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Esther Ijewere

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Acne is a chronic, inflammatory skin condition that causes spots and pimples, especially on the face, shoulders, back, neck, chest, and upper arms.

  • Anxiety and stress

People who constantly worry about everything normally suffer from acne. They undertake too much mental or physical pressure that releases hormones into the body, which then prompts the sebaceous cells to secrete oil that later transforms into pimples. If you want a flawless face, try to calm now when you’re going through difficult times.

  • Bad sleeping routines

A good 8 hours of sleep will re-energize it to ensure healthier skin. However, you have to sleep on clean pillows free from germs, oils, sweat, and hair product residue that you carry throughout the day if you want a smooth skin.

  • Incessant facial contact

Some people can’t resist picking at zits and scabs which traumatizes their skin, plus exposes it to the bacteria on your fingers. Buy a stress ball or fidget spinner to keep your hands busy.

  • Lack Of hydration

Some people are always caught up in their work that they forget to stay hydrated which causes skin conditions such as acne. For a smooth skin, one must the daily water requirements. Drink. More. Water. If not that, then look into a supplement that can boost your body’s hydration levels.

READ ALSO: 5 tricks to grow your beard faster

  • Overexposure to sunlight

People who make their daily income by selling on the streets and roadsides should invest in a good sunscreen because too much sun exposure generates sweat and makes skin more prone to blemishes.

  • Not showering after workouts

To promote your personal hygiene, keep a towel in your locker at the gym and shower thoroughly after every session. All that dirt and sweat trapped on your body, along with the friction of sticky clothes creates a cesspool of bacteria that stimulates breakouts.

READ ALSO: How to slay with a GHc 100 makeup budget

  • Smoking

Enjoying a cigarette more than often leads to acne and premature aging. The amount of oxygen your skin needs to remain supple starts to decrease and dries it out, increasing oil production. And that could be the least of worries for smokers. Need we remind you of the cancerous effects linked to the habit?

  • Taking certain medications

Certain drugs can affect the hormone levels in your body and cause acne-like eruptions. Always consult your physician when dealing with prescribed medications.

Carrot oil is very easy to make at home and it is extremely beneficial for the hair and skin.

Carrot contains an anti-aging nutrient with antioxidant capabilities, Beta-Carotene, to help slow down the ageing of cells in the body.

One way to get that into your body is by using carrot oil. Carrot oil is very easy to make at home and it is extremely beneficial for the hair and skin.

Supplies

Veggie peeler

Hand grater or food processor

Crockpot

Fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth

Jar

Carrot Oil Ingredients

Carrots

Olive, coconut, sunflower, or sesame oil, to cover

Preparation

Step 1: Wash and peel the skin off the carrots.

Grate carrots with the use of a hand grater or food processor.

Step 2: Place the grated carrots in a crock pot and pour the oil of your choice to cover.

Step 3: On your crock pot’s lowest setting, maintain a warm temperature, infusing the oil for a full 24-72 hours.

Note: Use the “warm” temperature setting on your crock pot. Try not to allow the temperature of the oil to rise above 100-105 degrees Fahrenheit. You will notice the oil becoming orange in colour.

Step 4: Once the infusion process is complete, pour the carrots and oil mixture through a fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth and strain.

Step 5: Label and store the oil in a glass jar in the refrigerator until ready for use.

Cyclical pain is the pain that is associated with menstrual cycle. It is the most common type of breast pain and usually occurs in both breasts.

Studies have shown that seventy percent of women experience breast pain during menstruation.

And while it can be serious for a few, it is usually mild for most of them.

There is also the group that experiences breast pain, which is also known as mastalgia, regularly; and a good number of them are advanced in age.

However, the causes of breast pain may vary based on the type or category of breast pain. And according to studies, breast pain can either be categorized as cyclical pain or non-cyclical pain.

1. Cyclical pain

Just as the name implies, cyclical pain is the pain that is associated with menstrual cycle. It is the most common type of breast pain and usually occurs in both breasts.

Known to come with a heaviness or soreness that radiates to the armpit and arm, the primary cause of cyclical breast pain can be linked to the fluctuation of estrogen and progesterone.

However, observations have shown that cyclical pain tends to subside during or after menstruation period.

2. Noncyclical pain

Unlike cyclical pain, noncyclical pain can have many causes which includes injury to the breast, breast size, cysts, muscles or tissues rather than the breast itself, and other numerous unknown factors.

Nevertheless, noncyclical pain has been found to be much less common than cyclical pain, and its causes can be very difficult to identify.

Here are some home remedies for treating cyclical pain

1.Home therapies

Medical practitioners have advised that applying cold compresses or heating pads to the breasts can help reduce cyclical breast pain.

Additionally, taking a warm bath with soothing essential oils, like rosemary or lavender can help relieve the pain as well.

It has also been advised that wearing loose cotton clothes and massaging breasts in the shower with soap can help bring relieve breast pain.

2. Lifestyle changes

Some experts have also suggested that breast pain may be improved by:

  • Reducing your intake of caffeine, which is found in tea, coffee, and cola
  • Reducing your intake of saturated fat, which is found in butter, crisps, and fried food
  • Not smoking (if you smoke)

However, the benefits of making these changes have not been scientifically proven.

3. Herbs

In addition to the solutions stated above, herbal remedies have long been proven to be a natural and economical method of treating breast pain.

And two popular herbs for relieving cyclical breast pain are chaste berry and soy. Chasteberry helps reduce prolactin levels, which in turn reduces breast pain.

On the other hand, soy contains phytoestrogenic compounds, which raise estrogen levels and ease breast pain, making it popular among menopausal women.

Other nutrient-rich food that can help relieve breast pain includes Salmon, avocados, spinach, kale, and guavas.

4. Nonprescription medicines

It is also possible to reduce breast pain with the following nonprescription medicines. But ensure to read and follow the instructions on the label!

