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Esther Ijewere

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“THE PERSON YOU MARRY HAS THE ABILITY TO MAKE OR DISRUPT YOUR JOURNEY”- AMAKA CHIBUZO-OBI

They say Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds the true friend in his wife. This is one of things Amaka Chibuzo-Obi’s organization wivesroundtable advocates for.

An  organisation dedicated to using media to empower women with valuable information, tools and resources to help them live wholesomely.

Amaka who is also the founder of The Wivesroundtable Foundation ; dedicated to improving the lives of indigent, low income women in her community, using entrepreneurship and education, is also an NLP and results certified coach, a Family Life practitioner and a certified Positive Psychology practitioner.

A graduate of Computer Science from the University of Calabar with an MBA from Lagos State University, Amaka Chibuzo-Obi is passionate about women development and empowerment having coached many women to fulfill their dreams. The beautiful wife and mom of three is also an event compere, having hosted many high brow events with glowing testimonials

Childhood Influence

I had an interesting life growing up. I was an only child to a woman who was mother to many. My mom was that woman who opened her doors and her heart to everyone who needed help. I saw generosity, empathy and the desire to make a difference, first hand in my mother. She died when I was just 8 years old (God keep resting her beautiful soul) So growing up, I always knew I wanted to change people’s lives for good. I had no idea how, what path I will take or what vehicle will lead me there but I just knew I was going to do something that will cause major impact in lives and in my world.  Even though I battled low self-esteem and acute shyness at one point in my life, this desire to positively affect my world helped me overcome all that and keep the focus. So yes, my childhood kind of prepared me for what I do now.

Inspiration behind  Wivesroundtable franchise

Like I said, I had always wanted to make a mark in my world, to positively affect lives and impact people. I just didn’t know how. I grew up watching Oprah Winfrey and loved how she used media to make a difference. I wanted to be like her. I dreamed I would one day rule the screens like Oprah. I kept that dream in the coolers as I faced the realities of life. After youth service, I came to Lagos in search of a better life. I took up a job in a media independent agency. In the years I worked there, I got married. I remember coming back from that break after the wedding to my colleagues who warmly welcomed me, especially the married ones. Shouts of “welcome to the club” filled the air. One welcome actually played a huge part in changing the trajectory of my life. A good friend (or so I thought), someone with whom I had shared so many things in confidence, walked up and after welcoming me, she said “Ehen, Amaka, now I can really talk to you. Because now you are married, you will understand me better”. This got me thinking deeply. I realized 2 very important things as I thought about this remark. (1) That married women felt more comfortable discussing with other married women on issues important to them (2) That married women didn’t have a lot of avenues to vent. So, years later, in 2011, Wivesroundtable was created. And it started as an online platform for married women to anonymously relate with one another, share their stories, experiences, concerns and challenges and get suggestions and encouragement from each other. This later morphed into the Wivesroundtable radio show which started airing every Thursday evening 8pm on 92.3 Inspiration FM Lagos in April 2013.

To further meet our objective of being an agent of positive change in the lives of women, The Wivesroundtable Foundation was born in 2019. This foundation’s objective is to empower poor and vulnerable women through entrepreneurship and financial literacy. We set them up in business and then train them for several months after, so they can learn the basic skills required to effectively and successfully run their businesses

Being  a certified computer scientist, but tilting my tent in the Coaching sector

Let me be very honest with you, when I filled in “Computer science” on my JAMB form back in the day, even I knew that I wasn’t going to go on that path! I only did the sciences to prove to my father that he had an intelligent daughter. LOL. You know how it was back then with the science Vs Arts dichotomy. Because of my desire to directly and intimately affect people’s lives positively, especially women, coaching was the most logical way to go. So, after I had satisfied myself in the paid employment industry and left to start Wivesroundtable, I started empowering myself with knowledge, courses and certifications that will help me be a coach that will hold women’s hands on their way to a life of well-being

Being  a certified coach, family life practitioner, Positive psychology practitioner, radio host, women’s advocate, wife and mom, and managing it all

Two words – Intentional living and Support. I tell people, women especially that I don’t claim to be super woman or super mom o. I do what I can, when I can. I prioritize per time. I don’t entertain guilt that will cause me to ignore myself and my needs in the scheme of things. I remind myself daily that, I matter too. That my goals and dreams matter. I look for, pray for and get capable hands to support me on my journey. My husband is also incredibly amazing and highly supportive. He allows me space to fly while he fans the wind beneath my sail. Every woman deserves to have support and should also be open to utilize the ones they have, so they can go for and achieve their dreams. Also, God has been super faithful and gracious. He has given me the Grace, Strength and Courage to do all these.

