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Even if you hit a roadblock in your relationship, these 10 tips will tell you if you’re on the right track.

Crisis can come upon couples unexpectedly and rattle even the most solid of relationships. No matter how smitten you are with your honey, doubt may creep into your mind, clouding your vision of a perfect match. So how do you really know if this relationship is right for you? Here are a few ways to find out:

  1. Moral support

When your friends and family want to see you and your partner together, there is something to savor. Sometimes outside perspective is needed to see things you are too close and emotionally invested in to appreciate or view clearly. Don’t base the value of your relationship on the opinion of others, but listen to the voices you love and respect.

  1. Fair fights

When a fight does break out, it’s a clean one. Your arguments work toward resolving issues and solving problems while still appreciating each other’s feelings and needs.

  1. New issues

Your issues are new issues. Past problems actually get worked out and don’t come back up to bite you. Old resentments don’t get brought up in new arguments, and old dirt doesn’t get thrown around in current conversations.

  1. Hard work

You’re both willing to put in the work. You jump into action without skipping a beat, and you work on an issue until it’s over. No hesitations.

  1. Growing together

You and your partner are evolving together emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Growing closer is easy and a natural course of your relationship.

  1. Major change

You are both naturally changing for the better because you are happier being who you are this new way. Not because he asked you to change, and certainly not to keep him. Maybe you never wanted children, and now you can’t wait to be a parent with your partner. Or maybe he always needed his space, and now being away from you feels incomplete.

  1. Life partners

You don’t see yourself or your life without him. And you know he feels the same way.

  1. The L-word

“Love” rolls off the tongue effortlessly. You can’t imagine not saying it; that would hurt too much. You need to say it, you want to say it and it brings you joy. And it’s the same for him.

  1. Spiritual connection

There’s just something cosmic that pulls you two back together when you drift apart. It’s unexplainable. But it’s there. And it’s always for the better for both of you.

Love is blind

You don’t see anyone else as a potential partner, and you’re not interested in building any kind of connection with another. No one comes close to the amazing person you have. Physical attraction may pop in and surprise you, but the desire for intimacy or emotional connection doesn’t develop.

Knowing when you are right where you should be can be difficult in the midst of it. Hindsight may be 20/20, and if you’re the type that doesn’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, keep your eyes open and see what blessings you have in your love. Let this list encourage you to keep going and keep the faith when the road gets rough and blue skies go gray. You can build a beautiful home for yourself and your family when you appreciate everything and everyone in it.

 

Everyday we hear horrible stories of victims of sexual assault, domestic violence and all sorts of inhumane treatment which women in Nigeria are exposed to. Society begins to ask questions like: why did she stay? Why didn’t she leave? But, where will these women go to?

Most times they can’t go back to their parents, out of shame, or for of reproach. Other times it’s because they are financially incapable or leaving; the weight of the despair and helplessness is heavy upon them. So, they stay… waiting for hope, salvation, peace and a quiet from all the noise. Sometimes the silence comes only when they’re dead.

What can be done to reduce the number of victims of domestic violence and rape? Where is the safe haven for women?

Dr. Kemi DaSilva Ibra‘s new organization, Women at Risk International Foundation, is providing a safe haven for victims. She shared, with BellaNaija, the inspiration behind the foundation.

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Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-governmental organization that was incorporated in 2016 by Dr. Kemi DaSilva-Ibru in response to the high incidence of sexual assault, rape and human trafficking occurring among young girls and women in Lagos State and across Nigeria.

As a practicing Obstetrician and gynaecologist with 10 years experience in this health space, I have noted over the years, a rising number of gender based violence cases directed at young girls and women. I have also witnessed and treated first-hand the harrowing effects of rape and sexual violence amongst these women in our communities. Characteristics such as the age, religious affiliation, race or social economic class of the young girls and women I have treated over the years is also varied. These effects from the assault are both immediate with physical and psychological harm experienced by the affected women who I believe should be seen and referred to as “survivors” and not “victims” and the long term, with social consequences such as an increase in the rate of new HIV cases, unwanted pregnancies and adverse effects on the education and empowerment of the girl child in our society.

