Esther Ijewere

In Editor's Choice July 6, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“AS A WOMAN YOU HAVE TO BE DOGGED IF YOU WANT TO GO INTO ACTIVISM” – ONUGHA ROSEMARY

Onugha Rosemary is a passionate educator and serial humanitarian, she alongside her wonderful team educate and support vulnerable children living in slums across Lagos. The graduate of Applied Microbiology from Ebonyi State University advocates for quality education, reduced poverty by education and empowerment of women in the society.

Rose who is also a food vendor, has been involved in teaching and raising role models as well as carrying out humanitarian activities with marginalised children by donating school materials to aid easy learning as well as coaching them on the needs of education not withstanding their immediate communities.

In her words: “I intend working with urban and rural slum kids by making sure that each one of them have the privileged of attending basic education and as well acquiring the needed skills to survive as an individual”.

The serial Humanitarian shares he inspiring story with me in this interview.

Growing up

My childhood and environment prepared me for what I’m doing now. Growing up in a community where we had hoodlums and sex workers as neighbours made we know who and what I don’t want to be like.

I had several occasions where I was sent out of school because of fee. These are few things children in slums and undocumented areas go through, when asked why you are at home, my parent could probably say I’m not feeling too good.

My environment made me very ambitious because I really wish I could change a lot of things, it made me who I am, it made me have a picture of who I want to be. It made me aspire for greatness.

It was quite unfortunate that I didn’t grow up having role models, I only grew up having people I didn’t want to be like and seeing situation I’d never want to be in.

My passion for the vulnerable and less privileged in the society

I discovered that most times when interventions, outreaches, sensitizations, quizzes, debates are being carried out the children living in the slums are being exempted. They miss out on a lot of opportunities and empowerment programs because of their environment, as a matter of fact, people and even government hardly remember that they exist. I’m trying to be their voice, to give them hope and as well motivate them to be their best versions of themselves irrespective of their present environment.

Every child matter notwithstanding their environment and their background.

Working directly with slum kids

I believe all children should have an equal right and access to education.

During my research I discovered that about 40 to 50 percent of children living in slums do not have basic education. And this can further be a disaster to the society in the future. I thought within myself how do I stop this trend and reduce the level of illiteracy in Nigeria? This also formed the basis of my outreach. As we know, education reduces poverty and it has been noted that the level of poverty in the slum is in high rate. To tackle poverty, disease, ill vices in the society and to create jobs and be employable, educating the slum kids is the best shot.

Reception

Most times I go to these communities, I’m been looked down on, like what has this small girl got to offer us. But at the end of the visits both the children, school owners and their parents are always grateful and they have a different mind set of what education is about.

My Inspiration

Like I said earlier, my environment inspired me. My parents as well especially my late father. He was able to raise us in a godly manner with the help of my mother. Until this moment, I can’t explain how my parents did it that we never took after the environment or joined the bad gangs. Till this moment is bewildering. Honourable Buumba Malambo from Zambia also inspires me she built a home for vulnerable children, orphan in her community as well as educating them.

Also, the founder of La Roche Leadership foundation Mrs Osoba, she is a humanitarian with a golden heart, she is also a member of the Global Goodwill Ambassador. she has a library in her foundation that enables children to read to fun and examination. She also donates educational books to different government schools. She supports humanitarian workers to create more impact in the society.

Dr DiPillar Richard who is the founder of Global Goodwill Ambassadors worldwide, he unites humanitarian workers around the world with the goal of making our world a better place. We also have the opportunity to network with other humanitarian workers outside the country and as well learn from them to create a greater impact in the society.

Reward

The greatest reward is the reward of fulfilment. Been able to create an impact in the lives of these kids. Also, when I joined the Global Goodwill Ambassadors network worldwide. When I got featured in a newspaper as well. Those are the rewards for now.

Challenge

One of the challenge is getting funding for projects which is the most challenging. Another is my gender, people tend to think that as a woman you have less to offer, especially going to the slums where they believe that women are not supposed to be educated but they can either fish, farm or trade and also help out at home. It’s challenging having to change their mind set and showing them women role models in all fields. That’s why we need more women to engage in both science and politics, because the society has made them believe that some profession are meant for a particular gender.

On giving up

Yes, sometimes when I have ideas written down and want to implement them but not been able to because of some situations like funds. For instance, I visited a community in Alimosho Local Government Area of Lagos State and discovered that there is no secondary school in Abaranje and Okerube communities. These two communities only has primary education, we can imagine what happens to the children after the primary education. Most of them that their parents can’t afford a private school are either seen roaming about, hawking, some have even joined hoodlums and some others not too good gangs.

As individuals and government trying to reduce the crime rate, illiteracy and poverty in the society, education should be the number tool to help curb the menace. I have a temporal solution to educate children in that community pending when the state government will erect a proper school and classroom for the community.

Being a food vendor and serial Entrepreneur

My food vendor business is new and I’m still looking out for more clients, so combining it with my humanitarian work is not really stressful. Because we do mostly in bowls, for meetings and office packs. I have people that can help out in both my humanitarian work and my food business, so I can take an order to deliver meals today and as well go for my outreach the same day. It’s just a matter of planning and having volunteers to assist.

Being a Woman of Rubies

Been able to impact lives, giving hope to children living in slums and undocumented areas and been able to empower women. A woman of rubies is a woman that is a role model in her society.

For women in the development sector

You have to be dogged if you want to go into activism as a woman, people will sometimes look down on you and make you feel you are making a mistake doing what you are doing. Sometimes you might even get a threat on your life, you will go to some places that you would be turned down but don’t give up because a lot of people are looking up to you and would also like to trade on the path. Giving up means you have succeeded in making people looking up to you to loss focus.

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel and you’d be surprised to know many lives you’ve been able to impact with your works.

Activist being appreciated

Activist are not appreciated enough, that’s why we need to create more awareness to show the impacts of our activism and how our activism has made changes in day to day life.

One thing I wish I could change in the education sector

I would like to change the conventional ways of teaching and as well change the mind set of our tutors. Some of our schools still teaches with the same methods our are parents were taught. Education has evolved from been a normal classroom teaching to incorporating our day to day activities into mathematics and all subjects. Children should be able to mix fun with learning. Games, and life skills should be incorporated into teaching. If children are guided to express themselves and not been imposed, educational system would have a dynamic and drastic turnaround in Nigeria. Education should not only be maths and English, children should be given the space to be innovative and creative.

In self development July 4, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

OLACHI OLATUNDE: WHY SOME RULES ARE JUST BS!

The first time I heard the term ‘bullshit rules’, I remember thinking to myself ‘wait, bullshit what?’ BULLSHIT-RULES. You know what they are? They are these set of unwritten rules that the world expects us to live by but when you really break them down, you find out that the rule is really just bullshit. So Vishen Lakhiani (Founder of MindValley) decided to term them Bullshir-Rules and I’m going to attempt to whole idea to you.