  • Acetaminophen, such as Tylenol
  • Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), such as ibuprofen(Advil or Motrin), naproxen (Aleve or Naprosyn), or aspirin (Anacin, Bayer)

However, it is advisable to visit a doctor if breast pain becomes severe or lasts longer than three weeks.

 If you’re going to spend 1/3 of your life at work, you should enjoy it, right?

I know that’s easier said than done. Difficult coworkers, less-than-desirable tasks, or even just being in the wrong position can all lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in your work.

But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? Or better yet, if you struggle with all of the above (and then some), what if I told you that enjoying your work and finding fulfillment regardless of those obstacles is possible?

I know this because I’ve been there too. Years ago, I struggled to get through each day, much less find real fulfillment, in the office. Now, even after the toughest days on the job, I still come away with feelings of pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment. The best news is, so can you.

If you’re ready to make those hours count and find happiness and fulfillment in the office, then read on to find out how to be happy at work and find fulfillment in your career:

  1. Discover the Root(s) of the Problem

For this first step, we’ll need to think back to 8th-grade physics (humor me). We all know Newton’s 3rd law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” When you think about it, the same can be said outside of physics, and we see this law play out in our daily lives, day after day.

Simply put, all the issues we deal with in the office (and life in general) affect us in a noticeable way.

If you’re appreciated at work, like the work you do and receive frequent praise, promotions, or raises, then this will probably have an altogether positive effect on your life in the office.

But what if we reverse this? What if you feel under appreciated, get passed up for promotions, or get denied raises? This is sure to affect the way you feel at work on a negative level.

So, before you can implement the steps of feeling happy and fulfilled at work, we first have to discover the reasons why you don’t feel that way already.

Think about it, write a list, or make a mental note. Run through all the reasons you’re dissatisfied in the office, and don’t hold back. Knowing the exact obstacles you’re facing will make overcoming them that much easier.

In fact, as a side-challenge to this article, I recommend picking the top three reasons contributing to your dissatisfaction at work and using the following tips to tackle them.

  1. Practice Gratitude for an Instant Uplift

Did you know the simple act of feeling grateful can increase your happiness and make you more fulfilled at work?

Well, it’s true, and it’s scientifically proven.

Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that practicing gratitude “reminds us of what we lacked in the past.” Meaning, it serves as both a boost to happiness and a bit of a wake-up call that things have been or could be, much worse.

Trying to conjure up feelings of gratitude can seem almost impossible when your work situation seems bleak, but hear me out: There are incredibly easy ways to get started and it doesn’t involve trying to “force” yourself to feel grateful about things that stress you out.

For an instant pick-me-up, try this:

Find a loose piece of paper, a blank sticky note, or anything you can write on, be it physical or digital. List just three things that you are absolutely without-a-doubt thankful for in your life.

Now here’s the trick: Don’t just list what you’re grateful for, you have to list why you’re grateful for them, too.

For example, simply saying “I’m grateful for my kids” will probably make you feel good, sure, but what if we could amplify the warm, fuzzy feeling into real, lasting motivation?

Instead, write the reason you’re so thankful for your children. Is it because they make you laugh and forget about other stressors? Or maybe they help to remind you of why you go to work every day in the first place?

Whatever your reasons may be, jot them down and keep your list somewhere you can see it while you work. A quick glance at your gratitude list throughout the day can provide powerful, positive motivation to keep going.

Bonus:

If you can find just three things to be thankful for that specifically relate to your job, and list why those things make you grateful, your list can also help you find fulfillment in your work itself which can give you an even bigger boost of positivity throughout the day.

  1. Take Meaningful Time for Yourself

We all know creating a strong work-life balance can be crucial to feeling satisfied in our jobs, but rarely do we ever address how we’re spending our time outside of work.

Many of us survive a 9-hour work day and commute home only to find ourselves busy with our personal to-do lists, running a household, and taking care of a child (or 2 or 3, and so on).

If you spend all your time working, whether in the office or within your household, you’re going to feel drained at some point. This is why setting meaningful time for yourself every day is highly important.

Look, I get it: I don’t know anyone in the working world who can shun all responsibility for a 3-movie marathon or happy hour with friends whenever they feel like it. But finding time for yourself, be it just 30 minutes to an hour, can really make a difference in how you feel at work.

This works because you’ll have time to actually relax and let the day’s stress melt away while you enjoy something just for you. The to-do lists and stressors will still be there after you’re refreshed and ready to tackle them.

No time for me-time? Try this:

If you have a busy household, you’ll need to capitalize on a block of time you know will be completely uninterrupted. The easiest way to do this: try waking up 30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual (or push bedtime back an hour if you’re a night owl, like me) and take time to do something you enjoy.

This could be reading with a cup of tea, catching up on Facebook, spending time on a passion project—anything! As long as it’s meaningful to you, it works!

Bonus:

Starting your day with meaningful time for yourself can set you up to have a positive mood that lasts well into office hours, and having your me-time in the evening can give you something positive to look forward to during the day.

  1. Get Productive and Feel Accomplished

Don’t you just love the feeling of checking the last item off of a hefty to-do list? That’s because self-motivation can be a huge driver of positivity and success.

When we accomplish something, no matter how small, it makes us feel good, plain and simple. Applying this tactic to your daily work can be the motivator you need to find fulfillment during the daily office grind.

While there are tons of steps to get more done at work, I’ll share my personal favorite: Prioritizing.

Now, many people handle prioritizing differently. Some like to tackle the little tasks first so they can spend focused time on the big to-dos. Others like to knock out the big items first and get to the smaller ones when they can.

No matter which camp you’re in, you may be missing one crucial step: Time management.

So how’s this work? When you factor in the amount of time your priorities will take, it can transform your productivity ten-fold.

