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The Bible Says; ‘Woman Be Submissive To Your husband’ – Governor Umahi’s Aide Writes As She Resigns To Save Her Marriage

The Special Adviser to Ebonyi State Governor David Umahi, on Business Development, Deaconess Emerald Udeakaji, has tendered her resignation.

In the letter dated December 30, 2020 and addressed to the Governor, Mrs Udeakaji said she has given 100% loyalty to the Government but her family is tearing apart. She is therefore resigning to save her marriage.

“I sincerely want to thank His Excellency and Her Excellency and the entire Umahi family for the opportunity they gave to me to serve in this government,” the letter reads.

“Thank you so much Sir and Ma. My resignation is borne out of family issues. I have given my 100% loyalty to this government but my family is tearing apart,”

“The Bible says, ‘Woman be submissive to your husband’. The Bible also said that ‘two shall become one’. As a Deaconess as I am, I have to go back and study my scripture very well. In obedience to these scriptures, I decided to resign and save my marriage.

“I sincerely and most humbly appreciate all that you have done for me. I am not an ungrateful person and can never be. Please bear with me for my children’s sake. I wish you well in your future political endeavour. Thank you, Your Excellency and remain blessed”

"The Bible says ?woman be submissive to your husband?" - Governor Umahi

 

Source: Lindaikeji
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5 Ways to Develop Mutual Respect in a Relationship

Relationships are, well, complicated to say the least. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am by no means saying they are not worth their challenges merely that there are so very many challenges that often times love feels, quite simply, overwhelming.

However, creating and fostering a relationship built on mutual respect and trust seriously helps to make love the fun adventure that it should be.

Before we even dive into the how to develop respect in a relationship, I want to make sure that we get very clear on the definition.

Respect is one of those crazy English language words that can be used as both a noun and a verb. Because English is just plain confusing. However, both definitions essentially focus on having admiration and showing regard for the abilities, thoughts, feelings, qualities, traditions and rights of others. With respect to relationships, respect means honoring your partner for who they are and also receiving the same from them.

Below are some easy ways to reframe how you think about respect and help it to grow within your relationship.

1. Define What Love Means to You.

You cannot expect to grow a relationship based on mutual respect if you don’t understand the way your partner views love and relationships in general.

Sit down with your partner and define what love means to both of you. It provides you not only with a deeper understanding of what your partner needs and desires, but also gives you both clear and defined things to work on and for in the relationship.

However, it is not just enough to define what love means to the both of you, you both must also act on what you discuss in order to continue to foster a deeper and more meaningful connection. This means asking any questions that come up and continuing to check in on your definitions of love on a regular basis as they very well may change and grow as you do.

2. Communicate About Your Actual Feelings

One of the biggest factors in a relationship created and based out of mutual respect is communication. Specifically, communicating your thoughts and feelings in a way that is both effective for your mental well being AND of your partner’s well being as well.

I am by absolutely no means saying to stuff your feelings down if you think what you are experiencing may hurt your partners feelings but, there is a way to communicate your needs and thoughts without making your partner feel alienated if they don’t necessarily agree.

When you first start truly communicating with your partner about your genuine feelings, it is important that you are not triggered when beginning the conversation. You cannot expect to have a productive conversation where both people are respected if you go in guns blazing. Instead, talk about your feelings in a way that doesn’t involve the story of how they came about.

For example, let’s say your husband keeps interrupting you in front of other people. Instead of talking to him about it by saying:

‘Yesterday at dinner when I was talking about the day I had at work you totally talked over me and completely didn’t care what I was saying;’

Say:

‘Lately there have been a few times when you have spoken over me and it makes me feel like you don’t value what I have to say. It is important to me to feel valued.’

Do you see the difference?

As opposed to getting involved with the story which will only cause your partner to want to jump to their own defense, as defending yourself is the natural human response. If you communicate with the focus on your feelings and needs, it creates a conversation based on deeper understanding not on surface level occurrences. It also provides your partner with sincere information on how to help you going forward.

3. Don’t Let Fear Dictate How You Treat Your Partner.

Even if you have not been in an abusive relationship, we all have past relationship trauma. Whether it is from being cheated on, a bad divorce, or even abandonment issues from childhood, we all come to love with our own set of fears about what love may entail. And, because most of us are not taught how to handle our emotions from an early age, we often let those fears come out all over our partners.

A relationship based on mutual trust cannot be built if both partners don’t acknowledge their fears and separate them from the current situation. Not only that, but if you notice yourself wanting to react to your partner from a place of fear, it is important that you share that with them. This will help you not only keep your fear from poisoning your love, but also help to grow your understanding of each other and deepen your connection.

In order to continue to grow the respect between you and your partner, it is important that you both work on not only acknowledgement of your fears but conquering them. Whether this be done through your own methods, therapy or coach, don’t be afraid to learn how to not be afraid.

