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Esther Ijewere

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In Inspiration By

I DECIDED TO QUIT BANKING AT THE AGE OF 40 AND START MY OWN BUSINESS – OLUWATOYIN EDUN

Oluwatoyin Edun is the Group Managing Director of Fusion Group Limited. She graduated from University of Ibadan with a B.sc degree in Political Science and holds a Masters of Business Administration degree from Business School Netherlands.
She started her career at Eko International bank in 1999 then proeeded to FSB International bank and joined FCMB in 2005
In 2012 her portfolio was enlarged with the inclusion of commercial and retail activities covering 10 branches of the bank in Ikeja and its environs where she was designated the zonal head. Based on her initial goal to quit at the age of forty she decided to take a bow from the banking sector in 2014 to pursue her dream. She later became the Director of finance for the Akiwunmi Ambode Campaign Organization for Lagos State.
She shares her  grass to grace journey  in this inspiring  interview.

I grew up prepared to fly in the world
My childhood was full of optimism about the future. I grew up wanting to be a lawyer but
later on I met a Professor of Political Science who influenced my decision to study Political Science, however that is totally different from what I do today. This has taught me that it doesn’t matter where we start from, eventually with our aspirations and as we go along, meet people, interact and deal with issues of life, we will end up at the destination that God has prepared for us. But in terms of academic background and upbringing, I will say that I had enough preparation for the role I am playing now because I was academically inclined as a student and also attended good schools; I was focused very on education with a determination to excel at everything I ever did. I believe I was adequately prepared to fly in the world.

Toyin Edun
I am the first of five children (4 girls and 1 boy). I grew up in Ibadan where I attended Bodija International School, Queens School Ibadan, International School Ibadan and i graduated from the University of Ibadan with a Second Class Upper division in Political Science. I fell in love with the Banking Industry during my University days and this led me to choose a career in banking. I started my banking career at Eko International Bank from the Human Resources department, proceeded to FSB International Bank and thereafter, Metropolitan Bank Limited. I later joined FCMB in 2005. While at FCMB I started as an Assistant Manager and rose to the position of Assistant General Manager having worked in different departments of the Bank. I retired from Banking at the age of 40 to start my own Real Estate and Hospitality business. I bought into a family business in 2015 where I became a Director and subsequently took over the operations in Real Estate and Facilities management, and also expanded our focus into co- working space with the setting up our Virtual Hub. I also have a keen interest in Tourism and hospitality and I have done quite a lot of work in hotel management, short letting as well as consultancy for the hospitality and tourism sector. Currently, I run a group called the Fusion Group with subsidiaries in South Africa and United Kingdom.

Inspiration behind Fusion Group
While in the banking sector, I realized that I had a flair for Real Estate and got inspired by my own personal experiences especially when I was buying my own home for the first time. I realized that I was very much interested in every detail that went into the home. I got really interested in Construction and at that point, I decided to make what was just a hobby into a profession and business. By the time I decided to quit banking at the age of 40, I started to plan my exit and the first thing that came to mind was for me to pursue business in the Real estate sector which got me buying into a family business that was already into facilities management and to expand the scope to do everything else around the real estate business. I am very passionate about space; I love spaces whether it is your home space, your office space, your hotel space etc! I believe a space tells a lot about the personality of the person so I always like to add a personal touch from designing of partitioning, structuring of space, colour scheme, the furnishings and the management of space. Spaces in general fascinates me and I believe that is what has kept me in the business till now coupled with being a passionate person that does whatever I have to do extremely well.

Biggest risk ever taken as an Entrepreneur
The biggest risk I have taken as an individual is to leave the known for the unknown i.e. to leave the banking industry, where I had everything going for me and to launch out to try to do business and I’ve not had a day’s regret since I took that bold step. In the real estate space and in hospitality.

Challenges
We started the business at the time when Nigeria was just going into the recession and this really affected a lot of our projections, our business started off on a very slow note, we did not have the kind of clientele that could afford our services so the sluggish start was sort of troubling but we found our way around it and we were able to understand what the market could absorb and packaged our services to attract international organizations who could understand and afford our value proposition and also wanted to come into Lagos, Nigeria to do business. The other challenge was the power issue ,The third challenge is People. We have had our fair share of human resource challenges with staff turnover.

Balancing the business and the home front
I will say this is the popular problem of every working woman and therefore not peculiar to running a business. It is the same challenge I faced when I was still in paid employment. Once you are a working woman, you have to balance the home front with your career. I understood where I was going and I developed a working template, thus I have structured my home in the most efficient manner. I have always had highly professional carers to support me with raising my kids and happy to pay the premium in order for me to focus on my career. I also structured my timing to accommodate quality family time which is the most important thing to me but also ensuring that it does not affect work.
I also made sure that I took out time to attend every important event in their lives, every important school event, every important exam and all of that. Yes, it meant me staying up longer hours and keeping awake trying to juggle all the balls but I believe that once one is organized and you are committed to something, you will always find a way to make it work. Life is all about planning

Tell us about your other project and activities?
Our other projects include our interest in tourism and hospitality. We have started doing some work with the Nigerian Tourism Development Corporation (NTDC). We are also doing some work in short-letting across the continent and the UK. Also, preliminary work is going on in setting up our hospitality school which is a passion for me and I believe has to be done quickly. This is a cause I am committed to in order to boost the quality of services in the hospitality and tourism sector and we are working towards achieving it. It is also my way of giving back to an industry I love so much as unfortunately many Nigerians do not seem to understand the true value of customer service. The focus is to train future employers and employees for the Nigerian Hospitality Industry. This will help the industry grow, reduce the unemployment in Nigeria as well as help to grow the Nigerian economy as a whole.
We also have interest in Infrastructure maintenance under facilities management and we are currently doing some work on some transport infrastructure deployment and management. At the same time, we are looking to expand our co working space, the Virtual Hub by setting up another branch in Lagos and opening one in Abuja. These are the projects we have on the front burner right now.

Fusion group in five years
I see Fusion Group growing in leaps and bounds. Our five year road map is to consolidate our efforts and investment in real estate, in hospitality and tourism as well. We would be developing our own estates and also operating our hospitality school within that period. I see Fusion Group becoming about a $100M dollar franchise within the next five years.

Giving up is not an option
My personal mantra in life is to learn to focus on winning so much that I forget how to fail. Therefore giving up was never an option. I am naturally resilient and tenacious. Challenges bring out the best in me. Like I said, I left banking in 2014 and I knew there was no going back so I always knew I had to keep forging ahead no matter what life threw at me. I must confess that I have had my fair share of daunting challenges and there were times when i felt really overwhelmed but my trust in God sustained me.

Who and What Inspire me to be better
The things that have inspired me to be better at what I do are within me. The desire to excel, the passion for service and the willingness to learn from every experience. I believe that how you do anything is how you do everything.
The person who inspired me to be my best was always my Sister , Dr Adenike Aiyedun , she was also my very first business partner. She gave me a lot of push and support as well. She always saw it in me that I could thrive and excel at business and she was the first to give me her support when I decided to leave the banking industry. She always nudged, assisted, coached and prayed for me. She always reminded me that I have everything that I need to succeed and encouraged me to follow my dream.

