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Do you have relationship deal breakers?

A deal breaker is a factor to consider when deciding whether to follow through with something or not. It’s that little something that makes you say “I’m done!” even when you really love someone or you’ve been together forever.

It may sound harsh — after all, no relationship is perfect, right? — but having a list of relationship deal breakers is actually a healthy way to protect yourself from toxic situations.

Don’t get caught up in controlling, hurtful, and potentially dangerous relationships. Here are 12 relationship deal breakers that you should seriously consider when deciding whether your sweetheart is actually worth your time.

1. There Is Abuse in the Relationship

A healthy relationship is about respect, putting your spouse first, and treating them how you want to be treated.

On the other hand, a partner who lays a hand on you or emotionally abuses you is a major relationship deal-breaker.

Many people convince themselves that just because it happens once doesn’t mean it will happen again. Remember, you deserve a healthy relationship, and someone who abuses you Physically or emotionally even once isn’t worth your time.

2. You’re a Secret

If you find out that your spouse hasn’t told their friends or family about you, run for your life! Because being a secret means one of three things.

  1. They are already in a relationship and you are the side piece.
  2. They can’t commit.
  3. They are embarrassed by you.

Your time is valuable and shouldn’t be wasted being with someone who would rather keep you as their dirty little secret.

3. Plans Are Constantly Cancelled

Does your partner always seem to be ditching out on plans with you last minute?

Sure, there are legitimate reasons that your partner may be doing this, such as being called into work unexpectedly, but feeling like the person you’re crazy about is bailing on your company in favor of partying with their friends is definitely shady.

If you find that your long-term partner starts doing this, it may be signs of a deeper problem in the relationship that needs to be discussed.

4. Substance Abuse Problems

Sitting down with a drink is a great way to relax — and let’s be honest, having a buzz on is fun! But if your spouse needs some sort of substance to have a good time, or if their personality drastically changes when they are under the influence, it can really throw you for a loop.

Substance abuse is one of the biggest relationship deal breakers on this list. It can cause your partner to mistreat you, be untrustworthy, waste money, and make poor decisions that will hurt you.

Why would you want to be around someone who is high or drunk 24/7, anyway?

5. Your Partner Isn’t Faithful

When it comes to cheating, put your foot down immediately. Don’t forgive and wait for the next round of heartbreak. If you have both agreed to a monogamous relationship, both parties should be respecting that decision.

Even if you put breaking your trust and your heart aside, your partner’s cheating on you puts you at risk for depression, sexually transmitted infections, and major embarrassment.

If your partner doesn’t love and respect you enough to stay faithful, dump them. They aren’t worth your time.

6. They Fight Dirty

There are times when we’ve all said stupid things in the heat of an argument, but there’s a difference between getting caught up and using a disagreement as an excuse to be a complete jerk.

If during an argument, your partner or spouse:

  • Brings up past experiences with the intention of hurting your feelings
  • Calls you rude or degrading names
  • Gaslights you to make you feel crazy
  • Attacks you instead of the issue
  • Uses the silent treatment

Then you should consider walking away.

Healthy relationships are about open communication and fair conflict resolutions — not about seeing who can hurt the other more.

7. You Don’t Feel Good About the Relationship

Do you feel good about being around your partner, or do you get knots when you think about hanging out together?

Do you get anxiety when you think about your relationship?

Does your partner make you question your self-worth?

If so, something inside you is probably screaming: “This relationship isn’t right!” There is definitely something to be said for gut instinct when it comes to deciding whether or not to stay with someone.

If your gut is telling you something is off in your relationship, there probably is.

8. You Want Different Things

Sometimes, even if you really love each other, your relationship game just isn’t meant to work out.

He wants East Coast, you want West.

She wants to save money, you want to spend.

He wants kids, you’re fine riding as a duo.

Even if you get along well, these fundamental differences in your goals and where you see your lives going are going to cause serious resentment problems if you don’t address them soon.

9. They’re Unbelievably Selfish

We’re all selfish from time to time, but some people take it too far.

If you feel like you’re giving your all to your spouse, and all they’re doing is taking, focusing on themselves, and taking advantage of your kindness, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

Don’t spend a second longer with a selfish narcissist. Trust me, it isn’t worth the headache.

10. They’re Always Jealous

Healthy jealousy is totally cool when it inspires couples to treat each other better and not take one another for granted.

However, controlling, hack-your-Facebook-and-demand-your-phone-password jealousy should never be tolerated. This is a sign of insecurity and can quickly develop into dangerous or abusive behavior. It’s better to get out before it reaches that point.

11. You Don’t Share Values

You may think that opposites attract — and that’s true! — but that doesn’t always mean they make the best partners.

If you are passionate about your politics or your faith and your spouse has opposing beliefs that upset or anger you, it could mean that your relationship wasn’t meant to be.

If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone with opposing values, be aware that it will take a great deal of time to work through how you talk about and handle those things. If you simply don’t have the patience or desire to do so, it’s time to walk away.

12. You’re Always Fighting

Do you feel like you and your spouse are always arguing?

Sure, even happy couples argue, but constantly arguing with a partner is one of our relationship deal breakers because it shows that you have poor communication skills.