4. Establish and Enforce Boundaries

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. They are a hot topic of the relationship world and, in all honesty, they are incredibly important. If you are anything like me, you see all the pretty quotes about how important they are but can’t seem to nail down exactly how to establish them, let alone ensure that they are followed.

It is important to note that having and enforcing boundaries starts with you. You cannot expect your partner to respect you and your boundaries if you don’t enforce them with yourself. So, before ever communicating your boundaries to your partner, look at yourself. Where are you letting yourself down? Where are you not honoring your feelings and needs? Where are you pushing your wants aside in order to please others?

Answering these questions is the first step in figuring out what your boundaries are and where they lay. After you figure out the answers, communicate the answers to your partner by asking them to help support you by honoring the boundaries you are holding for yourself.

As I mentioned before, communicating your needs and wants is based on you, NOT on accusing them. You cannot expect your partner to live up to expectations that you don’t hold yourself to.

The next step is to actually enforce your boundaries with yourself and therefore, with your partner. Showing yourself that respect will help to show your partner how you need to be respected. And also, be sure you support and honor their boundaries as well.

And finally…

5. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions

No one is perfect at “relationshiping”. Everyone makes mistakes and miscommunication is inevitable. So never be afraid to ask your partner what they need or how you can help support them through something. You should never be expected to automatically know how to respect and honor your partner, and vise versa; it is something that you learn together.

And remember the act of creating mutual respect is a bonding and growing experience. Ask questions to make sure that both of you are on the same page and, make sure that you communicate if for some reason that ever feels like not the case.

Final Thoughts

The beauty of relationships is that you are not doing them alone, so don’t be afraid to rely on each other to help the love move forward. And, if you need help laying the ground work of respect, don’t be afraid to reach out and get it.

Remember, you both are in a relationship because you genuinely care about the other person, honoring your love for each other is your first step in creating the respectful relationship of your dreams.

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20 Indoor Ideas You Can Try on Your Next Date Night

Date nights are special as they’re an opportunity to show appreciation and take a break from things. They’re something beyond ordering take-out or going to a nice place and having dinner. They’re bold and creative and can rekindle passion for one another. But there is only so much that a couple can do for date nights before they get repetitive and that magic starts to disappear. On top of the restrictions of possibly kids, a busy schedule, and this pandemic amongst other things, you’ve probably exhausted every idea that you can think of.

In light of that, I wanted to give you some date night ideas that you might not have tried. These are perfect to try at home making it optimal for during the pandemic, but also after it too. Beyond that, these can save you a tonne of money and encourages you to be more resourceful with what you have.

1. Movie Night With A Twist

Debating over what to watch is especially tough these days, however there are some ways that you can make this more exciting. Some other ideas are closing your eyes and watch whatever you land on or flipping a coin to decide what to watch.

2. Cooking Night

Whether one or both of you have some cooking skills, there are all kinds of dishes that the two of you can make. You can stick to making favourite dishes, or maybe you can tackle a larger recipe together.

There are a tonne of recipes online to try out that provides fast and healthy recipes.

3. Game Night

Board games are another good at home date night ideas to try out. It’s also fairly inexpensive as well.

4. Lounge Room Picnic

Picnics are usually designed to be outdoors, however there is something nice about having them indoors as well. Pandemic aside, having a picnic indoors is nice as it removes having the elements involved. Not to mention you don’t have to avoid the bugs while indoors.

5. Massages

This is another cheap and intimate experience as all you’ll need is a towel and some oil. Having your significant other give you a massage is far less awkward as well since you’re not paying a stranger to rub down your body.

6. Video Game Marathon

There are a plethora of video games these days that allow co-operative versions. Some games will make you compete against one another or the two of you work as a team. Nonetheless video games are a fun way to bond with another. There is bound to be a game out there that you and your partner will enjoy.

7. Rom-Coms Marathon

While these movies are cheesy and so predictable, there is something about them that is entertaining to watch. Put together a nice little playlist and to create a nice romantic atmosphere at home to set the mood. From there you can order food, open a bottle of wine and cuddle up. If you’re not the type to get drunk, get a non-alcoholic wine that still suits the mood.

8. Have A Bake Off

Provided the kitchen is big enough, you can recreate a mock “Cupcake Wars” situation and try to impress one another with various baked goods. Even if by the end the bake off doesn’t make Pinterest-worthy posts, it’s still fun to do. Plus you have food you get to enjoy. You can pull some recipes from the internet.

9. Or A Paint-Off

Or instead of baking you can look at painting. You don’t need to have a large amount of art supplies using things like markers, crayons, watercolors, or even random pens that you’ve got lying around. In terms of competition, have each other draw the same still-life scene – this could be a fruit bowl or maybe a simple landscape.

You could even try drawing one another’s portraits.

10. Tackle A DIY Project

Whether the two of you are in an apartment or a home there is always some kind of project that could be done. Doesn’t always have to be something as big as renovating a part of a home or painting, but tackling it as a team makes it far more tolerable.