Wivesroundtable Radioshow

The Wivesroundtable radio show which started airing on Thursday April 11th 2013 has aired 339 episodes as at Thursday 28th November 2019. In this time, it reaches an approximate 180,000 people every single week in and around Lagos! The Wivesroundtable radio show has changed people’s mindset and beliefs about themselves and their relationships. We receive emails very frequently from fans of the radio show who just write in to appreciate us for the work we do. More than 15 women have gotten their fertility issues resolved from information and resources gotten on the Wivesroundtable show! Numerous marriages have been restored and businesses set on the path to success. The Wivesroundtable radio show has, in various major ways, been a catalyst for positive growth and development in the lives of numerous people.

Challenges of being a Social Entrepreneur

There are many issues facing us at Wivesroundtable, top of which is the issue of Finance. The business terrain in Nigeria is a very peculiar one. There are many jobs we do for advertisers where payment gets delayed for as much as a year! Also, financial support is a crippling challenge in our work with The Wivesroundtable Foundation. Raising funds to empower the women is a herculean task – people who wish to support usually have little means and those with the wherewithal most times ignore the call. In spite of all these challenges, we still push through because we know what our goal is and we do not desire to stop anywhere short of it.

My thoughts on Society’s  perception of women who don’t conform to pressure to marry at a certain age?

The society is changing gradually but surely. We live in a society where marriage is a big deal. From when a girl is born, the prayers for her getting a good husband and beautiful children starts. So, you can imagine the shock when said girl gets to a certain age and isn’t yet married. Society kind of gets disappointed and tries to shame her into getting married. This is actually very ridiculous because marriage is just one of the very many things humans do on earth. If a woman chooses not to, it’s her life and therefore, her prerogative. I am glad that the narrative is changing. More and more people are refusing to be cowered into taking a major decision such as getting married just because society wants them to. More and more people are taking control. One thing I know is that, society will find a way to adapt as the narratives continues to change (it always does) so women should keep standing up for their rights.

Being a Woman of Rubies

My empathy, my strength, my resolve to make a positive difference and my resilience to not give up all make me a bona-fide woman of rubies!

Final word for Women, especially wives who are finding it hard to have a work life balance.

Know yourself and the dynamics of your life. Utilize every resource available to you. Remind yourself daily that you matter too. Don’t be shy or afraid to speak up and ask for help when needed, especially when speaking up has the potential to favor you. Know yourself well enough to know your path and love yourself enough to follow it doggedly.

Nuggets for singles and Married, especially the newly weds

Let me start with the singles – Realize that the person you marry has the ability to make or disrupt your journey so open your eyes wide when dating. TALK! Talk about all areas of life, so you can have an idea of how the person reasons and how he/she sees life. Ask relevant questions. Ensure that your goals and dreams are in alignment or at least, that the other person is not opposed to yours.

Then for the newlyweds, realize that the butterflies in the tummy will settle sooner or later. This doesn’t mean you have fallen out of love. It just means that the journey has started in earnest. From there on out, what will keep you both will be a firm commitment to and mutual respect of each other. See yourselves as a team – much like Arsenal and Liverpool. Teams score together, win together and celebrate together. They also lose together if they do not prepare or perform well. When you realize that it is TOGETHER not INDIVIDUAL, you will take the other person’s matter like yours and help each other be better versions of yourselves. Be kind. Be considerate. Be open. Practice effective communication. Learn it, if need be. Develop yourself inside marriage. Do not take your marriage for granted. Work on it like you do for every other thing of importance in your life. Your marriage is worth it. You are worth it.

On a last note…

I coach women how to create Balance in their lives so they can effectively play the different roles they have and still live a life of well-being and harmony. My mantra is “Creating a better world one woman at a time” (which is also the payoff line for the Wivesroundtable Foundation) and I do at least one thing every day to achieve this. It is my desire to affect the lives of women in Nigeria and beyond. Some people say “Women have so many initiatives for them. Isn’t it too much?” I always reply “It isn’t nearly enough!”

Women deserve every single initiative directed at empowering them. After centuries of being marginalized, discriminated against and belittled, women need all the help they can get to get on their feet, drag a chair and sit at the table! A world where women aren’t afraid to be and do all they want to do; is a world I dream to see. That is what I work to achieve! You can find out more about what we do at our website www.wivesroundtable.com.ng. My name is Amaka Chibuzo-Obi and I am proud to be a woman!