Being a woman of Rubies

First, I want to say a shout out to every woman out there who is trying to make a difference in the world, to her society and her family. I believe that I am one of those women. I did not mention at the beginning but I was raised by a single parent and my Mother taught us the value of hard work and why it was necessary for me to able to fend for myself and people around me. Hard work, Dedication, Commitment, Loyalty and Passion were all those words I heard from my mum right from when I was little and those values have positioned me for who I am today. As a person, I believe I mentored a lot of people whilst I worked in the banking sector, I raised a lot of other women because
I believe as women, we must hold and raise ourselves up, we must be able to keep each sister going and I believe this I have done so much of and will continue to do. I also believe that I collaborate very effectively with men in such a way that we all achieve results together.
I believe that as a mother, I have done a whole lot to raise children to understand values, morals and important ethics of life. So in terms of what qualifies me to be a Woman of Rubies, I believe in my personal life, I have been able to showcase that. In my business life, I have conducted myself as a woman of rubies. somewhere. In terms of achievements, to God be the glory; I have been able to record my moderate achievements across board. I believe all this qualify me as a woman of rubies.

Final word for female entrepreneurs in Nigeria and women in general
You need to be very confident, you need to first identify your dream and goal and be committed to it and remain very confident in what you do.
I will tell you for free that you will be intimidated by situations, by people and by the opposite sex as well. You are going to feel like you are at your dead end at different times and feel like you are being taken advantage of. You also have to be upright, integrity is everything in business and you should be known for what you do and be known for what you say.
As a woman, you should never give up and never feel we are second rate to anyone.

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NOTHING GIVES ME MORE JOY THAN TO POSITIVELY IMPACT A SKILLFUL WOMAN – OMOLARA SANNI

Nothing gives me more joy than to positively impact a skilful woman – Omolara Sanni

Omolara Sanni is a graduate of the University of Ibadan, with a MBA (Entrepreneurship and Small Business) from OAU, Ile-Ife. She’s undertaken verifiable MOOCs with Coursera and Shaw Academy including – Creativity, Innovation & Change (CIC), Creative Problem Solving, and Digital Marketing. In 2014, Omolara started a crusade to nurture and promote home-grown Craft entrepreneurs via her blog – www.multicreativeme.com. Since then, she has gone on to rally a collective of over 6000 creative folks in an online crafting community – African Handmade Forum. Here, artisans and designers enjoy support, showcase, and free training opportunities.
Omolara is an enthusiast of all initiatives targeted at the crafts, artisan networks, micro business growth, and the creative industry as a whole. She shares her inspiring story and passion for the creative industry in this exclusive interview.

Growing up
Far back as primary school, I remember my Mum, a teacher, buying a kongo each of sugar and Omo detergent for my sister and I, so we could tie them in small portions and display in her hair salon. The stylists would help us sell while we went to school and we would rush to the shop on our return to count the money made as well as the remaining wares. It felt so exciting and important to be in business. LOL

At the end of each cycle, we got the profit while Mum would recycle the capital to get another batch of sugar and Omo for us.
This was my introduction to business and I remain grateful to my Mum for teaching us early. I toed the business line all through to University, selling stuff from time to time and making hair at some point. I also worked as a stylist at her salon anytime school was on break, and that formed my first contact with Customer management. Haha!

Inspiration behind Multicreativeme and handmade Nigeria

It was while serving as a youth Corper in Kwara state, that a visiting corper taught a handful of us how to make beaded jewellery and pouches, bags etc. I was so excited! This was in 2004/05 when beadmaking/weaving was just becoming a thing.

I have always loved designing and I caught on very fast, so much so that after our trainer left, I became the ‘madam’ that others came to learn from. I was so passionate about crafting that I would travel to unfamiliar Lagos and find someone to drag to the market so I could buy materials and then return to Kwara. Pretty exciting times!
Thereafter, I ran my own beading shop in Ibadan after NYSC; selling jewelry and training students, until I got a job… then 6 years later, I was out of job. I returned to crafting and picked a few more skills but now, I wanted more. So I looked out.

The craft sector I saw was loaded with potentials and the most precious raw talents, but it was in disarray, only few of the crafters and artisans were really making any profit.. so how do we make significant impact? Business skills were lacking. I decided to start a blog that would rally other crafters and provide them with helpful and developmental resources – Multicreativeme.com.
Then, as our community grew online, the need for an exclusive platform to sell handmade items online came to the fore. We needed to sell online but crafters were tired of having their handcrafted products compared with mass-produced factory products on marketplaces. And that is how www.handmadenigeria.com came into existence.

Being an Alumni of Daystar Leadhersip Academy
DLA taught me a lot about being a balanced leader. Beyond that, the Daystar’s culture of excellence has rubbed off on me, both in life and business – I would rather not do it at all than not do it well (give it my best shot) and this has nothing to do with starting small! I started small. my ultimate takeaway from DLA is that the Value that you give always comes back to you – thus when I only had the blog, I kept on dishing value to creative entrepreneurs (yeah, I had a few throw it in my face) even though I earned no income from it yet. Today I have income streams from skills that got honed doing that.

Why I chose the creative world
What can I say? The creative world is my world; I am fascinated with creativity in others and I love to create with my hands too. Creativity should be encouraged in every child because it comes with resourcefulness, a life skill that means you cannot get stranded.

Another reason is the Craft sector is somewhat of an underdog in a Nigerian creative industry that sparkles with music stars and block buster movies, but we are rising steadily. Yes, the recession did us good because local content received some long lost attention. A lot of corporate organisations have seen the need to support home-grown businesses and we have been welcoming them on our platforms. We need to consider how well the crafts are doing in developed countries and realize that we have what it takes here too. Like, have you seen some of the fashion accessories on our marketplace? Wowza!

What and who inspires you?

The Holy Spirit. Since I knew God in my high school days, I have felt a deep seated desire to live an impactful and extra-ordinary life. I remember thinking that it would be through my song ministrations, but well, that didn’t work out. Haha!
Now, I am driven to help make craft businesses highly profitable and sustainable. I want crafters, designers, and artisans in my network to grow significantly and be able to make a living from what they make with their hands.

Greatest Reward
That would be the testimonies of crafters that my content and activities have inspired with results. When I get tired, those keep me going. I was a finalist at the 2017 Wimbiz Impact Investment Competition; didn’t win. I have also been finalist in a seed funding competition and though I didn’t get the money, I felt greatly encouraged and validated.

Challenges

Hmm. First is the high costs of power, data and hardware procurement. Besides that, a lot of creatives have lethargic attitudes towards managing their online stores, inventories and all; I’m just grateful for my team – we work round the clock on some days managing both sellers and buyers. Thirdly, Nigerian buyers still have a propensity for offline transactions, even on a platform like ours and while this isn’t exactly a challenge, it does stretch our limited workforce.

Perception of women in the creative industry
Yes, I believe that limits only exist in the mind for women of this generation. Thanks to the MDGs and SDGs, we have seen a lot of women-targeted empowering initiatives, I almost started to feel sorry for the men, but Hey! We’ve had it coming a very long time.
A lot of women in the industry have stepped up too and are making us proud. But of course, we still have the hobbyist designers, who are yet to understand the business of their craft.

