Suicide - Women of Rubies

In self development November 28, 2018 By Editor

“THE INDUSTRY WAS HOSTILE.. I THOUGHT OF DROWNING MYSELF IN THE 3RD MAINLAND BRIDGE” – MO’CHEDDAH

The talented rapper/singer and fashion designer soon exited the scene at a point when she was seen as the next big thing.

In a recent edition of the Dang Monologue, Mo’Cheddah opens up on her career, her battles and how she wanted to take her life at some point.

”I have been active in the music industry since I was 12,” she said, ”When I say actively, I mean going to the studio…I always knew what I wanted to do… Music was my life, it was what I wanted to do and It was easy for my parents to support me.

The day I recorded ‘Won Beri’, my life changed in an instant. I was 16 and the lady that was supposed to record the song didn’t show up, so they asked me to come record this thing pending the time she shows up, so I entered the booth and sang but nobody thought it sounded that good, until Sauce Kid [now Sinzu] came and asked, who sang this hook.

I didn’t need to be in the video, but Clarence Peters was like, the whole of Nigeria has been asking who is she and that changed my career.

She speaks on the part of the industry she wasn’t prepared for

”I was brought up to be very honest, to be very proud of my emotions, brought up to make my own decisions… I was coming from a naive, God-fearing family and I went into the world of adults and I was thrown into a jungle and people didn’t care if I was 16, they attacked me.

The industry was hostile… I would be performing and they would turn off my microphone because the A-list artist doesn’t like me. I didn’t get it, i didn’t know there was hate… I never knew hate…

There was one day I looked at my Mum and told her ”You taught me everything about love but you did not teach me to hate.” I don’t know why she did not, but the truth is there is hate in the world, so I went into the industry thinking everybody loved everybody. I didn’t understand that hate.

The day I won the Channel O award, that was around when Twitter came out and people I knew started dragging me online. People started asking why I won the award, people starting questioning me and carrying stories around me.

How do I meet a legend and I kneel down to say hi to her and she is like ”Get off me”, a woman I have looked up to for years, the industry was hostile.”

What broke me?

”What broke me was that when I left my label… people chose to pick sides and obviously it wasn’t mine.

I will never forget I was in my bedroom and I broke down. It was a week of shows and I was at home for that day, the next day I was to go to Ghana and I got a BBM that you had to come to the studio right now.

I just wanted to lay down, I was to go to Ghana the next day to record and perform, I just wanted to lay down… and it all dawned on me at that moment that I wasn’t living and even if I got to that place I was going, I will be so sad and miserable.

I was crying and I told my then boyfriend, [my husband now] and I told him I didn’t want to do this anymore.

There was a big family meeting and I told my Mum to get me a lawyer… so I have known these men since I was like three, I have known them, they were amazing to me and they came for me because of money, at that time I was 21 and I was fighting a legal battle with people I called my brothers.

That was when I knew the world was really messed up, that was when I knew I was on my own. I was poor, I won’t say I was depressed because I was famous and poor because my parents didn’t teach me to value money. I will be on a bus and someone will look at me like Mo Cheddah, why are you on a bus?

On depression and contemplating suicide

”I felt as I had failed, especially because I had thought that business will pick up. They had so much hate for me, they started bad-mouthing me to people to companies, to producers, so I was kind of blacklisted, so you know all that time people were saying, where is Mo’Cheddah, nobody wanted to work with me because they hated me and they wanted to do everything in their power to ruin me and I felt God forsook me, sadness consumed me.

I googled ”there is this darkness inside me” and I saw a lot of people had it, they were talking about depression.

The only reason I did not kill myself, first I didn’t know how I will kill myself. I thought about it so many times… I thought of drowning myself in the 3rd Mainland bridge, at times I wanted it to be quick, so I will be praying that God should just kill me.

All I had to do was understand that as long as I was at peace with this person, every other thing will be OK. I live to be happy.” she concluded.

See the concluding part here:

Credit: pulse.ng, Dang Monologue

In Editor's Choice October 13, 2018 By Editor

“I WANT TO HELP REDUCE THE NUMBER OF HOPELESS, HELPLESS, DEPRESSED & SUICIDAL SOULS IN NIGERIA- OYINKANSOLA ALABI

Last month, popular Nigerian Artiste Harry Song opened up on his battle with depression and cried out for help, while many mocked him for speaking up as a celebrated figure, one woman reached out to help him find his path and walk him through his healing process, that woman is Oyinkansola Alabi , popularly referred to as the Emotions Doctor, the Lead Researcher and Lead Facilitator of EMOTIONS CITY, an Emotions Coaching and Consulting Firm. The company works with leaders of various arms of Government and NGO’s as well as Business and Institution leaders at all levels, using original, home grown research and principle based methodologies.

She is one of Nigeria’s clearest and sought after high impact trainer. She has trained tens of thousands of executives who desired to achieve a high level of Emotional Intelligence.