11. Clean Out The Closets

Organizing closets can be a struggle as we all have a tendency to hoard things over time. With not much else happening lately, one good project to do together is to go through one another closets and start cleaning things out, setting aside stuff you don’t need anymore while keeping some other things.

12. Make a Bucket List For the Next 10 Years

One great at home date night idea I love is making a bucket list for the next 10 years. For couples that have been together for even a short period of time or longer, outlining each other’s goals and desires is key to deepening the relationship. If you’re serious about the relationship, sharing each other’s goals is fantastic and what better way to share it than to have a bucket list for the next decade? Write them down and have a spot to remind you of them.

13. Play Some Drinking Games

While you won’t be able to really party like you used to, there are some pretty fun drinking games out there. Whether you want alcohol involved or not you can always play beer pong or flip cup on the kitchen table.

If you’ve got kids – or want no alcohol involved – you can keep it tame by using fruit juice or water.

14. Read Books Together

Whether it’s one person reading to the other or both of you reading in silence, there is something nice about curling up together and reading together in some fashion. While everyone has their own sense of taste in books, there are some books that are delightful to co-read.

15. Stargaze

While this is technically an outdoor activity you may still have an opportunity in various ways. If you own a home, you can easily head out into the yard and do this. For apartments, there are balconies or going to a non-public area if possible. That aside, stargazing is always a delight and it’s just fun to be in each other’s company and look up at the stars.

16. Work On a Difficult And Large Puzzle

There are so many puzzles out there for adults to work on and complete. The idea with this date night is to find a puzzle that’s complex enough and will take a while to complete.

17. Have a Deep Conversation

Deep conversations can begin in all kinds of ways. One easy way to get into them is to play sleepover games like Never Have I Ever and Truth or Dare. The answers that can stem from these can lead to some organic and deep conversations, pulling you away from the typical conversations you’re used to having.

18. Write Each other Love Letters

Sitting down with some paper and pens and writing out the various things you appreciate about one another. Even though love is complicated, there are usually several reasons for why you love one another and expressing that creates a stronger sense of intimacy.

19. Plan Out Future Dates

This pandemic – while long – isn’t going to last forever. Soon enough things will open back up and we’ll all be able to get out of the house and enjoy date night in other ways. In light of this, why not make some plans right now so you can prepare in advance?

20. DIY a Photo Booth

While they are a relic of the past, you can still create your very own photo booth. All you have to do is squeeze together in a tight space and snap away. You could use your phone to take burst shots.

Bottom Line

If you have such a busy life that you can’t do too many outdoor activities together, having a chance to do some fun stuff inside is always nice. I strongly encourage you to bookmark this article and refer back to it if you need a refresher.

Better yet, try some of these this weekend!

 

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4 Steps to Take When Your Ex Refuses to Pay Child Support

For co-parents, the issue of money is often a difficult one to discuss. However, what’s even more difficult is when one parent completely neglects the financial needs of their child leaving the burden on the other parent.

Typically this leads to court and child support orders. The court decides how expenses should be split and how much the non-custodial parent should pay each month to help support their child.

But as many of us have found out, just because you have a child support order doesn’t mean the other parent will pay.

Unpaid child support isn’t something only men do, but it is far more common for men as mothers typically receive primary custody after a divorce or breakup.

Based on a survey in 2011, only 61% of men paid their child support. But the study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family explains that fathers who lack money to make payments try to support their children in other manners.

This may be true for some… But for many others, they shamelessly refuse to pay child support or even play any active role in their child’s life.

In that case, you have to find the proper way to approach them and make sure that they fulfill their responsibilities. As wrong as it is that you have to tell another adult to take care of their responsibilities that’s what the situation has boiled down to.

If you, unfortunately, have this problem with your ex, here are the steps you can take to get them to financially support their child.

1. Try talking to your ex.

This is not an easy thing to do. Especially when your ex is refusing to help you support your child.

This is even more complicated if there was emotional or physical abuse in the relationship.

With these things in mind, having a conversation with your ex about their responsibilities will be without a doubt emotionally strenuous, but it’s the first step you should take.

Let’s face it, court proceedings and lawyers cost money, so trying to talk it out before taking serious legal action is the cheapest route for the both of you.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to your ex for any reason, go with a friend or a family member to give you support. Listen to them and try not to create a hostile environment with accusations and finger pointing before you hear the reasons they aren’t respecting their duties.

They may have lost their job or are facing other financial difficulties.

This doesn’t give them a free pass, but it’s more understandable than “I’m just not going to help financially support our child.”

Having a conversation with them may help you find an agreeable solution for both of you, like paying you in installments or when he becomes financially able to. Whatever the case may be, you will know what your next step is after having a conversation.

2. Have a backup plan to cover the missing child support.

A back up plan  is always a good thing to have in place for anything.

However, when it comes to unpaid child support, it may not be that easy for some.

In most cases, you will have to find an additional job or cut your expenses.

As unfair as this is this is the circumstance for millions of women.

The best way to approach this is by thinking about this possible issue beforehand.