Handamade Nigeria!
Handmade Nigeria is an online marketplace for quality fashion and lifestyle accessories made by indigenous designers and crafters.We promote the handmade culture and facilitate smooth and secure transactions between buyers and sellers onsite, while providing quality control.
Another of my initiatives is a 6000+ support group for crafters on Facebook called African Handmade Forum. There we run free business trainings and generally support each other.
Giving Up
Several times oh! I have spent money on social media ads that yielded nothing, burned the midnight oil many times and ended up feeling drained. There are days it seems I have done all I know to do… Thank God that those moments pass, then the dream and the giver of it keep me going.

Being a Woman of Rubies?
I am passionate about lighting other women’s candles with mine. Nothing gives me more joy than to positively impact a skilful woman.

Final word for women who are thinking of going into the creative industry

Niche up and don’t be all over the place.
Then you must pay attention to the business side of things before you get in deep. Creatives are passionate folk and it is quite easy for them to run into unprofitability and frustration when bills don’t get paid, even though you’ve been very busy doing your thing diligently.

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BEING A WOMAN DOES NOT LIMIT YOU IN ANYWAY – IFEYINWA JACINTHA, FARMER & AGRICULTURAL ADVOCATE 

Ifeyinwa Jacinta Eze, founded The Green Generation Initiative in 2011 with a seed funding from ExxonMobil. The Agricultural Advocate, Educator, Scientist, and a Global Shaper of the World Economic Forum holds a Bachelors degree in Soil Science and Land resource management from the Obafemi Awolowo University and a postgraduate student on food security at the Business School Netherlands. While setting up “The Green Generation Initiative” she worked  as Supply Chain at AACE foods between 2013-2015, facilitating at least 1,500 farmers to supply indigenous spices and grains to the processing factory as well as access to storage and finance.

Ifeyinwa Jacinta Eze’ work has made significant contributions to improving the livelihood of smallholder farmers in Nigeria. With over 8years of experience in agriculture, business and management, her unparalleled success as an educationist propelled the organization in training teachers and students in practical vegetable production skills. Today through Funding under the MicroVeg project from Global Affairs Canada, over 120 schools on climate-smart agricultural practices have set up gardens in two geo-political zones of the country.

Jacinta is the co-author of the book “School Vegetable Garden Manual for Secondary schools”, a practical and inspiring book for the younger to love agriculture that is funded by the MicroVeg Project. On pro bono basis, she advocates for the inclusion of children, women and youth in agriculture, Jacinta has also been a guest speaker in many agricultural workshops and conferences both locally and internationally. She shares her inspiring story in this interview.

Childhood Influence
My childhood was full of flowers and vegetable gardening. At home, my dad grew all kinds of vegetables and flowers. He also always had a small poultry he kept all the time, rotating different kinds of birds. Even when we moved houses, he took his farm with him. The only thing that changed was that we started from scratch to build a new garden. It wasn’t funny when I was a kid because these activities always stole into my playing time, and Daddy would never allow me join my friends until I was done with my lot. And then high school time, I had this fantastic agric teacher  (Mr Muhammed at FGGC, Oyo) that used scientific names of crops to make jest in class. He would say things like: “Look at your head like Carica Papaya.” This means “look at your head like Paw-paw. His style of teaching was so humorous that it captured my attention to knowing most of the plant names by heart, and then practical agriculture on the field in school became my best time as it just felt like home, before I knew it, growing plants became a lifestyle. Little did I know that I was being prepared for the future, that i would grow up to become an advocate for quality agricultural education, production and sustainability

Meet Jacintha

Am popularly called “Bose Elefo” by rural vegetable farmers as vegetables is my key expertise and that’s what I talk about everywhere I go. I am a social entrepreneur, a trainer, educator and promoter of sustainable vegetable production, marketing and consumption. I am a Global Shaper of the World Economic Forum (WEF)-Lagos Hub, a fellow of the African Women in Agricultural Research and Development (AWARD). I am an advocate for quality agricultural education and a strong believer that this will bring a transformational change for the next generation of agricultural experts and enthusiasts. I have 8 years experience in farmers engagement, rural development and youth empowerment. Everyday, what keeps me going is more engagement with women and youth for agricultural development.  I hold an MBA in food security from the Business School, Netherlands and a Bachelors degree in Soil science and Land resources management from the prestigious “Great Ife”

Inspiration behind The Green Generation Initiative 
While I was an undergraduate at Great Ife, I noticed a trend among my colleagues, medical and biological science students were regarded as the professional students with bright minds. Every session, I watched most of my colleagues struggle to change their courses “trying to cross from agric to health or biological sciences” departments until they got tired. So I started a personal research into finding out factors responsible and among all of them, what stood out was poor foundational skills. Many undergraduates had little or no direct encounter with agriculture before Uni, they saw no future with their studies and couldn’t wait to just graduate and do something else with their lives. I could say categorically that at least 50% of my colleagues in my set (B.Agric) are into other careers today. So when these findings became crystal clear to me, I sought ways to bring a solution to this. And when I got an opportunity to present my ideas (a platform that will boost young people engagement with agriculture from early education years to increase their interests, help them appreciate agriculture and prepare them for the challenges ahead), I did and in 2009, I won the firstprize on the Womenterprise Awards funded ExxonMobil Nigeria through Ideabuilders Initiative. The seed funding that came with the Award helped me establish school gardens in 6 chosen schools in Lagos and since then its been growing. Now through the work, we have trained as at today, teachers and students on practical agriculture skills in 123 schools in 2 geo-political zones in the country.

 



Challenges

A lot of times I receive unexpected looks and judgement. Many people hardly believe I can hold a hoe talk more of talk about agriculture because of my looks, light skinned and fragile looking. It’s only after several encounters that they believe I know what I am doing or talking about. It’s not been an easy time over the years, I must say. I have worked myself to the bone proving myself.

Poor Motivated teachers: Some teachers have low motivation to drive practical agriculture, they feel like its an extra burden. Its hard to sustain gardens in such environments when the leader isn’t passionate about it. So what happens is that after we have handed over the project to the school, they do not take care of the garden, and it usually ends there after we handover school projects to school



Co-authoring the book “School Vegetable Garden Manual for Secondary schools

The manual is a must-read for every school. It holds practical step –by-step guide for growing green leafy vegetables from planning for the garden up to harvesting the produce of 3 kinds of vegetables. The techniques also show environmentally smart techniques for production like the use and application rates for biologically derived insecticides to reduce/prevent insects invasion. It was fully sponsored under the Global Affairs project: MicroVeg so it’s not for sale.

Other project and activities

Our scope covers sustainable development through intensive collaboration with young people interested in agriculture, support and train smallholder farmers in climate smart technologies, land resource management, biodiversity conservation, agricultural entrepreneurship and nutritional education.

We are working with a Global Affairs Canada sponsored project to disseminate technologies to 21,000 farmers on Vegetable production technologies and innovations. This is in partnership with Osun state University and other partners like the University of Manitoba, Canada and University of Saskatchewan, Canada, Obafemi Awolowo University and University Of Parakou, Benin republic

We have also had successes in training rural women on integrating fresh vegetables into confectioneries. We linked over 200 farmers in Ogun and Ekiti state to receive over 30 million naira which they fully repaid back and this is bridging the gap between finance institutions and farmers

To increase youth engagement and empowerment, we launched “Grooming Leaders For Agriculture” also called GLA in 2017 creating a platform for young people interested in agriculture to sharpen their skills, develop their career path and grow. 
We match young people with mentors (professionals) sharing similar careers and also give hands-on training on vegetable production and agribusiness skills. We are using this to help fast-track their careers, expose them to opportunities and help them become better positioned. We now have 35 young people in the program. Read more..www.glainitiative.org

Greatest reward you have ever gotten for what you do?
My greatest reward isn’t in awards or funding. It has been in building people. The day I started receiving reports that our GLA volunteers had started adopting schools. I felt the best feeling in the world. Do you know what it means to see yourself replicated in others. You know if I were to die today, am certain that the dream will not die. The vision of reaching the younger generation and preparing them for the future is rolling and will reach every corner of Nigeria and this has been my greatest reward.  