Although the country data available on this problem is limited, the numbers are alarming with findings from a national survey carried out in 2014 on Violence Against Children in Nigeria confirmed one in four females reported experiencing sexual violence in childhood with approximately 70% reporting more than one incident of sexual violence. In the same study, 5.0% sought help, with only 3.5% receiving any services.

The foundation serves to address this issue of gender based violence, through the successful implementation of target –oriented initiatives; The first immediate intervention was the opening of the foundation’s first sexual assault referral centre in Yaba – WARIF Centre – which serves as the prototype for a warm friendly safe haven for women at risk. It provided through qualified full time staff, medical treatment and forensic examinations needed especially within the first 72 hours of an assault; Psychosocial counselling is carried out by trained social workers who obtained specialized training by staff from the Washington DC Rape Crisis Centre in Washington DC (one of the organizations in partnership with WARIF). A 24-hour confidential help line is also available at the centre to address the needs of those who call for assistance or to report an assault.

WARIF has a strong collaborative spirit and works with many organizations in the same health space. We have developed strong international and local collaborative ties with both government and non – government agencies to assist in addressing the social welfare needs that often times arise in the care of young girls and women at risk. This is done through the provision of shelters, legal aid and vocational skills. As an official member of the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence (DSVRT), WARIF continues to work closely with government agencies including the judiciary and law enforcement in addressing the prevalence of gender based violence in our communities.


Other on-going preventive initiatives is the implementation of strong advocacy campaigns to raise awareness, such as the #menforWARIF campaign seen on International Womens Day 2017; an impactful social media campaign where male participants engaged and shared personalized fliers with endearing quotes passing on a crucial message to end sexual violence and discrimination against women.

The WARIF Educational School Program commencing in May 2017 is also set to raise awareness and educate the adolescent boy and girl child in various Lagos State Secondary Schools, through the implementation of a specially designed youth educational program on Gender Based Violence, introduced into their school curriculums.

As a nonprofit organization, all the services provided by the foundation, including all services provided by the WARIF Centre are offered FREE of charge. The foundation relies solely on donor funding from organizations, corporate bodies and private individuals.

For more information about WARIF:
Visit our website – www.warifng.org
Follow us on social media (Facebook, Twitter and Instagram) – @warif_ng

What you don’t know CAN hurt you. These five things are hurting your wife and killing your marriage.

It’s tough being a man these days. Modern men are expected to be sensitive, caring and in tune with their feelings; while at the same time they’re still expected to be strong, protectors and able to fix anything that breaks. Men can’t be too sensitive or they’re not being good enough protectors. On the other hand, they can’t be too protective or else they’re not being sensitive enough.

As men, we try to navigate this balance between being caring and being strong. And because it can be such a fine line, there are a lot of times we fail. And there are things we do that are hurting our wives and killing our marriages. Here are five:

  1. Not providing the basics for the family

As a man, it is your responsibility to provide for your family, regardless of whether or not your wife works. Sometimes this means working a few overtime shifts so your kids can sign up for that baseball league. And sometimes this means biting your lip when your boss is being a jerk because you need the stability for your family. But it makes it all worth it when you come home at night and see the smiles on everyone’s face.

  1. Pessimism

Ever since you were a kid, you were taught to, “Man up,” and, “Don’t cry,” just to accept the fact that bad things just happen in life. While this is good advice sometimes, your wife also needs you to be an optimist. Your relationship will need to rally from all kinds of challenges, failures, hurt feelings and health problems. Your wife doesn’t need someone to tell her to stop crying, she needs a shoulder to cry on.

  1. Withholding physical affection

Yes, men do this, too. Physical affection is more than just sex. It includes giving her hugs before you leave for work, holding her hand in the aisle at the grocery store and pulling her close to you when you’re watching a movie on the couch together. If you’re withholding these things from her, you’re withholding physical affection that she thrives on. The affection you try to show inside the bedroom will never make up for the physical affection you show her outside the bedroom.

  1. Putting other things first

Of the hundreds of girls you knew and dozens that you dated, your wife was the one you picked to spend the rest of your life with. She needs to know that you still pick her. Every time you check your smartphone when you’re out together or every time you come home late from work without calling you’re sending her a message that she’s not important to you. Consequently, she wonders if you still care about her as much as when you first got married.