Man, by being is programmable and I’ll tell you what I mean in a sec. If you strip down the things you generally hold to be true, to be your beliefs – you will notice that most of the things you believe are not a result of your conscious or rational choosing. You have grown to believe many things through programming, imitation and indoctrination. You basically believe a lot of things because you were told at some point in your life that that’s just how life is.

This would have been alright if the beliefs passed on were consistently beneficial, but this is not always the case – matter of fact, it rarely is.

As infants we are born without beliefs, with no real concept of right or wrong, good or bad. Society tells us what is acceptable and what is not. Culture determines what length a boys’ hair should be, parents dictate who they expect us to be friends with, and what they think we should study. Religion is clear on who makes a satisfactory spouse and who does not.

If you really really think about it, we are largely a product of our programming, yes there are exceptions but by and large many of us are still living the lives that someone somewhere told us to live.

“We have taken our definitions of what is acceptable and what is not from people other than ourselves imagining that they know more about our lives than we”.

Now I understand the place of parents, teachers and others in authority over us and they are very much needed but we must not be oblivious of the fact that it is very easy for them to pass on their beliefs to us; whether these beliefs are necessary for our growth or not. To be really honest, a lot of their beliefs are bullshit and you really need to chuck them, hold on to what serves you only.

The thing with beliefs is that they are fact. Whatever you believe becomes ‘fact’ for you so it is possible that you can live your whole life living someone else’s beliefs and experiencing the life that goes with it. How uncool.

If your beliefs aren’t even yours, then are you yourself at all? Makes you wonder why there’s so many people running around with no sense of identity, no knowledge of who they are. They have relied on others to decide who they are and therefore who they can become – it is a tragedy really.

But NOT today!!!

Today we are crushing all bullshit rules and making up new rules to replace them. I do apologize for all the swear words in this post if it hurts your senses, there are just a few more to come and we’ll be done – I promise.

To attempt a definition – a bullshit rule is a belief about yourself or life that you have always believed to be true even if it isn’t necessarily. It’s mostly negative and a result of unintentional or intentional indoctrination. Here are a few bullshit rules we need to get rid of today.

Bull-Shit rule 1

To make money, you have to work really really really hard. Hard work is important but don’t get stuck thinking that unless you sweat and toil, you cannot have the success or the money you want. Just look around you, too many examples to be a fluke.

Bull-Shit rule 2

To be a happy and successful woman, you need a man – Nobody should ever NEED anyone other than themselves to make them happy. You don’t NEED anyone, you might want ‘em because really what would life be without men…heheehe..

Bull-Shit rule 3

I need to go to school to make any money – Education is important, but you do not always need the four walls of a room to learn. You 100% percent need education but it does not have to come in the form of a college degree. Your knowledge is not less valuable just because it didn’t come with a certificate. You feel me?

Bull-Shit rule 4

She is less of a woman because she did not physically birth a child – This is bullshit and that’s all I’m saying about that.

I know how sensitive this is and I say it with utmost consideration for all concerned but it’s just not true and it’s painful to see people feel less than themselves for something they have no control over. This one pains me on a personal level. Chuck this BS rule quickly.

Bull-Shit rule 5

Money is the root of evil – if you believe this then you will stay far away from money. How do you think something is evil and keep trying to get it? It’s counter-intuitive. Money is great, its what you do with it that makes it either evil or good.

Bull-Shit rule 6

I can’t make money from doing what I really love – oohhh, watch me and you can too. Might take a little time and cost a lot but it is possible. There are too many life examples for it not to be possible.

I can go on but where’s the fun in that? Get in on the gist and let us know what bull shit rules you will be chucking today. Remember if it doesn’t serve you, chuck it. *singing* …bad energy stay far away…

About Olachi Olatunji

Hey, my name is Olachi and I like to refer to myself as a ‘thinking enthusiast.’

I love a few things, number one of them being learning and number two would be spreading.

I believe in the power of right thinking to transform lives and as a result; I enjoy spreading knowledge, inspiring thinking and encouraging movement.

I however am not a very serious person so please don’t expect to find me in a suit… In a crowd with beating music though, find me somewhere in the middle – moving to the beat and filling my soul with joy.

Olachi Olatunji

Chief Curator,

#TKOH

http://www.theknowledgeofhow.com/

In Editor's Choice June 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“THERE ARE MANY TIMES I FELT LIKE THROWING IN THE TOWEL AND PICKING UP A PAID JOB” – OLAMIDE AYENI-BABAJIDE

One of the biggest environmental challenge in the world is waste management. Often times as humans we only focus on the consumption of the products without thinking of the diverse effect of releasing the waste to the environment. So many people have been trying to change the narrative and sensitize the society on the the need to manage our waste products the same way we screen what we consume.

While effective disposal is one of the major mechanisms to waste management, recycling and remodelling the waste is a better way to preserve it for re-usage. Olamide Ayeni-Babajide has taken this up through her Pearl recycling initiative. In 2016, she started a social enterprise that remodels solid waste into sustainable, eco-friendly products for the last-mile citizens. Her organization trains women and unemployed youths on waste to furniture vocational skills. She also solves the problem of inadequate chairs in public schools by producing ergonomic classrooms chairs from waste for the pupils, a project sponsored by the US Embassy Abuja.

In 2017, she was selected as one of the Tech women Emerging Leader by the United States Department of States which makes her interned with In 2018, she was named as an Obama African Leader for her impact work and also named as the most outstanding social innovator by LEAP AFRICA.

Olamide who holds a Bachelor of Technology degree in Computer Engineering and several certifications from CISCO and ISACA and With more than eight years’ experience as a Network Infrastructure . She shares her inspiring story with me in this educative interview.

In her words : “ The environment is not enabling for most start-up founders due to rigid government policies stifling life’s out of young start-ups. ”

Childhood Preparation

I grew up in the rural part of south-western Nigeria. I was taught early that when things are broken, they are fixed and not thrown away. I think the learning came from the fact that we didn’t live a life of luxury neither did we live in penury but the little we had, we were taught to use it well. Also, coming from paternal generation of wood carvers was also part of what contributed largely to my creative nature. At an early age, I started repairing my spoilt shoes and slippers myself, I had all the shoe repairer tools, I could weave and sew, and I had my hands on practically every skills.

Inspiration behind Pearl Recycling

Pearl Recycling started on the flight back to Nigeria from UAE in 2012. I had gone for a conference on Infrastructure engineering and bought few home decorative products. I checked one of them and realized it was made from waste corn-husk. You can imagine my anger and unbelief when I made this discovery. First, I had issues with customs bringing those decorative products into the country and coupled with the fact that they were expensive. As days goes by, my anger turned to curiosity. I told myself we have corns in Nigeria, but we are throwing the husk away. Why can’t I start collecting the corn husk from the roadside corn sellers and start turning them into beautiful work of arts? That was how Pearl recycling started. We progressed from corn husks to plastic, wine corks and tyres. We currently work with all form of solid waste, turning them into artistic pieces either as furniture or décor.