During the divorce or breakup, you should see what are your other options to finance your life if your ex doesn’t pay child support. Also, talk to them even then and try to find some sort of compromise to make it easier.

3. Consult a lawyer about possible options.

Legal consulting isn’t something you should neglect in these situations. Whatever you decide in the end – going to court or not – you should always know your legal rights.

Additionally, going to court will cost you, and you have to know what to expect financially if you choose this option.

Consulting an attorney will give you an idea of what to do next.

If your ex is unemployed or is employed illegally, then you have to know would taking him to court be a good idea for both of you. It all comes down to their willingness to cooperate and make an arrangement with you.

But if they’re uninterested, then, unfortunately, the court may be your only option no matter how hard it seems.

4. Contact your local child support agency.

Government agencies for child support are present in every state and even country. Their job is to collect the money for you if you don’t have the means to finance the case.

Fortunately, they typically do this service for free and apply techniques that may not be available to independent attorneys.

The only problem you may encounter is that they are usually busy and swamped with cases.

So, it may take them a long time to finally address your case, and that means you’ll have to find ways to survive until then.

Before going to them, try to come to an agreement with your ex-partner and see what other options for financial aid you have.

Court proceeding and decision

If you do go to court, know that the decision can affect your ex in several ways.

The payments may be enforced with a court order, they can be held in contempt of court and even serve jail time. You will also need a family law attorney for this in order to plead your case before the judge.

When the proceedings start, you will have to present the evidence to the court of unpaid child support. This means you should collect all the evidence you have to prove your ex is guilty.

The judge can order your ex to pay for your court and attorney expenses, as well.

After this, your ex may start making the payments regularly and come to their senses.

Conclusion

Child support is the responsibility of both parents.

A child shouldn’t go without because one or the other parent neglects them emotionally or financially.

Financial support is one of the things your ex should do without even being asked, along with regular visitation and care for the wellbeing of their children.

You have options and possibilities to resolve this problem with minimum emotional impact on your children and you.

Still, if those don’t work, consider taking serious legal actions and remedies to avoid getting yourself into a hard financial situation.

Source: Blackloveadvice

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3 Ways To Handle Jealous Friends

Jealousy can spell the end of even the strongest of friendships and if you do not believe that there is an issue, you run the risk of losing that friendship. Of course, it’s not easy to acknowledge and tackle a jealous friend but if you value the friendship and want to be able to move past the situation, you simply have no choice.

Jealousy in friendship takes many forms, some subtle, others not so much. Some friends might accuse you of being too proud and rubbing your triumphs in their faces.

Unfortunately, there are people out there, friends or not, who just want to bring you down because your life appears better than theirs. Whether its through snide comments or being dismissive of your accomplishments, there’s always that one person who, not matter the situation, refuses to be happy for us.

People say that you should be flattered when people get jealous of you, but within a friendship, jealousy is like a rot that simply refuses to heal and can completely ruin the bond you share. So, what are the solutions and what can be done to improve the situation if you know that a good friend has something against you?

You might have gotten a fancy new job, lost weight in all the right places, gotten your writing published, or even gotten engaged. Naturally, your first instinct is to share the good news with the people you care about the most, your family and friends. But what do you do when their .s are not what you expected?

This will probably leave you feeling hurt and confused as to why they are acting this way but understand that the problem is not with you, it’s with them. If you want to salvage the friendship then you need to take into account these next 3 steps.

1. Dont ignore it

If you notice a friend acting jealously towards you, do not ignore the situation. Ignoring the situation will only make things worse and it will worsen like a cut that has not been treated and will end up infecting every part of the friendship.

If you leave it and let the unhappiness and jealousy grow, you will only make the division between the two of you larger until it is simply beyond repair.

You may also start feeling resentful towards that person and unconsciously root for them to fail, just like they are doing to you. Jealousy begets jealousy and you may find yourself mirroring their actions ad turning into somebody that you don’t like.

Depending on how close you are to this friend, you need to decide if you should just let it go or confront them. If you want to salvage the relationship or cut it off officially, it is advisable that you confront them, make them aware that you have noticed their behavior and do not want it to continue.

Jealousy can spell the end of even the strongest of friendships and if you do not believe that there is an issue, you run the risk of losing that friendship. Of course, it’s not easy to acknowledge and tackle a jealous friend but if you value the friendship and want to be able to move past the situation, you simply have no choice.

Jealousy in friendship takes many forms, some subtle, others not so much. Some friends might accuse you of being too proud and rubbing your triumphs in their faces.

Unfortunately, there are people out there, friends or not, who just want to bring you down because your life appears better than theirs. Whether its through snide comments or being dismissive of your accomplishments, there’s always that one person who, not matter the situation, refuses to be happy for us.

People say that you should be flattered when people get jealous of you, but within a friendship, jealousy is like a rot that simply refuses to heal and can completely ruin the bond you share. So, what are the solutions and what can be done to improve the situation if you know that a good friend has something against you?

