame
  • Friendships
  • Happiness
  • Honesty
  • Kindness
  • Learning
  • Loyalty
  • Meaningful Work
  • Openness
  • Optimism
  • Pleasure
  • Respect
  • Self-Respect
  • Spirituality
  • Stability
  • Success
  • Trustworthiness
  • Wealth
  • Wisdom

As you can imagine, the above can play out differently for each of us—there are varied combinations and priorities we use to adopt these. The end result?
The writer and poet Robert Zend greatly put it:

“People have one thing in common: they are all different.”

Values are often more or less visible to others and are expressed through our current actions, words, behaviors, but more importantly, they also carve the people that we are striving to become in the future.

That is, our personal values are not only an extension of ourselves, but they also shape our characters. They are us—who we are and what we stand for.

Why Are Personal Values Important?

Why does it all matter so much anyway?

Personal values are the main driver behind our personality and actions, and any endeavor to re-invent ourselves will have to tap into our current moral principles to give ourselves a chance at a more fulfilling life.

Knowing our moral principles can aid us in a variety of ways. It can help us find our purpose, ease decision-making, increase our confidence, and guide us through difficult situations.

Here are few other benefits of how knowing our own codes of conduct can help us turn our lives around.

  • Personal Values Help with Self-awareness

Self-awareness has earned a lot of attention in recent years. Indeed, its advantages are undeniable. It has been linked to enhanced personal development and better relationships, among a plethora of other gains. It helps us make sounder decisions, communicate more effectively, get more promotions, and be less likely to lie, cheat, or steal.

Simply put, self-awareness is a must-have skill we should all nurture.

Self-awareness is basically an awareness of your personality. There is certainly value to be had—personally and professionally—in what the Greats have wisely taught us: Know Thyself.

How would you otherwise know what you want to achieve, what you are capable of, or how far you can push yourself if you don’t have a clue who the person staring back in the mirror really is?

Understanding who we are begins with an awareness of what drives us, what makes us tick, and what we hold dear—that is, it starts with knowing our personal values.

  • Personal Values Influence Our Outcomes

What do you do with all the self-knowledge, though?

The coaches and gurus often advise that, in order to succeed and get everything we want in life, we need to play to our strengths. Using our powers instead of dwelling on our foibles can make us happier and less depressed. Of course, this implies that we know what these are to start with.

There is another, equally important side to why knowing ourselves and what we value in life can be beneficial. Yes, I’m talking about personal reinvention, self-improvement, life enhancement, and all the similar buzzworthy concepts of late. But it all comes down to change. Bluntly speaking, you can’t change what you don’t know.

When we talk about personal reinvention, we usually mean creating new habits, new behaviors, new ways of thinking, and, of course, adopting new personal values.

To change our outcomes and, ultimately, our lives, we need to change our actions and mindset. In order to do this, we need to weed out the trifles and decide what truly matters.

How to Find and Nurture Your Personal Values

To discover exactly what your personal values are, there are questions and techniques you can use. Here are a handful to help you get started.

1. Ask “Who Am I Today?”

As adults, we all have a certain set of values (adopted knowingly or not), which guide our actions and define the people we are today.

So, a good starting point is to make a list of 10-15 values we believe we live by. Use the list I provided at the beginning or find online a more detailed one. Pick the ones that best define you. Be honest with yourself.

To get a 360-degree picture of yourself, I would recommend that you do the same exercise with your family and friends. Show them the full list and ask them to pick the values that they think are synonymous with your personality. Do the two lists match?

The goal of this activity is to draw a realistic portrait of who you are. It is the starting point of the bigger pursuits of self-awareness, self-reinvention, and leading a more fulfilling life.

2. Prioritize Your Values

Not all we deem of importance is created equally in our minds. That is, some values are more significant to us than others. This is what determines your primary and secondary behaviors. For instance, you may value family and career, but we all know that a balance is hard to achieve. In your mind, one tops the other. Therefore, you would always take steps to advance what is dearer to you.

Read your list often. It’s also a way to reinforce your identity. Sometimes you can get so caught-up in the web of your busy everydays that you forget to focus on the most important person in your life: you.

Get to know yourself so that you can like yourself and avoid sabotaging your own efforts to change the things you want to.

3. Complete a Values Audit

The beautiful thing about personal values is that we all have a say and a choice in the people we evolve to become.

That’s what the gurus always trumpet: If you don’t like your life, change it.

Of course, this is easier said than done.