Your work is important, but don’t forget what you’re working for. Remember that there’s nothing on your phone that’s more important than what’s going on right around you.

Lastly, Not speaking her language

Women need to know they are loved and that you are grateful for her. You think you’re showing love by going to work every day and bringing home a paycheck, so most of the time you don’t do much more than that (except maybe on Valentine’s Day).

But, she needs more than that to see your love and she needs you to show her that you’re doing it all for her. So take a little extra time and do something special. Send her a couple texts during the day or bring her home some flowers from the grocery store. You might be surprised at the reaction you get.

Source: Familyshare

 

Nigerian sisters Chinelo Chidozie and Ndidi Obidoa, are very familiar with this struggle. So they started beauty line, Bolden, to help expand the beauty options available to women of color, and support communities that produce shea nuts (which they use in their products) in Burkina Faso. Chinelo and Ndidi used shea butter a lot growing up, so it was only natural that it would play a huge part in their beauty product line.

When their customers started complaining about hyperpigmentation—or, the discoloration of darker skin due to sun exposure, they started investigating why sunblock leaves a white residue on darker skin – one of the reasons why people of color don’t use it.

In an interview with OkayAfrica, Chinelo says:

“A lot of black people don’t wear sunblock because they don’t see the damage immediately. There’s an issue with education around sunscreen in the black community.

Even though skin cancer doesn’t affect people of color as much as it affects people with white skin, that makes it more dangerous because it’s often not caught until it’s in an advanced stage.

[When buying beauty products] I always ask myself, ‘Is this a product that will leave a white cast on me?’ and then I realize, whoever made the sunblock probably didn’t have me in mind. As consumers, we’re so used to trying products to see if they’ll work. In 2017, that’s not okay.”

(Photo: OkayAfrica/Bolden)

(Photo: OkayAfrica/Bolden)

Bolden was created to fill the obvious gap in the beauty product market for people of color, the sunscreen is developed with a formula that acts more like a moisturizer than a sunscreen; it’s a cream-colored serum that dries clear on the skin. Chinelo says:

“We’ve tested it on ourselves and a wide spectrum of skin tones, and the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. Folks are very excited that we are increasing the number of product options that work really well for their skin concerns.”

The sisters are on a mission to make sure that consumers don’t have to settle one-style-fits-all products that don’t suit their needs.

(Photo: OkayAfrica/Bolden)

(Photo: OkayAfrica/Bolden)

Source: Konbini.com

A young lady was not about to waste time feeling sorry for herself when she was unable to get a date for prom so she did the unexpected and showed up for the event with her Harvard acceptance letter as her date. Priscilla Samey, 17, is an exceptional student who got accepted into 7 out of 8 Ivy league colleges.
However, in spite of her acceptance into these prestigious institutions, the boys in her class did  not accept to go to prom with her, so this daughter of West African immigrants made do with the available.

On the night of prom, Priscilla dressed as beautiful as possible and stepped out with one of her acceptance letters.

She took a photo with the acceptance letter, looking like she did not have a care in the world, and shared it on Twitter with the caption:

“Couldn’t find a man to accept me for prom so I took a college that did #Harvard2021 #prom2k17”.

The tweet blew up really fast and has now garnered 28,000 retweets and 124,000 likes with lots of social

Your body has become a canvas of red, blue, and black.

Your mind has become a wasteland wrecked by cruel words that fall like hail.

Yet you stay!

You’ve built an altar to that which loathes you (…)

My mind says I should make this a poem.

Loving someone that hates you is stupid, not romantic. Toni Braxton’s “Let It Flow”, which was one of the soundtracks of the movie “Waiting to Exhale”, is very apt for people in abusive romantic relationships.

It goes:

You see the thing ‘bout love is that it’s not enough if the only thing it brings you is pain. There comes a time we could a make a change. Just let go. Let it flow. Everything is going to turn out right… We all demand respect, but we can’t get respect without change… Sometimes love can work out right; sometimes you’ll never know. But if it brings only pain in your life, don’t be afraid to let it go.

When Toke Makinwa published her storm-raising memoir, some of us read it and blamed Toke for staying in an abusive relationship. They make it seem as though walking out of an abusive relationship is as easy as eating ipekere. People are stuck in Stockholm.