You might have gotten a fancy new job, lost weight in all the right places, gotten your writing published, or even gotten engaged. Naturally, your first instinct is to share the good news with the people you care about the most, your family and friends. But what do you do when their .s are not what you expected?

This will probably leave you feeling hurt and confused as to why they are acting this way but understand that the problem is not with you, it’s with them. If you want to salvage the friendship then you need to take into account these next 3 steps.

1. Dont ignore it

If you notice a friend acting jealously towards you, do not ignore the situation [Credit: Creative Market]

Ignoring the situation will only make things worse and it will worsen like a cut that has not been treated and will end up infecting every part of the friendship. If you leave it and let the unhappiness and jealousy grow, you will only make the division between the two of you larger until it is simply beyond repair.

You may also start feeling resentful towards that person and unconsciously root for them to fail, just like they are doing to you. Jealousy begets jealousy and you may find yourself mirroring their actions ad turning into somebody that you don’t like.

Depending on how close you are to this friend, you need to decide if you should just let it go or confront them. If you want to salvage the relationship or cut it off officially, it is advisable that you confront them, make them aware that you have noticed their behaviour and do not want it to continue.

2. Communicate honestly yet gently

Learn to communicate honestly yet gently with your friend about how you have been feeling. Honest communication is the key to fixing most things including unhealthy behaviour among friends. Take the time to speak to your friend about how they’re acting and how their behaviour is affecting you.

Be honest and gentle and remember that they are holding onto resentment and the only way for them to let it go is for you acknowledge it, understand it and try to help them let go of it.

Their initial instinct will be to deny it altogether but do not let that sway you. Don’t start the conversation with something as blunt as, “I know you are jealous of me”. Instead, open up with, “I have noticed that things have changed between us and that you seem distant.”

Make it clear that something has to change in order for your friendship to move forward positively and let them know how much you value the friendship and want it to work.

3. Try and understand why

Once you have confronted your friend, try and understand why they feel the way they do towards you. Another important thing that you have to do is to understand ‘why’ your friend is acting the way they are. Why are they jealous of you? Why does this person feel this way now? Why does this person always have to turn things into a competition? Why does this person feel the need to watch you fail?

Most of the time, people have their own reasons for feeling jealous.Often, the person sees something in you or another person that makes them feel that they aren’t as good. It could be real or imagined, but the feelings of inadequacy are projected through negative thoughts or actions. Jealousy emerges as a . or solution to those feelings of inadequacy. Instead of dealing with these underlying feelings of inadequacy, the jealousy turns into little digs and insults when they are together.

Understanding the why can lead you to explore the reasons behind those feelings and solve them, together.

Source: Ngere Davies

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Stop Taking Bread And Tea’ –Dr. Olufunmilayo Advices Pregnant Women

A Nigerian doctor identified as Dr Olufunmilayo on twitter has advised pregnant women to stop taking bread and tea. The Doctor whose aim is to help save a life, gave more than one reasons why pregnant women should stay away from bread and tea.

According to the Doctor, taking too much bread, tea & Coffee prevents a pregnant woman’s body from absorbing Iron.

'Stop taking bread and tea' - Nigerian Doctor advices pregnant women, gives reasons

The tweet reads “If you are pregnant Taking a lot of bread and tea may be harmful for you Too much bread and tea together makes it hard for your body to absorb iron. Iron deficiency in pregnancy can cause: •Tiny baby •Premature delivery •Baby dead before/after delivery. RT pls. Save a life”

“Pregnancy on its own causes low blood levels for many women. Some of these women are placed on iron tablets to boost their blood levels. Now tea/coffee are known to make it difficult for the body to absorb iron. And when taken with something like bread; the impact is worse. The advice is usually if you can: •Cut down on too much bread and tea together especially if pregnant and you have low iron or you are on iron tablets. •If you must have tea/coffee/bread, give yourself some hours before/after taking iron tablets. I hope this helps. Thank you.

Source: withinnigeria.com

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Nigerian Born Ololade Adetifa Bags First Class In Drilling Engineering From UK University

Ololade Adetifa, a Nigerian lady, has bagged a First Class master’s degree in Drilling and Well Engineering from prestigious Robert Gordon University in Aberdeen, Scotland, UK.

Adetifa, who is a graduate of electrical electronics engineering at Afe Babalola University Ado Ekiti, before moving on to achieving a meritorious first class (Distinction) in a male-dominated field during her master’s program abroad made the announcement in a recent post she shared via her profile on popular social networking site, LinkedIn.

She posted on LinkedIn, “I have gone through several LinkedIn profiles in the last few days since the year started and felt so much emotions; from overwhelming pride for some individuals to feeling underachieved and needing to pinch myself out of it.

“I went through the profiles in the hope of revamping my personal summary as I have been told I do not sell myself as well as I should and I have come to the conclusion that this year, I will sell myself better, give myself a pat for minor and major achievements, motivate others, mentor others and get a mentor in my field.