Say you have three top priorities for the day. You might jump into the smaller ones or the bigger ones depending on your preferred method, and then find yourself out of time and bringing work home with you at the end of the day.

This is prevented when you factor in time. Knowing how long each item will take, or deliberately setting specific blocks of time for your priorities can help you accomplish more in the same 8-9 (or 12) hours that you typically spend at work.

Try this:

Take a look at your priorities and consider how long they should take. Pop into your Google calendar (or Filofax, whatever works for you) and schedule time to work on your priority items around any important meetings or events of the day.

The most important thing to remember is to stick to your dedicated time.

Often, when we know exactly how long we have to work on something (and honor this time limit), we’re motivated to get more done on time to avoid taking work home at the end of the day.

The Bottom Line

There’s no need to waste 1/3 of our lives feeling unsatisfied at work. Luckily, you now have the tools to get started, take back your time, and become happy and fulfilled at work again.

By: Kileen Robinson

While working for a growth private equity firm, sourcing great companies and investment opportunities for a global fund  Eloho Omame Gihan-Mbelu came across founders who were building audacious, pioneering companies in Nigeria and who were determined to succeed against all odds.

Unfortunately, the fund she worked for was used to companies that had raised several rounds already or were even post IPO and it was difficult for them to invest in early stage startups, like the ones she found in Nigeria.

But that wasn’t the only thing Eloho found out. She also discovered, from these founders, that their strongest need wasn’t capital, but mentorship and thought-partnership.

She decided to start making small angel investments in Nigeria, and after sometime, she “gained the courage to walk away from a cushy private equity life in London towards better personal mission-alignment,” as she said in Tech Women Lagos, Techcabal’s AUDACITY series which profiled 50 women in the Lagos technology ecosystem from different backgrounds and at different stages of their technology careers.

When she left the private equity firm – General Atlantic – she founded she founded Amari, a proprietary firm focused on working with, and selectively investing in, early stage, innovation-driven companies in Nigeria. Amari conceptualised, designed and launched ‘Lagos Innovates’, a portfolio of startup support programs sponsored and operated by the Lagos State Employment Trust Fund (LSETF).

It was while doing her work with Amari, that she came across the people at Endeavor, an organisation that supports entrepreneurs with potential for economic and social impact in their regions. They wanted to extend Endeavor’s successful model for scaling companies in more more than 30 countries.

Currently, Eloho is leading Endeavor Nigeria‘s operations. At this time, they’re working with 11 companies, including Flutterwave, Cars45, Paga, Filmhouse & FilmOne, Kobo360, among others, supporting the entrepreneurs with access to mentorship, talent and expertise, capital and new markets.

Eloho is a former Head of Corporate Development at First Bank of Nigeria and a former investment banker at Renaissance Capital and Credit Suisse. She holds an MBA from London Business School and an undergraduate degree in Economics from the London School of Economics & Political Science.

We celebrate Eloho for her work in democratising resources needed to succeed in entrepreneurship to founders in Nigeria and we’re rooting for her.

I have come to accept that being healthy is not impossible, especially as parts of our bodies are wired to work in tandem. Sometimes, we may not think anything could be bothering us or may be on our minds but if you start to have unexplained health issues, especially where all tests come back negative, you might want to check. It might have been pushed back in your mind but still nags at you. There have been times I didn’t realise I was dwelling on an issue until my body started acting up.

A few days ago, I told my friend that my entire system works with my state of mind, which is true. Some of the symptoms I have noticed makes me realise I need to slow down are:

  • Difficulty sleeping.
  • Headaches and feeling light-headed.
  • Increased indigestion, bloating, diarrhea.

Although I have no scientific proof, from my personal experience, here are some of the things that always solve the issue:

Rest

This is one of the things we overlook so much but it is vital for our bodies and mental health. If you are like me, you might constantly want to do something, but I’ve trained myself and my mind to not do anything when I need to rest. You hear of people getting burnt out or people losing their minds. We all need to make conscious effort to listen to our bodies and slow down. Rest might be the thing between you and another health crisis. Take time to rest, it is important.

Keep a positive mindset

2020 has been a trying year for almost every single person in the world. Except you’ve been living in a cave! There is so much bad news and negativity, but you need to filter what you allow into your mind and what your mind dwells on. If there are things you’ve identified as constant triggers, do away with them as much as possible. Social media is a source of immense pressure for so many young people. With social media, what many fail to realise is that people post selectively. You would never know what battles or demons people are living with behind the scenes. For instance, we woke up recently to the shocking news of Chadwick Boseman‘s passing. Who knew that he had been battling for his life with cancer for four whole years? Through all the pain, chemotherapy, treatment, the man gave us his very best, then bowed out. He knew he had limited time, yet he put forward light, positivity, and such grace. Who would have thought?!

People have lost loved ones, jobs, and other things due to the pandemic. At a time like this, it is very easy to go on a downward spiral and stay depressed. But I like to say that as long as we are still living, there is hope. What other choice do we have? My take: stay positive and keep pushing, keep fighting.

Eat properly and stay hydrated

Our bodies are meant to be nourished for maximum efficiency. Once upon a time, I used to forget to eat. Then I started to taste bile, my body was overproducing acid and the required food for it to work with was absent. When I went to the hospital, all I was told was that I was not eating enough and the solution was so simple – no medication needed, just food. Eat well and balance out your food with the different classes. Junks can only nourish your body for so long before it starts to attack it. Drink water, lots of it. You’ll see the difference, and you’ll be thankful for it.

Exercise

We work hard and need some form of release for all the pent up energy. Not everyone might be a fitness buff, but something as simple as walking has so many health benefits. From exercise, new brain cells can be created, it increases the production of neurochemicals that promote brain cell repairs. I’ve also noticed that exercise makes me happy, helps with digestion and I use it as an outlet for frustration. It does me a world of good, always.