Emotional Stockholm syndrome is a real thing; however, people that trivialise mental health will dispute this.

Then again, some people romanticise abuse. If you are in doubt, listen to the lyrics of Niyola’s “Toh Bad”. The song goes: “But sometimes it kills me – the kind of things that you do. I’m trying not to cry. Tears are hard to fight. It is hard to let you go (…) I’ve tried to run away from you baby. How can I live without you?”

Well, for starters, there are several reasons, varying from person to person, that explain why people – men and women – stay in abusive romantic relationships. Unfortunately, love is not one of the reasons. Other sinister, negative emotions make us stay. When you consider these factors (emotions), you might not be so quick to victim-blame anyone in an abuse romantic relationship.

Below are few reasons that explain why women stay in abusive romantic relationships:

The first is fear. Fear clips your wings before you know you have the ability to fly. Some of us in abusive relationships are scared of the unknown. The concept of starting anew with someone else could be petrifying. Something about change, a break from routine, is quite daunting. The married ones among us begin to fear what society would say. Society places such importance on marriage, and when your marriage fails, it sees you as a failed woman. There is fear of financial security, too. Not having personal financial strength could hold back a person from leaving an abusive relationship. It could be that he/she gets certain benefits from the abuser.

In a twisted way, imagining our lover in someone else’s arm could stir jealousy in the pit of our stomachs, and we just stay to see if we can it better. Also, feeling we have invested much into a romantic relationship makes us try to make it work. “We have come so far and I just can’t quit. I can’t leave a house because the windows are shattered. I have to stay and fix it.” That is what some people say. But houses are not people. You can fix a house; you cannot fix a person.

Pity is another factor that contributes to people staying with abusive partners. Lover goes on to quote Chicago’s song. “If you leave me now, you’ll take away the biggest part of me. Baby, please, don’t go”.  Abusers are manipulative. They know the right things to say to guilt-trip us into staying with them. We pity them and feel obligated to stay behind because they make it seem as though they have built their world around us.

At times, it could be that a woman is “dickmatised”. The sex is just so good and she does not want to leave. It happens. Talk about toxic, chemical romance.

People in abusive relationships believe they stay for love, but in the real sense, dark emotions are at play. Leaving is not always easy.

Then again, should we feel pity for women that DECIDE to stay in abusive relationships? From the onset, your sixth sense would tell you the person is bad for you. Tell-tale signs float before your eyes. Watch the way they react to other women, especially sex workers. Asides that, it could be that they are manipulative. They seek to control you, too. The prospective lover shows signs of misogyny – talks down your achievements; patronises you; doesn’t listen to you and respect your perspectives; asserts masculinity to the point it stifles you (that is if it is a heterosexual love affair); sees you as a body, not a mind; becomes too possessive. You can’t miss these signs. You don’t stick your finger in fire when you know it is hot, right?

For me, the best we can do for loved ones in abusive romantic relationships is to drag them out of it, because they are not thinking straight. In fact, at that point, your words are like water flowing into a sieve.

Leaving is hard – it is going to hurt so bad, but we all have to leave toxic relationships for the sake of our sanity.

P.S. This post refers to all types of abuse – physical, emotional, and sexual.

P.P.S. Many types of relationship hurt us. They could be romantic, filial, business, or platonic, you name it. There is no point staying in situations that don’t favour us. Maybe we are scared to leave out of fear of the unknown. But “if you never try, you’ll never know”.

P.P.P.S. Men are also victims of abuse in different relationships, but society seems to dismiss and mock men that speak up; hence, men are compelled to suffer in silence, not vent their pain. We need to stop ridiculing men that speak up. Having a penis doesn’t mean one should suffer in silence. Men should be vocal about their issues.

P.P.P.P.S. I’m in an abusive relationship with Arsenal. Why haven’t I left? I don’t even complain about the club anymore because it doesn’t make sense. I mean, I can quit, but I have decided to remain. There is Chelsea and Barca, but look at me. Why do I keep hurting my feelings by myself? Kanu Nwankwo that made me fall in love with Arsenal is no more there, but here we are.