Communication is everything when it comes to a healthy, happy relationship. Couples need to be able to talk to each other in order to build empathy, resolve problems, and get closer. This means addressing problems as they arise, not letting them sit and turn into huge fights down the line.

The Bottom Line

Life is far too short to spend it with someone who isn’t worth your time. If your spouse is controlling, annoying, or won’t seem to give you the time of day, it’s time to call it quits! This is obviously a difficult decision to make, but your future self will thank you when they’ve found someone who is better for them.

Whether you are happy or miserable, these tips can strengthen your relationship.

After the honeymoon ends and reality sets in, you begin to realize how much work goes into a healthy marriage. And yet, even decades after their wedding day, some couples claim their many years of marriage as the best of their life. Clearly, they’ve learned what it takes to maintain a happy marriage, so why can’t you?

Here are the top four things that will make all the difference in your marriage:

  1. Apologize and let things go

There’s a misconception that apologizing is a sign of weakness. But in a relationship, doing so demonstrates strength. Happy couples will build their relationship by offering genuine apologies when they’ve done something wrong or hurtful to their sweetheart.

Being stubborn or holding grudges can tear you and your spouse apart. The longer you wait to apologize, the longer the problem will fester and infect your relationship.

Once you’ve cleared the air, learn to let the issue go, because leaving your problems in the past will allow you to grow closer together.

  1. Honest communication

Communication takes work – a lot of work, but it’s the key to a strong and thriving relationship.

There’s a bit of a learning curve as you adapt to each other’s needs.

Start with, “This is how I’m feeling, and this is what I need from you right now.”

This statement will open an honest and judgement-free conversation that allows you to be transparent and straightforward with your feelings and with what you need from your spouse in return.

3. Never say anything bad about your spouse

You never know who is listening, and it might get back to them. People who don’t know your spouse could meet them and greet them with, “I’ve never met you but I’ve heard…” Don’t talk badly about them, even if they aren’t around.

Even if what you’re saying is true, speaking ill of them promotes your underlying negative feelings. Every time you vocalize those thoughts to yourself, in your journal, to your mother, to your friend or even to your spouse, negative thoughts and feelings become rooted deeply and cause you to resent them for no reason.

Avoiding negative thoughts and promoting each other’s positive attributes will immediately strengthen your relationship.

4. Learn each other’s love languages

There are a variety of love languages, so you and your spouse may differ in the ways you receive and show affection. Make it a goal to learn your spouse’s love language and vice versa. That way, you can always be certain you are meeting their needs.

For example, I have a friend whose love language is quality time. Her husband knows this, so he sits in the same room as her. But, he tends to fiddle with his computer, play a game or do homework when sitting with her. My friend explained to me that it took some time for her husband to understand that being in the same room was not the same thing as quality time.

The fastest way to find happiness in your marriage is to establish healthy habits from the beginning. Take time to discuss any changes you want to make in your relationship, and ask for your partner’s cooperation and help. Honest conversations are worth the time to infuse your relationship with more life, affection and happiness.

Source: Familyshare

One of the greatest feelings a woman can ever have is a man’s true love. Though your boyfriend may take time telling you he is in love with you, chances are he already has through his actions. That’s what happened to me. I knew my husband was in love with me by the way he paid close attention to all my needs. He genuinely cared to hear about my good days and my bad days. Moreover, I didn’t have to ask him to do something for me. He just knew. He loved spending time with my family and me. And he said “I love you” first.For the most part, women are quicker at expressing their emotions to their partners; meanwhile, men take a longer time. You may assume that your boyfriend is not in love with you because he has not verbally expressed his feelings or revealed the three words all women love to hear. But take a close look at his gestures, his mannerisms and how he looks at you. The love he has for you is in the tiniest details.

Here are five ways you can tell the man you love is in love with you, too.

  1. Shows interest

When your boyfriend starts to ask you in-depth questions about your likes, dislikes and future goals, he is in to you. He wants to learn everything about you. He sincerely cares.

  2. Delicate touches

He grabs your hand gently during a walk in the park or at a family gathering. He caresses your hair softly. He hugs you for no reason at all. He affectionately touches your face as he stares at you. Sometimes just sitting at home watching a movie and cuddling on the couch speaks volumes.

3. Spending time together

When you find your boyfriend spending less time with his friends and more time with you, he is in love. He is not giving up on his friends; he simply chooses to spend as much time with you as possible. His priorities begin to shift.

4. Does anything for you

He doesn’t care what it takes, but he will make anything possible for you. He may not necessarily be interested in the things you are interested in, but he makes the effort to take part. He doesn’t mock what brings you joy. Perhaps you love a particular musician, and he doesn’t. But he surprises you with two concert tickets – one for you and one for him.

5. Talks about marriage and children

If your boyfriend inquires about your feelings on marriage and children and expresses his thoughts on the matter, chances are he’s been thinking about a future with you. And if you both share the same feelings about marriage and creating a beautiful family together, love exists.

6. Says those three special words first

He tells you “I love you” before you do. It doesn’t matter when or where he says it. All that matters is that he wants to say it first.

Again, it’s easier for a woman to share her innermost thoughts compare to most men. Many men have a hard time verbalizing their feelings even though they do love you. However, through their positive actions and attentive ways, you will know he is in love. Give him time and you’ll hear “I love you.”

Written By: Colon  Mayra for Familyshare