A good starting point is to have your values list, ranked by importance, and to re-assess it regularly—say semi-annually or annually. As our life circumstances change, so may the things we consider important to us. For instance, when you are fresh out of college, financial security may not be a top guiding principle as it may be for someone married with kids.

Read your existing list often and change it around as needed. Your primary behaviors will follow what you find significant.

But there is another side to this—it’s the process of adding of new values, embracing and making them part of our lives. One way to find such new values is to look at the people we respect and want to be like. Listen and watch them carefully— what principles do they live by? Can you emulate them?

Once you find a new guiding value you want to adopt, you must own it. As the popular author and entrepreneur Mark Manson writes:

“So, here’s the catch: sitting around thinking about better values to have is nice. But nothing will solidify until you go out and embody that new value. Values are won and lost through life experience. Not through logic or feelings or even beliefs. They have to be lived and experienced to stick. This often takes courage.”

Therefore, a value audit is an essential part of the process, both to re-examine our current priorities and to find new mountains to climb.

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

Change is part of the re-invention process.

Final Thoughts

In the end, our personal values are our moral compass of what to say, how to behave, how to treat ourselves and others, and what life choices to make.

Knowing what someone finds important can help you draw an accurate picture of their inner landscape, and it can also guide how you treat them, speak to them, appeal to them, or convince them to go your way. It is a valuable insight to have.

Research confirms this:

“Personal values reflect what people think and state about themselves. Understanding personal values means understanding human behaviour.”

Like our personalities, what we believe to matter in our lives is highly subjective, nuanced, and sometimes even self-contradicting. And it’s dynamic—it largely follows our life trajectory, but it can be further colored by the people that we meet, the goals we set, and the events that enter our lives.

But what we believe in, our personal values, are ultimately what shapes us as individuals.

If you want to make any kind of change, you must decide what to value and where your priorities lie.

That’s the surest path to self-renovation.

Have you ever wanted to achieve personal success in your life but aren’t sure how? Almost all of us have. Except it is only a select few that realise that it is having the right goals in life that will carry you towards the dream of having your best days in front of you.

Personal goals come in every area of life, whether it be deeply personal ones, health-related, financial-related or how to become a better person in society. Prioritising sleep, practising mindfulness and keeping up with long, lost friends are just some of the goals you need to adopt to lead a happy and successful life.

Imagine if you had a set of amazing goals that you could begin today and continuing pursuing until your final days. How would that make you feel?

Once you realize that there is no set destination in this game of life, only a dance to be danced, you are free to achieve your own version of personal success.

This article is set out to help you achieve just that. It highlights a variety of goals in life in different areas such as health, finance and creativity that will help guide you toward fulfilling your own potential.

With 20 different goals, it is intended for you to take your favourites and run with them:

Personal Goals in Life:

1. Pursue Equanimity in Yourself

Whilst many people pursue happiness, wealth and health in themselves, it is usually only through equanimity where most of these things become accessible.

Equanimity is defined as peak calmness and composure, no matter what life is throwing at you. If you can find equanimity in the most difficult of situations, then you will breeze through situations that others (and your previous self) found extremely stressful.

The best way to achieve equanimity is to practice putting yourself in tough situations again and again. Just like learning to drive a car, gradually what used to terrify you becomes routine and that is how you start to level up.

2. Travel as Often as You Can

People often talk about travel being a gateway to the soul but it is hard to recognize just how true it is until you have done it for yourself.

Travelling doesn’t even have to involve flying to the other side of the world to become a Buddhist monk for a year. The benefits of travel can come from something as simple as a weekend away in a foreign city in your own country.

Travel not only opens you up to new people, new cultures and new experiences, it also helps you grow as a person by reminding you that there is more life going on outside of your own personal bubble.

So get out there and make travelling one of your goals in life!

3. Take a Class That Interests You but Is Irrelevant to Your Career

As a person who is passionate about self-improvement and creating a better quality of life, you probably love to learn new things and feel productive.

Sometimes though, you can overdo the whole career thing and forget about what truly sets your heart on fire. You forget about all of the hobbies you used to pursue before ‘life got in the way’.

So go out and take a class that you are fascinated by or used to love that has nothing to do with your work. Not only will life get back some sparkle but it will keep you much more refreshed for when it is time to work again.

4. Love Life for What It Is, Not What You Think It ‘Should’ Be

There are countless times when life doesn’t go your way. It is useless to fight it, so you just need to accept and embrace whatever life has in store.

When you are consumed by what life ‘should’ be like, you are drowning in your own expectations and shortcomings. This is a sure-fire way to lead a life of frustration and disappointment.