 

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#RUBYGIRLS| “TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR LIFE AND CHOICES”- OMOOBAJESU ADETUNJI

OmoobaJesu Adetunji is a fourth year medical student at Ladoke Akintola University. She is an outstanding writer who owns her own lifestyle blog where shares bits and pieces of diverse shades of her life in order to inspire her readers. She is passionate about reading, education, health and good living.

Let’s meet you

I’m OmoobaJesu Adetunji. Yes, OmoobaJesu is my real name, birth certificate and all. I’m a 4th year medical student at LAUTECH. I enjoy reading and writing which is one of the major reasons why I run a blog (www.omoobaadetunji.com) where I share bits and pieces of my life with the hopes of encouraging someone else. I care deeply about education, health and good living.

What are your hobbies

I love to laugh! So naturally, I enjoy the company of family and friends as well as good music, movies, and books.

Who and what inspires you

Inspiration for me comes in different forms and from everywhere. I could be walking on the street and be inspired. I could be gisting with my friend and be inspired. I could be in church and be inspired. I think for me, it’s more about letting myself be inspired through every circumstance rather than searching for inspiration.

One accessory you can’t leave home without.

Earrings! I love my earrings.

 You are a medical student yet you own a blog where you write on diverse life principles, lessons and genres. How do you keep up with your several interests and fortes?

Good question. The truth is I don’t know. I just take one day at a time. And I don’t really compartmentalise my life as such. I see it all as a continuum which I must enjoy and stretch to its fullest potential. I also think every aspect of my life helps each other out. Writing helps me be a better student because it makes me happy. Medicine helps me be a better writer because it gives me something to write about. So I don’t particularly feel a need to balance because they all help me to be better. I just go with the flow, one step and a time. And if I notice a tilt I adjust. I know this process seems a little bizarre and wild, but it works for me and it gives me peace of mind.

Your best quote?

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

What is that one thing you’ll like to change about yourself?

I really like myself. Is that weird? Maybe, but I can’t think of anything I’d like to change. Except maybe in the area of things to improve on, because there’s always room for improvement. On that note, I would be interested in improving on whatever needs to be improved on per time. For now, to be honest I can’t think of anything.

What was growing up for you like? And did your childhood in any way prepare you for everything you do now?

Growing up was pretty great for me. I used to be very introverted when I was younger so I suffered many depressive episode but I’m happier and lighter now. I love being all grown up. I’m not one of those people that wish they were children again. No, thanks. I like being an adult.

As a child I was always surrounded by books. My dad was a librarian and he loved reading. We had a library in our home and I’ve been reading since I can remember. It was normal to read. It was default mode. I can’t remember when exactly I started writing, but I remember that my essays were always the best in school. There was a time when my English teacher read my eassy out loud in class as an example of how essays should be written. That’s one moment that cannot be easily forgotten.

Now that I think about it, my mom used to give me writing assignments throughout one particular summer break in primary school. That’s when I got really good at writing. Wow. Thank God for my mom! And dad! Awesome people.

Your biggest fear.

I don’t have fears. God has come through for me way too many times for me to be afraid about anything. I’m just relaxed, I have everything that I need to succeed. And I am grateful to God.

The journal of the Ladoke Akintola University Medical Student’s Association (LAUMED): The Girl Child was recently launched in which you played a very active role. What does this journal mean to you as a girl child? And what does it intend to drive home to all young females and the society at large?

The Girl Child Journal to me personally, addresses issues that are exclusive to the female gender while also not completely shunning the Male child. The balance or interplay between the sexes is particularly interesting and important to me because often times the men are ignored, yet we will still as women have to interact with males on an intimate level. I believe there’s a need for education and empowerment of both sexes and the Journal did justice to that, that made me glad.

The Journal is for every girl child, to remind her of her value and importance in her environment. To show her that all that she wants to be, she can be, regardless of the limitations that society might place on her.

 If given the chance to be the president of Nigeria for a day, what will you change?

Oh interesting. Two things. Definitely pump all the money I can get my hands on, into the education and health sector. Yup. That’s all and I’m good.

 Where do you see yourself/your brand in the next five years?

In five years, I see myself reaching millions through my writing or/and through other frontiers and as always helping people live their best lives.

 If you were given the opportunity to address a group of girls five years younger than you, what will be your advice to them?

You are beautiful just the way you are. Get to know yourself. Get to love yourself. Begin a real and intimate relationship with God. Be rooted in who you are. Don’t let anyone make you feel any less. Take responsibility for your life and own your choices. And always, keep moving, don’t give up!

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FUNKE AKINDELE-BELLO TALKS DIRECTING FOR THE FIRST TIME ON VANGUARD ALLURE’S LATEST ISSUE

Funke Akindele Bello is the cover star of this week’s Vanguard Allure.