Pearl Recycling, was selected by World Youth Forum as one of the 100 initiatives from Africa and she was selected to represent Nigeria at World Entrepreneurship Investment Forum in 2017 due to the impact that Pearl Recycling is making locally. We have also been featured on several international and local media including, Reuters, Washington Post, and Aljazeera

Impact of being an Obama African leader and Leap Africa’s outstanding social innovator

In 2018, Obama Foundation made a call for outstanding leaders in Africa who are changing narratives in their field. We know we are constantly breaking the glass-ceiling with the waste remodeling niche we are building so I applied. I was selected as one of the 200 Obama African Leaders. This gave me the opportunity to meet with other change-makers in the continent, connect with investors and create a ripple effect of change. One of the highlight was pitching the waste to tiles project as an alternative to bad roads in Africa rural locations. The project was selected and scaled to top four out of seventy other projects and we pitched it at the pitching event. A fellow leader from Angola took the idea back to his country and started working on the project.

LEAP Africa SIP is a progamme for social innovators in Nigeria where selected social entrepreneurs are trained on important subjects like structuring social enterprises and building a sustainable social enterprise. I was selected in 2017 and after the one year programme, three outstanding social innovators are selected and awarded grants of 1 million Naira each to scale up their impacts through the support of Union Bank. I was selected and the grant has helped us to scale up our distribution outlets and acquire more tools.

Reception

When we started officially in 2016, there were a lot of cultural inhibitions, negative stereotypes and complete rejection of the idea. The first hurdle we had to break was the age-long belief that “waste is dirty and meant for landfills”. We came up with a strategy to make waste enticing to feel and touch and that was how we were able to break the negative stereotypes. In 2016, we could go a whole week at the office without anyone calling to ask about what we do. However, there has been significant change in perception and acceptance. We get up to six calls weekly from individuals and organizations asking about what we do and the service we render.

From computer engineer to eco-friendly products and waste

After the curiosity of my UAE trip, I started working with solid waste products on weekends. I was in an 8-5 job and the only time I had left to work on my passion was weekends. I started showing colleagues what I made from waste and they were interested and willing to buy. That was how I started making wall decors and art pieces from waste for colleagues and friends. In 2015, I applied for Tony Elumelu foundation grant with the idea. It wasn’t a registered business. It was just an idea and it was selected. That selection birthed Pearl Recycling. It was a defining factor for me, knowing that an organization like TEF founds such a niche worthy propelled me to make it a full time job.

Challenges

The most significant challenge of all is the perception of people to waste. This time around, not from a place of negative assumption, but from a place of complete ignorance. People aren’t aware of the treasure in waste and they end up throwing them away. The second issue is government intervention for emerging businesses like ours. The environment is not enabling for most start-up founders due to rigid government policies stifling life’s out of young start-ups.

Also, we lack proper funding institutes or organizations locally that can fund social innovations. Most funding organizations are international and this has impeded the growth of local social enterprise.

On giving up

There are many times I felt like throwing in the towel and picking up a paid job. Most especially, when I am fully aware of my skill and worth in the labour market. However, tenacity of purpose and understanding my Why has been the reason why I can stay and fight to see my vision become a reality. In an environment like ours, everything is working to choke your vision and you must be ready to fight to survive.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I became aware of my worth at the young age of ten and the inherent power I have as a women to create positive impact around me. I am a woman of rubies because I create the change I want to see without waiting for anyone to do it for me and by so doing, I am also helping other women to see and acknowledge the inherent power in them

Advice for those who want to go into my line of business

You must be sure of your WHY. You passion must be able to sustain you when every other thing fails. You must listen and open your mind to learn. You need to build bridges and know that collaboration is the new competition. However, you must be smart in all your dealings.

In self development June 27, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

EDEN PEACE: WHEN SHE SAYS “NO” SHE MEANS “NO”!

For you, your argument might be that the lady is giving you confusing signals, and I agree that some women do that. But even then, no woman ever wants her freewill to be overridden. You have an obligation to respect that.

At different times in the last month alone, I have spoken with men who, during the conversation, have said, “When a woman says no, she means yes.”

You have heard that statement, no doubt. In fact, you are possibly one of the millions who believe it because, after all, women don’t know what they want. When men and women were created, why did it take so long for a woman to come on the scene, if not that they weren’t originally intended? What that means, of course, is that women don’t have as much anything as men, including freewill.

Ordinarily I wouldn’t be so bothered about statements like this, except that more than a few men have repeated the sentiment around me, which is really bothersome. That and the sad news about rape I’ve been hearing lately.

Women are raped and nobody enforces the law to protect them. But we force them to live with the consequences long after the incident. Do we really think that little of women?

When anyone – male or female – makes a statement like “When a woman says no, she means yes,” that person is propagating rape. See, people would have you believe that this statement applies only to instances where the man has a disagreement with the woman. They will say that when a woman says she wants to be left alone, what she is saying is the man shouldn’t go anywhere, that he needs to intensify his apologies. That is a big problem, however, and as well-meaning as it sounds, it is flawed. Highly so.

If you have been in enough disagreements, you can tell that staying, when someone has told you expressly not to be there, is fodder for aggression. What often happens is instead of abating the tension, the offender’s presence incites more anger. Why incite someone to aggression when you could easily walk out and talk about it at a more appropriate time? And let us not pretend that this is different, because it is not.

Unfortunately, religious leaders preach messages like this, too, which poses problems, because beyond petty disagreements between couples, they blur the lines and start to take statements like that to mean women are not intellectually sound enough to decide for themselves.

Can you see the problem here? Taking a word with a very direct meaning to mean something else, which is very consistent with how rapists think. Look at the recent abhorrence that happened in Abuja with policemen raping women. What if those women were prostitutes? Is that to say that a woman who chooses to earn her living sleeping with men is okay to be raped?

Well then, we might as well pass it into law that raping prostitutes is legal since we’re being all morally smug.

Freewill is the key here, and with it comes choice, as such no is a word that must never be negotiated.

Every time I think about the privilege of my humanity, one of the things I’m most thankful for is my ability to choose. But the world operates with such tyranny that one wonders if the infinite intelligence that put the power of choice in every human being didn’t know what it was doing when it did that. We have a world full of the effort to control people: sexual trafficking, domestic labor, war and all that sort. But the mandate was for everyone to dominate, not even over each other but over the earth.

When you say that a woman doesn’t really mean it when she says no, you take her for a fool. You take away the power of her freewill and give other people the permission to do the same. When you conveniently misinterpret her, you send her an unconscious message that her assertion carries no weight. Sadly, you then resort to blaming her when someone with as skewed a perspective as yours takes advantage of her. You didn’t invent the English vocabulary, so why give the words another meaning than originally intended?

Irrespective of what a woman’s body language says, no means no. You must show a regard for her when you hear what she is saying, and respond.

