In commemoration of the International day of the girl child, Veteran actress and movie producer, Omotola Jalade took to her Instagram page to share an inspiring message.

She wrote,

On today’s girl child day I’ll do an unusual post true to me. As a child I lost my father age 12. Sponsored by a great community of Ondo men, the #Ekimogun club, so i could continue my education. At age 15, started struggling to help my widowed mother. I started working in the Entertainment Industry. While going to school, and working, faced many challenges as a female child… talks of being loose, perhaps being a prostitute,lack of freedom to mingle like male counterparts, rumours and fear of slander, sexual harassments… but one of my early dreams was to be great at whatever I chose and be side by side the best in the World. I’m Not totally there yet, … but.. That 12 years old iyanaipaja little girl did take care of her widowed mum till she died, took care of her younger brothers… they are in marriage stages now, taking care of herself and her own family, taking care of a few people she is privileged to be able to. She has worked, spoken on, been awarded on World stages , and has been compared to the people she admired when growing up , from other parts of the World… She’s still a work in progress but… Dont You dare Underestimate the possibilities of a girl Child. #Educationiskey #Educationbreedsconfidence #Ressilience #deligence #Girlchild #internationaldayofgirlchild #impossibleisNothing

Founder of  the Breast Cancer Association of Nigeria, BRECAN and First Lady of Ondo State, Mrs Betty Anyanwu-Akeredolu has opened up on her battle with breast cancer in an interview with Vanguard Newspaper.

She said;

 ”I survived breast cancer about 20 years ago. It all started in 1997 when I was diagnosed. Before then, I didn’t know anyone who had that experience and the little information I got was from the international media. On that fateful morning when I felt something in my breast, of course, my mind raced to breast cancer because it was where such a disease was located. I was scared and didn’t know what to do; it happened when I was resting at home during my annual leave. It got me thinking that if this happened to be breast cancer, what was I going to do at that age? I was 42 or 43 and I had little children. What would become of those children? I kept the discovery to myself for almost one week. My baby was just four years’ old or thereabout. So, I just tuned to television that morning and what I heard was that ‘this programme could save your life’. Immediately I heard that, I raised my head from the pillow, sat and began to wonder, what could this be? And it happened to be about breast cancer survival journey. That coincidence saved my life. There was this woman and it was her journey through breast cancer diagnosis, and she happened to be the mother of a popular Hollywood actor. She went through the treatment and, as a survivor, was sharing her experience. She used her journey to lift the spirit of those undergoing such experience and I benefited from it. That was how I summoned the courage to go to hospital, and said that ‘whatever this woman did, I am going to be like her’’.

”After the examination, the doctor confirmed there was a lump, but he didn’t know what it was. When I told my husband, he was scared but he didn’t know I had been fortified by that television programme I had watched. He must have wondered where I got the strength because I was on my feet and prepared that whatever that woman did, I was going to do and overcome. Then my treatment commenced. The first treatment was mastectomy. At the said time (1997), the level of breast health care was at the rudimentary level. Radical mastectomy meant ‘just remove everything (breasts)’ and I said ‘remove the damn thing if that is what will make me live’. My experience was one of shattering loneliness, unavailability of information and group support, coupled with the tight- lip syndrome and indifference surrounding the disease’ she said.

Speaking about what prompted her to start BRECAN, she said;

”My situation inspired me to do something that will bring about a positive and lasting change in the attitude of breast cancer victims and the Nigerian society towards breast cancer and sufferers.”

Speaking about why some women keep quite about their cancer, Akeredolu said;