Keep good company

We were not meant to be alone or else we would have been individually placed on islands – that’s how I choose to see it. We need people! Human relations are important to how we function, so keep your loved ones close, create networks, and make friends. On a bad day, a kind word from someone may be all you need to light up your day. Even introverts who draw strength from being alone realise that they need company from time to time.

Have fun

Create moments you can look back on and smile. Don’t overlook your hobbies, you can’t take yourself so seriously all the time. Your body needs to be rejuvenated so find ways to do some fun activities. Laugh, play, dance, take note of the small things around you. 2020 has shown us the importance of not taking things for granted. During the lockdown period, so many people wished to just go out, to have fun, and to do the things they would normally do. Celebrate the small things, there is no point always waiting for something big.

Be present

Live in the now, enjoy the moment. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, you have today. Be sure to make decisions for tomorrow but live in the present. I’ve realised that sometimes it is the simplest things that we fail to do that could save us down the line. Take advantage of opportunities now, listen to your body, and take care of it.

Any other tips to add to this list? Please share.

One of the most powerful communication tools in the world today is “Media”, from print, electronic to social media. We can’t downplay the role of the Media Industry in anyway. It has always been , and will continue to be the major tool of visibility in the world. Elsie Godwin is using her voice as a media girl to add value and contribute to Nation building.

Elsie Godwin is a Versatile Media Personality – Television Presenter/Producer, Social media Strategist, Influencer, Content Creator/Curator, Voice Over artist and Blogger behind the award-winning Literary, Lifestyle and Relationship blog ELSiEiSY.COM.

She is currently a Lead TV Show Anchor & Programs Producer at PlusTV Africa.  She has interviewed over 150 successful business men and women in Nigeria and Africa. She is passionate about telling stories of and having conversations with successful people in order to help mentor the younger generation.

She hails from Abia state, a graduate of Computer Science from the Lagos State University (LASU) and an alumnus of FATE Foundation. She was one of the inaugural members and the first welfare Officer of the Digital Media Practitioners of Nigeria (DMPN).

Elsie Godwin has won awards for her personality and her Blog. Her online activity is playful, easy going with principles. She is passionate about blogging, content creation and New Media. As an influencer who is a google partner, She currently works with various agencies to help share stories of great personalities and brands. She lends her voice in raising awareness on the fight against Rape, Domestic Violence, Mental Health Issues, struggles of Orphanages, unnecessary stigma and so much more. She share her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere in this motivating and insightful Interview.

Growing Up

Yes, it sure did. I believe our life’s journey starts from the second we are birthed. Our decisions and trajectory will be influenced by our surroundings and orientation. My outlook on life and how I relate with people is largely influenced by my upbringing and the relationship I had with my mother. She was that woman who defiled societal standards. She was pretty open to me in a way that helped me draw wisdom from her wealth of experience. Also, I would say life has prepared me for today and is constantly shaping me for a tomorrow.

My blogging Inspiration

My personal journey inspired this. I needed to share my story, innocently. I just wanted to be open to an audience  that could learn from me and I from them in return. When this urge to share my ‘heartbreak’ story and my opinions started, I knew nothing about blogging. The blog space at the time drove the conversations on twitter (unlike now) and I wanted to add more to that conversation. I was constantly looking at things from a different angle. I realized that my perspectives weren’t really novel but entertained behind closed doors. I got a lot of – “You cannot talk about this”, either because you are a woman or it just doesn’t sit right on the moral compass of some individuals. I constantly battled the idea of me having to experience something but not having the right to talk about it. From my emotions, to interactions’ with people, my expectations, my dreams and even natural occurrences. There were just too many “can’t say” flying around and I wasn’t ready to conform. So I created my space to offload. This space has however, continued evolving as I do as a person and mirrors areas I am particularly interested in. More of Relationship, General Lifestyle and Opinions.

The Journey so far

Its been rewarding. Starting the blog was all the exposure and push I needed. Regardless of how many people do not fully understand the concept and many layers of blogging, I always tell people I was a blogger first, before radio, television, production, influencer marketing and whatnot. Blogging has helped me learn better than education in Nigeria has helped me. I am aware of the choices that are available to me and the right to making those choices or not. Above all, actively knowing that you own a space on the world wide web that can help shape the life of another is a rewarding responsibility that I do not take for granted.

Being a TV  anchor, producer and influencer, and managing it all

Its time consuming but amazing. It is easy for me because I have identified how all that I do connect with my passion. I love helping people foster beautiful relationships and making better decisions through conversations. Know your right, know the facts and choose your poison. And all I do, in one way or the other, help me achieve my passion, albeit in a much broader sense.

My Work at  Plus TV Africa

At surface level I am a television anchor. I am the Lead Anchor/Producer for Tea Time  -a lifestyle and entertainment news analysis program and the anchor and producer for One on One – a show that features no-holds-barred conversation with notable men and woman in Africa. But beyond the surface, I am actively involved in production and programming at Plus TV Africa. From programs ideation, to ensuring quality conversation and standard control. I am part of the programs review committee and we work closely with the Managing Director, Mr. Kayode Akintemi, to ensure that the vision of Plus TV Africa of being objective, fair and balanced is achieved. Producing is a lot of work and its never about you as a person. It is always about the content. You have to be selfless to be an amazing producer and that’s a journey on its own.

The  society and appreciation of  social media influencers 

I think the term ‘social media influencers’ has been watered down in Nigeria. Personally, I loved the idea of what influencers use to be. Influencers never use to set out to become influencers. They just lived their lives and with time you begin to see the impact of their lifestyle and their communication style. But I guess everything evolves and we have to as well. People now deliberately want to be influencers and it makes me wonder what the quality of their influence is. Are you only interested in numbers, thereby being a channel to disseminate information or is your thought process and lifestyle worth emulating and shaping the narrative? I cannot focus on what the society think of influencers without the so called influencers answering the above question for themselves.