“So first off; I am Ololade Adetifa, a graduate of Electrical Electronics Engineering from the prestigious Afe Babalola University Ado Ekiti and now, i have a Master’s degree in Drilling and Well Engineering from the reputable Robert Gordon University Aberdeen.
Edit: I guess I should also add that I made a Distinction to the Glory of God.”

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Joe Biden Appoints Nigerian Funmi Badejo Into His Cabinet As White House Counsel

Joe Biden, the President-elect of the United States of America, has appointed Nigerian-born Funmi Olorunnipa Badejo into his cabinet.

The President-elect made announcement when he named additional 20 members of the office of the White House counsel.

Badejo is a lawyer and an alumna of Berkeley Law College in the US, and served as ethics counsel in the same office toward the end of the President Barrack Obama administration.

She, alongside other lawyers of the Office of White House Counsel will be advising the President, the executive office of the president, and the White House staff on legal issues pertaining to the president and the White House.

A statement on the Biden-Harris transition website said that Badejo was general counsel of the house select subcommittee on the coronavirus crisis which was chaired by James Clyburn, House Majority Whip.

“Her prior government service includes serving as Counsel for policy to the Assistant Attorney-General in the Civil Division of the U.S. Department of Justice, Ethics Counsel at the White House Counsel’s Office and Attorney Advisor at the Administrative Conference of the United States during the Obama-Biden administration,” the statement read.

Biden will become the 46th President of the United States after his swearing-in slated for January 20, 2021

He defeated the incumbent President Donald Trump in the November 3 presidential election after scoring over 300 electoral college votes

Although Trump rejected the election result claiming electoral fraud, he could not provide proofs and has lost numerous cases he filed in court.

President Trump was however, impeached on Wednesday for the second time having been accused of inciting his supporters to launch a deadly attack on US Capitol In a final push to stop the confirmation of Biden as the winner of the election by the Congress.

Biden had earlier In December 2020 appointed a Nigerian-American, Osaremen Okolo, a Ni, a member of Biden’s COVID-19 response team.

Before then, Nigerian-born Adewale Adeyemo has been appointed as deputy secretary of the treasury department.

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9 Reasons Why You’re Demotivated and How to Overcome It

Being demotivated is arguably one of the worst feelings in the world. You feel as though you have no direction and, despite the fact that you are not getting any enjoyment out of getting nowhere, you feel no urgency or drive to make the effort to change your situation.

While this may seem like a bleak situation, fret not!

Motivation is like money; even if you have none of it at the moment, you can always get some more!

If you’re reading this, you have most likely run into a wall of demotivation. If this is the case, let’s dive right into the reasons why you may be experiencing this and what actions you can take to get out of it.

1. You Are Working Without Purpose

The biggest reason why someone may be feeling demotivated is that they are living their lives without goals or intent.

If you’re living a life without purpose, you are bound to go through the motions without any sense of direction, feeling as though you are doing things simply for the sake of doing things rather than to work towards something that you want.

Sounds familiar?

Fortunately enough, demotivation that is caused by a lack of life purpose can be easily fixed. All you have to do to work on this demotivational factor is to figure out what it is you are looking for out of life and to establish specific, bite-sized, achievable goals that can help you to get there.

With a life plan you are passionate about, you’ll feel motivated in all aspects of your life quite quickly once more

2. Your Lack of Motivation Stems From Fear

When we fear progress, we refuse to move forward, becoming stuck at a certain point in our lives that allows us to only achieve so much on a daily basis. Whether this is an obstacle you have created for yourself in your professional life or your personal life, it becomes more difficult to break free of this cycle as each day passes. This, in turn, manifests into discontent and demotivation.

So, what can you do about this fear when it affects your motivation levels?

The first thing to do is to take note of the fact that you are putting off progress because you are afraid of a certain outcome.

Next, it is important to ask yourself what you are afraid of hearing in relation to your situation and whether or not that fear should really be stopping you from moving forward.

Finally, you need to start chipping away at that fear step-by-step until you face it head on and conquer it.

True that life can be scary at moments. But is there anything scarier than missing out on opportunities and not living your life to the fullest?

3. You’re Doing Things for the Wrong Reasons

Our body knows how to react in any given situation and the lack of motivation that has you down may be a direct result of what you are doing.

Ask yourself, is everything I do done for the right reasons?

Say, for example, that you are currently working a job that pays well but isn’t truly fulfilling. You know you are working for the financial stability and this keeps you there but it is not truly what you want to do. This slowly wears you down and, because the position provides no purpose for you, you don’t have any real motivation to continue on with the position.

This concept is applicable to all areas of life and, if you feel unmotivated, it is quite possible that you are doing things for the wrong reasons instead of doing things that fulfill you.

4. You Take on Too Much and Are Overwhelmed

It’s great to be ambitious and it is also perfectly fine to take on quite a bit of work and achieve as much as you can during the day. However, when you take on too much, you stretch yourself too thin and become burnt out rather quickly.