 

Cisi Eze

About Cisi Eze

Cisi is a freelance writer and 2D animator. To kill boredom, she reads anything and everything in sight. Cisi wants to bring positive social change in Nigeria by provoking people to rethink and reconsider certain beliefs they have clutched to their chests like it were a medal. She aims to do this through every form of art at her disposal. Cisi lives in Lagos, Nigeria

Source: Bellanaija

Thhere is a trending topic on Nigerian Twitter today and it has been quite interesting to see the different responses and opinions.

The trending topic is the “obligation” on guys to sort out the transportation of their lady friend whenever she visits. Should it be an obligation?

Share your thoughts and see some tweets from TwitterNG on our website

Wearing minimal make-up and with her long, dark hair loose, Shade, who has made sure her life was never a round of dinner parties and social engagements and visits to clothiers and jewellers, says, “since I assumed office as MD of Eleganza Industrial City, I have repositioned the company positively. Eleganza Industries Limited had suffered a major setback in the past, but because my husband, Chief Rasak Okoya, has a passion for the industry, the company came back on board again, bigger and better as Eleganza Industrial City Limited and the new direction is moving towards being a foremost producer of chairs, tables, coolers, baby diapers sanitary pads, luggage, pet bottles, soaps spanning over not just West Africa, but its product will also be exported all over the world.”

She is responsible for the day-to-day management of the company, which started operation in 2012 situated on over 35 hectares expanse of land along the Lekki Epe Expressway.

She gestures to one of her staff to bring a catalogue containing the company’s work, and says softly, “my business acumen and encouragement from my husband has always placed me on my feet. I also thank God for the good health, because without sound health I can’t do anything or plan.”

Born in Lagos on April 25, 1977, into the family of the late Alhaji Taju and Alhaja Nimota Adeleye, from Ijebu Ode in Ogun State, Folashade had her early education in Lagos, where she grew up. She read Banking and Finance at the Lagos State Polytechnic, Isolo, where she bagged an Ordinary National Diploma (OND). She later studied Sociology at the University of Lagos.

“I grew up in a family, where discipline was the watchword, a family that did not compromise on respect, irrespective of your age. When I grew up under those circumstances, I had no difficulty taking after my grandmother. She was everything to me. May her soul rest in peace,” she says.

The University of Lagos-trained sociologist giggles, “though, people would say that a child brought up by granny would be spoilt, mine was strict.”

The sixth of seven children confesses: “I had a strict, but loving upbringing. My childhood memories are still very fresh. My grandmother was very strict and apart from that, she was a businesswoman. I learnt part of that from her. Majorly, I was determined that I wanted to be a businesswoman when I grow up and make money for myself.”

She says, shrugging slightly, “my grandmother was there for us. I can still remember, in most cases, when I come back from school, my granny will go through my books to ensure that they are complete. Though she was not educated, she embraced education and watched me grow educationally from the cradle. She taught me how to tidy up the house, wash clothes clean and dress neatly.”

According to the lady, “what my grandmother was for us is what my mother is doing for my children. They know their parents are there, but the person the get to see most is their granny.”

She recalls with a wry smile, “my experiences in school were mixed, but I had always been moved by my grandmother to embrace education, remain focused and be prayerful. However, knowing and getting married to my husband catapulted me to my greatness today.”

Best known for her ebullient personality, Shade, who has been bestowed with traditional titles such as, Bewaji of Lagos, Otun Aare Iyalaje of Ajiranland, Yeye Oge of Epe Land and Ajisewa of Oke Ona Egba, has interest in many areas of business. Currently, she is the Managing Director of Eleganza Fashion Products Limited, Eleganza Cruise & Travels Limited, as well as a member Board of Eleganza Group and RAO Investment Property Company Limited.

“One of the greatest challenges of doing business in Nigeria is energy to power the industries, instability of FOREX and the importation of goods that are being produced locally and of high quality. When we were planning all these lines of our business, we never knew Forex was going to be an issue, but we are already in it. We thank God that we are surviving,” she says.

The company has over 2,000 workers thereby providing employment to the citizens of Lagos State and its environs. “Our vision is to be the foremost producer of various household items in Nigeria within the next two years. We also intend to commence the exportation of household items to other African countries.”