Source: Bellanaija

In self development June 26, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

IBUKUNOLUWA AJAYI: STOP GIVING POWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS!

Back in 2014, I had come to the end of myself. It was the 6^th year since I had been battling leg ulcer, and I was tired, frustrated, humiliated, angry, depressed and suicidal. I had tried all forms of treatment, but none of them worked. I had done one surgery (skin graft) and used various remedies, Chinese and herbal.

I had just tried the herbal treatment my aunt suggested. She said there was a woman who used herbal medicine to treat wounds and other illnesses. I was very much against it in the beginning, but I wanted to have at least tried everything possible. My mum, my aunt and I paid a visit to the woman at her house. My mum told her my history and all I had been through, and she assured my mum that the herbal treatment would work. The woman charged us an exorbitant amount but my mum was willing to pay anything as long as I got better.

The herbal treatment process was that the wound would be washed with a herbal soap and then some herbal powder would be put on the surface of the wound. The woman asked me to sit on a stool so she could wash the leg. I didn’t put too much thought to it because I felt How bad could it be? I had been through worse. The wound was badly infected at the time, and it had some yellow stuff on the surface, which was why she needed to wash it.

I sat on the stool and she took my leg. The minute she began washing it I started to scream out. It was so painful. I hadn’t expected that much pain. I tried to jerk my leg away from her hand, but her grasp was strong. I was shaking on the stool and I was close to falling off. The woman had to call in reinforcements to hold me down. Her son and my aunt pinned me down on the stool, and she continued to scrub the wound.

I was going through various emotions and I looked to my mum so she could stop them, but she was crying and she said: “Please, just bear it, God will let this one work.” The woman finished washing and put the herbal powder on the wound. I couldn’t walk because I was in a lot of pain, so they carried me into the car and into the house when we arrived home.

I couldn’t walk for two days after the treatment, so I crawled around my house. The herbal treatment went on for almost three months and the wound was healing. On one of the days I went for treatment, she told my mum and I that someone had called her to come to Abuja to treat a senator. She said she would give us everything she used on our next visit, and if we continued the treatment the way she had been doing it, the wound would heal completely.

The woman travelled and my mum and I treated the wound at home with all the things she gave us, but it stopped working. My mum called the woman and asked her to please come back and continue the treatment, but she didn’t. After all of this happened, I was totally done with living. After all, I had tried it all. But one thought kept plaguing my mind. I didn’t want to have suffered hell on earth, and then hell for eternity. A part of me wanted it all to stop, and the other part just wanted a way to cope with it all.

While searching for a coping mechanism, I discovered something. Anytime I dressed the wound and I focused on the pain I was feeling, the pain would seem so unbearable and I would be miserable the whole day. But If I dressed the leg, and I immediately opened my laptop and started to watch a movie, and really concentrated on the movie, rather than on the pain I was feeling, after a while the pain would subside and I wouldn’t feel as miserable or as frustrated as I was before the movie.

It’s like the story in the Bible where the children of Israel were being bitten by snakes and God asked Moses to put a big snake on a staff and mount it, and all those who looked to the big snake on the staff would live, but those who continued to look down at the snake that was biting them would die.

I tried this new pattern for a while and it worked for me, and so I adopted it as a mantra for life. If something bad happened, or I was experiencing mood swings or someone upset me, I would find a distraction immediately. This really helped me because I was no longer focusing on the problems, which meant I wasn’t giving it power over me.

We humans are so accustomed to focusing solely on the problem at hand. We fret, worry, stress and magnify the problem so much that we are unable to see a solution in sight, if one exists. Immediately something goes wrong, our natural instinct is to worry and stress over it; most of the time we are unable to solve the problem by going that route. Instead of following your natural instinct, why not take a break and save yourself from developing a migraine or a high bp?

If something gets bad, can it be fixed or can you replace it? Rather than brood over a problem and let it overpower you, find a distraction for the moment, and by the time you come back to it, it won’t seem as nerve-racking and as overwhelming as you thought it was. If someone pisses you off, watch a movie, read a book, or take a cold shower.

Distracting yourself from the issue at hand not only puts you in control of the situation, but also prevents you from making rash decisions that could ultimately have negative consequences, which only creates more problems for yourself and others. The minute you give in to the negativity, you begin to lose your power.

Life is a power struggle, and whoever or whatever holds the power sits in the driver seat and has control. I had been giving the leg ulcer too much power, and it had been driving my life ragged, but the minute I stopped giving it power, I took back control over my life and I could think rationally.

It’s never as bad as it seems or as overwhelming as it looks. It only feels that way because you have given power away to the problem. Always remember you are in control of your life. The power is yours. Don’t give it away.

Source: Bellanaija

In self development June 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NNEAMAKA ONOCHIE: WOMAN, TAKE THY VEX MONEY

“I was embarrassed, Amaka. All I had with me was transport fare, which could barely take me home. Besides being labeled all sorts of dehumanising names, my wrist watch and shoes were taken from me and I was made to wash plates. And till now I haven’t heard from him.”

I was scooping the remaining white soup in a bowl when I heard the mind shattering knock on my door. It must be the gateman, I thought. Maybe the clothes I left outside to dry had been taken down by the breeze. I wasn’t expecting a visitor. Besides, the gateman wouldn’t give anyone a pass without alerting me first. “Just a minute,” I screamed.

I rushed to the door and unbolted it. Behold, it was my friend Tinuke. I wasn’t really surprised. I guess we all have that friend who barges in on us without prior notice. The gateman always gave her free pass, as she was my close paddy.

“Good day,” she said so lightly you could barely hear her. Her face was creased with a frown and swollen like a rebellious puff puff, her eyes red and puffy you would know she just had a rendezvous with tears. I stepped aside to let her in, and she walked in sulking.

She sat down and I sat beside her. “Did anybody die?” I asked, baffled.

“No,” she answered and rolled her eyes.

“So?” I probed further. She opened her flimsy black purse and brought out a supposedly white handkerchief, dabbed the corners of her eyes carefully so as not to smear her already-washed-out-with-tears make up. I waited impatiently.

“I was invited on a date by Lawal, the guy I told you I met last week,” she began. “I got to the restaurant and sat waiting for him. While I waited I ordered for a glass of smoothie, which I gulped slowly. Thirty minutes later he still hadn’t shown up. Almost irritated, I called him. He apologised profusely for the delay, which he claimed was due to some unfinished business at the office. He said I should make an order of food and drinks, that he would soon join me.” I cleared my throat and listened as she continued.

“I ordered a plate of rice with shredded chicken sauce and a bottle of wine. I ate while waiting for him. I finished eating and he hadn’t shown up, and two hours had gone, so I ordered a big fresh fish and it was prepared for me. I hadn’t realised how much time had passed, and my date hadn’t shown up. I dialled his number and it was switched off. When I took down my phone a waiter had come with an exorbitant bill.” she started shedding fresh tears. “I was embarrassed, Amaka. All I had with me was transport fare, which could barely take me home. Besides being labeled all sorts of dehumanising names, my wrist watch and shoes were taken from me and I was made to wash plates. And till now I haven’t heard from him.”

