Raising kids


Siblings bickering and arguing can be frustrating and mentally exhausting for parents. Although disagreements between siblings may drive parents crazy, it teaches our kids how to deal with and resolve conflict at an early age. This will, in turn, help them handle conflicts in relationships outside of their immediate family as they become adults. Nevertheless, when it seems like your children can’t get along even for a minute, then you can try these tips:

Look after each child’s needs

Children feel valued if you make it clear that it’s not okay for younger children to mess up older children’s activities, and vice versa. Also, take time out to bond individually with each child, and, most importantly, try not to compare children with each other.

Praise their good behaviour

Notice and give positive feedback to your kids when they’re well behaved. When you tell children clearly and specifically what they’re doing well, you’re likely to see more of that behaviour.

Show children how to get along

You are your children’s number one role model. Your children will notice if you iron out differences without fighting. If you would like your children to figure things out calmly and respectfully, they have to see you doing this. If you would like them to be ready to apologize to others, they have to see you apologising too.

Coach your children

You are your children’s problem-solving coach. You should teach them the way to handle disagreements and guide them toward skills for managing angry feelings, negotiating, and playing fair. This is much better than having to step in when they’re brewing or even worse, being a referee who breaks up fights.

You can also try these tips whenever they start fighting:

Hold hands

Whenever you notice your kids fighting, call them to sit together and hold hands till they solve their issues. Before you know it, they’ll laugh and forget that they were fighting.

T-shirt co-operation

The idea is that you simply have an extra-large men’s t-shirt that the kids must wear together until they stop bickering. Older kids can even be made to do chores while crammed within the t-shirt together. While the shirt is on, speak to them about how things work better once they agree to work together (trust me, if they need to try to do anything while wearing one shirt, they have no choice but to work together.)

Job bottle

Think of about a dozen chores. Write them on small strips of paper. Laminate them or cover with tape so that it can’t get mangled. Explain to your kids that each time a fight breaks out they all have to pick a job out from the job bottle. They don’t get to choose, they only grab one. When the squabbling starts, just calmly say, “job bottle.”

Hug it out

One time, I made my kids hug and told them they had to continue to hug each other until they stopped being mad at one another. I found them laughing at their situation because they were physically locked together. After that, ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ would follow.

Give them a problem to solve together

You can try giving your kids a puzzle to solve together to stop them from arguing. When they finish that, give them a harder one. Solving puzzles together encourages them to get along, rely on each other, and help one another.

Finally, it may help to remember that a certain amount of bickering and fighting is normal and even healthy in your children’s relationships with each other. Try some of these ideas and see if one works for you.

Remember, consistency is key. When you find a solution that works for your kids, continue with it. I’m confident that you’ll see a marked improvement in how your children get along.

Do you have any tips to ensure your kids get along? Feel free to share.

Raising children in this digital age is different from our days where we were raised with restrictions. In the digital age, there are no restrictions. Everything is out there , whether you like it or not. This makes it challenging for parents to raise their children, if they don’t become deliberate and intentional about it.

Recently, I was having a conversation with a client, and as we continued the conversation, I said “parenting is a business and it must be treated as such”. Immediately, I said this, I looked at her and I could see that it took some self control for her not to roll her eyes at me. In that moment, I realised that there were probably a lot of mums out there who would probably not agree with this statement.

I could understand why this lady thought this way. We know that a business is the act of making, buying or selling products or services in exchange for money; so, classifying parenting as a business sounded absurd to her.

If you take a minute to think about it, you’ll realise that God placed the business of parenting in your hands. He also gave clear instructions when He blessed you with that child which is to train him up the way he should go!

In this digital age, everything you thought you knew about parenting has probably changed. However, our role as parents remain the same . Therefore, you cannot continue to use the ancient method you were brought up with, with your children and expect to get great results.

I have come to realize that when things are practicable, we understand it, because we can visualize it better. So, let’s relate it to real life business. As parents, you will do everything you can to grow in your business or career. You will pay business coaches, take professional courses, write qualifying exams, travel for days or months, if necessary, to progress in your field. However, when it comes to raising your child, you prefer to figure it out, make mistakes and wait for God to sort it out for you.

Can you progress in your business or career, if the knowledge you use is outdated? Imagine using the knowledge of 5,10, 20 years ago to operate in 2019? You would be out of a job if you had a career, or out of business if you were an entrepreneur as your competition must have taken over . In fact, it’s no news that if you want to succeed in business in this day and age, you must continuously innovate.

Now, if you must continuously innovate yourself or business to stay ahead of your competitors, why do you think it is okay to parent your kids in the same way you were brought up 20, 30 years ago? Why are you not seeking new ways to raise your digitized babies?

We have left raising our children to chance, the internet, gadgets, schools, teachers and religious organisations. We don’t do this to our businesses/careers? Why do that to your children? Your children are given to you to nurture, teach, guide and train and it is a role you shouldn’t take lightly.

Raising children in this digital age is different from our days where we were raised with restrictions. In the digital age, there are no restrictions. Everything is out there , whether you like it or not. This makes it challenging for parents to raise their children, if they don’t become deliberate and intentional about it. The days of trial and error are long gone. We need to start to seek help where necessary, because in this day and age it is so easy to lose a child.


Because the world is moving too fast and children are easily carried away if they aren’t brought up the right way.

Want to learn how to parent right and excel in this business of raising your child? Here are a few helpful tips:

Be a role model
Your kids are watching. 80% of your parenting is made easier if you practice what you preach to your children.

Speak positively
Rather than label your child in the negative light, use a positive approach. For example, rather than say you’re a liar, say, you know you’re not a liar, so why did you have to lie?

Create and spend quality time with them
Spending as little as 30 minutes a day, intentionally, will have more impact on them than not spending any time at all. Your children will also appreciate spending this time with you.

Invest in your kids’ talents and gifts
If they’re particularly skilled at something say singing, be their number one cheerleader. Gone are the days you have to be a medical doctor to be rich and famous.

Involve them in your day to day activities
Even if you run a tight schedule, you can bond with them through routine activities like ironing, cooking and cleaning.

Listen to them and don’t be too quick to judge
Your kids are human beings too, ask for their opinion on issues concerning them and listen to them.

Be quick to apologize when you’re wrong
Some of our parents are guilty for always wanting to be right and never apologising when they’re wrong. Don’t be that parent. In fact, don’t be too surprised if your little one calls you out for not apologising. We are in 2019 after all.

Invest in getting knowledge
Some of us need more help than others when it comes to parenting. If you think you need more knowledge to raise your child(ren), get it.

Teach them through life stories
Children often connect better with stories, so ensure you teach them valuable life lessons in the same way. In addition, it is okay to be vulnerable with your children.

Teach them the power of choice and consequences of decisions
Help them to understand that the choices they make can make or mar them for life.

Pray for them and with them
Prayer is key when raising kids in this day and age. But, remember you have a part to play before God can do His. Some parents are quick to hide under the umbrella of prayers and forget their responsibility.

While it takes a village to raise a child, being an intentional parent, who puts in some work and thought, will surely help in the long run.

Source: Bellanaija