Where do you see your brand in the next five years?
A hub for professionals working together and shaping agribusiness that is moving forward the agenda of food security and wellness for all in Africa


Was there ever a time you feel like giving up?

No. Thankfully I haven’t. 

Who and what inspire you to be better?
I have quite a number of people who stand out in inspiring me in my journey. They constantly keep at it and ever encourage me to keep being better: Prof Clement Adebooye, Lucy Kanu, Ndidi Nwuneli

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am a woman of rubies because I am living my life for the sake of the next generation. I am playing my part in contributing to the next generational leaders in food security, we cannot afford to make the mistakes our father made and have the same challenges we are facing today. 

Final word for young women all over the world?

Do not just live your life waking up in the morning, cleaning, cooking, serving or watching TV. Live a purpose-filled life, a life that leaves a positive legacy in your family and community. Your being a woman does not limit you in any way, if you cannot find energy within you to pursue this, find the right support group that works on this and collaborate with them to create that impact that’s needed. We need all women working together to make our world better. All women have this ability, lets use it wisely. 

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My Experience with Sexual Harassment Inspired Me to Launch My Modeling Agency – Juliet Ezeigwe

Juliet Ezeigwe is a Blogger, Vlogger, Model Coach and Scout, Content Creator, Speaker, Budding Producer, Publicist and a Women and Girl Child Advocate and TV host. A graduate of the Federal Polytechnic Idah, Kogi State, where she studied Science Lab Tech, final year student of Olabisi Obasanjo University(Part-Time), studying Mass Communication.

Alumni of Paradigm Initiative and CVL young entrepreneurs. Jules is not only passionate about modelling but envisages a modelling industry where we have just smart and Top Notch Models, away from the negative opinion people have about modelling and she has been using her platforms to advocate for this, She recounts one of her personal experience as a model, when the director of a modelling agency asked her to go to his room and take off her clothes, to ascertain if she was good for the job, and how she declined the offer with tears in her eyes and made up her mind at that point to have her agency devoid of sexual harassment and high respect for models.

She also has a deliberate interest in advocacy for abused women and girls, which makes her organize both online and offline events to help educate people on abuse. She is the convener of #HelpAnAbusedWoman, My Child, My Hero, Youngster Support Initiative, and the Walk against Abuse. The serial entrepreneur and advocate shares her story and journey so far in this interview.

Childhood
My childhood inspires what I do today, especially in the area of women and child advocacy. Growing up in Ajegunle, where we hear and see the constant beating of women by their husband, boyfriends hitting their girlfriends and a lot of sad tales of little girls getting raped by men old enough to be their fathers. I remember us going into our new neighborhood; I saw a lot of teenage girls get pregnant outside wedlock, I was really surprised, and I went about asking people why it seems young girls get pregnant here. The answers they gave made me cry. Poverty, rape, lack of personality development etc, and then I resolved to start up my NGO called Project F.A.W.A.

 Meet Juliet Ezeigwe

I am Ezeigwe Juliet Chioma, the first of 2 amazing girls to my parents. I loved and longed to be a model since when I was a teenager because I loved the girls that modelled for the Orange drugs company then, but unfortunately for me, I stopped growing tall after secondary school. Lol! For a long time, I was angry with myself, so I decided to give it a trial again in the year 2015, and that was when I thought I made the mistake of my life, which made me who I am and becoming.

I had put my picture on the Sun Girl page, and I got a lot of offers from people, to model for them. But the one, I can’t forget, was when the director of a modelling agency, asked that I go to his room and take off my cloth, so as to ascertain if I was good for the job. I declined the offer, looked at him very hard with tears in my eyes and said, give me 2 years I would have my modelling agency devoid of exploiting young ladies and guys. 2 years down the line, I am living that dream. I love travelling, talking, writing, teaching and inspiring people, especially young ones with my story. I think, I am a social media addict, but the beautiful thing is that I make money from it.

Inspiration behind Da Jules Media
The inspiration behind it, was when I attended entrepreneurship training at Paradigm Initiative, I went there like every other person that attended, but one of the facilitators did something for us on that day. He asked that we write down what we would love to achieve in the next 5 years, I wrote mine down, and today I am doing practically everything I wrote down. We were formally Da Jules World, but alone the time, we gained clarity and today we are Da Jules Media. I will say the inspiration behind the brand is to discover empower, celebrate, and encourage small business owners and models, with a deliberate interest in women and girl child advocacy

What Modelz Hangout is all about…
Modelz Hangout is an annual event, organized by Jules Modelz Academy where Aspiring, Upcoming and Professional models from all walks of life come together to discuss and share their experiences, peculiarities and the unique challenges they face in the industry. During this event, we have speakers, facilitators and panelists who take these models through the journey of Modeling, Fashion, Health and Fitness, Etiquette, Self Discovery, Personality Development etc.
As the name implies it is a hangout where models connect and get useful information and insights on how to take their career to the next level. I plan to go into filming and areas of producing and writing scripts.

Challenges
One challenge I face most importantly is getting funds to run the business.  Seeing that we are just new to the business, lots of people may not trust us enough to get models for their brands. One challenge we are currently facing is getting sponsors for the production of our short movie.

What sparked my interest in advocacy
Hmmm! What sparked my interest is the environment I come from., the fact that I was sexually abused as a child and I don’t want anyone to experience abuse. Another incident I remember vividly while growing up was when an Okada man raped three old girls in his compound, I was devastated, and it brought back ugly memories. There and then, I resolved to be a voice for abused women and children.

Projects and activities

I do a lot of projects, and the beautiful thing is that I am so passionate about them all.
Jules Modelz Academy:  We are fueled with the Paroxysm to Discover, Groom, Empower, Promote and Celebrate young talented models, bringing out the best in them, and providing them with bigger platforms to exhibit their talents. We also celebrate and promote Modeling Agencies/ Fashion Shows/Events. Our projects under this are. Modelz Hangout, Modelz Meet and Greet, Modelz Day Out, Teens Modelz Academy and Jules

Project F.A.W.A:  is a nonprofit organization that is aimed at making a world-class piece that captures the Emotions, Minds and Heart of people, to make an impact in our world living systems through lending our voices to humanities that are victims of abuse, in other to alleviate abuse to its minimal and affect a change in our society. Our projects, include, The Survivors, My Child, My Hero, Help an Abused, Woman and Walk against Abuse.

I am currently working on The Consequences (A short movie). This is a story about abuse, and how it affects society.

Greatest reward
That should be the love I get from people on a daily basis. People that come to my inbox, and tell me how I inspire them. Recently I have been soliciting help from my friends on Facebook for the movie, after our principal sponsor, backed out. The love and words of encouragement I get from them before and after helping are rewarding. It means they value me and all I stand for.