I cleared my throat again, mentally analysing her tale of woes. I was mortified. I looked at her and felt like yanking her off my couch and shaking her so hard. “So you accumulated an exorbitant bill while waiting for a shadow” I said finally. Trying to be a voice of reason, I said, “I hope your Lawal hadn’t run into some kind of trouble,” then I reversed to the role of a sympathetic friend and sympathised with her while tabling where and how she failed.

I’m perturbed by how some women venture on dates empty handed, not asking themselves the what if questions. You should be ready for any eventuality. While preparing yourself to look your absolute best for your Romeo, heaping layers of foundation on your beautiful face, also endeavour to fling in some cash in your purse, otherwise known as vex money, so that when your Romeo cancels on you, you will do a hair flip knowing you’ve got your act together.

Order what you want I will soon join you is a trap. Unless you can pay for everything. Most women run into trouble because of greed, ahn ahn! A date to them is automatic ceremonious hunger alleviation, they come bearing with them dry throats for voluptuous gulps and empty stomachs filled with red eyed rattling worms. They make enormous orders not just for themselves, but for their clan and kindred, after all, an unfortunate Romeo strayed to their path. When the Romeo cunningly devises a means of escape for his already capsized pocket, the Juliet cries foul.

Eating to the size of your pocket cannot be overflogged. Make a deliberate attempt to know the price of your order, and eat to the size of your pocket, so that when Romeo cancels abruptly, you will be able to avoid every grit of embarrassment by paying graciously and exiting gracefully.

Source: Bellanaija

In self development June 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

YEWANDE MARQUIS: HOW DO YOU STUNT FOR THE ‘GRAM BUT STILL KEEP IT REAL?

It’s easy to underestimate the power of social media to negatively influence our thoughts and desires. We scroll and like and scroll and comment and keep scrolling and liking all day, but we leave with our minds loaded with all that we had just seen and read.

Today I posted some pictures on social media. I looked good and took some “Instagram-worthy” pictures I thought would make sense to share. I wanted a befitting caption to accompany the photos, but also didn’t want to put something pretentious or some other unrelated inspirational quote. The only thing that came to mind and was quite apt for how I felt at the time were lyrics to the song, Anchor by Bethel Music: Holding onto hope, holding onto grace, fully letting go, I surrender to your will. Though still unrelated to my pictures, I paraphrased and posted.

As I edited my pictures, I got the guilty feeling that I was posting pictures that weren’t necessarily reflective of my mood, upholding the fact that social media promotes a façade and the idea of keeping up appearances. I honestly wasn’t in the brightest of spirits, but still wanted to drop one for the ‘gram. As the likes and comments poured in, it occurred to me that someone out there would see my photos and be led to think that I have it good, with no serious worries. Who knows, someone struggling with a difficult situation may have seen my picture and sniggered, thinking Oh, she’s chilling and living her best life. If only that were true. But this is the reality of social media and, admittedly, I am an enabler.

Ah this person is getting married too, na wa o.

When did he relocate to Canada? Everybody is leaving Nigeria.

Wow, I remember when this girl started this business and now she has blown. Me I’m still here saying I want to start something.

See how pretty this girl looks and she lost so much weight.

Aww, they look so in love. When will I get my own love like this? *Types comment*: Couple goals <3 <3

This one is always travelling up and down the world, living their best life, she must have plenty of money.

These are some of the many thoughts that flow through my mind when scrolling through my Instagram feed, and I know I am not alone. But what this does is that it feeds our insecurities, creates a feeling of dissatisfaction such that if we’re not strong and self-assured, our insecurities soon come to the fore. It’s a black hole, and if you’re not careful, you’ll fall into the trap of developing feelings of envy, inadequacy, unhealthy comparison, and feeling sorry for yourself based on what you see. These feelings could grow into an ugly monster.

We have made social media into this virtual reality where we view the world through tinted lenses, leading to false aspirations and triggering a fear of missing out, or the feeling that life is passing you by.

This leaves me wondering why we are comfortable keeping up appearances and showing off the good times to convince others that we are indeed living our best lives, but aren’t comfortable showing the other side – the glamorous, dishevelled, anxious, unhappy, dissatisfied sides to us. For those who are brave enough to, they are ridiculed for putting their business out there and for not hiding their dirty laundry. On the flip side, I don’t think the ridicule and shaming, especially from people who barely know you and know only your online persona, is worth it, as it could take its own emotional and mental toll on you.

At a time in my life when I was very unhappy, I took to Twitter to vent about my frustration. My tweets reeked of sadness and a cry for help. Some folks reached out, which I was very grateful for. Others asked me about it months later. In hindsight, I cringe when I think of what it must have been like reading my tweets, as I must have come off as a very sad person, which is not a pretty look, and certainly not one that is reflective of who I am today. When I see similar tweets on my timeline, I wonder if the tweeter is doing well. But if I’m being honest, those are not the kind of tweets I expect to see when I open my Twitter feed, and I don’t think I am completely wrong to say that others feel the same way.

I realise that social media, for a lot of us, is somewhat of an escape from our reality. We don’t just check-in from time to time to see what others are up to, we also check-in for entertainment and to share snippets of our lives. So, my conclusion is that we don’t necessarily want to see the sad parts of others’ lives and know about their struggles, especially if we don’t know them personally. The same way we wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing the not so glamorous parts of our lives online for everyone to see.

That is, we don’t like to put ourselves out there, which is fine. Unless it’s a success story where we share the challenges we have faced after the fact. In that case, maybe we might be more receptive to posts like these. I am all for sharing on social media, after all, it’s a great way to keep up with friends. But where I start to see a problem is where people go out of their way to prove a point and portray an image that isn’t necessarily reflective of their reality. I honestly wish people would not put up pretentious and deliberately misleading posts to garner likes and comments. I believe the extra attention promotes a false sense of importance and an unhealthy reliance on internet strangers for validation. This ignores an underlying internal issue that needs to be addressed. Social media has its good sides, but this is one of its darker sides.

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this. How do you stunt for the ‘gram but keep things “real”? How do you strike a balance in your social media usage to avoid going over the edge and crossing the thin line between being your authentic selves and altering the appearance of your reality for validation? You are welcome to share your opinions and leave comments.

Source: Bellanaija

In self development June 24, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

SUBTLE SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE YOU MIGHT BE OVERLOOKING

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE?

Just like physical abuse — emotional abuse is an attempt to control another person. Rather than hitting or kicking the other party, however, the perpetrator uses emotion as their weapon of choice. The abuser might be aware or unaware, but they generally are keenly aware of a deep-rooted insecurity (which drives them to belittle, harass and demean their partner, spouse or family member).