Challenges of being a Social Entrepreneur

Attention span for good content keeps reducing daily and its worrisome. Take for example, Big brother Naija reality TV show – I love the show, it is great content and I think its an empowering platform as well. However, compare the attention society gives to platforms like BBNaija and other reality TV shows that can be argued to be more rewarding based on impact on SMEs, employment and the country’s GDP, It’s a far cry. Don’t get me wrong, big brother naija is not Nigeria’s problem and also not the cause of our low attention span but we can be better. And frankly speaking, this is not solely about the youths, its about everybody, old and young. The amount of sponsors a show like The Next Titan can boast of, even in the corporate world, cannot be compared to that of BBNaija and of course, the key decision makers in those organizations cannot be categorized as too youthful. I truly wish we would pay more attention to quality contents and have better conversations.

 Women who inspire you to be better and why

I could mention Ava Duverney, Oprah Winfrey, Maupe Ogun, Tope Oshin,…the list is endless for me. These women have got one thing in common, they are using their platforms and influence to change the narrative. They understand they influence they wield and they are dangerously using it. But then, the everyday woman inspires me, women I have encountered and worked with, Kelechi Okoro of the healthertainer brand, Dr. Iyewande Dada of Mentally Aware Nigeria, Fausiat Balogun of DEVCOMS, Tosin Ajibade of Olorisupergal, Esther Ijewere, Jane Egerton Idehen, Ized Uanikhehi, Sally Kenneth Dadzie, women in my circle and so much more

Every woman is worth more than Ruby, but what makes you a woman of rubies and more

I guess responding to your questions makes me one. LOL. But yea, I personalize everything to make sense of life. So for me, I am a woman of rubies because I am still here, I am a survivor, a warrior, a queen among queens, and I am consciously living a life of impact. I am a woman who supports people. Having interviewed about 200 successful individual in the space of 16months, I am helping tell the stories of success in Africa. I am being the voice of the people and I am helping change narratives and mold opinions for better decisions. I am Elsie Godwin and I am leaving my mark.

What advice would you give a young woman who wants to be a social media influencer

Find purpose and live it while documenting your journey on social media.

A lot of negativity has been linked to Twitter in recent times, as a social media influencer, how do you think we can correct this ?

What do we pay attention to? A lot of positivity is also going on as well on twitter. Our media platforms can help amplify positivity. We just need to stop paying attention to irrelevant sources.

We can never undermine the power and influence of life coaches in the society, they help us navigate through life, and put us in a state of mindfullness.  Nike Folagbade is a Family life coach of high repute, she has not only succeeded in her field as a Family life coach, but also determined to help singles find the right partner.

Nike Adedokun Folagbade helps men and women experience emotional healing and personal transformation thereby being able to build healthy relationships. She is a Personal Transformational and Family life coach. A vivid encourager, equipper and nurturer who leads the coaching/consultation services at NIKE FOLAGBADE INTERNATIONAL.

She is a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and a Results Coach. She is also an associate of Family Systems Engineering and an Emotional intelligence/Anger management coach. A SYMBIS facilitator who helps engaged and married couples prepare or manage their marriage well.

Nike was listed among the 2019 100 most inspiring young people in Nigerian. In 2015, she was recognized as the best sexuality advocate and in 2014; she won the third relationship blog in Nigeria.

She is also the Lead Creative director of Hevar Solutions, a business support company for entrepreneurs, personal brands and professionals and the Human Resource Manager at WORITAL, a fast growing book branding and publishing firm.

In 2016 to 2018, she convened EVOLVE SUMMIT, a conference targeted at helping men and women experience healing from emotional trauma and sexual addictions and also discovering the path to purpose. In 2020, she began the HEAL, LIVE AND LOVE SUMMIT targeted at helping men and women experience true healing, their full identity, purpose and building healthy relationships.

She has authored several books, audio tracks and video courses, and featured on several media platforms.

Nike is  currently a relationship contributor on Bella Naija, Punch, Business Day News, Women of Rubies and She Leads Africa. Nike is married to a creative genius, Fola and they both nurture their charming son, KING.

You may also visit her website www.nikefolagbade.com to read more of her soul-healing articles. Her Facebook community also houses many articles and resources with almost 6,000 members.

She shares her inspiring story in this interview with Esther Ijewere

Growing up

I once heard a speaker say that our lives can be segmented into different phases, like 0-10 years representing a time of discovery and age 10-20 representing a time of practice. From the age of 7, I started having a strong interest in love related matters. I enjoyed reading romantic novels, magazines, movies and columns in the newspaper. Oprah Winfrey Show was also a great influence as I envisioned myself hosting a talk show like that someday.I began to write articles in my notebooks till I got busy with school life and daily realities. As at then, I never saw my interests as a big deal, I just felt I would go to school, get a job and build a successful career in Accounting.

While in the university, I felt a strong urge to help people via writing and speaking especially in the area of love and dating. Prior to then, I got bored of the school-church-home cycle. I wanted more out of life so I started to meditate alone. I started to seek and dig within me. I decided to try out new things but it didn’t work out until I saw an inspirational seminar in school which I had to pay for. They invited over 10 motivational speakers, business owners and celebrities to speak on discovering oneself. I was the only one who paid for it amongst my friends. I felt bored at first but at the end of the event, I realized that God had just used one of the speakers to spark up the desire in me to help people. It felt surreal. It felt like a rush of grace as I stepped out and began to truly help people. I started blogging, speaking in my church and discovering more of my skills. I was able to use WordPress, BBM, Facebook and Twitter to reach thousands of people in 2013.

One of the ways that my childhood helped to build compassion in me is that, at a young age, I didn’t know how to process corrections. I always took every misfortune, pain, sickness, failure and criticism as rejection from my parent, God and anyone around me, so I began to seek for love and validation externally. This spurred me into dating for the wrong reasons until I was able to truly discover myself. Now, when I’m helping people, I can see through the lens of their past and how it forms their decision now. It’s been 6 years since I started and I’m so happy to have helped thousands of people to discover themselves, heal from past hurts, choose better relationships, make better marital decisions and grow spiritually.