The award-winning Nollywood actor, producer and now director of EbonyLife Films‘ ‘Your Excellency‘ talks about growing up with strict parents; her big break; how she stumbled into playing the character, ‘Jenifa’; challenges that came with directing a feature film; her admiration for Mo Abudu; and positively impacting the lives of young people by creating platforms for them to excel.

Looking beautiful in these never-before-seen Emmanuel Oyeleke photos, we see a new side to Funke Akindele Bello.

Vanguard Allure hits the stands this Sunday, December 8, to herald the worldwide premiere of ‘Your Excellency‘ holding in Lagos.

Grab your copy now!

Photo Credit:
Creative Director: @nellymesik
Photography: @emmanueloyeleke
Hair: @dvreloaded
Makeup: @radiezbyeve
Styling: @medlinboss

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CHINEZE AINA: HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IN THE OFFICE WITHOUT HURTING ANYONE’S FEELINGS

Ambitious women are terrifying… especially to men who do not like women that stand up for themselves. To survive, women have had to find non-threatening workplace coping mechanisms that may not guarantee them career longevity and confidence but helps as they navigate the murky waters of workplace politics.

While we all know that not every workplace is toxic, opaque or political, many women admit to feeling unappreciated and otherness at work because of their gender.

Lois P. Frankel, in her book ‘Nice Girls  Still Don’t Get the Corner Office’, explains that if you work nonstop without a break, worry about offending others and back down too easily, explain too much when asked for information or “poll” your friends and colleagues before making a decision, chances are that you’ve been bypassed for promotions and ignored when you expressed your ideas. Women have now learned to communicate differently to attain inclusion. Temi, Supply Chain Manager with a pharmaceutical company, tells me: “last week, I came out of a meeting feeling over-competent and like I offended people”.

I have put together a survival guide that women can use to accomplish their goals, succeed in their careers and become leaders, without wounding the smashable male ego.

Protect the ego

Many women imagine their male colleagues see them as equal, but over the years, we have come to realize that deference is what most men want. Many cannot separate a female colleague from a subservient wife. Both, to them, are the same. Some years ago, I was told to resume at a location that will more than double my travel time daily. I was pregnant and I felt it was ludicrous, but I opted not to call the ‘boss’ or discuss it with his many loyalists. This didn’t help as the right thing to have done was to have started making calls and apologizing for real and imagined wrongs. He invited me for a meeting and told me there was an ego attached to his office and my silence was disrespectful.

Apologize for everything

An apology is a proven tactic for softening hard stances. Apologize before discussing an idea, requesting feedback or expressing a contrary opinion. Start with something like this ‘I know this sounds foolish, but I have an idea…’ Also, reticence is key when addressing sensitive topics. Another instance is, instead of saying ‘these numbers are wrong’ say ‘I am sorry, are these numbers right? I am not a numbers person’, then follow it with a self-deprecating laugh. Even when you know the numbers are clearly wrong, you will get the man to look at the numbers again without calling out his mistake and again, dearest ego will not be bruised. You can even take the fall for his mistake.

Do not be too assertive

There was this time a friend raised an issue at a town hall meeting at her workplace. She spoke up because she assumed that was the platform to talk. This point she mentioned got the CEOs attention and the director involved was asked to explain publicly. When she finished talking, everyone in the room was looking at her like she developed a third eye. Minutes before, a male colleague had spoken and his protestations were greeted with a round of applause, people nodding and whispering about his no-nonsense attitude. Gingered, she had stood up too. Well, let us just say she didn’t receive the support she imagined; her speech was greeted with a mixture of pity from her friends and disgust from does who did not know her. Though the incident sparked conversations and influenced how her organization executed projects from then on, it didn’t bring her much peace.

Have more male work buddies

Many times, in a bid to be seen as a serious woman, you will have to do your best to prove that you are one of the guys. Distance yourself from women, especially the not-too-popular women, the ones who get pregnant three times in two years and always have excuses to care for the family. If this involves disparaging other women and being totally inhumane, then do it.

Hesitance and a lack of confidence wins

Adopt wishy-washy language that makes you appear hesitant and unsure on purpose. Words like, ‘could’, ‘maybe’, ‘I don’t know’, ‘permit me to check with my boss’ and other phrases that demonstrate that you don’t want to take a stand is a winner any day. Instead of saying “I have an idea”, say “I am just thinking out loud here”. Being confident could see you being termed as a ball breaker. Many like it when you act a little like you could drown in a 2-feet pool without them and have fewer opinions.