If you’re too overwhelmed by the many projects you are pursuing, you are less likely to want to do them. If you fall behind, you lose further motivation and you wind up not enjoying the tasks you are supposed to accomplish and lose the drive to see them through.

The key to staying motivated with anything is to take as much on as possible without making it unenjoyable. Being able to get through your day without feeling stressed and pressed for time goes a long way in helping you to keep your purpose and motivation intact.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, it is important that you learn better time-management skills and more about your limitations in order to craft a better schedule for yourself immediately.

5. You May Be Dealing with Symptoms of a Mental Illness

Although mental illness symptoms are easy to spot for some, others can deal with a mental illness without ever suspecting it.

For example, there are plenty of professionals who deal with dysthymia for years, which is a low-grade form of depression that leaves the individual able to engage in their day but still provides the classic symptoms of fatigue and lack of motivation.

You may also be dealing with full-blown depression, which can result in hopelessness and a lack of enjoyment in daily activities. It also carries more severe consequences if left untreated.

If you believe that you may be dealing with a mental illness, it is important that you seek for mental health assistance immediately to help reduce the severity of the symptoms and learn how to properly cope with the condition.

You are worth it!

6. Your Goals Are Too Big

Having goals is necessary to leading a purposeful life. However, it may be your goals that are actually at the source of your current motivation problem.

Do your goals look like this:

I want to launch my website and fill it with 100 blogs by the end of this year.

Rather than this:

I want to launch my website by the end of next month and write one blog each week for my new website.

The difference between the two goals is that one is far too large and vague while the other one is achievable and specific.

Think about your to-do list. Is it filled with endless tasks that seem impossible to tackle or is it filled with small steps that foster achievement and excite you when you finish them?

If your goals are too large and you are expecting too much from yourself, you are not going to motivated to chip away at that goal on a consistent basis. Smaller steps are much easier to accomplish and will keep you motivated to achieve the larger end goal.

Break it down and keep it simple!

7. You’re Engaging in Self-Sabotage

Perhaps you feel that you don’t have the skills to see it through. Perhaps you think others don’t think you’re capable of achievement and are purposely sabotaging yourself and prevent yourself from moving forward.

In either case, your lack of motivation may be due to your desire to stunt your growth rather than to unleash and prove your greatness to the world.

Why do you feel that you aren’t capable of what it is you seek to do? If it is the other way around, why do you feel as though others don’t think that you are capable?

Sit down and write down a list of your accomplishments, skills, and strengths. Once you see it written down, you can easily begin to see your own value.

Whether it is to prove someone wrong, to prove yourself right, or to simply shine, breaking through self-doubt or self-sabotage can help you to regain your motivation that is lost under these circumstances.

8. You Believe You Should Have Accomplished More by Now

With the exception of a rare few, a lot of people put pressure on themselves and put themselves down because they think that they haven’t accomplished enough out of all of the time that they have been alive.

It can be easy to get into this state of mind. But the past is the past and the only thing you are in control of is the future.

When you allow yourself to indulge in the past, you fall into the habit of giving up and going through the motions. This habit strips you of motivation and prevents you from making any progress whatsoever.

As the old saying goes,

“Rome wasn’t built in a day”.

You can’t expect to meet your life goals instantly. Instead, work hard each day and measure your progress. Each step forward is a step in the right direction.

Don’t give up!

9. You Have a Habit of NOT Doing Anything

It can be hard to hear but some people are just one of those individuals who do absolutely nothing on a daily basis.

They have plenty of tasks and potential but they choose to not do it simply because they don’t feel like it. And when they finally sit down to take responsibility and move forward, they wonder why they feel demotivated and have such difficulty getting things done.

The truth is that getting your life together is hard. You are going to have to do a lot of things you don’t enjoy to get back on track and live the life you want.

Sit down, show up, and do what you must in order to get to where you want.

BONUS: You’re Settling and Refusing to Push Your Limits

On the opposite spectrum of overwhelm is underwhelm. Underwhelm begins to set in when you are settling on accomplishing less rather than pushing your limits and doing what you know you are perfectly capable of handling.

This choice to not do what you are able to and push your limits can cause a lack of motivation as you are consciously deciding to settle for less and stay in mediocrity rather than moving forward and accomplishing more.

It’s something that we all do when we start to feel a little lazy or tired but it is up to you to hold yourself accountable.

If you can make it happen, it is up to you to make sure that you follow through.

Final thoughts

Even the best of us become demotivated but it is necessary that we get back our drive to push forward and live our best lives.

Cheers to finding strength to smash those goals.

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5 Things That Hold You Back In Life And How To Get Rid Of Them

Habits are the things that we are used to doing on a daily or a weekly basis — or, basically, whenever there is an action that repeats itself in regular intervals.

After living a quarter of your life or so, you may think that what you’ve developed in your childhood is what will define you for the rest of your life. Even if some of the habits and personal traits that we’ve developed are holding us back, our mind often chooses to ignore the damages and to resist any kind of change that might usurp the status quo.