A typical emotional abuser might accuse a spouse of cheating when they’re feeling insecure about their lovability, or they might be compelled the blame their partner for something unrelated or insignificant; inspiring conflict that more-often-than-not proves their darkest prophecies true. They might also constantly trying to control every move, he /she becomes an incessant criticizer and might verbally attack the other person when they feel as though they are not being “obeyed”.

Emotional abuse looks different, however, from partner-to-partner and case-to-case. Being able to spot the signs of emotional doesn’t just start with an understanding of the concept, it starts with understanding what an abuser can look like, as well.

WHAT AN EMOTIONAL ABUSER LOOKS LIKE.

Unfortunately, there’s no one hard-and-fast recipe for what an abuser looks like. There are, however, some central signs to look for and some facts that can help deepen your understanding of their behavior. Though it may not seem it at first glance, abusers feel powerless. Rather than fessing up to their securities, they over-compensate and conceal the truth behind a nasty wall of overbearing attitude and behavior. A personality profile which often looks a little something like this:

Need to be correct or in control.
Very jealous.
Doesn’t trust anyone.
Extremely insecure.
Verbally abusive.
Blames others for everthing.
Cruel to animals or children.
Very possessive with partners and “things”.
Has a history of aggression.
Hypersensitive to criticism.
Suffers from untreated mental health problems.
Needy with unrealistic expectations.

At first, it’s easy to rationalize and respond to this type of abuse in a logical way. Over time, however, that becomes harder to do as your resilience is worn down by the constant stress of conflict and confrontation. Knowing what abuse is, and knowing what an abuser looks like isn’t enough, though. You need to be able to spot the signs of abuse, especially the more subtle ones.

THE SUBTLE SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE YOU MIGHT BE OVERLOOKING.

Physical abuse comes with obvious physical signs that are instantly recognisable to the trained and untrained eye alike. Emotional abuse doesn’t work that way, however, and many of the signs (warning or otherwise) aren’t so easy to spot — or fess up to.

Opposing

Opposing occurs when the abuser argues against anything and everything you say. They challenge your perceptions, your opinions and your thoughts; they’ll even challenge how you carry yourself or live your life. Emotional abusers don’t care whether you’ve volunteered your thoughts or not, they treat you like an adversary and say “no” whenever they can.

Denying

Abusers love to deny the things that they’ve said or done. They’ll deny a conversation took place, and deny entire events altogether. They deny their abuse and, often, when confronted, resort to declarations of love and caring where once there was only scorn or vitriol. This manipulative behavior leads the abused party to doubt their own memory, perceptions and even experience — leading eventually to an extreme and persistent pattern more commonly known as gaslighting.

Blocking

Blocking occurs when an abuser switches topics, in order to avoid a conversation or confrontation that they don’t like. Abusers might also use accusations or blame to block you from the point you’e trying to make, and they do it with an ease that is almost breathtaking.

Undermining & interrupting

Those who abuse are fundamentally broken people, who are incapable (in the current moment) of facing their own inadequacies in any kind of meaningful way. Because they can’ face their own insecurities, they focus on the insecurities of others; working hard to undermine any sense of self-esteem or self-confidence the other party might have remaining. They’ll tell you that you don’t know what you’re talking about and even interrupt your sentences.

Minimization

One of the more subtle techniques used by emotional abusers is minimization. This practice isn’t just about making someone feel small — though that’s definitely a major part of it. More realistically, it’s the downplaying of important things, or the rendering of meaningful things as insignificant. It doesn’t matter if you’e expressing your emotions, feelings, views, problems or experiences. To the emotional abuser: it’ all worthless, and nothing to be fussed about.

Unreachable expectations

Emotional abusers are all about tearing their partners down, even when they appear to be building them up. Unreachable expectations are one of the way abusers zero in on their prey and destroy the last facets of their self-esteem. They do this by putting their partner on a ridiculous pedestal, which then allows them to react with constant disappointment and disdain. Feeling disappointed, the abuser then feel empowered to amplify their behavior, heaping even more scorn over an already scorn-filled relationship.

Walking on eggshells

The term “walking on eggshells” refers to the tendency of victims to to judge everything in their environments against how their abuser will react to it. If you find yourself making decisions based entirely around whether or not they upset your partner — you might be dealing with an emotionally abusive situation.

Isolation

Abusers need isolation in order to successfully destroy the self-esteem of their partners. For this reason, they work hard to isolate their victims from the activities and people that they love, leaving them rudderless and without help, perspective or guidance in the midst of a very turbulent unravelling. If your partner is keeping you from seeing or contacting your friends and family, then you’re in danger of dissociating from the critical support system that you need.

This article was written by E.B Johnson. Full piece here

Cover Photo: Laci Jordan

Source: Leading Ladies Africa

In Interviews&profile June 24, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

‘I’M A FIRM BELIEVER IN STARTING SMALL AND DREAMING VERY BIG’

Peju Ugboma is the Founder/CEO of I Luv Desserts and also runs a blog, The Service Critic where she reviews restaurants. A graduate of Microbiology from the University of Lagos, she was the Head of Business Strategy at First Independent Global before resigning and setting up her business. Certified from Gastronimicum, Agde and Le Notre in France and The Taste Lab in the United Kingdom, Peju wants to launch a training school for aspiring chefs, baking enthusiasts and home cooks. In this interview, this ardent Manchester United fan talks about dumping Microbiology for dessert making, turning a huge business mistake into a best seller and three things women-owned businesses must do and avoid to stay successful.

Making desserts is a pretty unique concept, what led you down this path?
I cannot honestly tell you why I chose desserts, but it possibly stemmed from watching chefs on TV do amazing stuff with butter, sugar and flour. I would watch on TV and wish there were places locally to buy them. I still remember the first time I went to a store on Awolowo Road in Ikoyi and saw a white forest gateau, I was in cloud nine.

When I started out, I knew only a handful of people who were doing desserts commercially for events back then. There were lots of cake makers but proper desserts connoisseurs weren’t available locally. I knew to be able to do it the way I saw it on TV, I would require at least basic knowledge in basic baking techniques, so I enrolled in a baking school locally for one month and the classes were very hands on. I also bought loads of books to help out. By the end of the first month, I knew I wanted more of the real stuff. I searched locally for a proper culinary school but nothing was available so I had to look outside Nigeria.

You switched from microbiology to dessert making, what informed this decision?
To be honest, Microbiology was never my first choice. I come from a home where daddy’s words were the law. My dad initially wanted me to study Medicine but I didn’t score high enough in JAMB to study it.

Secretly, I was quite pleased, but I dared not show it outwardly. I had just about enough points to study microbiology. If I could have chosen my own course, it most likely would have been the arts. I hated Chemistry and other science subjects.

Peju Ugboma, Founder/CEO of I Luv Desserts and blogger, The Service Critic
When I finished from university, I knew I was not going to do anything with the Microbiology, so I tried my hand at different things but I didn’t find any job exciting enough to keep me occupied till I went to work in a customer service training company.