The Cornell University trained Human Resource Executive, Certified Life Coach, Cognitive Behavioural Specialist, Licensed Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, only female six seconds network leader in Nigeria, is also the convener of the first ever Emotional Intelligence Week in Nigeria and arguably in Africa .Oyinkan also serves as an ordained Pastor under the astute leadership of Pastors Taiwo and Nomthi Odukoya.

In celebration of World’s Mental health week, Oyinkan shares her inspiring story with me in this exclusive interview as she highlights the cause of the recent increase in depression and her determination to give hope to those who are hopeless and on the verge of giving up.

Childhood Influence
In retrospect I think that my childhood prepared me for what I’m doing now because 2 months before I was born my father had stroke and that life altering experience introduced me and my family into a flavor of poverty and scarcity.I grew up faster than my peers because I had learned how to take responsibility for my existence.

I also promised myself that I was going to be the best version of what God created me to be despite my financially epileptic background. I must also admit that one clear value my parents transmitted to me was the yearning for knowledge.

I remember my father taught me how to read by giving me a book to read every week and when I was done reading he gave me a gift. I initially read because I wanted a gift but I later read to a point where I outgrew the gift. I knew I was consuming knowledge for my own good.

Meet Me!
I am the voice of your unconscious calling you to embrace your greatness. I amA soul who is passionately consumed by the vision to help adults take responsibility for their mental health and emotional stability.I desire to help as many people as possible in every state, every country, whatever gender, marital status, sexuality, religion, move from a place of emotional instability to a place of emotional stability, a state of unhappiness to a state of happiness. I am that soul who craves to help you increase your productivity, happiness and help live a life of fulfillment want you to know that we are not on earth to work, pay bills and die, you are here to enjoy your life.

Inspiration behind Emotions City

My desire to help people move from a state of pain into a state deep happiness and fulfilment ignited my desire to launch Emotions City.We actually launched the Youthmax Academy earlier which is arguably the first Emotional Intelligence Academy for Millennials in Africa.Then we started receiving training requests from Professionals and corporate organisations who had been informed of our unparalleled value and results. The essence of Emotions City is to help people live the best version of their life.We desire to help people reduce their pain, We desire to give life where death looms,We desire to reduce the number of hopeless, helpless, depressed and suicidal souls in Nigeria.We are also the only mental health facility in Nigeria who offers round the clock coaching and therapy service. While others close for the day, our midnight listeners are willing to listen and resolve emotional distractions.

Impact

I think that the results of my impact are in the quality of souls that I have been able to raise. I daily engage a principle I heard a while ago that, it is better to train a child than to repair an adult. I think it’s true because a number of professionals are repairing adults which in itself isn’t bad but I think we can become more proactive by raising kids instead.Raising kids is proactive, repairing adults is reactive.To this end, we have created sub units under the YOUTHMAX Academy called the Child and Teen max Academy. It’s been proven that it’s cheaper to raise than to repair. A broken soul at best will be remoulded but never restored to default setting. Only God restores.

Balancing it all

I doubt the concept work life balance exist, I think what exists in reality is work life integration. I integrate my life by living and existing one day at a time. I deliberately refuse to engage in emotional labour where I worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself, My duty is to prepare and plan. So my responsibility as a Coach, Pastor, Public speaker and Mum are going well. I am not perfect but I am getting better at it daily.

Work Challenges

I am in a field plagued my men. Men who have been programmed to think it’s their birth right to lead. Men who support other men and will choose other men before they remember women exist. They do this not because they hate women but because they have been scripted to reach out to other men before women.The second interesting challenger is fact that some clients feel entitled to your time and expertise. They feel it is your responsibility to serve them for free once they reach out to you. Most of them haven’t been trained to take responsibility for their mental health. They have been trained to request for freebies so once your invoice welcomes them to reality, they freeze and some resort to emotional blackmail. This really doesn’t bother me because I am aware I can’t help everyone. I will only help those I desire to.

Other Projects

We are collaborating with some international organisations to help develop revolutionary products. We will disclose them in due time but for now, we are concentrating on making Emotions City the one stop centre for emotional intelligence training and solution.

Reward

My greatest reward are the evidence of changed lives. I am not on earth to be rich or be wealthy. I am here to help souls embrace their inner divinity. I am also aware that resources will be provided while being consumed by my passion.

Emotions City in 5 years
In the next five years, we will have moved from being just service providers into products manufacturers and global thought leaders. Are you wondering how? We will share details when we can.

Never giving up
No I have never thought of giving up. My noble goal is addictive enough to consume me. I however get tired and when I do I reach out to mentors, friends and family members. I must admit that I am blessed with beautiful relationships that service my existence.

Women who inspire me

Models like Oprah, Serena Williams, Maya Angelou, Bimbo Odukoya inspire me to do more. These souls lived / live for humanity.