”Like I always tell women, surviving breast cancer is all about attitude. If you lose it, it can be very difficult because some women, immediately they are told they are going to lose their breasts, they are already gone. First, they would think their husbands would marry other women with two breasts. The man shouldn’t that be on the radar screen, they should be more concerned about their children. They must do everything to live and take care of the children because they could not tell the character of the women the husbands would marry to take care of their children after their death. So when women reject mastectomy and run to a pastor who will give them ‘holy water or Jerusalem oil’ to rub because they don’t want to lose their breasts, at the end of the day, they come back with decayed breasts. So, which one will anyone choose? Is it not better you lose breasts, live and be well for your children and husband than you being preoccupied that your husband will leave you and marry someone else? You have to live before you can talk about enjoying marriage; one comes first before the other. Being one-breasted doesn’t really define you. I once told a woman, ‘when your husband first saw you, he never saw your nakedness’. But should victims be afraid of mastectomy? Even after mastectomy, you can still have a baby, yes; you can breastfeed with one breast. But you must be alive to  be able to do this. I had successful treatment and everything done at UCH. That brings me to the point that the country doesn’t know what it has because we have everything to make this country great. I think those that take decisions are the ones that are not thinking rightly of what this nation can be. When I had my surgery, there was petrol scarcity, so we had to buy fuel in Jerry-can and gave to my consultant to use because I needed to get rid of this thing. I was lucky my own cancer was discovered at stage one. There are many women, but because it isn’t painful, they just carry on; not knowing that they have bomb in them waiting to explode. Unfortunately over 80 per cent is what we see in our hospitals nationwide”.

Credit: Vanguard Newspaper, fabwoman.ng

I stumbled on a news story where Mr. Chris Attoh who recently announced his separation or divorce from his wife made some statements concerning his failed marriage.

As a person who has studied the subject of relationship success, and how to build a happy and long-lasting marriage, I feel compelled to reply. Before I continue to ramble, in case you haven’t read the statement accredited to him. Here is it:

“A woman who does not submit to the husband and trust his instinct is not going to be successful in marriage. I think that we have forgotten the fundamentals of marriage. When you love someone, it’s important to be able to forgive, respect and submit. As a woman, you need to trust the captain of the ship. It’s truly important if you want peace in your home.”

“If you are a Christian, it is your bible that will take you through your wedding days. Everything happens for a reason. I have a beautiful baby boy, a wealth of experience and a lot of work to do.”

Before we ask a woman to submit. We must ask for the origin of that suggestion. Obviously, it’s from the bible and he has rightly hinted that when he said: “If you are a Christian…” When the woman was asked to submit in that verse of scripture, we conveniently forget to recall that the man was asked to love and die for her. Yes, that’s the complete Bible.

I am not privy to the hidden secrets of their marriage but Mr. Chris’s statement may reek of entitlement mentality. A prevailing philosophy by many men in my generation. “When a woman is submissive to a man, that marriage will be successful”.

This is a fallacy that needs to stop. It is not the 9 – 5 job of a woman to make her marriage work while the man treats it like a side hustle. The success of ANY marriage is a full-time job for both the man and the woman. It takes a man that is ready to die for her and a woman that is ready to submit to such a die-hard man.

When you make mistakes as a man and your woman is finding it hard to forgive you. It’s not because she forgot the need to be submissive. It’s because, just like you made a mistake, she hasn’t learned to master her emotions and let go of the hurt you caused her. She probably wouldn’t be in that shape had it not been your mistake. This goes both ways.

I have constantly poised in my teachings that anybody can be married but not anyone can build a Happy and Longlasting marriage. With all due respect sir, this is basically what that ‘submit’ verse was talking about – ‘If you are not ready to die for her, you are not eligible for a marriage that is Happy and Longlasting.’

I have never met Miss Damilola Adegbite and I am certain that she has her flaws just like you. She may even be the one with ‘bigger troubles’. However, if I will respond in the same manner you made that statement, here is what I would say, “when a woman believes a man can literally die for her, she would hold on to him forever. Submission will never be a problem”

A great mind said, “When people feel loved, it is easier for them to listen.” and I couldn’t agree more.

To every man out there who is shying away from taking responsibility for the success or failure of their relationship or marriage, you need to answer these questions:

Have you loved her enough?

Does she feel like she’s the most important person to you?

Have you lived in such a way that she can vouch for you?

Have you been 100% committed to her and her success?

Do you often ask her to make more sacrifices than you have shown willingness to make?

Can you die for her?

Until all your answers to these questions are in the affirmative, you have no right to demand submission. If she gives you, great, she’s a developed woman and if she doesn’t, understand that she’s just in the same phase you are in – ignorant!

Mr. Legend is a relationship expert who is passionate about the subject of Happy and Long-Lasting marriage. He believes that only the High-Value Partner can build such marriage. Follow on IG: @OlatunjiLegend

Credit: olatunjilegend.com