She insists, “with good policies on the ground, the business environment will blossom and the economy will improve.” You ask, what has been the greatest challenge of being Mrs Okoya? She says, “I have no challenge being Mrs Okoya. The challenge I have is working in Eleganza as the MD. Things are really difficult in the country now. The economy is not what it used to be. The challenge I have now is being MD of Eleganza Industrial City Company and running it day-to-day.”

She, however, adds: “At the initial stage of our married life, when I looked into the future of the business empire of my husband, but he taught me how to make use of every minute and today, I’m singing another song of success got from hard work and dedication to duties.”

She adds: “I’ve always looked forward to being a businesswoman. Being married to my husband has added to that. I don’t believe in failing. I get a little bit shy of failure. I don’t want to fail in whatever I tried to do. It’s a is a no-go area for me.”

Being married to the industrialist and businessman, Chief Rasaq Akanni Okoya CON, the Chairman and Chief Executive of the Eleganza Group of Companies, however, will pale to insignificance, if she is not a hard worker.

“These days, young people think that to get married to a wealthy man is to eat, spend money and be laid back. I don’t believe in the phrase ‘be pretty, sit down and enjoy.’ My husband made it very clear to me that he was not going to get married to a lazy person. So, I got my priorities right from the day one,” Shade enthuses.

Was it love at first sight for her and her husband?
“It wasn’t love at first sight because I was really young then. He didn’t pretend about the whole thing when he met me. He saw and liked me. He told me he wanted to marry me. I don’t know for him, but for me, it wasn’t love at first sight. I liked him as a person and he was really generous. Those were the qualities and attributes that contributed to where we are now,” the mother of four beautiful children says.

Both of them got married 18 years ago and every day has been love, love and love. She explains, “I met him at a really young age and he liked me and we both respected each other. He is generous to a fault and always very caring. I thank God for my life and it has been 18 years all along. I wish that he would be around for many more years in good health. He is my chairman and I work under him, he gives me my daily bread and thousands of others. I love working for him. Apart from the fact that when I finish from work, I have a wonderful home to go to, I have a happy family. My husband is amiable, full of fun and loving. There is never a dull moment being with him. I must confess that I’m fortunate to have my husband; he is very loving, caring and understanding. My advice to young ladies is to pray to God to lead them to the love of their heart.”

The hardworking wife has not allowed her busy schedules to affect the home, being a parent and her responsibility to domestic obligations. Shade jokes and chats with her children, while simultaneously tidying up, cooking a meal and checking their homework before going to bed.

Just like what my grandmother did for me, that’s what my mother is doing for my children.
“I create time for my family,” she says.

Is she an extrovert or introvert?
She draws a long laugh and says, “I don’t know. I’m both. I’m reserved and also an extrovert. I’m shy to a fault and people take my shyness to mean arrogance. I’m social, accommodative, and I hate to keep words in my mind. I believe that postponed issues remain inconclusive. With this practice, I trash issue and move forward.”

She enjoys attending parties and social functions. She also likes dressing fine, “because I’m a fashionista and a role model for other upcoming female entrepreneurs and high flyers.”

Gossips don’t get to Folashade. She says, “it’s only idle minds that gossip. I know what I do and I believe that people close to me know who I am. Gossips don’t get to me in any way.”

For Mrs. Okoya, “Nigerians are very lovely people, who are ready to render helping hands at times of needs. Very respectful and beautiful people. But I dislike the young ones taking the short route to riches, killing of innocent souls, stealing, fighting and quarrelling. I hate the corruption, fraud and the get-money-quickly spirit.”

On her beauty routine, she has this to say: “I don’t spend time on making myself up, let me correct that impression. I work in the factory, and our offices are still being constructed. I spend about 10 hours here on a daily basis, so, what kind of beauty routine do you expect other than getting home and hitting the bed. I’m a housewife and mother; so, I have to cook for the family. The kind of work I do here trims me naturally. I don’t have to go to the gym for anything else. I don’t compromise on what I want to eat. I’m particular about my food. If you eat right, you will look right.”

Shade Okoya’s hobbies include, cooking – and she loves everything about beans. “I used to eat a lot beans – gardening and travelling. Her best destination is Las Vegas.