Where I see my business in five years
In five years, I envisage seeing Da Jules Media as the topmost digital, media and modelling company in Africa. I also envisage empowering top-notch models all over the world.

On giving up
Yes, I have. A lot of times. Most times, I just ask myself questions like, who sent you. Can’t you just leave this thing and go get a proper job? I have been depressed too. But then, I remember why I started and keep moving.

What and who inspires me

Yahweh is my first inspiration. My family comes second and then all the models and lives that are tied to mine do inspire me. The fact that I see my models doing things they love and enjoy inspires me.

I am a Woman of Rubies
I am a woman of Rubies because I Empower, Inspire, Motivate, Promote and Celebrate young women. I am a woman of Rubies because I don’t give up. I don’t see failures, I see feedback

Final words of advice

Don’t wait for the perfect time to start.  Start now and get better. Start small, but never remain small. “Imperfect Execution is better than Perfect Procrastination” (Steve Harris)

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THE CHIGOZIEM EMEREUWA STORY: FROM LOSING HER ENTIRE FAMILY IN AN ACCIDENT TO ACQUIRING PHD 

In August  2001, Chigoziem Emereuwa lost her entire family in a car accident that claimed the lives of all her siblings and parents, The beautiful graduate with  Phd in Pure Mathematics from University of Pretoria didn’t let that deter her from pursuing her dreams.

She went back memory lane on the fateful day that changed her life forever and said “I only remember being in the back seat, playing a travel game with my sister and then waking up in the hospital” ,my life switched from one moment to the other, I didn’t even get the chance to mourn properly as my aunts and paternal family made sure I wasn’t alone.

The part-time Assistant Lecturer at the Department of Mathematics at the University of Pretoria, South Africa shares her touching yet inspiring story and what kept her going in this interview.

 

Childhood

I loved my childhood, it is one of those times in my life I can’t stop talking about. It was filled with lots of activities, I played soccer, I climbed trees, I rode bicycles, I did a lot of outdoor activities and I also watched a lot of cartoons and movies. During school times, I played a little less because I had to go to school, do my homework and a little schoolwork afterwards. However, during the holiday, my mum wouldn’t register my siblings and I for holiday lessons because she believed that our brains need to rest, so we had all the time to do all the things I mentioned earlier. In a nutshell, that part of my childhood taught me that relaxing and taking a break is just as important as working. So in a way, yes, some parts of it made me who I am.

 

Losing my entire family in a fatal accident

During the first few years after the accident, I became a little moody, I wasn’t as playful as I used to be. I also began to spend most of my time indoors and my grades went down a lot too. My paternal aunt took me in immediately after my parents’ funeral, her children treat me like I am one them, since the last child is older than I am, I am now the official ”last born” of her family. However, she died after I got into the university but my cousins don’t treat me any differently till today, in fact one of them flew in to South Africa to attend my Masters graduation ceremony. Their unconditional love and support together with that of my paternal aunts, uncle, cousins and my Godmother got me through that painful time.

 

Being a PHD holder in Pure Mathematics..

I am not a PhD holder yet, I’m still in process. My paternal family helped me make the choice when I was applying for university, I continued with it because I realized that it creates a foundation for a lot of disciplines and career paths. I could be a lecturer, I could go into finance, I could do something that borders between Engineering, Physics and Chemistry which is what I am doing at the moment. The opportunities are endless. At the same time, I might increase the amount of females we have in the field and possibly inspire a few others to join in the fun.

 What and who inspire me

My inspiration comes from a lot of people and almost everything. When it comes to academics, I look up to my supervisor, his brilliance is quite intimidating. However, my paternal family has a few PhD holders and at the moment, I am not the only PhD candidate in my family. I have family here, my uncle is a professor in his field and his wife has two Bachelor’s degrees, two Masters degrees and an LLD so when I need a personal push, it’s always a phone call away. There aren’t a multitude of women in my field so anyone I meet or read about is an inspiration for me. Being an orphan, I admire anyone or group of people who try to make life easier for the less privileged especially because some of the people who give their time and resources don’t understand how much their gestures no matter how little gives hope to the less privilege. These things make me want to be in position where I can positively affect lives which in turn makes me want to be a better person. I really can’t make a list of people because it would be endless, I’m a gatherer of inspiration.

 

How I felt when my story went viral

I was overwhelmed, humbled and at the same time scared. It drew a lot of attention to me and I’m not used to that. It’s always been me, my family and my small circle of friends so when people I didn’t know started telling me how they found the story inspiring and motivating, I began to realize it too. I have lived my life thinking the story was sad and it might attract some sort of sympathy which I didn’t want so it wasn’t always the first thing I said. Now I am honored that people can draw motivation and inspiration from it.

 

Greatest reward

Personally, I find joy in teaching and interacting with students. When I get a result after so much work, the feeling is priceless. There is no greater reward than joy and affecting peoples’ lives positively.

 

Challenges

The greatest challenge is being in the right frame of mind. My career requires a lot of studying so my supervisor always reminds me that being in the right frame of mind is the key. This is because we have no external equipment, it mostly come from our minds, so even if we have all the tools we need (e.g theorems, articles…) and the books, we could spend months on a problem only to solve it in a matter of days when you’ve gotten the right momentum and focus. That is when that extra hour of study or the late nights pay off.

 

Women in my line of study have been given enough room to soar…

We are in a time where women empowerment seems to be the goal of a lot of organizations and institutions so we are given some sort of support and funding. Academia needs funding, with it you can attend conferences, buy the necessary books, sponsor your education and supervise students as well. For students, there are funding opportunities and some that are dedicated to women like Margaret McNamara Memorial fund, L’Or´eal-UNESCO for women in Science Programme, etc to help bridge the gap and motivate younger women to further their studies in the Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics(STEM) fields. There are also associations like African Women in Mathematics, that help give and find the necessary support that we need.

 Other projects and activities

Currently, I chair the Student Postgraduate Committee of the Mathematics and Applied Mathematics department at the University of Pretoria, I also represent my department in a similar committee at the faculty level. Occasionally, I do volunteer and assist with drives to gather supplies and clothing for the homeless.

 

On giving up

Well, it gets hard at times and I get tired, I need breaks which I take and wish could last forever but giving up is not an option and I remind myself that there is no room for that feeling.

 

I am a Woman of Rubies

I am someone who believe in possibilities. I am trying to lead a life that shows that we have to work hard to get to wherever we want to be but at the same time, understand that it is okay to ask for help when you need it.

 

Final word for women who have lost hope or in the process of giving up on themselves

All I can say is that life is beautiful, there’s always at least one person who hasn’t given up on you. So pray if you believe in God, focus on all the good things that has happened in your life so far and have faith that everything always works out in the end. When you find what you love doing, stick with it because in the long run, you will be grateful that you did and you might turn out to be a source of inspiration for someone else.

 

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 HAUWA OJEIFO IS THE ONLY FEMALE RECIEPIENT OF THE 2018 QUEEN YOUNG LEADERS AWARD IN NIGERIA

The Queen’s Young Leaders programme has announced that three Nigerians, Kennedy Ekezie-Joseph, Isaac Ezirim, and Hauwa Ojeifo have been chosen as three of the Queen’s Young Leaders Award winners in recognition of the lead they are taking in their communities to change lives.