Being a Woman of Rubies

One familiar truth I am aware of is that I am authentic.I am true to my soul. My public and private life are in sync. My words and actions also align.I think my authenticity and my voice are what makes me a woman of rubies.

Nigerians & Awareness to Mental health

Nigerians need more awareness and clarity on mental health. A good number of us actually think mental health is only for people with psychological issues.We haven’t fully come to terms with the fact that there is no health without mental health.

Cause of increase in Depression
The word is becoming more complex. Culture is changing. Economy is worsening. The rules of parenting, relationships and success are being redefined. Social media is brewing envy and jealousy.

These complex engagements are ultimately climaxing some emotionally unstable adults into a state of unhappiness, hopelessness, helplessness, self esteem issues, inferiority complex etc. Once all of these states set in and your internal affairs are more disempowering than empowering. You will question your existence. Once you feel you are not good enough, nobody cares about you, the world will be better without you.Suicide becomes attractive. Suicide is however not an option. There are at least five other options you can embrace and we can show you how at Emotions City.

In self development October 11, 2018 By Editor

UK APPOINTS FIRST MINISTER OF SUICIDE PREVENTION

The United Kingdom has, in commemoration of the World Mental Health Day, appointed its first Minister of Suicide Prevention.

The UK Prime Minister Theresa May announced the appointment, naming Jackie Doyle-Price as Minister for Mental Health, Inequalities and Suicide Prevention.
The Conservative Party shared the news on its Twitter, writing:
@theresa_may has appointed the first ever UK Minister for Suicide Prevention.
@JackieDP will lead a new national effort as we work to reduce the number of suicides and overcome the stigma that stops people seeking help.

Mashable reports that Doyle-Price, who was a junior minister in the Department of Health, said:
In my time as health minister I have met many people who have been bereaved by suicide and their stories of pain and loss will stay with me for a long time.
It’s these people who need to be at the heart of what we do and I welcome this opportunity to work closely with them, as well as experts, to oversee a cross-government suicide prevention plan, making their sure their views are always heard.
About 4,500 are said to die by suicide yearly in England, and the ministry’s work will be to see to the reduction of the number, something Doyle-Price has said she’s committed to.

In self development May 2, 2017 By Editor

WENDY JESSEN : 12 REASONS WHY’ I CHOOSE LIFE

Suicide is not an option, because there are better alternatives. Find your reasons to live and seek professional help as needed.

Depression and poor mental/emotional health are the main contributing factors to suicide and suicidal thoughts.

Suicide isn’t something anyone should consider and it needs to be addressed from a perspective of hope; that things will get better, people do love and care about you and that there are many other options.

Suicide should never be an option. Getting healthy by seeking professional help is what really needs to happen.

Healing our inner scars will alleviate those thoughts, feelings and tendencies.

There is always hope

Life really does suck sometimes, and other people’s behaviors and choices affect us. As a survivor of sexual abuse, I can see the ripples in my life from being violated and hurt as a child. Sometimes we think the only way to stop hurting, to stop feeling the weight and pain left in the wake of abuse, is to leave this life behind. But it’s not true. That’s a lie Satan wants us to believe.

Because of our Savior Jesus Christ we can heal, and we can stop feeling the pains of abuse.

We have hope.

We have options.

2. We are not what happened to us

We are loved by God who knows who we are and what we need. We can use His love and all other resources available to find peace and heal. You’re never alone.

Put these reasons in a prominent place and refer to it when you’re struggling and continue to add to the list. There are always reasons to keep living. And if you can’t find one, ask someone close to you to help you see all the reasons why you are needed.

Here are just 12 reasons I choose life over suicide

My six children (who could really count as individual reasons), who are not perfect, but are incredible little humans.

My patient husband, who is also not perfect, but tries hard and loves me despite myself.

My faith in God.

I have goals I want to complete before my life is complete.

I’m stronger than I think I am.

My close friends who enrich my life and encourage me to keep going.

I have overcome a lot to get where I am now.

I refuse to let the actions of others control my life.

Without pain, I couldn’t experience joy. If I’m in pain, I know joy is around the corner.

I want to help others know they’re not alone.

I like progressing and improving and I can’t do that without being alive.

Suicide would be letting a lot of people down- my family, my friends and myself. And, of course, God who doesn’t want any of us to give up.

What are your 12 (or more) reasons to keep on living? Write them down! Share them with a friend! Remind yourself frequently of every reason you have to stay alive.

Don’t give up, my friends. Suicide is not the answer. It will get better, you will overcome; you will heal. You are stronger than you know and you have so many people on earth and in Heaven rooting for you, cheering you on. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to cry out in prayer. You are loved. Don’t give up. You have many other, much better options. Reach out and seek help.

Please, if you are having suicidal thoughts and/or actions, seek help from a professional, or a friend or family member who will take you seriously and assist you in finding the professional help you need.

Source: Familyshare