Sleep with one or two bosses

This is extreme and a form of self-flagellation, but it helps to make you appear not so bright after all. We all know how much people look for ways to take the shine off a woman’s achievement by mentioning a scandalous affair or an influential lover. I remember admiring a woman during my internship days at one of the banks. She was clearly shrewd and attractive. One day, I mentioned to one of my male colleagues how I loved her self-confidence. He snickered as he told me her confidence came from sleeping with the boys who wear the ‘pants’ in this organization’ and he was excited to tell me more. Telling me she achieved so much, not just because she had big brains, gave him a certain satisfaction. Even when I mentioned her initiatives and achievement, he brushed them off, adding that she wasn’t better than anyone else.

Use lots of emoji and exclamation marks

Women, including myself, always feel the need to be charming and nice when sending emails, talking to male colleagues or requesting for updates. The high unemployment rate has forced men to respect the office, not necessarily the woman. However, your entry barrier to the ‘favourite club is sweetness and coyness to all men. It is very important for women to work hard but not come across as abrasive in their interactions with men. This is especially important relating to men who used to be your peers and now your subordinate. Even if your need for approval ends up hurting your leadership, it’s a small price to pay.

Collaborate more with men
Do you need something done? Ask a capable male colleague to help get it done. Make sure you emphasize the fact that you want a man to do it because they can be trusted with speed and combativeness.

You need a promotion or are interested in a project? Ask a male superior or peer to ask on your behalf. You have to show that you are not too ambitious at all times and you like men.

Never call out a man

Stella’s boss was doing his best to get into her pants and deliberately under-appreciating her efforts when it became obvious she was never going to let him. He’ll nitpick on her work, spell out every error and when she got something right he would pretend not to notice. After he tried to rape her and she managed to escape, she knew she had to report him to HR. Stella is not the only one he has been harassing in the department and she banked on the other ladies coming forward so she sent an email to human resources detailing her experience with him. Nothing came out of it because their HR was already compromised. The other women refused to come forward as well.  In the end, he got a slap in the wrist for being mildly inappropriate towards her. Calling out his behaviour did not do much to endear her to the team.

Pretend to be not too smart

When a male colleague is telling you something you already know, pretend you do not know it. An example is:

“Chichi do you know how to use excel for data analytics?”

“No, I don’t. Please will you teach me, I have so much to learn from you’. She replied.

Chichi runs an online training school on weekends teaching people data analytics. But you see, Chichi doesn’t want Mr. Oga to think she knows too much, so she plays dumb.

In her book How to Succeed Without Hurting men’s Feelings, Sarah Cooper summarised:  ‘The unspoken rules of how women should behave in the office are as numerous as they are confusing. Ask for a pay rise? Pushy. Take credit for an idea? Arrogant. Admit a mistake? Weak. Successfully juggle work and family? Unpromotable.’ 

You choose: succeed with a few enemies along the way or spend so much time trying to be liked by everyone? What are your thoughts?

Editor’s note: We know ordinarily we shouldn’t have to say this, but after much deliberation we decided it’s best to put it out there – front and center. We don’t want people getting annoyed needlessly. 

This is a tongue-in-piece cheek… or is it tongue-in-cheek piece?

We hope you enjoy this as much as we did. We believe there are notable take away points therein.

About Author

Chineze lives in Lagos with her husband and their 3 young children. She loves good food and good people. You can follow her on twitter @ChinezeAnuli and Instagram @chinezeaina

Source: Bellanaija

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FINLAND’S SANNA MARIN BECOMES YOUNGEST SERVING PRIME MINISTER IN THE WORLD

34-year-old Sanna Marin has been named the next prime minister of Finland, after the former transportation minister was elected by her party Social Democrats to the post of the PM on Sunday.

According to The Guardian, Sanna Marin, who is expected to take the oath of her office this week, will become one of the world’s youngest state leaders, and she will also be the youngest head of government in Finland’s history.

Finland’s transportation minister Sanna Marin was selected by her Social Democratic party on December 8 to become the country’s youngest prime minister ever.

Her appointment comes after Antti Rinne resigned on Tuesday, after a party in the coalition said it had lost confidence in him following his handling of a postal strike.

Photo Credit: @marinsanna

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NIGERIA’S OLUTOSIN ARAROMI MADE TOP 20 LIST AT THE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT

MBGN Universe, Olutosin Araromi, was definitely one to watch out for at this year’s Miss Universe beauty pageant, and this she proved by placing among the top 20 out of 90 contestants.

Olutosin competed alongside 90 other ladies at the Tyler Perry Studios in Atlanta, Georgia, at the event which saw South Africa’s Zozibini Tunzi getting crowned as the 68th Miss Universe.