Inspiration behind  Nike Folagbade International

I started blogging in 2013 as a personal hobby but after helping thousands of people and getting certified in Emotional intelligence, Anger management, Family Systems Engineering, Master Neuro-Linguistics Programming, SYMBIS and other coaching skills, I decided to intentionally build a business and not just a hobby hence I registered Nike Folagbade International to anchor my personal brand. Now, we are focused on helping singles and married via coaching, therapy, counseling, mentorship, speaking, blogging, podcasting, authoring books and other medium.

My vision is to build an institution that will cater for families generally which will include working with singles, married couples and helping with intentional parenting. This also means that we will partner with other coaches and experts in different fields to achieve this. We also want to build an online and offline academy that can train people to prepare for a healthy relationship and marriage. Under the sustainable development goals created by the United Nations, we intend to build stronger institutions and promote well- being because if we can have whole and healthy individuals who are mentally, spiritually and emotionally stable, we can have better marriages and children.

The Journey so far

Wow! I have been schooled in the process. There are many challenges and achievements in the process.

Challenges in the areas of:

  1. Persuading young people to invest in their emotional and mental health beyond acquiring business skills because money isn’t all that is needed in a marriage. Many marriages are suffering because of the individual’s ability to make emotional choices that can positively help them live better. We rely so much on emotions but when frustration sets in, emotions fades and people begin to make rash decisions. We also have to clearly help singles know that beyond praying, they also need to learn the right skills like communication, love languages, self- control and build strong values too.
  2. I have had to experience refining processes as we grow as a business. I have had to also experience transformation in my life so I teach from a place of experience and research. I don’t just teach Googled content, I’m an embodiment of what I teach and that means I’ve had my testing moments also.
  3. Getting financial support hasn’t been easy because brands like to partner more with businesses that are focused on teaching business, finance and related industry. We need more support from the government, private institutions and churches to reach more young people. People are going into drugs, prostitution, extra-marital affairs, and fraudulent lifestyle because they don’t have a proper model from home, or have experienced father or mother wounds, need clarity on their Identity and need to also heal from the baggage they currently carry. We can reach more people if we have the funds and support needed. Collaboration is key.

There have been achievements in the area of being recognized by different platforms for awards and speaking engagements. I was recently recognized as one of the 100 most inspiring young Nigerians ranking 24th in 2019 by Avance Media. It puts smile on my face when I see people become transformed in their minds, health and relationships. Seeing my books in the hands of people also encourages me to write more. There is so much work to be done on the African continent too. There is also the financial reward from helping people too, winks.

Helping engaged and married couples manage their home, with my SYMBIS knowledge 

Save Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) tool is a pre-marital coaching platform that trains coaches and counselors on how to work with engaged couples on how to adequately prepare for marriage in all ramifications. It also works for the married people who want to relearn what it takes to make their marriages work and be renewed.

The beauty of the platform is that, individuals can log into their personal dashboard to fill the assessment and will be guided by me when they are done. Each person discovers their beliefs in the areas of personality, money, marriage, sex, religion, house chores, health and other vital issues that show up in marriage. It makes my work easier because I simply guide them to fill their assessment which takes about 30 minutes at a go then I give a comprehensive explanation and coaching of how to handle each phases of their lives in marriage. It leads to mind blowing discovery about how they view marriage generally.

I also use Family Systems Engineering skills and assessments to help the married people too.

Launching the Love and Life Hub platform, and helping singles with it

Love and Life Hub is a love and dating platform that is focused on enlightening and connecting singles for the aim of a healthier self and relationship. We have deliberately organized all that it takes for you to discover yourself, learn about dating intelligently, connect with other singles via active interaction, position yourself for an ideal partner and find the right support and guidance needed while dating. It is a combination of courses, coaching, mentoring, connection, webinars, fun, book reviews, resources and support for an active dating life.

You don’t have to take random courses to upgrade yourself, you can easily learn on love and relationships based on where you are in life and your love cycle, which is why we have created an assessment to show you where you are. We want to simplify the dating process for singles by taking them through 5 stages focused on healing, purpose, attracting a partner, sustaining a relationship and gliding into marriage successfully. We will be using a website, virtual coaching hubs and other system in place for every 90 days for each batch plus we have support coaches who will help with mentoring. The platform launches from August 17th, 2020 and every single man or woman from any tribe or religion can join us at www.loveandlifehub.com

3 women who inspire you to be better and why?

There are many women who inspire me and the list will be inexhaustible but I will just stick to 3 like you have asked.

Debola Deji-Kurunmi inspires me because she shows me what is possible as a woman. She leads from a place of personal transformation that she has experienced and every encounter with her shifts my mind and execution rate. She is my kind of woman who is solid in spirituality, business, marriage and influence.

Dr. Anita Phillips because I love how she mixes mental health with Faith which gives a combination of Spirit-Body-Soul healing.

Joyce Meyer because she simplifies many areas that we struggle with in her books and other resources. We share similar vision too and I’m happy at how she has influenced my mind positively especially with the book; “Battlefield of the mind”.

Being a life coach, creative director, wife and mom, and managing it all

People preach balance and I think that it has led to more confusion for me as I tried to balance every areas of my life in the same degree; I have noticed that, in order to live a multidimensional life, there will be priorities and there are areas that can be delegated. Also, there are times that my focus is more on Spirituality and Family, other times; it can be work and health. At different stages in life, I try to put each area of my life in the right perspective but they can stay at different degree. I’m currently learning to manage every area of my life but I also like to focus on 3 things at a time. Each day, I set my priorities and chase after it. I don’t try to achieve everything in a day. I have also learnt to highlight my goals, structure, time it, set reminders and delegate. I also have a team I work with which makes it easier to manage each businesses including having a supportive husband who helps me thrive in all I do but balancing it is still a work in progress and I’m learning to chill.