After all, the fast-paced life, having (or not having) children, and a regular job can have you wanting for a routine that will define you and help you cope with everything. However, if the routine is damaging to your mental health and your self-improvement, maybe it’s time for a change.

The routines that we develop and our immediate surroundings (people we see every day or on a regular basis) can sometimes even hold us back and prevent us from fulfilling our life goals. It’s imperative to recognize these poor influences and elevate yourself above them, and the first step towards it is to realize that you are stagnating. There are some definitive signs of stagnation and here I will try to present them to you and (hopefully) show you how to tackle them.

Negativity

Have you ever started planning something that is supposed to change your life/make you rich/perfect your skills, only to have the mental piece of paper with the plan crumpled and thrown to the back of your mind because “it would never work”? This happens a lot to people. The current global situation (which, actually, has never been better), your material situation, or a lack of will can all keep you pinned in place.

There is no reason to think that something will fail because “it would never work.” You cannot know until you’ve given it a well-planned try.

However, negative thinking is not entirely your fault. It can also come through…

Negative Environment

This starts with your friends and family, but is not limited to them. Oftentimes, it will be your friends who will poke holes in your plans because they want to try and keep you in the status quo. They will not do this because they have ill intentions, instead, they will see it as doing you a favor and being honest with you. People like the status quo and do not like to see it changed. It will threaten their comfort zone (more on that later) and put them in situations they have not prepared for. Of course, none of this is on the forefront of their logic and most of the time they are not even aware of this fact.

While this is no reason to abandon your friends completely and sever all ties to them, sometimes a change of environment can do a lot of good. Have a new hobby? Start hanging out with people who have the same one.

Or, sit at a bar or café alone and try to find someone interesting to talk to. Talking to new people brings new perspectives on life. Sometimes, that is all you need to push ahead.

Inability to Make a Plan and Stick to It

When you do finally make a plan, the hardest part is actually sticking to it. For example, you want to improve your physical wellbeing by going to the gym. You’ve found a program that will get you fit and help you improve your conditioning. The plan involves daily exercises.

You may do it for three or four days and then skip one — because, hey, you deserve a break. Or you just start procrastinating from day one, thinking how you’ll work twice as hard tomorrow, or something like that.

This will effectively prevent you from making a change. The most important part of every plan is sticking to it. This may take a lot of willpower, but the change will be worth the mental effort. You can do it and you can do it today. Not twice as much tomorrow, not in a couple of days, but today, as it is the only day when you can fulfill what you planned, and it’s all up to you.

This part may also include doing away with some things, like…

Your Comfort Zone

It is a popular saying nowadays that “you can’t make a joke in 2016 without offending anyone.” Everyone has their “safe space,” which works like a bubble of your beliefs and habits which comfort you, telling you that things are alright and nothing needs to change. Stepping out of it, sometimes even for a moment, brings about anxiety, panic attacks, or just a flat-out denial that there is anything good on the outside.

If you wish to change, there will be a lot of things that will lie outside this bubble. It will involve doing things that you have never done before or even heard of. And it’s always easier to default back to the comfort zone and feel content with what you have than to step outside of it and feel outright lost. But it has to be done. It is the only way to achieve personal progress.

No one is good at everything at the first try. The whole history of mankind is a trial-and-error process and, without it, we would never get to where we are today. It’s not about “I can’t do this,” but about “I’ve failed now, but I know what not to do next time.”

Also, living in your comfort zone almost always leads you to feeling like you know it all, and to…

Not Identifying Your Weaknesses

Habits and routines developed during childhood and teenage years slowly take over your life. We are all looking for stability. Once you are buried in your routines, you will not see that some of them are, actually, your weaknesses.

Have you, perhaps, developed a habit that is hurting your health (mental or physical)? Do you have work to do, but you’ve decided to Netflix and chill instead? You’d think that these habits simply help you to relax, take your mind off things, or just help you get the job done, but they will also prevent you from seeing how they are hurting you.

Realizing that you have a weakness is the first step towards improving in that field.
Scrolling social media feeds, for example, may relax you, but it will also keep you lazy and can even leave you unmotivated to do anything.

Alcohol may be good as a social lubricant (by far the best description of it that I’ve seen in my life), but drinking everyday, even binge-drinking, can become a habit.
You think that everything is normal, but it actually heavily influences your decision-making and, in the end, can ruin your life. It is essential to see things for what they are, not only for the good that they bring you.

Once you’ve realized that you have a weakness, you can choose to rectify it yourself, but this is not always possible.

Conclusion

Some habits grip us hard and they (or we) do not wish to let go. That’s when it’s the time to talk to a professional and get some advice.

Basically, habits can hold us back. The world is in constant change and we must change, too, in order to stay on top. There is no recipe for a perfect life, as much as you think you’ve found it.

Challenge yourself at every step and step out of that comfort zone. After a while, you’ll feel that it was all worth it and that life has meaning again.

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