Tosin’s general charisma, poise and intelligence made it possible for her to place as a finalist, which is interestingly the first time in many years a Nigerian will place at the top spot.

When it was Olutosin’s turn to say something about herself, the 25-year-old public speaker who tragically lost her mum during the 2019 MBGN pageant, mentioned that the death of her mom has taught her perseverance and she uses her story to inspire and uplift youths.

Here are the top 20 contestants below:

Nigeria – Olutosin Araromi

South Africa – Zozibini Tunzi (WINNER)

Vietnam – Hoàng Thùy

Indonesia – Frederika Alexis Cull (Top 10)

Thailand – Paweensuda Drouin (Top 5)

Albania – Cindy Marina

Colombia – Gabriela Tafur (Top 5)

Brazil – Julia Horta

India – Vartika Singh

Venezuela – Thalia Olvino

The Philippines – Gazini Ganados

USA – Cheslie Kryst (Top 10)

Mexico – Sofía Aragón (Top 3)

The Dominican Republic – Clauvid Daly

Peru – Kelin Rivera

Puerto Rico – Madison Anderson

Portugal – Sylvie Silvia

Croatia – Mia Rkman

Iceland – Birta Abiba Þórhallsdóttir

France – Maëva Coucke

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MISS UNIVERSE JUST CROWNED THE FIRST BLACK SOUTH AFRICAN WINNER – ALL HAIL BLACK WOMEN!

Miss South Africa was just crowned Miss Universe! Zozibini Tunzi, 26, stood out from 90 other women, and made history as the first Black South African to win the title.

According to her contest biography, Tunzi is an activist who has devoted herself to fighting gender based violence and changing the narrative around gender stereotypes. She is also an advocate for natural beauty.

In her last response Tunzi emphasized what it was like growing up and her hopes for the next generation.

 “I grew up in a world where a woman who looks like me, with my kind of skin and my kind of hair, was never considered to be beautiful.” She continued, “I think it is time that that stops today. I want children to look at me and see my face and I want them to see their faces reflected in mine.”

Tunzi is now a part of the history making Black beauty queens as she joins Miss USA, Miss Teen USA and Miss America. It is the first time all pageants have crowned a Black woman in the same year.

The pageant was held at Tyler Perry’s studios in Atlanta, GA. 

Congratulations Zozibini!

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AISHA SALEH: AN UNSTOPPEABLE STAR OUT OF A LAGOS SLUM

* Her dream to represent Nigeria at an international children’s conference was dashed by immigration officers in Lagos but she has not given up hope. Nicknamed by some as ‘Nigerian’s Malala’.

From the most unlikely places and amidst the darkest odds, stars keep emerging on the Nigerian horizon. One of them is 14-year-old Aisha Saleh who is currently making waves following the alleged frustration of her efforts to represent Nigeria at the International Children’s Conference in Geneva, Switzerland hosted by the United Nations recently (commemorating the 30th anniversary of the UN’s Convention on the Rights of the Child).

Aisha was born in Lagos on December 21, 2005 ago to petty trader Zainab Saleh and taxi driver Saleh Mohammed. At age seven, she lost her mother thus she and her younger brother Mohammed moved in to live with her grandmother in Monkey Village, a very impoverished neighourhood sited in a valley off the highbrow Allen Avenue in Lagos.

But the dark circumstances of her childhood and surrounding environment have not deterred Aisha from shining like a luminous star. Well known among her peers, school mates and teachers as an academic genius, Aisha spent only four years in primary school as against six as she was promoted twice.  Right from her nursery and primary school at Opebi Primary School in Lagos, and currently in Junior Secondary School Three at Opebi Grammar School, also in Lagos, Aisha consistently takes first position in her class. Her eloquent and apt answers to questions and her unusual intellectual depth continue to outstand her teachers and school mates alike.

A polyglot, from age 10, she was already speaking five languages including English, Arabic, Hausa, Yoruba and Egun. Aisha who is talented in arts and designs, hopes to become a lawyer in the future in order to  bring justice to oppressed children and people in general as she witnesses in her neighbourhood all the time.

In 2016, at age 11, the Centre for Children’s Health Education, Orientation and Protection (CEE-HOPE), a child’s rights and development non-profit, started work in her community, engaging the children, starting an educational empowerment program and mentoring the children about their rights among others.

CEE-HOPE also started the Girls-Go-for-Greatness (Triple G) club and after discovering Aisha, made her the community coordinator of Triple G and also community librarian. Aisha currently helps to enlighten the children in Monkey Village about their educational and human rights, educates parents against marrying off their girl children (as child marriages and teenage prostitutions are rife among the Lagos’ urban poor and impoverished neighborhoods). She also gives out books to fellow children. Besides she enlightens the guardians in her neighbourhoods originating from neighbouring countries about the criminality of not sending their wards to school but using children as young as five as househelps.