For instance, I have coaching hours, I have Faith hours, I have work hours, I have Family hours, I have my rest day and many other structure I’m trying to build but it is not perfect yet. I’m a work in Progress. I’m learning to appreciate my growth and leave out the pressure. Our lives are different.

The pandemic has made a lot of Nigerian women vulnerable, What coping mechanism advice would you give to these women at a time  like this, especially those who are almost forced to go back to abusive relationships out of the need to sustain the family?

It can be very hard I must say. These things happen and I don’t blame anyone. We make healthier decisions as we permit ourselves the risk to grow and find help.

It boils down to Identity and Healing. Many people are currently in toxic relationships because they live a codependent life. They rely on others to feel happy, successful or approved. I love a popular saying that; “If you live for the approval of others, you will die by their rejection”. More women are rising up to discover themselves. Relationships do not define you, it should be built with another person from a healthy standpoint.

If you are in an abusive relationship, you may need support and strength to leave because many times, people know they are in a mess but they are so convinced that there is nothing good that can happen if they choose to start again. For some, they don’t even know where to start from. It is fear and fear can keep you stuck. If you are in an abusive marriage, please, take a temporary leave to cater for your well-being, seek for help and rebuild your life. If you choose to go back to your home, it should be because your spouse is willing to use therapy, spiritual help and every necessary action to stay back on track.

Many toxic relationships are built by broken people coming from broken families. People are a product of their upbringing, environment and experiences. If you don’t discover yourself now, you cannot live a better life.

I have discovered that our mindset is where the change starts, if you start to question the beliefs that drives your life, you will be compelled to find more in life. I started helping others because there was a burden in me to grow and serve too.

I will say to ladies that, you are worth more than you are. If you redirect your life now, you will be thankful in years to come. The woman you are now is not the woman you will be in 10 years’ time but the magnitude of your change is dependent on the level of exposure you have and the transformation you permit. Even if you start by reading a book, watching the right inspirational videos, changing your role models and friends, seeking for growth etc. I know that some coaches or motivational speakers may have hurt you but look for genuine people and subscribe to their programs. I can vouch for myself, my goal is your change and it is evident in my work. Start from where you are, most importantly; speak up.

 Nuggets about marriage with us, and why it is necessary to make it work.

First, people marry for the wrong reasons and they leave easily when it doesn’t work out as planned. People marry for sex, money, security amidst other reasons and can easily opt out when those needs are not met. Beyond your needs being met, there are few reasons why you should make your marriage work:

  1. Marriage is a trans-generational decision and you cannot just marry for yourself alone. Whatever decision you make should impact your children and their marriage. The change we desire in the society starts from the family unit but may people don’t understand this hence we hardly build a structure around our marriages. Most people are still suffering from the trauma and patterns of their own family. Be the one to change that cycle by seeking for help and applying the necessary wisdom in your home.
  2. If your marriage will work, it starts with your mindset and the decision to permit yourself to be responsible for it. Don’t always focus on your spouse, be the change you want to see and things will start working well when you have the right mindset, heart and actions in place.
  3. Be humble and teachable enough to take corrections. I think this is one area that I needed to work on too. Your spouse can see you better, they can be the tool of change in your life if you are humble enough to get through life with them.
  4. Engage healthy 3rd parties like professional counselors when needed. Don’t suffer in silence when you can engage a neutral help instead of friends and families.
  5. Learn the right skills and be willing to implement it. Be patient to see the change you desire. Be content with your spouse, people keep thinking they will find a better love out there if they keep flirting. It looks greener on the other side, focus on your home and make it work just like you would do for your business. Be willing to speak your partner’s love language, keep dating in marriage and evaluate your progress periodically.
  6. Be prayerful because marriage is warfare and you don’t always have to fight with words, learn to deal with some issues in prayer and let God rule your heart. I think that some marriages will work better if there is an application of wisdom and a healthy faith life.

 

Being  a Woman of Rubies

I believe that I’m one of the women making the society better through my thoughts and actions. I actively engage many men and women and challenge them to be better than they are currently. I help people live a healthy life emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

 

 

 

People seem to believe that they can simply think their way straight to success. They mistakenly believe that if they just think about their dreams often enough and vividly enough that–poof!–They’ll just seem to come true.

But life is not a magic trick.

If you told a starving child in Africa who had not have a single meal in five days to use the Law of Attraction to manifest a meal for themselves, how well do you think it would work out for them?

Clearly, there’s more to it than envisioning what you want.

If you want to know what it really takes to achieve your greatest goals and ambitions, then here’s a list of steps that will outline how to use the Law of Attraction the proper way.

  1. Focus Your Thoughts in the Direction of Your Dreams

If you were to take a pebble and toss it into a pond, what happens?

As soon as the pebble strikes the surface of the water, you get a series of ripples or waves, which spread outwards in a circular direction, until they get to the shoreline and seem to stop.

The larger the pebble, the larger the ripples. The larger the pebble, the higher the waves.

Two stones of different sizes and weights tossed in at the same time, at different places but in close proximity, will both create a series of ripples, which will eventually merge with one another…

When the two sets of ripples converge, there seems to be a bit of a struggle as to which one overcomes or passes the other.

As far as the human eye can see, if the ripples are the same size, both seem to stop or merge when they collide.

But if one set of ripples is larger than the other, the larger set sweeps over the smaller set and creates waves in the wake of the smaller ripples.

Let’s consider this analogy in relation to our own thought-patterns and mental impulses…

Imagine you’ve got two stones in each hand.

The stone in your left hand is labeled, “failure”

The stone in your right hand is labeled, “success”

The weight of each stone is in direct proportion to the amount of *thought* you give its label.