The prestigious Awards programme, now in its fourth and final year, celebrates exceptional young people aged 18 to 29 from across the Commonwealth and the work they are undertaking to improve lives across a diverse range of issues, from supporting people living with mental health problems, helping children to receive a quality education, to promoting gender equality.

Kennedy, Issac and Hauwa will now join the Queen’s Young Leaders network of 240 Award winners, a unique community of influential change-makers, who represent all 52 Commonwealth countries. The winners  will receive their Award from Her Majesty The Queen at a special ceremony at Buckingham Palace in London, UK, next year.

Meet Hauwa Ojeifo

Hauwa Ojeifo has experienced a darker side of life. A bipolar and post-traumatic stress disorder diagnosis in 2015 led her to start She Writes Woman in April 2016, when she could not find any support group to help her through her mental illness.

She Writes Woman is a movement of love, hope and support for women with mental illness. In July, just three months after its creation, She Writes Woman launched the first 24/7 mental illness helpline in Nigeria and have received calls locally and internationally since, helping people better understand mental illness and most important providing them with the right professional help.

In the words of the 25-year-old Business Administration graduate and fashion enthusiast, “Mental illness is not a death sentence, it is not wearing rags by the road in a bin pile. That’s the picture that always comes to mind even unconsciously. I always tell people that you can live an extraordinary life even with mental illness. I don’t try to be normal, I am extraordinary despite and in spite of my mental illness”. Hauwa is living the dream, here’s her story.

Speaking on her award, the 25 year old activist has this to say; “It’s such an honour to have been chosen to receive a Queen’s Young Leaders Award – a rare privilege to become a part of this diverse group of young people who are selflessly serving their communities. I can’t wait to meet the other Award winners, learn about their work and how this programme will further empower us for social change. I’m really excited to see what the year ahead will bring.”

Queen’s Young Leaders programme was established in 2014 by The Queen Elizabeth Diamond Jubilee Trust in partnership with Comic Relief, The Royal Commonwealth Society and the University of Cambridge’s Institute of Continuing Education, in recognition of The Queen’s lifetime of service to humanity.

The Queen’s Young Leaders Award winners receive bespoke training, mentoring and networking opportunities, and take part in a residential programme in the UK, to help them build on the work they are leading in their communities. They join a now complete network of Award winners and, in tribute to Her Majesty The Queen’s lifetime of Service, will continue to connect and collaborate and change lives for years to come. Award winners will attend a residential programme in the UK in June, when they will receive their Award at Buckingham Palace from Her Majesty The Queen.

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“I Was Suicidal After My Marriage Broke Up”- Kemi Oyesola

Kemi Oyesola is the  Founder/CEO of How2Think Global Consulting Empire , a platform she founded in 2006 in sad circumstances after she separated from her husband of sixteen and half years. A situation that made her depressed and suicidal, but the mother to 2 adult children and  grandmother found hope in her hopeless situation and she uses her story to teach people how to think outside the box and control  their thoughts when faced with life threatening situation such as hers.  Coach Kemi  as she is fondly called is a certified Gold coach and also an NLP Practitioner. In her words: “I had to think my way into the  kind of life I desired. I had to accept first that I was responsible for where I found myself. Kemi shares her story exclusively with Esther Ijewere in this interview.

 Childhood

I think every one’s childhood prepares them for what they do later in life even if at that time they do not know it. We all at one time or another look back at our childhood and realise that we were like that so that we can do what we do now. My childhood was very happy. What I remember very clearly is that I was a talkative and got reported to my parents by my teachers throughout my primary school years. I also remember that I always wanted to take care of people, whether it was in my home or outside my home. I did not really understand why but I enjoyed caring for people. I was always helping or serving. I did wonder why I loved doing so much work – because, yes it was work. With hindsight which is 20/20, I realise now that I was born to take care of others which is what I am doing now. I talk for a living, whether as a speaker or when I coach or consult.

 

Inspiration behind How2Think

The inspiration was the breakup of my marriage. I wondered, especially as I worked at it how come my marriage broke up. I knew that I have only this time to live on earth as is; there is no Part B of this life lived just this way. I had to do the best of it as I have it now. I had to be separated from my now ex-husband to live the life I felt I was called to; to do the things that kept burning in my heart to do. I could not run away from it and although it hurt to break up my marriage, I am glad I did. I would not change it for anything. And so, it was at the point of break up I asked God why when the answer I heard was, “It’s because of the way you think. ’And that was how I started the search for what exactly it is to ‘THINK.’ I realised with my findings that I would have to teach others the ‘how’ of thinking because it was this that determined how we live and the results that we get. It is a deep thing, thinking and so many of us do not pay it attention. We need to think about what we think about. And that is how I was inspired to start How2Think Global Consulting Empire.

 Being Suicidal

I was suicidal after my marriage broke up and almost lost it… It was unexpected. It was unwanted. There was much pain and there was a long journey to the demise of my marriage and the consequences of such. I realised after the break up that it was my thinking that had got me where I was. Being a Christian and married to my Pastor, I knew that we had been serving faithfully and so asked God why my marriage broke. He answered, “Because of the way you think.” So, I picked up the Bible to find the word, ‘think.’ After all, I had never heard that word in church. But you know, that isn’t true. What I had not done was notice the word. After studying the Bible for a couple of days, I found the sentence, ‘… for as he thinks in his heart, so is he’ – and have been studying this ever since; and teaching it too. Many are not aware of how they think. It is the crux of everything, absolutely everything in life. Before you do anything, you think. The resultant effect of your thoughts is your character. Like any seed, thought is a seed and will grow. Therefore, you determine the harvest. But the learning was not in the study as it was in the living. After my ex-husband left, I went into depression and was exceedingly stressed but what was different was that I didn’t know.

I lost my hair and for over 10 years it did not grow until my son was almost 20 years old. I became exceedingly poor, so poor there were times I did not have heating in my house; I could not give my children pocket money to go to school; I was so poor I had to be evicted from my house. I was suicidal and wanted to jump from a very high place in order to kill myself. I brandished a knife on my ex husband – I wanted to kill him. I knew then that I was going kuku in the head and it wasn’t good. There are other things that happened to me that brought me to a low place.. That is another story. The highlight of this is that I had to come out of the depression and quit being stressed but I didn’t know how. I sought help from others, but they only told me what I already knew. I was sinking and sought to stay my head above water but I couldn’t find where or how.

A few times, I thought I needed medical help but I knew they would only tell me what everyone else had been telling me. I needed something to help me get out of the morass I was in. It wasn’t until after I knew I was the only one who could help me that it began to sink. I had the problem I was on a mission to teach. I had to overcome this problem otherwise I would be a hypocrite. I had to think my way into the kind of life I desired. I had to accept first that I was responsible for where I found myself. I had to accept that God had done all He was going to do and the buck rested with me. Nothing has been harder than that acceptance. And nothing has been freer than that acceptance. It took me a few years but I did it – and continue to do it. It is a life’s work. I know that I am on a mission, it is not just a vision – to help individuals learn how to think. I believe that your mind is set with your thoughts thus, I focus on Thought Set and not mind set. In fact, I do not teach mindset. I had no choice but to bounce back. At the age these things happened to me, I was in my early 40’s, I had read about so many tragic situations where the individuals ended up dead or their lives meant nothing because they had lost their mind. I just could not end up like that. It was tempting but it was also scary. It also felt like I would be a total failure if I did not overcome the heartache and the sense of failure that my marriage didn’t work. I knew there was a better way and it lay in how I was THINKING. I knew that no one person and no divine entity could make this happen for me. I did call on God for help, but the buck stopped with me. I remember at the point that I wanted to jump, hearing the voice of God telling me how strong the person was – who was the reason I wanted to jump to kill myself. That annoyed me. And it was enough for me to hear it, think about it and change my mind. But after that moment, I knew it had to be a daily decision to live and not give up. You see, giving up is the first step to becoming suicidal. Once one gives up, there is no reason to carry on in life; for what do you want to carry on doing? I decided to win in life; I could not be among those who lost. What reason would I give? It just didn’t make sense.