Aisha also helps to coordinate children and teach toddlers during CEE-HOPE’s annual summer school program in the community.

At CEE-HOPE’s events both within and outside her community, Aisha shines brightly with her performances and scholarly contributions.

Since 2016, CEE-HOPE enrolled Aisha on its girl educational scholarship program to help her realise her educational dreams. In the past she was also awarded scholarship by The Women’s Helping Hands Initiative (TWHHI), an initiative of Mrs. Dolapo Osinbajo (wife of the current vice president of Nigeria which works with underprivileged children in Lagos.

Betty Abah, founder of CEE-HOPE which works with children in slum communities and beyond, describes Aisha as ‘a clear-cut genius, an unstoppable meter and one of our biggest discoveries.’

Aisha recently spoke on her botched trip to Switzerland, her activism in her community and future aspirations.

Childhood Influence

I was living with my parents and younger brother. But then, when I was seven, I lost my mum. We had to come and live with my grandmother in Monkey Village, a slum area in Opebi, Ikeja, Lagos State. My grandmother took care of us until I started primary school. I performed excellently in primary school and as a result was given double promotion so I spent four years in primary school. CEE-HOPE discovered me in 2016 in Monkey Village and since then, I was made a child right’s defender and volunteer of CEE-HOPE. My childhood didn’t prepare me in any way for what I do now because we were poor and, living in such an area, it was all impossible. But God has sent CEE-HOPE to be helpers to me. I thank God because I know nothing is impossible when God says yes.

 

My  inspiring work at Monkey village

Some of my inspiring work that I do at Monkey Village are: I am the leader of the girls’ club in my community; I am also the community librarian and  I teach the toddlers in the community during my free hours and during CEE-HOPE’s summer school program. In addition, I talk to parents to send their children to school and not to marry them off early. My desire is for everybody to acquire a good education.

Breaking boundaries at 14, being an agent of change  and adding value to the society

For me to be an agent of change to my society, am very happy and I know one day I won’t only an agent of change to immediate community or my society but to the world at large.

My Impactful work with CEE-HOPE

 

Okay, I have been working with CEE-HOPE since 2016 when they came into my community. That time, most of the children here were not in school. After they organised three weeks of summer school with us and donated school materials and put some of us the girls on scholarship, things improved. I think more than 90% of the children are now in school. We also don’t have child marriages here like that again. Also, the books given to me as Librarian, I borrow the children and many of them are now interested in reading. Some of them have read more than 10 books and they keep asking for more. I also coordinate them to go for computer lessons at CEE-HOPE office in Ogba. I also believe that many of the parents want their children to be like me so that can be selected to travel abroad too. Also, because of what happened, many people now know about Monkey Village. So I believe that I am a good ambassador for my community and I believe that better things will come for us. Some people even call me Malala of Money Village

Barred from travelling because of immigration issues

At first, I was excited when I heard that I would be traveling to Switzerland to attend the child’s right convention anniversary where I was going to meet stakeholders, other teenagers like me and big celebrities. It took us three weeks to get the international passport. The passport office people at Ikoyi were asking for different kinds of documents and we were going back and forth to get the (documents). I was missing school because of that but the people at the passport office kept delaying until I missed my trip. They said it was a lie that I was about to be trafficked and they set up a panel to investigate us, and even with all the letters and documents from the organizer in Switzerland, from Amnesty International in Abuja, from CEE-HOPE, my school results showing that I always take position, they refused. It was when one big woman called another big man in Abuja, and the passport was produced in one day and the PCO personally gave me. My father’s own was produced in two days (because he was to travel with me). When we got to Abuja, the Embassy of Switzerland said it was too late to give us visa and my father and I just returned to Lagos very sad. All through the flight I couldn’t eat or talk. But I know Almighty Allah will guide me through. More opportunities will surely come.

Dear President Buhari…

I will like to say the President of Nigeria should talk to the people at the passport office that they should never look down on anybody because they were once like that before they became who they are today. I know they did that to me because they saw that me and my father are poor. In those three weeks, I saw many people bringing their children, even small babies to get international passports for them and none of those people were stopped or investigated. Apart from my case, I am sad because they must have done that to so many other poor people who could not even talk to journalists just like I did and their dreams were killed by these same people. It is very wrong and the president should stop them.

Knowing there are people out there rooting for me

Yes, I am aware my story has gone viral, I read some of the reports and I feel happy and I really appreciate knowing there are people out there rooting for me.