So… How heavy are your stones?

If your “failure” stone is heavier, then its ripples will simply stop or takeover the ripples created by your stone labeled “success.”

But if your “success” stone is heavier, then that will be the one that takes over.

  1. Put Some Actions Where Your Thoughts Are

Many people make the mistake of looking at the Law of Attraction as if it were a stand-alone solution to making their dreams a reality. They believe that they can make a vision board and use positive thinking to achieve success.

But these folks need a wake-up call, because positive thinking is not enough. It will never be enough.

If we THINK positive, but we still FEEL negative, then how will we ACT?

Your thoughts, actions and feelings are like a three-legged stool. Positive thinking is powerful, but only when we think of it as one of the three necessary legs that reinforces the stool we’re sitting on.

If we don’t want the stool to wobble or break, we’ve got to make sure we give each leg the care it needs to keep us from falling down and getting hurt.

The key here, with making the Law of Attraction work for you, is to focus on being as congruent as possible between your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

What’s the best way to do that?

First, remember that the way you THINK has got to be in line with the way you ACT. Because the way you act is going to have an impact on the way you FEEL.

And the way you feel is going to help reinforce the way you think, or it’s going to help you re-examine the way you think. Which is going to circle right back around into helping you decide the way you choose to act in any given situation.

The Bottom Line

It’s not the Law of Attraction or positive thinking alone that drives our success in life — it’s about being in positive congruence between the way we think, act, and feel that drives our success in life… And at the very least, keeps us from falling off the stool.

If we want to make big things happen, we’ve got to take action.

This is the kind of headline you see and get a panic attack, especially if you have been working so hard and trying to keep hope alive! I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I have seen it so much and experienced it myself after working with over 5,000 small businesses either in a training, coaching or consulting capacity. I hear the hope in their voices, see the eagerness in their eyes, maybe just maybe they are about to create a business that will change the game from their kitchen to Wall Street like Carols daughter. I don’t have the heart to tell them it is not going to happen, so I decided to write an article and tell you (now I am not talking to anyone directly, but I am talking to everyone who needs to hear!) These are the reasons:

1. The danger of a single channel: God bless Instagram! Maker of millennial millionaires and torture to generation Xers who can’t seem to get a hang of how to translate this single channel to millions. The next time I have a strategy session with a generation Xer who laments to me about their lack of business growth due to an inability to monetize Instagram, I am probably going to pull my hair out!

Instagram is an amazing social media channel to reach customers and it should be harnessed. However if you are looking to scale your business in a Country where over 70 percent of transactions are still done off line, you have to explore multiple channels to reach your customers.

Go where your customers are and believe me, they are in multiple places aside from Instagram. (I share more details about channels in my new book small to scale. Details on how you can get the e-book for free is at the end)

If that’s your only marketing channel, surely you are neglecting 70% of your market and you want to scale?

2. Your money is our money: after paying school fees from my business revenues, I am low on cash flow! Alas this was the lament of a client who was the breadwinner in her home. Can you blame her? Her Children have to go to school, after all why was she working so hard… 95% of businesses in Nigeria are micro businesses and they struggle to grow because they are really just vehicles for the business owner to take care of their family needs. I am sure you have heard several times that you should separate your business finance from your personal finance and instead pay yourself a salary. But how many of us are practicing this strictly? How do we grow or scale a business when we keep eroding the capital to meet our personal needs?
I know, I know, it’s not your fault. It’s the state of the economy and other life realities….

3. Doing it the way they do it: hey ‘Tale, have you noticed that XYZ Company seems to be making a lot of money? Really, I replied. How do you know? Well, they just bought a new bus or opened a new store. This is how “Me too” strategy is killing a lot of small businesses who are attempting to copy others without really knowing what is happening behind the scenes.

There is nothing wrong with bench marking with your industry colleagues, but making major business changes or decisions based on something you heard or think you understand is unreliable. Your business decisions should be driven by a clear strategy and not by trying to do it the way they do it without clear direction.

4. I can do “bad” all by myself: one of the greatest tests I have seen small businesses fail is the hiring test. I know the excuses…I can’t afford to hire the type or quality of staff that I need, so I will do everything by myself. Okay it might not be an excuse, it is your reality right? Some years ago, one of my clients hired a COO who earned twice the salary of the CEO. I had to ask why that decision was made. I was told that the person came with many years of experience working in a multinational and that they wanted their small business to grow and operate at that standard. Suffice to say, the business experienced exponential growth in a few short years. The next question I am usually asked is; what if I make the wrong hiring decision? My response is; like in everything in life, correct your mistake quickly, learn from it and hire right the next time. However what I see a lot of businesses doing is returning to status quo. At least I will have one less person to pay the business owners rationalizes, how about the loss of revenues from trying to do it all by yourself and dropping the ball?

5. Planting an oak tree in a flower pot: the thought of the analogy sounds ridiculous right? But that’s what I see so many small business owners trying to do! People want to build million dollar factories with a few hundred thousand naira and expect that by some miracle and pure resilience, things would translate as such. I am not saying you shouldn’t start small, I am a big advocate of starting small and scaling.

I am currently building my third business with the principle of starting small, however what is different is the approach and the structure that would ensure that it scales. When you want to build a business that will scale, you build it with that mindset from day one. This will include your vision, your business structure, your capital structure, your business model and your team.

You have to lay the right foundation for the type of building you want to construct. If you have laid the foundation for a bungalow and you attempt to build an eight story building on it, do you know what will happen? Then you know why many small businesses won’t scale….

Learn how to avoid these mistakes in my new book- “Small to scale-The blueprint for transforming your small business into a high growth company” I am giving it out for free in ebook format to the first 10,000 people who subscribe to join the waitlist of our new finance matching and business support platform-Owoafara. Join at www.owoafara.com/join