The fashionable woman, highly sociable and generous, is also a renowned philanthropist and she is very supportive of her members of staff. She has also built a commendable bridge of good relationship not just with her family but also across the society.

She has been bestowed with awards such as, Most Valuable Business Executive of the Year, in 2014, conferred on her by the board of trustees and Advisory Council of International Centre for Corporative Leadership for African and Blacks in Diaspora, Accolades International Magazine Limited Glamour Woman of the Year Award in 2016 by the Association of Media Woman Rewarding Excellence Women and Change Ambassador by Centre of Change in Community Development & Public Awareness – Dr Joe Odumakin Partnership programmes with United Nation.

She was also given a Lifetime Achievement Merit Award 2015 by Intern Center for Comparative Leadership for African Blacks in Diaspora Newline Communication and Style Personality of the Year 2012 by the Glams ‘n’ Essence. She is also that Patron of FADAN Association of Nigeria and has a Doctor of Science DSC (Honoris Causa) in Business Management and Corporate leadership by the senate of European American University.

Source: Guardian

Hi Ladies,

It’s another Saturday, lots of weddings to attend and someone out there might just be feeling left out because it’s not their turn, or they might be feeling left out because they don’t have a “Bae”, whereas this shouldn’t be the case. To buttress my point, I’ll say this….

“Marriage doesn’t solve your Loneliness, so don’t rush into Marriage because you are lonely. There are so many Lonely-Married people and you don’t want to be one of them.”

You see, I have heard a lot of singles ladies say they are lonely because they are not in a relationship like some of their peers, some of them also feel the solution is to get married but I disagree because Marriage is not the solution to loneliness. I have heard of many cases where a Wife is so lonely and lacks companionship in her home, despite being married and living with her spouse. So, please ladies, don’t rush into marriage because it’s trending or because you attend weddings every Saturday and feel like it’s the next achievement on your bucket list. Marry because you are ready and because you are fully prepared for what it entails. Trust me, it’s beyond a 6-hour event, so please prepare. If you feel lonely, get busy. Get involved in productive activities, go on holiday, hang out with good friends, watch a movie; read a book and work on your purpose. Enjoy the free time you have now and maximise it. Don’t let your age / family pressure you. Relax, be patient; you will get married at the right time according to God’s will.

Have a blessed / restful weekend. ❤️????

Feeyi Okupe

It doesn’t take much to be more attractive right now. You may feel that there’s little you can do to change how attractive you are. However, there are small changes that anyone can do with little time and effort that can influence the way people perceive how attractive you are.

Do these 7 things to make people think you’re more attractive than you actually are.

Avoid small talk

Experiments have been done that compare people who talk about surface issues with people who talk about deeper topics. These studies show that people who talk about themselves, their beliefs or their passions believe that their partners are more attractive than those who discuss the weather or other shallow subjects.

Eye contact

When you meet someone new, note what color their eyes are. You will look into their eyes just a bit more than you normally would. That extra eye contact can make you appealing to the other person.

Personal hygiene

There’s no accounting for what a good shower can do for your attractiveness. You smell better, your hair looks nicer, and it shows that you value yourself. Also, don’t forget to brush those teeth, trim that beard, and use deodorant. These things will do wonders.

Hand gestures

People rate those who use hand gestures as more engaging and confident, characteristics that are valued. Use hand gestures to up your attractiveness.

Dress well

You might not have control over how your nose looks (barring any plastic surgery related modifications), but you can decide what clothes go on your body. Believe it or not, what you choose to wear has a great effect on the level of your attractiveness. In fact, even if you’re not a particularly gorgeous gal, people will think you’re more attractive if you dress well.

Smile

People who smile are rated as more attractive than those who don’t so if you want to be better looking, just show those pearly whites.

Play hard to get

At least for men, this can be a useful tactic. Studies show that women are more likely to be interested in men when they can’t figure out whether or not he’s interested in them. It’s hypothesized that this is because women think a lot about the guy while trying to figure out if he likes them. Because she is thinking so much about the guy, the she concludes that she must like him.

Smell good

Having a nice scent triggers people’s brains to make you seem more attractive over all. A small spritz of perfume or cologne can make you seem better looking.