I loved it enough to stay for a few years before I moved in a completely different direction into learning about business strategy. I learnt very quickly and was fully dedicated to it because I needed to grow up. I eventually got restless there after about two years. My husband (then boyfriend) knew how excited I was watching baking shows on TV, so he always encouraged me to try it out. Then I quit my job and went for my first baking course and 12 years later, I am still at it.

You were once a 9-5 employee for over five years, what would you say is the difference between entrepreneurship and full-time employment?
Entrepreneurship is a full time job, especially when you are a start-up. You eat, drink, sleep and dream your new business.

In my candid opinion, entrepreneurship is way harder because you are responsible for other people’s livelihood. People are dependent on you so you have to strive to make sure things are done properly. If you don’t have a dime for yourself, you must provide for others.

When I started out, I was the baker, cleaner, delivery personnel, phone operator, shopper, everything! When you are in paid employment, you have a job description but with entrepreneurship, you are a one-man army.

In your opinion, what are some of the key issues startups face, especially in Nigeria?
I know you have probably heard funding many times but I disagree. The main issue a lot of startups face is knowledge, the knowledge of how to run and manage a business properly.

You have a business idea, it looks good on paper and we run with it without adequate checks, research and even proper training on know-how. We start, then get stuck and eventually throw in the towel until the next best thing comes along. Access to funds is also another big problem.

I am very anti-get a loan from a bank to start a business, the interest rate will almost cripple whatever you have gathered. I am a firm believer in starting small and dreaming very big. Electricity is also a big problem. I know this is a third world problem but it’s a huge challenge in my line of work.

A large chunk of our generated income goes on power generation. I would also say human power because in my industry, retaining excellent staff who are dedicated to the job with great work ethics are very few and far between. Artisan turnover is quite high.

Your company pioneered frozen cookie dough in West Africa, tell us about that?
The cookie dough project came about when there was some kind of ban on importation of goods into Nigeria. Before then, when you go to the freezer aisle of most supermarkets, there weren’t any locally manufactured brands of cookie dough stocked there. It got me thinking and research started on producing cookie dough locally.

The idea behind the frozen cookie dough was to create convenience and save time for the average home baker whilst still enjoying freshly baked cookies in the convenience of your home. All you need to do is place dough balls on trays and bake for 15 minutes.

The whole process took about 24 months from inception to product testing, sourcing packaging and licensing from NAFDAC. We rolled out and gradually started retailing in stores. We were stocked in about 22 stores in Lagos and Abuja then we hit a brick wall. I think it was largely because we had lapses in our marketing strategy and supply change management.

I am no longer ashamed to say that it failed the first time it launched, it was quite humbling and I refused to talk about it for a while but I have learnt a whole lot from this experience, because this kind of experience, as humbling as it is, helps you build resilience. We are back to drawing board trying to retrace our steps to understand why it didn’t work in the first instance. Hopefully, it will work out better and stay in the market for as long as we have projected it to stay.

How important is mentoring for women especially those in business?
I have often heard women say it was a waste of their time, but in my own case, it was one of the wisest decisions I took. If you are in business, whether man or woman, you need mentoring. It is hard enough running your business solo, with you being the all in one CEO and ‘Jackie’ that does even the most menial of jobs.

Personally, I have benefitted from having a mentor who not only guides me as regards my business but spiritually and even issues regarding the home-front.

When I am asked how I chose a mentor, happenstance, I came across her by accident and I prayed that I was choosing the right person. The first question she asked was “what are you bringing to the table.” I was stunned. When I asked her why she said that, she wanted to know how serious I was about our relationship. I have since nicknamed her iya-aje because of how tough she gets when she needs me to do something.

Tell us something that has influenced your life and career positively today?
It took me a while to figure this out, but life became much easier when I got an understanding of Proverbs 3:5-6. It says trust God with your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will straighten all crooked path before you. As hard it may be, I have chosen to trust Him.

As a member of BTS Welfare Hub, what do you do specifically for women?
BTS Welfare Hub is a faith-based group, it doesn’t cater to just women, but to the needs of the downtrodden. The hub takes care of a range of things like visiting old people’s homes, orphanages, cerebral palsy centers, poor communities and visiting the streets to encourage someone. An average visit to a poor community will include sharing the word, praying with the people in these communities, encouraging and then giving out presents and food.

As a former business strategist, briefly tell us three basic things women must do/avoid when running a business?
First, separate purses; your business account is not your personal account; you should not draw funds from the business account just because you can. I believe you should pay yourself a realistic salary. If the business is unable to pay you a salary, create an IOU, which can possibly go towards your equity in the company, there must be some sort of reimbursement for the work you do.

Second, whilst I believe you shouldn’t hire too soon, I also believe that it is important to delegate so that you don’t burn yourself out. Micromanaging when you delegate is a killer of creativity. You need to prioritize what is important, what can be delegated and what you can afford to put on the back-burner.

Finally, don’t be afraid to make a mistake or be too cautious to take a risk. I know it is not always easy to accept when we assume we have failed at something but it shouldn’t define who we are.

One of my biggest sellers at the moment, the cheesecake popsicle came about as a mistake I made when mixing one of our products. Now I am grateful that it happened, I acknowledge that it’s not all mistakes that have a somewhat happy ending but use whatever mistake as a stepping- stone to better yourself.

If you could influence change, what would you want to do for Nigerian women?
If I could influence change, I would like to start with reorientation, reorientation of the mind, that being a woman is not a limiting factor. I can be anything I want to be if my mind is aligned to it and I am willing to put in the work.

A lot of our parents did some form of damage in us with a limiting mindset, that no matter what we do or achieve, the kitchen is where we will end up as women. I would also love for women to truly support one another, not just using it as a buzzword but also actually bearing one and other up. These are little things we can be deliberate about it.

What do you do to relax? What is your guilty pleasure?
Relaxing is relative nowadays, as an entrepreneur, shutting down, mind body and soul is hard. So the easiest thing for me nowadays is reading and eating out. I also love watching football but nowadays the team I support isn’t doing well so it is a bit of a drag. My absolute guilty pleasure is travelling to new places, learning new cultures and experiencing new culinary adventures.

What should we expect from you in the next five years?
Whenever I am asked this question, I get a bit overwhelmed. Whilst I understand the need to plan for the future, I have learnt to take it one day at a time, planning five years in advance in my books is a wrong pressure trigger.

So I will change from the next five years to tomorrow or in the near future; I want to co-own a properly run internationally certified culinary academy in Nigeria and an online culinary school because that’s where the business world is gearing up to. I pray for sustenance, God’s grace and grit to carry forth.

Source: Tobi Awodipe for Guardian

In Editor's Choice June 22, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MY ENTRY INTO A MALE DOMINATED LAUNDRY BUSINESS MET WITH COLD RECEPTION– ABIMBOLA ODEDINA

A wonderful poet once said ; You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated.” I bet she had Odedina Abimbola in mind.