The only way around this is to enjoy every up and every down. Life is a symphony with a variety of notes and melodies; stopping and replaying one note that you like or don’t like spoils the whole thing.

5. Live Presently

Living in the past or in the future is where most of human suffering lies. It is often regrets about what you should have done or worries about what you need to do that lead to unnecessary negative emotion.

It is easy to forget that you only ever live in the present moment. Every thought and experience that you have ever had has taken place in the ever-flowing ‘now’.

Therefore it makes a lot of sense to make one of your life goals to live presently, as this is the only place where life happens.

Health Goals:

6. Run for 10km

Why 10km? Because it is not short enough that you can tick it off your life goals list with only minimal training but isn’t too long that you never start training.

10km at a good pace equates to about an hour of running. You can do that, right?

Even if you do happen to fall short of the marker, running is an excellent health habit to pick up anyway as it requires no gym membership and is accessible to anyone with a pair of running shoes. It should definitely have a place on your list.

7. Hold a Deep Squat for One Minute

You might think that this is an easy goal in life to accomplish because tiny babies can do it with ease. You might want to think again!

Although some of us can do it with relative ease, a surprising majority of people either struggle to get deep enough or fall backwards off balance when they get into the deep squat.

Holding a deep squat for a minute or more every day is a great way to boost your ankle, knee, lower back and core mobility as well as boosting your balance. All essential for moving (literally) through life.

8. Eat for 80% Health, 20% Pleasure

One of the best pieces of advice that I have ever received comes from a certified dietician talking about her own diet. She eats 80% for health and 20% for pleasure.

Let me explain: 80% of what she consumes is food that she knows is good for her that she may or may not particularly like. The other 20% is food that she loves, no matter how ‘bad’ it is for her.

This is an awesome life goal and diet to have and live by. It recognizes that the vast majority needs to be the good stuff but life isn’t truly lived without the tasty stuff every now and then too.

9. Drink More Water, Less of Everything Else

Although things like coffee, protein shake, herbal tea and even nicotine have their place for making you feel like a more productive human being, it is important to remember the water.

With over half of your body made up of H2O, getting at least a couple of glasses of the good stuff a day is essential to your overall well-being. Especially as your body uses water in all of its cells, organs and tissues and the role it plays in many other vital processes.

All of the other stimulants can also be addictive – everyone knows a guy who is hooked on coffee to keep a normal functioning body. Substitute in the water as a worthwhile long-term life goal for your health.

10. Prioritize Sleep

The hustling ‘no-sleep culture’ is slowly fading away and with it, a new appreciation for our oldest biological friend – sleep.

The literature on the importance of sleep is growing every day and is causing even the hardest-working entrepreneurs out there like Gary Vee and Mark Manson to start prioritising some shut-eye.

Sleep has been shown to improve learning, reduce risk of depression and even napping has been shown to be a great way to counteract some of the effects of a bad night of sleep.

These are just some of the exhaustive number of benefits of getting a good night sleep; so make it a priority.

Creative Goals:

11. Write down 10 Ideas a Day on Any Subject

Legendary entrepreneur James Altucher was the first to coin this idea of becoming an ‘Idea Machine’ and the effectiveness of writing down just 10 ideas a day. Since it went viral, thousands of people have adopted it as a life goal of their own.

The concept is simple: by writing down 10 ideas, you flex your ‘creativity muscle‘ that rarely gets pushed hard. Your theme for the day might be ideas for a book to write or ideas for becoming more productive or even something as silly as ideas about what you would spend $1 million on.

The theme doesn’t matter. The thinking does. It is usually around point five or six when people have to start thinking. Don’t give up! This is where the goal becomes most valuable and in no time, you will be an Idea Machine.

12. Pursue Being a Beginner Again

As you progress through life, your late teens and early twenties is far behind you. You have a better sense of who you are, what you like doing, what gives you joy, what irritates you and how to interact with other humans (usually!).

All of this might be convenient but it involves a slow slide into your comfort zone. And as you probably know by now, not much exciting life is lived in the comfort zone.

Ask yourself when was the last you time you were a beginner at something? The last time you knew that you looked a fool because you didn’t know what you were doing?

The answer should be often if you want to keep growing your character, personality and fortitude when it comes to dealing with new and uncertain situations. So get out there and try a new sport or a new hobby!

Relationship Goals:

13. Learn How to Say Sorry

Alongside ‘I love you’ and ‘Irish wristwatch’, saying sorry is one of the most difficult phrases to say in the English language.

There is something about an apology that can really interfere with your ego and lead the blame to be passed on to something or someone else on a frequent basis. Because of this, not many people apologise in their lives at all.