Instilling Values in my Kids

One value I have instilled in my kids and how I balance work and home life That one value I have instilled in my children is that they must win; they can do anything and they are not allowed to be stupid or poor. Winning is non-negotiable.

Balancing Home and Work

I balance home and work life by working from home and working for myself thus I have better control. Also, my children are adults now so it makes things so much easier although when they were younger, I was a housewife and worked from home when I started my business. If I had to go out as part of my business, I took my children with me. Even now, if my grandchildren must be with me and I need to speak at an event, I take them with me. It is important to me that they see what I do and learn too.

 

What and who inspires me

What inspires me is the work ahead that I still need to do. The fact that I can, except I decide not to. The fact that the work ahead is given to me because I can do it not because I cannot do it and so must work hard at it. Who inspires me are many – individuals who have faced hardship and overcome. Individuals like Les Brown, Nick Vujicic, Eric Thomas and others like them. They have made it through tough times and did not give up. They could give reasons today for their failures or inadequacies but they forged ahead. Now, for me, that is inspiring.

 

Greatest reward

The greatest reward is when I see the change in those I have helped. That change, the transformation is what I aim for. I must see it otherwise I have not done my job and there is no reward.

 

 

Challenges

Not being able to reach those I would like to work with because they do not see the necessity for knowing how to think. But more than that, when I can speak to clients, I have the awesome job of helping them understand the priority of knowing how to think. This is a huge challenge, but we get there in the end.

 

My perception of women in my industry

Women are amazing within the coaching industry and need to know this. The ability of a woman to want to help others and to start a business despite all the moving parts, is simply wonderful.

 

On giving up

Oh yes, of course I have had times when I want to give up. And I did give up on my business a few times but would come back. I have stopped that now because I find that success does not come to those who give up. Success comes to those who persevere and keep doing what they must do.

 

I am a Woman of Rubies

First, I love the ruby. I love red, it suits me and makes me glow. Red is a personification of who I am and what I stand for and one of my brand colours. A Woman of Rubies is a strong woman, I am strong; an able woman, I am able; a woman who believes she is unstoppable, am unstoppable; an indomitable woman, I am indomitable and a Woman of Rubies is a winner, I am a winner, period.

 

Final word for women who are thinking of going into the coaching and motivational speaking industry

Yes, one word of caution. Mind your own business with all you have got. No comparisons. Your business is yours and it is your responsibility to make it the very best that you can make it. Excellence is a non-negotiable. But before you get into business, be it coaching or any other kind of business, count the cost and hire yourself a mentor or coach. You will need their guidance on your journey. Do not go the journey on your own. It is harder and longer that way.

 

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ELSIE GODWIN : LET’S TALK ABOUT “RAPE”

Rape is very sensitive. I have had my almost rape experience by someone who I considered family.  A story I have on my blog. So this is not about not understanding what it feels like. Don’t try to be unfortunate while dropping your opinion in the comment section (or just sub me on your timeline, I promise I won’t see it)

We cannot keep talking about rape without talking about “False accusations” and “boundaries” 

A false accusation of rape is the intentional reporting of a rape where no rape has occurred. Sometimes when we start this conversations, we are termed insensitive and victim shaming. 

However, if we must talk rape then these other parts cannot be ignored. The idea of falsely accusing a man of rape is not something unheard of. 

Most of us saw the story of a man who spent the better part of his life in jail for a crime he didn’t commit – rape. 

Over the weekend, I read stories from different guys on Twitter. Stories that will leave you wondering if some ladies are mentally ill.

I am also glad that men are learning to speak up, sharing their stories instead of always waiting for the woman’s version then playing the victim. If you don’t share your stories, we cannot help you or understand you. 

Insulting or cursing girls out will not help anybody understand. Narrate and share. 

Dear Men, please Note that, at any point during intercourse or foreplay, once she says “NO”…”STOP”… whether she has received head, kissed you, held your penis, ate pizza, used free wifi, etc. If you continue, it is rape. 

Dear ladies, it is highly important for us to note that regret is not rape. We had sex but he didn’t date me, is not rape. He gave me ordinary 2000 for tfare’ is not rape.

“The cheque he gave me bounced when I got to the bank” is not rape. “He left me to date a girl lesser than I am” is not rape. “He stoped calling me after we had sex” is not rape

And this brings me to rape by deception. Sorry fam, the term exists, however, when reporting such case, please let us know it is rape by deception so we can learn from the deceit too 🤦🏼‍♀️👀

Like you thought he was a man but she is a woman. 😂 the English tire me sha. He told you he is the governor’s son but he is a carpenter… Gists like that 

Accusing a man of rape can ruin his life, destroy his career, drive him to depression and then suicide. It’s a horrible stigma we shouldn’t put on someone who isn’t a rapist. 

Please be sure it actually is rape before you pick your phone to type shit or report the case. And oh, btw, please let your NO be NO. 

The world is troubled enough and we don’t need mixed signals when it comes to sex. If you don’t want sex, please say it and mean it. Don’t say you don’t want sex but go looking for cuddle and spooning. 

“I have a boyfriend but I just want us to make out” what the hell is that? Is your boyfriend suffering from stroke? 

Guys should be able to have the maximum level of self control but please respect yourselves. Stay in your houses! Don’t make things complicated for people. 

Now we are at a point where the man has to keep asking at intervals, “should I stop? Does it feel like rape?” Common fam! 

Dear Men, please stay away from tipsy/drunk ladies. Stay away from children too (no be by age o). I don’t think it’s too difficult to know a lady is vibing with you sexually. Or do you guys need sex consent form now? 6

All I’m trying to say is, we are adults, humans and not animals. Let’s learn to take care of ourselves from beasts in human form. Take necessary precaution and respect your home training.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE : LIKE NATURE’S GENTLE TOUCH, IT’S TIME TO SPEAK UP 

I got an invitation to a walk against  domestic violence recently. Being that I have always stood against this vice, I was very happy to find out that others were as irritated as myself by the evil of domestic violence. What pleased me most was that this particular walk was backed by Natures Gentle Touch, Nigeria’s leading haircare brand. 

It turned out a very worthwhile experience. It was not the first time I would be walking against the social vice, neither would it be the last. What made this experience special and left fond memories with me and I guess most of the participants is that it was championed by a business, not just a corporate body but a Nigerian business.