Bimbo was singlehandedly raised by her hardworking mother who sells foodstuff and charcoal at Ipodo market, Ikeja. She lost her Father at a tender age in 2009, for her growing up was a very challenging experience, she , her mom and younger sister Adepeju had to take refuge in a room and parlour apartment in the ancestral home of her maternal grandfather in Ipodo, Ikeja where she hustled through life to make a living; selling charcoal and taking up different jobs to save towards her education and also support her family. Her story went viral a month ago when she posted her laundry Business on Twitter, a tweet that has now been shared over ten thousand times and reposted on other social media platforms, Giving Bimbo leverage for her business, showing the ripple effect of determination and doggedness and also reminding us of the power of social media. The young budding entrepreneur shares her Inspiring story with me in this interview.

Growing Up

Despite my humble background, I was determined to do what it takes to change my family’s fortune. Immediately after Secondary school, I started taking up several jobs to assist my mother to fend for the family and saving towards sponsoring myself to the university. In 2012, I gained admission into Adekunle Ajasin University Akungba, Akoko to study Business Administration, while in school I made several trips to Lagos to do promotional ushering jobs during weekends and I took up part time jobs during every semester break working with Wrangler as a sales representative at Ikeja Mall, while still studying hard in school, eventually graduating with. ( CGPA) second class degree.

In 2017 after graduation, while waiting to be posted to serve my Fatherland (NYSC). I took up several jobs part time jobs, saved some money to start dealing in charcoal business having learnt the trade from my mother, I started selling in small and large units to food vendors, restaurants around Ikeja axis. But eventually had to quit the trade due to constant pressure to join Charcoal dealers pressure group.

In November 2017, I was posted to Adamawa state for the mandatory NYSC scheme, spent 3weeks in camp for the orientation exercise and eventually redeployed to Ibadan, Oyo state due to insecurity in the North. As a Corps member in Ibadan I was posted to a secondary school where I was to resume 8am and close by 2pm, I decided to look for another part-time job to raise extra money for my upkeep and increase my savings. Lucked smiled on me and I got a sales activation job with British American Tobacco, Ibadan sales unit. There I was required to work between 5pm to 10pm on Tuesday’s to Thursday, 5pm till 2am during the weekends. Though stressful, the pay was good and I was able to save the BAT salary towards starting a business. Eventually, the 3month contract with BAT ended and I had to make a decision on what business to do. As a member of WINNER’s Chapel I’ve always heard Bishop Oyedepo emphasize on the importance of seeking divine direction, so I prayed to God to show me the business to do and miraculously I got divine direction to start a laundry business in a dream.

Thereafter, I had to seek wise counsel from friends and I was directed to see a young man (Mr. Falade Ayomipo Oluwaseun) who also owned a laundry service here in Ibadan. I was told he also started as a Corps member and he was willing to teach me how to start and manage a laundry and dry cleaning shop at an affordable fee. I was able to learn within 3weeks while my PPA was on break. Few days later with the assistance of my Boss, I used all my savings to buy a washing machine, generator, industrial iron and other materials, equipment and items needed to start a Laundry and Dry Cleaning service.

On 10th May 2018, I started business washing 15shirts, 7 trousers and some under wears. Today I’m a proud owner of a booming Laundry business (CRYTALZ EXCLUSIVE CLEANING SERVICES) that is registered with the CAC, I have 4 employees; 2pressers, a washerwoman and a delivery man. On the long run I intend to engage in large scale laundry and dry cleaning service and also perform Janitorial services.

Inspiration behind Crystalz Laundry

Crystalz Laundry was God inspired. During the service year, I did a contract job with Benson and Hedges Ibadan sales unit. I was required to work between 5pm to 10pm on Tuesday’s to Thursday, 5pm till 2am during the weekends. Though stressful, the pay was good and I was able to save my salary towards starting a business. When the contract job ended. I had to make a decision on what business to do. I prayed to God to show me the business to do and miraculously I got divine direction to start a laundry business in a dream.

What inspired me to advertise my business on Twitter

A friend of mine (Juba Adeola) told me about how Twitter has helped many entrepreneurs (e.g Dolapo shawarma) increase sales at no cost. He suggested we take professional pictures of me at work, summarize my story while tagging Influencer’s and praying to God to help make the post go viral. And it did go viral by God’s grace.

Reception since I started Crystalz Laundry

My entry into a male dominated laundry business met with cold reception from family members, friends and many others. Some people even advised I do something more “Womanly” though my strong resolve and determination made many change their mind. My choice of business still baffles a lot of people till today

My vision

Crytalz Exclusive Cleaning Services is registered with the CAC. On the long run I intend to engage in large scale laundry and dry cleaning service and also perform Janitorial services. So far, I have trained and assisted 2 people to set up their laundry business. I have a vision to periodically organise skills acquisition training and empowerment programs for people with a major focus on women. I may also diversify my business based on the ever changing business environment.

Challenges

Unstable power supply, I spend a large amount of money on petrol monthly. I use a motorcycle rider to do my delivery and we have survived 2 terrible accidents. The unstable cost of buying materials is also an issue. Getting new customers usually require extra effort.

On giving up

I had a rethink after I survived 2 terrible accidents in the course of doing pick up and delivery. The scars are still visible on my body but I eventually overcame my worry and resolved not to give up

Being a Woman of Rubies

My strong determination to succeed. I sponsored myself to the university. As an undergraduate in Adekunle Ajasin University Akungba, I made several trips to Lagos to do promotional ushering jobs during weekends. I took up part time jobs during every semester break/strike working with Wrangler as a sales representative at Ikeja Mall. Before going for NYSC, I did charcoal business but had to quit due to pressure and debt. Despite all odds, I’m self-employed, an employee of labour and my story has inspired many.

Advice for women who want to go into the laundry business

The business world is not the exclusive domain of men, women have what it takes to own, run and manage businesses. What is required is a determination backed by a strong resolve to succeed in your chosen field; despite the odds and the heavy burden society has placed on women.

Connect with us

Esther Ijewere

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YEWANDE MARQUIS: HOW DO YOU STUNT FOR THE ‘GRAM BUT STILL KEEP IT REAL?

SUBTLE SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE YOU MIGHT BE OVERLOOKING

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE?

WHAT AN EMOTIONAL ABUSER LOOKS LIKE.

THE SUBTLE SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE YOU MIGHT BE OVERLOOKING.

Opposing

Denying

Blocking

Undermining & interrupting

Minimization

Unreachable expectations

Walking on eggshells

Isolation

‘I’M A FIRM BELIEVER IN STARTING SMALL AND DREAMING VERY BIG’

MY ENTRY INTO A MALE DOMINATED LAUNDRY BUSINESS MET WITH COLD RECEPTION– ABIMBOLA ODEDINA

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