Being a Ruby Girl

My outstanding academic performance and work with fellow children in my community.

Dear marginalised teenagers striving to be better…

My advice to the teenagers out there striving to be better is that there should not be discouraged or join bad groups. They should read their books and avoid bad habits that may damage their lives and future. Our dreams are bigger than our present environment and one day, things will be better especially if they face their studies well. May God guide us through.

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#RUBYGIRLS| “I AM INSPIRED BY ACHIEVERS”- OLUWATOMILOLA ANJOORIN

Oluwatomilola Anjoorin is the first child in a family of six. She hails from Ekiti. She is a graduate of Biochemistry from Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH). She is the CEO of Miel Creations where she creates amazing delicacies.

Let’s meet you. Who is Oluwatomilola ?

I am Oluwatomilola Anjoorin, the first child and only daughter in a family of six. I am an indigene of Ekiti, but based in Lagos. I am a graduate of Biochemistry from Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH). I own Miel Creations where I make mouth watering cakes.

What are your hobbies?

Reading, traveling, surfing the net and singing.

Who and what inspires you?

I am inspired by achievers, no name in particular, people that despite all odds pull themselves out of difficult situations and stands high such as Oprah Winfrey.

What is your biggest fear?

Being financially and spiritually poor, wrong marriage, not touching lives before I leave the Earth.

With different people joining the baking world, how have you been able to step up your games? Do you think the profession is growing well in Nigeria and worth making sacrifices for?

It is important to note that no matter how much you climb, someone will always be ahead of you, it’s fine.
And, yes, I ensure I attend seminars, keep myself updated by reading and surfing the web, follow the trend WISELY. Well, yes, it is evident in the fact that the almighty cake boss, Buddy, visited Nigeria some months back. My business,my brand,my profession is worth making sacrifices for.

Your best quote?

You won’t always be right, your opinion is not the truth.

What is that one thing you’ll like to change about yourself?

My butts, I’d like to have a bigger butt. On a more seriously note, I’d like to change the way I over think issues.

What keeps you up at night?

Thoughts on how to be a better woman, my dreams and how to achieve them.

If given the chance to be the President of Nigeria for a day, what will you change?

NYSC being scrapped. Ensuring all varsity students learn a skill, give total allowance to fresh graduate to start their businesses.

Where do you see yourself and your brand in the next 5 years?

Myself happily married with kids. My business/brand very well established, having strong holds in different states and it must be able to run independently. Own a big restaurant, be a counsellor/guardian to young girls.

How have you been able to combine being a biochemist and a baker together?

One thing has bowed for the other, I am a full time baker/Event planner for now.

 What is your major challenge so far and how have you been able to deal with it?

Well, I’d say social media awareness/marketing, I try to be better, while surfing the web, I try to focus on things that are more important.

 If you were given the opportunity to address a group of girls five years younger than you? What will be your advice to them?

Know God from your early years, if you’ve missed it before, find your path.
That you’ve failed once, twice, three times, doesn’t mean you can’t start all over again.
Pressures will come, it’ll always be there, focus.
Don’t be so marriage conscious, you tend forget to enjoy your single state that way.
God will bless the works of thy hand, the Bible says,sister,what is in thy hand?

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OYINKANSOLA ALABI BIRTHS NEW INITIATIVE “NEGOTIATIONS”

Have you ever lost a deal to someone less qualified? Have investors walked out on you because you didn’t sound convincing? Have you tried recovering your funds from debtors to no avail? Do you desire to mend broken business relationships before 2020? Oyinkansola Alabi has a solution for you.

A lady stormed angrily into a car dealer’s shop. She was upset with the fact that she found out that the brand new car she bought an hour ago was overpriced. Knowing she could have purchased the same brand and model of car for about $5k less somewhere else was incredibly painful.

She felt cheated, screamed, and shouted till they called the cops on her. When the cops came, they perused the purchase document, then confirmed that ownership has been transferred whether she feels cheated or not.


The lesson in this  as an observer is  life does not give you what you deserve, only what you negotiate for.

Everyone needs a Negotiator and I am so excited to introduce our newborn, ED Negotiations.

ED Negotiations is here to furnish you with clarity and stability in decisive moments. Set up a crisis plan, identify power centers, analyze power positions, prepare all decision-makers to achieve your desired outcome, a wonderful initiative by the Lead researcher and facilitator of Emotions City; Oyinkansola Alabi , who in the past few years has  worked strictly with thinkers, decision makers, influencers as well as the most vulnerable in society. She is shaping Organisational culture and instructing them on how emotional intelligence skills increase productivity, happiness and profitability.

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