This is very striking because in this part of the world, it is a known fact that the subject of domestic violence is one that the vast majority are pretty uncomfortable to discuss, no, not openly. Family and friends offer support and tend to encourage victims to endure, while suffering in silence. This is why it is rare to find a company willingly staking its head to freely talk against it. Why this is so, remains unclear. But the decision by Natures Gentle Touch to initiate discuss on the ills of domestic violence has indeed given a new twist to the issue, lending it a corporate backing  Aside leading in the walk against the social vice, the company I learnt also partnered on a film project titled “Omoye”, a movie on domestic violence which has generated lots of buzz in the public. This is highly commendable and something every other business should consider. The corporate world needs to get involved in the fight against this aberration. Like Natures Gentle Touch, we all need to speak up to defeat it!

While domestic violence is the violation of fundamental human rights, the prevalence of this social aberration is alarming and frightening as well. Available statistics on domestic violence in Nigeria shows there is no signs of it lessening. Infact it is believed that as many as two thirds of Nigerian women experience physical, sexual and psychological abuse at the hands of their husbands or partners. Shockingly, a huge number of pregnant women are reported to go through this horrible experience.

Though the issue of domestic violence isn’t only restricted to women, (there is a growing number of cases of violence against men), they are the most affected given our dysfunctional cultural system that places the man above the woman. Violence against a wife is seen as a tool that a husband uses to chastise his wife and to correct her. To make matters worse, even some of the victims, don’t see anything wrong with it.

I recall sometimes ago while I was a Corper. I had a roommate who shared her horrible experiences with her then boyfriend. According to her, this guy for simple reasons as her not picking his calls, would verbally abuse her and even beat her.  Infact forceful sex became his way of making up with her, and surprisingly, this girl saw all of this as a sign of love.

Another story plays out in a church. A pastor had called on the men who beat their wife to come out for deliverance and here you had this man who decided to come forward and be delivered from what he believed to be an abnormality. He was quickly stopped by the wife, who felt ashamed and inadequate.

Domestic violence takes many forms including physical, sexual emotional and mental. The commonest forms being rape, acid attacks, molestation, battery and corporal punishment. Unfortunately these cases are under reported because of the unwillingness on the part of victims to talk about their experience, largely due to shame or fear.

And this is where the big challenge lies; the need to encourage victims to speak up and get help. As with all evil, it is important we continue to create awareness about the menace of domestic violence, possibly shout it on the roof top, because truth be told, domestic violence affects not just the victim but everyone collectively and most importantly children who watch the acts being committed. It predisposes them to trauma and other psychological problems throughout their lives and eventually they also most of the times become abusers as well, hence the cycle continues.

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CONFIDENCE EDOLOR : ONE PLACE, SEVERAL ROUTES.

I grew up loving the whole idea of looking beautiful behind a seat and reading off a sheet or screen.

I wanted to be a newscaster so Mass Communication was the answer.

However, i got to the university only to realise that news-reading wasn’t even a course.

I met courses like Graphics of Mass Communication, News writing, Photo-Journalism,e.t.c

Needless to say i was shocked.

All i want to do is read. Not all these hard courses. What has it got to do with looking pretty on TV?!

Don’t blame me.

I was fresh out of Secondary School and didn’t have much knowledge on how things worked.

I eventually adapted and discovered there were innate skills that were sharpened by those courses.

I began to understand me: my strengths, likes, dislikes, talents.

I saw the path i naturally drifted to and it positively affected my grades in courses like English, Feature and Article writing, Broadcasting e.t.c

When i left the university, i decided that i might do a thing or two with the print media but i must read news on TV.

I also realised i liked to talk about issues so i quickly added OAP to my ‘newscaster-ambition’.

It all worked out in my head till rubber met the road.

I went to broadcast stations, submitted CVs, went for interviews and got turned down.

No job! Nothing!

That they said ‘no’ was not the worst part.

Naa.

 It was the fact that it would take them months to say no!

Wasting my time, wasting the money spent on frequent visits to their office, wasting my hopes!

I couldn’t keep staying at home. I needed to go out.

I re-wrote the CV severally and began applying for the position of a teacher, teller, correspondent, customer relations officer, administrative clerk, supervisor, receptionist, marketer…everything!

In fact, i actually went to a hotel and was told they needed a waitress.

I would have gladly accepted but that guy said i didn’t have previous work experience!

But Oga, shebi it’s just to serve tea??

OK, i can learn naa.  

 

All the while, the desire to express myself was becoming strong.

I wanted to speak (and sing) words that provide direction, give encouragement and walk someone through a phase of their life.

Truthfully, that day i needed that job as a waitress but deep down i didn’t want it.

I needed a job but not just any job. It had to be the radio or TV!

I thought i wouldn’t be able to live out my dreams and express my desires if i don’t get a job as an OAP. Or how else would i reach people the way i wanted to?

How would i, if i signed up for any of those other things i was applying for?

Finally, i got a job as a marketer, an editor and later as a home tutor but i was still pinning for a time when i’d speak.

Gradually, i was becoming inflexible.

The temptation to carry on half-heartedly with the tutoring job was there.

I kept asking myself what it had to do with my dream, my goal, my big picture?

 “This is not what i planned .This is not where i should be. This road doesn’t lead to the place i’m going”, i’d often think.

It felt like i was going the opposite direction.

Currently, i work in the Human Resources and Administration department of an organisation.

I remember almost disregarding the opportunity when it came.

I’m glad i didn’t.

Now, i’m beginning to learn that sometimes you flow with the tide, hoping and trusting you reach land safely.

I’ve not reached yet. I still want to speak and sing. I still want to motivate, inspire and create positive, long -lasting impact in the lives of people.

Yes, i still love the idea of reading and presenting but reminiscing on the journey thus far, i discover i had already started living my dreams.

I had begun towing the path without even realising it.

Apart from the people around me who seek for advice on issues, my job entails i speak to people on daily basis. I’ve not just collected CVs and issued queries.

The highlights have been saying something helpful to a colleague who’s having a bad day and being able to relate with an applicant’s struggles even as i say, ‘’no vacancy’’ – the same things i was longing to do on TV and radio.

Now, i don’t just see a job. I see people. I see me. I see purpose.

I realise that i can still be me in several ways, doing varied stuff.

I’m not fixated on what i think i should have been. I’m learning to adapt, to maximise the now.

I’m learning to walk with God, to “trust and obey for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus…”

You know that song, right?

 

I still don’t have it all figured out but i choose to take the route in front of me rather than wallow in indecision and deal with regrets later.

I’m still learning. I make mistakes but i choose to be on this path.

This path where i don’t need to wait for perfect conditions nor the dream job to do what i know i can do…to be who I am.

Maybe like me, you have your own big picture.

An image that makes your heart beat faster. The ‘one place’ you’ve always wanted to go.

A place where you know you’d be fulfilled and satisfied.

It might not be job- related. It might be going further in your education, becoming the best at what you do, starting up your own company, heeding the call of God on your life…

Start where you are with what you already have.

Be excellent at it.

If there are better places you think you should be, go there.

However, if for some reasons you can’t be at that desired spot. Then, treat the available like it was the desired.

Enjoy it. Give it the needed attention and zeal you would have given ‘the place’.

You may not know it but there are valuable lessons you can learn on this spot, at this stage of your life.

Lessons that would come in handy when you eventually get to ‘the place’.

You may have been experiencing too many detours already but who says you won’t get there?

Be open-minded. Be flexible.

Be willing to adapt.

Be you.

In whatever shade. In whichever way.In whatever circumstance.BE YOU!

There may be ‘one place’ but it’s allowed and it’s possible to have several routes.

Explore.

Live in the moment.

Live to the fullest.

 

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