Therefore it might seem like a bit of a trivial goal to have in life but if you can learn the art, you will be one of the few people out there who knows how to say sorry. That is something worth striving for.

14. Call or Text Someone You Haven’t Spoken to in Months

As life ticks on, you tend to drift away from certain people that you were once close to. Even with your best friends or family that you still love deeply, it might be the case that you now only see them once a year as life starts to ‘get in the way’.

Incredibly, you are fortunate enough to live in an era where distance has shrunk because of technology. Those friends and family that you don’t get to see face-to-face anymore are just a text or phone call away.

It is an extremely easy and fulfilling goal to satisfy and one that you can complete today. Pick up the phone and have a quick chat with someone you haven’t spoken to in months. You will be glad you did.

15. Consciously Maintain a Work Life Balance

When you are at your productive best and the work piles up just as quickly as you complete it, it can become easy to get lost and think that work = life.

The two are not equated though. Work is just one facet of life; usually the activity that you complete to make money or if you are fortunate, something that you enjoy too.

However, there is far more to life than just work. Your relationships, friendships, hobbies, health and many other aspects are just as important and often become neglected in the face of work.

It is a noble goal in life to limit your work and to take time for all the other essential parts of life as well. Nobody regrets working too little on their deathbed, only too much.

Social Goals:

16. Communicate Your Ideas with the World

It is surprisingly common for an infinitely complex human like yourself to put themselves down and not feel like they are worthy enough to share their opinion.

Whether you realize it or not yet, the world needs you. It needs your ideas, your enthusiasm and your unique perspective on the human experience. Whilst many people think they are doing good by keeping thoughts to themselves, they are actually doing a disservice to everyone who would benefit from their voice.

Your communication goal doesn’t have to be giving a TED Talk. A great goal is to simply be more expressive about your thoughts and opinions and to be receptive to those of other people.

Starting your own blog or podcast is one of the best ways to do this, but simply telling your ideas to a friend is a fantastic start.

17. Fix Things That Are Broken

If you pursue this goal, even passively, it will lead to not just a much better life for yourself but also for the world around you.

The beauty of this goal is that it can be as small-scale or as large-scale as you want it to be. Don’t like the way the door handle to your bathroom is wonky? Fix it. Don’t like the fact that there is no app for that problem yet? Build it.

Entropy may be the natural state of the observable universe, but we can keep things in order for just a little longer.

18. Volunteer for a Charity

This is one of those life goals that seems to be on everyone’s bucket list but not everyone gets round to doing. If you can manage to complete it, the results can be life-changing.

Volunteering for a charity gives you an impression of what life is like for those in less favourable circumstances than your own. It provides a unique perspective about all of the blessings in your own life and is usually followed by a profound sense of gratitude.

Of course, not all of the reasons to volunteer for a charity are self-focused. Many people are left benefitted by your charitable actions and like with the ‘fix things’ goal, the world is left in a slightly better way after you have done your part.

Financial Goals:

19. Aim to Live Debt-Free

Debt is something that will hang over your head for the rest of your life if you let it and it can definitely be a hindrance to achieving the other goals on this list if there is too much of it.

Debt is almost inevitable in life. Whether you are paying off a mortgage, have monthly car payments or use a credit card. However, living debt-free has to be the goal and the associated peace of mind to go with it.

There are a number of ways to manage it, but perhaps the best way is to save a little more money when you get paid. Not only is it easier to save when you get paid compared to when you are running out of money, these small savings eventually accumulate to big ones that allow you to pay off big chunks of debt.

This is one of the best goals in life.

20. Stop Trading Time for Money

Most conventional jobs do just that. The one resource that you can never get more of – time – is traded away for a resource that you can always get more of and beyond a basic level of income, is only used to by wants not needs.

To stop trading time for money is to enjoy freedom. It is to take advantage of the universe’s scarcest resource and live life on your own terms.

There are a couple of ways to achieve this goal; either find a job that you enjoy and you get paid for or build new income streams like a side-hustle that helps you to buy back your time.

Final Thoughts

With all of this information on the various goals that you can pursue in your life for greater personal success, I hope that you feel a little less stuck and a little more inspired than when you first stumbled across this article.

As mentioned in the introduction, these goals are something that you can work at basically forever. Because the path is so long, don’t be disheartened by all of the bumps and jerks that will inevitably arrive in the journey. This is just part of the process.

You don’t have to wait to begin any of these goals. You can begin working on any and all of them today.

So what are you waiting for? Your personal success awaits!